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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

 

 Tues-Wed  May 12-13, 2009  Vol 2333 - Give 'em TX, OK 
.

Quote of the Day

"I don't know how the guests get booked,” 
      -- Obama Press Sec Gibbs, distancing himself
          from Wanda Sykes after her WHC Dinner  Link
 

  I never liked this Gibbs guy much and this doesn't help.
  For one, he's a coweard who can't answer questions.
  If he can't answer questions, what good is he?

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow More Tort Memos Coming 
Arrow Multiple organ failure  HOT
Arrow Who'll run the NYW Times? HOT
Arrow De-basing Torture HOT
Arrow Star Trek Movie Bigger 
Arrow Bush had Kids Raped HOT
Arrow Oklahoma wants out, too 
Arrow SM Gellar - No Buffy Movie? 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 







 



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Quotes

"Obama just can't come out and say, 'I'm for nationalization. I think that his goal here is to dramatically 
increase federal spending in a host of areas and to nationalize the financial structures system. And if he 
can do both of those things using the recession/depression as his excuse, he's going to do it."
     -- Dick Morris, liar and whore, claiming Obama wants to nationalize the whole country,     Link
 

 Butt Dick, if you want GM and Chrysler to go out of business, just say so.
 If you want the banks to fail, just say so.
 If you want the housing industry to crash, just say so.

 Obama is fixing the mess you bastards made.

 What's your solution?
 How will more tax cuts for the super-rich stabilize our economy?
 

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See more at  whatnowtoons.com


More Tort Memos Coming
 Why is Cheney so afraid the truth might get out?

 Link

 Excerpt:
There’s a big piece of news about Dick Cheney and torture buried toward the end of this big Washington Post piece about the torture wars.

Specifically: The White House will release a classified 2004 CIA report about the torture program that is reported to have found no proof
that torture foiled any terror plots - directly contradicting Cheney’s lies. The paper cites “allies” of the White House as a source.

Dem Congressional staffers tell me this report is the “holy grail,” because it is expected to detail torture in unprecedented detail 
and to cast doubt on the claim that torture works - and its release will almost certainly trigger howls of protest from conservatives.
 

I say bring it on.

The Rethugs will have to call an emergency meeting to discuss how to make it go away:
Do they say, "The memo is a lie?"    Hard to do with Bush's CIA doing the writing.
Do they say, "We did it, but we had to?"  Where the proof of that?

Will the Democrats choose to run and hide?
Or will they stand and fight?
I think we both know the answer to that.

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 Subject: Peace everlasting

If there is anyone out there lurking, still mad about Bart’s support of Hillary, I’d like to ask you to come home.
Nobody gave Bart more shit than I did but I knew something he didn’t. 
We totally rocked Dona Ana County, NM.  We won the state.

If your feelings are still hurt, if you haven’t been reading, let me tell you, Bart has been 
a big supporter of the Obama Administration.   Bart’s one of the best we’ve got.

Never count the “Obama is the Anti-Christ” Republicans out of the race.   Never, never, never.
We won by 7 points this time, we can lose by 7 next time. 
The economy is inevitably in for a few bad years of bad news.
Don’t, for God’s sake, turn over power to the Palin/Plumber ticket. 
Fight. Win. Fight again.

Rock on, Bart. You da man.
 Wes in LC
 

Wes, thanks for that, but the people who left in a huff won't see it  :)
 

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Multiple organ failure 
 by Mary Ellen Synon, liar and whore

 Link

 Excerpt:
When Silvio Berlusconi made a light-hearted joke last year about the Obama's 'suntan' the American press corps 
expressed outrage at what they tried to blow-up to be a racist remark from a right-wing politician. Yet Saturday night, 
when Obama made a joke about the skin colour of John Boner, the journalists thought it was frightfully witty.

You're trying to call a suntan joke against a white guy racist?
Boner laughed at it - it was a joke - so what's wrong with you?

And when Wanda Sykes attacked the Fascist vulgar Pigboy, she said Limbaugh's opinions 
were treason and that he was no better than Osama bin Laden. 

She was telling the truth there - he wants Obama to fail, just like Osama does.

There were big grins from the president through all of this. 

It's called humor.
Get over it, then get over your pompous ass.

Then Sykes said she wished Limbaugh's kidneys would fail. The president laughed through it all. 
Which only goes to show that Limbaugh's observation on this administration is correct: they don't want 
to debate, he says. They only want to destroy.

It was a light-hearted evening of fun and jokes, not a debate.
Christ, you're so stupid you don't know that?

You can't make any points by telling the truth or staying on-topic, so you make shit up.
I guess I might do the same thing - if I was on the wrong side of the facts.
 

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Erik Organic Furniture

Erik has been advertising on  bartcom.com  since 2002.


Quotes

"In a nutshell: Liberal comedian Wanda Sykes indulged in Palin-bashing, Rush Derangement Syndrome, 
and post-Bush/Cheney-induced psychosis while leftist journalists rubbed elbows with politicos and Tinseltown 
eye candy. They all Twittered and tittered and Flickr-ed and snickered together at various D.C. before, during, 
and after-parties. It was the most self-absorbed night in Washington. Since the inaugural, I mean."
     -- Michelle Malkin, not invited to the big party,    Link
 

  The real reason she's mad is everybody was reminded of the superb beatdown that Stephen Colbert put on Bush,
  because Bush's White House was too goddamn stupid to realize that Colbert was the enemy.
 

 

 Malkin, seen here screaming thew f-word at somebody, maybe a poor person or a single mother.
 

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Quotes

"While President Obama has no plan for what to do with these killers, he has pledged 
  to close the torture center at Gitmo to fulfill a campaign promise."
    --  Kit Bond, (R-Misery)    Link
 

 Butt Kit, (How gay is the first name 'Kit' anyway?)  are you saying these guys 
 are so bad-ass that there's no prison in America that can hold them?
 

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 Subject: Bush reading 'My Pet Goat'

Bart, dude.

Speaking of  ---

> "Could it be because YOU set this up and didn't tell the Top Stooge?"

 ---  that scene in Farenheit 9/11, with Bush staring off into space at the elementary school, 
sitting on a 2nd Grader's chair with My Pet Goat forgotten in his paws, that long, long take of him 
looking very fucking lost and confused, not saying anything, just sitting there staring off into space  
I wondered what was going on in his head and figured basically he was thinking something like, 
"So that's what those guys were talking about.  Whoah, shit."
 Doug
 

Doug, Bush had a lot on his mind that day - wondering how that poor goat 
was going to find his way back to little Billy and the family farm.
 

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Click  to  Watch


Who'll run the NYW Times?
 You mean Drudge, Cheney and Rush are moving on?

 Link

 Excerpt:
Every day for months now, pundits and peanut gallery members have weighed in on the subject of what The New York Whore Times 
might do to save itself. The prevailing wisdom is that the Times - arguably the most influential and well-regarded newspaper on the planet

(insert vomit graphic here)

- is in peril of disappearing, and jeez, if the Grey Lady can't survive, who will, and what does that portend for the future of journalism? 

If no johns want to bang the Old Grey Whore, maybe she should get out of the business.

The Whore Times newspaper is holding up better than many of its competitors amid the media meltdown, and the company's problems 
are largely corporate in nature. So a better question is: who might end up controlling the newspaper and what will they do with it?

How about we let Joe the Plumber have it?
He couldn't do a worse job than the Steno Judes who work their now.

 

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Mike Malloy Live


Quotes

"Michael (Tom) Steele is a huge shock because he's different, and not just because he's African American. 
  He's different because he's a free spirit. He's used to saying what he thinks. He's controversial. He has 
  enormous energy. He has great self-confidence."
    -- Newt Ginrich, who's happy with Steel saying the GOP primary voters rejected Mitt Romney,    Link
 

 When Gingrich runs in 2012, you know the Democrats will be too scared to list the facts, one of which
 is that Newt told his wife he wanted a divorce when she was in the hospital being treated for cancer and
 another is that he cheated on wife #1 with wife #2, and he cheated on wife #2 with wife #3.

 Well, we won't be afraid to mention those things - about 1,000 times.
 

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Bush's & Cheney's Amerikkka


 Subject: Children raped at Abu Ghraib

Bush's torture program included sodomizing children in front of their mothers at Abu Ghraib. These are crimes that
were committed by Americans in the name of America under control of the President. These were not just a few rogue
low level prisons guards and justice is not served by allowing those who ordered the raping of children to go unpunished.

We as Americans have to at least prosecute the people at the top to show the world
that torture doesn't change from right to wrong based on which party is in office.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

http://marc.perkel.com

Founder of the Church of Reality
http://www.churchofreality.org
"Reality changed my life. It can change you life too!"
 

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 Subject: America's Domestic Enemies

When Sean Hannity asks what kind of violence is best.
http://www.fair.org/images/hannitypoll.bmp

When the governor of Texas speaks openly about secession.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D97J48IO2.html

When the Congresswoman from Minnesota calls on her constituency to take up arms against the government.
http://greeninc.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/25/michele-bachmann-seeks-armed-and-dangerous-opposition-to-cap-and-trade/

When Glenn Beck characterizes the President's performance as equivalent to pouring gasoline on the citizenry.
http://www.foxnews.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streaming

It is high time to expose these seditious types who disguise their true intentions by flag backdrops.
They are not patriots. They are not merely engaging in free speech. They are inciting rebellion,
every bit as dangerous as elements in other countries that have overthrown democratic governments.
Small and new, yes, but gathering strength. Allow them, ignore them at your peril.
 Scott
 

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Quotes

"He doesn't need the money. He has no further political ambitions. He is not hot for interns. He is not a torture freak. 
  He knows that he is toxic and despised by the drive-by media and the Democrat party and the left in this country. 
  What motivation does Dick Cheney have to go out and say these things? Is it possible that Dick Cheney is motivated 
  by national interest? Is it possible that Dick Cheney is motivated by love of and for his country? Is it possible that 
  Dick Cheney is speaking from his heart and is not speaking politically?"
     -- the vulgar Pigboy,  Link
 

 Hey Pigboy, it's possible Cheney is a Eskimo named Nanook, but I don't think that's the case.

 And why did you say Cheney was hated by the media and the Left, but you failed to mention Republicans hate him, too?
 And if Cheney was motivated by a love of country, and not the billions Halliburton stole with their no-bid contracts,
 why didn't he serve honorably when he had the chance?

 Truth is, Cheney sold oil field equipment to Saddam all thru the nineties and then he had his Monkey invade Iraq 
 so the two of them could steal all the precious sweet crude oil Halliburton could pump out in 6 years.

 Butt Pigboy, here's the REAL reason Cheney was motivated to become the Monkey's organ grinder.

Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which went to $100 $120a barrel
makes $420,000,000 Bush and Cheney stole every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war, stealing  $420,000,000 every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

And what did it cost them?

Not much...


 

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F-ing Bill Gates

I download a bunch of cartoons - usually about 40 per issue.
Each time I download a toon, Bill Gates puts up a big box that says,

"You just downloaded a toon, Dude."

Yeah, I f-ing know Bill, and do you know how I know?
Because I just downloaded the son of a bitch, that's how.

Sure, it's just one click to make it go away but that's another 40 clicks
and I'm a busier-than-ever man with more-shit-than-ever to get to.

And why does Explorer always have to open on My Documents?
Why can't it open on the Bartcop folder where I last left it?

All those re-tools, all the new versions of Windows and they can't fix their mistakes?
It's like they think it's their job to bother the user.
 

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Wow, did you see that House last night?
They promised us a shocker - and they weren't kidding.


Quotes

"I’d have to see what the circumstances are...." 
      -- Dick Cheney, asked on Face the Whore if he'd testify under oath,   Link
 

 Translation:
"Fuck no, I'm too old to do time for perjury."

 

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Peruse our Links page



De-basing Torture

 Link

 Excerpt:
The argument against torture is slipping away from us. In fact, I'm getting the sinking feeling that it's over. 
What was once taboo is now publicly acknowledged as completely acceptable by many people. Indeed, 
disapproval of torture is now being characterized as a strictly partisan issue, like welfare reform or taxes...
 
We are in big trouble when torture becomes just another political football. It's the kind of thing that turns 
powerful empires into pariah nations. Why anyone thinks it's good for America for the world to perceive us 
as violent, pants wetting, panic artists who could start WWIII at the least sign of threat is beyond me.
 

I agree - the torture argument is slipping away.
Most Rethugs and half the media are openly pro-turture.
"We had to torture him to death - what if he knew something?" isn't how things are supposed to be.

Did you ever see that Star Trek Next Generation where the timeline got screwed up and the Federation 
had been at war for multiple generations?  And Whoopie Goldberg played a different kind of being 
who just knew things wereen't supposed to be the way they were.

That's what Bush & Cheney did to America.
 

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Subject: Carrie Prejean vs Paris Hilton

Bart,

Sometimes I don’t understand.  Carrie Prejean is a beauty contest contestant.  
She said what she thinks, as inarticulate as that may have been.  She’s utterly insignificant.  
Why are you, a defender of Paris Hilton, piling on?  The stupid kid didn’t do anything wrong.  
She spoke her mind.  Fine, you disagree with her beliefs, but that’s not supposed to be a reason 
to demand that she be ridiculed and demeaned, to wallow in schaedenfreud as she’s stripped of 
the only accomplishment she’s ever likely to attain.  

Leave her be.  
She’s an unarmed opponent. 
 PeYo
 

Carrie Prejean is a "role model" for bigots, racists and cave people.
The bigots are losing this war - kids don't hate gays, and why shouldn't 
I take issue with someone who's on the backwards side of politics?
It's kinda what we do here at  bartcop.com


When did Paris ever run an anti-civil rights campaign?

...and why would a dude object to a picture of a topless beauty queen?
 

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Got an iPhone?

What are your favorite three applications?
 

 Subject: 3 favorite iphone apps

1. Remote - Allows me to control iTunes on the laptop that is
                    connected to my stereo from anywhere in the house!
                    Change songs, adjust volume, etc. Amaze your friends!

2. Zynga Live Poker - Like Full Tilt but on the phone - No money, just  fun.

3. iheartradio - Stations from all over the country streaming live. 
 Chris W
 
 

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Star Trek Movie Gets Even Bigger

No spoilers - go ahead and read

 Link

 Excerpt:
A bigger-than-expected Sunday box office delivered Star Trek a $75.2 million opening weekend. 
That gross is nearly $3 million greater than the weekend estimate of $72.5 million.

The retooled Trek's four-day, Thursday-Sunday haul now stands at $79.2 million.
 

Well ...Duh!

We saw the 10:30 Sunday morning showing and I get home to read the film made $72M for the weekend?
How did they know how many people would see the film Sunday?   They fixed their stupid mistake.

BTW, great movie.

They could've shortened the early parts some - we didn't need to spend all that time with Spock and Kirk 
as children, but - maybe that's why the film has such an emotional payoff as the minutes tick by.

I wasn't Dole-at-Nixon's-funeral about it, but we've grown close to these characters over 40 years and it 
was emotionally satisfying to see them meet for the first time and get to know each other, stuff like that. 
It was so good, we plan to see it in the theater again and it's been forever since we did that.

How good was it?
It reminded me of Raiders of the Lost Ark - it was that good.

I totally bought the new Kirk and the new Spock.
The Bones was good, as was the Scotty - none of them were disappointing - and the best news?
Since this one made so much, they'll be at least two more Star Trek movies and I like that.
 

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Oklahoma wants out, too

 Link  (Turn down your speakers, I hate talky links)

 Excerpt:
Although Democratic Gov. Brad Henry vetoed similar legislation 10 days earlier, 
Rethug House members Monday again approved a resolution claiming Oklahoma’s sovereignty. 

Unlike House Joint Resolution 1003, House Concurrent Resolution 1028 does not need the governor’s approval.
The House passed the measure 73-22. It now goes to the Senate.

"We’re going to get it done one way or the other,” said the resolutions’ author, Rep. Charles Key, (R-Handjob). 
"I think our governor is out of step.”
 

Yeah, our governor is so crazy he wants to remain an American.
Geez, do they get any crazier than these Okie bastards?
 

The Okie Handjob Manifesto

An update from Oklahoma .
 
The state law passed today, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments 
on the front entrance to the state capitol.  The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said  it would be a mistake. 
Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values! Guess what..........We did it anyway.

If you were a real conservative, you wouldn't want the government to choose your religion for you.
If you were a real Christian, you'd want to chose your own religion, Dumbass!
 
We recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from, 
unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen.  They all scattered. Hope we didn't send any of 
them to your state.  This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said  it would be a mistake. 
Guess what..........we did it anyway.

Actually, they did worse than that.
They made it a felony to hire an "illegal," as if that comes stamped on one's foot.
They made it a felony to give a ride to an "illegal."
They made it a felony to allow an "illegal" to stay at your home.
Hell, these days, you have to cut your own lawn.

Yesterday we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, 
for criminal investigative  purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. Guess what........We  did it anyway.

Yeah, who cares what the US Constitution says?
We're Okies, we're as dumb as they come and proud as Porter peaches about it.
 
Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. 
That,  for your information, makes Oklahoma and Texas the only states to do so. Guess what.........More states are likely to follow.  
Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, both Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas,  West Virginia, just to name a few. 
Should Mississippi act, so will Florida Save your confederate money,  it appears the South is about to  rise up once again.

Yep, they can't wait to hang them some Black people.
How'd them darkies get here, anyway?
Oh, yeah - that's right.
We kidnapped them and forced them onto ships.
 
The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. 

Of course, they can't name these "bold steps" because that didn't happen.

Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles.  
I'm sure that was a set back for the Kennedy's and Ms Pelosi. Guess what..........We did it anyway.

Yep, we're Okies, as dumb as they come and damn proud of it.
 
By the way, Obama does not like any of this. Guess what....who cares...were doing it anyway.

Of course - he's half darkie - who cares what some darkie thinks?
 

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 Subject: Storming the Bastille

Yes, you can prosecute the previous administration.  The late Allan Sherman said it very well…

Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789.
He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth.
He was worse than Louis the Fourteenth.
He was worse than Louis the Thirteenth.
He was the worst since Louis the First.

You went the wrong way, Old King Louie.
You made the population cry.
'Cause all you did was sit and pet
With Marie Antoinette
In your place at Versailles.

If you had been a nicer king,
We wouldn't do a thing,
But you were bad, you must admit.
We're gonna take you and the Queen
Down to the guillotine,
And shorten you a little bit.
 

Thanks to Dean
 

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Full Tilt Poker


  Click  to  Get  Started

If you sign up, tell them  bartcop  sent you.
They'll give us both some extra chips.
 

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Click  to  Order


Observation

When Obama reveals his choice for the next Supreme Court justice,
if the talk radio whores and cable Nazi's don't say,
"This is the worst pick Obama could've possibly made,"

...I'm probably going to be a little bit angry with him.   

Seriously, I think he should go Jane Fonda, then Bartcop, then Mike Malloy.
 

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 Subject: Re: Michael Steel Lawn jockey

You kill me, Bart. Hilarious (guilty laughter).
 Rick 
 

I was hoping you were writing to complain :)
 

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Marty's Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!



Need to take a sudden trip?

 Here's the deal:


World Series of Poker

If you intend to play in the May 30th Event, 
The Rio wants your money by this coming Friday
 

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 Subject: How the Dems could screw this whole thing up

Bart, here's my top 5 reasons how the Democrats might blow it. 
 
5. Declare Nancy Pelosi 'speaker for life'.
4. Send a few Dem senators over to the Repub side just to 'even things out'.
3. Remind everyone that Michelle Bachman is still a Congresswoman and that her opinions count too.
2. Admit that they were briefed in 2003 but believed Cheney when he told them that waterboarding was a beach sport.
1. Help promote Harry Reid's upocoming autobiography "Not All Humans are Vertebrates".
 
Frank
 

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They read it in Arches, Utah

They read it in Invercargill, New Zealand 

They read it in Carville, Louisiana

  Want to sell stuff everywhere?
 

 Why sell just to America when you can sell to the whole world?
 

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Bartcop Radio

First the roofers showed up to fix the leak in my office.
Then the thunderstorms made them leave - but then the lights went out.

I WILL do a radio show this week.



Subject: Donation

Bart, sorry I couldn't donate lately - money troubles,
 Bronte in Australia
 

Bronte, I appreciate every donation that comes my way.
 

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Sarah Michelle Gellar - No Buffy Movie?
Why would all involved turn down all that money?

 

 Link

 Check out hundreds of  Sarah Michelle Gellar  pictures  at BC Hotties


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