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Wednesday,  Sept 21,  2011     Vol 2756 - Tranquil towpath


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Republicans Threaten Fed
Arrow Man-on-Dog has a complaint:
Sarah Palin Nude!!!
Arrow Scalia: State murder is legal
Arrow Constant caving 'great strategery' 
Arrow Poker Legends Indicted
Arrow Spend the day w/ Jennifer Aniston



"Sarah and Todd rarely spoke to each other, they never had family meals. I never saw them
  really do anything together unless the cameras were on and then they played an American family.
  Todd always slept on the couch, never in Sarah's room, that I've seen."
--  Levi, talking about what he saw when he lived with the Palins,           Link

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Republicans Threaten Fed
Don't you DARE fix this economy...


Whatever shred of doubt you may have harbored about the determination of Republicans
to keep the economy in the dumps through Election Day should now be gone.

On Tuesday, in advance of a key meeting of the Fed's Open Market Committee,
top Republicans wrote a letter to Fed Chief Ben Bernanke.

They stated in no uncertain terms the Fed should take no further action to lower long-term
interest rates and juice the economy. "We have serious concerns that further intervention
by the Federal Reserve could exacerbate current problems or further harm the U.S. economy."

They didn't threaten to "treat him pretty ugly" -- as Rick Perry did with Bernanke if he
"printed more money" between now and the election.

But the threat was there. "It is not clear that the recent round of quantitative easing undertaken
by the Federal Reserve has facilitated economic growth or reduced the unemployment rate."

Translated: You try this, and we rake you over the coals publicly, and make the Fed
into an even bigger scapegoat than we've already made it.

How will Obama handle this atteptted coup?

Will he cede power to those he defeated in 2008?
Will he give up his presidency in an attempt to placate the wild dogs?


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Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

I believe Marty went back East to attend to a family matter.

Can you believe she blew off her E! page just like that?

After a mere 1518 consecutive publishing days,
she just ups and takes a few days off?

She's got a lot of nerve, doncha think?

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

See more at  http://mariopiperni.com

Halloween is just around the corner!

Buy early - get THE costume you want!

If not, you'll get stuck with the Jesse Helms costume

Also, check out their
Sexy Halloween Costumes

"Obama has a feisty new tone this week.  Maybe he read Ron Suskind's controversial book
  over the weekend, and decided it was time to take control of his presidency and put it on
  the side of struggling Americans, rather than on the side of super-wealthy Wall Street titans
  who destroyed the economy, where it's been since Inauguration Day."
-- Joan Walsh                                Link

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Man-on-Dog has a complaint:
"Why is Google so mean to me?"


Rick Santorum's last name is also a word for a byproduct of anal sex. That word was coined by
columnist Dan Savage, because Rick Santorum is a repulsive bigot and it was very funny. Years later,
Rick Santorum is running for president, and he is mad that Google accurately directs people searching
for his name to the sex definition. Google says they can't censor search results specifically to please one
random politician, but Santorum knows they are part of the conspiracy to embarrass him.

Now, the gay-hater says he’s convinced Google could do fix this, if they wanted to.

“I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they’d get rid of it,” Santorum said.
“If you're a responsible business, you don't let things like that happen in your business that have an impact on the country.”

He continued: “To have a business allow that type of filth to be purveyed through their website
or through their system is something that they say they can't handle but I suspect that's not true.”

But Rick, maybe things would be different if you hadn't dedicated your career to dehumanizing
and destroying the lives of innocent Americans, not to mention that they are also "God's children."

Why do you hate God's children, Rick?

When you live by the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter,
you tend to die by
the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter.

You're a horrible person, Rick.
Sometimes bad things happen to horrible people.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Elizabeth Warren

Yo Bart,
Did you see Elizabeth Warren on the campaign trail in Mass?
When I saw it I thought of you. This lady can swing a hammer!

Steve Bennen has a post, with video, about it on Washington Monthly, check it out:


Mitch, you are correct!
I saw her on Jon Stewart and I like her!

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Better than Communism...definitely better than Reaganomics:


A regulated free market economic system for democracy

Check out the news and toons at

bart blog

  on the Bart Blog!

Scalia: State murder is perfectly legal
 I'm sure Troy Davis feels great about that


In light of the very real evidence that Davis could be innocent of the crime that placed him
on death row, the Supreme Court today invoked a rarely used procedure giving Davis an
opportunity to challenge his conviction. Joined by Justice Clarence Thomas in dissent, however,
Scalia criticized his colleagues for thinking that mere innocence is grounds to overturn a conviction:

This Court has never held that the Constitution forbids the execution of a convicted defendant who
has had a full and fair trial but is later able to convince a habeas court that he is “actually” innocent. 
Quite to the contrary, we have repeatedly left that question unresolved, while expressing considerable
doubt that any claim based on alleged “actual innocence” is constitutionally cognizable.
So in Justice Scalia’s world, the law has no problem with sending an innocent man to die. 
One wonders why we even bother to have a Constitution.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Bartcop Worldwide Computer repair

Bart, your tech Jordan is a computer whiz,

I also wanted to let you know that we had Jordan help us with our PC just last week
and we are very satisfied with his work. It took a couple of tries to narrow down the
various culprits in our system because we had more than one problem, but he did it
and he helped set it up so it won’t happen again.

I would call him in an instant if I needed to have PC services again;
it was quick and painless and he does a lot for the money.

Thanks for advertising his services on your site,

We are  an independent, entrepreneurial, specialized engineering firm and part of the
creative economy  on the North Shore of Boston, from one of the reddest enclaves…..
We are part of the firewall against the hard, radical right...

Keep swinging that friggin’ hammer,
 Warren D 

Send e-mail to Bart

"If a bear charges - stand still, DO NOT RUN."
    -- Sign in Bear Country, Yellowstone            Sad Story

 You're supposed to follow directions when dealing with grizzly bears.
 Carry Bear Spray when walking amongst them.
  Bears can run faster than wide receivers -
DO NOT try to outrun them.

Send e-mail to Bart

Constant caving is 'great strategery'
  by Steve Kornaki at Salon


It seems logical to conclude that Obama's sudden eagerness to pick fights with Republicans
means that he's realized the folly of his "reasonable man" strategy and junked it. But a better
way to understand the president's new confrontational posture is as an extension of that strategy.

Shit, he could've read  bartcop.com  two years ago and realized his "nice guy" act wasn't working.

The "reasonable" approach, remember, grew out of the GOP's midterm landslide last fall, with a
chastened Obama seeking to win back voters by showing a desire to compromise with Republicans.
If Republicans reciprocated, Obama would benefit from a surprisingly productive legislative year.
And if they rebuffed him, he'd also benefit, since it would expose the GOP as a band of obstructionists
bent on advancing a narrow agenda and scoring political points.

OR, he could've done what Der Monkey Fuhrer did for eight long years:
He could've said, "WE'RE DOING THIS and DON'T TRY TO STOP ME."

That way, he would've seemed like a man instead of a mouse.

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Poker Legends Indicted
Howard (The Professor) Lederer and Chris (Jesus) Ferguson are criminals?
Obama wants to kill poker so bad he can taste it


The U.S. Attorney in Manhattan, Preet Bharara, claimed on Tuesday that Full Tilt Poker and its
board of directors operated the company “as a massive Ponzi scheme against its own players.”

Federal prosecutors in Manhattan said on Tuesday they were filing legal papers as part of a
civil money laundering complaint that alleged Full Tilt Poker improperly used funds of online
poker players to pay members of its board of directors, including superstars Howard Lederer
and Christopher “Jesus” Ferguson, $440 million since April 2007.

Bharara announced the filing of a motion to amend a forfeiture and civil money laundering complaint
that was filed in April, alleging that Full Tilt and board members Lederer, Ferguson and Rafael Furst,
together with Full Tilt CEO Ray Bitar, defrauded poker players out of some $300 million by not
maintaining funds at the company sufficient to repay players.
“Full Tilt was not a legitimate poker company, but a global Ponzi scheme,” Bharara said.
“Full Tilt insiders lined their own pockets with funds picked from the pockets of their most
loyal customers while blithely lying to both players and the public alike about the safety and
security of the money deposited.”

Federal prosecutors have drawn up an amended complaint that names Bitar, Lederer, Ferguson
and Furst, adding them to the original complaint which was filed seeking $3 billion from Full Tilt
Poker and unrelated poker companies, PokerStars and Absolute Poker.

This idiocy makes no sense at all.
I must assume this is just another bullshit charge in Obama's extremely illogical pursuit to ruin
online poker - killing the fun for 30M Americans who might otherwise vote for him.

First, are you familiar with the John DeLorean story?
DeLorean was trying to keep his car company going, but each time he tried to borrow money,
the government would secretly step in and warn to bank to deny his loans. After a while,
DeLorean began to look at extra-legal sources of income and when he got caught, the jury
agreed he wasn't guilty and the government looked like silly asses.

They're charging Full-Tilt and these two poker legends with trying to keep their company going
after the government made it illegal to accept money from American banks?

Could any business survive if the government makes accepting money illegal?

Another thing - i KNOW these guys.

Not personally, but I've seen them play poker hundreds of times and these two players are
among the tightest, most cautious, most methodical poker players on the planet.
They DO NOT MAKE stupid, risky moves that could get them into trouble - EVER!

Poker teaches you all about risk.
It teaches you to weigh the odds and how to proceed cautiously.

It's my opinion Lederer and Ferguson are bribe-proof and crime-free.
They are multi-millionaires and they got there by not taking stupid risks.

IF someone has $25M in the bank, and he makes his living playing games,
why would they risk their freedom to make another $25 million?

If they were oil men, I could see the greed factor, but not top-shelf poker players.

It makes no sense and these two are all about making sense.

I think Obama and his NY attack dog picked on the wrong people.
Lederer and Ferguson are among the most respected players in poker.
They are the last two people on the planet who would "gamble" for no reason.

Once, on Poker After Dark, the players decided to throw away $100K each just for grins.
They said, "Let's all put in $100K, the dealer will deal the cards FACE UP
and whoever has the best hand wins it all."

This is what gamblers do, it's NOT what Lederer and Ferguson did.

I hope this goes to trial.
I suspect the government will threaten Lederer and Ferguson with dying in prison
if they don't
allow the government to bully them into pleading guilty and doing time.

Apparently Obama has directed his Justice department to take down poker, whatever the cost.
I don't believe for ONE SECOND that Lederer and Ferguson were involved in any fraud.

Remember, if the federal governement wants you, they can threaten everyone you know,
everyone you've ever met, everyone you've ever done busines with, not to mention your
family, with dying in prison unless you agree to give them some dirt on their target.

That's why Susan McDougal is such a hero.
She told Ken Starr, "Fuck you - put me in prison" and he did.
They put her in a fucking glass Hannibal Lecter cage with lights pointing inward so the prison
guards could could watch her pee and she couldn't see them - but she knew they were there..

But she said, "Fuck you, I'm not giving in."

A double-shot of Chinaco for Susan McDougal.

Bottom Line:
NO WAY these two poker players are guilty, but IF their lawyer tells them,
"Your choices are doing ten years OR the rest of your life in prison,"
they may have to plead guilty and that's a much bigger crime than playing poker.

Another Perspective:
Notably, this cash shortfall only developed after the feds restricted Full Tilt Poker's access to
money transfer services. So we're left asking whether this alleged Ponzi Scheme is a diabolical plot

cooked up by owners who don't need to steal to enhance their wealth, or if it was a totally foreseeable
side effect of a business forced to operate under Prohibition-style laws.

Now players will never see 
their $300 million in online funds, Lederer and Ferguson, who appear
to be little more than
well-compensated figureheads, are wanted men, the poker companies are
hopelessly crippled,
and taxpayers are footing the bill for it all. Everyone lost because of 2007's
half-assed crackdown,
everyone except a Justice Department that created more work for itself.

Mr. President, you have screwed up - again.

If you lose next November, your one-term legacy might be that you cared more
about stamping out pot smoking and poker playing than jobs for the middle class.

Mr. President, nobody sent you to Washington to harass poker players and pot smokers.

Mr. President, what the hell is the reason for your warped priorities?

Pre-emptive strike:
Before you write in an tell me how helpless Obama was to "enforce the law,"
the Bush bastards got away with murder, torture, kidnapping, invading helpless countries.
outing Valerine Plame, emptying the Treasury and a hundred other crimes so don't try to
sell me some bullshit that "Obama's hands were tied" over online poker.

Send e-mail to Bart

Sarah Palin Nude!


Send e-mail to Bart


Did you see Ron Suskind on Jon Stewart last night?

He said Obama was so weak, they'd tell him when he could talk at meetings.
He said Larry Summers ran the meeting and he'd say, "I'll start, then you, Mr President..."

I don't know - I wasn't there, but after the two-plus years of audacious timidity
from this president, who, besides Tally, wouldn't suspect it was probably true?

FWIW, Jon said he read the book and it seemed "even-handed" and non-vicious,
so one could extrapolate that Jon agrees that Obama is "weak."

Send e-mail to Bart

Cartoonists are fighting back because
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Did this happen?

Today's Mystery Celebrity


Last issue's Mystery Celebrity  Link 

Bart, that's Chaz Bono and Jennifer Aniston.

And the odds of them going to high school together, I'd say, were 100%  :)
  Russ the Pillar

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Yahoo Admits to Blocking Wall Street Protest Emails

No wonder I didn't hear about it until it was over.

  Any idea what we're looking at here? 

Name that Song!


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Clooney gets married

One minute video

You Supply the Caption 


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Subject: WTF Bart

That's Napoleon!!
Who's next, Michael Jackson's picture off the Thriller album???

Sometimes people are stumped and can't even wager a guess
and sometimes they write and complain that it was "too easy."

I need to figure out how to make each mystery the
perfect amount of vague for each individual reader...

...but thanks for clicking!

Wildlife Close-up


 Did you know Rick Perry has a twin?

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Subject: Obama

YOUR e-mail was going to go here - but you didn't send it.

You thought about sending it, but then you figured I probably
wouldn't see it anyway, but right here is where your e-mail would've gone.

Today's Mystery City


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Subject: last issue's mystery city 
is unknown because I forgot to upload it.

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City


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Why did Katie Holmes wear an ugly "wife-beater" to the Emmys?

Was she sending out a distress signal?

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Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

That's Napoleon Bonaparte
Andy in Takoma Park

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