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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Everyone is now a Carville  Recognizing who served Bush Trims a Tale  D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Kerry Voters Flooding  Don't let Bush get away  Bush's Accomplishments  The Persuadable vote Windsurfing comments    Quote of the Day "When people ask why this election is so close,    I can't explain it. It's like trying to figure out    how Billy Ray Cyrus sold 10 million records."         --Jeff Tweedy of the group 'Wilco'                                                          Attribution

 

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 Quotes

"Bush will never admit he's done anything wrong. They've made a lot of mistakes, and our
  troops and our taxpayers are paying for that right now. They will absolutely lie about anything."
     --John Edwards, in Manchester, N.H.,   Attribution

 How everyone turned into James Carville
  Thanks to the Net, we all know exactly what the candidates need to do to win

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Today, it seems that every political junkie online secretly (if not openly) believes he's James Carville,
 a strategist possessed of such uncontested political genius that a particular candidate would be crazy
 not to listen to his advice, especially if that particular candidate is John Kerry. It's possible to find
 people on the Web who'll claim that they could do at least as good a job in winning political races as
 the veteran consultants on the inside. So what if these people have never worked in any actual campaign?
 At least some of them were warning, months ago, that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth would be a
 problem for Kerry and that he should respond hard and fast -- an idea that Kerry's team would have
 been wise to consider."
 

 You don't have to be Carville to know Bush's lies must be refuted immediately or they will fester.
 Christ, did everyone forget Clinton's performance in 1992?

 After each dirty Bush lie, Clinton's War Room smothered it with the blanket of truth.
 Why can't Kerry's team remember the lessons from twelve years ago?
 Are they too young?
 Are they too proud?

 It's not that hard - it's just not.

  Comments?

 Recognizing who served:
  Look for a Demo hero or Rethug Chickenhawk

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan. 1971 as an army journalist in 20th Engineer Brigade.
 John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V Purple Hearts.

 Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
 Tom Delay: did not serve.  (homosexual)
 Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.

   Comments?

 Subject: NBC made a smart decision

 The only reason you have a problem with Leno getting fired is because your old.
 Leno's audience is shrinking, Conan's audience is growing.

 It does NBC no good to have a 60 year old Leno telling the same one liners hes
 been telling for 20 years.I wouldn't be suprised if he went out on a Monica joke.

 NBC made a smart business decision, and they gave Leno a 5 year warning,
 that's better then most people get.

 Matt.
 

 Matt, it's true that I'm old, but I have no problem with NBC's decision to fire Leno.
 The sad part was watching Jay lie to himself and to America.
 He wanted to retire about as much as Clinton did, which is not at all.
 It seemed to me he had been crying prior to the show.

 ...and yes, he'll go out on a Monica joke because, even tho they call him the hardest working
 comedian in show business, he's even lazier than Dave, and that's pretty damn lazy.
 Both of them go for the absolutely cheapest laugh possible.

 I have hours of tape of Leno on Dave's old show, it seemed like Jay was a guest every other week
 and the two of them would sit there and tell one great joke after another and you couldn't even catch a breath.
 But they both retired in 1998 when they discovered how easy Monica jokes were.
 

   Comments?

 Bush Trims a Tale
   by Robert Parry as seen at  consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Speaking to the United Nations, George W. Bush scaled back one of the lies he routinely tells
 the American people: Bush didn't repeat his claim that Saddam Hussein barred U.N. weapons
 inspectors from Iraq before the U.S.-led invasion.

 That Bush claim - accusing Hussein of having refused to admit the U.N. inspectors in 2002-2003
 - has become a central part of Bush's rewriting of the history of the Iraq War. The revision lets Bush
 present himself as a reasonable man who exhausted all peaceful options before turning to war as a last resort.

 Apparently trusting that his American audiences and the U.S. press corps won't challenge his false assertions,
 Bush has pitched this lie again and again, including in his acceptance speech to the Republican National
 Convention. But he trimmed the tale back on Sept. 21 while addressing the U.N. General Assembly,
 a place where the facts are better known.
 
 

 consortiumnews.com is the most important site on the www

  Comments?

 Subject: windsurfing

 For Christ's sake! The windsurfing shot is the LEAST of our problems.
 It was a blip on the screen.   If anyone saw that photo and decided to vote Bush,
 then they weren't going to vote Kerry anyway.

 The windsurfing isn't the problem.
 America is trying to decide who they trust their kid's lives to.
 One candidate is pounding the podium giving speeches while the other is windsurfing.

 Polls show 61 percent of Americans trust Bush  to get tough with terrorists
 while our candidate is trusted by 34 percent - so our guy needs to get busy.
 

 As the fearless Moore advised: stop the hand wringing.
 Stop the moaning! Put it behind and refocus.

 I'm not the one who needs to focus right now.
 Our side keeps forgetting to fight back.
 

 We've got 4 weeks to accentuate Kerry's positives while drilling relentlessly on
 Bush's million and two negatives. After Bush steals the election we'll have all the time
 in the world to piss and moan and bite each other on the ass about windsurfing photos, etc.
 FM
 

 FM, thanks for the note.

 New Voters (Kerry voters) Flooding Election Offices

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 New voters are flooding local election offices with paperwork, registering higher numbers
 than four years ago as attention to the presidential election runs high and an array of activist
 groups recruit would-be voters who could prove critical come Nov. 2.

 Cleveland has seen nearly twice as many new voters register so far as compared with 2000;
 Philadelphia is having its biggest boom in new voters in 20 years; and counties are bringing in
 temporary workers to help process all the new registration forms. .
 

  Comments?

 Subject: windsurfing

 Stop being so negative on our man John Kerry.
 Like Mayra says, the Republicans never savage their candidate,
 much less whine and bitch about any slight imperfections he may have,
 or have had in the past, particularly the distant past.

 Get over it!  Put on your game face!
 Buck up our side, instead of providing ammunition for the Republican enemy.
 Cheryl H
 

 Cheryl, I'm trying to get Kerry to join what's left of the fight.
 Republicans never have to beg their candidate to start fighting back.

 Quotes

"John Kerry is in town today, which is both exciting and maddening at the same time.
 You've got to get into some mudslinging, John.  You can't just sit back and watch as
 they besmirch your character and reputation with mistruths and falsifications.
 Get up and at 'em boy, or you're done for and then we're all doomed."
  -- from Shirley Manson's diary,  Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Saddam to run in Iraqi elections?
  Bush would never allow Iraq to choose their leader

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Saddam reportedly plans to run as a candidate in the Iraqi elections scheduled for January 2005.
 Saddam's lawyer Giovanni di Stefano told the press that would declare his candidacy for the elections.

 Stefano said a recent Gallup poll indicates 42 percent of Iraqis want their former leader back.
 

 That's how badly Bush has screwed up Iraq.
 They want a return to the rape rooms and mass graves - anything but Bush's bungling.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 George W. Bush's extremely bad judgement and his decisions related to the so-called "war on terrorism" have made
 America less safe.  Still, Bush continues to campaign on the idea that he's stronger than Kerry on protecting our citizens.
 Shortly after September 11, 2001, the Bush focus shifted from bin Laden to Iraq.  The focus hasn't been half on Iraq
 and half on bin Laden, but virtually one hundred percent on Iraq.  This miscalculation isn't merely a lack of crisp logic
 on the part of the Bush administration, but an Alice-in-Wonderland view of reason and the real world.

 Is It Time for War Zealots to Send Their Kids to Iraq?
  The story did not end with 3,000 dead. We now have more than 1,000 additional dead

  Click  Here
 

 Bush's Hometown Newspaper Endorses Kerry
  Bush will never know - he doesn't read

  Click  Here
 

 Norwegian pilots land plane after axe attack by passenger
  They let a Dude take an axe on the plane?

  Click  Here
 

 Seventeen-Foot Fugitive Python Found
  Mississippi lets people keep 17-foot snakes in the house?

  Click  Here

 Subject: Kerry gives up Arizona

 Dear Bart,

 What a bunch of weak kneed pusses! Kerry just will not fight.

 I moved to accept a new job in the Navajo Nation as a teacher for the BIA!
 I'm no longer living the US!     It feels so much nicer here... in a new country.

 The BFEE will do everything in their "arsenal of mass deception" to prevent those of us,
 including the FIRST AMERICANS from casting a ballot, since the Navajo Nation is Democratic!

 Regards,
 John
 Navajo Nation

 Question for the GOP...

 We know you want to back your boy, as we did with Clinton during impeachment,
 but impeachment wasn't killing our finest soldiers every day, one after another.

 Do you plan to stick with Bush to the end, no matter what?
 If Bush gets   3,000 men killed, you'll stay with him?
 If Bush gets   8,000 men killed, you'll stay with him?
 If Bush gets 20,000 men killed, you'll stay with him?

 Assuming at some point you'll say, "Enough is enough,"
 why not say that now and save thousands of lives as a bonus?

 You're going to have to change your mind sooner or later,
 unless you think the Middle East is going to soon run out of crazy "suiciders,"
 so why not give in now and let 150,000 of our best come home to their families?

 Are you going to sacrifice 20,000 men to say "Bush knows what he's doing?"

 Are you really going to be that stubborn, just so you can "win?"

 Subject: Leno

 Mr. Bart:

 Why do you have to be negative about everything?
 (I was tempted to ask why you are often an ass, but though better of it.)

 Jay Leno is just as much a fixture of our society as Johnny Carson.
 Many of us truly love Jay, and your stupid remarks about Jay being "fired" are really way off base.

 Bob in San Diego
 

 Bob, you might have a point.
 What if I said Leno's bosses invited him to leave?

 Networks to Ignore Debate Camera Rules
   They want to show reaction shots - Bush looking goofy goofier

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"The campaigns have agreed to this," said Princell Hair, CNN general manager. "We haven't.

"We have access to these cameras and we're going to - as we would with any news event
  - decide which is the best way to broadcast this," he said. "A producer in the booth will
 make those determinations, not some people in the campaign."

 The camera angles may seem like a small point, but campaigns know they offer potential
 embarrassing moments. Cameras caught George Herbert Herbert Bush, checking his watch
 during one debate and Al Gore sighing during answers given by Pinhead in 2000.

 Subject: Democrats

 Just curious
 Just what do you expect them to do?

 Mike in Mesa AZ
 

 Mike, if we're going to lose (nobody says we are)
 I'd at least like to see our side go down fighting.

 As far as what I expect them to do, almost any issue in the last 100 will have
 multiple ideas and suggestions, but maybe top of the list would be to deny the
 false allegation that Kerry is the most leftist politician in the history of the world.

 Have you seen him deny that even once?
 Whoever the Dems nominated would be lied about as "the most liberal," but Kerry
 hasn't bothered to deny it.  Just today, I talk to Vic the Nut from the old car lot.
 We talked politics, and he said, "What do you expect since Kerry's the most
 liberal member in congress?"

 That's a stupid lie fabricated by uber-Nazi Michael Barone, but Vic heard it, and Kerry
 has refused to deny it - so it sticks. I asked Vic if he knew who Michael Barone was,
 and of course he said no, but Barone's lie changed the face of this campiagn because
 Kerry couldn't figure out a way to say, "That's not true."

 Also, every senator has the power to filibuster and stop Bush from doing something.
 Have you seen even one filibuster since Jan 20, 2001?

 They have the power to stop Bush's worldwide murder spree - but they're too polite,
 even though those Republican bastards impeached Clinton for having a damn girlfriend.

 Quotes

"Bush is responsible for the needless deaths of so many young men and women.
  I don't usually agree with Howard Stern's opinions ... but when it comes to the
  direction of the country, we're on the same page."
    --George Takei, who played Sulu on the original Star Trek, Attribution

 Subject: playing to lose

 Bart,

"Dave R." isn't the only one suffering through the cheap-ass Kerry campaign and it's surrogates.
 We here in Louisville, KY. are stuggling to get yard signs and other things.

 I know this place is no battleground, but goddamn it, the Bush freaks have signs all over the place already.
 There are 93,000 registered Democrats in Jefferson county, and the Metro Democratic Party printed
 2,000 f-ing Kerry signs.  (big Al Gore *sigh*)

 If THEY are playing to lose,  I wish they'd tell US first.

 All the Best,
 Brian in Louisville

 Quotes

"In one month, 3000 children died in Iraq."
     --Foreign News Services, Attribution
 
 

..
"It's their bad luck to be living on top of my oil..."

 Subject: windsurfing

 Show a picture of kerry windsurfing next to a picture of bush
 falling off his bike or scooter in Kennebunk.

 throw it in their face.
 gary
 

 Gary, I'm with you, but notice the GOP is smart enough to keep Bush off
 the Segways and scooters while America is making their life-and-death decision.

 Quotes

"This war is not some noble endeavor, some great struggle of good against evil as Bush
  would have us believe. We in the military have heard these pronouncements many times
  before by men who have neither served nor sacrificed. This war is an exercise in colossal
  stupidity and hubris which has now cost more than 1,000 American military lives...
  And now, in a supreme act of truly breathtaking gall, this administration insists the only way
  to fix Iraq is to leave in power the very ones who created the nightmare."
      --Mike Turner, former Central Command planning staff for Desert Shield and Desert Storm,  Attribution

 George W. Bush's Accomplishments
  Get a drink, use the rest room - this will take some time

  Click  Here

 Excerpt:
 - Increased small business incentives to expand and to hire new people

 Possibly true, but it says "incentives to hire" instead of "hired."
 Nobody got hired, and Bush is still in negative numbers of job created.
 

 - Eliminated the Estate Tax (AKA "Death Tax") that was taking small farms and businesses from families

 Horseshit
 He eliminated the "estate tax" on millionaires with million dollar estates.
 98 percent of the poorest Americans lost money on this, but the super-rich did great!
 

   Comments?
 

..
"I'm the best president ever!!"

 Subject: saw this on demo Underground

 Here's a laundry list of things to watch for in the media after the debate this Thursday.

 KERRY   If he's serious - they'll say he's glum, gloomy, pessimistic, and uninspiring.
 If he's jovial - they'll say he's phony and trying too hard.

 BUSH  If he's serious - he's presidential, the war-time commander in chief.
 If he's jovial- everybody wants to have a beer with him.

 KERRY  If he's forceful - they'll say he's too aggressive, mean, negative, desperate.
 If he's calm - they'll say he's weak, unsteady, dull, lacks energy.

 BUSH  If he's forceful - they'll say he's strong, resolute, unwavering.
 If he's calm - they'll say he's prepared, on-message, disciplined, reserved.

 KERRY  If he's specific - they'll say he's wonkish, presenting "laundry lists,"
 being overly-intellectual, show-offy, and nobody likes the smart kid.
 If he's not specific - they'll say he's vague, criticizing but not offering solutions,
 not addressing the issues, and nobody knows who he is.

 BUSH  If he's specific - they'll say he "lays out his plan" and "makes his case."
 If he's not specific - they'll say he's spanning the issues, giving a global presentation,
 painting a broad outline of his plans.

 KERRY  If he jokes - they'll say he lacks gravitas, trivializes important issues,
 doesn't understand troops are in harm's way, nation's at war, disrespects the president, etc.
 If he doesn't joke - they'll say he needs to lighten up, he's too stoney, he's wooden.

 BUSH  If he jokes - they'll say he's a man of the people, a regular guy, people relate to him.
 If he doesn't joke - they'll say he truly cares about the American people and his sincerity
 resonates with voters in this difficult time.
 

 I don't buy that.
 That basically days he's screwed either way, but that offers tremendous freedom.

 If he's screwed either way, that means he's got nothing to lose by going out there
 and standing tall and saying what needs to be said and taking the Smirk apart limb-by-limb.

 That crazy Zarqawi bastard is making our $40B military look impotent because his life is
 so screwed, he's got nothing to lose - same for Atta and the 9-11 assholes.
 If all is truly lost, you might as well go 'all in" and take your best shot.
 Playing it safe will surely backfire, don't you think?

 Kerry needs heavy drama.
 He's either behind or waaaay behind, and he needs a knockout.
 He can't afford to stand there and dance and watch the clock.

 Whenever Smirk says, "It was important to get Saddam," Kerry could say,
"Mr. President, there are 1050 military widows who want to know why."

 When Smirk says, "Saddam had to be dealt with," Kerry could say,
"Mr. President, there are 8,000 heroes missing arms and legs who would
 like to get specific reasons from you why they had to lose their limbs."
 

 Bottom line:
 It's time for the big f-ing hammer
 and we can't wait another damn day.
 For Kerry and for us the next four years - there is no tomorrow.

 If Kerry can't mop the floor with the stupidest president in American history,
 a president who lied us into another Vietnam after losing $11 trillion from the Treasury
 and went to sleep after the CIA told him Osama was on his way, it will just be damn sad.

 Rowe vs Wade is gone if Kerry loses this debate.
 Bush will finish the Enronization of America if Kerry loses this debate.
 Bush will increase his overseas bellicosity if Kerry doesn't win.

 Kerry Must Win the 'Persuadable' Vote

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 If John Kerry has a chance of winning the White House, he must win over many in
 the small but central slice of the electorate known as "persuadable" voters who harbor
 serious doubts about his leadership abilities.

 They tend to like Kerry better on handling the economy and half say a fresh start
 would be worth the risk. But doubts about his leadership skills are mentioned early
 as an obstacle to those considering a switch to the Democratic nominee.

 About one in every five voters is persuadable - including about 5 percent who
 don't know who will get their vote and about 15 percent who say they are leaning
 toward one candidate but could switch to another.
 

 Remember in 2000 they said Gore came off like he knew everything?
 What the hell's wrong with appearing to have a damn clue?
 Standing next to Bush, anybody would seem that way, so why not embrace that
 with the attitude, "Don't hate me because I have a brain and the Nut Monkey
 to my left is still trying to figure our how many toes he has."

 Terrorism means people's lives are at stake.
 Why not have a smart president when the stakes are this high?

 Subject: Hollywood liberal update

 Bart,

 How's it going dude?   ...a little Hollywood Liberal update.

 Just got back from New York where my first court date for my arrest at the Republican Convention took place.
 The National Lawyers Guild has gotten me a lawyer who wants to fight each of these charges all the way.

 I have decided that I am going to fight this thing no matter how many times I have to go back there.
 Eventually they will dismiss the charges. And then we are going to sue those bastards for all we can get.
 Hopefully this will make them think twice before they illegally arrest hundreds of people at a time.

 I saw an article yesterday where Bush tells his oath pledging campaign speech toadies that The Hollywood
 Liberals are all agaisnt him and that the heart and soul of America is right here in  (insert name of small town here).

 Well I think that if it wasn't for us "Hollywood Liberals" getting the message out, Bush would win in a landslide.
 The heart and soul of America is right here in Hollywood.

 Power to the people.
 L.A. Rick.  The Hollywood Liberal
 www.thehollywoodliberal.com

 Subject: BCR Show 55

 I loved the show. Don't sell yourself short on your editing skills.

 I always like to hear you take shots at Leno.
 I stopped eating Doritos when he started endorsing them.

 I especially liked the music choices.
 It's been a long time since I heard any Uriah Heep.

 Thanks,
 Jeff
 

 Jeff, thanks.
 Heep rules!

 Subject: goodbye after four years

 Bartcop,
 A letter that will never be posted. But one I need to send.

 Your site got me through the 2000 elections, through 9/11 and the primaries
 - but you have lost sight of the big picture.
 You need to stop nailing Kerry for everything that 9/11 did to this country.
 We were all scared, remember MR. Glass them?
 Hmm....We gave the idiot power and he abused it.

 Your site is starting to look like a third party site.
 I have been so loyal, sent more folks to you site, but alas, I myself am finished.
 You spew more hate and disgust at the only chance we have and it is wasting time.
 You should be focusing on Kerrys positive's not patting yourself on the back for the Windsufing.

 I should be happy with a losing campaign?  It would be SO EASY to lie and say
 "Kerry's going to win forty states," but I've chosen the other path.

 You are not in the race for us you are for you and yes the TUTU's with our Ticket
 which I AM DAM PROUD OF is a fucking disgrace. You should work for FOX

 I'm not sure what that means, but you sound very upset.
 Did you say our ticket is a disgrace?
 

 Goodbye --- Get a live --- Tequilla, Garbage, Scott Petterson, Poker, who gives a shit,
 ITS LETS GET BUSH OUT NOW. Olberman, Stewart that's where its at.
 You have become an an arrogant anti everyone no it all, but I remember when.

 If you know someone working harder to try to wake Kerry up, send me their link, please.
 Who knows?  Maybe Kerry will chop Bush into pieces tomorrow night - it's possible.
 .

 You won't print this and if you do you will use your much snippage, as usual.
 Don't use my e-mail as I have supported you so many times and I am a BUSH hater
 and want nothing more than    <sorry for the snippage - it's to protect both of us>

 Coop
 

 Coop, I believe it's irrational to blame me for the situation.
 If Kerry was ahead by 12, I think you would've written a nice letter.
 Saying I should work for FOX because I want Kerry to fight makes no sense.
 I see no reason for Democrats to attack each other.

 Subject: good work

 Bart -

 I've been reading a lot of criticism about you not supporting Kerry blindly enough.
 I think it shows real political insight and actual "balance" on your part. Just because Bush
 is a nazi doesn't mean Kerry should be worshipped, especially when he screws around
 during the most important political campaign in our lifetimes.

 A lot of these critics seem to think any criticism of Kerry is pro-Bush or "un-American".
 When Kerry does something stupid or reprehensible, somebody has to call him on it.
 Keep up the good work.

 Although my personal opinion is that Kerry is sold-out to the same bastards who pull
 Bush's strings, I hope he beats the Death Monkey this November.  And if he does,
 keep his feet to the rhetorical fire, Bart, and maybe I'll be proven wrong.

 Anyway, keep calling a spade a spade - somebody's got to do it, and you do it pretty well.
 Max Respect

 VCR Alert

 Hawaii - Should a fella be allowed to grow pot on his private property?

 Lost - Gilligan's Island meets Twin Peaks

 C.S.I. - a week after their premier, they give us a f-ing repeat.
              I'm glad the networks are losing viewers every year.
              Network execs are all going to hell, except for HBO's.

 World Poker Tour - a cruise to Mexico - we gotta do a Poker Cruise sometime.
              Did you see Salon.com put together a Democrats cruise (bet you didn't know that)
              but it got cancelled due to the hurricanes, so they're planning for 2005.
              Poor Democrats - we can't do anything right.

 ..

 Subject: ooh ooh aah aah ooga ooga ahh ahh

 OH.  MY. GOD.
 The monkey can type!

 The monkey can debate, too, but there is nobody in all of cyberspace
 from the right side of the aisle who will dare get in the chat room with me
 because I have the truth on my side and I don't lay down when somebody says "Boo!"

 Maybe you have what it takes to set me straight?
 Or, ...are you "too busy" to take your Size 11 boot suppository?

 I'm getting tired of these daily false alarms by pussified Republicans.
 Let's get in the ring -  my boot is hungry for some Monkey ass.

 Can't stand the thought that Kerry is going down in a matter of weeks, can you?

 You're right - I can't stand the thought of that.
 Who knows?
 Maybe he'll show signs of life in the debate...
 (I hope Bob Shrum doesn't tell Kerry to be shy and polite)
 

 If you prefer a country with only one party why don't you move to China?
 I'll bet you would love it over there.

 What would be the difference?
 America only has one party, so how would moving to China help?

 We also have a state-controlled press, like China.
 We jail suspects without a reason or access to a lawyer, like China.
 We torture and execute suspects in secrecy, just like China

 One real difference is that China hasn't invaded anyone lately.
 Another difference is the whole world doesn't hate and fear China.
 

 HAHA.
 You are so pathetic.

 Andrew McNeil
 

 Andrew, if you have the cojones to set me straight, I'm ready.

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..
              Shirley Manson of Garbage

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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