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Volume 906 - Stolen Nation

because it's sooooo good...

 Tuesday   Oct 15, 2002 


"In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation and
  there were those slaves that lived in the house. You got the privilege of living in
  the house if you served the master... Colin Powell's committed to come into the
  house of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than
  what the master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture...
 What Colin Powell serves is to give the illusion that the Bush cabinet is a diverse
  cabinet, made up of people of color when, in fact, none of that is what is true."
   -- Harry Belafonte, October 8, 2002


 Will they be counting the votes three weeks from today?
 Or will the Crooked Court install their favorites,
 over the wishes of the voters like they did in 2000?

 ...partisan sons of bitches...

 The Ironic Implication of the New Jersey Imbroglio
  High Court says they have no business deciding state elections
   By Ted Rall

  Click  Here

 "...the high court's decision serves as an important cautionary tale to those who think it's okay,
  every now and then, to bend the rule of law... The 2000 Florida dispute resulted in Republicans
  --historically the great champions of states' rights--obtaining the help of the federal court system
 to subvert the states' constitutionally-protected control of elections. An appeal of the Florida
 SC's decision, no matter how flawed that decision may have been, violated the Constitution.
 The fact that Renhquist et al. agreed to hear Bush v. Gore is what makes Bush's regime illegal."


"You mean when General Rove calls in the airstrikes in October?"
   -- Dem. Sen. Camp. Comm. Ex. Dir. Jim Jordan, responding to how
       Iraq might affect this year's battle for control of Congress.

Q. What's the difference between the St Louis Rams and the Taliban?

A. The Taliban has a running game.

 Led Zeppelin to tour US - Summer 2003?

  Click  Here

 Led Zeppelin are set to re-group after 22 years for a stadium tour of America.
 The three surviving members Plant, Page, Jones and Jason Bonham plan to tour next summer.

 Robert, 54, Jimmy, 58, and 56-year-old John Paul met two weeks ago
 at the offices of their management firm Trinifold. They buried the hatchet over
 Page and Plant s 1990s tour, which John Paul only learned about from a newspaper.

 The band are second only to the Beatles in worldwide album sales.
 They still hold records for crowds at their 1970s concerts.

 It would be nice if this rumor came true.
 I wonder if Uncle Ernie's heard the news?

 And Jason is the only guy who could give them the Hammer of the Gods.
 I saw (and taped) Jimmy with Jason in Dallas in 1988 and I could tell Jason had
 been listening to his daddy's live work - he memorized every lick and he sounded great.

 Jason's not as good as his had (nobody is) but the guys who are better than Jason
 don't have that arrogant swagger that he inherited from the best rock drummer of all time.

 On that tour, since Robert wasn't along, so they were free to do the BIG songs.
 Dazed and Confused, In My Time of Dying, Stairway, etc.
 Robert can't stand the big songs, he prefers Going to California and Tangerine,
 which are nice songs, but I like the Led more than I like the Zeppelin.

 In late 1974, we drove seven hours to St Louis to buy Zeppelin tickets.
 I had a pocket full of money, and when I got to the ticket window, I said,
 "How many tickets you got left and how much?"
 The guy said "There are 33 tickets left and they're $13.50 each."
 I said "I'll take 'em."

 Nothing was the same after I saw Led Zeppelin live.

 Bush's Wanton War

  Click  Here

 Credible reports have upwards of half-million Iraqis dying from third world diseases like typhoid or
 dysentery over the last 11 years; because in í91 we bombed Baghdadís water purification and sewage
 treatment plants, covering the cradle of civilization with excrement, then embargoed chlorine for a
 decade (because itís used in making poison gases). Reattaching Iraq to the world could result in a
 flood of fervent anti-American terrorists. We donít even know how many were killed in the Gulf War,
 because the press was treated as the enemy, and our military never deigned to tell us.

 If we invade Iraq, it will be only because George Bush wants to
 Ö and thatís not a good enough reason. .

Q. Why doesn't East St. Louis have a professional football team?

A. Because then St. Louis would want one.

Smart liberal radio

click for details
Listen to Mike weekdays


"...the Christian Coalition held its annual road to victory conference here in DC.
 And one of the ringmasters of that right wing circus was Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik)
 ...Senator Inhofe called on the Christian Coalition to vote liberals out of office, saying,
 "You will be doing the lord's work and he will richly bless you for it."

 In response, the lord god almighty released the following statement: Who in Heaven's
 name instructed Jim Inhofe to speak for me. He's a child of mine, and I love him, but I
 don't take sides in partisan political contests. Vote your conscience. And, while you're
 at it, love your neighbor, stop killing each other, and take better care of the poor."
       --Paul Begala, Crossfire, 10/14/02

 Joint Resolution to Authorize the use of
 United States Armed Forces Against Iraq
    by my good friend (and Bartfest attendee) The Daily Brew

  Click  Here  for the superior original
  Click  Here  for the inferior forever version

 Whereas the nation of Iraq has substantial oil and gas reserves,
 Whereas over the past decade certain executives in the oil and gas industry have
 donated generously to various political campaigns of President George W. Bush,
 and many were in fact "Bush Pioneers" in the 2000 presidential campaign...

 Subject: From Doug's Mom

 I just wanted to let you know Doug's in [the] Hospital in L.A., Room xxx, with two blood clots.
 They say he's had 12 strokes, probably as a result of the roller coaster ride he took at Disneyland in August.

 He was admitted last Tuesday; the best estimate is that he will probably come home tomorrow.
 They've been [thinning his blood].  There doesn't seem to be any neurological damage, although he'll apparently
 have to have some physical therapy--as well as careful monitoring of his clotting ability--when he gets home.

 He's continuing to have some headaches and dizziness, but apparently nowhere near the frequency or intensity
 level he was having before he went in.  We'll keep you informed.  Thanks for being Doug's friend.


 I took a chance and called Doug's hospital room - and he answered!
 You couldn't tell he'd had a series of small strokes - he sounded great.
 I wish I sounded that good when I was on Mike Malloy.

 Doug says he's going home today!
 Woo Hoo! 

 Way to go, Doug!

 My good friend (and Bartfest attendee) Bob Witkowski has a cool web site.


 Don't let the gun picture scare you.
 Liberals with guns may be our last hope.

 First look at the BarFest Vegas slideshow!


 Thanks to Steve!

 Texas on the Tigris
   by Maureen Dowd - This time it's Smirk 'n Dick

  Click  Here

 The Nobel committee gave Jimmy Carter the peace prize as a way of giving W. the war booby prize.

 Still, George Bush, the failed Harken oil executive, and Dick Cheney, the inept Halliburton chairman,
 will finally get their gusher.

 One day, the prez was shootin' at a dictator bein' rude, and up from the ground came a bubblin' crude.
 Oil, that is. Black gold. Baghdad tea.

 The simple truth
  Put in small words so the 'tangs can understand.

 1. Bush is a moron.

 2. He stole the election.

 3. He wants to go to war to hide his crimes
     and his mishandling of the economy.

 Ain't nothing to it...

 Bush's banana republic
   by Francis Boyle

  Click  Here

 "George W. Bush was never elected President by the People... Instead, he was anointed
 for that Office by five Justices of the United States Supreme Court who themselves had
 been appointed by Republican Presidents.  What happened in America could only be
 likened to a judicial coup d'etat inflicted upon the American People, Constitution, and Republic.
 There should now be no doubt that the United States Supreme Court is governed by raw,
 naked, brutal, power politics. Justice has nothing at all to do with it. This Supreme Court's
 constitutional sophistry proved a harbinger of the new administration's disrespect for the
 Rule of Law, whether domestic or international."

 Misleading the Nation to War
    by Sam Parry  of consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

"...what Bush and his aides have left out of their one-sided risk equation is the possibility that
 the administrationís actions may increase the danger to Americans, not reduce or eliminate it.
 The truncated national debate has barely touched on this other reality ­ that Bushís belligerence
 might speed up the timetable for terrorist groups getting their hands on weapons of mass destruction,
 a point acknowledged in a new CIA threat assessment.


Was I wrong to do this...?

When my baby was first learning to talk, everytime W's face
came on TV, I'd say, "'Stupid.' Can you say 'stupid?'"

And now my son honestly thinks that is W's name.
He is now 3 years old and points to W and says "Stupid."

I know it was juvenile of me, but I couldn't help myself!!
(It's obvious I'm a liberal because I feel guilty about it, right?
A Republican never feels guilty about anything.)

Lisa, The Homesick Texan

ha ha

ha ha

ha ha

ha ha

Make her stop...

 Click  Here for today's 


"If Al Gore was president right now, this would be more hysterical
  than a drag queen returning a pair of shoes without a receipt."
       --Dennis Miller, former comedian turned Monica for Dim Son

 There is a lot of BartFest  news that needs to be mentioned...

 No-Dak (Or is is Ko-Dak?) sent me 115 still.pictures and a very
  nice financial contribution due to his skill and luck at the blackjack tables,
  and Steve has a slideshow about to debut, ...and then there's the video....

 Plus, how many times did the firemen come to say hello?
 Hearing that alarm go off brought me back to my days at The Hard Rock Island
 when I'd hear, "There's been a shooting - who owns this dump?"

 I have a fun story to tell, too, but it needs more sex and drugs to make it fly
 and it's taking longer than I figured to fabricate that juicy kind of stuff.

 I can tell you The Rio inserted a splinterry telephone pole in my butt
 between the party and the Roulette wheel, so stay tuned for all the fun fax.

 If YOU have a fun story from that weekend, send it to me.


Harmony Cedar

 Dear Mr. McAuliffe,

 I have been proud of my support for the Democratic Party and its candidates my entire adult life.
 This has not been easy having grown up in a Republican household in a very conservative area of California.

 I watched the travesty that was an election in 2000 with fear and horror, as an unelected moron assumed
 the leadership of our country in spite of receiving fewer votes and in spite of the wishes of the majority of
 voters in the nation and, I believe, in Florida. This man, was able to dishonestly assume the most powerful
 position in the world, without a mandate, and yet force his ideology on America and the world, with the
 help of his powerful corporate friends, political allies and even the media.

 As far as I'm concerned, my party has abandoned its responsibility as an opposition party. It has spinelessly
 allied itself with traitors to the Constitution and our culture. Sadly, the party will have to do without my support,
 and where applicable, without my vote...or money.


Mira says
"Stay abreast of the
BFEE's ilegal takeover..."

...read  bartcop.com


"I don't go after innocents. I only go after jerks."
     --Dennis Miller, just before he shot himself

 I'm so old, I remember when Miller hated the right-wing psychopaths.
 Then he got a few dollars in his pocket and bought his presidential kneepads.

 You young comedians out there, don't pull a "Dennis Miller."
 Stay true to yourself, don't sell your soul and you'll do OK.

 Subject: Gutless Democrats?

 Dear Bart:
 You are now praising Senator Byrd as being one of only a few democrats with balls.
 What did you think of him when he voted for the confirmation of Ashcroft?

 I didn't like him when he was KKK.
 I didn't like him when he went after Clinton during impeachment.
 I didn't like him when he voted for his buddy Ashcroft.
 I don't like him now, but he's the only one fighting back.

 You damned ALL democratic senators for the Ashcroft confirmation
 when only a few democratic senators voted for it.

 I damn all the Democrats who voted for him
 and all the Democrats who failed to speak out against him

 Your heros seem to be the characters in a cartoon strip and a fictional president on
 a television drama. It's easy to be a hero all the time when you are a fictious or
 anonymous character. Sometimes real people have to make compromises.

 "Real people" have to vote for the most religiously insane man in congressional history?
 You're a nut.

 Keep hiding behind your anomonity Tough Guy.
 You are doing the rest of us no favor.

 And don't even THINK about publishing my email address.

 Konstanze Belmonte

 Next time mind your manners.


"Are you better off today than you were two years ago?
  We were moving in the right direction according to most measures.
  Less than two years later, the surpluses are gone...
  The plan we're following now is really bad."
      --Al Gore, Monday at the Iowa Memorial Union

 Hey, Al!
 All you had to do was say "Let's stay the course," and promise "more Clintonomics."
 But you wanted to be your "own man," instead, remember, Al?

 ...you got your wish.

 BartFest report
     by BartCop, don't miss this

  Click  Here

 Oh, yeah, early in the night, someone asked me if smoking was allowed.
 I looked around for some cops, but then I realized that's not what he meant.

 Hell no, you can't smoke tobacco at the Party of the Year!
 So they took the tobacco out into the hall, right under the smoke alarm.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding...


"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office".
         - Aesop, who died long before Bunnypants was even born

 By the way, I'm starting a new thing:
 See how that quote ends...public office".

 I'm declaring right now that we no longer do that!
 From now on, the correct punctuation for that is...public office."

 Tell your friends...

The Pieman

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"It does look like a pattern of attacks that the enemy, albeit on the run,
  is trying to once again to frighten and kill freedom-loving people. And we've
  just got to understand we are in a long struggle. Clearly the attacks in Bali,
  I think we have to assume it is al Qaeda. We just learned a lesson this weekend:
  It's going to take a while to succeed."
         --Dubya, the stuipiodest man in the history of politics, after the Bali massacre,
            asking the voters to be patient with his learning curve.

 Hey, Crooked Liar!
 How many thousands will die while you're trying to learn how to learn?

 When it comes to fund raising for others, I'm more out than the St Louis Cardinals, but they say
 chat's Joeve, who is half of the Joey-Joe-Joe radio show, is going to lose his house Friday..

 Click  Here

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