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Volume 882 - Ann Slanders


Wednesday   Sept 4, 2002.................................... .............................................. 
 VCR Alert - O.J. - The True Hollywood Story is this Sunday night on E!
  They're promising he's going to "tell all," which is a lie, but maybe he'll say something, or drop some clue.
  Isn't "How did he do it?" one of the great unanswered questions of our time?
  I'll watch it so you don't have to.  Hell, I listen to Rush, I can sure handle OJ for two hours.


"I love when Republicans pretend that they're for prescription drug entitlement,
  they're for Medicare, they're for Social Security. This year's election is the
  greatest right-wing cross dressing since J. Edgar Hoover hung up his brassiere."
         --Paul Begala, Crossfire, 09/03/02

 Humiliation for Powell at Earth summit

  Click  Here

 The US Secretary of Failed Excuses, Colin Powell was booed, heckled and jeered
 as he tried to defend America's environmental record on the closing day of the world
 summit in Johannesburg today.  Delegates from non-governmental groups in the
 audience repeatedly interrupted his speech, chanting: "Shame on Bush".

 Poor Colin Powell.
 He's at the whim of the stupidest man he's ever met - and hung out to dry,
 his opinions dismissed and ridiculed by a moron who's not even a semi-colon.

 We know why Powell was hired - to make it appear that Bush could tolerate darkies.
 If Powell was half-a-man, he wouln't stand for this abuse. If these oil pirates are going to
 blindside him, again and again - why does he stay?  What price prestige?

 Isn't he harming the image of the successful black man by being a stooge for Bush?
 Young black kids across America, and indeed the world, will learn from Powell that
 if a black man wants to make it, he must find the son of the owner, kiss his ass,
 and be humiliated by him again and again if he wants to get ahead.

 How sad.

click for more

 Also, tonight is the West Wing rerun where Leo has to tell Jed that he needs to stop
 being such a weenie liberal dove and stand up and do what needs to be done.
 A scumbag needs dying, and Jed the Dove would rather wring his hands and worry.

 I suppose the ditto-monkeys will say this is a parallel to Iraq, but the difference is,
 on tonight's West Wing they have actual proof that the guy needs dying.
 It's not just a case of an unelected president trying to steal somebody else's oil.

 Wild Off, where Brooke Burke (from Vegas!) hands her crown to a lesser on E!

 Funny, it turned out to be a pretty good show - Mega-Vegas-fever-wise.
 I forget, I guess they had all twelve girls each go to different attractions.
 It could've been stupider and I still would've enjoy it.  How rare is that?

 One gal took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
 That's cool even if you've seen it a dozen times.

 One girl went to see Blue Man Group, which looked good in this segment.
 Apparently they really mess with your visual orientation, a real Humboltd moment.

 One went to Lake Mead, to water ski and jet ski. Is that a great-looking lake, or what?
 One went for an ATV ride at dusk in the Valley of Fire State Park, a windowpane moment..

 One went to clown around with the Circus Circus circus.  They sent the Playmate
 of the Decade  to wear the Empire State Building like that one I Love Lucy episode.
 Another went to Excalibur and did something, jousting maybe...

 One went to see Penn & Teller, and they did some knife-throwing tricks with her,
 another got sawed in half by Lance Burton, inching my Vegas Fever up a notch..

 The winner, Cindy Taylor, got to drive a Shelby at high speeds.
 I had previously handicapped Cindy as a half-Brooke, while Brittany was an eighth-Brooke.
 The others weren't even 1/16th-Brookes, so Cindy stole the show and won the gig.

 The had some great views of the city from The Palm's Ghost Bar.
 Boy, what I wouldn't give to hold the big Fest in a place like The Ghost Bar,
 but they probably want hundreds of dollars to rent that place.

 Ok, I'm done.
 You just can't expect something that good about Vegas to be on without a mention.


"...if Iraq is attacked and countries such as Saudi Arabia are destablised ...the price of oil
 could soar to as high as £40 a barrel, double its current level. It would choke the recovery
 of the US economy after September 11 and trigger a domino effect around the globe.
         --Oonagh Blackman,  mirror.co.uk

 Sure, but Bush's oil buddies would get filthier richer - isn't that the point?
 Isn't that the real reason we're about to sacrifice a few hundred brave men?

 So the B.F.E.E. can get richer than their wildest dreams?

"Bart, he's our president!
  Be nice a nice dove, like us!"

 71% of Brits against a war on Iraq without UN approval


 "Saddam Hussein poses a grave threat to the world and must be stopped!"
    -- Tony Blair said Tuesday, bucking the tide of public sentiment and trying
        to rally international support for U.S.-led action against Iraq

 What the "F" is wrong with Tony Blair?
 Is he tired of being in politics?

 Has he squirreled away some money, and now he's ready to retire?
 Why in the wide, wide world of sports would he commit political suicide for the Bush boy?

 Is he being blackmailed?

 Consumer Consumption
 Have Faith O Ye Liberals


 Y'know those nutty "I am the former foreign minister of Uganda," letters?
 "Send me $6000, and I'll give you $40 million when my bank cheque clears."

 They think we'll fall for it if they spell "check" funny.

 I'm getting 6-8 of those a day now, but they've come up with a whole new angle:

 I am Sheikh Shehu Musa Mustapha, a business tycoon from Iraq, presently in prison
 in iraq for the past four years, for my alledged assistance to the american government
 against my motherland iraq (treason), which i happen to know nothing about.
 My detractors have finally put me to shame,but i leave them to their own fate.

 ha ha

 I'm sure your money's safe with an Iraqi prisoner named Musa Mustapha!
 I mean, can I have a week to liquidate all my assests to send to you?

 ha ha

 The saddest part is, think of the millions they'll make just from ditto-monkeys.

Please Lord, let Bart do a Bonus Issue on Friday!

 Where's Osama?
    by my good friend Ted Rall

  Click  Here

 Some experts doubt that the U.S. was ever serious about capturing Osama. If he went on trial for 9-11,
 after all, his testimony about his years with the CIA could prove devastatingly embarrassing. This explains,
 they say, why Bush refused Taliban offers to turn over bin Laden, why Donald Rumsfeld bombed rather
 than invaded by ground, why Colin Powell never asked Pakistan to seal the border, why General Tommy
 Franks relied on unreliable local troops. And the Tora Bora escape tale doesn't jibe with Afghan topography
 or local eyewitnesses, who say that Osama left for Pakistani Kashmir --a far more typical exit for fleeing
 Afghans than the tribal areas of the Northwest Frontier Province--days after 9-11.

 Hypocrisy now!
  Pot calls kettle 'evildoer'
   by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 Excuse me: I don't want to be tacky or anything, but hasn't it occurred to anyone that
 sending Dick Cheney out to champion an invasion of Iraq on the grounds that Saddam Hussein
 is a "murderous dictator" is somewhere between bad taste and flaming hypocrisy?

 When Dick Cheney was CEO at Halliburton, he did $23.8 million in business with
 Saddam Hussein, the evildoer "prepared to share his weapons of mass destruction with terrorists."

 So if Saddam is "the world's worst leader," how come Cheney sold him the
 equipment to get his dilapidated oil fields up and running
 so he to could afford to build weapons of mass destruction?

 Yep, this administration couldn't survive a free press.
 If this was a question about Clinton's zipper, the whore press would ask 10,000 questions.
 Remember Tim the Whore badgering White House staffers for details about Clinton's cock?
 He couldn't stop talking about it - "because we have a right to know the truth."
   a whore named Tim

 But since it's just another example of the GOP arming terrorists, the press lets it slide.

 ...just like Mr. Rove ordered.

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 Subject: Nuns at Catholic grade schools

 Hi, Bartcop.

 I spent eight years in a catholic grade school where almost all the teachers were nuns, as was the principal.
 In those eight years, I saw (and heard of) my share of abuse.  Of course, this was in the 60's, so corporal
 punishment was still in vogue.

 But I'm writing to point out that, while this was reprehensible, it was far from common.  Of the couple
 dozen nuns I knew, only two or three should have been relegated to an institution instead of teaching.
 In fact, I think at least one of them was!

 On the plus side, I remember the summer when I was 14 (just graduated from grade school) and had to
 have emergency surgery for an injury. When I woke up after surgery, there were two nuns in my room
 from my grade school (my mother had left the room for a few minutes.)  They were just sitting there reading.
 In my post-anasthetic stupor, I asked what they were doing there.  Their reply was that they had walked
 down from the convent (a good three miles) to be sure someone would be with me when I woke up.

 I guess what I'm saying is that, in my experience, almost all the nuns we kids knew were very smart and
 compassionate people who took a great deal of interest in the development and well-being of their young charges.
 These women remained friends of our family for many years until the school was closed and they went back east.

 Love your site!


 Sally, when I was 16, I knew some good ones, too.
 When I had my broken femurs, nuns and priests were always coming by, the nuns gave me "foot rubs"
 and the priest played chess with me, everyday (kicked my ass - every time).  I even had a "private priest,"
 who'd say Mass in my hospital room. It was so funny, because I was the same way then as I am now.

 The priest would start in with some Catholic voodoo and I'd stop him and ask if he was really serious.
 Anytime he'd start with that "sheep and the flock" business, I'd groan and roll my eyes.
 He'd explain to me his point of view, and we'd debate, right there during my private mass.
 I was always respectful of him, but I never pulled any punches. He never gave up on me,
 so yes, if I've given the impression that they're all guilty, that was not my intention.

 That was a nice memory - I haven't thought of either of them in a decade or two - thanks.

click for details


"Labor Day is not just a picnic festival.
  Workers are under assault...
  We lost 2 million jobs in two years,
  and Bush is playing terror like a one-string guitar."
        -- Jesse Jackson

 Subject: If our jets can do this, why didn't they?
       by Deadhead

  Click  Here

 Why didn't they? They did, allegedly.  ...the theory isn't that the AWACs failed to act,
 but that they directed the flights of those planes, likely without suicide pilots at all.

 Boy, think of what we could learn if America had a free press...

  Equipment failure or ... ?
 Nevada Gaming board looking into UNLV power snafu

   Click  Here

 The Nevada Gaming Control Board plans to investigate the power outage that brought a
 premature end -- and triggered a wave of conspiracy theories -- to Wisconsin's 27-7 win
 over UNLV Aug. 31 in Las Vegas, says a board official.

Click to go to   www.blockbush.com

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"When Bush took office, surrounded by a well-seasoned, experienced Cabinet, many were
  willing to believe that even if Dubya himself was something of a dim bulb, the light and
  competence emanating from those around him would lift him up and make the government
  look good. But after 9/11, and more recently, it seems more and more evident that these guys,
  with their limited short-term blinders on, don't really know what the hell they're doing, other
  than blustering their way through with threats and aggressive behavior."
      --Bernard Weiner, truthout.org

 Cunning Plan, Or Just Insanity?
    by smoking Joe Conason

   Click  Here

 "...Colin Powell and Dick Cheney, seem to be involved in a potentially costly game of "chicken. "
 between themselves rather than with the dictator of Baghdad. Mr. Cheney’s allies in the media
 have relentlessly assaulted Mr. Powell as an "appeaser," while Mr. Powell has stood up against
 their pressure (even as damaging news of his possible early resignation leaked in Time magazine.)

  Quips & Comments
        by Barry Crimmins

   Click  Here

 The other night, as I listened to Dennis Miller compare sparing Iraq of unilateral assault
 with Neville Chamberlin's acquiescence to Hitler, I was relieved to realize that the last
 of his intelligent writers must have finally escaped.

 So we are to believe Saddam is in the same position today that Hitler was in 1939?
 Yeah, and if Dennis Miller isn't stopped he'll become the next Will Rogers.

 I suppose Miller's Iraq comments were inevitable -- two years on MNF gave him plenty
 of practice making public pronouncements about things of which he knew nothing.

 Now that he's done with NBC and Tribune Broadcasting and ABC and HBO,
 Miller is apparently auditioning for a spot on FOX News.

 Barry, was kidding, right?
 Maybe not.
 Last night on Leno, former comedian Miller went into his "we must murder everyone" rant,
 then closed with, "But what do I know? I'm not even an Irish rock singer."

 Then he whined about losing two high-profile jobs this year.

 Dennis, if you continue to allign yourself with President Weak & Stupid,
 your only real chance at employment might be Fox News.

 Good stuff, Barry!


"Vietnam taught us that we cannot win and should not undertake
  a military adventure unless an overwhelming majority of ordinary
  citizens are convinced that America's vital interests are in peril."
        -- Miles B. Anderson, Sag Harbor, N.Y.

by The Pieman

 Want to see something really funny?
 White House in disarray over Cheney speech
    by Julian Borger in Washington

 George Bush has moved to distance himself from Whistle Dick Cheney

 after he learned a sabre-rattling speech on Iraq by Cheney was made
 without clearing key points with the White House.

 Proof I'm not Lying

 ha ha

 Cheney IS the White House
 Cheney is more the White House than Runnynose Bunnypants.
 With whom is Cheney supposed to clear his remarks?
 The ignorant chimp?
 The boy without a brain?
 The wimp who lost a battle with a pretzel?

 What's the real purpose of this headline?
 To make us think Dim Son actually has some power?

 Who's got the balls to scold Cheney?
 Karl Rove?
 The chimp wouldn't be in office without his brain, Cheney,
 so how's the governor going to show displeasure with his brain?

 If Weak & Stupiod really had some power in this White House,
 he would speak without reading someone else's prepared text.

Woo Hoo!


"Mr. Bush was right to declare war on terrorism, but it is far from finished.
  His promise to capture Osama bin Laden is unfulfilled.
  He should finish one 'regime change' before attempting another one."
           -- L.R. Jeffrey, Far Hills, N.J.

 What's happened to you, Bart?
  Bart turns dove - who woulda thunk it?

  Click  Here

click for more


"We all want to get rid of Saddam Hussein, but war would not be the fastest route.
  Why is the American public kept in the dark by the White House about this issue?"
     -- Robert S. Salzman, Millington, N.J.

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