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Volume 897 - After the Flood


 Weekend   Sept 21-22, 2002


"You see, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the administrative branch."
          --Dubya, White House, 9/19, introducing the fourth branch of the federal government.

 He is soooo stupid.
 He has no mental skills, whatsoever.
 He's Cheney's stooge, and sometimes he talks off-script.

 Tide of scandal laps closer to Cheney's feet
         by Paul Krugman

  Click  Here

"Cheney supposedly chose Thomas White for his business expertise. But when it became
 apparent that the Enron division he ran was a money-losing fraud, the story changed.
 We were told that White was an amiable guy who had no idea what was actually going on,
 that his colleagues referred to him behind his back as "Mr. Magoo."

 Just the man to run the Army in a  two-front Middle Eastern war, right?...

  Oiling the Wheels of War
   from The Nation

  Click  Here

 This could prove to be the biggest oil grab in modern history, providing hundreds of billions of
 dollars to US oil firms--many linked to senior officials in the Bush Administration--and helping to
 avert a future energy crunch in the United States. But is oil worth spilling the blood of American
 soldiers and Iraqi civilians who get caught in the way? This is the question Congress must ask
 if we are to have an honest debate on the merits of invading Iraq.


“I have not seen such executive arrogance and secrecy since
  the Nixon administration, and we all know what happened to that group."
            -- Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va

Subject: Perkel's Declaration


Perkel's Declaration is so good, that I figure the feds will go after him any day now for
treason or something.  They'll squirrel him away in the Secret John Ashcroft Federal Re-education
and Torture Camp until all he can write is the pledge of allegiance over and over again.

Reminder: Ashcroft knows Perkel. Marc ran against him in MOs GOP primary last election.

By the way, you're still way hot and cool.  Rolling Stone is a fashion mag now, you're too hip
to be in that rag. It lost its soul and jumped the shark about 15 years ago.


p.s.  I'm obviously still reading the site in spite of our disagreement about what constitutes sexism.
I can't help it, you're too funny and honest for me to stop reading, even if I want to give you some
opposition sometimes.   You and MWO still rule and are my daily bread.

Sanda, I'd enjoy a friendly debate on the subject of sexism. When men stop appreciating women
the planet will no longer spin and then who would Smirky sell his precious oil to?

 I Challenge You

  Click  Here

 For years, you have been sending out challenges for a dittomonkey to debate you on a host of
 liberal/progressive issues...but now, I see that you are in great need of getting your ass kicked

 So now, at long last, I have had enough. I never thought that I would say this, but,


"...the reason that the Bush administration tried to stop this independent commission,
  tried to stop the Senate investigation is because there's a lot of embarrassing information
  about the derelictions that they committed before 9/11. They had eight or nine months, you know.
 And that's the problem that they're looking at. Now they know it's inevitable that this legislation is
 going to pass; they are saying, OK, because Richard Shelby, the ranking Republican on the Senate
 Intelligence Committee, has said it is going to pass. John McCain wants it to pass. The Republicans
 are with the Democrats, because they know there are a lot of problems here."
              --Joe Conason, Crossfire, 09/20/02

 Every Democrat should be reminding people that Team Bush knew something BIG was going to happen
 and the unelected idiot went on another month-long vacation.

 Bush is treating the presidency like every other "job" he's ever been given.
 He stole a job he doesn't won't even show up for.

  Bush's war plans are a cover-up, Byrd says

  Click  Here

"This administration, all of a sudden, wants to go to war with Iraq," Byrd said.
"The political polls are dropping, the domestic situation has problems....
 So all of a sudden we have this war talk, war fervor, the bugles of war, drums of war, clouds of war.

"Don't tell me that things suddenly went wrong. Back in August, the president had no plans....
 Then all of a sudden this country is going to war," Byrd told the Senate on Friday.

“Nothing would please this president more than having such a blank check handed to him.”

 We  can't  give this gang of thugs a blank check.

 Subject: Step back for a moment...

 If you step back from all the news stories you satrize, critisize
 or are appalled at, would you agree that this is the big picture:

 1. The USA has become the client state of trans-national corporations.
 2. The Democrats differ from the Republicans only in the completeness
    of their integration into the corporate agenda.
 3. The goal of the corporations is profit maximization without regard to
     the health, welfare prosperity or peace of the world's population.
 4. The USA should look at Russia and Argentina as its future, becoming
     a labor camp for the corporate interestes controlling the World Bank and IMF.
 5. The people have no idea this coup has happened because these same
     corporations own all public communication outlets.

    If you agree with this state of affairs, what is your best recommendation for action?


 Vote for Ralph Nader?

 ha ha

 Sorry, ...couldn't, ...that was mean.
 Swear to Koresh, the best action I can think of would be for everyone to send
 in enough money to enable us to put some of my saner ideas on a bigger stage.

 For instance we could put up a billboard in Washington DC that said,
 "Why do Democrats cash their paychecks if they're just going
   to act like rubber stamps for the Unelected Fraud?"

 I would be great to have enough power to demand an answer to that question.

 Number One was is mostly true,
 Number Two is what gave you away as a Nadirite.
 (Would you care for a polite, live chat, sometime?)
 Number Three is truer than grass is green.
 Number Four is a wild stab with no foundation.
 (We aren't Russia, and we aren't Argentina)
 Number Five is as true as Number Three.

 The Weekend in Sports

 The Cards won theor division, that's good.
 Altanta will outscore them 106-12 in the playoffs, that's bad.

 Texas beat Houston, staying undeafted for their Oklahoma ass-kicking.
 Joe Paterno won again - go Joe!   Florida fed it to Tennessee.
 Ohio State squeaked and God sure likes Notre Dame this year.
 Kansas State beat up Fleetwood Mac.

 The Rams don't lose until tonight...

 ...but the most important thing is Dallas lost by 30!

 That made it a good weekend.

  ABC is Asking us to Trust Them
 Watchdog: Campaign Inaccuracies
  Help Us Help You!

   Click  Here

 ABCNEWS announces an unprecedented effort to truth-squad political communication in 2002.
 Gather up your election mail; take notes about the campaign-related phone calls you get;
 send in your tips and credible accounts, and we'll go through them.

 To submit material to our little truth corps, just e-mail us: politicalunit@abcnews.com

 So, the network that hired:
 Cokie Roberts, the stupidest prostitute in Washington,

  Call me "Cokie!"

 ...George Will, who has been certified as more stupid than Chippy the Chimp,


 and Judas (Steffie) Maximus is asking us to trust them?

 ha ha

 But, maybe Mickey Mouse wants to come clean?
 Maybe we should test them and see how they do?


"... Democrats have completely rolled over out of cowardice.
  Whether they like it or not, they are all going to sign this resolution.
  They are afraid to stand up for what they may or may not believe in.
  It is a disservice to the country."
     --Tucker Carlson, Crossfire, 09/20/02

 ...it's always confusing when a Republican tells the truth.

 ...so this monkey writes me a snippy e-mail.

 When I answered his e-mail on the 17th, I was very nice:

> Bob, good one, will print today.
> Thanks for reading  bartcop.com

Then, his thoughtful response:

 You really are a putz.  A royal jackass.
 You say you will print it and you don't.
 I'm right, you lie all the time and BS everybody in your web site.
 Liberals just can't help lying.
 It is in the nature of Socialists and Communists
 to lie because you can not support the truth.
 You live in a dreamworld.

 Bob Katz

 Dear Monkey Boy,
 Your previous red-faced episode was published in Volume 893 - Abnormals Anonymous
 And you know what day that was?
 The 17th, the day I told you it would run.

 You know why you couldn't find it?

 You couldn't find it because God gave you the brain of a monkey.
 It's in the nature of monkeys to have defective brains.

 You poor bastard.


 True story:  I was driving in town earlier this week, when I experienced a strange and enlightening
 experience. You see, I have a small sign in the back window of my car that says "Vote Democrat."
 Out of nowhere, a guy starts tailgating me and gesturing wildly. When I stopped at a traffic signal, he
 pulled even with me on the right and angrily thrust his middle finger up and out toward me.

 Then he screeched away, and I saw that he had a bumper sticker saying, "Rush Was Right."

 Bart, have I discovered the secret signal of the ditto-monkeys?
 Is this a demonstration of "talent on loan from God?"
 I certainly felt flattered to have been singled out for recognition.


 Larry, you are one courageous Dude!
 In Jokelahoma, you would've even have a car with a bumper sticker like that.
 The Christian would just key your hood while the true DMs would set your car on fire.

 Things must be different in Oceanside.

...but you got a girl pregnant in 1971
...she was only 15, George.
How did you handle that problem?

Click  Here

 Busy weekend at BartCop Manor

 I'm going thru a bunch of e-mails, and I've decided to get my penis enlarged and get my breasts done
 the way men like them. I'm going to buy one of those miniature cameras, then I'm sending some money
 to Zimbabwe to help the son of the former foreign minister get his $30M over here, then I'm searching
 for a good rate on a mortgage, then I'm going to send along a chain letter so I don't die, then I'm gonna
 speed up my Windows with some fancy-ass new program, then I'm gonna gamble at some on-line casino
 that always pays out, and if I drink enough Chinaco, I might even Conheça o meio mais ágil, econômico
 e moderno de divulgar sua empresa, claim some cash from "Accounts Payable," then re-refinance that
 new mortgage I just took out, hire a detective to follow my lover and see what she's really up to, then score
 some St Johns Wort and Viagra online, then learn how to get in on sheriff real estate foreclosures,
 then have my penis extended and figure a way to make money on my computer in my spare time.

 ...and I still had time to get an issue put together.

 Bumper Sticker

 Jesus loves Jeb Bush.
 Everyone else thinks he's an asshole.

 Thanks to vcz

 I wonder of Jeb is jealous that Daddy always buys Dubya better toys?
 First Dubya got a baseball team, and all Jeb got was a piece of Enron.
 Then Duyba got Texas, and Jeb had to settle for Florida.
 Now Dubya gets America, and Jeb's still stuck in Florida.

 ...and Jeb can name all the states!!!

The AWOL-DESERTER thing should be interpreted as follows:

Thirty days or less and you are guilty of AWOL.

More than thirty days and you are a deserter!!!!  No ifs, ands or buts.  (one exception is listed later on)

If you are gone for less than thirty days and they have proof that you have no intention to return then
you are guilty of desertion!!!  Even if you are gone for only one day.

During the early days of the campaign when bush was calling McCain a coward, the military sentenced a boy
to five years jail for desertion.  He had been gone one day (only) but I guess they had witnesses that
said he intended to stay away.  So they do uphold the rules.  (IF YOU ARE POOR OR YOUR DADDY

Now, when I went through indoctrination, the instructor told us that even if you are gone for more than thirty days,
if when they find you, you are heading in the direction of your assigned base, then you MIGHT possibly get your
charge downgraded to AWOL.  But if you are found while traveling away from the base then you have no chance
at AWOL, you will be charged with desertion.

The deserter's old man didn't use any legal means to get the honorable discharge.  What he did was out and
out criminal.  If we are at war now then we damn sure were at war then and the deserter should have been
executed and his old man should have been thrown in jail.

You cut him way too much slack on this one.  They are both, at the very least, prisonable.

I hope you get to read this and then reassess your interpretation of the rules.  I'm so sick of this child molesting
bastard getting the clean end of every stick that he manages to foul up.  (I know that's poor grammar, but I'm
so pissed I can't see straight)



 Russert's new look on Meet the Press...

 Thanks to GG

Woo Hoo!

 Subject: Thank you

    Thank you for a true voice of REASON in a vast sea of wrong wing rhetoric.
 I found your site while researching dubyas military record, and wondering why the
 so called Liberal Left Leaning ( from here on know as LLL ) media has chosen to
 overlook his absence from the last 2 years of his 6 year Air National Guard obligation!
    With 75% of the media controlled by Republicans it's obvious why most Americans
 think this IDIOT is doing a great job. The LLL is stocked to the brim with mindless spin
 doctors of the likes you mentioned.

 Keep Up The Good Work!
 Scared for my Childen,

 Scott in SJ

 Who said it?

 "They shouldn't have did this.
   They wasn't supposed to do this,
    and it shouldn't have been done."

The Dink in the White House
Maddie Toogood
John Fund

 "Hi, I beat women
      ...got any?"

 Republicans Are Serial Murderers!
    by Rackjite

  Click  Here

 While Ted Bundy was on his murder spree; torturing and raping 33 women before killing them,
 he was not only a registered Republican, a Republican activist, but was also a paid employee of
 the Republican Party. In fact, a few of his first murders were done while traveling for the GOP.

 Spoiled Rancid
     by Barry Crimmins

   Click  Here

 There are spoiled brats and then there is Court-appointed President Bush, a child of privilege
 so spoiled he's rancid. As such, he'll go to any measure to get what he wants. After all,
 once you've been allowed to be president without benefit of election, why shouldn't you
 expect your every whim to be fulfilled?

  Culture War With B-2's
     by Maureen Dowd

  Click  Here

 The casus belli is casuistry belli:
 We can't cuff Saddam to 9/11, but we'll clip Saddam because of 9/11.
 Mr. Rumsfeld offered sophistry instead of a smoking gun:
 "I suggest that any who insist on perfect evidence are
  back in the 20th century and still thinking in pre-9/11 terms."

 Ah, Rummy. Evidence, civil liberties, debating before we go to war . .
 It's all sooo 20th century.

American Stranger

  Follow Up..
 Problems in Minneapolis
    by Isaac Petersen

  Click  Here

 Michelle Gross of Communities United Against Police Brutality spoke for many in
 the community when she said, "I believe that what they passed was less than nothing.
 It's nothing but a delay so the City Council can have complete control of the mediation...
 If there is one more incident in this town, people are going to blow."

 Subject: World Oil Prices

 World oil prices are up because the Pentagon (world's largest buyer/user) has been purchasing
 50-60% more oil, 23 million barrels instead of the usual 15 million barrels, monthly since 9-11.

 The "shrub" (immature bush) has found a way to keep his oily pals high prices stable.
 I don't think enough people are aware of this fact.

 Keep up the great work.


I got some crap on my glasses.
Hey, peasant lady, hold still
while I wipe myself on you.


"There's the rule that we don't attack other countries. We're not the Japanese.
 We're not into surprising other countries...I think if you get into this situation of
 fighting other countries just 'cause they have the wrong weapon or you don't like their face,
 then you're going to have a world that is going to be warlike forever. That's what I think.
     --Chris Matthews, ...like anyone cares what he thinks

 Hey, Chris!
 Bush is your boy.
 You worked long and hard to get him where he is.
 You composed lie after lie about Al Gore in 2000, and laughed while you did it.
 You obsessed over Clinton's cock for half a decade, and laughed about that.
 You're not a news man any more, or even a pundit - you're a whore,
 making more for slamming Democrats than you could make reporting the facts.
 Since 1995 or so, you've been a Captain in the Pig Army.

Cap'n Matthews reporting, Sir!

 The Bush Family has been buttering your bread for seven years, Chris.
 Show your boy a little loyalty, you back-stabbing slug.

 The Iraq debate gets curiouser and curiouser

   Click  Here

"The most unpleasant and unhelpful aspect of this "debate" is the implication that
 anyone who expresses serious doubts about this venture is unpatriotic -- and it often
 comes from the same people who spent eight years eaten alive with Clinton hatred.
 Being patriotic doesn't mean agreeing with the government.

 Support  bartcop.com
 Help us get the truth out!

 Click to become a Corona volunteer for $10 a month

 We've got to build a bigger hammer.
 The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.

 Click  Here  to donate large.

...which way is home?

 You know what would be cool?

 If someone took a laptop to Bartfest, that had the MIRC chat software installed.
 And if whoever this person was could get their ISP phone number in Vegas in advance,
 we could chat live with the gang from the big fest.

 Party in Vegas next weekend

 Tickets will start going out today!

 Click  Here  for a recent BartFest update.

 If you're going, you NEED to read this update.

 There are four tickets left.

 Click  Here  to see the BartFest Webcam.    It's GREAT at night!

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