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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster
Show 24 is up
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Pokerfest Update - new location
and then visit our members
We will be delivering
shows on a regular basis.
Governor, let go of that model's breast!
Actual unretouched ad found by Bruce Yurgil
Quote of the Day
"I don't think the troops have any doubt what
But General, what about when we hit 1,000 and 2,000?
Saw it on mediawhoresonline.com
"He seems to be preoccupied, and I'm quoting
now, with building legitimacy, with exhausting
all diplomatic remedies as though we hadn't been through diplomacy for the last decade,
and relegating the use of force to a last resort, to building the broadest possible coalition,
in short a variety of very amorphous, ephemeral concerns.
-- Richard Perle's reaction to Clark's testimony that the FOX whores and radio Nazi's say was pro-war
In a sign of the difficulty Bush faces as he tries to win black support for his reelection, several
hundred protesters loudly booed him on Thursday as he laid a wreath at the grave of Martin Luther King.
"Bush go home" and "peace not war" the predominantly
black crowd of protesters shouted from behind
a barrier of buses, as Bush paid tribute to King on the 75th anniversary of his birth.
Bush wants to improve his standing among
black voters this reelection year, after winning less than
10 percent of the African-American vote in 2000.
Whenever Bush leaves the White House, the
Secret Service the FBI and the local police have to keep
the angry crowds away. (Clinton never had that problem - he was elected by the people.) This time,
the crowds were too big to move so the police moved busses between them and the Illegal Moron.
Poll Shows Iowa a Four-Way Tie
Dean, Kerry, Gephardt and Edwards all tied
Court Won't Block Texas Redistrict Plan
Bush employees earn their paycheck - again!
The Supreme Court refused Friday to block Texas from holding congressional elections
next fall under a hard-fought new map that could cost the Democrats as many as six House seats.
The map was pushed through the Legislature
by the Republicans last year after months of
partisan fighting that included two out-of-state walkouts by the Democrats.
The Democrats had warned the Supreme Court
that millions of Texas minorities would be
deprived of their voting rights if the elections went forward under the new map.
...but that's what this president, this court and the GOP stand for - screwing minorities.
Click Here to save the world
Cries Foul on PETA, MoveOn Super Bowl Ads
Only Bush-is-a-war-hero ads are allowed on TV's biggest day
U.S. football fans will not see ads featuring scantily clad vegetarians or a political attack on Bush
during February's Super Bowl after CBS said on Thursday that advocacy advertisements were
out of bounds on professional football's biggest day.
The network, over the years, has rejected
dozens of advertising proposals by advocacy groups,
who argue that the network only airs controversial messages (pro Bush) that it agrees with.
CBS spokesman Dana McClintock said the policy
had been in place for years. "We have a
policy against accepting advocacy advertising," he added. CBS, a unit of Viacom Inc.,
does run political advertising for and against candidates.
I guarantee CBS will run those non-factual
and outright lying ads about.marijuana, promising the
baby will die in you smoke a joint. They do it every year. Viacom loves this unelected monkey
and will do anything to protect him. They cancelled the Reagan movie when talk radio howled,
and they're afraid to do anything that Rush, Karl Rove or FOX News might not like, meaning
Rupert Murdoch is, in effect, running two of the big networks.
Subject: Begala dissed Clark
Did you just see that?
(I'll bet he means on Crossfire)
Rahm Emanuel says "Reagan was a Democrat before switching to the Republicans."
Begala says "Yes, but that was over the course of 20 years. Clark was 20 minutes."
I hate when we can't get on the same page.
Dave, ...any relation?
A few thoughts...
Begala, I really do, but sometimes he swings farther to the right than
and I don't completely trust anybody who's farther to the right than I am.
I would enjoy a recorded, off-camera battle of wits with Paul, perhaps over cocktails.
The tough questions and harsh
attacks should come now.
If Clark can't answer his critics, maybe he's not the right man for the job.
Let's see how he does in the ring BEFORE we annoint him.
...but I have a feeling that Clark has been studying Bill Clinton and is he's first in his class.
Begala's assertion that one must
wait two decades to say, "This isn't
right and it should stop now!"
is open to, shall we say, a less generous opponent's reminder than Hitler had less than twenty years.
Click and learn
how we can make it easier for you.
Subject: a friend was killed in Iraq...
I sent this message before but go no response.
I think it was because
your computer was down.
First off, I'd just like to say that you
are an inspiration. You speak your mind and
do not let anybody stop you from it. I thought you might be interested in the story
of my friend Lance Corporal Gregory MacDonald, who was killed in Iraq last June.
Greg was an outspoken critic of the war.
In fact, on the day before he was deployed
he did an interview for Democracy Now.
Since his death, WBUR the PRI affiliate in Boston has run to stories on him.
I hope this adds ammunition to your fight to bring down Bush.
Greg would have been proud.
Son Killed in Iraq, Lives in Writing
For thousands of Americans, 2003 will forever be the year they lost a loved one. After the death of
Marine Lance Corporal Gregory MacDonald of Burlington, Massachusetts, his family and friends have
gradually been discovering who he really was through his prolific writings and the many letters he sent home.
Read Letters from Greg MacDonald in Iraq
We're going to have a candidate picked in just six weeks because
on March 2,
we're having primaries in Texas, California, New York, Ohio and Massachusetts.
The O'Reilly Iraq WMD Apology Countdown Clock
I want to gather a cluster of a few friends every week and have them bring buckets of spare change
and whip up some exceptional food and enjoy much laughter and discussion and raunchy jokes and
music and expensive scotch, and stay up too late until the last hand is played out and the last drop of
whiskey is enjoyed and everyone goes home buzzed and askew and tired.
Because it's necessary.
Because discussion and camaraderie and frequent deep laughter are dying arts.
The winning commercial in the Bush in 30 Seconds political ad contest
CHILD'S PAY http://www.bushin30seconds.org
Pretty good ad, but I liked
WHAT ARE WE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN? better (same link)
Marty's Entertainment Page
Bush's disinformation policy threatens the nation
...an outright lie by the President to the American public and press is quite another thing.
Such a tactic, in which the press is used to convey an administration's disinformation to the
citizenry, is a threat to the very foundations upon which this so-called "free" country rests.
Under the Bush Disinformation Doctrine,
it is now impossible for American citizens or the press
to discern when and if President Bush and his White House are telling the truth. The grim reality is
that the Bush administration, for any secret reasons it may devise, has determined that outright lies
are valid tools of communication with the press, citizens at home, and nations abroad.
If the press and the Democrats decide to come to work, I hope
they do it before November.
It would be just like them to wait until December and then write, "What kind of man is Bush?"
I'm also disappointed in these (what's another
word for whores?) who act all shocked when
someone like Paul O'Neill states the obvious - that Bush can't think and doesn't care to learn.,
Everybody knows Bush acts like a retarded
child but then they cover it up by writing about how
solemn his gravitas is, and how he regularly pokes Cheney in the chest with today's marching orders.
Click to visit
Subject: wassup with this macintosh hostiity?
hey bart and sam,
I'm not understanding your hostility towards us macintosh enthusiasts.
You don't seem to have any argument whatsoever
to use against us, but you
regularly unleash unsubstantiated venom in our direction for no apparent reason.
It's strictly defensive in nature. Any time
I mention computer troubles, some Mac user
writes and say, "If you weren't such a f-ing moron, you would've bought a Mac in 1993,"
like I can go back in time and change the past.
You do nothing but complain about your bill
gates purchases, but the minute that
it is pointed out that mac users are finding their choice to be more practical, you go
into some kind of alternative mental denial panic "please go away" mode,
Can't we at least have a constructive discussion about this?
I have just under $10,000 invested in equipment that completes
three radio studios.
You want me to throw that away and replace it with three Mac studios?
It doesn't seem practical.
I'm not telling all Mac users to please go away, just the mean ones.
OKC Visit as reported by Bartcop.com
Found this while deleting old mail
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Subject: Lie-berman is a whore
I've been reading this dust-up about a supposed
Clark "flip flop" on supporting the war in Iraq.
I have read the congressional testimony word-for-word. Clark is correct. He was against the
"pre-emptive" war all along, and wanted to go through the international community and NATO, using war as a last resort.
Lieberman, using the same abysmal tactics
we would expect from the Bush campaign, jumped all over Clark.
He said, (Ed) Gillespie is not alone in questioning Clark. Joe Lieberman said Clark's congressional testimony
showed "it is no longer credible for Wesley Clark to assert that he has always had only one position on the war
- being against it. His own testimony before Congress shows otherwise."
Trouble is, Joe Lie-berman either has not
read the testimony (and thus should shut his fat mouth until he does),
or he is a lying whore. I think it is the latter.
Yeah, today Rush told the same lies that Gillespie and Lie-berman
Now that Clark's numbers are shooting up, everyone has to attack him.
The bunch worried the most are the squatters at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
I also think Clark was smart to avoid Iowa.
What good would a five way tie do him?
If Iowans are only going to vote for pro-ethanol candidates with
whom they've shaken hands,
Clark's New Hampshire/Carolina/Arizona/Oklahoma strategery seems geared for the long haul.
Remember that classic quote from the Monkey in 2000:
"The important question is, how many hands have shaked?"
(saw it on bettybowers.com)
See you soon...
You can see something in the eyes of most all the Democratic candidates: the pugnacity of
Howard Dean, the idealism of Dennis Kucinich, even (surprisingly) the elaborate sense of
humor just under the surface of Joe Lieberman.
Not Wesley Clark. His eyes are blank.
Like a turtle resting on a rock in the middle of a pond,
he simply seems never to move, no matter how long you stare. But then, just as you're about to
pack up your picnic basket and go home, you catch him: His head pops out, and he slides off into the water...
That is so incredibly stupid, I think I like the
sweater tramp more.
He should've started his column with, "I hate Clark and I'll admit it right now."
If you hate Clark, you'll love this article.
Sidebar: If you hate Clark, you'll
They're doing to Clark what some of you claim I'm doing to Dean, which I'm not.
Just one reason...
This isn't the reason I think Clark has the best shot at red-assing the Illegal Monkey, it's just one of many.
It's been almost 4 long years since Bush
stole the election.
Since then we went from the biggest surplus in the history of
the world to the biggest deficit in the history of the world.
Peace and prosperity turned into war and
Liberty and Freedom gave way to Homeland Security
and the government spying on everything we do.
We sent our sons to die in a war in Iraq
that has turned out to be a fraud.
Freedom and Patriotism are merely marketing slogans and America is shunned in the world community.
America used to be a great nation. We can
restore it to the way it used to be.
We can go back to the days where the president is elected by the people and
not appointed by the supreme court. I want all of you to make it a New Year's resolution
to rebuild our nation and make America a nation of the people, by the people, and for the people.
Click to Enter
If you have something important send it to Sam at email@example.com
If you work for Dean or Clark and want help punching up a speech, use that address.
to Congress: Drop f-ing dead
Appoints Pickering Nazi without confirmation
Bush bypassed Congress and installed Charles Pickering on the federal appeals court Friday
in an election-year slap at Democrats who had blocked the nomination for more than two years.
Bush installed Pickering by a recess appointment,
which avoids the confirmation process.
Such appointments are valid until the next Congress takes office, in this case in January 2005.
Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Fair) of Mississippi,
said, "It is quite unfortunate that the president
has chosen to seat Pickering only days before the nation celebrates the life Martin Luther King.
Thompson said that while on the federal
bench in Mississippi, Pickering had sought to "limit minority
voting strength and to stifle the rights of women - counter to everything Dr. King and the civil rights
movement were all about."
Knowing the Democrats, they've already forgiven
Bush and they plan no retaliation because
they're not fighters - they're simpering bean-eaters who want Bush to give them a nickname.
I'll bet the one on the right
could ride a Segway and not fall off.
It's my own damn fault
of the Democratic Party is going all Montecore on bartcop.com
was my mistake and I admit that.
Not only did I break one of Bart's Laws, I was stupid enough to break Bart's Law #1
> Don't EVER tell the truth in a political campaign.
> People want to be lied to.
They don't want to hear that this
next election will be about terrorist fear and military strength.
They don't want to hear that a military man has a better chance than a man the B.F.E.E. (not me)
will paint as a peacenik so eager to appease Osama that he'll likely surrender America to him.
Like I keep saying - that's part of the fear
campaign they're going to run
and talk radio, the networks and BIG print will be their free echo chamber.
Before the defections go too far, before I have to get a job - let's debate!
Somehow, probably in the Forum or the chat room, you Deaniacs
get together and select one or two
people to give the pro-Dean side of this debate and we'll agree this will be the most civil debate ever
because we're all united in our goal to de-monkeyfy the White House and stop Bush's private oil war.
I'm not going to do my usual "You can get thirty friends to
help" routine, but it's certainly fair for
either side to receive private messages saying, "Don't forget about this or that."
I don't expect to change anyone's mind, but maybe a frank discussion
will stop the exodus of
old friends who are now calling me "a Republican who tricked them into sending money."
Maybe I can better reassure people I don't hate Dean!
And we better do this quick, because right now Dean is four-way tied in Iowa...
I'll walk thru the Forum and see who might be a reasonable Deaniac debater.
Subject: the gag rule
Sounds like you and Mrs. Bart had a great
holiday. I went to my sister's in Virginia;
we spent four days pigging out and watching old movies, including the samurai marathon
on TCM on Friday night. We made it through "Seven Samurai" and "Yojimbo" but couldn't
stay up for "Throne of Blood" and "Gate of Hell," also great movies.
This was done as a tie-in for "The Last
Samurai" and the movies were hosted by Edward Zwick
and Tom (Can't Act) Cruise. They showed some clips from "Last Samurai" and one cracked me up
- it's a scene showing Cruise in sword practice with a samurai. One of the guys watching says to a
friend (I'm paraphrasing here), "He's getting better, isn't he?" To which he friend responds,
"Yes, but he's still ugly."
As for his martial arts technique: take
it from an old martial arts fan - he sucks! Looks like the
Japanese extras had to do a lot of work to make him look even halfway decent in the fight scenes.
Ann in Philly
Ann, I wouldn't figure you for a samuarai fan, but it just goes to show ya...
Want to hear something funny?
Sword-swingin' Tom was on the last edition of "Inside the Actors Studio."
Can you believe that?
Maybe he donated a lot :)
USA Today's unscientific poll
Which presidential candidate interests you enough to read a book about him/her?
Wesley Clark 42.55%
Subject: US out of Arabia
The U.S. has pulled ALL their troops out
of Saudi Arabia.
That was the main point Osama was raging about.
Does this make Bush an appeaser, or did the Saudi's make a gentle request?
I'm sure they gave his Daddy a big check.
Surreal Moments Serving a Mythological President
"The weekend after September 11, George Bush's former Treasury secretary, Paul O'Neill, sat in a leather armchair
at Camp David, the presidential retreat, devouring a pile of intelligence documents on al-Qaeda handed out by the
CIA boss, George Tenet. A two-day crisis meeting of Mr Bush's senior advisers had finally wound up. The President
had gone to bed. Across the room, Condoleezza Rice was singing hymns, (what?) accompanied on the piano by the
John Ashcroft. (f-ing what?) Leafing through the CIA documents, Mr O'Neill was astonished to read plans for covert
assassinations around the globe designed to remove opponents of the US Government. The plans had virtually no
civilian checks and balances. "What I was thinking is, 'I hope the President really reads this carefully', O'Neill said.
'It's kind of his job. You can't forfeit this much responsibility to unelected individuals. But I knew he wouldn't.'"
So, we have an idiot president who refuses to do any work, and
a religiously insane attorney general and
a national security advisor who sings hymns after the greatest presidential screw-up in all of history?
The LA Writers Conference is March
19-21 in Los Angeles and features
over 30 workshops in fiction, journalism and the business of writing.
We have best-selling authors, renown editors and literary agents sharing their knowledge.
The event includes a banquet, a party, one-on-one critiques and Pirate
For more information visit www.lawritersconf.org or email firstname.lastname@example.org
The Unelected Monkey used last year's SOTU speech to lie
about Saddam's ability to launch.
We knew he was going to lie, so dozens of people made "He is lying" signs for their TVs.
Make a sign that tells the truth about Bush - take a picture
of that sign
while Bush is lying and send the picture to email@example.com
Winner gets a free year of membership until the next SOTU
Second place gets six months and three people get third place prizes of 90 days.
If you're already a member, we'll think of something...
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
....this issue it's
Damn, that a lot of destroyed families.
Subject: Eddie Izzard
I bought the DVD based on your short review
and thank you.
It is the funniest stand-up I have EVER seen. There were so many times
when my laughter threatened to overwhelm me that all I could do was cry.
By the way Bartman, I have written to you
a couple of times and you have always
written back but I never told you that I used to work at Fox News Channel in NY.
I was so naive that prior to the launch
at a big do at the Hilton, Roger told us that we
were going to be "fair and balanced" and I swear to god, I thought he meant that we
were going to be straight shooters and just report. I had absolutely no clue as to what
he really meant. I mean, I was surprised over the number of people that I worked with
that seemed to have very loud and obnoxious views regarding Clinton, democrats and well,
really just pretty darned judgmental about everyone. And still, I merrily skipped along
happy to do what I enjoyed, research.
Anyway, I thought you might enjoy knowing
that one of your devotees was on the 'inside'
of the 4th Reich. Since I am overtired now I can't seem to remember any good stories
but when I do I'll pass them on, if you don't mind.
Louise, thanks for that.
I look forward to those stories.
Plus, I remember when Tommy insisted we watch this Elglish comedian.
I thought, "Oh God, I just flew him to Tulsa and now I'm trapped into watching this."
But I really needed a radio/sound/computer expert so I
allowed him to put Eddie on and I
found out he's one of the funniest white stand-ups I've seen in the last ten years.
chair claims Clark supported war
...transcripts show otherwise, Lie-berman says transcripts "lying"
Ed Gillespie, (R-Liar) charged Thursday that Wesley Clark endorsed Bush's policy
toward Iraq two weeks before Congress voted to authorize Bush to go to war.
The attack on Clark by the RNC chairman suggests that the GOP is now taking Clark's campaign seriously.
Clark's testimony was further distorted
Thursday by Matt Drudge (R-GOP Tool) who quoted selected portions
of Clark's testimony and added sentences that don't appear in the transcript on his Web site Thursday.
From the transcript: "As far as I
know, I haven't seen any substantial evidence linking Saddam's regime to
network, though such evidence may emerge. I'm saying there hasn't been any substantiation of the linkage of the Iraqi
regime to the events of 9/11 or the fact that they are giving weapons of mass destruction capability to al-Qaida."
FIFA president calls for sexier uniforms for women
FIFA president Sepp Blatter said women should consider wearing more revealing uniforms, such as
skimpier shorts, to bring more attention to the game. At least one top player called the advice "ridiculous"
and "irresponsible." Blatter said women's soccer needs different sponsors from the men's game and should
try to attract fashion and cosmetics companies by featuring ``more feminine uniforms.''
Hmmm, sounds to me like he's trying to draw attention to a dying sport.
Subject: Rush and McNabb
As usual you are a little slow on the news.
Yes, it was a funny thing Fox sports did with a fake McNabb whaling the tar out of an effigy to Rush Limbaugh.
Only one problem with all your giggles and
Rush predicted McNabb and the Eagles will win the Super Bowl about three weeks ago.
Well sure, after saying McNabb was overrated
by liberals, Rush has to retreat because McNabb brought
the Eagles to their third consecutive championship game so what choice did the vulgar Pigboy have?
You should feel dumb and uninformed, right?
McNabb has thanked Rush Limbaugh for
revving him and his Eagles up for a magnificent run since Rush quit the sports show.
I'd have to see that to believe it.
Blind, I'll bet that didn't happen.
McNabb wants to hire Rush now and spend a lot of time with him planning future public relations efforts.
Yeah, and he wants his daughter to marry the Nazi bastard, right?
Donovan McNabb now thinks Rush is the greatest.
You are one goofy duck, you know that?
So does Tiger Woods. So does Justice
Clarence Thomas, J C. Watts, Tom Sowell, Walter Williams
and millions of black fans who understand he paves the road to success while Democrats give them
a lonely dirt road to trod on to the Liberal Plantation.
You were correct until you got to "millions."
The blacks making mega-money by selling out their race do very good - that's a fact.
Also, I'm not sure Tiger has said "Rush is the greatest," but I know those others have.
One hundred years ago, Slappy and Sowell would've been happy to whip runaway slaves
just to get a cute nickname from the smirking slave owner in the big white house.
Bob Blooger (making you look stupid again)
Keep writing, no matter what.
Subject: Your language
> You are quite capable of articulating your points
with verve and wit without
> bringing things to such a base and anachronistic level.
I was angry when I wrote that.
You could probably tell.
Something on your mind?
Then listen for your voice on...
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Virtue Spokesman as seen on evilgopbastards.com
The nation was shocked to discover that the national scold and morality czar had lost millions at high stakes gambling.
A source claiming first-hand information
now reports that Casino Bill's other vice runs to the exotic -- liasons
with a very buff Las Vegas dominatrix. According to our source, national-press reporters have interviewed the
"beautiful domme muse mistress," but have been reluctant to publish the story to date.
They always cover for the GOP.
Strom Thurmond, Arnold, Newt, Poppy Bush's
Jennifer, Bob Livingston, Pinhead's abortion/coke bust/deserting,
they never printed a word of the truth until after someone else broke the story, but each Clinton rumor was on
the front page of the New York Whore Times and led the network evening news every night..
Click Here to read a message from Bill Bennett's personal, whip-in-hand dominatrix.
"I like the way she
smacks my ass."
Subject: bin Laden
You, Bartcop, put the word fact in boldface
when discussing Bin Laden.
You left out the FACT that he also wants to kill every Christian and Jew.
Once he has accomplished that goal he will
kill the Muslim infidels who dont see things his way.
In case your too damn stupid to recognize it, you will be killed if he has his way.
In case you dont realize that you were defending
a man who wants us all dead--you were.
Carson, have you recently suffered fallen and perhaps hit your head?
We Democrats are angry that Bush stopped looking for bin
Laden to steal Saddam's oil.
I want the 9-11 planners killed, not Iraqis.
Al Gore's remarkable speech Thursday is a stark reminder
that a lesser man took what this man had won.
Al Gore's remarkable address on climate change and environmental policy won a sustained ovation from
the audience that filled Manhattan's Beacon Theatre this afternoon. Lucid, learned, witty and fearless, the man
who won the last presidential election delivered what was certainly the best speech of his career and one of the
best I've ever heard given by any politician. (It is now available here.) The event's only regrettable aspect was
the absence of certain individuals who ought to have shut up and listened -- including Ralph Nader and his supporters,
axe-grinding reporters who maligned Gore so unfairly in 2000, and such scientific authorities as Rep. Roy Blunt
and Dr. Matt Drudge, who evidently "think" a winter snowstorm somehow disproves global warming.
We have a new address for advertisers - firstname.lastname@example.org
Please send all advertising
e-mails to email@example.com
with every e-mail, send your name and URL and banner unless it's already been run..
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000- they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
Click to Order
...... . ..
Wesley Clark Krugman Conason
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
I can't believe my equipment works.
We're going to drown you in radio shows.
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Jointon your next American tour.
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