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Why They Lied

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Volume 948 - Irritable Dow Syndrome

Please click on our sponsors

 Monday       Dec 9, 2002 


"Full statutory civilian pay increases in 2003 would interfere
  with our nation's ability to pursue the war on terrorism."
    -  The greedy fool who gave BILLIONS away to his biggest contributors

 Click  Here to tell the greedy fool that if he has to break a contract with our veterans and retirees,
                     he can damn sure delay or cancel the billion-dollar windfalls to his corporate donors.

Nobody can stop me!
I'm too smart for the Democrats!

 Henry Kissinger In Hell 
  We need more murderous criminal masterminds in power

  Click  Here

 Gosh sometimes the colon clench-inducing Bush political cowpies
 stack up so fast you almost can't keep track.

 It's getting so it's nearly impossible to follow which war-crimes monster
 or which convicted lying felon or which mysterious pro-corporate stable boy
 is heading what major investigative commission or sinister domestic-surveillance
 database or cramming what vile homeland-security bill with how many tons
 of conservative pork. Whew.

 Stossel on Sex
 or Confessions of a Teen Age Virgin (my title)
   by Tara T

  Click  Here

 I hate being made into a Stossel-mentary. Stossel doesn't know me. He doesn't know the rest of my virgin
 friends and why we chose not to have sex, and he certainly doesn't know my virgin boyfriend and why we
 have chosen to wait until we are married to have sex with each other. He feels that he doesn't have to know
 these things. All that matters are those kids that actually HAVE had sex, and all that matters is whether or
 not he can focus on them and make a problem that is getting better seem like it's getting much worse.

 Hidden from History:
 The Canadian Holocaust
 Once you dehumanize an entire race, you can do anything to them

 Click  Here

 Untold stories of the Genocide of Aboriginal People by Church & State in Canada

 Fundamentalists Losing Favor with Public

  Click  Here

 The American Family Association, a far right lobbying group in Washington,
 released results from a recent survey that shows mainstream Americans see
 evangelical Christians as one of the least likeable groups in the country.

 Researchers from the Barna survey asked respondents how they felt about evangelicals,
 born-again Christians, ministers, and other groups of people in society.   According to
 the survey, evangelicals came in tenth out of eleven, narrowly beating out prostitutes.

 Gay people, a group conservatives frequently slander and oppose politically,
 ranked significantly higher in the survey than evangelicals. .

 ha ha

 I didn't make any of this up.  I don't know a whole lot of gay people, but the ones I do know
 don't spend every one of their waking moments screaming hateful shit at some other group.

 No, that's the job of the "Christians."
 Jesus must be ashamed at the way the money-grubbing, whites-only GOP whores have
 taken his name and dragged it to the bottom of the approval list, ...even below lawyers.

 I'll bet it drives him to tears...


"Whitney Houston is wowing her fans with her new, healthy appearance."
    -- NBC's  "ET"  knock-off  "eXtra"  told that lie Saturday night.

 Yeah, the whole country is buzzing about how healthy the Scarecrow looks.

 From: Withheld

 Today is a sad day for America. The Bush Administration is busy creating more
 buying opportunities for the super-rich. United Airlines, one of the country's largest
 airlines, with close to 100,000 employees, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

 Read the National Airline Pilots Association President's statement

 Click  Here

"The aviation industry has been dealt yet another blow today as one of this nation's
 greatest airlines was forced to file for Chapter 11. Pilots across the country are
 saddened, disappointed and angry that an airline as eminent as United, which was
 used symbolically by terrorists to carry out mass destruction, is now in bankruptcy.
 It pains me to acknowledge that terrorism scored another victory today,
 and this Administration let it happen.

 Kissinger's no-press zone
 Confronting Dr. K is not part of the media’s S.O.P.
   by David Corn

  Click  Here

"Doctor Kissinger, you are one of the most notorious practitioners of clandestine warfare
 and secret government in United States history. You oversaw a covert -- and arguably illegal
 -- bombing campaign in Cambodia that killed hundreds of thousands, and you have opposed
 disclosure of information related to government misdeeds. Is that a liability or asset in your
 new post as head of the independent 9/11 commission?"

Great Christmas Gifts!

 Click  Here  for today's big and exciting

 We even got some Monkey Mail!

 If you didn't have a chance to check in over the weekend,

 Click  Here  and catch up on the excitement you missed!

..and don't forget United Airlines.
Bush promised to reverse the direction
America was heading under Bill Clinton.

 Man gets 3 years for saying "burning Bush"

  Click  Here

 Richard Humphreys of Portland, was convicted of threatening to kill or harm Bush.
 Humphreys made the remark as he talked with a truck driver at a barroom, and was
 overheard by a bartender who called the cops.

"I said God might speak to the world through a burning Bush," Humphreys testified during
 his trial in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. "I had said that before and I thought it was funny."

You still think it's funny, punk?
Ari told you people to watch what you say.
This isn't your America anymore, it's ours.

What does Marty E! have today?
'Baron' Dave Romm suggests holiday gifts.
Colin Powell and Elizabeth Taylor?
Marion Delgado with David Rees, ('Get Your War On')
Pat Robertson's interesting recommedation
Coppola pays $350,000/acre for a vineyard


 This picture of Rumsfeld and his good friend Saddam...

                                       thanks to Isaac Levine

 Does anyone know when it was taken?

 Was Rummy in Baghdad selling "Hitler" Halliburton equipment for Cheney?
 You know that Cheney did $23M worth of business with Saddam, right?
 And it was after the war he ran against Saddam in 1991, (not the picture) and
 after Saddam had gassed his own people, which is why Bush deserves Iraq's oil.

 But hey!
 A crime family has to earn, doesn't it?

 (Please distribute this photo widely. If you have a page, please add this to it)


"The administration's just acknowledged that their whole economic policy is a failure.
  Tax cuts aimed at the very wealthiest Americans, designed to take effect several
  years from now — that's not an economic policy.  That is greed and payback."
       --Al Gore, fulfilling his April 2000 pledge to fight for us

 I bought this week off to work on BartCop Radio.
 As always, stuff happens.

 My top techboy got surprise married Saturday, so his time isn't as dependable as it was
 when I arranged for the week off.   We're still hoping to get some stuff done but I was hoping
 we'd use every day that I'm off work, but now we can't start configurin' till tonight.


 It's not too early to start sending in your sound files.

 What we need is short, short stuff - 30 seconds maximum.
 We'll eventually be multi-capable, but for now, send MP3s only.

 If you've ever been on Rush (Bernie, I'm talking to you) or if you have some short snippets
 of anything that's remotely related to whatever - e-mail it to me at bartcop@bartcop.com

 If you search the newsgroups for funny Homerisms, or anything that's fun audio - send it.
 If you have a microphone and a sense of humor, record your own stuff and send it. (Keep it short)
 If you do impressions of anybody we can use, record some stuff and send it in.

 Koresh, we could make Friday Keroke night.
 I have a file of our own Tamara Baker singing "Ain't gonna work on Dubya's farm no more"
 that everyone will hear unless Tamara starts sending me $20 a week.

 Remember Serdar?  He's got a great radio voice, and he recorded some early bartcop rants
 (from my blue period) that I still have - somewhere.  (Serdar, you still have them, too?)

 The possibilities are endless!  I could buy a recorder for the phone and start calling
 Republican's offices - asking them to explain their wacky positions on issues!

 I think BartCop Radio is gonna rule!  We read a little news, take a few phone calls,
 play a few pranks on some very deserving Republicans, play some sound files sent in by you,
 and since we have no bosses - we can do any goddamn thing we want!

 And don't think I'll be using bad language all the time - cause I won't.
 But being FREE to do that is everything this country was built on.
 Screw the FCC - we don't need no stinking license!

 Cue the violins

 I'm a gambler.
 I'd like to chuck my stupid do-nothing day job and do BartCop Radio right now, cause if we
 started now, I think in 30 days we'd have the most bad-ass, entertaining treehouse on the net.


 Mrs. Bart and I have 23 years paying into the mortgage on BartCop Manor.
 If the radio thing doesn't fly, and I had to go back to a dayjob that might not exist because
 the Illegal Fraud stole our right to have our votes counted to pad his oil-hungry greedy pockets,
 we could lose the house and I can't do that to her.

 Oldtimers remember the story of the Hard Rock Island.
 I bought a live rock n roll club in 1985 and we had the time of our lives,
 and rewards are still coming to us from those fun days, but Ol' Dumbass couldn't make it fly
 on a shoestring budget and we lost the $40K that I borrowed from Mastercard.

 As a couple looking to retire someday, that set us back a few years and I can't ask her to go thru that again.
 Koresh, I'm gonna be 50 in September, we can't keep starting over from scratch.

 But there is good news.

 If three percent of bartcop.com readers subscribed for $10 a month,
 that would equal three months pay from my weenie job and I could justify taking the risk.
 A three-month buffer ought to do it, because if you like  bartcop.com I think BartCop Radio
 will be the same, but about ten times over, and hopefully you'll continue the subscription.

 Just think of red-assing the ditto-monkeys live!

 Woo Hoo!

 But there is bad news.

 Bandwidth on streaming audio is expensive.  They'd charge us a fee everytime somebody clicked
 on for a listen, so to keep the stalkers away this would be a subscription service, but hold on.

 The plan right now ( you know how plans can change) is the radio show will be free to all subscribers.
 That includes anybody from $5 on up.  But once we get on the air, I think $10 a month is reasonable.
 Hey, sign up for a month - if it blows, just unsubscribe and you ended up losing $10.

 We'll also have ths shows archived. If you can't listen at work, you can hear that day's show when you
 get home at night. OR we may do the show at night and you can hear the replay the next day.

 Yeah, a live nightly show where one could sample God's sweet Chinaco and talk politics!

 Woo Hoo!

 We're days away from finding out if this will work. But if three percent of you were to check in,
 with your discount, half-off subscription of just $5 a month, we could make this fly!

 In closing (thank you, God) consider the $5 subscription and save half your money by being
 a BartCop Pioneer (stole that from the GOP). We're damn close to having BartCop Radio.
 It's gonna happen, so why should we wait another 6-8 months to get started?

 Let's start now.

 I'm off all this week, working on this. If you're able, send me some encouragement.
 If you're not a subscriber, think how much fun BartCop Radio is likely to be.
 If you are a subscriber, consider a small bump if you can afford it.

 By the way, this will NOT affect the page.

 We'll still have the everyday page, and it'll probably be a better page because I'll be able to work
 on it even when my boss would rather I be driving a 98 Mustang to Muskogee, Oklahoma.
 So send me some encouragement.
 Make me confident I can dump my loser day job without costing Mrs Bart her house.

 BartCop Radio  is just what America needs.

 If we had enough $10 subscribers, we could make Rush and Bush and Barney eat it every day.
 Is  Bartcop Radio worth $10 a month?

  Click  Here   to get links for other amounts

 Have a job opening?   Need a job?

  Visit the resume page
  Click  Here  to e-mail your resume to Ed.  Now with working link!
  Send him the details you want published.

  Right now, President Tax-cut-for-the-rich is down 2 million jobs.
  If we can put just one person to work, our record will be better than his.

 Update - only three resumes so far.
                Does that mean, besides those three, everyone who wants a job has one?
                Is Bush doing that good of a job handling the economy?

                If you don't have a resume, or don't know how to do one, sent that comment
                to Ed and maybe we can create a job creating resumes.


 "The Saudis said today they are cracking down on terrorists.
  They've compiled a list of all the known terrorists in Saudi Arabia.
  I think that’s called the phone book."
     --Jay Leno

                                      DC says "NO" to an oil war for the B.F.E.E.

      picture from  http://www.mccullagh.org/image/d30-30/anti-war-protest-8.html

 For the just-announced bowl lineups and more, visit the all-new 


"I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president we voted for him.
  We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had of followed our lead we wouldn’t of had
  all these problems over all these years, either.”
   -- Trent Lott, (R-KKK) bemoaning the "negro problems" that civil rights caused.

 From: David Barnes

 Subject:  prove you wrong?

 Dear Deceived,

 You don't need to be proven wrong. Your ignorance and blatant stupidity keep you from seeing the truth.
 If you think that there is no liberal media you need to open your eyes and look around.

 Barney, I didn't say there was "no liberal media."
 I said we're out-numbered about 15-to-1.
 Does 15-to-1 mean zero in Monkeyland?

 Not only are there countless "talking heads" that promote the leftist agenda in the media, BUT you guys
 have almost all the syndicated programming promoting your views and ideology to the millions of brain-dead
 couch potatoes that sit glued to the television everyday. I think that the media (with talk radio in the mix)
 is actually becoming more balanced, and that's exactly what the left fears.

 Barney, ...are you a gambler?
 Have you ever wanted to put your money where your mouth is?
 I have an idea that I was waiting to spring on the next "brave" conservative.

 Let's pick a date, you and me.  Let's agree on, ...say, ...Wednesday, December 11th.

 Now, I don't know what the news will be that day - and neither do you.
 So why don't you pick three 30-minute segments by a network or nationally syndicated liberal,
 and together, we'll count the number of outright lies and personal slurs they sling at Republicans.

 Meanwhile, I'll pick three half-hours of network or national TV/Radio Nazi bastards spewing hate
 against liberals, and we'll compare notes Thursday to see which side has the most low-blow attacks.
 We'll count them, you and me. Let's see how "fair and balanced" the media is these days.

 You in for a bet like that, Barney?

 Let's bet a hundred dollars to go to The American Cancer Society, you up for that?
 Since you seem to think it's pretty even, you're ready to chomp at this bet, right?

 They must be 3 liberals we all know and can hear, so taping it will settle the score.
 By the way, I'll be picking the first half hours Rush, and then Hannity and O'Reilly on Fox.
 So pick three network or nationally syndicated liberals and let count slurs, OK?

 This is no trick - the only caveat is they gotta be liberals I can hear in Oklahoma.  Don't pick Bobby Corning
 from Orlando and Luke Bowden from Madison. I never heard of them and nobody else has, either
 Pick Alan Colmes, and ...and, ...and, ...are there any other liberals on TV or radio in America?

 ha ha

 You see?
 You've already lost the bet!

 You don't have a chance, Barney, and I'm letting you out easy
 That's a gift I gave you, Barney, because it's f-ing Christmas!
 But then again, if you still think what you wrote was true - if you have some balls - let's bet.
 The worst that can happen is some cancer victims will get your hundred bucks.

 So what do you think, Barney?
 Is the media about evenly balanced?
 Do you want to take what you said back, or are you ready to risk that hundred on this bet?

 With that said, I have a suggestion;
 Why don't you stop whining and start your own talk radio show?

 Barney, Proud Conservative

 Barney, you read my mind.
 If we had enough $10 subscribers, we could make Rush and Bush and Barney eat it every day.
 Is  Bartcop Radio worth $10 a month?

  Click  Here   to get links for other amounts

 Pop Quiz

 A reader named Mark closed a note with:

 ...although charlton heston is my president!

 ...and I got to wondering: Who is the stupidest Republican President?

President Dim Son,
President Ford (when he's sober)
President Reagan
President Heston?

 Or is it a four-way draw?

Great  FOB's  Literary  Gift  Ideas

        Martin                         Brock               Lyons-Conason            Dowbenko                  McDougal
......................        .........
   Click to order               Click to order     .   .   Click to order             Click to order             Click to order

Ho'Reilly...   ho...Bennett    ho...Snow!

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