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Weekend-Monday, Sept 22-24, 2012 Vol 2942 - Fire Engine Red

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...


	Can Romney Win? Of course!
	Lyin' Ryan Booed at AARP
	Amanda Bynes Crashes, Burns
	How bad was Thurston's Week?
	Romney is a 'rolling calamity'
	Coburn to Vets: Drop Dead
	True Blood's Evan Rachel Wood

The Hottest Halloween costumes 2012 Ideas

Quotes

“Stop it.    This is hard.    You want to try it? Get in the ring.
This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now,
and it’s an important election, and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant
this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and
experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”
   -- Ann Romney, warning Piggy Noonan (and dozens of others Republicans)
   who have been publically peeing in Mitt's corn flakes    Link

First thing, you gotta love older Republican women who quote Axl Rose.

But think what Ann Romney's life of like right now.
When she wakes up in the morning there's that mountain of pressure on her.
She knows for the next 16 hours, she's going to have to deal with her panicking husband,
that asshole Paul Ryan, the phone calls, the e-mails... all that negativism.

Every e-mail she gets: "Tell Mitt he's fucking it up."

Every phone call she gets: "Why is Mitt screwing this up so badly?"

Parade Magazine wnats to know your plans for after the election.

Every person she meets: "Is today the day Mitt turns things around?"

Every FOX interview she does: "Is it tough, losing this badly to a Black guy?"

You run into punks on the street, "You're getting schooled, dude."

The the Koch brothers call: "Tell Mitt we're not giving him the $100M for Ryan."

Each time the kids call: "Don't worry Mom, tomorrow CAN'T be as bad as today!"

And those tender, intimate moments she used to share with Mitt?
Those are gone - with all that f-ing steam coming off his big head.

Now it's Katie Couric: "Do you regret marrying a politcian?"

Then Shelly Adelson calls: "Tell him I didn't give him $10M to fuck this up."

You turn on Letterman: "It's Fall. Unless you're Mitt Romney, and then it's free-fall."

You go on Leno: "Wow, you're really taking a beating."

BTW, she's on Leno tonight.

Jay will ask, "So how's the campaign coming?" and Ann will lie and say, "Things are great!"

That's a looooooot of pressure to be under - will she crack?


Send e-mail to Bart

Can Romney Win? Of course!
But not this year, not this time, not against Obama

Link

This is not where The Corporate Vulture wanted to be in late September.

Obama's bounce might have vanished by now, if not for the bad decions Romney has made
at every possible f-ing turn. First, there was The Libya Disaster. Just as he was recovering
from that massive fuck-up, a leaked video turned Romney into Thurston Howell III.

Will historians look back on these episodes as the effective end of Romney's chances?

YOU BET YOUR ASS.

Or, they could save time and read back issues of Bartcop.com, where Romney's
ultimate defeat was called many month s ago. Now would be the time to order up
one of those 'Romney's coming back' pieces," one columnist quipped, but Thurston
isn't Cinderella and he's damn sure is not missing a shoe.

Obama has his largest lead in general election. He has even larger leads in most swing states.
In our model, Obama has gone from 60 percent likelihood to win in August to 73 percent in
the aftermath of that crashed-his-campaign Thurston Howell video.

That margin if victory is widening faster than Ann Coulter's legs at Nazi-Con 2012.

Even if something MAJOR happens, Thurston will uck-up his reponse.

One thing we can be sure of:
Osama bin Laden won't be releasing a tape to help Thurston the way he helped D.M.F.

"Thanks for the last-minute tape..."

"I'm stuck in hell with just one virgin."

Send e-mail to Bart

Lyin' Ryan Booed at AARP
But they cheered Obama

Link

The AARP reception for Obama and Lyin' Ryan couldn’t have differed more:
Obama won cheers for discussing Obamacare while Ryan got his most aggressively
negative response for vowing to repeal it.

The audience of several thousand clearly came down on Obama’s side. Despite Ryan’s
exhortations that the president had “turned Medicare into a piggy bank for 'Obamacare,' ”
cutting $716 billion from provider payments—a claim that fact-checking watchdogs
have judged to be largely false—he was met with a loud round of boos and cries of “no!”
as he pledged to repeal Obamacare which AARP supports.

Watch the AARP Boo the Butcher of Medicare

They need to put Romney on suicide watch.

He knows it's all slipping away and the evidence is everywhere you look.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: This fucking election

Guess what. We are fucked if we do and fucked if we don't.
Neither one of these bastards is good for America.
Gladys

Even if that were true, they're not the same.

But you did make me feel young and naive for a second - thanks.

Send e-mail to Bart

Quotes

"If you make a deal with Obama, you WILL lose your position as House Minority Leader."
-- Cantor's staff, according to Bob Woodward's new book

This is why nothing is getting done in Washington.

The Teabaggers have Cantor by the shorthairs and he wants to
hold onto power more than he wants to put America back to work again.

Maybe Obama should mention that in his next speech?

Send e-mail to Bart

Amanda Bynes Crashes, Burns
Dropped by Lawyer, Agent and Publicist

Link

The troubled 'Easy A' actress has been abandoned by three of her team in recent weeks,
with them all claiming it is due to her behaviour becoming increasingly erratic in recent months.

One source told TMZ.com her management team haven't been able to get in touch with her
in a month and attempts to get help her before she went under the radar had all failed.

Amanda has had a turbulent few months, including recently having her car impounded and her
driving licence suspended while she faces charges of DUI (driving under the influence) and
multiple accusations of hit and run.

The 26-year-old star denies she is responsible, saying she never drinks and drives, as well as
claiming she is quitting acting, which could explain why she hasn't talked to her managers.

She said: ''I am doing amazing. I am retired as an actor. I am moving to New York to launch
my career. I am going to do a fashion line. I am not talking about being arrested for DUI
because I don't drink, and I don't drink and drive. It is all false.''

Despite her assertions, Amanda was again involved in two bizarre incidents earlier this week,
locking herself in a store changing room for nearly two hours and refusing to come out and
stripping off during a gym class.

Recent headlines:

Lindsay Lohan thinks Amanda Bynes should be punished
Amanda Bynes locks herself in changing room
Amanda Bynes is not a public risk
Amanda Bynes' parents move to LA
Amanda Bynes: 'I don't drink and drive'
Amanda Bynes accused of pinching paparazzo

I don't know Amanda Bynes, I can't really say I'm a fan, but I can tell, sitting right here
in Tulsa, Oklahoma that this poor woman is bi-polar and she needs immediate medical help.

She's the Colorado theater shooter without the 100-round clips.

Somebody - a family member or a friend - needs to get a judge to put her under a
72-hour watch so she can be diagnosed and treated so she can return to sanity.

Surely I'm not the only one who sees the obvious...

Send e-mail to Bart

Shop Online
Amazon.com sells everything

Find your purchase then come back here
and use this link
and they'll throw the Treehouse some pennies..

Amazon business has been slower than usual.
I hope things pick up between now and Christmas
because Amazon has become my lifeline.

Extra thanks to those of you who
use the Bartcop.com Amazon Portal.

Someone bought Skechers Men's 50492 Journeyman Safaris River Sandal
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I think everyone needs some bad-ass Skechers Sandals

If your spouse needs a _________ this Christmas,
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Quotes

"I've got a very effective campaign. It's doing a very good job. It doesn't need a turnaround.
We've got a campaign which is tied with an incumbent president to the United States.”
-- Thurston the turnaround expert. plenty satisfied with his campaign Link

Send e-mail to Bart

How bad was Thurston's Week?
So bad he released his 2011 taxes
Romney cooked book to get to 14%,
campaign admits that - I wonder why?

Link

Here's the deal:
Romney said he had never paid less than 14% over the last decade.
Last year, he only paid 9%, which makes him caught in yet another lie.

So, they re-did his taxes, giving charity more money, but not claiming the full
deduction and that accounting trick raised his effective tax rate from 9% to 14%

So while me and you have to pay 30 percent in taxes to keep America running,
the super-rich are only paying 9 percent and that's why America is bankrupt.

Meanwhile, Thurston's screaming "lazy" at people too f-ing poor to pay taxes.

Romney has just become the Poster Boy for super-rich assholes
who are bankrupting America by not paying their fair share of taxes.

When Obama wins that second term and has the House and Senate, he should
re-write the tax laws and make the super-rich pay 30 percent just like you and me.

Hey Mitt, how's this week going?

Send e-mail to Bart

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Romney is a 'rolling calamity'
says Whore Street Journal's Piggy Noonan

Link

Peggy Noonan is continuing her assault on Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.

Earlier this week, Noonan wrotel: “It’s time to admit the Romney campaign is an incompetent one.
It’s not big, it’s not brave, it’s not thoughtfully tackling great issues. It’s always been too small for
the moment. All the activists, party supporters, and big donors should be pushing for change.
People want to focus on who at the top is least constructive and most responsible. Fine, but Romney
is no puppet: He chooses who to listen to. An intervention is in order. ‘Mitt, this isn’t working.’”

On Friday, she wrote she was just being polite.

“The Romney campaign has to get turned around,” she said. “This week I called it incompetent,
but only because I was being polite. I really meant ‘rolling calamity.’"

If you're a Democrat, does it get any better than this?

Send e-mail to Bart

Thursday's SNL Skit

Seth Meyers: Did you watch Bill Clinton's big speech?

James Carville: Yes, I watch ALL of Bill's speeches.

Seth Meyers: Oh? Why's that?

James Carville: In case Bill gives me the signal:

Seth Meyers: Signal? What are you talking about?

James Carville: If Bill Clinton's giving a speech, and he pulls his ear twice
and says "magnolia," then I have to kill George Stephanopolis .

If you saw it you know it's true.

Send e-mail to Bart

New Zeppelin movie" "Shattering"
Damn, I'm in the mood for a good shattering, too

Link

Multi cameras capture the action in close proximity – providing a real sense
of being right there on stage with them which is utterly compelling

In My Time Of Dying: incredible intensity

Since I’ve Been Loving You: Another revelation –brilliant interplay

Dazed And Confused: Dynamic and compact...lasers and violin bow – classic Zep

Stairway To Heaven: Moving crowd shots as they perform the intro… unavoidable ‘well up’ moment

Kashmir: Colossal!….simply stunning…absolutely astonishing!

As you can probably tell I am still completely over whelmed with what I
witnessed on Friday but when you see it, you will know what I mean.

I can't wait.
I've been reading Dave Lewis for decades and if he says it's "shattering..."

Regular readers know how I feel about Led Zeppelin.
There is a God and his first name is Jimmy.

I can't wait.

One minute teaser from the movie) Speakers WAY up

Suggestion: Drop the video quality down to 480 or so because Google paid $1.6B
for a very cool toy that almost never works right - it kept buffering on the Hi-Def setting.

You do NOT want this clip to stop - it's very exciting.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: senate dems looking better

Bart,

Joe Donnelly, a blue dog democrat is even with teabagger Richard Mourdock
who beat Richard Lugar in the primary. Shelli Yoder, a former Miss America
runner-up is leading teabagger Todd Young in Indiana's "bloody ninth."

There is an outside chance that Indiana will remain blue for Obama.
Michaelgyhe

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you'll know when each new issue goes up.

Astrocat

Sirius XM has moved Mike from midnight - 3 AM

mikemalloy.com

Quotes

"I think we had a good week last week..."
-- Rance Remus, head of the RNC , to Judas Maximus

Dude, we hope you have five more "good" weeks like last week.

Send e-mail to Bart

Hot teen spanked by Perv Principal
They do things funny in Tejas

Link

Rather than be suspended for allegedly letting another student copy her classwork,
Taylor Santos chose to get paddled.

Her mother said "Taylor's grades are very important to her."

So Santos went to the vice principal's office to request a paddling. She called her mom,
who said that as long as her daughter was OK with it, so was she.

What neither Jorgenson nor Santos knew was that a man - the vice principal - would be
doing the swatting, while a female watched. As far as Jorgensen knew, she said, school
policy mandated that males spanked males and females spanked females.

Because of the force with with Santos was struck, her bottom was fire-engine red and
looked as if it had been "burned and blistered," said Jorgensen, who took photos as evidence.

This story has monster perv written alllllllll over it.

I have $100 that says the principal doesn't spank the biggest linemen on the school's football team.
No, he only "punishes" the hot female teens that way.

Are we assuming the hot teen had her pants on when she was spanked?
And each principal decides how long and how hard the hot teen gets spanked?

Are we assuming he bent the hot teen over his lap for her "punishment?"

If this was my daughter, I would personally explain to that principal why violence was a bad thing.

Sidebar:
In Tejas, they STILL have "religious compounds" where pre-teen females are raped daily by their
husbands/masters because their "religion" says they can have all the "fun" they want and America's
"freedom of religion" allows this to non-stop sexual violence on female children to continue.

Religion - it's the biggest problem in the world

Send e-mail to Bart

Coburn to Vets: Drop Dead
Says we can't afford a Jobs-for-Veterans bill
but we can give a trillion to the billionaires?

Link

Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma said the federal government already has six job-training programs
for veterans and there is no way to know how well they are working. He argued that making progress
on the country's debt was the best way to help veterans in the long-term.

"We ought to do nothing now that makes the problem worse for our kids and grandkids," Coburn said.

Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash. noted that more than 720,000 veterans are unemployed, including 220,000
veterans who have served since 9-11. She said putting veterans back to work was the cost of war.

"Instead of meeting us halfway, we have been met with resistance. Instead of saying yes to the nearly
1 million unemployed veterans, it seems some on the other side have spent the last week and a half
seeking any way to say no," Murray said.

The advocacy group Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America denounced the vote.

Coburn says he doesn't want to hurt future generations - I get that.
He says there's no way to tell how other vet programs are helping.

But WE KNOW what ten years of tax cuts for the super-rich did - it bankrupted America,
yet Coburn will vote for another trillion dollars in tax cuts for the super-rich.

If they'll do this to veterans right before an election,
think what they'll do to us if Romney somehow wins.

Coburn's bottom line: Fuck America's Veterans.

Send e-mail to Bart

Quotes

"Romney didn't release tax returns before 2010, but he released a letter
by an accountant who was not under oath. That's good enough for me."
   -- Chris Rock

If Chris Rock and LOLGOP were the only two people on Twitter
   it would be worth signing up for it.


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: last

Mitt Romney is now saying that if he is elected president, he will emphasize the
role of God in American society and will not "take God out of the public square."
But that raises the question as to whose God will have a role in American society.

Although I am now a Realist I was raised Jewish in a society where most people
were Christians. From a Christian perspective they looked at themselves as Judaism 2.0.
While keeping the Old Testament they added a New Testament which superseded Judaism.
The added Jesus and the Holy Spirit. From a Jewish perspective Christianity was an
unauthorized sequel. These new Gods were not our Gods.

Mitt Romney however is a Mormon and the Mormons have a Third Testament to the Bible.
Mormons see themselves as Christianity 2.0 and Judaism 3.0. It also has the advantage of
being "Made in America". Perhaps Christians can appreciate what it's like when another
religion writes an unauthorized sequel.

The Book of Mormon is very different than the New Testament just as the New Testament
is very different than the Old Testament. It's not the same religion. That's why Mormons
come to Christian homes to try to convert Christians to Mormons.

Mitt Romney isn't just a Mormon, he's a Bishop in the Mormon Church. During the
Vietnam War era Romney spent years living in France as a missionary converting
European Christians to Mormons. So when Romney says that he will emphasize
the role of God in American society, what does he really mean? If Romney is putting
God on the table shouldn't we at least ask Romney what God he's talking about?
Marc Perkel

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Check out the news and toons at

Read all about it!

on the Bart Blog!

Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Today's Mystery City

Link

Subject: last issue's Mystery City Link

Bart, looks like Seattle around the time of the World's Fair in 1962.
LWS

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Yes, it's been a hot summer.

Astrocat Bonus

Today's History Mystery

Link

Subject: last issue's History Mystery Link

Bart that's Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce, born June 24, 1842 and died sometime after December 26, 1913.
He was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist and satirist. Today he is probably
best known for his short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and his satirical lexicon The Devil's Dictionary.
John from Charlotte

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Subject: donations

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.
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True Blood's Evan Rachel Wood

Check out over 800 sexy and tasteful photos of Evan Rachel Wood

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