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Volume 981 - The Spy Who Lubed Me 

 Click and learn how we can help you win!

 Friday    January 24, 2003 


“This is the worst president ever.
  He is the worst president in all of American history.”
    -- Helen Thomas, who tells the truth because they can't screw her career

  Full Article

 Oil war

 Have you heard this one?

"We have to go to war with Iraq now, because Bush said we would, and he'd lose face
  if he backed down and America can't afford to lose face in the eyes of the Middle East."

 So, all those young Americans will die because Bush can't control his mouth?

 We have to sacrifice our best fighting men because the unelected idiot isn't mature?

 Why isn't Condi doing a better job keeping an eye on Junior?

 Did the bastard president go off-script because of his little-boy temper tantrums?

 Did he miss his nap, and become cranky?  That's why we're going to war?

 Is that why hundreds or thousands of men will have to go door-to-door,
 house to house, building to building, palace to palace looking for Saddam?

 ...because Bush is out of control?

 Korean Crisis Befuddles Bush
  by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

"...the Bush administration’s demeanor in the face of [North Korean] provocations is bland,
 mild, almost pacifist. The first instinct at the White House was to conceal what Pyongyang
 had been doing. Then, after a few tough-talking tantrums and denunciations, Washington
 reverted to expressing "disappointment," dispatching emissaries, hinting at negotiations and,
 most recently, promising aid and perhaps diplomatic recognition.

 Toward the Iraqis, who have no strategic weapons, the Bush administration’s response has
 been increasingly implacable and ominous. Every move by Baghdad is denounced as too little,
 too late, too clever and too uncooperative, as the U.S. deploys tens of thousands of troops,
 thousands of tons of weaponry and hundreds of aircraft in the Gulf region.

 Ally desertion update

 We've already lost France, Germany and Russia.

 Thursday Canada said that they would not join us in the fake oil war with Iraq
 Friday, Turkey says there's no reason for Iraq to give up WMD if the US has them

 So, who's left with us, Great Britain?
 Well, the people of the UK don't want any part of this war, but the B.F.E.E. has offered
 Tony Blair tens of millions of oil dollars when he joins the Carlyle Group,  so Blair has no
 problem sending The Queen's Finest to a bloody, sandy death

 Tony, that money is inportant, right?

  Bush as a B-Grade Nixon
 Selling a War No One Wants
   by Jason Leopold

  Click  Here

 President Bush said the Iraq conflict is like watching a "rerun of a bad movie." But clearly,
 the only bad movie Americans are being forced to watch all over again are the Nixon-like
 qualities--the paranoia, the secrecy and lies--that Bush recycled from Tricky Dick and is
 now the standard operating procedure for the Bush administration.

 Iraq just happens to be the icing on the cake. There are still the thorny questions that linger
 about what Bush knew about the September 11 terrorist attacks and when he knew it;
 Cheney' refusal to turn over the names of the people his energy task force met with and
 the desire to start a war with Iraq without proving to the world first that the country has
 weapons of mass destruction. All of these issues require answers. In the three years that
 Bush has been in office, he hasn't answered one.

 I have a question for the Illegal Usurper.
How many times have you been arrested,
and for what crimes have you been convicted?

 If America had a free press, we would've gotten that answer before the 2000 election,
 but they were afraid to let us make an informed decision about our next president.


"Unemployment, up by 2.2 million -- 2.2 million people lost their jobs under Bush.
  Stock market down 38 percent under Bush. Poverty up 1.3 million under Bush.
  Homelessness up 19 percent. Budget deficit way up from a $300 billion surplus,
  a $300 billion deficit. The uninsured people without health care, up 1.4 million.
  This is the Bush economic record. Now, are we better off than we were two years ago?"
       --Paul Begala, speaking the truth, Crossfire, 01/23/03


 I went to a nice little Mexican restaurant last night that had one of the most impressive tequila
 menus I've ever seen.  I thought this might be a good time to give your favorite tequila a try.

 In the past you've mentioned that it has kind of a fruity flavor.
 At least I think I remember you saying that.  I didn't think so.
 I thought that it tasted remarkably like ceveche, a Mexican dish using cold fish.
 I like ceveche a lot, and Anejo seemed like the perfect tequilla to go with it.

 Excellent food and tequila at La Fiesta.  Anyone in the San Francisco Bay area might want
 to give it a try.  It's in Mountain View near the corner of Villa and Calderon.  Ask for Steve.
 Tell him Jim and Cosette sent you, and that you heard about it on Bartcop.

 Jim H.

 Jim, you think Chinaco Anejo tastes like cold fish?
 It's barrelled with baked apples, papaya, mango and wildflowers, and you tasted fish?


 This Just In...
 Sorry this issue is late. I had to beat up The Bank of America.

  Click  Here

 First thing I did was get a business card from the teller who screwed me, and I said
 I needed to speak with someone with the authority to back date a deposit. The tellers
 stupidly confirmed that "Peggy" and "Donna" were both able to back date deposits.
 Now they had nowhere to go - nowhere at all.    I had 'em.

 American Idle
Thanks to Jon Stewart

 The Vidiot is pissed

  Click  Here


"It was a beautiful day in California, but back East, it’s freezing!
  It was so cold in DC, Strom Thurmond’s teeth were chattering in the glass
  It was so cold in Florida, R. Kelly’s tongue got stuck on a swing set."
    --Jay Leno

Check Marty's E! page
Super Bowl halftime is No Doubt and Shania
Kevin Spacey raising funds with Elton John
'The Osbournes' ratings falling
Jerry Springer, democrat for the Senate?
'The Rock' is Buford Pusser
US airbrushed McCartney's cigarette from 'Abbey Road'
Lee Majors is suing Universal, probably over acting lessons


 What keeps Bush from planting WMD in Iraq?

  Click  Here

 The obvious and frightening conclusion is that Bush will do anything to seize the oil and
 perceived dignity that he believes Iraq has stolen from his family. It would not be going out
 on a limb to speculate that Bush would be willing to smuggle in some freshly produced WMD
 (perhaps some sarin or even a jug or two of mustard gas) made in the good old US of A and
 delivered through CIA outlets. It's actually quite simple.  Plop the WMD in the ground with a
 noticeable "man-made mound" for inspectors to find. Have the intelligence agency inform the
 inspectors of the mysterious mound and let the rest take care of itself.

 Instant UN approval.
 Instant decimation.
 Instant $5 barrels of oil.

 This is what happens when you have an oil slick as president.


“Karl Rove called Bush a Teddy Roosevelt Republican. Now, I checked this out.
  TR created five national parks. Bush increased air pollution in national parks.
  Roosevelt created 230 million acres of new federal land he preserved.
  Bush wants to drill in the Arctic. Roosevelt protected rivers and streams.
  Bush, of course, 500 percent increase in arsenic in the drinking water.
  TR is spinning in his grave, man. What is Karl smoking?"
     --Paul Begala, just the facts. ma'am, Crossfire, 01/23/03

 I realize nobody cares what Tulsa AM Ditto-Monkey Michael Del Giorno says,
 but I want to point out what happens when only one side of the story is presented.

 "I'm so pretty."

 He's been railing non-stop about the economic woes facing all fifty states.
 Of course, he can't blame Bush because Mikey is a super-Christian Republican, like George.
(He can't tell the truth because he's a Christian?)

 He's been screaming at Grey Davis for "bankrupting California with stupid liberal policies,"
 but when he explains Oklahoma's bankrupt status, he blames current Oklahoma Governor
 Brad Henry, (D-Cock-fighter) who took the oath of office ten days ago.

 He can't be honest and blame former Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating,
 because Keating is a super-Christian Republican like George and Del Giorno.

 He's so blatantly dishonest, blaming David but not Keating, but that's what happens when
 the majority isn't represented in the media. Mikey always refers to "the 90's" as a time
 when we were busting from too much prosperity, but he won't credit Clinton, that's for sure.

 When we light up the BartCop mic, you're going to hear some much-needed honesty,
 and the proof will be in the open phones that enabled ditto-monkeys to speak their piece

 Last thing:
 He spent much of yesterday bragging about his third wedding anniversary.
 Of course, he's on his second wife, yet he still had the gall to go on and on
 about how "marriage is a sacred covenant between the devoted couple and God."

 Hey Mikey, I have a thunderbolt for you.
 Ol' Bart and his wife celebrated their 26th anniversary last year.

 My two-week marriage to Debby Boone in 1975 doesn't count.

 So far, I haven't found a reason to trade in my wife like you did, Mikey.
 By the way, what was God's reaction when you, His close, personal friend, told Him
 that you decided to take a dump on the "sacred covenant" you two shared with Him?

 Michael, you're such a religious fraud.

 The Spider debate never materialized last night.

 About 45 people showed up to witness the redding, but no Spidey. Apparently, he got the time wrong,
 which could happen to anyone - even myself.  But from my e-mails with him, I've come to the conclusion
 that he is more of a name-caller than debater, but I'm not cancelling the debate.

 If Spider sends me an e-mail free of personal insults, an e-mail that says,
"Yes, I'd like to debate the ideas and opinions you have published on your website,"
 we can try again for 8 PM CDT tonight.


"I question things, and I do not believe Bush simply because he says something.
  And I don’t believe MSNBC, CNN, BBC, or any of the rest of them simply because they say it.
  The fact is that-why did we not have any fighter jets around the Pentagon after two jets had
  slammed into the WTC, a third jet was heading at full speed towards the Pentagon on FAA radar,
  and yet we had no fighter jets around the Pentagon. George Bush should be impeached for
  criminal negligence at best. And that doesn’t even factor in-that does not even factor in that
  he didn’t receive the majority of votes. How is it possible there were no jets around the
  Pentagon and we have no independent investigation?"
    -- Ken Nichols O’Keefe, speaking to Mike Barnacle on MSNBC

 Full Transcript

 Note: I like a lot of what this guy says, but he's leading a team of "human shields" to Iraq.
 That's a bad idea - a really bad idea. It's like laying on the tracks before a nuclear waste train.
 Maybe it's different if you think there's a Heaven, but I'm sure there's not.

 ha ha

 End of his first hour Friday, Rush said France and Germany have "dirty hands"
 and don't want to go to war with Iraq because THEY furnished Saddam with WMD
 and they don't want the world to know about their crimes.

 ha ha

 I think all the guilty sons of bitches who armed Saddam should be exposed,
 and the top people should be put in front of a war crimes tribunal at The Hague.

 That would put the American "president" behind bars.
 That would put the American "vice-president" behind bars.
 That would put the American president Bush 41 behind bars.

 ...and we'll let Reagan the Puppet go, because he didn't understand anything
 that was going on when Bush ran the White House from 1981 to 1993.

Yeah, let's air this dirty laundry for all the world to see.


"It was so cold today where I live, squirrels were throwing themselves at my electric fence.
  It was so cold in Time Square that I saw a stripper frozen to a pole.
  It’s so cold that P. Diddy has changed his name to Frozen P."

  It is cold where you are?
 A "What did Bush know?" sweatshirt would keep you warm.

                   front                                                 back


"The pools that show Bush dropping are fake, they don't mean anything.
   It's just a snapshot in time, nothing more. They're not important."
     -- the lying, vulgar Pigboy, opening minutes Friday's show

 But Rush, when the polls said Bush was at 89 percent, you said they counted.
 You said America loved Bush because they were the smartest, most informed people
 to ever answer a polsster's questions because  had educated them.

 So, Rush, did   uneducate the people, now that Bush has fallen to 50 percent?

 Tastes Great vs Less Filling

 I'm surprised that the media has gone bonkers over the Miller Lite commercial.
 I'm sure you've seen it, two women arguing (like that'd happen) about beer and
 they end up in a fountain tearing at each other's clothes screaming "tastes" or "less."

 I've heard a dozen wannabe Rush-Nazis talk about it, I've seen columns on it,
 it's been fodder for all five late night talk show hosts, but nobody has said the ovbious.

 The first thing I thought of was Joan Collins and Linda Evans.

 Back in the 80's, Dallas and Dynasty were required viewing, and the most lasting
 image from Dynasty has to be Alexis and Crystal rolling around in the "cement pond,"
 screaming and pulling each other's hair out.   Am I the only one who remembers?

 And how offensive can mud-wrestling women be when NBC's Fear Factor shows
 people actually ingesting horse anus for America's entertainment?

 This country is full of dimwits, terrorists and Nazi racists, so let's not to throttle up
 on some silly-ass beer commercial that harkens back to simpler times, OK?

 Have you been to The News Channel?


Teddy bears, shirts, coffee mugs, caps etc

 C-SPAN's Book TV will be rebroadcasting Susan's Little Rock
 bookstore talk on Sunday, January 26th at 10am, and again at 10pm.

 o  CBS National Weekend news segment to air the weekend of 1/24/03

 o  Geraldo Jan. 26th
 o  Larry King Live Jan. 29

 Barnes & Noble Los Angeles (Grove), 2/6/03
 Borders San Francisco (Union Square), 2/8/03
 Barnes & Noble Emeryville, 2/10/03
 Borders Seattle (12:30 p.m.), 2/12/03
 Elliott Bay Seattle (5:30 p.m.), 2/12/03

 From: The San Fran Kid


 On one hand, it seems encouraging that Bush is losing support from all over.
 But on the other hand, I fear that another "terrorist" attack is in the works.

 Last time Bush lost all support and his popularity rating had fallen to 50%
 was just about 9/10/2001.

 Bush wants war, Pentagon urges caution

  Click  Here

 Senior Pentagon officials are quietly urging Bush to slow down his headlong rush to war
 with Iraq, complaining the administration’s course of action represents too much of a shift
 of America’s longstanding “no first strike” policy and that the move could well result in
 conflicts with other Arab nations.

“We have a dangerous role reversal here,” one Pentagon source tells Capitol Hill Blue.
“The civilians are urging war and the uniformed officers are urging caution.”

 Kill the Iraqis! Kill Saddam!
 Kill him right now! Kill them all!
 Saddam's calling my bluff!
 For that he must die.
 I wanna kill!
 I want that oil!
 I always get what I want!
 I wanna kill! That oil is mine!


"I think we are where we are because this president cannot handle complexity."
       --Arianna Huffington, speaking at the Annenberg Center

 ha ha

 The fake president can't handle the complexity of chewing pretzels.

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $5 a month?

 Is  Bartcop Radio  worth $10 a month?

  Thanks to Bruce Yurgil

 They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
 The Internet Resistance is all we have.

 Click  Here   to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later


"A new government report says the gap between the rich and poor has grown.
  President Bush said, 'See my policies do work.' ”

Visit the all-new 

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  Over 30 resumes, but since we're under illegal occupation, nobody is hiring.

  Visit the resume page

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