It's not a joke - it will disrupt page production
so I need to solve this right away.
Crazy Daredevil Dax has discovered a way to get
top ofthe kitchen cabinets.
Last night he jumped on the kitchen counter and
from there, he jumped another five feet to get on top of the cabinets and that's eight
feet above the hardwood floor.
Mrs. Bart let out the most blood-curdling scream
I'd ever heard from her.
I'd pay big money to not ever hear that scream
Watching the kitty playing at eight feet was
like watching toddlers playing on the highway.
(Not our kitchen)
When this happened, she stayed in the kitchen to attempt to catch him
if/when he fell
while I ran to the garage to get the ladder. Dax has never seen
the ladder so it scared him
and he panicked and jumped down to the hardwood floor.
He didn't break anything - probably - but he hit the ground so hard
(He's never been that high before)
his chest hit the ground and we were worried about broken ribs.
But minutes later, he was attacking
his brother Rusty so we figure he's OK.
But we know him - he gets off on danger and he's not going to forget
that adrenaline rush so we
gotta figure a way to prevent him from jumping that high - got any
One idea I had was to build a lip or a wooden ledge out from the wall
on top of the cabinets.
That would require him to jump up 5 feet and backwards, which
he'd probably try.
Mrs. Bart remembered an e-mail from a lady with a polydatyl cat who
climbed the walls.
If you wrote that e-mail and have any ideas, could you send me an e-mail
Right now they're both locked in a bedroom driving all four of us crazy
and Mrs Bart is a wreck.
I need help ASAP.
Wait, I just had an idea: We hire a carpenter to cut off the crowns at the top of the cabinets.
Then we have him slice in maybe 15 inches of wood and then put the
crown back on.
Sure, that'll work - just like my penis extension surgery.
Excerpt: The coverage of the latest wave of public-opinion
polls has focused mostly on Obama's ostensible political weaknesses.
But the more important story may be the increased
marginalization of his Republican opposition.
Three major polls tell the same story: Of a Republican
party that is widely disliked and mistrusted -- and that is becoming
essentially irrelevant. Notably, on the single
most polarizing aspect (the "public option") of the biggest political
issue of the
moment (Obama's proposed health-care overhaul),
the public overwhelmingly supports Obama's position.
Republicans have essentially no power in the House.
And even in the Senate, their ability to effectively block Obama
is minimal without the cooperation of a handful
of unreliable center-right Democrats.
In fact, the only real power Republicans have
left is granted to them by a media culture that consistently clamors
for bipartisan solutions, even as one of the
parties increasingly represents a shrunken minority of hardened extremists.
I'm so old, I remember when the Washington Post brought down a crooked
But lately, they've changed 180 degrees, hounding Clinton day after
day, week after week,
month after month and year after year - and all he was guilty of was
a little hot tongue sex.
When the Bush bastards stole power, they knew they could count
on the bastards at the WaHoPo,
along with the sell-out bastards and bitches at the New York Whore
Times, to cover up
the very real global crimes of those crooked Bush sons of bitches.
They used to fight crooks - these days they enable them.
Excerpt: In a conversation the other day with a White
House official, I heard something I'd never expected
from an employee of Barack Obama's. "I wish,"
he said, "George Bush would speak up a little more."
That's fifty miles away from "I
wish Bush was back." Nobody - even the Republicans - wants
that murdering loser back.
In the five months since he left, Bush has immersed
himself in his memoir. He has stayed home in Texas
and rarely spoken publicly. The result has been
that he has largely disappeared from the news and
-- the point the Obama aide was making -- pretty
much has been forgotten.
Bush's silence has made it harder for Obama to
keep the public focused on Bush as being responsible
for our present difficulties -- the economy,
the wars, the scandals of Guantanamo and the detainee program.
David, why the misleading title?
When I saw that, I thought, "Who is fool enough
to want the Worst President Ever back?"
And it turns out the answer is nobody - it was
just Broder being a whore again.
"We don't know yet how this thing is going
to play out. I know everybody here is on a 24-hour
news cycle. I'm not. OK?"
-- Obama, slapping that NBC prick Chuck Todd for his insistent questioning
about why he wouldn't "spell out the consequences"
for the Iranian government, Link
When a Democrat is in office, it's the job of the whore press
to badger him constantly.
When a crooked, never-elected Rethug is in office, it's the job
of the whore press
to roll over so the Fascist Neocon can scratch their I'm-such-a-whore
I enjoyed seeing Obama semi-snap at a nutball media whore.
Excerpt: I haven't been able to shake the image of Neda
Agha-Soltan, dying, live, on a cellphone video Saturday.
The way her eyes follow the camera -- seeming
to demand that we do something -- has haunted me ever since.
I'm not the only one: Neda is a hero worldwide,
a top search term on Google, a trending topic on Twitter.
I mostly agree with Kate Harding that over-identifying
with Neda is silly -- we are not Neda, and mourning her
isn't exactly bringing down the Iranian government
-- but she's catalyzing a crucial global reaction nonetheless.
Even the late news that Neda herself wasn't terribly
political, just a philosophy student who loved to sing,
doesn't blunt her impact. Women are banned from
public singing in Iran.
Paradoxically, I want the world to stand up for
Neda -- and stand with all the other Iranians, especially the
Iranian women, fighting and dying for freedom
this week. Amid the din of braying Republicans, which has
somehow become as big a story as the Iranian
uprising itself, no one seems to be listening to Obama.
"Narrow minded, book banning, truth censoring,
mean spirited; ungenerous, envious, intolerant, afraid; chicken, bullying; trivially moral, falsely
patriotic; family cheapening, flag cheapening, God cheapening; the common man, shallow, small, sanctimonious."
-- Henry Fairlie, predicting the present-day troubles of the Fascist dogs
at the 1980 Republican convention, Link
Excerpt: A confidential record of a meeting between Bush
and Blair before the invasion of Iraq, outlining their intention
to go to war without a second United Nations
resolution, will be an explosive issue for the official inquiry into
the UK's role in toppling Saddam Hussein.
The memo, written on 31 January 2003, almost two
months before the invasion and seen by the Observer,
confirms that as the two men became increasingly
aware UN inspectors would fail to find WMDs they had to
contemplate alternative scenarios that might
trigger a second resolution legitimising military action.
Bush told Blair the US had drawn up a provocative
plan "to fly U2 aircraft painted in UN colours over Iraq
with fighter cover". If Saddam fired at
the planes this would put the Iraqi leader in breach of UN resolutions.
Bush confirmed even without a second resolution,
the US was prepared to invade Iran.
The memo said Blair told Bush he was "solidly
with the president".
So - we should feel lucky that Bush only started two wars?
And it's more proof that Blair really was Bush's poodle.
Subject: Republicans becoming
more sexually conservative
In the early 1990s it was rare to hear about a
Republican sex scandal. But after the Clinton affair
was exposed Republicans started being caught
cheating on their wives, fathering children out of wedlock,
and caught with prostitutes (Livingston, Gingrich).
Even Republican women like Helen Chenoweth were getting caught.
By 2006 Republicans had moved on to homosexual
encounters in airport restrooms (Craig) and going
after male congressional pages (Foley). Things
were getting out of control. If the trend continued people
would have had to tie up their dogs when Republicans
Then Senator Vitter reversed the trend moving
back from male prostitutes to female prostitutes, and now Senator Ensign,
a Promise Keeper, was having an affair with a
married female staffer. Is this a move back to traditional family values?
I think so. Republicans might be disturbed but
Senators Ensign's affair but I think the Republicans are moving back
to their traditional values. If the Republicans
can get Vitter and Ensign to resign they can show their Christian
conservative base that they are serious.
Whether it's 14 grams or 100 grams, someone still
has to grow, package, transport and deliver the stuff.
The trafficking incentive remains, with all its
downside. A better solution is to legalize possession of one or two
growing or curing plants per household, which
is a lot of pot.
But if everyone who smokes can grow a year's worth,
why pay exorbitant prices?
And why grow a hundred plants or smuggle poundage
at risk of prison if everyone
who wants some already has a plant. The market
Those too lazy or inept to grow would have plenty
of friends with an oversupply.
The excess would be more than you could give
away, but you would have all you want for personal use.
Hobby growing and information sharing would result
in primo supply. It would be like growing tomatoes.
Anyone can do it. Trafficking problem solved.
Paul in NC
The military budget doesn't need to be cut, it
just needs to be spend differently. For the cost of let's say one aircraft carrier,
we could have a massive airdrop, not of bombs, but of free iPhones and mini laptops and wifi
for every citizen of Iran, and what the hell, North Korea.
Invite them to experience the freedom of the
internet. Win their souls and minds. Make the foreign governments look pretty bad
when they complain about a massive giveaway that every citizen will applaud. Michael Dare
Excerpt: One reporter asked if the White House was considering
beaming broadband capability into Iran via satellite so the
opposition forces would be able to communicate
with themselves and the outside world. Gibbs said he didn't know
such a thing was possible. (Is it?) But he said
he would check on the technological feasibility and get back with an answer.
That caused some head-scratching in the press
room. If the United States could do that and was planning on doing so,
wouldn't this be one of those intelligence matters
that Gibbs won't discuss? But maybe some telecom entrepreneur or
Silicon Valley whiz-kids can make this happen.
The Google guys? The Twitter people? XM Radio?
This is the sort of covert action that could
be worth outsourcing—with the project manager taking full credit.
Think of the endorsement possibilities: the Iranian
Revolution...Brought to You by DIRECTV.
Excerpt: On Tuesday, sources said that a state vehicle
is missing and was tracked down,
not to the Appalachian Trail, but to the Hartsfield-Jackson
Airport in Atlanta.
Sources told Robertson that a federal agent spotted
Sanford in the airport boarding a plane.
Robertson was told that the governor was not
accompanied by security detail.
Sanford has been out of reach for more than four
days, including Father's Day.
Sawyer has emphasized that the governor was hiking
on the Appalachian Trail
and that it wasn't something the staff or Jenny
Sanford were concerned about.
Yep, this story is as phony as they come.
CNN had video of the governor's SUV and they saw a sleeping back in
Who goes hiking in the woods for 4 days without a sleeping bag?
Obviously, he packed the sleeping bag to make it look like he was going
If I was cheating on Mrs Bart (Na ga da) saying I was going to play
pool but then she
discovered that I left my cue at home, she'd have to wonder where I
So the Gov's wife is either extra-stupid or she's OK with whatever his
secret trip is about.
The thing about the 100 gram limit is that it
allows some trafficking of marijuana.
This might sound bad, but it's actually good.
Say you want to go on a two week camping trip
with three buddies?
100 grams sounds right if you've got the kind
of friends I have.
Also, people cook with it and use much more than
they would if they smoked it.
Also, home-bound people depend on timely shipments
of medical marijuana.
Making the limit too low would force these patients
to remain criminals or
do without until theie "marijuana trafficker"
brings them the next oz.
Medical Marijuana Barbie
Subject: when pot is legal...
….. it is sold by the gram.
I agree with you, asking for 100 gram limit is
almost assuring it won’t pass.
Here in Holland where pot is legal, you’re only
allowed to possess about five grams at a time.
And at concerts where they have drug controls,
they will confiscate those, too, despite that pot
is legal here they do include it in drug sweeps.
Anyway. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Holland
but the legal trade here is as follows:
you go to the Koffieshop and can select from
a variety of hash and weed for 7-15 euros per gram,
and you’re allowed to purchase up to 50 euros
worth. Either you get your stuff in pre-packaged gram
packets, or they weigh off the amount of your
order in one larger baggy. You can also order pre-rolled
joints, weed, hash, or a mix (all made with tobacco),
And you can’t smoke it in public here, in fact
this is one of the problems the Koffieshops have with the
European no-smoking ordinances that have been
implemented since last year. For they prohibit inside
smoking, whereas you’re not allowed to smoke
joints anywhere but in your own home and in a koffieshop.
To prohibit smoking in Koffieshops is like prohibiting
chewing in a Restaurant, it’s just ludicrous.
Many Koffieshops get around it by constructing
a closed-off, separate smoking area.
In any case, I sure hope America gets a more sane
drug policy, but I know that it’s a police state
and that the police are making far too much money
off the war on drugs, and have a ready excuse
to hassle blacks and other minorities, so they
will never give it up.
Holland's mistake was to mix tobacco - a deadly drug - with less harmful
pot and hash.
Nobody dies from second-hand pot smoke.
Excerpt: The protesters admire our freedom, but they are
appalled--and insulted--by our neocolonialist condescension
over the past 50 years. Many Iranians consider
Ahmadinejad the George W. Bush of Iran--a crude, unsophisticated
demagogue, who puts a strong Potemkin face to
the world without very much knowledge of what the rest of the
world is about. This was an anology [sic] that
came up in interview after interview, with reformers and conservatives
McCain--and his cohorts--are trying to score
political points against the President in the midst of an international
Certainly, Bush the Younger, McCain and the rest
of that crowd have absolutely no idea who the Iranian people are.
The are not Hungarians in 1956. They do not believe
they live in an Evil Empire. They still support their revolution.
They shout "Allahu Akbar" in the streets, which
was the rallying cry of 1979. They are proud of their nuclear program,
even if many have doubts about the efficacy of
weaponizing the enriched uraniam that is being produced. They want
greater freedom, to be sure. And they believe
that the Khamenei-Ahmadinejad forces--and the militarized regime they
have empowered, the millions of basiji and revolutionary
guards--is a profound perversion of that revolution. They are right.
They deserve our prayers and support. But they
don't need grandstanding from an American President, and they certainly
don't need histrionics from blustery old John
I have yet to meet an Iranian who does not believe
that the United States gave poison gas to Saddam during the Iran-Iraq war,
gas which injured thousands upon thousands of
Iranian men, who still live, incapacitated, in the shadows of that society.
The "United States" didn't give Saddam poison gas to maim Iranians
- Reagan and the Bush bastards did that.
Joe said on the talk shows is EVERY protester over there knows Obama
extended his hand in friendship
to the Muslim world - unlike the idiot cowboy who got Iran and North
Korea in the nukuler arms business.
We're stucking being the inhuman scum who gave Saddam the poison gas.
Too bad we can't get a Democrat to list the damn facts.
Sidebar: When I attack the Dems that way, I'm not talking about Obama.
As president, there are things Obama can't say.
But every Democrat who fails to list the fact is a fool and a coward.
If they weren't such sacless asses, we'd be in our 14th year of universal
But no, the Dems sided with the GOP, they lost congress and killed
Excerpt: The sergeant at arms appeared outside the Manhattan
federal court. “Plaintiff?” he called out.
“Plaintiff? I guess the plaintiff isn't here?”
he asked. The lawyers exchanged sideways glances.
“Surprised?” one of them quipped. After all,
the plaintiff is none other than the world's most famous recluse, J.D.
Salinger filed suit against an unknown Swedish
writer named Fredrik Colting, seeking to permanently bar publication
in the United States of 60 Years Later:
Coming Through the Rye, a work of fiction that Salinger's lawyers
an “unauthorized sequel” to Salinger's most famous
work, The Catcher in the Rye. The case, replete with ironic twists
as well as potentially precedent-setting questions,
such as how much control authors can claim over characters they create,
has captivated the literary world.
Ironically, in what could be the 90-year-old Salinger's
last stand, the copyright questions at the heart of this case could
at last compel the reclusive author to speak.
“The broad discovery rules would normally allow the defense to question
Salinger on a number of relevant issues,” Paul
LiCalsi explained, including Salinger's “past actions and preferences about
the exploitation of The Catcher in the Rye.”
If Salinger refuses to answer the defense's questions, LiCalsi notes, the
can impose sanctions and even dismiss the case.
Thus, filing suit against Colting may have put Salinger's desire for privacy
on a collision course with his desire to protect
Here's another of these endless requests for
cash from the democrats:
In politics, when your
opponent attacks your only option is to respond with overwhelming force. With the likes of the
"REAL R N C" -- Rush, Newt and Cheney and the rest of the right-wing
fringe rooting for President
Obama to fail, the world is watching to see how we respond.
My friends at that DCCC
have set a goal of raising one million dollars by June 30th. Fight back with a matching
What pisses me off is that they don't need a
dime to fight back. All they need to do is to open their mouths and list
as you so often state. Instead, they keep asking
for money while Rush, Newt and Cheney hog the microphone.
I'd like to see them do some fighting back before
I send them any money. (looks like my bank account is safe)
-- Bruce Yurgil
I dropped a major bomb yesterday - nobody has mentioned it.
But I might've dodged another bullet. The idiot doctors
are still trying
to figure it out so I'm going to celebrate while the news is
Our motto for
this year is - "No Anti-Bush Site Left Behind".
So - if you have an anti-bush site and you are choking on hosting
fees or dealing with threats - let us know and we'll help keep you online.
have that strongest server side spam filtering on the planet.
Check out Marx
Mail for info on how you can have a Spam
Free Email Account.
What is the bonus?
It's a tag-team ambush by Howard Stern and Robin.
One of their employees got a word wrong - traction -
and they jumped on him and tortured him for twelve minutes
I don't know of any other comic or comic team that could've pulled
It was live, it was spontaneous and it was amazing.
If you know someone who says Stern has no talent - play this for them.
It's the hardest I've laughed this year - I hope you like it.
thanks to yb for the photo
"I had my Bond experience with the band and
it was pretty fantastic, but I’m a bit too old to be a Bond girl. There’s a few other acting roles being talked
about, but, for the moment, I’m just playing it by ear. Music-wise, I’m beginning to get the itch again because
for a while I just didn’t have the desire to sing, but now I’m beginning to get it back and hopefully I’ll get it together
fairly soon." -- Shirley
favorite Shirley picture?
the picture, don't send a description of the picture.)