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Volume 893 -Abnormals Anonymous 
Be Visible! BUY Buttons - Magnets - Stickers NOW!

Tuesday   Sept 17, 2002


"Bush's itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny tax cut didn't cause this recession,
  it was caused by the massive overspending by this crazy congress."
  ...and by the way, there is no recession!"
        -- the vulgar Pigboy

 But Rush, since Bush hasn't used a veto, that means he signed each of those bills.
 That means all that money was spent with his written permission.
 Why don't you tell the truth, Rush?

 So how do you spin your way out and claim the Democrats made him do it?
 That stupid excuse didn't work for Reagan, and it won't work for Pres. Pinhead.

  Jeb the Hypocrite
 Demands Jail time for Non-violent Drug Offenders
  But his daughter goes to rehab where the state protects her
       by Arianna Huffington, Salon, September 16, 2002
   Click  Here

 While Noelle has been given every break in the book -- and then some -- her father has
 made it harder for others in her position to get the help they need by cutting the budgets
 of drug treatment and drug court programs in his state. He has also actively opposed a
 proposed ballot initiative that would send an estimated 10,000 nonviolent drug offenders
 into treatment instead of jail. I guess what's good for the goose gets the gander locked away.


 Rednecks vs. Ragheads:
  Another Phony Terrorist Alert
    by Al Martin

  Click  Here

 The latest phony terrorist "incident" bespeaks volumes about both the United States and the
 so-called "War on Terrorism." The incident on Friday September 13th began when three young
 men of apparently Middle Eastern extraction stopped for breakfast at a coffee shop in Georgia.
 The waitress waited on these guys and after they left, she immediately called the police and told them
 that she "heard these A-Rabs and they wuz talkin' about Ex-Plosives." Then she added that she
 couldn't understand them because "they wuz A-Rabs." In this environment, you can imagine where it went.


 "His ignorance covers the whole earth like a blanket,
   and there is hardly a hole in it anywhere."
        -- Mark Twain, who died before Bunnypants was even born.

  How did he know?

Subject: Settling Admits Guilt?

 You wrote:

> Why do you think Jeb settled that 2000 lawsuit with the NAACP?
>  He settled to avoid a trial where the truth might leak out.
>  By settling, he admitted guilt, but to what?

 Does this mean that when Clinton settled with Paula Jones he admitted guilt too?

 Paula Jones was entirely fabricated, with not the slightest bit of evidence.
 (Her only witness said she asked to be Clinton's regular whore.)

 Jeb had thousands of witnesses against him (disenfranchised voters) who were
 going to tell their stories and cost Jeb votes and prove the Pinhead wasn't elected.
 Jeb also doesn't have a hundred-million dollar "Florida Project" out to smear him.
 His crimes were witnessed by millions of Americans.

 Add to that, Paula's wild claims built entire cable channels and networks.
 It was the most discussed and investigated "crime" in history.

 But can you even do five minutes on Jeb's crimes? No, because his press coverage
 only lasted a day and then disappeared, thanks to Bush's good puppy press.
 After all, stealing the presidency isn't as serious as Clinton's zipper.

 It's not the same.

  Listen to Noelle Bush's 911 call
     (Quick and easy download)

  Click  Here

"Every time she gets caught she gets out of it because she's the governor's daughter."

Click for great deals!

Subject: Guess who said it

 "Everybody says I seek war, but I must be conscious of my responsibilities.
  The menace to our country is such that it cannot be ignored.
  There is ample proof of the aims of our enemy, and I thank God Almighty
  for giving me the strength and the knowledge to do what must be done."

 This would have to be Hitler.
 Bush says the same things, just not coherently.

 Correct on both counts.
 I thought that reference to God might fool somebody, but then again,
 the worst scumbags of all time have all used God to rape, murder and steal oil.

 Subject: Duped

 Hey Bart,

 I just wanted to say that I love the site. When I first found the site (about a year ago)
 I would just breeze through to look at the comics and photos. Now I love reading your
 bitter sweet remarks. They just crack me up. I don't always agree with you, but at least
 we both agree on one thing: Bush is an evil little oil whore.

 Furthermore, your site is one of the few that has the balls to speak out. I sometimes feel like
 Winston from the book 1984. All alone surrounded be a bunch of servile, sheepish drones that
 are afraid to speak out. It is refreshing to read your site and know not everyone is falling for the lies.



   Nazis in the CIA closet:
 The Origins of Fascism in the United States
     by Christian Dewar

  Click  Here

 George W. Bush says that the terrorists envy and hate this country because we are
 a freedom loving democracy. Simplistic, disingenuous and inane as an explanation,
 those who do try to answer the question, 'Why do they hate us?' are criticized as unpatriotic.
 They are accused of 'Blaming America First'.

 Subject: bush in the guard in by-God-Alabama

 Bart, you know lots of vets have a $5,000 reward for anyone who
 saw Bush on duty (flying old jets) in the state of Alabama......?

 NOOOOO body has collected yet???!!!!

 Keep up the good work,  we need you.
 YOU are the one ON LOAN from GODDDDD!!


 Whoever made that bet knows they can't lose.

 Was Bush  'with' God ' or against' Him on 9/11?'

  Click  Here

 There were at least 8 measures Bush could have taken to help
 prevent such a hijacking after he was warned by the CIA:

 (1) Canvassing flight schools for suspicious students present and past;
 (2) Conducting a nationwide manhunt for the two known terrorists who were already in the country;
 (3) Double-checking passenger lists against terrorist suspects;
 (4) Upgrading airport passenger screening;
 (5) Hardening cockpit doors;
 (6) Putting air marshals on more flights;
 (7) Giving pilots stun guns; and,
 (8) Patrolling the skies with fighter jets.

 But Bush instead chose to remain on vacation.

 Thanks to his good puppy press, Americans are PROUD of Bush's handling of this.
 And what do the Democrats say?

"Please don't fight!
 We all enjoy vacations, don't we?
 You're all just like Bart, making
 trouble for our nice president.
 That's mean!    Shame, shame!"


  Click  Here

With summer behind us, it's once again safe
to order the South's Finest Chocolate

  Murder for Profit
    by William Rivers Pitt
  Click  Here

 George W. Bush has allowed, and will continue to allow, a course for war to be charted
 in order to save his party at the polls in November. At the same time, he has given free rein
 to the neo-con hawks in his administration to begin a process of total war in the Middle East
 in order to secure petroleum profits for the foreseeable future.

I know what I'm doing...

 Elections In America - Assume Crooks Are In Control 

 Click  Here

 Don't blame the poll workers in Florida. The facts, supported by voting machine experts
 and numerous newspaper articles, have made it clear. Computerized voting machines that
 were certified by the state of Florida, caused most of the problems in Florida's primary election.
 In the absence of paper ballots, the damage is now irreversible.

 This was no accident. It's not new. And Florida is not alone.

 Subject: thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!

 Dear Bart -
 You continue to make my day EVERYDAY!
 Please NEVER change - the spirit of Black Bart lives!!!

 Koresh help me, I can't change...

 Help  bartcop.com  grow the pie higher

 Some nice Democrats in show biz have agreed to produce some radio spots for  bartcop.com
 They say they need demographics to do it right, so I agreed to post this survey URL.
 If you could click on here and take this two-minute survey,
 they say it'll help steer the ad towards people who'd most likely listen.

 Click  Here


 Guess who said it

"What has he accomplished?
  That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?

 Who said it?                      Who is it about?

1. Tip O'Neil                     1. George W. Bush
2. Tom Daschle                 2. John Ashcroft
3. Ron Reagan Jr.              3. Asa Hutchinson

 So, who said that?


 From: JCurrier@jokeaday.net

 Subject: You're a liar!

 I realize this won't end up on your webpage, because you're a liar, and a scam, but I thought I'd pick this out:

 You wrote:

> "Bill Clinton is hated by the majority of military men, fucking hated, and he has an
>  eight-year record of never sending a man into battle who didn't come home."

  In Somalia, 29 US Soldiers gave their lives because Clinton had his thumb up his ass.
  Or, haven't you ever heard of the movie 'Black Hawk Down'?

 You can paint it anyway you like, idiot, but the Oct. 3rd, 1993 happen on Clinton's watch,
  and while Clinton was in command.

 You sir, are a liar.

 John Currier

 John, a famous Nazi one said, "Words mean things."
 I suggest you become more familiar with the English language.
 Clinton didn't send those men to Somalia, that idiot Bush did,
 and Bush failed to anticipate the protection those brave men might need.
 Clinton was waaaaay too smart to get into a trap like that Bush idiot.

 ...and it was Colin Powell who refused to send APC because it would
 take months for those ships to arrive and there wasn't time.
 John, one last thing:   How do you feel about the 241 marines who died in1983 when Reagan wanted
 them housed where a truck bomb could kill them, instead of on our ships where they'd be safe?

 You OK with that?

 Thanks for being our joke of the day,
 and thanks for reading  bartcop.com

 Today in History

 On Sept. 17, 1787 - The Constitution of the United States was completed and signed
 by a majority of delegates attending the constitutional convention in Philadelphia.
 On December 11, 2000 the Constitution was rescinded by a five thugs on the whore court.

 In 1862, Union forces hurled back a Confederate invasion of Maryland in the Civil War Battle of Antietam.
 In 1994, Confederate forces re-took the Capitol.

 In 1992, Special prosecutor Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-Contra scandal
 ...because President Bush pardoned everybody to bury proof of the crimes of the B.F.E.E. forever.
 In 2002, Gov Bush refused to release Reagan's papers because proof of guilt was contained therein.

 In 2001, Governor Bush ( R-Stupid) said Osama bin Laden was wanted "dead or alive."
 Later, when he failed to find the man responsible for September 11th, he said
 "Nevermind, he's not important. He doesn't concern me at all."

 From: Bob Katz

 Subject: Is your website to be taken seriously?

 It's primarily a humor site, but we get serious sometimes, too.

 I looked over your site today for the first time and I can not believe the liberal slant of it.
 There are more lies and innuendoes than could ever be believed.

 Cool!  Do you have time to point a few of them out?

 For example, you seem to think everything the Bushes have done is to make money and for oil reasons.
 I've got news for you that they couldn't give a shit about the oil or money.
 They care about the country and its future.

 ha ha
 Bush paid over $200 million to run a crooked campaign calling McCain a traitor, then calling
 Gore a serial liar, then stole the White House because he deeply cares about America's future?
 Boy, Rush has done well with you.
 You're funnier than I, my friend.

 That's better than the Clintons who you seem to love for some damn reason.  Those bastards do
 everything for money.  They did a horseshit job and have put our country in deep jeopardy.
 Only Bush can get us the hell out of the predicament Clinton put us in selling secrets to our enemies.

 What part of peace and prosperity disgusts you the most?
 Why do you prefer Bush's war, deficits and recession to Clinton's peace, surpluses and paradise?
 By the way, when Bush gave that super spy plane to red China, did you applaud?
 When Bush got on his knees and begged China to forgive us, did you applaud that, too?
 How about wehen Bush got on his knees and said he was "very, very sorry?"
 Were you proud of Bush on those days?

 All that dipshit Clinton cared about was pussy and money and applause.

 Objection! Assumed "facts" not in evidence.

 His whole eight years was just a big fundraising campaign and pussy hunt.

 President Pinhead has broken all of Clinton's fundraising records.

 Have you seen the gorgeous blonde he's dating now?

 No, do you have a picture?
 Is she as pretty as Guiliani's gumma? The one he took to f-ing church?
 I think Rudy should've won Opie & Anthony's sex contest - takling his whore to church!

 Hillary doesn't care because she has her lesbian friends to comfort her.
 Bob Katz

 ha ha
 The Clinton's sex life is the Holy Grail to you guys.
 Hillary's sex life is is your Arc of the Covenant.

 No wonder you're in a bad mood - your Tales of Clinton's Cock have fallen to near zero.
 Maybe you could hook up with  JCurrier@jokeaday.net
 He hates the best president America ever had, too

 Could you be a regular contributor?
 I could use a ditto-monkey on the team.
 Maybe you could convince some of your Simian pals, as well?

 Thanks for reading  bartcop.com

Gillian Anderson says...

"I'd rather be taken by the Swamp Thing
than miss my daily  bartcop.com"

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 The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.

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Woo Hoo!

Subject: George W. Bush is NOT A QUITTER!


What kind of talk is that?!
It's unAmerican!

Did George W. Bush quit even after losing the popular vote?

Did he quit after losing millions of dollars of his fathers' friends money in failed oil companies?

Did he quit after knocking that 15 year old girl up?

Did he quit after he got that DUI?

Did he quit after getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game?

Did he quit after being a military deserter from the Air National Guard for 18 months?
They coulda strung him up in a noose!!

The Family Guy

What does Lou Diamond Phillips think of BartCop?
He thinks you should read it every day.

Thanks to Regan Copple, friend to the stars.
Regan gets free Chinaco at Party of the Year

 Click  Here  to see the BartFest Webcam.    It's GREAT at night!


 We expect to send out tickets in the next few days. At one point we thought about just
 assigning everyone a number, but we got some feedback that some people wanted to keep
 their ticket as a souvenier, so we're planning to send out some extra-cool tickets any day now.

 The latest plan is to meet Friday at the Hard Rock's "Pink Taco" for some pre-bus agave.
 (For non-drinkers, there's food, gambling, shopping, Shania Twain's lil dress etc)
 We'll board the bus just after dark (approx 7:15) and cruise for about an hour, maybe longer.
 Post-bus ride is open to suggestions. The bus will dump us back at the Hard Rock.

 The Saturday plan: The Party of the Year will run from 7-10 PM.
 Most of you have opted for the $38 all the premium liquor you can drink, so you'll have to
 make them lose money inside that three-hour window, so pace yourselves accordingly :)

 Adding to the fun - we don't have a room number to give you. We're going to get advice
 from The Rio on how to direct you, but checking with the desk is our Failsafe Manuever.
 Hopefully we'll have an update on that soon.

                        The pool area at The Rio

 Click  Here  for the latest BartFest update.

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