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Text in green was uploaded October 15th, about 5 weeks ago, HERE

TV Stuff

I like watching Law & Order SVU, but they've done fucked it up.
They've added Christine Lahti to the cast and she's unwatchable.
She's Nancy Grace and Dr. Laura rolled into one (not a compliment.)
All she does is harass the show's regulars and it's almost impossible to watch.
Way to go, NBC.
You only have 3 or 4 decent shows and you screw them up?

This was the biggest one.
They heard me, and a week later ADA Christine Lahti showed up drunk in court.
She told the judge to FO so he damanded an instant breathalizer test and she was hammered.
Now she's off the show "Gone to rehab" and we don't want her back.
I'm sure Ms. Lahti is a nice lady, I just hate them putting mustard in a nice, chocolate cake.
The show is better without her.

Same for The Mentalist.
It was last season's biggest breakout hit - so they fixed it.
They brought in Terry Kinney, who's a fine actor even if his eyes are waaaaay too close together.

But Kinney's job is to harass star Patrick Jane - which almost makes the show unwatchable.
Why do these Hollywood handjobs change a formula that works, one that made them millions?

They shot Kinney dead Thursday night.
A puppet belonging to Red John shot up the whole anti-Mentalist team.
The show is better without her.

That was a great move because Kinney was only there to play Mr. Mustard.
Why does f-ing Hollywood think we need f-ing mustard in a chocolate cake?

But more than that, why does Hollywood think a TV show needs a multi-year, hangnail sub-theme?
I HATE when they do that, and almost every show has one.
It's a clumsy-as-hell plot device to make the heroes seem helpless and vulnerable.

C.S.I. has the miniature killer - helped bring down the show.
X-Files had Mulder's never-ending chase after his kidnapped sister.
The Mentalist has this ridiculous Red John character - who needs it?
The Closer  is a fine show - until Brenda's Dad shows up to nag her all day.
Burn Notice has a new enemy show up every year to make Michael grovel.
House had a detective shadow him for a year to harass him about his Oxy abuse.
  Who enjoyed seeing House threatened with jailtime every f-ing week for a year?
  Then Chi McBride bought House's hospital; and refused to let House save lives.
  Did anybody enjoy that waaaay-too-long arc of shows?

Who wants to see James Bond grovel?  What's wrong with Hollywood scriptwriters?
The best shows are the "normal," stand-alone shows where they open and close a case.

Anybody old enough to remember Petticoat Junction?
Every 5-6 shows, this old guy would show up and threaten to close down the train.

And please, don't write and say, "Conflict produces drama."
I know that - I'm 56 - I've seen more TV than you. Conflict is fine, 
but nobody wants to see John Wayne squirming because his mother-in-law's in town. 
If John Wayne needs some conflict, send in The Dalton Gang on a drunk streak.

Same for C.S.I..
They stupidly decided that America loves Laurence Fishburne more than the other characters.
Every show is about him - he's the star - and the team that made America's #1 show is secondary.

How can they be so stupid?

You'd think with Grissom gone, they'd do more stories about Catherine and Nick and the rest,
but nooooooooooooooo.  It's all about the new guy and you know what makes it worse?
I believe Fishburne is the highest or second-highest paid actor on TV.
Just like that - he walks in and takes seniority and his character is nothing but a lifeless zero.
So I predict a rapid fall in the rating for TV's once biggest drama.

Robert Bianco, USAToday's TV critic, agrees:



So please, Hollywood writers, consider a new paradigm.
You put obnoxious crap in your shows that's only there to make us say "Thank God" when it's gone. 
Stop doing that or we'll leave faster than we're leaving now, which is damn fast.
Stop putting mustard in our chocolate cake or we'll find a new bakery.

We like conflict - give us Mike Tyson vs a worthy opponent,
don't give us 45 minutes of Mike Tyson shoo-ing away a pesky fly and
don't give us 45 minutes of Mike Tyson haunted by the color magenta.

Let's get back to politics...

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