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Subject: #Volts News Service Closes Up Shop
All good things must come to an end.
My news service is taking up valuable time that I need to spend on other parts of my life.
So after much though and consideration I have
decided to call it a day.
Thanks for reading.
Damn, Volt was my primary source of news.
I'm going to miss you, old friend.
If you ever want to get back in, send me some e-mail.
I'll do my best to publicize your return.
Let's hope Smirk's hired goons aren't responsible.
Volt is deeeeep in the heart of Tejas.
I second the observation of your reader who warned against doing intellectual battle with an
unarmed opponent. I have seldom seen anyone as consistently clueless as that pretender Willcommen.
As hard as it is to find serious debate opponents I think you must set some standards for the future.
First, you should insist that they provide some proof of having more than a 10th grade education.
Perhaps you could test their knowledge of US geography and basic history.
Can they name at least one state that borders on the one they live in?
Can they identify the capitol of one state other than their own?
Can they identify the Presidents of the US in order at least since WWII?
Can they place the Civil War in the correct 1/2 century?
Can they name the leader of at least one country other than our own?
I don't think Willc could have passed this test (of course I'm not betting that Smirk could pass it either).
Better luck next time!!
Brad, good point.
But I think the smarter ones know enough to stay away :)
Subject: Bush is a Coward - Suggestion from Salon
Re: George W.'s handlers' recent announcement
that Georgy Boy won't be doing any more press conferences,
here is an excellent suggestion from a poster at Salon for how we can actively stick it to the chimp:
I hear he is sensitive (for good reason) to the
Start having protesters with signs begging or daring him to actually have a press conference or to answer questions.
Make it an issue of bravery that it is, and call him a coward if he doesn't.
Signs requesting he talk to the press, might be more likely to get on TV and into News Papers as well.
How could a man afraid to talk to the press send men into combat, is beyond me.
I like that idea, but it reminded me of something, too.
When the spy plane "crisis" was unfolding, the press kept telling us Smirk stayed inside the White House
"because he didn't want to hog the spotlight like some presidents did."
This is horseshit!
President Weak & Stupid stayed away from cameras and microphones
because he's a moron.
He sent Cheney and Powell out to speak because they each have brains.
Smirky can't answer press questions because he doesn't have a clue.
He's likely to say "We're keeping an eye on Tokyo for a response."
...and the press believed it, or at least fed that lying horseshit to us.
You know, if we really have a methamphetamine epidemic in this country,
why can't the press get hold of some and stay the hell awake?
Subject: MLK speech
Bart & Company..
I was doing my normal reading of your site, and
I saw the tribute to Dr. King.
I knew very well what the audio clip would be, but I had to hear it anyway..
Given that I am a white man, not priviledged by
any means, but "comfortable",
I still cry when I hear that; I wonder and wish for his survival; and I can't help but think...
what would this world be like if Dr. King had not been taken so early?
RLR, we can only guess, but my guess is an educated one:
If they didn't murder him, if the political climate was such that murder wasn't an option,
they would've just done to King what they've done to Clinton and Jesse Jackson.
Rush and Hannity and O'Reilly and Fox News would fabricate lies from
and the American whore press would print them, each and every fucking one.
Pigboy would dissect each speech he gave screaming "STOP THE TAPE" while
every sentence he ever spoke, like he does with every Democrat today.
No doubt the New York Whore Times would print every hooker
allegation Drudge fed them.
Yeah, they'd print it on the front page, above the fold, just like they did to Clinton.
Fox News would be round-the-clock with, "Dr. King: Saint or child rapist? ...you decide."
...and the dirty American whore press would megaphone every goddamn
personal slur fed to them.
Meanwhile, President Weak & Stupid is off-limits, and nobody knows why.
Going AWOL during wartime,
getting in a full National Guard unit to train on obsolete equipment,
the felony abortion for the 15-year old Houston girl named Robin,
the cocaine arrest,
the mysterious community service that wasn't attached to any crime,
the I.Q of wet sawdust,
the hidden fourth arrest (or fifth and sixth?)
the Wily Brothers and Enron gouging billions while the working class pays triple-sized heating bills -
...none of that is worthy of any press ink.
...but Dr King's alleged affair with a underage assistant?
That would be 24/7/52 on every cable channel the billion-dollar, whites-only conglomerates own.
"Do the members of the crew have Bibles?
Why don't they have Bibles?
Can we get them Bibles?
Would they like Bibles?"
-- President Weak & Stupid, as quoted by Karen
demonstrating how "intensely involved" he was in the spy plane "crisis."
Subject: Re: co2science.org and who they really are...
So, I looked into co2science.org, which is run by Craig and Keith Idso,
two brothers who've been on the global warming bandwagon since 1998.
They run an organization called The Center for the Study of Carbon Dioxide and Global Change.
The web domain is registered in Craig Idso's name, at his home address.
According to ewg.org, they receive "moral support,"
though not funding, from Western Fuels Association
-- which also has some other propaganda organizations out there, including the misnamed
"Greening Earth Society." The whole list and description of Western Fuels is at
And, Western Fuels' business, you ask?
Why, coal, of course...
Thanks for that, Jon.
Whenever a ditto-monkey sends "proof" there's no global warming,
it's a safe bet the "study" was funded by Friends of Smirk n' Dick.
Hostage Double Standards
by The Daily Brew
In that context, what is most interesting about the China hostage crisis was the media's rather muted coverage.
The coverage of events in China stand in stunning contrast to the coverage of a similar crisis in Iran twenty years prior.
As any American can no doubt recall, with each passing day of the events in 1980, the nightly news broadcast of
every major network opened with the sensationalized headlines:
"America Held Hostage: Day 32"
"The profound national humiliation that
President Bush has brought upon the United States may be
forgotten temporarily when the American air crew ... return home. But when we finish celebrating,
it will be time to assess the damage done, and the dangers invited, by the administration's behavior.''
-- The conservative Weekly Standard, agreeing with The BartCop Doctrine on Non-Capitulation.
Florida Water is Too Clean for Gov Bush?
Full, Sad Story
In his letter the governor labeled federal clean-water rules "nonsensical," and encouraged the new president to
"change the culture" at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to "abandon conventional processes"
and allow states to try new solutions.
The governor wants to relax the rules and allow
the water to exceed standards for bacteria and coliform,
which comes from human and animal waste.
Even some staunch Bush supporters like state Rep.
Nancy Argenziano, R-Crystal River,
are uneasy about pumping polluted water into the aquifer.
"You don't have to be a scientist to know that
you don't put, excuse me, crap into the potable
water supply," she said.
Why would Jeb Bush want more fecal matter in Florida's water?
Let me tell you how this works:
The water in Florida is "too clean."
He wants President Weak & Stupid to throw out federal regulations so friends of Jeb,
with their untested "better way" of treating and storing water, can get a hefty state contract.
Then Jeb, who's no doubt a shadow owner in the "better" water purification company.
If some children die or get sick, they can say "at least we tried something
while stockpiling tons of cash. Oh, and don't forget the tax increase to fund everything.
Just ask the folks in Arlington Texas how that works.
You see, in the Bush family language, "hampering innovation," means
It means the Bush Brothers aren't getting a cut.
...and, of course, they deserve a cut.
by Nicholas Confessore
Hillary Clinton went on the Today show in early 1998 to defend her husband
against the malefactions of a "vast right-wing conspiracy,"
Since 1996, Regnery has published no less than eight presidential exposés:
Roger Morris'sPartners in Power: The Clintons and Their America,
Bill Gertz's Betrayal: How the Clinton Administration Undermined American Security,
Edward Timperlake's Year of the Rat: How Bill Clinton Compromised U.S. Security for Chinese Cash,
Ann Coulter's High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton,
Ambrose Evans-Pritchard's The Secret Life of Bill Clinton: The Unreported Stories,
Gary Aldrich'sUnlimited Access: An FBI Agent Inside the Clinton White House, and
R. Emmett Tyrrell's The Impeachment of William Jefferson Clinton: A Political Docu-Drama and
Tyrell's Boy Clinton: The Political
To date, five of these books have made various best-seller lists.
This is just one company, run by a cabal of white-power
thugs, making millions
selling lies about the last lawfully-elected president this country had..
Will any critical books be written about President Weak & Stupid and his stolen throne?
Hainan Noon: Bush Is No Gary
by Maureen Dowd in the New York Whore Times
The president got off a helicopter at the White House and barked, "Get me Condi."
It was the bark of an engaged man, a big man, a man who puts his ego aside,
who is unashamed of his reliance on others. The reporters who heard his aides'
account of his need for Condi were plainly moved.
This is the dependence of a truly independent
man, a man who is prepared to leave
the diplomacy to the diplomats and the interior decorating to the interior decorators.
"We must avoid, at all costs, giving Chinese
leaders the impression that they
will profit by challenging America's global responsibilities and substituting
demagoguery and hostility for ... respect and understanding."
-- John McCain, agreeing with the BartCop Doctrine on Non-Capitulation.
Klayman's Reactionary Cruise from Hell
What do Larry Klayman, Gennifer Flowers and Donato "The Fisherman" Dalrymple all have in common?
They are just three of the many Clinton critics
who will embark on a voyage to Mexico, Jamaica
and the Bahamas next month as part of a "Cruise to Clean Up Corruption."
In a letter to supporters of Judicial Watch, Chairman
Larry Klayman (R-No Dick) vows
that the journey will be "filled with fascinating, never-before-told tales and stories"
from opponents of former President Bill Clinton.
The Man with No Dick, The Singer and her Snake, and The Savior of Elian?
I'll bet if I went on that cruise I still couldn't find anyone to debate.
The Bush Body Count
I don't ordinarily do things like The Bush Body Count,
because I know how ridiculous the Clinton Body Count stories were, but...
Clinton's idea of a good time is helping his country and stealing a
The Bush Family has CIA-blood running in the veins and they're looking
to steal a whole lot more than a kiss, and maybe peole get in their way.
Click Here for the superior version.
Click Here for the forever version
But what really caught my eye was this excerpt:
His web site, Liberalism Resurgent, was meticulously
researched and presented such a problem to the "real boss"
of George Bush, Richard Scaife, that Scaife hired a private detective to look into Kangas' past. Steve Kangas was
found in a 39th-floor bathroom outside of Scaife's offices at One Oxford Centre, in Pittsburgh, an apparent suicide.
Mr. Kangas, a very prolific writer, left no note. He had brought a fully-packed suitcase of clothes with him to Pittsburgh.
He bought a burglar alarm
shortly before he left for Pittsburgh.
Why did he need a burglar alarm if he was going to commit suicide?
An avowed advocate of gun control, he nevertheless
bought a gun. What was he afraid of?
Why did he go to Pittsburgh? After his death, his computer was sold for $150 and its hard drive wiped clean.
Everything in his apartment was thrown away.
Why would a man comtemplating suicide buy a burglar alarm?
For benefit of new readers, I "knew" Steve Kangas.
We traded e-mails. I got one from him months after his death, with was kinda creepy.
A Report on Today's Meet the Whore with Tim Russert
"I am here to tell you
we did it right.
There are no apologies necessary on our part.''
--Pilot Lt. Shane Osborn,
agreeing with The BartCop Doctrine on Non-Capitulation,
and disagreeing with his "very sorry" Commander in Thief.
"They knocked an American plane out of
the sky, they kept it and they paid no price for it.
To apologize for the forced landing of our plane on their territory is just incomprehensible to me."
-- that Gary Bauer woman, agreeing with The BartCop Doctrine on Non-Capitualtion.
Wanda Sykes is America's
She's been married for years, but apparently she's now going by Wanda Sykes-Hall.
She did some Comedy Central 30-minute stand-up deal the other
I grabbed about two minutes of her Clinton rant.
She starts out explaining she did a gig for the NOW gang, that
didn't go over real well.
I saved it two ways.
Click Here to save it an an MP3.
Click Here to hear it.
She's the best, learning at the knee of The Master, Chris Rock.
The Carville - O'Reilly debate.
It was clearly a woodshed ass-whoopin'.
Carville went on a four minute rant about Smirky's lying budget.
Carville: "These numbers
are a sham, everbody knows it. Nobody can deny it.
These aren't Democratic numbers or Republican numbers, they're just numbers
that add up to George W. Bush ain't telling the truth and everybody knows that's true."
Carville: Bush promised to govern
from the center, and he's done anything but.
When the right wing said, "We want more arsenic in the water," Bush said OK.
When the right wing said, "We want more CO2 in the air," Bush said OK.
When the right wing said, "We want more tax cuts for the rich," Bush said OK.
When the right wing said, "We want more budget cuts for minorities," Bush said OK.
I didn't see anything resembling a debate, did you?
People said this was a "no fireworks" deal, but they were mistaken.
O'Reilly didn't have the balls to stand up and say, "That's wrong, and I can prove it!"
O'Reilly laid there like a senate Democrat.
In boxing, a 10-8 is very rare.
A 10-8 means you got knocked down a bunch of times.
This was a 10-7.
O'Reilly knew he was unarmed in this battle.
Carville spanked O'Reilly and asked him who his daddy was.
All the right-wing bullies are the same way.
Whenever someone who can handle themselves in a debate is there,
the right-wing bully pull back so far you don't recognize them.
This works every time a Carville, a McDougal, a Conason or Begala is on a show.
This is why Rush doesn't have guests.
If he had on a Democrat who could fight back, he'd have to take back that wilder-than-wild
horseshit he's always saying about Bill and Hillary and Jesse Jackson.
This is why TV talk shows don't have Democrats who fight back, either.
If a Democrat fights back, there's no wild fantasy excursion to ride on.
"What if a coked-up Bill Clinton raped teen virgins in Arkansas?"
If a Democrat says, "Oh, suck me! Prove it happened and we'll talk about
there'd be no show, and the whore media momnster would never get fed.
Pigboy, Laura. Hannity and O'Reilly are all the same - they're cowards.
Cowards spewing horseshit to the braindead, white-power ditto-monkeys.
Subject: Kurt Cobain
Chrones disease is a form of cancer.
Subject: Coward in Chief
No real surprise that the Pretender is taking a pass on going out to
Washington to greet the "heroes" from the spy plane.
First, he'd be forced to stand next to 24 people
who have NOT deserted the military, AND he'd
probably have to talk to a pilot who really CAN fly a plane. No doubt they realize this would up
the Smirky-war-time-deserter factor by about a billion percent.
But much more important is the Bush family take
on how important THEIR vacations are.
Remember at the start of Operation Desert Shield (who makes these things up?) when
Poopy Bush canceled all military leaves, because we were going to war with Iraq?
Immediately after that, Poopy took off on vacation
in Maine, and we were treated to news video
of him feebly demonstrating the size and awesome power of his cock by rampaging around in that
gas-guzzeling cigarette boat he loved so much.
The message was clear. He was saying to our people
in uniform "I need to have as much cheap gas
as possible, so I can continue to rampage around in my cigarette boat, and feebly demonstrate the size
and awesome power of my cock, while I'm on vacation. This means that you folks will just have to pack
in your own vacation plans, your wedding plans, your bar mitzvahs, your christenings, your funerals,
and your fun, and get back to base...............I'm OUTTA HERE.....WEEEE!"
So, Smirky-wartime-deserter is on vacation, and
nothing's going to get in the way of THAT!
I hope he lays an egg.
What a PAIR of Schmucks.
I promise, I will never trust a wartime deserter.
Anne, I think those 24 are heroes in that they put on that uniform.
I have a lot of respect for anyone serving our country that way,
but I'm not sure they've done anything heroic in the last two weeks.
When in Cincinnati, always wear your seat belt.
If you don't, the cops there might shoot you dead,
...unless you're white.
I saw the mayor of Cincinnati saying how sorry he was the
young man was dead.
I wonder, was that the "real" sorry he used?
Or was it the "sorry" President Weak & Stupid uses that doesn't mean sorry?
Subject: The Great and Powerful Bartcop opined...
> You know what else I'm getting tired of?
> I can't turn on the Fascist AM station in K-Drag (KRMG.com) without hearing
> Dennis Miller whoring for Roci copy machines.
It's Ricoh. (I'm in the business, and frankly he's been good for business).
Really? Then maybe you can explain something.
Why is the tape sped up so fast, he sounds like one of the Chipmunks?
> It's not that I have anything against a guy
making a buck, but these commercials
> only run during Laura the Unlaid, Paul Harvey and the vulgar Pigboy show.
got nothing to do with Dennis.
The ads are supplied to your local dealership by Ricoh corp. (which is also Savin and Gestetner).
The Local dealer buys the air time he wants from the local stations. As much as I detest the
Rotund Rabbi of the Radical Right, my company also runs these ads during Rush/Laura's show.
And during Imus in the Morning. And on the Oldies Rock stations, the 'Hot' kids stations
(not sure why for this one) and on the Country stations.
Because there is an audience to reach.
I don't care about their politics, as long as they buy copiers.
There is a whole cadre of products that are ONLY sold to ditto-monkeys.
Damp Rid, Bose radios, Oreck vacuum cleaners, Select-a-hump mattresses, Cold-eze tablets etc etc.
It's my opinion these products are crap, and they can't be sold using normal sales techniques,
so they pay these "personalities" with a cult to whore their defective products.
"If Rush says Damp Rid works, I'll have
to try it."
"If Paul Harvey says Bose radios are great, I'll have to buy one."
Why can't the products sell themselves?
Again, if these same people bought TV time, I might think differently, but these products
are ONLY sold thru white-power ditto-spanks who want Clinton's cock brought to justice.
> That tells me Miller has solidified his contract with the right-wing cock-hunters.
As I said, nothing to do with Dennis.
Looks like we'll have to disagree on that point.
> I'm so old, I remember when Dennis Miller was funny.
still IS funny Bart... You just don't like his jokes.
Just wait, the topic will change again to one more to your liking.
Granted, "funny" is in the eye of the beholder.
But why is he chastizing his audience every week for not laughing?
You can say the change is in my head, but his audience seems to agree with me.
This Just In...
Christina Aguilera was struck by lightning, losing only a toenail and her sense of fashion.
More Evidence for Future
CO2-Induced Global Cooling?
sent in by Larry Kilbride
Click Here then Click Here
Larry, I didn't read either article, but I have a feeling that
co2science.org is funded by the coal, gas
and oil industries, so their "facts" are going to prove whatever theories BIG OIL wants accepted.
But answer this: If global warming is a myth, why are the polar ice caps melting?
Also, on that second article, doesn't a man need credentials
if he's going to try to tell us that our eyes are lying?
I mean "Fred Oliver from Dallas" is saying OSHA and NASA and other
are wrong, but "Fred Oliver from Dallas" is going to straighten them out?
And which coal company does Fred work for?
Subject: The News today on the spy plane
How come your ALWAYS right? (You've won way too many immunity challenges, buddy).
Seriously, from what we NOW hear, it's clear that
Wang Wei caused the collision, 'we were on autopilot':
So he was flying too damn close and got sucked in to the 'undertow'.
Secondly, we signalled MAYDAY 10 times, with no
response from the Chinese.
I went to the Chinese official news website the other day and they kept saying,
like some broken record: "violation of our airspace...not receiving permission to land...
ramming our aircraft' THEY were the ones giving out incendiary information to their
people and the whole world, while we were kept quietly in the dark.
And Smirk fucking apologized!
Koresh, there he goes again.
Subject: Dennis Miller
I watched Dennis Miller, just to see what
he's doing now. Did you see it?
His monologue was straight from the hostage White House!
He's still going after Gore, if you can believe it!!
He said Bush is keeping his promises!!!
What a filthy, dirty whore.
You are correct, Sir.
Here's what I had written before I read your letter:
Dennis Miller doing "How great Smirk is" jokes, if I can use the word jokes loosely.
Bush has kept his pledges.
He's working HARD to give a tax cut for the rich.
He's not slick, not like Clinton.
He can't say it, but he really means it, not like Clinton.
I'd rather have a moron president than one who'd lie about a blowjob.
He's Tim Russert, minus a hundred pounds.
Dennis, you're mostly into "Can't come back territory."
Once you're entirely there, don't bat those baby blues at me in 2003 and beg,
"BartCop, can you help me out, for old time's sake?"
Dennis, you were almost the Mount Everest of Comedy less than
a year ago.
Now you are President Weak & Stupid's whore.
You disgust me.
As much as this is hurting you, think what it's done to me.
I went out on a limb, for you, Babe.
I called you the funniest white man on the planet.
I got lots o' mail asking me to "wake up and dump that loser."
But noooooooooo. I stood with you. I told 'em,
"You're wrong. Dennis is the best non-Chris Rock stand-up on Earth,"
and people wrote, "No, BartCop, he's an arrogant prick."
And I stood up for you,
...and what was my reward?
You became Smirk's Hollywood whore.
The part I can't figure out is, ...your kids already had
their college paid for.
You already have the big, nice house and you and Crystal already drive the Mercedes.
So why'd you turn whore?
Remember all those years when you made fun of phony show business
frauds and assholes?
Remember how we used to laugh with you at the diseased pricks who sold out for more money?
Remember the names you used to call those kinds of people?
And of all the people in the history of politics,
how could you turn whore for President Weak & Stupid?
He's got Nixon's morals and Reagan's brains.
And he's got you, Dennis Miller, sell-out whore.
Gosh, ...that's sad.
You know you're a right-winger if...
Update on the Letterman/Moonves War
Last Friday it was 50 musicians on the payroll.
I just caught the tail end of it, because I was cataloging Dennis Miller's comedycrimes on HBO,
but instead of 50 musicians, Dave had on ten accountants, I'm guessing, to read Dave's
Top Ten Tax Tips or whatever, ...like I say, ...I caught the very end of it.
If contractboy Moonves doesn't like ponying up the dough for fifty musicians,
maybe he'd like to hire ten accountants, who might charge more than scale.
Moonves is losing this PR war with Dave.
Moonves should do like the coward who runs rushonline.com and just surrender.
Don't Listen to Dr. Laura
Her advice is unsound, hypocritical, and cruel
BartCop in the Gym
There's a longer rant that needs to be written...
We've been to the gym nine times, total.
During visit eight, it started getting good to me.
It's a weird feeling, ...getting high off some natural drug in my brain.
I mean, ...can't John Ashcroft find a way to make this illegal?
Jeffords Threatens to Bolt GOP
Sen. James Jeffords (R-Who?) is threatening to
bolt the Party of Stinkin', a move that would hand
Democrats control of the Senate for the first time since Newt Gingrich's 1994 Republican revolution.
The Vermont liberal is shaping up to be a major
thorn in the side of President Weak & Stupid,
which was counting on GOP unity to pass his tax swindle in the Senate. But weeks ago
Jeffords came out against the Bush plan and hasn't budged since.
Asked what he would do if GOP Senate leaders punished
him for his opposition,
Jeffords replied, "It's only a short walk across the aisle."
This may look like good news, but don't get your hopes up.
If Jeffords comes over to the side of light, it won't makre a damn bit of sifference.
As long as the fake Democrats are in love with President W&S,
getting Jeffords will just mean we'll lose 55-45 instead of 56-44.
Bush, Cheney Earnings Documented
President Weak & Stupid earned $894,800
Dick Cheney took in $36 million.
The Bush family paid $240,342 in federal taxes,
the Cheneys $14.3 million.
What a joke.
Cheney went from $36,000,000 a year to a mere $200,000?
Cheney went from being Big Dick to being Smirky's number two?
The oil companies bankrolled Smirk 'n Dick so they could raise prices!
I don't care in California hasn't built any energy plants in fifty
We had all the cheap energy we needed when Clinton was president.
Come back, Bill Clinton. Come back!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.