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Volume 560 - The Big Dog

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 August 18, 2001.  ..... ...  .............  Sabutai Concert Today


"Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign
  for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush, he can't just name a replacement.
  He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies"
   -- Leno


Subject: Oh what the hell...One more time!


Regarding Nader, I've noticed a few times recently the words "It's the math..." or "Do the math..."
yet very little math is ever provided.  So how 'bout this math?  In 1996 roughly 49% of voting age
people bothered to come to the polls, in 2000 it was (again, roughly) 52%.  Nader received close
to 3% in 2000.  Now I'm not saying that the 3% difference between '96 and '00 is all Nader, but it
does strengthen the argument that a great majority of voters for Nader would not have turned out if
not for his presence...suggesting Nader took those votes from Gore (or anyone else for that matter)
is a little disingenuous.  So, yes, let's do the math.

M. Kircher

I've been reluctant to go there, but what the hell..

I'm suspicious of these "leftists" that gave Bush his victory.
Oh, they looooooooooove to tell us the party needs to move left,
a move that would probably repeat the disasters of 1980, 1984 and 1988

I now agree with you that Nader votes wouldn't necessarily be for Gore.

When a group gets together and does exactly what Karl Rove wants,
maybe it's a mistake to consider them anything but Bush Republicans.

We have Bush's 48 plus Nader's 3 on one side of the see-saw.
On the other side is Gore's 49 percent.

51 beats 49 when I do the math.

When you look at it that way, maybe Bush actually won.

One other thought...

Bush was drowning in so much corporate money,
he didn't have to ask for matching federal funds.

...and THIS is the guy Nader helped put in the White House? send Al Gore a message?

That's horseshit.  story leads to justice
 Photo lab pictures lead to arrests, five weeks after discovery
 Forgotten rape victim rescued, charges filed againt five pervs

 Click  Here

 After a month of inactivity, Tulsa police have made five arrests.
 How did these clever detectives find the perps?

 The pictures they developed July 12 showed a vehicle with a license tag
 -- plus street intersection signs and a house address number --
 that led investigators to Crawford, said an affidavit by Detective Marnie Waller.

 So if you're thinking about committing a crime, don't do it in Tulsa.
 Because if the cops have your goddamn home address, within five weeks
 they'll be able to track you down and figure out where you live.

 Don't let anyone tell you they're not sharp as a whip in K-Drag, Oklahoma

 Y'know, I'll bet the newer readers have never been
 to the Laura Schlessinger nasty-ass picture page.

 This is one reason  has been banned from many search engines
 and blocked by many I-know-what's-good-for-you employers.

 But if these nude pictures or Fraulien Schlessinger are nasty and obscene,
 why isn't her site banned and blocked? Is she not the guilty party here?

 Click  Here  but make sure there's no children standing behind you.

 I don't often say this but  Click  Here  to see a great web page.

 A very rare double shot of Chinaco   to Caro

for her efforts at and her Hall of Fame Shame

 Words of Wisdom

 If you give a Democrat a cow he will milk it,
 drink all he wants and give the rest to the poor.

 If you give a Republican a cow he will pay a Democrat
 to milk the cow for less than the minimum wage, then fabricate
 a milk shortage and then sell it the milk at grossly inflated prices.

 ...and Rush and Fox News will swear there is a milk shortage.

 Are you tired of living?

 Have you had your fill of this planet and its back-stabbing inhabitants?
 Have you grown weary of living in this rat race?
 Have you - simply put - had enough?

 Click  Here

From: Lanny the Insane

Subject: Another Clinton and Hitler similarity

Gore Vidal compared Tim McVeigh to Paul Revere.
At the Edinburgh book festival, the elder statesman of the Gore political dynasty

What the hell does that mean?

...said McVay wanted to send out a warning that the government had been bought
by corporate America and "its secret police, the FBI, were out of control.
What McVeigh was saying was, 'The Feds are coming, the Feds are coming' "

"Within a week of the bombing, Clinton signed anti-terrorist legislation for
'the protection of the state and of persons', using the exact language
that Adolf Hitler used after the Reichstag fire of 1933."

Just a coincidence?

No, it's just a foolish Clinton-hating fool trying to attract attention.
Jesus, Lanny, I'd like to have a dialog with you, but you're so far out with your wild accusations.

Is it possible McVeigh felt like he had a important message? Yes.
But murdering 160 kids and innocent people is a bad way to spread that message.

Is it possible Gore Vidal is an insane fuck?
No, that seems to be a certainty.

Is it possible Hitler cloaked his hatred for minorities in diplomatic language?
Sure, the Republicans do it every day.

Clinton wasn't Hitler, and this isn't late 30's Germany.
Don't you understand that you sound crazy?
If you and Mancow and Dick Armey were all in the same room,
and someone asked me to point to the nut, I'd have to think about the answer.

"The scariest media merger yet."

The National Organization for Women has asked CNN to drop any plans it might have
to air the vulgar Pigboy, saying such a union would be "the scariest media merger yet."

NOW President Kim Gandy urged CNN against "bringing Limbaugh's bigoted rantings
to the cable news market. ... CNN's image will be forever tarnished by giving someone
like Limbaugh an even bigger microphone."

Limbaugh, who has derided CNN as the "Clinton News Network" for what he views as its liberal bias,
is widely reported to have been courted by the beleaguered cable channel to host his own show.
CNN is in a ratings battle with the conserva-Nazi .

CNN is a unit of AOL Time Warner Inc.
Fox is owned by Rupert Murdoch (R-German).


"All of these reports out of Florida about voter fraud and people being
  kept away from the polls there is no proof. Its a lot of hearsay.
    -- Juan Williams, winner of R. Murdoch's "Good boy" award 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2001

 From: Sparky in Dallas

 Subject: JH Steele

 Saw your missive today about Ms Steele's problems.
 What struck me was your statement about her "paid for" house getting foreclosed on.
 Having been on both sides of the mortgage biz for 20 some years, I can state this is not possible.
 The only way a "paid for" home can be foreclosed on is for back taxes by the county,  or a lien of
 some sort filed by a contractor, etc. If the bank has a lien of some type, that may be the case,
 but if the house is "paid for" then there is no mortgage to be foreclosed on.
 Bankruptcy would be a solution.

 Sparky from Dallas

 Sparky, I'm in the loan business, myself

 I don't know her specifics, but say the house was worth $500K and she owes $450K in atty fees,
 then she lost your job and is still on crutches after falling off a ladder.

 All you can do is sell the house before the bank forecloses.
 Besides, I'll bet the lawyers have liens on the house or she'd be in jail right now.
 In America, if you don't have the cash, you go right to f-ing jail.

 Send her $5.


 "One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C.,
    is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is uh, ...a cell deal
    you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone."
      -- El Busto, nuttier than a box of chocolates from The South's Finest


Subject: "Perot"-itis


I've been reading your page for months now to try to get the scoop on what some of the most
diehard, rabid liberals have been up to since the election, and here's what I've found:

1) You're so obsessed with how "wrong" the Nader voters were for having convictions that
went beyond mere party line that you end up alienating members of your own party. Great job!
You can add up all of the statistics and numbers you'd like, but math doesn't account for people's
opinions; and unlike math, opinions are hard to change if they're constantly derided. Just ask us about Perot.

I'm not upset with nader voters for having convictions.
I'm upset with them helping Gilliagn get in the White House

2) While I think your little cartoons mocking Bush and the like are cleverly done, I have yet to see
a liberal Democrat present an argument or criticism without resorting to ad-hominem, no-brainer cliches.
For a vocal critic of Mo Dowd, it's almost as if you've graduated from her class in lowbrow journalism.
Still, what does one expect from the party of the uneducated and uncouth? "Jerky Boys" journalism
will never, ever make the mainstream.

ha ha
You've never seen ?
Sure, we do a little name-calling in the Treehouse, but if you're saying I have 558 issues
of nothing but personal attacks, you're lying to yourself to cover your guilt.

3) According to BartCop, Clinton wasn't just another corrupt politician... based on his version of the
word "corrupt". It takes a corrupt party (the party of Chappequa Ted) to finely tune a corrupt politician.


"Corrupt" compared to whom?
Show me a politcian who doesn't take big cash from big business
and I'll show you a loser with 3 percent of the vote.

1 was wrong
2 was stupid
3 made no sense.

You can do better.

...but thanks for reading

What Weak & Stupid Gave to China

While the close encounter between an American spy plane and a Chinese fighter last April
led to expressions of regret, U.S. officials are really sorry about what amounts to an intelligence
coup for the Chinese. Despite outward appearances, the Lockheed EP-3E Aries II spy plane
that landed on China's Hainan Island is the most modern spy plane the Navy flies.

EP-3s are SIGNIT (Signals Intelligence) aircraft -- meaning that they sniff around the borders
of a country sucking up electromagnetic emissions from radars, cellphones, computers, and fax
machines like a sponge. This particular EP-3 can uplink processed data via secure satellite links.

Even more sensitive than the gear are the algorithms and programs driving the computers.
Onboard code-breakers can detect and decode transmissions in near real-time and distribute
the data to other ships and aircraft within 500 miles using a sensitive device called Link 11.

Among the other top-secret items aboard:
Big Look, a long-range radar and signals gatherer.
Story Book, a signals collection suite that works with Link 11.
Story Classic, a communications and intelligence system.
Story Teller, a device that compares, classifies, and correlates signals and transmits analyzed data in real-time.

Military sources say the Chinese now have a better understanding of how these systems work.

--Mark Farmer in Popular Science, June 2001

...and then Smirk apologized and wrote them a check!

A story for Democrats

A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a magnificent gate that looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, he saw a man at a desk.
He called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road
and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, he came to a simple farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence, but he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place
 that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said.
"The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold gate?
 Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that
  they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind."

  I am disgusted by the way the Democrats treated their best friend.

 The man who taught them how to win again at the polls.
 The man who was the first Democrat to win back to back elections since World War fucking Two.
 The man who gave us eight years of peace and unprecendented prosperity.
 The man who reduced crime and tripled the stock market.
 The man who never sent a man into battle who didn't come home.
 The man who won a war with air power alone - without losing a single soldier.
 The man who survived impeachment by a wild, cock-hungry congress.
 The man who is easily, easily, the most investigated man in history.

 Tell me, before you condemn Bill Clinton for his "moral lapses," if a religiously insane asshole came
 after YOU with unlimited time, unlimited money, more FBI agents than investigated TWA Flight 800
 and the Tim McVeigh massacre combined and subpoena power to threaten every friend you ever had
 with 'death in prison' if they didn't cooperate, how well would YOU do under the microscope?

 It's reeeeeeeeeal easy to say bad things about Bill Clinton and his "flaws,"
 because nobody else in history has been looked at so closely.

 ...and how did the Democrats and America repay Bill Clinton for not only working
 eighteen hour days for eight years, but having the fantastic results to show for it?

 They believed  and Pigboy when they said he trashed the White House.

 They believed  and Pigboy when they said he stripped Air Force One.

 They believed  and Pigboy when they said he sold pardons for cash.

 They believed  and Pigboy when they said he stole furniture from the White House.

 ...but at, we called those charges horseshit  the very first day. was the first publication in America to ask, "Where are the pictures?

 We had and still have faith in The Big Dog.
 At  we don't leave our friends behind.

 ...and thank Koresh for people like Julie Hiatt Steele and Susan McDougal,
 who risked everything to save a president from these religiously insane cock-hunters.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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