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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster
Give us your white...
Quote of the Day
"We've got us a Democratic general!
"Shortly before Dick Cheney accepted the VP
from Bush he flew to Wyoming to register to vote. As far as
I can tell, this was his sole act to establish residency.
-- The Outrider Attribution
Loses 90 Percent of Beef Exports
This is what less government means to America
Just days after discovering the nation's first case of mad cow disease,
the United States has lost nearly all of its beef exports as more than a dozen
countries stopped buying American beef as insurance against potential infection.
Gregg Doud, an economist for the Beef Association
at today's market level, the US stands
to lose at least $6 billion a year in exports and falling domestic prices because of the sick cow.
"We've lost roughly 90 percent of our export market just in the last three days," Doud said. .
...and Bush is on vacation - again.
I saw our old friend Ben Stein (R-bastard) on FOX Whore news Friday
saying this was,
"No big deal," and that it was "just a tiny fraction" of the bigger economic picture.
What no rich Republican could ever understand is when people are
afraid to eat beef,
McDonald's goes out of business, along with Burger King, Wendy's, Arbys and all the rest.
That's hundreds of thousands of minimum wage jobs lost
- maybe even millions of jobs.
The job-killing president can't afford to lose a million more jobs.
This is another bungle in a long line of horrific bungles by the never-elected crook.
...but with the media solidly behind him, he'll blame Clinton - again - and skate responsibility.
False alarm or B.F.E.E. handjob?
French investigators questioned seven men pointed out by U.S. intelligence
but found no evidence they planned to use a Los Angeles-bound jet to launch
terror attacks against the United States, French authorities said Thursday.
Maybe Bush just wanted to scare American voters when extended families were together.
...but that couldn't be, because evil men would never stoop
that low - scaring innocent people
just so they could retain total and absolute power over the entire planet by the use of force.
The B.F.E.E is wildly speculating that the terrorists might
want to crash a plane into the Las Vegas Strip.
Surely, this is an attempt by Karl Rove to disrupt the big
(We'll be downtown during the big tournament.)
We're not afraid of you, Karl Rove.
We're not like the elected Democrats - you can't scare us.
We're not falling for your cheap-ass scare tactics, Mr Rove..
This Pokerfest is moving forward.
rules for 2004 political reporting
by Paul Krugman, one of ther non-whores at the NYW Times
• Don't talk about clothes.
• Actually look at the candidates' policy proposals.
• Beware of personal anecdotes.
• Look at the candidates' records.
• Don't fall for political histrionics.
• It's not about the reporters.
I'm a cheap S.O.B. who isn't particularly
interested in your radio show.............yet, anyhow.
Even so, I just subscribed.
Since I discovered bartcop.com a year or
so ago, it's been the first site I check after reading my mail.
Volume 1226 pushed me over the edge. I hate recurring payments, but damn it, I need my regular fix.
And by the way, thanks for sharing the Sabutai eulegy with us latecomers.
It made me laugh out loud - sober.
Now you make me wonder about all the other stuff you write about being accurate.
Why dont you just leave Tiger alone?
He is by far the best player to ever live.
Look it up, at his age nobody has ever been better.
Its a FACT!!!!
So why doesn't the ball fall in the cup when he putts it?
Chickenhawk of the Day
Visit www.chickenhawkcards.com for your deck.
From JonBenet's Clothes Given to FBI
Boulder cops decide to investigate child's murder
Friday was the seventh anniversary of her murder.
There are times when I wonder if there aren't more unsolved
murders than solved.
We see telesvision shows like C.S.I. where a hair or a fiber points to the killer,
but apparently that only happens on TV because most cops can't catch the f-ing flu.
If Jack Ruby was still alive, they probably would've invited him in, too.
The Boulder cops had everybody east of Denver trampling thru the
and this was after the OJ circus, yet the Boulder cops didn't learn anything from that case?
Looking back, why did the family flat-out refuse to talk to the
If the family was innocent ( my money's on the brother ) why did they refuse to help the cops?
The way I remember it, they hired lawyers and waited 5-6 months
before they agreed to talk.
Can anyone name a circumstance where an innocent family would refuse to help the cops?
A&E has an all day 'Murder She Wrote' marathon
Bravo has an all day & most of the night marathon of 'West Wing'
Comedy Central has a 'Saturday Night Live' marathon all day
SciFi has an all day marathon of 'Tremors: The Series'
Travel has an all day & all night marathon of 'World Poker Tour'
Another special bonus from 'Disinfotainment Today' & Michael Dare
The Museum of TV & Radio showcases the history of pop music
Celebrities who refused British honors
New sign for 'Cold Mountain'
And some links
Family has 14 year old sent to federal pen for petty crime
saw it on http://ht4e.blogspot.com/
It was supposed to be simple, breaking into a small boatyard near here and stealing a marine radio to monitor police frequencies.
But when the two intruders, Patrick V., 14, and his accomplice, Christopher Conley, 19, spotted what they thought were video
surveillance cameras, they panicked and set fire to the building, burning it down along with several boats and engines. Unknown
to them, one of the boat engines belonged to former President George Bush, whose summer house is seven miles away.
[Keep this fact in mind while you read the rest of the story. Bush's house is SEVEN miles away and that this is really just about a boat engine]
Within days of the July 2002 fire, Secret
Service and other federal agents were at Patrick's house here. His mother,
said they told her that the young men had "blown up the president's boat" in what might have been "a terrorist act."
[An attempt to scare the shit out the family]
One federal firearms agent told her, Ms.
Collier recalled, that the incident had raised "national security concerns."
[Another bit of bullshit designed to terrorize the family]
Note from Bart:
This is why people are scared of Bush, Karl Rove and the B.F.E.E.
If you "cross" a Bush, they just might make you or your mother do hard time.
They know people who disappear people like your smart ass every day - that's their job!
On the other hand, if you agree to play ball and accept their
you'll be rich and your problems are over ...and who cares how many soldiers die?
Recovery? What recovery?
New orders for long-lasting U.S. manufactured goods plunged unexpectedly in November,
falling at the steepest rate in more than a year across a broad spectrum of categories,
a government report said on Wednesday. It was the biggest monthly orders decline since
a 6 percent tumble in September 2002 and followed a revised 4 percent increase in October orders.
When Bush went
"all in" on his bloody and phoney Iraq war with a losing hand,
he also cried wolf to the entire world when it comes to weapons of mass destruction.
What's he going to do when some rouge country
and it's really important that America take military action to prevent a catastrophe?
Nobody's going to believe him because he lied to them before.
Remember what Mark Geragos said about California
If a witness had been proven to be a liar, you can disregard every other thing the liar says.
This is how the whole world (minus Tony Blair and that guy from Spain) looks at Bush.
He is a proven liar who has killed thousands of innocent people just to steal Iraq's oil.
And just to be sure we get the same picture
that thr rest of the world is getting,
what if Saddam invaded the United States for no reason, then cornered and killed the Bush boys,
and them beamed pictures of their mutilated bodies around the globe?
What if the Iraqi army then hunted down
Poppy Bush and then drugged him and then had an Iraqi doctor
check his head for lice and beamed those pictures around the globe to show what a big man he was?
How would fair-minded people around the globe look at Saddam, the murdering invader?
They'd look at him the same way the whole
world is looking at Bush right now.
"But I got that oil, didn't I?"
Iraqi forces kill six Americans, injure more
Rebels unleashed a coordinated assault on military bases and the governor's office in Karbala
on Saturday, killing 13 people - including six US soldiers - and wounding 172 people.
Subject: ...because he lies to them
Bart, you wrote:
> Never mind that Clinton never sent a man into
battle who didn't come home,
> these brave men and women are ready to die so Bush can steal Iraq's oil.
> They'd rather die for Bush than live another 60 years under Clinton.
> How old will I have to be before I understand
Bart, they love Bush just because he lies
to them .
People love lies and love liars.
Hasn't 50 years on the planet taught you that?
I am a slooooow learner, trust me
Dang, an evening of TV could, and how else
can Bush be explained?
Bush lies to them and they love it.
Because who wants to be just a nobody from
when they can pretend, with W dumb ass, they are super heroes & warrior kings?
Of course the serviceman and women ARE heroes....but I don't believe they think so.
Annie I think I smell what you might be cookin'.
Maybe you're saying the same type personality who's willing to charge the machine gun
might be a guy who doesn't always use logic as his primary focus of decision-making.
If I thought there was really a God, and he'd welcome me to Heaven
with Skippy, Tweety and Uncle Lou,
I might've charged some machine guns my own damn self - given the proper motivation.
But I don't, so I didn't.
So how far off is that from the mark?
A very religious family is more likely to sacrifice a son and
be happy about it,
knowing he's in a better place and the very evil George W. Bush got his oil, too?
Subject: Earthquakes in California and Japan
Aren't you glad the evil commie big-government
regulators didn't get out of the way of the victimized
over-burdened building industry who should have been entitled to make an honest extra buck by
skimping on standards so that last week's 6.5 magnitude earthquake in California could have killed
as many people as this week's 6.5 magnitude earthquake in Iran?
Magnus, good point.
I think the best example of that is the Titanic.
The liberals, always interferin g, wants a lifeboat for every
The GOP screams, "Do you know how many jobs that would cost?
Do you know many shipbuilders can't afford to have that many life boats?"
The liberals - always trying to get in the way of the capitalism stampede.
Much of the cost of Bush's latest war was to be tacked on in addition to the already obscene $400 billion
Pentagon budget. Nevertheless, during one of the Fatherland Security briefings, we were advised to go out
and buy duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect our homes. Four-hundred-billion-dollars-plus per year for
alleged defense plus the cost of a gargantuan homeland-security apparatus, and we were supposed to run
down to True Value to buy duct tape to ensure our safety? Unfortunately, a very effective countermeasure
to duct tape and plastic sheeting is a box cutter, bringing us back to square one via a quite expensive route.
Great Christmas Gifts
Bart & Sam,
Vice President Oily Slick is ILLEGAL.
This is an article I wrote about just that subject.
It appeared on the excellent Bush
Brothers Banana Republic website on Jan 3, 2001,
just before Congress ratified the electoral votes ILLEGALLY. You can follow the link
at the bottom of the first page to get to the next page. Unfortunately, the link to the Cheney's
tax record doesn't work anymore, but at the time he was claiming his Dallas home as his
legal homestead. It was right there in black and white.
Anyhoo, the Monkey in a Man Suit and Mr.
Oily Slick are so fucking illegal,
it just makes me SICK. Think how I've felt knowing about this ever since the 2000 election.
The last three (professionally mixed) BartCop Radio Shows on CD for just $25.
If you PayPal, mention your address, OK?
Subject: Radio Show 23
Two quick things:
Don't look now, but I think you've gotten
the radio show to be almost as entertaining as your webpage.
Episode 23 was excellent and my only complaint was that it wasn't longer. (It was 50 minutes, no commercials.)
Also, be prepared to catch hell from the
Deaniacs for telling the truth about how Howard's going to get
steamrolled by Bush. I've never seen such blind allegiance in my life and it seems that Dean supporter's
top priority is making him the nominee, not sending Smirk back to Texas.
Sadly, I think we are doomed for four more
years of the BFEE.
Mike, thanks for saying nice things.
If I could get the radio equipment to work all the time,
if I could do regular shows and with practice, even I will get better.
Swear to Koresh, I'm not cherry-picking the mail and printing only the good reviews.
I've only read the two I've printed. I'm always surprised by the lack of radio feedback
because I got over 100 e-mails saying Lennon didn't write Steppenwolf's Monster.
I want to say again I like Dean, but yes, Bush will Willie
Horton him with gay marriage and
scare everybody who thinks gays are the enemy. The B.F.E.E. fights dirty - even for politics
Let's hope we're wrong about Bush steamrolling Dean.
How long until Christmas?
I had planned to do a Christmas issue, with some nice Christmas pictures,
but Christmas just shot past me like a purse snatcher.
It seems like it ought to be December 15th or so, but damn, Christmas
is already gone.
I planned to call some pillars and have a bunch of short conversations,
but the evil Tempus Fugit must be on the B.F.E.E. payroll, too.
I need Nancy Grace to come live with us so every minuite will seem like an eternity.
of Arcadia episode
You can skip this, it's about some TV show
Seriously, that thrashing and the scene that followed were TV's best moments since Tony fought Ralphie.
That's high f-ing praise.
If you have something important send it to Sam at firstname.lastname@example.org
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Click to Enter
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my
mother took me to
see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph."
Not sure if it will new news worthy or worthy
of your time,
but Michael Jackson is talking to Ed Bradley Sunday on 60 Minutes.
Mark Geragos must be very confident.
"Rush is claiming that his maid blackmailed
Yeah, and Strom Thurmond's maid tricked him into getting her pregnant.
When are these rich white men going to stop falling prey to these tricky maids!"
--Jay Leno, Attribution
Reminder: We have an illegal administration in the White House.
"We are show prep for the rest of the media."
-- the vulgar Pigboy in a rare accident with the truth
He's telling the truth, but he's been running the media since
Rush, Drudge and Karl Rove have held press freedom hostage for about 2000 days.
Hypocritical In Telling Media To Check Facts
by Helen Thomas
"Look who's talking. Vice President Dick Cheney is accusing the press of "cheap shot journalism" in
covering the Bush administration, claiming "people don't check the facts."..While he's lecturing about
accuracy, Cheney should do some fact-checking of his own statements about Iraq's WMDs.
The vice president's prewar chant about such weapons helped lead the nation into war. Now, despite
an intense hunt for that arsenal since the U.S. military took over Iraq last spring, the vice president is
having difficulty accepting the reality that those weapons were a fantasy of the administration's prowar
hawks...when it comes to Cheney's advice to the media, the vice president would be well advised to
follow his own recommendations. We check our facts, Mr. Vice President. You should, too."
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
Plus, at least
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
Lying bastard O'Reilly
Christmas at 7 Central, not much on, and I was taping FOX to get
some ammo for Show
I'm going to do a beatdown on FOX, O'Reilly or both, ...not sure who'll get the big heel yet.
O'Reilly says "Stay tuned, we're going
to countdown the most vocal web sites that hate Bush."
My ears grew to the size of Ross Perot's.
Y'know, when they talk about the intelligent websites,
When they talk about the "water cooler" sites, they talk about Salon and MWO.
So this time, when they say they're going to list the most
vocal Bush critics,
I figure this is my shot, this is my biggest mention since that time on The Oxycotin Show.
But no, as far as I could tell, he never once mentioned any websites
He did say a bunch of ridiculous horseshit for which I plan to make him pay.
O'Reilly, you have another beatdown coming.
I got a crazy Christmas package in the mail from a subscriber.
No, it wasn't that.
It was a box full of wacky toys and stuff.
Probably my favorite is a metal, wind-up toy called "Nunzilla."
It's an angry-as-hell nun with a ruler in her hand who walks like Godzilla.
Plus, sparks come out her mouth, just like a real nun.
There was also a GW Bush blow-up doll - the monkey in his flight suit.
He had a pinnochio nose and a sign taped to his back that said, "Impeach me."
Can you see Nunzilla in Flyboy's left hand?
But that was just the beginning.
There was a lifelike monkey skull, that I'm sure holds more information that Bush.
There were 3 CDs of music by, among others, Karminsky Experience, Overseer and the Chemical Brothers.
Then there was a Last Supper lunch box - never saw one of those before.
Inside the lunchbox were more goodies, including Cheeky Chimp
air freshener packets,
and two Black Cat Safety Match tins that are just the right size for something, and a statue
of St Clare, the patron saint of television. I needed that :) It glows in the dark, too.
Also in the box was a Smoking Monkey Notebook that I'll
Plus (and we're getting close to the end) a bunch of small stickers that said "Buck Fush,"
"Re-defeat Bush in 2004" and the always popular "Bush is a fascist," and finally,
a Binions Horseshoe shopping bag with "Welcome to Las Vegas" iron on patches.
That was the most stuff I've gotten on Christmas since I was a
I could write more, but I want to play with my "Nunzilla" for a while.
Thanks for that, Anonymous Dude.
Click to Visit
Veterans Letter to the President:
On November 11, 2003, 750 veterans sent the following letter to Bush.
Subject: Get over the Clinton thing
The 'Big Dog' has had his day.
He did some good things and he did some bad things.
So do they all... Jeesh!
No one talks badly about Bill now except
for that weirdo Sean Hannity and that only makes him look more
stupid than he already is. It's laughable to hear and only makes Sean appear pitiful and pathetic... So, give it up, will ya?
No one is gonna blame Clinton now (or has,
from what I've heard) for anything.(except Hannity, and we can excuse
Sean's bullshit because we know it's just that)... The Smirkster certain will not say anything bad about Bill because he
knows the truth despite his obvious ignorance of everything else. His 'handlers' (read Condi, Dick and Karl) certainly
won't say a thing about the 'previous administration'... Let's move on, shall we?
Your insistence that they will, or are,
blaming everything on Bill is rather petty, not to mention fatuous.
It just doesn't happen, from what I've seen, heard and read...
P.S. I don't see that contention of yours
on Greg Palast's, Molly Ivin's, Marc Perkel's or anyone else's blogs
may agree with you on the primary issues. You are the only one I've see that trumpets Bill Clinton as if he's a deity
(ironic, I must say for you)...
Ya Like Bill? Great!
But, we've gone beyond him now and I'm sure he'd admit that.
Let's live in today...
Bob, all I can say is we must live if different, yet parallel
The country is falling apart in almost every way imaginable,
and the unelected bastard who caused it all is getting zero percent of the blame.
What world do you live in where they've stopped blaming Clinton?
If not Clinton, who are they blaming for all of America's troubles? Howard Dean?
What channels are you listening to that are blaming someone besides Clinton?
Have you ever watched the Sunday shows?
Clinton caused Bush's recession,
Clinton helped bin laden,
Clinton enabled Saddam.
Clinton armed North Korea,
Clinton caused the Two China disaster,
Clinton invented sex,
Clinton failed in the Middle East,
Granted, they're still trying to figure out how they can blame Clinton for mad cow,
but it's just a matter of time. I'm trying to get ahead of the curve, so when they do blame him,
people who read bartcop.com might laugh and say, "Just as Bart predicted."
I am interested in learning more about your world.
Is the press free in the world where you live?
Do they tell the truth and call a spade a spade?
Was Clinton impeached in your world?
They got him here, the sons of bitches.
Do they impeach presidents for lying America into a war there?
I hope Southwest Airlines flies to your world, I'd like to visit.
I haven't even heard of a world like you speak of since back around the winter of 1991.
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Democrats deserve coal this year -- and give the
opportunistic Joe Lieberman an extra shovel's worth.
Over the Christmas break, all of the Democrats running for president should consider whether
they really believe what each of them has assured voters during these long, dreary months of
campaigning: That removing the radical-right Republican George W. Bush from the White
House is essential to America's future.
Most of them aren't behaving as if that's their true objective.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Study: Brain Rewards Us for Laughing:
They say laughter is the best medicine, and a new study
may help explain how laughter makes us feel good.
Researchers report that humor seems to activate brain
networks that are involved in rewards.
...another reason to have a good time every day.
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Subject: Tiger Woods
Bart - Please explain why you dislike
Your obsession is a complete mystery.
Not if you've been reading for a while.
I know more about golf in my little finger than you ever will.
That could be true, as I know nothing about golf?
Comparing him to Cruise, Spears and Love
> Vijay Singh won four major championships this year, and beat Tiger
in the money,
> but they looooooooooooooove their Tiger Woo , and I'll tell you why:
Please name the four major championships Singh won.
I will admit that it's possible that clumsy writing in USA Today
left the wrong impression,
and of course they don't have the article posted that I'm holding in my hand.
(This is close to it)
What I'm holding in my hand says, "Woods
went without a major for the first time since 1998.
Vijay Singh won four times and beat Woods by $900,000."
To me, that reads "Tiger won zero majors, and Singh won four majors," but maybe it was just
poor writing by a professional writer with less skills than me, which is hard to fathom.
Like I said, golf concerns me less than soccer - I don't follow it unless I see Tiger playing.
Then I watch closely and say "Hex on thee" three times, which makes Tiger miss his put.
If I could get feedback on the radio show like I get it on Tiger and Steppenwolf,
the radio shows would get a lot better a lot faster, assuming my hardware works..
The PGA players voted Woods player of the
year despite the fact he's not all that popular
as he's taken dough out of their pockets over the years.
Tiger's massive PR machine has drawn thousands of kids into the
game of golf.
For that, he's voted "Tour Player of the Year."
Vijay is a classless bum. He's been caught cheating.
He trashed Anika Sorenstam when she was invited to play at the Colonial (he withdrew)
and said "fuck this place" after he won the Masters.
I can't argue with you - I don't know the man.
Why don't you go bass fishing with that great Oklahoma golfer Bruce Shitsky tomorrow.
Why would I want to go bass fishing (of all things) what a man named Shitsky?
That statement was obviously meant to hurt my feeling, but I'm not going to cry.
Dude, if I think Tiger is a no good, worthless blob of hype, that's one man's opinion.
If you say Shirley Manson is ugly and can't sing, what, ...I should challenege you to a knife fight?
Why can't you and I disagree on Tiger without the personal attacks?
Or you could drive down to your sister state Arkansas and have a couple brewskis with John Daley.
Now I'm gonna cry for sure.
Tiger won't be available. He'll be practicing.
Good for Tiger.
Maybe he'll win a major next year.
Use this portal
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.
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