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POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
“This is
the worst president ever.
He is the worst president in all of American history.”
-- Helen Thomas, who tells the truth because they
can't screw her career
Have you heard this one?
"We have to go to war with Iraq now,
because Bush said we would, and he'd lose face
if he backed down and America can't
afford to lose face in the eyes of the Middle East."
So, all those young Americans will die because Bush can't control his mouth?
We have to sacrifice our best fighting men because the unelected idiot isn't mature?
Why isn't Condi doing a better job keeping an eye on Junior?
Did the bastard president go off-script because of his little-boy temper tantrums?
Did he miss his nap, and become cranky? That's why we're going to war?
Is that why hundreds or thousands of men will have to go door-to-door,
house to house, building to building, palace to palace looking
for Saddam?
...because Bush is out of control?
Korean
Crisis Befuddles Bush
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
"...the Bush administration’s demeanor in the
face of [North Korean] provocations is bland,
mild, almost pacifist. The first instinct
at the White House was to conceal what Pyongyang
had been doing. Then, after a few tough-talking
tantrums and denunciations, Washington
reverted to expressing "disappointment,"
dispatching emissaries, hinting at negotiations and,
most recently, promising aid and perhaps
diplomatic recognition.
Toward the Iraqis, who have no strategic
weapons, the Bush administration’s response has
been increasingly implacable and ominous.
Every move by Baghdad is denounced as too little,
too late, too clever and too uncooperative,
as the U.S. deploys tens of thousands of troops,
thousands of tons of weaponry and hundreds
of aircraft in the Gulf region.
Ally desertion update
We've already lost France, Germany and Russia.
Thursday Canada said that they would not join us in the
fake oil war with Iraq
Friday, Turkey says there's no reason for Iraq
to give up WMD if the US has them
So, who's left with us, Great Britain?
Well, the people of the UK don't want any part of this war, but
the B.F.E.E. has offered
Tony Blair tens of millions of oil dollars when he joins the
Carlyle Group, so Blair has no
problem sending The Queen's Finest to a bloody, sandy death
Tony, that money is inportant, right?
Bush as a B-Grade Nixon
Selling
a War No One Wants
by Jason Leopold
Excerpt:
President Bush said the Iraq conflict is
like watching a "rerun of a bad movie." But clearly,
the only bad movie Americans are being
forced to watch all over again are the Nixon-like
qualities--the paranoia, the secrecy and
lies--that Bush recycled from Tricky Dick and is
now the standard operating procedure for
the Bush administration.
Iraq just happens to be the icing on the
cake. There are still the thorny questions that linger
about what Bush knew about the September
11 terrorist attacks and when he knew it;
Cheney' refusal to turn over the names
of the people his energy task force met with and
the desire to start a war with Iraq without
proving to the world first that the country has
weapons of mass destruction. All of these
issues require answers. In the three years that
Bush has been in office, he hasn't answered
one.
I have a question for the Illegal Usurper.
How many times have you been arrested,
and for what crimes have you been convicted?
If America had a free press, we would've gotten that answer before
the 2000 election,
but they were afraid to let us make an informed decision about
our next president.
Quotes
"Unemployment, up by 2.2 million -- 2.2 million
people lost their jobs under Bush.
Stock market down 38 percent under
Bush. Poverty up 1.3 million under Bush.
Homelessness up 19 percent. Budget
deficit way up from a $300 billion surplus,
a $300 billion deficit. The uninsured
people without health care, up 1.4 million.
This is the Bush economic record. Now,
are we better off than we were two years ago?"
--Paul Begala, speaking the truth,
Crossfire, 01/23/03
BC:
I went to a nice little Mexican restaurant
last night that had one of the most impressive tequila
menus I've ever seen. I thought this
might be a good time to give your favorite tequila a try.
In the past you've mentioned that it has
kind of a fruity flavor.
At least I think I remember you saying
that. I didn't think so.
I thought that it tasted remarkably like
ceveche, a Mexican dish using cold fish.
I like ceveche a lot, and Anejo seemed
like the perfect tequilla to go with it.
Excellent food and tequila at La Fiesta.
Anyone in the San Francisco Bay area might want
to give it a try. It's in Mountain
View near the corner of Villa and Calderon. Ask for Steve.
Tell him Jim and Cosette sent you, and
that you heard about it on Bartcop.
Cheers!
Jim H.
Jim, you think Chinaco Anejo tastes like cold fish?
It's barrelled with baked apples, papaya, mango and wildflowers,
and you tasted fish?
Hmmmm...
This Just In...
Sorry this issue is late. I had to beat up The Bank of America.
Excerpt:
First thing I did was get a business card
from the teller who screwed me, and I said
I needed to speak with someone with the
authority to back date a deposit. The tellers
stupidly confirmed that "Peggy" and "Donna"
were both able to back date deposits.
Now they had nowhere to go - nowhere at
all. I had 'em.
American Idle
Thanks to Jon Stewart
The Vidiot is pissed
Quotes
"It was a beautiful day in California, but
back East, it’s freezing!
It was so cold in DC, Strom Thurmond’s
teeth were chattering in the glass
It was so cold in Florida, R. Kelly’s
tongue got stuck on a swing set."
--Jay Leno
Check Marty's
E! page
Super Bowl halftime is No Doubt and Shania
Kevin Spacey raising funds with Elton John
'The Osbournes' ratings falling
Jerry Springer, democrat for the Senate?
'The Rock' is Buford Pusser
US airbrushed McCartney's cigarette from 'Abbey Road'
Lee Majors is suing Universal, probably over acting lessons
click
Excerpt:
The obvious and frightening conclusion
is that Bush will do anything to seize the oil and
perceived dignity that he believes Iraq
has stolen from his family. It would not be going out
on a limb to speculate that Bush would
be willing to smuggle in some freshly produced WMD
(perhaps some sarin or even a jug or two
of mustard gas) made in the good old US of A and
delivered through CIA outlets. It's actually
quite simple. Plop the WMD in the ground with a
noticeable "man-made mound" for inspectors
to find. Have the intelligence agency inform the
inspectors of the mysterious mound and
let the rest take care of itself.
Boom.
Instant UN approval.
Instant decimation.
Instant $5 barrels of oil.
This is what happens when you have an oil slick as president.
Quotes
“Karl Rove called Bush a Teddy Roosevelt Republican.
Now, I checked this out.
TR created five national parks. Bush
increased air pollution in national parks.
Roosevelt created 230 million acres
of new federal land he preserved.
Bush wants to drill in the Arctic.
Roosevelt protected rivers and streams.
Bush, of course, 500 percent increase
in arsenic in the drinking water.
TR is spinning in his grave, man. What
is Karl smoking?"
--Paul Begala, just
the facts. ma'am, Crossfire, 01/23/03
I realize nobody cares what Tulsa AM Ditto-Monkey Michael Del
Giorno says,
but I want to point out what happens when only one side of the
story is presented.
"I'm
so pretty."
He's been railing non-stop about the economic woes facing all
fifty states.
Of course, he can't blame Bush because Mikey is a super-Christian
Republican, like George.
(He can't tell the truth because he's a Christian?)
He's been screaming at Grey Davis for "bankrupting
California with stupid liberal policies,"
but when he explains Oklahoma's bankrupt status, he blames current
Oklahoma Governor
Brad Henry, (D-Cock-fighter) who took the oath of office ten
days ago.
He can't be honest and blame former Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating,
because Keating is a super-Christian Republican like George and
Del Giorno.
He's so blatantly dishonest, blaming David but not Keating, but
that's what happens when
the majority isn't represented in the media. Mikey always
refers to "the 90's" as a time
when we were busting from too much prosperity, but he won't credit
Clinton, that's for sure.
When we light up the BartCop mic, you're going to hear some much-needed
honesty,
and the proof will be in the open phones that enabled
ditto-monkeys to speak their piece
Last thing:
He spent much of yesterday bragging about his third wedding
anniversary.
Of course, he's on his second wife, yet he still had the gall
to go on and on
about how "marriage is a sacred covenant
between the devoted couple and God."
Hey Mikey, I have a thunderbolt for you.
Ol' Bart and his wife celebrated their 26th anniversary
last year.
Sidebar:
My two-week marriage to Debby Boone in
1975 doesn't count.
So far, I haven't found a reason to trade in my wife like you
did, Mikey.
By the way, what was God's reaction when you, His close, personal
friend, told Him
that you decided to take a dump on the "sacred covenant" you
two shared with Him?
Michael, you're such a religious fraud.
The Spider debate never materialized last night.
About 45 people showed up to witness the redding, but no Spidey.
Apparently, he got the time wrong,
which could happen to anyone - even myself. But from my
e-mails with him, I've come to the conclusion
that he is more of a name-caller than debater, but I'm not cancelling
the debate.
If Spider sends me an e-mail free of personal insults, an e-mail
that says,
"Yes, I'd like to debate the ideas and opinions
you have published on your website,"
we can try again for 8 PM
tonight.
Quotes
"I question things, and I do not believe Bush
simply because he says something.
And I don’t believe MSNBC, CNN, BBC,
or any of the rest of them simply because they say it.
The fact is that-why did we not have
any fighter jets around the Pentagon after two jets had
slammed into the WTC, a third jet was
heading at full speed towards the Pentagon on FAA radar,
and yet we had no fighter jets around
the Pentagon. George Bush should be impeached for
criminal negligence at best. And that
doesn’t even factor in-that does not even factor in that
he didn’t receive the majority of votes.
How is it possible there were no jets around the
Pentagon and we have no independent
investigation?"
-- Ken Nichols O’Keefe, speaking
to Mike Barnacle on MSNBC
Note: I like a lot of what this guy
says, but he's leading a team of "human shields" to Iraq.
That's a bad idea - a really bad
idea. It's like laying on the tracks before a nuclear waste train.
Maybe it's different if you think there's
a Heaven, but I'm sure there's not.
ha ha
End of his first hour Friday, Rush said France and Germany have
"dirty
hands"
and don't want to go to war with Iraq because THEY furnished
Saddam with WMD
and they don't want the world to know about their crimes.
ha ha
I think all the guilty sons of bitches who armed Saddam
should be exposed,
and the top people should be put in front of a war crimes tribunal
at The Hague.
That would put the American "president" behind bars.
That would put the American "vice-president" behind bars.
That would put the American president Bush 41 behind bars.
...and we'll let Reagan the Puppet go, because he didn't understand
anything
that was going on when Bush ran the White House from 1981 to
1993.
Yeah, let's air this dirty laundry for all the world to see.
Quotes
"It was so cold today where I live, squirrels
were throwing themselves at my electric fence.
It was so cold in Time Square that
I saw a stripper frozen to a pole.
It’s so cold that P. Diddy has changed
his name to Frozen P."
--Dave
It is cold where you are?
A "What
did Bush know?" sweatshirt would keep you warm.
front
back
Quotes
"The pools that show Bush dropping are fake,
they don't mean anything.
It's just a snapshot in time,
nothing more. They're not important."
-- the lying, vulgar Pigboy, opening minutes
Friday's show
But Rush, when the polls said Bush was at 89 percent, you said
they counted.
You said America loved Bush because they were the smartest,
most informed people
to ever answer a polsster's questions because 
had educated them.
So, Rush, did
uneducate the people, now that Bush has fallen to 50 percent?
Tastes Great vs Less Filling
I'm surprised that the media has gone bonkers over the Miller
Lite commercial.
I'm sure you've seen it, two women arguing (like that'd happen)
about beer and
they end up in a fountain tearing at each other's clothes screaming
"tastes" or "less."
I've heard a dozen wannabe Rush-Nazis talk about it, I've seen
columns on it,
it's been fodder for all five late night talk show hosts, but
nobody has said the ovbious.
The first thing I thought of was Joan Collins and Linda Evans.
Back in the 80's, Dallas and Dynasty
were required viewing, and the most lasting
image from Dynasty has to be Alexis
and Crystal rolling around in the "cement pond,"
screaming and pulling each other's hair
out. Am I the only one who remembers?
And how offensive can mud-wrestling women
be when NBC's Fear Factor shows
people actually ingesting horse anus
for America's entertainment?
This country is full of dimwits, terrorists
and Nazi racists, so let's not to throttle up
on some silly-ass beer commercial that
harkens back to simpler times, OK?
Have you been to The News Channel?
Teddy bears, shirts, coffee mugs, caps etc
C-SPAN's Book TV will be rebroadcasting
Susan's Little Rock
bookstore talk on Sunday, January 26th
at 10am, and again at 10pm.
o CBS National Weekend news segment to air the weekend of 1/24/03
o Geraldo Jan. 26th
o Larry King Live Jan. 29
Events:
Barnes & Noble Los Angeles (Grove),
2/6/03
Borders San Francisco (Union Square), 2/8/03
Barnes & Noble Emeryville, 2/10/03
Borders Seattle (12:30 p.m.), 2/12/03
Elliott Bay Seattle (5:30 p.m.), 2/12/03
From: The San Fran Kid
Bart,
On one hand, it seems encouraging that Bush
is losing support from all over.
But on the other hand, I fear that another
"terrorist" attack is in the works.
Last time Bush lost all support and his
popularity rating had fallen to 50%
was just about 9/10/2001.
Bush wants war, Pentagon urges caution
Excerpt:
Senior Pentagon officials are quietly urging
Bush to slow down his headlong rush to war
with Iraq, complaining the administration’s
course of action represents too much of a shift
of America’s longstanding “no first strike”
policy and that the move could well result in
conflicts with other Arab nations.
“We have a dangerous role reversal here,” one
Pentagon source tells Capitol Hill Blue.
“The civilians are urging war and the uniformed
officers are urging caution.”
Kill
the Iraqis! Kill Saddam!
Kill
him right now! Kill them all!
Saddam's
calling my bluff!
For
that he must die.
I
wanna kill!
I
want that oil!
I
always get what I want!
I
wanna kill! That oil is mine!
Quotes
"I think we are where we are because this president
cannot handle complexity."
--Arianna
Huffington, speaking at the Annenberg Center
ha ha
The fake president can't handle the complexity of chewing pretzels.
Is Bartcop Radio worth $5
a month?
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later
Quotes
"A new government report says the gap between
the rich and poor has grown.
President Bush said, 'See my policies
do
work.' ”
--Conan
Visit the all-new 
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Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley
