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EXTRA: Benny the Rat's smoking gun

 Friday  April 9,  2010   Vol 2504 - Church of Serial Rapes 

Alaska by Alistair

Quote of the Day

"There are 13 year olds who are 
  under age and who are perfectly 
  in agreement with, and what’s more 
  WANTING IT, and if you are careless 
  they will even provoke you." 
     -- Spanish Bishop Bernando Alvarez
         on why it's OK to rape children,   Link

  A year from today, will there 
  still be a Church of Serial Rapes?


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Will Obama act like a man? HOT
Arrow Benny is the Perfect Pope HOT
Arrow Pope: 'Acceptable Levels' 
Arrow Stupak runs from Teabaggers 
Arrow Wis. DA Threatens Teachers HOT
Arrow Memphis Rapist Reassigned 
Arrow New Tiger Ad will Backfire 
Arrow Katie Holmes wears Uggs 



Mike Malloy Live


"If McCain wants to re-imagine the 2008 presidential campaign, fine. But if you are planning 
  to deny that you ever thought of yourself as a maverick, it would be better not to have subtitled 
  one of your memoirs 'The Education of an American Maverick.' ”
    -- Gail Collins,    Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Will Obama act like a man? 
 Justice Stevens to retire this summer

Already, the snarling dogs are DEMANDING that Obama appoint somebody THEY like.
In the past, Obama has bent over for them every time and I'm so tired of the surrenders.
His premier goal seems to be to get the snarling dogs to like him, which will never happen.
The sooner he understands that, the sooner he can become a great president.

Bush appointed the two most radical (and young) handjobs he could find.
When he did, the Dems ALL said, "He should get whoever he wants."

Now the shoe is on the oither foot and I expect Obama to dave in to their demands.
No matter who he appoints, the snarling dogs will say, "He's the most radical Stalinist in America,"
so why should Obama even try to make the sons of bitches happy?

Of course, the proper answer to their demands is,  "Go fuck yourself, 
I won the elecion and, just like Bush, I'll appoint whoever I f-ing want,"
but Obama's primary goal is to be liked by the snarling dogs.

How do you get into politics if your primary goal is to placate the snarling dogs?
Obama has shown no hesitation to piss off his base so expect to be disappointed.

These are the bastards Obama's trying to win over:

Why does Obama try to make the snarling dogs happy?   At our expense?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Benny the Rat is the Perfect Pope
  by Richard Dawkins


"Should the pope resign?"

No. As the College of Cardinals must have recognized when they elected him, he is perfectly - ideally
- qualified to lead the Roman Catholic Church. A leering old villain in a frock, who spent decades 
conspiring behind closed doors for the position he now holds; a man who believes he is infallible and 
acts the part; a man whose preaching of scientific falsehood is responsible for the deaths of countless 
AIDS victims in Africa; a man whose first instinct when his priests are caught with their pants down is
to cover up the scandal and damn the young victims to silence: in short, exactly the right man for the job.
He should not resign, moreover, because he is perfectly positioned to accelerate the downfall of the evil, 
corrupt organization whose character he fits like a glove, and of which he is the absolute and historically 
appropriate monarch.

No, Pope Ratzinger should not resign. He should remain in charge of the whole rotten edifice - the whole
profiteering, woman-fearing, guilt-gorging, truth-hating, child-raping institution - while it tumbles, amid a 
stench of incense and a rain of tourist-kitsch sacred hearts and preposterously crowned virgins.

For the first time - I think I'm in love with a man.

A shot of Chinaco is the least I can offer this great writer - 

I ask again:
A year from today, will there still be a Church of Serial Rapes?

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Cindy looking for a place to escape?


Lots of people have opinions...

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"What can you say about Palin and Bachmann that hasn't already been said 
  about Leopold and Loeb? They're like the Lucy and Ethel of the lunatic fringe." 
       -- Joy Behar on CNN, 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

We need a new Bartcop bumper sticker.

Any design guys/gals out there?
Can you make it printer-ready for the sticker people?
We should probably do a two-color design - what do you think?

Let's do a contest - thru May 1.
The best sticker art becomes the new flagship for

There's a "valuable" prize for the winner!

   I do great art work, Bart - Glad to help!  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Separated at birth? 
Benny the Rat and Emperor Palpatine

Thanks to Steve B

Marty's has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Michael Tom Steele as a Muppet


Pope: 'Acceptable Levels' 


Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, 
Benny the Rat vowed to bring the pedophilia in the Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.

On Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his "most humble apologies" to abuse victims, and pledged to 
reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.

"This is absolutely unacceptable," The Rat said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented 
our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."

Reducing child rapes to 60 percent of current levels would be a good start, Benny.

I ask again:
A year from today, will there still be a Church of Serial Rapes?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Help  survive!


 OR send a 'love' check to
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

Wis. DA Threatens Teachers
 Says he'll arrest them if they obey the law


A Wisconsin district attorney is urging schools to drop their sex-education programs, warning that 
the teachers involved could be arrested if they follow a new state law requiring them to instruct students 
on how to use condoms and other contraceptives.

God forbid these kids learn how to prevent pregnancy.

In light of a letter from Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth, (R-Teabagger), leaders at the 
five school districts in the county are evaluating what to do now, says School Superintendent Tom Andres.

"I don't intend to put our teachers in harm's way," he said. "We were just about to meet to discuss how to 
comply with the new law. Then this letter came, and this is another piece of the puzzle that we'll have to 
consider as we figure out how to move forward." 

The state law, called the Healthy Youth Act, took effect in March. Starting this fall, it requires schools 
with sex-education courses to teach students medically accurate, age-appropriate information, including 
how to use birth control and prevent sexually transmitted diseases. It also requires the classes to include 
information about how to recognize signs of abuse and how alcohol can affect decision making.

Oh no, we can't let these kids learn about life!
We need to keep them stupid and ignorant so they'll turn out like their parents!

Somebody needs to tell Threat Boy to go fuck himself.
What's he going to arrest them for?  Obeying the damn law?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

MMA Rumors


"I need your help. I have a lot of people who are after me." 
       -- Harry Reid, begging for help like a 9-year old girl,   Link

  Harry, why can't you retire like a man?
  If Nevada is tired of you, then take the hint and go away. 

  Too bad you didn't have a spine - you could've been a great statesman.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Hey Bart - I figured it out...

Hi Bart,
I think the problem with pederastic priests is this:  They do not believe that sex with boys is actually sex!

It works like this:  Priests must be celibate.  To the Church this means “no sex with women”, nothing else. 
So, non-procreative sex, i.e. homosexuality, isn’t really sex, so priests are free to engage in it.  In fact, this may be encouraged!

The proof of this, IMHO, is that there are few cases of priests raping young girls, just boys.
How does one correct this?  Remove the celibacy requirement! 
Oh, but that would probably mean that priests would then rape little girls too!

Just sayin’…

Dude, you might be onto something.
There's that old joke, "I'm not gay - HE was blowing ME."

Maybe that's how those priests think, but either way, they "know" 
God is watching them as they molest those kids and they do it anyway.

Same for Benny the Rat - he covered up their crimes, 
knowing that God was watching him do it every time.

To me, that's proof they know there is no God.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Teabaggers in the Fifties...

Teabaggers in the Fifties...

Not much difference...

Stupak runs from Teabaggers
 You can tell he's a coward - he's a Democrat


Congressman Bart Stupak of Michigan says he's retiring this year because (insert whatever lie you'd like here.)
Stupak said he made the decision within the last 36 hours not to seek a 10th term. He says he felt his main 
legislative goal — fucking up Obama's health care bill — was accomplished.

The 58-year-old women-are-stupid Democrat had been targeted for defeat by inbred, racist teabaggers 
for his crucial role in fucking up Obama's health care bill

Stupak says he could have won re-election. He insists he wasn't being chased from the race by the teabaggers, 
who are holding rallies this week in his northern Michigan district calling for his ouster

What a coward - go ahead and leave.
We already have too many gutless cowards in our party.

Maybe a Democrat with the balls to back his president will take your place.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Del Castillo in Germany

Rick Del Castillo - has ax, will travel...

Lido                      Berlin, DE        Thu Apr 15 10
Die Werkstatt     Cologne, DE     Fri Apr 16 10

All you Germans - go see Del Castillo.
Tell the guitar players that Bart says hey

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Memphis priest-rapist reassigned
 That way he can rape again and again


When Father Duran arrived in Memphis in 1999, the Spanish-speaking Dominican priest provided a much-needed 
addition to the Catholic Diocese of Memphis.  His duties were to minister to Hispanics at the Church of the Ascension.

It appeared to be a match made in heaven.

"We desperately needed someone to work with our Hispanic community," Bishop J. Terry Steib said in a 
deposition recounting talks with the Dominican Order. "And the candidate they had was Juan Carlos Duran."
The Memphis Diocese did little to examine his background and learned too late that Duran was a raping dog.

I just remember him asking, 'Please, please, let me give you oral sex,' stuff like that," said a 14-year-old boy
in a sex abuse lawsuit filed against the diocese. "I can't remember the exact number of occasions, but it was multiple."

The "John Doe" case prompted local media to file suit to gain access to court documents related to that case. 
The documents show that at least 15 priests have been accused of sexual misconduct over four decades 
in Memphis. Some had been accused of sexual abuse elsewhere and had been moved from one diocese to another."

The Church of Organized Serial Rapes does that?

Who knew?

I ask again:
A year from today, will the Church of Serial Rapes still exist?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Hippy Glossary

 ha ha

Subject: You know the phrase "I'd hit it?"

Maybe Benny the Rat is a member of the "hit 'yer youth."

Dude, that was so bad it was good. 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"Someone had better tell Washington that that pink elephant is on the move, 
  and Michele Bachmann  (R-Batshit) is leading the stampede." 
    -- Sarah the Publicity Whore,    Link

"Palin poses as a 'real American' from the heartland, yet she has done everything in her power 
  to escape that heartland and find refuge in celebrity...Whatever else Palin is, she is not authentic. 
  If anyone is phony in American culture, it is Sarah Palin." 
    -- Andrew 'Trifecta" Sullivan,    Link

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: RE: Fun times for Democrats

It is truly amazing. 
The Thugs are handing the next three elections to the Dems, 
yet the Democrats STILL don’t have the balls to take it.

If I could reach through that screen we’d drink that whole damn bottle!
 John the carpenter

I swear, when I was in sixth grade I could out-argue today's Democrats. 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

So, Obama is an idiot?
Go on Jeopardy with him.

I'll spot you $5,000 and we'll wager $1,000
that Obama out-scores your racist, teabagging ass.

Subject: If the south wants to secede - go for it 

Right wing Republicans and Tea Party extremists are talking about seceding from the United States. 
I say - go for it. Governors like Rick Perry of Texas and Bob McDonald of Virginia want to inflame 
the hatred of America then they should leave and form their own country.

The southern Republican leaning states are the high welfare states and the progressive north is stuck supporting them. 
I would love to see them pay their own way and they can take the Bush debt with them. They can deregulate everything 
and pay for their own bailouts. I for one am tired of putting up with the bad judgment of the politicians they elect. 
Maybe if they had to take care of themselves they they would understand that taking responsibility and fixing problems 
is more work that anger, apathy, and ignorance.

But here in "Real America" we had an election. 
We won, you lost. Get used to it.

Marc Perkel
My blog:

Founder of the Church of Reality
Reality changed my life. It can change your life too.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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"I get the real political news from Glenn Beck." 
    -- Christine the Teabagging Sheep,  Link

"I could give a flying crap about the political process. 
  We’re an entertainment company." 
    -- Glenn Beck,   Link

  No, you're a stealing-from-the-stupid company. 

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Subject: Can  you believe...

Sir Bart that we here in nutz Arizonaee still have to put up with this tool? Maverick my ass! 
He has and will always be a carpetbagger, right wing crazy guy. 
Hey I was here before McSame came to Arizona, WTF? I never voted for him.

Now just look at the bat crazy old hag we now have as caretaker governor, Brewer. 
That crazy old bitch is spending $15,000,000 to attempt to sue over ObamaCare. 
Hell,the state of AZ is still in the hole to the tune of several BILLIONS of dollars and now 
they want to spend tax money they don't have, that's just nutz! She told the f**ktards in the 
AZ legistature to over ride the democrat AG (Goddard) who told her that it's a waste of tax dollars. 
Since we also have a repuke controlled legislature they naturally abliged.

Don't even get me started with the other rethug from AZ in the Senate, Kyl. FUBAR is the state of Arizona.

…and they want the voters to pass a 1 cent sales tax in a special election in May 
so they can give the rich a backdoor tax cut. I'm voting NO on prop 100.

Stellar Job!
 John E. P.

Plus you have that Sheriff Arpaio to worry about.
He gets off on putting mad-dog killers in pink underwear.

One day they'll get lose - I wouldn't want to be him.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Click  for Tickets

Climate change may trigger earthquakes and volcanoes


I wasn't wanting to get deep into this, I was just making the point that I'm old
and I don't remember reading about an earthquake per week as I was growing up. 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Leno's audience are idiots 

Bart, Leno's audience are primarily idiots who will laugh at anything he throws their way, 
whereas Letterman's audience has a functioning brain.

Leno is still on the air for the same reason people like the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" and Fox Noise
- they're idiots!  Leno proved this during the Dumbya administration, all he did was kiss ass with 
right wing guests, while Letterman was more critical of them (see his questioning of Bill O'Reilly for that).

All Leno does is kiss ass. We can only hope that people will wise up to more intelligent comedy, 
such as David Cross, Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin and Letterman.  But you never know.

Keep Swinging the Biggest Hammer in All of the Known Universe, Bart!
 George M

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Y o u r

A d

H e r e

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"Palin and her moronic fans believe that Fox is the only "news" channel that is "fair and balanced" 
  when Fox is as "fair and balanced" as Rush and Ann Coulter sitting on opposite ends of a see-saw."  ha ha
    -- Bizarrobrain,     Link

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Why the new Tiger Ad will backfire
 His dead father is the star...


A new ad that uses the voice of Earl Woods isn’t just provocative—it’s a creepy piece of contemptible propaganda.

The latest from Nike and Tiger Woods, dropped into rotation on ESPN and the Golf Channel just in time for his 
ballyhooed return to golf at the Masters, is not an ad. It’s a provocation. A collaboration between a multi-billion dollar 
conglomerate, a man who just got out of sex rehab and the voice of a dead man who, when he prowled amongst the 
living, probably could have used a bit of counseling if not rehab himself.

But why would Tiger Woods the wanna-be human green-light it? 
Why would he choose to let us know the inner workings of his troubled soul via a :30 second piece 
communications that at best is branding and at worst is insensitive propaganda? 

Tiger likes to perpetuate the myth of Earl Woods almost as much as his own, but this commercial, 
which many have already called poignant and moving, isn’t just odd, it’s creepy. 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Update - Clarification 


The story was true, except for the part about the guy surviving the crash.

Weirdest part?

This poor guy's name was Brandon.
Five days after Brandon died, a friend who had attended Brandon's funeral 
died in a similar (!) motorcycle accident on the same Highway 169.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: medical costs in Europe

Hi bart,

Long time reader here in ireland and have been fascinated by the debate on healthcare over there in America
Just thought you would be interested in this story about a pair of Irish conjoined twins that were separated in
london today and the cost to the parents  of this 14 hour operation with a team of 20 doctors and nurses.


Yes, FREE because of our dastardly socialist healthcare systems here in Europe. 


Finbarr, thanks for that.
In America a typical familiy would lose their home after an operation like that.

In America, we'd rather be homeless than socialist.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

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"It took longer for the iPad to come out than it did Ricky Martin." 
    -- Letterman

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That poor kid's going to grow up and find out
he's the most high-profile mistake in recent history.

Subject: Crazy Michelle (R-Batshit)

>We are going to elect the boldest, strongest,  most courageous, rock-ribbed 
>  constitutional conservative president this country's ever seen! We're there!"  
>    -- Michelle Bachmann


Where  are they going to find this  kind of a republican? 
I've been around for a very long time, and have yet to see a 
Thug with even one of these qualifications she's dreaming about.

These people have completely lost it!!!
 Marian in MO

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Mike, thanks for that doubled donation.

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Katie Holmes wears Uggs 
 Will that poor girl ever escape the cult? 

 Link to Story

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