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Volume 908 - The James River Massacre '...don't ask'

 Thurs-Friday   Oct 17-18, 2002 


"I'd like to know what about sex discrimination Tiger Woods thinks is right.
  If others had taken that view, he'd be a caddie at Augusta, not a player."
   --  Martha Burk, head of the National Council of Women's Organizations

 Now that North Korea has disclosed they have nukes,
 will President Enron suddenly decide to invade them, too?

 Of course not.

 North Korea doesn't have any oil, stupid.

 Subject: Time for Bush to run to Texas?

 If, as George Tenant (Director of the CIA) says, things are as bad as they were
 in the summer of 2001, if terrorist attacks on us are as probable as they were then,
 isn't it time for Moron to turn tail and run off to Texas for a month???

 Linda  >^..^<

 Linda, yes.
 When a terrorist attack is imminent, Junior takes another month-long vacation.

 That way he can say, "How could we have known?" when more people are killed.

 Bali Disco Bombing - Another US "Inside Hit"
  Looks like another US Military/Intelligence Black Op

 Click  Here - search for "Bali"

 They expect us to believe that the same Islamic Terrorists who supposedly masterminded the
 Sept. 11th attacks, (Arguably the most significant MILITARY strikes in the history of empires,
 shaking at the very roots, the globe’s preeminent empire.) would blunder and bomb the disco
 containing Australians when a disco full of juicy Americans was just a few doors down the road?

 One only has to spend an afternoon on the strip to find out which places are popular with the
 Americans. Even Islamic terrorists can ask any Kuta vagrant which club has the Americans in it.

 And absolutely , positively, if Islamic terrorists were behind this attack they would have gone straight
 to the discos frequented by Americans only several doors down the street, and bombed them.

 Comment by "JR:"
 The speed and regularity at which they roll out these experts who say, "Yup, looks like Al Queda,"
 Sure does ring of MILITARY PSY-OP.

 Who is this latest Indonesian official who is suddenly taking the administration's line and is suddenly
 quoted in every single major media article as saying he now thinks it's Al Queda. It's like they get one
 insider to play ball then all the media says, "Well you heard it. He said it, and he's the defense minister."

 And how do we know he is not just a puppet or worse an idiot, who got led to make a statement
 which then was designed to be trumpeted throughout the media as proof. I don't give a fuck about
 the defense minister of Indonesia suddenly detirmining that it was definitely Al Queda.
 This was an American military style psychological operation from top to bottom.

 Granted, this is wild and inflammatory stuff,
 (and I obviously know zip about Bali nightlife)
 but if there was a nearby club full of Americans,
 why would they kill so many Australians, instead?

 Let's hope the B.F.E.E. isn't getting impatient with their world taleover.


"Some Democrats have accused this administration of being dingoistic.
  Don't believe them - it's not true.  ...I am not a dingo..."
    -- Too stupid to tie his shoes

Vote Democrat in November

 What Would Hitler Do?

  Click  Here

 Pope Recognizes Chinaco Anejo
 Pontiff revamps Rosary to recognize Christ's tastiest miracle.

 Click  Here

 Different mysteries are contemplated each day, with the glorious mysteries repeated on Sundays.

 Now, on Sundays, the pope asks Catholics to reflect on five ''mysteries of light'':
 Christ's baptism, his first miracle at Cana, his proclaiming the coming of the Kingdom of God,
 his transfiguration in front of three disciples, and the institution of the Eucharist as a sacrament.

 Now it can be told.
 This is one of the "surprises" I've been waiting to tell you about.

 I contacted the Vatican in the summer of 2000 and asked them to recognize
 the makers of Chinaco Anejo for carrying on Christ's great work as a liquorier.
 The cardinals agreed back then that Chinaco should be recognized.
 They suggested a "St Chinaco Day," but I lobbied for something big,
 like a whole new rosary to celebrate the tastiest miracle He ever performed.

 It's what awaits us all in Heaven...

 The Wimps of War

  Click  Here

"...the US yesterday softened its stance on UN weapons inspections
  by removing language specifically threatening Iraq with invasion."

 Vegas Reports continue to come in

  Click  Here

 Send yours in, too.

 Bush Twins Astrology

  Click  Here

When [Venus & Mars] are trine, the male and female energy of the individuals are harmonious.
 Jenna and Barbara will get along easy with both men and women.

 Men and women?

 That's hot!

     by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

" ...one freedom-loving NRA supporter ask why guns are any different
 than kitchen knives or hammers. He reasoned that both can be used as
 murder weapons, just like a gun. That's a good point. I'd hate to count all
 of the random people killed each year, in public, by serial killers using
 high-powered kitchen knives and hammers."


"I told the president I thought his Justice Department was out of control.
 Are we going to save ourselves from international terrorism in order to deny
 the fundamental liberties we protect to ourselves?"
   -- Dick Armey, joining Robert Byrd, Dan Burton, Bob Barr and Jim Jeffords
       in fighting the illegal thugs who have stolen our government from us.


 Because the Democrats are too afraid to fight back.

"But Bart, fighting is bad!
 It makes us just like them."

 Top Ten Differences between Baghdad and Las Vegas

10. In Baghdad, you don't need a tourist bus to see the mushroom clouds

  9. Baghdad's best tequila bars only serve Jose Cuervo

  8. Wayne Newton only plays Baghdad twice a year

  7. Saddamfest in Baghdad draws tens of thousands

  6. Vegas buffets don't serve camel

  5. Their 'Death Valley' soon to be much bigger than ours

  4. No call girls named "Janine" in Baghdad

  3. You can't get married by a bin Laden impersonator in Vegas

  2. The hourly pirate fights produce real casualties in Baghdad

 ...and the Number One difference between Baghdad and Las Vegas...

  1. Even in August, Vegas never reaches 2500 degrees

  Poop on poultry
 Bush serves up another stinker
    by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 "So who's in favor of poop on poultry? Surprise, it's the meat and poultry industry!...
 And why would politicians take chances with the very lives of their constituents?
 The Center for Responsive Politics reports that 82 percent of the meat industry's political
 contributions, $4.5 million since 1990, went to Republicans. To labor the point, it does actually
 make a real difference in your daily life who winds up in public office. So to all of you who
 "just don't care about politics," take another bite of chicken and think about it some more."

 Subject: Cheney Refuses Judge's Orders

 A federal judge yesterday ordered the Bush administration to turn over key documents about
 its energy task force for a second time, while government lawyers gave notice that they plan
 to take their case to an appeals court before complying.

 U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan gave lawyers representing Cheney until Nov. 5 to produce
 documents that detail the membership rolls and meeting schedules of the National Energy Policy
 Development Group, which Cheney chaired. Sullivan had ordered the same documents turned over in August.

 The Bush administration has said repeatedly that the separation of powers doctrine shields those
 documents from outside review because they might show the administration's internal, deliberative process.
 But it has yet to invoke the principle of executive privilege, either, and that position drew Sullivan's ire yesterday.

 Once again Cheney has refused to turn over the people's papers to the people. Perhaps he is afraid
 that the people will figure out that Enron was actually writing this Administration's energy policy?

 Jim in Rochester, MI

 Steve Largent - Religiously Insane

  Click  Here

 What's the difference between elections in America and Iraq?

  In Iraq, they count the votes.

 Another great flash movie by my good friend American Stranger


Smart radio


 Smirk uses sniper attacks to deploy military for domestic policing

  Click  Here

 The timing as well as the scope of this response suggests that the Bush administration
 is once again exploiting a tragedy and public fears to press an anti-democratic political
 agenda: to accustom the population to the militarization of American society, strengthen
 federal police powers, and implement sweeping governmental changes.

 I remember the hours, weeks, days and months that G. Gordon Liddy railed against
 Clinton because he suspected that Clinton might try to get around posse commitatus.
 and use the military to keep ordinary American citizens in line.

 Now that the Unelected Fraud had deployed tanks on the streets, the right-wing
 loons have decided a powerful and oppresive federal government is just what we need.

 It proves they were lying all along...

 Wednesday night, 6:30 PM CST, I placed a phone call to history.
 I expected the call to last 15-20 minutes.

 When I hung up at 9:30, I realized I'd missed West Wing.
 Mrs. Bart told me it was "the debate episode," and I had to see it.

 I don't mean to get into this habit, but if anyone has a copy of that and can
 send me a copy really quick, I'd sure like to see it before next week's West Wing.

 Can you help?

 Cash or trade or favor in return.
 PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK  74155

 Fest Stuff


 You're very welcome, and my sincere thanks in return for your engineering what was a pretty good time.
 I was going to write shortly to let you know I'm glad we all apparently made it back in one piece.
 (It was also good to hear you on Mike Malloy's show last week.)

 I did overdo the tequila Saturday night, and had a pretty miserable early Sunday morning as a result,
 but I guess I can't hold you personally responsible for that.  ;-)

 Considering we're all convinced that the country is being run by a bunch of psychopaths who are busily
 ripping us blind, and may very possibly get us all killed, I'd have to say we seemed like a pretty happy
 group of people.  Maybe we think the world's coming to an end, but at least we've managed to keep
 our sense of humor about it.

 Here's to us getting together again sometime, in better times.


 Political Assassination:  From JFK to Al Gore
   by Elizabeth Handley <gorewon> of the Green Press

  Click  Here

 The concept of a liberal media bias is a myth.  Most of the mainstream media is
 owned by giant corporations closely associated with the Republican Party.
 Now the GOP engages in political assassination by virtue of ridicule and control
 of the press.  Lazy reporting, pack journalism, and GOP spin dominated the press
 during the 2000 presidential campaign and election.  The mass media technique of
 "distort, distract, and trash" continues to enable the right-wing agenda.

 Goofy Campaign Ads

"Chambliss Is Shameless: Morphing Cleland With Usama!"

 I knew Chambliss had called war hero Cleland unpatriotic but
 I didn't realise the extent of his shamelessness; until recently.

 Chambliss aired an ad showing Cleland's face morphing into Usama's face and
 calling him unpatriotic because he objected to ONE provision in the Homeland Security Bill.

 Chambliss managed to wriggle out of Vietnam service with an alleged bad knee.
 Meanwhile, Cleland got BOTH legs and an arm blown away in Vietnam.

 Morphing a true American war hero with Usama is inane.

 Chambliss is an idiotic coward in more ways than one.
 While he got of duty because of an alleged bad knee,
 Cleland was fighting for our country.

 Patrick Schiappa


"I beg you, help save America before yours is a legacy of shame and horror.
  Sacrificing American soldiers or innocent civilians in an unprecedented preemptive
  attack on a separate sovereign nation may well prove itself a most temporary medicine."
     -- Modanna's ex-husband, Sean

 A poem sent in by Nuveeeeena

  Click  Here

 Bartcop, now is not the time for bashing Dems

  Click  Here

 Dem bashing, speculating about forming third parties, telling folks that withholding support
 from the Democratic Party is somehow a good thing and so forth is getting pretty dang close
 to the same short-sighted rhetoric we get from Naderites and Michael Moore.

 The Jessica Lange Film Festival 2002

  Click  Here

  It's not what you think...

 They say if you Go Here and click on the pink ribbon,
 The Signa Foundation will donate $1 to breast cancer research.

 It looks legit, ...but sometimes it's hard for one to tell...

Harmony Cedar


"We need to think about Saddam Hussein using al-Qaida to do his dirty work,
   to not leave fingerprints behind...

 Please forget that he could be describing his Dad's relations with bin Laden in the eighties...

 "This is a man who we know has had connections with al-Qaida."

 Please forget that Reagan and Bush had connections with al-Qaeda in the eighties....

  This is a man who, in my judgment, would like to use al-Qaida as a forward army."
    --Dubya, at Dearborn, 10/14/02, describing what his father did to create
       al-Qaeda in the eighties to battle the Russians who invaded Afghanistan.

 I wonder how many Bush-provided Stinger missles bin Laden has left?

 Goofy Campaign Ads

We have a doozy of an ad playing here in MA for Mitt Romney.
It was supposed to save him, but it hasn't - not at ALL.

Apparently, his focus group guy told him that despite his being a devilishly handsome rake
who looks GREAT in a crew neck sweater over an Oxford shirt, women don't much like him.
So, he did an ad where he sort of chronicles his early relationship with Mrs. Romney.
We learn that they met when she was 15, and their first date was a prom (hers? his? who knows).

Romney, whose dad was the district manager for AMC, or something like that, cruised up
in his BRAND NEW Marlin to pick her up. She says she hated the car, and he agrees,
that it was a really ugly car and sort of embarrassing. To sum up to this point, we've learned
that he was dating an under age girl, in a car which was given to him, but which he hated.

Next, he tells us that he worked nights at Stanford as a security guard to make the money to
fly home every weekend to see the future Mrs. Romney. They both giggle over the fact that
his parents had NO IDEA he wasn't back at Stanford, studying. Okay, so he snuck around
and lied to the parents who GAVE HIM A FREE FUCKING CAR, which he didn't much like!!!

Where did he stay? Did they stay together? Did she lie to her parents, too? Did they have premarital sex?
I'm speculating here, but I bet the answers are The No-tell Motel, Yes, YES, YES and YES!!!!!

The last scene is the Money Shot you've probably heard about.
Mitt and his boys frolic playfully in bathing suits, rasseling the way men do, and pushing
each other into the water. It's supposed to thrill us gals but, truthfully,  I'd say it's probably
helping him most with the Log Cabin Republicans who should be voting for him anyway.


 BartFest report
     by BartCop, last chance

  Click Here

The Pieman


 Vic the Crazed Racist took Thursday off.

 That's why there was no Thursday issue.
 Take my day job - please!

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The eternal gratitude of the entire BartCop Team, and the
    satisfaction of knowing you have made the hammer higher.

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 We've got to build a bigger hammer.
 The illegal President Dimm Sonn needs to be stopped.

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 To: jfalwell@falwell.com

 Subject: if Jesus's central message was LOVE...

 ...and TOLLERANCE, how can a hate filled, exclusionary person
 such as yourself claim to represent him?

 just curious. i know your whole organisation is a scam.
 it's all about money and control of scared little sheep.

 enjoy your stay in hell, if there is such a place.
 all i know is i want to go where ever you AREN'T!

 dave from joliet

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