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 Thursday,  January 14, 2010  Vol 2454 - Haiti

Quote of the Day

"Atheists understand how stuff like this 
  happens.  No loving, compassionate God 
  would allow a tragedy like Haiti to happen."
      -- Mario Piperni,   Link


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Haiti, screwed pre-earthquake HOT
Arrow Pat Robertson: Haiti cursed 
Arrow Bush, Big Dog to help Haiti 
Arrow Hollywood Hijacks the Internet HOT
Arrow Palin, Fox, End of the World 
Arrow Train doctor appointment HOT
Arrow How to help Haiti
Arrow Katherine Heigl returns 


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"Oh my God, oh my God, ...I can't begin to tell you..."
     -- some NBC reporter from Haiti

 Have we ever seen anything this bad?

 I watched NBC news last night and I cried.
 Haiti was so totally fucked - and then the earthquake hit.

 Yesterday's issue was called "Mudcakes" because someone on TV said mothers 
 in Haiti sometimes feed their children f-ing mud so they'll have something in their stomachs.

 What's it like to not have drinking water?  Or food?  Or a roof over your head?
 Haiti looks like Hiroshima and that's no exaggeration.

 It's hard to imagine how bad things are there, but comparing it to 9-11,
 imagine every building in Manhattan being leveled and you have a place to start.

 There were 2,000,000 people in Port-au-Prince when the quake hit.
 That's 2,000,000 wounded people with no water, no electricity, no hospitals, no nothing..

 The president of Haiti is homeless.

 Actually, the 2,000,000 people are homeless because their homes, if they're still standing,
 can't handle the aftershocks so the people are just standing outside or walking around like zombies.

 Things are so bad, FOX News was acting like a news organization yesterday afternoon.
 There was no "screw that nigger in the White House" yesterday, it was all serious news.

 Two million people got fucked - some of them to death - at the same time.
 Has that ever happened before?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Obama asks Bush, Big Dog to help Haiti
 Time for weenies to scream at Clinton for selling out


George W. Bush will join Bill Clinton to help lead the US relief effort in response to the 
earthquake that devastated Haiti, an official close to Bush said Thursday.

Can we give Clinton a break this one time?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Pat Robertson: Haiti cursed
 He calls the quake "a possible blessing"


TV handjob and religio-fraud Pat Robertson made some unusual observations about the Haiti earthquake
on his CBN newscast Wednesday, calling the quake a possible blessing and saying the Haitian people are cursed.

As the Haitian PM said "well over" 100,000 people may have died in the national disaster, Robertson said
that the country has been "cursed by one thing after another" since they "swore a pact to the devil."

So, God sent that earthquake to kill 100,000 or more super-poor people?

What happened to "Freedom is God's gift to everyone?"

Or was that just some bullshit to sell Bush's war?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: bart,  kurt warner is a crazy insane christian


Since I was born and grew up in St. Louis,  off of I farty far. 

If you're not from St Louis, you might not get that joke.
In St Louis, a cowboy rides a harse.

Naturally there has always been a soft spot in my heart for the "Cardiac Cardinals" 
(remember that phrase?).  But Kurt Warner is batshit crazy and I can't even stand
to watch the Cardinals anymore.  How did Busch let them out of St. Louis anyway? 

Worse, how did Budweiser sell the baseball Cardinals?
The Cardinals were maybe 1-2 % of Budweiser's revenue and they sold them to make money.
What's more American than having a beer at a baseball game?

When I was a kid, when a Cardinal hit a home run, the neon Budweiser Eagle on the scoreboard
would come to life and flap his wings - that is a memory seared into my brain, but now it's gone
probably because some asshole lawyer figured that money could be better spent elsewhere. 

Cardinal Baseball and Rams?   Anyway check out Warner's bio...he is a batshit crazy 
Christian and gives all credit for the Rams superbowl win to Jesus. 
I'm sure the rest of the team was thrilled about that statement.
 Jim N

I know he's a "man of faith," but he proves a football theory of mine.

Joe Montana showed us 20 years ago how to win football games.
You do it with 5-10 yard passes. 
They are unstoppable, but football coaches are too stupid to remember that.

If the defender gets too close, the receiver can get behind him and gets an easy touchdown.
So the defender has to back off and that opens the door to the 5-10 yard pass.
It happens too quickly to defend, but football coaches are too stupid to remember that.

Even the worst quarterbacks in the NFL can throw a 5-10 yard pass, but they chose not to.
But Warner does it and that just might win another Superbowl for Arizona.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"The Senate is just a pain in the ass to everybody in the world as far as I can tell. I’m so angry 
  that I just wish from now on that we’d just find out what it is that Lieberman and Nelson will let us have. 
  But we’re not giving up on anything in the House. We keep hearing them squeal like pigs in the Senate 
  that they had a tough time getting to 60. Well, it wasn’t particularly a picnic for us to get to 218. 
  Generally speaking, the Senate kabuki dance has lost its magic on those of us in the House." 
      -- Charlie Rangel,   Link

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Hollywood Hijacks the Internet


Last fall, the Federal Communications Commission proposed rules for "Net Neutrality" -- a set of 
regulations intended to help innovation and free speech continue to thrive on the Internet.

But is the FCC's version of Net Neutrality the real deal? Or is it a fake?

Buried in the FCC's rules is a deeply problematic loophole. Open Internet principles, the FCC writes, 
"do not...apply to activities such as the unlawful distribution of copyrighted works."

For years, the entertainment industry has used that innocent-sounding phrase -- "unlawful distribution 
of copyrighted works" -- to pressure Internet service providers around the world to act as copyright cops
-- to surveil the Internet for supposed copyright violations, and then censor or punish the accused users.

From the beginning, a central goal of the Net Neutrality movement has been to prevent corporations from 
interfering with the Internet in this way -- so why does the FCC's version of Net Neutrality specifically allow them to do so?

Go to the Real Net Neutrality petition to tell the FCC that if it wants to police the Internet, it first needs to
demonstrate that it can protect Internet users and innovators by standing up to powerful industry lobbyists. 
Sign your name to demand that the copyright enforcement loophole be removed:

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


Help  survive!


 OR send a 'love' check to
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State Marijuana Penalties


"The things you heard me say about George Bush? You never heard me apologize 
  about any of them. Because he was. What was I supposed to say? I called him 
  a liar twice. Because he lied to me twice.w
      -- Harry Reid, who holds the record for most apologies,      Link

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Scam Alert 

I just got scammed outta $25! 

Bought Tiger Woods DVD  "My favorite 18 holes"...
Turns out it was about golf.  Damn waste of money.
Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Imaginative New Novel VIVA LA EVOLUCION
Takes on the Stupidity Crisis in America.

Tap water’s 60,000 contaminants will soon turn citizens into apes.

Click for more or to Order

Subject: racism?

Bart, I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the guy who is Hispanic and Polish calling himself a "Taco Polacko."

I just wonder what would they call me?
I'm Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Irish, German and Russian.
I guess that means I'm a "Heinz 57" all-American mutt.

One disadvantage: I keep invading myself. <grin>

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Shopping online?

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and they'll send
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Use this link to Order

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"There is an obvious disconnect between President Obama and the White House, what they are 
  doing to our economy and what they are doing in terms of not allowing Americans to feel as safe as we had felt." 
     - Sarah Palin on her first day at FOX, claiming Bush kept us safe,    Link


  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Sarah Palin


You use and example from the book Game Change to illustrate how stupid Sarah Palin is,
yet you try to discredit the SAME SOURCE when it recounts Clinton's racist comments.

 ha ha

Were you hoping to catch Ol' Bart making a mistake?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"Hmmm, 8 years of Clinton, budget surplus, economy functioning, debt clock retired. 
  8 years of Bush, massive deficit, economy busted, debt clock back. So just who went on the drunken spending spree?"
     - Hoodathunk   Link

 Many Democrats hated the Clinton years.


 Because we're Democrats who can't handle winning.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Dall-ass

Hey, just looking forward to the day when Tex-ass secedes from the union
and the Cowboys aren't America's Team anymore.

I can dream, can't I?
 Wayne in Dayton

If Texas wants to leave, why should we try and stop them?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Mike Malloy Live


"There’s more facts and useful information in my 
  cat’s regurgitated fur-balls than what Sarah Palin spews."
     -- DNFP,     Link

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Haiti

Dear Church of Reality members,

As you know the country of Haiti experienced a huge earthquake and massive devastation. 
These are our fellow human beings and the Red Cross has a ew easy way to chip in a little money 
to help these people out.  Send a text message to 90999 with the message being the word "Haiti" 
and that will donate $10 to the Red Cross that will be on your phone bill. 

If you do this and tell some friends we might be able to raise $10,000 to $20,000 or so. 
Or if any of you have better ways to help you should do so.

Marc Perkel
Church of Reality

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Marty's has new stuff every day
on her tons-of-fun Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.


Click on the E!

Palin, Fox, and the End of the World


Do you want to understand Sarah Palin's attraction to the born-again Republican/Fox crowd? 
Then you have to "get" the apocalyptic fantasy world they live in. I know. It's where I once lived.

Palin comes from that world of hysterical paranoid delusion. It's her attraction to the people who like her. 
God has "raised her up for such a time as this" they believe. It is why Fox "News" just hired her as another 
one of their fair and balanced commentators.

Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye's Left Behind series of sixteen novels (so far!) represents everything 
that is most deranged about Palin's religion, and understanding why those books are popular is the key
to "getting" the Palin Fox "News" deal...

The Left Behind novels represent the fundamentalist end times view that Palin buys into. 

If you think Palin's fans are nuts; they are. If you think the tea baggers are odd; they are. 
The theology of the "End" is behind both.

I said it years ago: Religious insanity is America's biggest problem.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

HAITI QUAKE - How to help

Subject: Re: Gop deserves reward?

Concerning the Coakley-Brown Senate race in Massachusetts,

It sure would be nice if Obama got down to Boston or Worcester this weekend 
to campaign and help keep his “Old Buddy” Ted’s seat in Democratic hands!

I think the real question here is if Obama understands, or worse, even cares. 
Are 41 Puggish, veggie-headed “plants” are Obama’s way of offering more “bipartisanship”? 
 John C

Odds are we'll win that race, but if we don't, the Dems will lose their 60 senator advantage,
not that they've been able to use it because bastards like Kissyface and Nelson ruined it for everyone.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

WE need your vote.

We ended up with 13 slogans.
Are any of these good enough to get you to buy a shirt?

We are in crisis mode - gotta get something going financially
or will soon become a thing of the past.

The slogans are:

1. "Voting is a public option Mr. President."

2. "Yes, he's GUTLESS.  Get OVER it!"

3. (in TGI Fridays font)   "G.F.Y. Cheney's"

4. "Born in the USA"

5. "He's a Million Times Better then McCain"

6. "Maybe Bart was right"

7. "You make policy with the Obama you've got,
not the Obama you want. "

8. "I Got Handed a Pile of Shit"

 "Now Eat It"

9.  George Bush = Bigots for Obama

10. Yes he Can, but he acts
like he doesn't want to.

11.  Not King, Just President

12. Second Worst President Ever.

13. Yes, he’s just an ordinary politician

 Get over it!

Time to vote
because somebody's going to win that autographed DVD!

Vote Here

If YOU win the slogan contest
I'll send you a brand new It Might Get Loud DVD

personally signed by Jimmy Page, Jack White and The Edge   Bartcop

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"Now, I want you to remember it took him three days - three days - to respond to the underwear bomber. 
Three days - and when he came out after those three days he was clearly irritated that he had to do it. 
He didn't want to do it. He comes out here in less than 24 hours to speak about Haiti...I don't have the 
whole press conference but I wonder did he apologize for America before acknowledging we are the 
only people on earth who can help them out down there in any significant way."
    -- the vulgar Pigboy,   Link

 That's another difference between Democrats and Rethugs.
 When Democrats heard the news, we asked, "How can we help?"
 When Robertson and Pigboy heard, they asked, "Who can we blame?"

"With thousands of people dead already and as the suffering continues in Haiti, 
  Limbaugh and his ilk only care about one thing: Destroying Obama."
    -- John Amato,   Link

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: United Negro College Fund

Since the term NEGRO is deemed so terribly racist and offensive, does The United Negro College Fund still exist? 
If so, what is it called these days? Is it also considered racist these days to use the term NEGRO SPIRITUALS 
in reference to traditional American songs in the "Negro Spiritual" genre? Using the term "Colored People" is 
considered to be repugnant and startlingly racist these days, too. What does the NAACP call itself now? Just wondering.

Reid should definitely step down...not because he's racist in any way, shape, or form...but because he is utterly WORTHLESS 
as our Majority Leader. He should step down because he's a spineless enabler who, as Majority Leader, pissed away EVERY
opportunity that has landed in our laps since the we took control of the House and Senate. Harry Reid should step down 
because he CAVED into the powerless and astoundingly unpopular Republicans EVERY step of the way. 
He defied the will of the people at every turn, and chose to make America WORSE instead of BETTER.

Hammer on, Bart!

 Gino R

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Dems screw up as usual

Bart...does it reallly matter if we lose the majority.....we are acting like a minority party right now
...and obama is acting like he is still senator and not a president....we have the 60 votes but cant get 
these dinos together to vote for anything the democrats stand for......let harry Reid lose....he is no good 
for our party is no loss.....yawn...frankly my dear...i don't give a damn.....anymore......

watching the so called i do 24.7 is like watching the school yard bully....
i.e. republicans ..beat the crap out of the skinny nerd...i.e. democrats.....
it goes on day after day...i need a life...

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Subject: Say it ain't so!

Bart, you published:

"Sodomy promotion is from Satan's Jews."
     -- sign held by a teabagging handjob on last night's Daily Show

BC plays clueless by opining:  " I did not know Satan had Jews."

I do not pretend to be clueless.

Seeing as the Bartster is professedly athiestic, well, I'm sure that you understand that  Satan, 
or God, or G_d, or Moloch, or Buddah, or the Flying Spagetti Monster etc-al can have as many 
of anything that they want ... or at least whatever their fantasy-infected minions declare.

But while Satan may not be available to the average atheist for the ad-hoc demonization of a(ny) 
particular group of people, it is a fact that Hitler had Jews!  And not just your run-of-the-mill, 
head-banging Wailing Wall brand of Jew either, but he had Nazi Party-whorshipping Jews who 
were adamantly loyal to the 3rd Reich.  In other words, they fought Allied soldiers to the death 
so that Hitler could remain their leader.  Perhaps as many as if not more than 150,000 Jews 
(and people of Jewish descendants) were gun-toting followers of Germany's Nazi regime.

Do you know where many (if not most) of those Nazi Jews (and their Nazi-adoring children) are today? 
Why, they're infectively expanding the war-crimes state of Zionland, while simultaniously committing 
vicious genocide and ethnic cleansing against Palestine's Historically native non-Jews.

Anyway, who knows ... last night, maybe you saw somebody who considered himself 
one of Satan's proud Jews (also known as Zionists) with that sign on the Daily Show 
who was just promoting the family business.

DanD, I'm glad I didn't say that.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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Katherine Heigl Returns to Grey's


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