Wholesaler of the Republican red-ass
(Ask about getting a franchise in your area)


Stolen Votes
Hagel Cheats

Bill of Rights Dead
Myth of the Lib Media
Bart vs Fred Barnes
 BartCop Store

Dare's Disinfo

The Forum
The Reader

Your Ad Here
Contact us


toon from whitehouse.org
Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
 PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466.Tulsa, OK 74155


Back Issues
Bart Cook
BartCop Sports
BC Entertainment
Daily Howler
Arianna Huffington
Demo U-Ground
Eric Alterman

Gene Lyons

Joe Conason

Greg Palast
J M Marshall
Mike Malloy
Molly Ivins
Project 60
Smirking Chimp
Vegas Report

Volume 1057 - Baghdad Hookers

Please visit our sponsors.

 Thursday   May 1, 2003                       


"American prayed that war wouldn't be necessary,
  and now they pray that the peace will be just."
      -- the Corrupt Commander in Chief 

 The second line might be true, but not the first. A slight majority of American were salivating
 for this war because YOU said Saddam was minutes away from gassing New York, you lying,
 blood-thirsty, warmongering, greedy SOB.

 YOU promised us the Saddam had WMD for a fact, and had to be taken out immediately.
 Your exact words were "Fuck Saddam, we're taking him out," and then you gave your trademark little smirk.

 YOU traded the lives of 137 brave Americans for personal family wealth.
 YOU should be put in prison for the lives you threw away and the crimes you commit every day.


 Never had a job, never earned anything, never worked a day his entire life.

 Attack Injures 7 U.S. Soldiers in Fallujah 
  How many years will we be reading headlines like this?

  Click  Here

 Attackers lobbed two grenades into a U.S. Army compound Thursday, wounding seven soldiers
 just hours after the Americans had fired on Iraqi protesters in the street outside, and just hours prior
 to the Unelected Chimp declaring that major combat in Iraq is finished

 This will never end.
 The never-elected Moron wanted that oil so much, he was willing to accept another Lebanon.
 The GOP and their right-wing press spend so much time talking about Somalia, where we lost 18,
 so nobody remembers the 240 Marines who died in Lebanon because the GOP thought it would be
 wise to occupy a country full of suicide bombers.

"Sacrifices have to be made - my family has a right to control Earth'e resources!"

One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
    --Ambrose Bierce,

Visit  The Devil's Dictionary   (2003 SXSW Finalist, Weird/Extreme Category)


"Does America still want to hear the Dixie Chicks chirping
  after the pecking they gave the president?"
     -- CNN promo, ready to cover the GOP-staged riot at tonight's Dixie Chicks opening concert.

 The whoring never stops.   
 CNN is doing all they can to cause a riot tonight at their first concert tonight in Carolina.
 Koresh knows what the dirty, stinking whores at FOX are doing.

 I expect Clear Channel to urge a public lynching, because they only have 1200+  radio stations and
 they need to impress Mikey Powell so they can make their fascist, Republican asses even richer.

 Even if only ten people protest, tomorrow's headlines will scream.
"America rejects Chicks - careers doomed."

 How can we live in a country of Republican whores?
 It gets harder every day.

 revoke.com  threatens  liberalslant.com  with lawsuit
   Jackson Thoreau wrote a column, weenies cry "slander!"

  Click  Here

 I expect this to be removed from your website immediately, or you will be hearing from our attorney.
 We have never, and would never, advocate the murder of a child due to someone's political beliefs.
 This is in fact libelous, and you should know better than to publish crap like this. Jackson used the
 phrase 'hateful, venomous propaganda.' This repugnant article is nothing but hateful, venomous propaganda.
 If Jackson Thoreau really wanted to be a journalist, he could have contacted me personally and
 asked me who we are and what we stand for.

 ha ha

 They should sue Ol' Bart for damaging their "reputation" by exposing them as gutless cowards.


"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention
  in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
        -Mitch Ratliffe

 Right Wing Loves Rev. Al Sharpton
     by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 As a newly declared candidate for the Democratic Presidential nomination, Mr. Sharpton
 has garnered the chortling support of almost every conservative pundit in the nation. They’re
 suddenly as eager to see Mr. Sharpton on television as the reverend himself. Republicans who
 once condemned him as a blight upon America, and wished to see him banished from the airwaves,
 are now hoping that he will never disappear—at least not until sometime after Election Day 2004.

 GOP fund-raiser a child pornographer

  Click  Here

 A prominent Republican fund-raiser who called Bill Clinton "a lawbreaker and a terrible
 example to our nation's young people" has pleaded guilty to production of child pornography.

 Richard Delgaudio admitted taking lewd photographs of a 16-year-old girl.
 In some of the photos, he was engaged in sex with her, court records show.

 It's always the same story.
 Every one of the Clinton accusers has a naked little boy tied to a bed face-down
 or they are philandering woman-beaters like John Fund, ...and if that's not true,
 why doesn't John Fund sue me for saying it?

 I can't sue because it's true.
 Bart's right - I'm a guilty, worthless scumbag.

 CNN reports a DOZEN Dixie Chick tickets from the first concert in Greenvill, Carolina
 were traded in for some "help the soldiers" concert, no doubt organized by Clear Channel.

 Remember what I said a few days ago?

 Clear Channel can ban their records and organize protests and hire thugs to burn Dixie Chicks CDs
 in front of the Bush good-puppy-media cameras, but the only REAL test is if the public chooses to vote
 against the Dixie Chgicks by staying home from a concert they've already paid for.

 It seems as tho the "outrage" Clear Channel has manufactured to assassinate the character of anyone
 who believes in free speech is about as sincere as America's "support" for murdering Baghdad.
 Screw the Clear Channel fascists.
 Screw the FOX Whore fascists.
 And screw the once-free, good-puppy press for selling out and joining the B.F.E.E. payroll.


 Their motto: Protect and prop up the man who wasn't elected.
               Screw the truth, and print what Mr Rove tells us to print.

Hebrew/Bar-Bat Mitzvah tutor available in Washington, D.C. area
for private or small group classes. Reasonable rates!!
Contact Yuval at (202)  271-2816 or  yuvalpinto@hotmail.com

Please visit our sponsors


 Here's $15 for The Hammer.
 Sorry I've been so stingy lately.
 Bartcop keeps hope alive -- who can put a price on that?
 Many thanks,

 Tory, that was nice - thanks.

 Chanting the Party Line
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Conservative culture warriors conduct political debate like a corporate ad campaign.
 They're always on-message: same targets, same smarmy techniques. It's political journalism,
 Enron style. (They're also better paid. Democrats, alas, have no wacky tycoons to match
 Rev. Moon, Rupert Murdoch and Richard Mellon-Scaife.)

      Especially during wartime, political propaganda descends to the pro-wrestling level.
 They didn't think so under Bill Clinton, but because our glorious leader symbolizes the nation,
 questioning President Junior's sublime wisdom has become ipso facto anti-American.
 Like the sheep in Orwell's Animal Farm, true believers make up the majority of every
 strongman's chanting mob--from Julius Caesar to Saddam Hussein

 Strategic Bluffery
   by Subversive Mike

  Click  Here

 I wonder what kind of poker player President Knucklehead is. President Bush looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes,
 saw deep into his soul and found a man he could trust. I wonder what Vladimir saw. President Bush thinks he has wisdom.
 He looks into the camera with the earnestness of a loyal dog. He declares war and tax cuts and prescription drug benefits
 with the heavy responsibility of learned wisdom dripping from his voice.

 But something tells me that he is bluffing. There is no 'there' there. He huffs and he puffs and he has a huge bankroll
 that allows him to huff and puff even more. But, I think he's holding a pair of deuces.


"Bush is a moron, he doesn't understand the economy, he has no
  relation to California and he's going down in November 2004."
      --Bob Mulholland, spokesman for California Democratics, just telling the truth

 The Vidiot has a few things on her mind

  Click  Here

Please visit our sponsors.

 Hi, Bart,
 Have you noticed that the Bush administration is threatening Canada now. The Canadian government
 is planning to reduce the penalties for possession of marijuana, and your drug czar has said that if it does
 Canada will be guilty of chemical warfare against the U. S. and will be treated accordingly.

 They're printing the decks of cards now.
 Less than a month after your ambassador told us you guys would always be there for us.
 Diplomacy at its finest.
 John FitzGerald

  Commentary by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 The US is withdrawing all of its combat units from Saudi Arabia so that they are in less danger
 of being hit by friendly fire should Bush decide to add the world's largest oil reserve to his collection.

 I guess we shouldn't be surprised that an American military, brimming with national guardsmen,
 would have a predilection for firing into crowds.

 In an attempt to make amends for the incident in which American soldiers killed at least 15 Iraqis and
 wounded another 65, the US is considering funding a university in Falluja, where the massacre took place.
 The proposed name? Qent State.

 Free Radio Ads

 If you ever bought an ad on  bartcop.com  even if it was just once, many years ago,
 we would like to reward you with some free, 30-second radio commercials.

 If you have the ability to create MP3s, send your finished commercial to  bartcop@bartcop.com.
 If you can't create MP3s, and would like to take advantage of this offer, our in-house voice man
 will create your free ad if you send your text to  wiseguyusa@yahoo.com
 If you have paid in advance for your radio commercial, it's not too early to send your finished
 commercial to bartcop@bartcop.com   If you'd like our voice man to create one for you,
 he will do this for free until the first webcast happens, which will be soon. After that, he will
 produce a real-sounding ad for a nominal fee.

 You are free to say most anything in your commercial, but if you want him or Ol' Bart to voice your ad,
 remember we can only speak facts.  Unless your product is South's Finest Chocolate,
 Bixby corn or Chinaco Anejo, we can't say "This is the best product ever."
 It has to be true if we're going to say it.

 After all, I'm not Paul Harvey, I'm not Laura the Screech and I'm not the vulgar Pigboy.
 My integrity is not for sale.

 If you paid for some ads that have yet to run their full amount, I'm not trying to cheat you.
 Send a friendly reminder to the business address,  bc_biz@yahoo.com  with your URL
 and banner and the number of ads that still  need to run and I'll fix you up.  I need a staff.

 NBC corporate Assassins smack Banfield
   ...but there IS a solution

  Click  Here
 By now, we all know that the ONLY way that Republicans win elections (getting millions of
 Americans to vote against their own best interest) is through (a. the incompetence and servility
 of democrats, and, b. -) the mastery of Marketing and PR.

 Since the days of Reagan, repub. operatives have known that you could SLASH housing for
 disabled seniors, if you get prime news-time showing you cutting the ribbon to the opening of
 one of the remaining such facilities.   [from a Bill Moyers media-in-politiccs video series from
 the '80s, featuring an interview with Leslie Stahl in this example.]

 Greetings Fellow Tulsan

 This is a quick note to go with my paypal contribution of $30.

 Giving up any money at all ever for me is ... a challenge ... but in the end, the fact was,
 your website was worth it. I discovered you in Jan of 01, and have religiously (ahem)
 read you ever since.

 The amount of effort you (and the rest of the DNC team) put into your site is astounding,
 and has certainly given me more info (and anger) than any local paper. So if I can spend
 $1.50 a week on that, I can help you too. I may be stingy, but I try to be fair.

 So here is a six month advance on the lowest $5 level of your telethon plan.
 I'll be watching for my umbrella and tote bag in the mail.
 And good luck growing the hammer higher.

 M Sharp

 M, you got in at a good time.
 I fear we will soon have to raise the lowest level to $6.50, as the streaming company
 is insisting on $1.50 from each subscriber, and PayPal needs their 10% out of what's left.

 Of course, anyone in before the increase will have full priviledges.
  New:  PayPal now accepts credit cards

 Some people have tried to contribute/subscribe with credit cards.
 So I went to the bank a while back and asked for those forms.
 They gave me a 60-page pile of legal papers to fill out - and who has the time?
 Besides, they asked what kind of business I had, so I told them I had a dot.com.

 They asked what I sold and (at the time), and I'm always honest (cough) so I said "Nothing."
 They asked if I made a profit and I said, "Not yet," so they gave me non-profit papers to fill out.

 It all went nowhere, and I had to tell the people who wanted to subscribe/contribute by CC
 that I was unable to accept their money for now. (I really need a business manager) but perhaps
 this revelation from PayPal changes things.  Koresh, I hope so, because doing the paperwork
 for the dozens of $5 BCR subscribers has become an ongoing nightmare.


 We need your 30-second MP3s for "bumper music."
 E-mail them to bartcop@bartcop.com   so we can hear them on 

 VCR Alert

 It's been a bad TV week for vice presidents.

 On West Wing, VP Otter was caught having an affair with a Latrishia Baldridge-type, (shudder)
 and he gave away national security secrets so he resigned when he got caught. I think it would've
 been more real to have him fall off the wagon and spill the secrets while drunk, but maybe Sorkin
 didn't want to bring up the whole relapse thing to give a boost to those still struggling.

 ...and NBC's promo department, after lying to us twice, now swears Zoey will be kidnapped next week.

 So now we need to talk about 24

 Jack is a Democrat, fighting to PREVENT an illegal B.F.E.E. takeover of the Middle East.
 The producers of 24 didn't see it coming, so their story in is the can and it's not their fault if the B.F.E.E.
 is acting just like the  evil / CIA/ renagade / oil company / bastards who have stolen America's Social
 Security lock box to finance their illegal takeover of the whole f-ing world.

 Keifer knows what's going on.  Considering the time lag, he might be ahead of the curve
 Check out the nice  bartcop.com  mention on Wednesday's 24.

 Click  Here

 Thanks, Keifer

 Rummy's North Korea Connection
 How did Rimmy help ABB's deal to build nuclear reactors there?
 And how can they still say "It's Clinton's fault?" (Because the press helps them)

  Click  Here

 Engineering giant ABB, which signed the contract in early 2000, well before Rumsfeld gave up his board seat
 and joined the Bush administration. Rumsfeld, the only American director on the ABB board from 1990 to
 early 2001, has never acknowledged that he knew the company was competing for the nuclear contract.
 Nor could FORTUNE find any public reference to what he thought about the project. In response to
 questions about his role in the reactor deal, the Defense Secretary's spokeswoman Victoria Clarke told
 Newsweek in February that "there was no vote on this" and that her boss "does not recall it being brought
 before the board at any time."

 Well, if Rummy says he didn't give nukes to the North Korean Axis of Evil, then the press should stop
 pestering him because Rummy's our War Minister - hand-picked by God's hand-picked man which is
 GW Never-Elected. This CANNOT be legal, crucifying a hero like Rummy just because he gave nukes
 to the enemy. Hell, it's a long-held GOP tradition, from Prescott Bush arming Hitler to Poppy Bush arming
 Hezzbollah and Islamic Jihad to Poppy arming Saddam, Noriega and bin Laden. Hell,
 President Weak & Stupid sent $42 to the Taliban the year they attacked us - so the press should back off.

"Bart is right - this is an illegal inquiry and must be stopped right away.
  Besides, I saw Clinton with a blonde last night - I don't know why the press can't do
 their jobs and cover the real news ...like our man Tim Russert at NBC News"


 Sex offender unmasked by my good friends at thesmokinggun.com

 Click  Here

Marty's E! page
 Janeane Garofalo is co-hosting this am on 'The View'
Tonight's speechifying will blow the sweeps scheduling to hell
Lisa Marie Presley is on Leno

Are you liberal or conservative - a quiz
Pavarotti has some cool friends
Bill Clinton in Mexico
'Jerry Springer - The Opera' doing big box office in London
Jane Goodall honored by Harvard
Mr. T suing Best Buy
Metallica at San Quentin
(They were using Napster)
Twisted Sister & the USO
Jeff Conaway, Mandalay Bay & a lawsuit
Jean-Claude Van Damme in 'Swan Lake'
Alabama's obscenity law is illegal
The White House Correspondents Dinner, with a link for more.



"Every time the president's come to California he's gone to parts of the state that might not
  have voted for him, because he's come as president of all the people. I think it's a tribute to
  the fact that this president cares about all Californians and particularly cares about Californians
  who have lost their job or have not been able to obtain a job."
     --Gerry Parsky, Bush's top California adviser, who failed to mention that Bush gave Kennyboy the green ligh
        to rape Califonris to the tune of $500 million per day.

 If we had a free press in America, they would call Bush on shit like this - but we don't.

 This is an observation,  not a complaint.

 April was a dismal fund-raising month for  bartcop.com
 Some days, I picture myself back at the car lot, listening to Vic the Racist screaming,
"Niggers are too stupid and lazy to hold jobs," and I'm not sure I could go back there.

 Oh, don't get me wrong, we gained some subscribers, but we lost some, too.
 You see, I have a combative nature  (I used a word nobody else used to cloak their identity).
 It's not my intention to burn a lot of bridges, but sometimes things need to be said and Koresh
 knows Christian earns her paycheck every month - which is zero - advising me to "Let is go."
 (Those cowards at revoketheoscar.com should send Christian a gift basket.)
 I realize I'm in a LOT better position than some people - after all, I have electricity.
 I also have cable TV, I have heat, and no creditors have called so far this week.

 I have 25 years in the credit/collection business and a very smart mouth. You don't want to call me
 on your first day on the job and try to badger some money out of me with the boss standing next to
 your desk - trust me.  If it's a clear-cut case of you or me, you're going like it was a Tarantino movie.
 They always give the newbies the every-day collection calls to see who has the stomach and who doesn't,
 and I hate to brag, but there's no kid in America that wants a piece of me his first day on the job.
 But our unseen angel is still matching all new subscriptions, and if you're considering signing uip
 for the sure-to-be-worth-it , we'd appreciate hearing from you.

 Is  worth $10 a month?

  I guess it depends on how much you want to hear Smirk getting what's coming to him.

  Click  Here   to have your first subscription amount matched by our silent angel.


 Reminder:  Once we start streaming, the download will take only seconds.

 Call  918-493-1500 - you have two minutes to rant away.

 Did anything make you mad today?

 Tell us about it!     918-493-1500

 Get in for the half-funny rate of only $5 a month.

 All you need is Winamp Available for free Here  and speakers.

Remember to call the

Shopping online?
Use this portal and they'll throw  bartcop.com  four cents.

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

Coming soon!........................
                                    Conason        ....      MCMiller            McDougal        Conason/Lyons       Huffington      ....      Palast                  Lyons

Note - Greg Palast's paperback has new material. Buy the paperback, not the hardback. Hell, it's cheaper, too.

   Click..to..order                               Click..to..order

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com


 Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!" on the Bart-Phone at 918-483-1500
 That would be cool.

Privacy Policy
. .