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Volume 394 - This Interview is Over
 January 27-28, 2001 
 I suppose everyone will watch the game - and the commercials. Want to vote on best and worst commercial?
 Pick your top three commercials, then pick your worst three commercials. Winner gets a week for two in Hawaii.*
 Submit entries to   Or any SuperBowl story you have from Sunday.
 Your snacks, your drinks, your location, Uncle Ed getting drunk and breaking the coffee table etc.
 Send 'em to bartcopbowl@yahoo.comand you might win that Super Trip to sunny Hawaii.*

 Super Bowl Stuff

 (I have a real issue ready to upload.
  Check back in about an hour - this will be in the archives.)


Subject:  Fuck the super bowl

Its cold in Michigan.
I wandered down to my local BW3's to catch the game on the big screens.
The bar was running a special - $2.00 domestic schooners. I pulled up a stool,
ordered a LaBatt's, and tossed my pack of Camel Menthol Lights onto the bar.
After a smoke I ordered up 12 spicy garlic wings and some potato wedges.
The man who approached me was unshaven and smelled of dirty laundry.
He asked me my name, and ironically the kitchen called my name over the
loud speakers before I could answer. He asked me for a smoke and I gave him two.
His name was Eddie.
A black man.
He was a Vietnam vet.
Together we watched the National Anthem.
Seeing "Stormin' Norman" on the screen made my stomach churn.
The Govt. gives me, a white rich boy, over $5,000 per year to attend school.
Eddie is homeless.
I have never been so ashamed in my life.
Sean Young
Michigan State University

Sean, not only that, but a wartime deserter has stolen the White House
against the will of most voters - it's hard to believe it could happen in America...


 More reports coming in on the "terrible vandalism" done by Democrats.
 Bush staffers claimed someone changed the sign in the White House Communications office to read
 "Office of White House Communications and Strategery."

 Do I think "vandalism" like this happened?
 You bet your ass I believe that happened.

 But that other crap?
 It's another Fox News whorefest.


 I have a stack of stories, such a tall stack...
 If I only had a staff,
 Since I don't - I'll just start at the top and go till I stop.

 Great True Quotes

 The selection of attorney general of Ashcroft, whose politically expedient ambush
 of Judge Ronnie White on the senate floor is legendary in civil rights circles,
 suggests Bush welcomed a fight with those most aggrieved by the Florida vote count.
 It was the equivalent of rubbing salt in their open wounds
  -- Thomas Mann, Senior Fellow, Brookings Institute

 ...the liar said he "wanted to unite,"
 and the whore press lets him get away with that because....

 ...well, you know why.

 Shock Jock Still Breathing

 Aging radio wheezer Paul Harvey (R-Horse abuse) deserves a web page of his very own.
 This morning, I hear him whining about how awful it is when society so easily allows criminals.
 to be role models for their children.

 Paul Harvey says "We've lost our way."

 He was whining that someone did a study (If he's such a great communicator, why are the details
 of his stories all so hard to remember?) that showed that up to twenty percent of the men currently
 in the NFL have criminal records.

 Of course, he's talking about Ray Lewis and that Carruth guy.
 But since Equineboy is famous for lies, half-truths, slants and persona slurs,
 (Sue me, Harvey - you lying fraud! Let's each tell our stories to a jury!)  agreed to do a brief study on a similiar group of people.

 After a careful review of the facts, and with full documentation,  has determined
 that a whopping 100 percent of the presidential and vice-presidential candidates
 the Republican Party ran last year have criminal records.

 "Big-Time" was arrested for drunk driving.
 Drunk-driving is a very serious offense which causes tens of thousands of deaths a year.
 He pleaded guilty, paid his fine (it was 1/4600th of his salary that year. Big deterent.)

 Did he learn his lesson?
 No - fuck the law.
 Dick Cheney doesn't have to obey the law.

 Dick Cheney is a big-time Republican.

 Then, ... for a second time,  this drunken, arrogant power-grabber
 gets in his car ...a second time, and drove so badly, that he was pulled over
 and arrested a second time for endangering innocent lives while flouting the law.

 "Fuck the law, I'm Dick Cheney," was a quote from one unnamed source.

 Two arrests, three heart attacks (make that four now) makes you wonder.
 This was the best Republican to hold Smirk's hand while he tries to learn?)


 ...then we have Smirk the Wonder Dog.

 I won't go over the long list (not today, there's too many stories to get lost doing background)
 but let's quickly address this exchange:

 Reporter: So, Gov Bush, you pled guilty drunk-driving, is this correct?

 Smirk: Yes, I'm sorry for that, and it was a mistake, I've said so many times.

 Reporter: So, you've been arrested for petty theft, and for creating a public nuisance
                  and now we learn of this third arrest, your drunk-driving arrest.
                  Does that mean you have only been arrested three times in your life?


 So, this is definite proof that Karen Hughes knows of a FOURTH  arrest.
 Every piece of evidence points to a fourth, probably cocaine-related arrest,
 but the American whore press refuses to ask the question on everyone's mind.

 For all we know, Smirk was arrested a fifth, sixth and seventh time,
 but the whore press refuses to ask the question since Karen said "None of that!"

 Why can't he answer "No," to "Have you ever committed a cocaine felony?
 As the vulgar Pigboy likes to say, "Hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm??????????"

 I'd even settle for an on-the-record "For what crime did you do community service in Houston?"

 But no,
 the whore press has too much invested in the Smirk presidency.

 Isn't it scary that we don't know the press's motives?

 How does it feel?
 ...knowing he gets a pass on a COCAINE BUST,
 (for possesion? for possession with intent?  Rich boys don't buy cocaine in $25 quantities)
 when Clinton had to defend "didn't inhale pot" for nine years?

 I could go on, but - too many topics.

 This all started when that idiot Paul Harvey got on his possibly-abused high horse to whine
 about how awful it is when society so easily allows criminals to be role models for their children.

 When it comes to politics, Paul Harvey gives the criminals a pass.
 But if it's sports, Paul Harvey claims, "We've lost our way."

 Paul Harvey, thy name is whore.

 I talked to a guy about the possibility of some  BartCop Radio.
 Turns out it doesn't cost an arm and a leg to set up - just an arm.

 We have that same problem that if a bunch of people tuned it
 it would cost too much and we'd have to stop.
 (Koresh - send an angel)

 So we kicked around a few ideas about format and expectations and hardware
 and as we were about to hang up, this promoter guy says,
 "Your Okie twang will sound so funny talking liberal politics."


 (I gave the revolver three chances to take me)

 Y'know, I grew up in ...Denver, and didn't have a discernable accent.
 Now, apparently, I sure as shit-shucks do.

 Maybe I could use a voice synthesizer.

 Great Republican Quotes

 Reporter:  Jeb, did you know that Smirk had been arrested for drunk driving?

 Jeb Bush:  I don't remember...

 Repeat after me - nobody is against a tax cut.

 "Nobody is against a tax cut."

 It's just that some us think it's best to pay bills before we buy beer.
 Go figure, the liberals are the sane ones now on fiscal policy.

 It's like abortion - say it with me - Nobody is pro-abortion.

 "Nobody is pro-abortion."

 If you know someone who is, I think it'd make a great Thursday Night Debate.

 ...but on this tax-cut. They say the easiest tax cut to pass is the Marriage Penalty repeal.

 Let's give in on this one.
 Sure, the wealthy will all buy second and third luxury yachts, but we can survive that.
 At least the little people, you and me, will get something.

 My accountant says if this MP repeal passes, there's a $1400 bonues for everyone in the $20K
 to 250K range, which is most people. If Smirk gets his way, the tax cut would be, in his words,
 "retroacs, would be returnable,, it would be would go back a ways."

 Karen Hughes: He said 'retroactive' - that's what you heard...

 Whore Press: Yes, Ms Hughes

 I think we should accept that $1400 slowdown on paying the debt and go to Las Vegas for a weekend.


 After the cheating and thieving they used to snatch away the will of the people,
 we owe ourselves a week to blow off some steam and, maybe, ...drink some tequila...


 If Smirk gets his MP repeal passed, it's BartCop Vegas Tequilafest 2001.

 Tonight on CBS

 Ricky Martin is playing the Super Bowl show at MacDill Air Force Base.


 Ricky Martin is going to shake his bon-bon for our fighting men?
 What a daring move by Smirk, to OK the gay hunk singing for our fighting men.

 Will John Ascroft be there with video camera?
 ...trying to catch soldiers sporting woodies watching Ricky go up and down
 and up and down that steel-hard mic stand with his money-maker?

 Careful guys, it's a trap!

A Good Place to Go


 Flashback from BartCop Volume 234

 Great Judith Regan Quotes

 Some guest said,  "Do you like Smirk?"

 Judith Regan replied,
"Let me put it this way.  I really, really liked Frank Sinatra,
  but I wouldn't hire Frank Sinatra Jr. to sing at my party."

 ha ha

Clearer than Lake Concha.
Proof that the Repubs know he's an idiot, too.

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 Read the  Previous Issue
 It had everything - Jailhouse wheelin' and dealin', babes and Mr. Peabody.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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