Fair & balanced
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMEN
AND SOMETIMES WE GIVE JOHN FUND A BAD TIME
Before we name
more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan,
PayPal to email@example.com
POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
Now is a good time to order
the best chocolate in the world.
Tell 'em Bart sent ya,
Tim Russert is such a sellout whore
I watched Meet the Whore Sunday morning, and every time Russert
"Should we delay the tax CUT until we get out of the recession?" Paul O'Neill
and John McCain both said, "We'd be crazy to RAISE taxes during a recession."
Nobody said anything about raising taxes, but Russert
the partisan dullard just sat there
and let both O'Neill and McCain twist his question like a drunken pretzel.
O'Neill said it twice and McCain said it once and Timmy just took it.
Remember during Monica, when Russert was a pit bull?
He'd ask Charlie Rangel if Clinton licked Monica's left breast first or her right breast first, and when
Rangel said, "Tim, I have absolutely no idea because I wasn't there," Russert would scream,
"STOP DODGING!! STOP DODGING AND ANSWER MY QUESTION, SIR!!
The Bush cash giveaway to the super-rich affects hundreds of
millions of Americans
but Russert the obedient puppy knows his place is to remain silent on the big issues.
After all, he works for Jack Welch who ordered the election called for Weak & Stupid.
But when the "issue" was what's inside Clinton's pants, he's a goddamned determined bulldog.
"On the morning of September 11th, when we
walked into the classroom, I had seen this
plane fly into the first building. There was a TV set on. And you know, I thought it was pilot error
and I was amazed that anybody could make such a terrible mistake. And something was wrong
with the plane, or -- anyway, I'm sitting there, listening to the briefing, and Andy Card came
and said, "America is under attack."
-- The Unelected Fraud
Repeatedly, he says he saw the first plane hit the tower.
Either he's just lying thru his teeth or he can't string enough words together to form a coherent thought.
Footage of the first plane flying into the building wasn't available until after the towers collapsed.
by Al Martin
Secretary Rumsfeld has said that the United States is determined to feed the Afghani people.
He admits that we're dropping all this stuff on them -- and they don't even know that it's food.
They've never seen stuff like this before.
The tribal chieftain was seen holding up
an MRE (Meals Ready to Eat) of spaghetti and meatballs.
He says that they didn't know what it was, but that they determined finally that it was lamb's brains
and tomato sauce. But he said he couldn't figure out why there were little lumps of horseshit in it.
He was referring to the meatballs.
How to subvert the funny papers
Subject: Over Bush's dead body
The Cowardly Lyin' did it again...
Bush: "Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes"
So, does that mean if they attempt to raise taxes President Poopy Pants will run away to Nebraska again?
Jeez. This guy spends more time running away than
the Italian army.
"There's nothing more important for America
than for Mexico
to be strong and vibrant to have good growth."
-- President Dumbass, Saturday
Nothing is more important for America than a strong Mexico?
Subject: Extremely Difficult Question
Question: Has Bush accomplished anything good or positive during his first year in office?
"Mr. President, I'm a Navy chaplain, serving
with the Marines in 29 Palms, California.
My question: How can we, as pastors, pray specifically for you and your family?"
The chaplain wants to know how he can pray for Bush?
Think that's stupid?
Wait until you read President Moron's answer...
"I think the thing that -- the prayer that
I would like America is to ask for is
to pray for God's protection for our land and our people, to pray against...
-- that there's a shield of protection that protects the country."
That spiritual shield didn't protect us very well on September 11, now did it?
Koresh, at least that goofy Star Wars has a chance to work...
Remember Chandra Levy?
"Page Six" reports that on Laura Ingraham's
Westwood One radio show Dec. 20,
Vanity Fair's Dominick Dunne said "he was working with the FBI" on the Levy case
"and has 'uncovered new leads' which show that Levy may have stumbled into a noxious
ring of prostitution, sex slaves and Middle Eastern sheiks in Washington, D.C."
Dunne said he had been contacted by "a world-renowned
who helps prepare racehorses for Middle Eastern businessmen." Dunne says the horse expert
met a Middle Eastern man this summer who claimed that "on or after April 30, he saw Levy
being put on a private jet, surrounded by five men, 'but she wasn't walking.'"
The FBI "is trying to identify" the "well-connected" Middle Easterner, who is described as
"a 'procurer' of young women for Middle Eastern diplomats in Washington" (New York Post, 12/22).
Remember what was said at the time on bartcop.com?
"What if Condit introduced Levy to his cocaine dealer, and the coke dealer did away with her?"
Looks like it may have been prostitution instead of cocaine,
but whatever it was,
Condit knew if he was connected to her disappearance, he was unelectable or going to jail.
THIS may be why he could only answer certain questions.
It would explain why her body was never found, too.
We know he's guilty, otherwise he would have helped that poor
girl when she needed it.
Condit needs to talk - maybe Chandra is still alive.
Subject: Chinaco, tequila ratings, and Train Station chicken
You inspired me a while ago to go out and get
a bottle of Chinaco Anejo. I have to admit that after
my first drink,
I was left with a feeling of "post Chinacal let-down." But, since I blew 50 bones on the bottle, I figured I'd continue
to drink it from time to time. Now, I am a Chinaco fanatic. In my estimation, a fine tequila is like a fine red wine
-- one needs to refine one's palate in order to fully enjoy its complexities and quality. Thanks for the turn-on.
I also gave the train
station chicken a try last week. It was outstanding, and
was even better the next day! One piece
of advice, you recommend that the oil is "boiling hot" and that your stove is one notch down from high heat to heat the oil.
I burned my first chicken breast using those instructions. I'd recomment starting on medium heat and turn it up if needed.
Now, about the guy who said that Chinaco
is a 6 of 10 on any tequila connessieur's rating scale...everywhere
I've seen Chinaco rated, whether blanco, reposado, or the sweet, sweet anejo, the rating has always been the
highest possible. Whoever sent that assessment of Chinaco doesn't know a bottle of Mezcal from his ass!
Thanks for the food and drink tips!
GOP Chickenhawks Revisited
Subject: You were right
Scanning your site today, you correctly stated Hoover presided over the depression.
I thought I caught you saying Coolidge, but you didn't make a mistake and I apologize.
Robert, words are tricky things.
True, Hoover "presided over" the depression, but they say Coolidge caused it.
Coolidge's Republican idiocy set events in motion and the economy crashed
two years later when Hoover was driving the big bus.
So, technically, Coolidge didn't have a recession but he caused the BIG one.
Giuliani Gang 2002
Giuliani Organizes a Massive Cover-up of His Record
by Robert Lederman as seen on Barbara Hartwell's page
I found out The Freedom Forum is the source of that nutty
that claims 89 percent of Washington reporters voted for Clinton.
A letter I wrote to firstname.lastname@example.org
Can somebody tell me about this poll that "proved"
of all journalists in Washington were Clinton partisans?
I'd be interested in ALL the information you have.
If this isn't the right place to ask,
please recommend a web site, would you?
The GOP uses this as "proof" the media is biased
and I want to see the proof for myself.
I'm telling you right now - this is horseshit!
I can't wait to see their "proof."
For one, check out this paragraph from FreedomForum.org
The poll revealed that 89 percent of Washington
reporters voted for Clinton in 1992,
along with 60 percent of newspaper editors across the country.
Yet only 43 percent of voting Americans did so.
The phrase "yet only" speaks volumes.
It tells me the Freedom Forum has an agenda.
If the phrase "yet only" was changed to "compared with,"
it would reach much differently and much more honestly.
I wonder why they didn't take the honest route?
I wonder why they had to slant thing in the anti-Clinton direction?
Besides, we have other flaws here.
If they were interested in accuracy, the sentence would've read,
"89 percent TOLD US they voted for Clinton."
The Freedom Forum can't say how people voted - they can only report
what they were told.
To state what they were told as a fact is shit reporting anyway you look at it.
If I tell a reporter I can fly, he ought not to write, "BartCop, who
He's supposed to write, "BartCop, who claims he can fly..."
See the difference?
I await their "evidence," but I'll tell you right now: I think
they're lying and their evidence better be perfect
and air-tight or I'll bust this scam wide open and make fools of everyone who quoted them including the vulgar
Pigboy and Bernard Goldberg, the nut who wrote Bias in the Media, and especially Fox whore news.
"You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan,
because when you quote him accurately it's called mudslinging."
-- Walter Mondale
There once was a newspaper editor,
Who thought no one should know that he'd bedded her.
But she got him on tape,
And, boy, he went ape.
Now he's known as a sexual predator.
There once was a cur named John Fund.
A mother and daughter he ruined.
But, now, he's been hosed.
The south end of a north bound dachshund!
This Just In...
My sources say John Fund has been fired
by the Whore Street Journal.
Was he fired for committing crimes?
Is that why he's getting married?
To silence the witness, his wife-to-be?
Was he fired to put distance between his crimes and the Whore Street Journal?
...see you at the wedding, John.
Wild, wild stuff!
Operation 911- No Suicide Pilots
There were no "suicide" pilots on those September 11 jets. The jets were
controlled by advanced robotics and remote-control technology, not hijackers.
Down" – Hollywood drags
bloody corpse of truth across movie screens
By Larry Chin as seen on Online Journal
Contrary to the legend, the 1993 Somalia raid was not a "Clinton foreign policy bungle."
In fact, the incoming Clinton administrationinherited an operation that was already in full swing
-- planned and begun by outgoing President George Herbert Walker Bush, spearheaded by
deputy national security adviser Jonathan Howe (who remained in charge of the UN operation
after Clinton took office), and approved by Colin Powell, then head of the Joint Chiefs.
The operation had nothing to do with humanitarianism
or Africa-love on the part of Bush or Clinton.
Several US oil companies, including Conoco, Amoco, Chevron and Phillips were positioned to exploit
Somalia's rich oil reserves. The companies had secured billion-dollar concessions to explore and drill
large portions of the Somali countryside during the reign of pro-US President Mohamed Siad Barre.
(In fact, Conoco's Mogadishu office housed the US embassy and military headquarters.)
There's so much stuff on BartCop
Entertainment I can't keep up.
She has a Survivor Update (going into the last show this Thgursday)
She has a report on Portland protestors giving Weak & Stupid a bad time.
A special report on Halle Berry going topless again, this time for James Bond.
A roundup of last night's AFI Awards, which was a rubout by The Sopranos.
Charlize Theron was photographed smoking an apple bong, whatever that is ...and more.
Better click and see.
Happy Birthday to...
Nancy Drew is 47 Diane Keaton is 55
Plus, Robert Duvall is 70, Walter Mondale is 73, and The
Crazy Diamond is 55,
Howie Long is 41, Washington Times owner Sun Myung Moon is 81 .
I wonder what present the Bush Family Evil Empire will get him?
Malcolm Young (AC/DC) is 48 today, and George (Superman) Reeves
would be 87 if they
hadn't shot him in the head and covered it up. I mean, do the LA cops ever solve a crime?
I think Bugliosi was the last decent prosecutor they had.
"I learned a lesson on 9/11. I
learned that we were vulnerable.
I'm more vigilant now. I get up early. I meet with the FBI
and ask them what they are doing about this threat."
-- Bush, admitting he was less than vigilant before Septemer 11th.
Maybe he should take fewer vacations and do a little more work?
Go on and help the terrorists.
Your time is coming.
by Cliff Downing
I owe, I owe, it’s those credit cards you know!
bartcop.com reader Kevin Alexander had a few hundred of these printed up and sent them to me.
They has an adhesive back, so they'll stick on stuff.
He suggested we have a contest to see who can think of the most imaginative places to stick it,
but the sticker is probably hell to remove, so I wouldn't want people putting them on windshields or
any place where it'd be considered vandalism, but if you, the reader, would like some of these,
mail a self-addressed, stamped envelope to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
and I'll send you 5 or 10, whatever you need.
This isn't meant as a fund-raising gimmick, but if you want to send
a pittance to help grow
the hammer higher with your self-addressed stamped envelope - that'd be acceptable.
Then, if you attach the sticker to a fun place and send me a picture.
I'll run it, but don't do the vandalism thing, OK?
The sticker you see is actual size, so if you stuck it on the bumper
of a local fascist monster,
it probably would not be considered vandalism, because it's so small, but you be the judge of that.
...and thanks to Kevin Alexander for the stickers.
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