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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Will Ferrell's ACT  Labor's Love Lost  Novak explodes  Random thoughts...   Reporters Basrassination  Get rich w/ bartcop.com  Most say Bush dishonest  Toddler was coked up  Kate Hudson on sex  Quote of the Day "Bush as proof that you can be    totally impervious to the effects    of Harvard and Yale education."        --Barney Frank,   Attribution

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Quotes

"Precious Leader has so far spent 319 days "on vacation" in Crawford.
  Bush makes $1,123 a DAY.    So far, we have paid him $347,192 to
  clear brush at his fake ranch.   Meanwhile, Marines dying in Iraq
  make $49 a day.   Where do I sign up?"
        --David Allen,   http://thoughtcrimes.org/mt/
 

  Comments?

 Will Ferrell & ACT's Failed Logic
   by Robert Parry on  consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Two experiences midway through Campaign 2004 - one involving comedian Will Ferrell
 and the other billionaire George Soros - convinced me that the Democrats are doomed until
 they grasp how the Republicans have used media to change the rules of America's political game.

 Ferrell portrayed Bush doing a manipulative campaign ad, as a crisply dressed rancher who feared
 horses and who used farm tools as clumsy props. Amid the stops and starts of filming the "ad,"
 Ferrell's Bush would ramble on about "peace through bombs," and snap at the off-screen director.

 After watching Ferrell's performance, I turned to the executive producer (and friend),
 Julie Bergman Sender, and told her that if the video were widely broadcast on American
 television, I couldn't envision Bush winning.

 I'm sure the democrats thought the ad was "too mean" and refused to run it.
 They don't want to win.

 Until that changes, the world will remain bloody and unstable.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Here's a thought. What if we brought home 22 soldiers and let them clear brush on the
"Lazy W Ranch"? That's how many soldiers we could pay for with Bush's daily salary.
  At the same time, we could send George over to see how his war is going and give him
  an opportunity to see what REAL hard work is like. If he gets hurt, he'll be treated at
  the finest underfunded VA hospitals in the world. And if, God forbid, he were killed,
  Laura can collect that generous $100,000 "death gratuity" her husband supported."
         --David Allen,     Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Labor's Love Lost
  by my good friend Greg Palast

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 When my goofy father told my mother last week he'd decided to have an affair,
 mom was shaken up. But I couldn't stifle a laugh. Dad's hot new scooter is not much
 of a babe magnet: he hasn't yet bought the attachment for his walker. They're both 84 years old.

 At least they're younger than the America Federation of Labor, the current AFL-CIO.
 This week, the Teamster and Service Employees and a couple of other AFL-CIO unions
 called it splitsville. Let's mix in a new metaphor here. I can't say these unions shouldn't jump out
 of the burning Federation airplane, but they should have thought of taking a parachute or two.
 Instead they leaped holding onto a couple of lead balls: Andy Stern and Jimmy Hoffa Jr.
 

 ...but, ...who will finance Las Vegas casinoes* for the mob if not the Teamsters?

 Oh, that's right - Vegas went legit in the eighties.
 Nevermind.

 * I miss Dan Quayle - he didn't get any soldiers killed.

  Comments?

 Subject: Bush believes Palmiero?

 Rafael Palmeiro is now suspended from baseball because he tested positive
 for steroids use after swearing that he never, never. never takes steroids.

 Even after steroids were found in his body he still denies taking steroids.
 President Bush says Palmeiro is "a friend" and said, "He's testified in public, and I believe him."

 What a surprise.
 No wonder we're stuck in Iraq!

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.
 

..

  Click  Here

 Novak explodes, gets suspended by CNN
  Carville goads Senior Douchebag into cursing on the set

  Click  Here   for the juicy details

  Excerpt:
 CNN suspended Senior Douchebag indefinitely after he swore and walked off the set
 Thursday after losing his cool during a debate with Democratic operative James Carville.

 A CNN spokeswoman, Edie Emery, called Novak's behavior "inexcusable and unacceptable."
 Novak had apologized to CNN, and CNN was apologizing to viewers, she said.

"We've asked Mr. Novak to take some time off," she said.
 

  Click  Here  to see Le Douche blow his career (Thanks to Am Stranger at  blah3.com)

  ...and check out the SE grin on Carville's face afterwards - ha ha

 Poor Bob - he must be worried about going to prison for betraying his country...

..

  Comments?

 Quotes

"John Bolton is to diplomacy what
  Jack the Ripper was to surgery."
        --Ian Williams, of  The Nation magazine, Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Random thought...

 Bush says we're going to keep troops in Iraq
"until the Iraqis can protect their country on their own."

 Does he mean as well as the US forces are protecting Iraq right now?
 We've lost 50 troops in the last ten days.

 We have total f-ing choas in Iraq.
 Since we can't defend the country,
 why do we expect the newbie trainees to do any better?
 

  Comments?

 From: John Kerry

 To: Icavedin  (my name at Kerry HQ)

 Subject: The Fight Starts Now!

 <snippage>

 No John, the fight started in mid 2003, but you went to sleep, remember?
 We tried and tried to get you involved, but you couldn't be bothered, remember?

 The fight ended when you tried to concede - but Bush was already seepy-bye-bye
 in his baseball pajamas with the feet sewed right into them

 You screwed the entire planet, John.
 You helped Bush send a thousand soldiers  to their deaths - how can you live with that?

 You make me ashamed to say I'm a Democrat, John.
 Please resign so the Democrats can regain a modicum of credibility.

 You and every other Demo quitter make me sick.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"I understand older people don't like change"
     --Dubya, about the elderly and Social Security reform,  Attribution
 

 Monkey, they mostly don't want you to steal what's left of the Treasury.
 

 Comments?

 Subject: Guns in the workplace

 Bart,

 Back to guns...after the NRA-sponsored bill that exempts gun makers from all liability -
 including negligence even for guns that explode when you use them- (that's crazy) we have
 a new gun situation, based out of your own Oklahoma.  Leading the nation, OK now has a
 law that requires every business and every property to allow people to bring guns.

 The NRA wants this to go nationwide, and their version eliminates age restrictions.
 Only convicted felons would not be allowed to carry the guns.  In other words, if this new bill
 is put in place, children would be allowed to bring guns of any sort -- including AK-47s and
 9 mm Glocks -- to school, even though they aren't allowed to buy them at that age.

 While I support private gun ownership, I think this is too far.  Just as I would like to have the
 right to bring my own gun to some events, I recognize that businesses and property owners
 should have the right to prevent me from doing so.  I can just imagine what would have
 happened in some of the bars I visited as a college student if the people yelling and
 swinging at each other were armed with automatic pistols.

 Russ
 

 Russ, Oklahoma is as crazy as you can get.
 Look at Pissquik Inhofe and Jesus Twin Tom Coburn for verification.

 These handjobs give gun owners a bad name.
 

  Comments?

 Reporters Basrassination

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Intrepid courageous National Review and Christian Science Monitor reporter Steven Vincent
 went from the height of his profession- a July 31 editorial in NYT- to its bottom- kidnapped and
 murdered Aug 2 by corrupt or fake police for reporting the extremist Shiite takeover of Basra's
 police and universities, and their intimidation of women. He claimed hundreds a month were being
 assassinated by extremists and police associated with Moqtada al Sadr.

 His excellent blog describes the chilling encounter with the Muqti cops [Eddie grabbed my arm and,
 smirking and snorting, shoved his cell phone in my face, where prominently displayed on its call screen
 was a mini-image of...the Twin Towers burning.], and trying to explain the situation to a decent naive
 US captain who replied,  "I mean, I've always believed that we shouldn't project American values onto
 other cultures--that we should let them be. Who is to say we are right and they are wrong?". - July 29
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Abortion

 I have an honest question about the abortion thing.

 Dude, we're all about not lying to ourselves at  bartcop.com
 I think not lying to yourself is the first plank of sanity.
 

 What am I if I believe that abortion is a horrible thing that should be discouraged
 wherever possible, but that it's a necessary evil in a society that values the freedom
 to determine the course of one's own life?

 Dude, abortion is like root canal.    It is a horrible thing,
 Nobody f-ing wants one, but Republicans want to decide that issue  FOR you.
 

 Does that make me pro-life, pro-choice or something else?
 Just asking because I respect your opinion.
 ---JEFF from Tulsa, OK
 

 I say that makes you sane.
 Clinton said, "Abortion should be safe, legal and rare,"
 If you disagree with Bill, you want abortion to be "dangerous, illegal and often."

 Shame on those "dangerous and often" abortion Republicans.
 

  Comments?

 Toddler LA cops shot was on cocaine
  On drugs? - then it's OK that they shot her

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A 19-month-old girl killed by police as her father held her hostage
 had trace amounts of cocaine in her system, coroner's officials say.

 Baby Suzie Pena was shot by police after her father opened fire on officers who cornered him
 in his business July 10 following a chaotic, three-hour confrontation. Jose Pena, 34, was holding
 the toddler as he fired a 9 mm handgun, wounding one officer. The officers returned fire, killing
 Pena and the defenseless baby. Police found traces of cocaine and a partly empty tequila bottle
 in the office where Pena had tried to hold them off.

 The small amounts of cocaine in the girl's system suggested she ingested it through skin contact,
 breast feeding or inhaling cocaine that someone else smoked, said Craig Harvey, operations chief
 for the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office.
.

 We can't mollycoddle drugs users no matter what the age.  The LA cops have a right to shoot
 anyone they suspect may have been doing drugs. She got what was coming to her - right?
 How else can we be a country worthy of Bush's divine leadership?
 

  Comments?

 Subject: cunning linguist

 Bart, about the guy who apparently thinks you cuss so cunningly --

 Stew wrote::
> "I had just finished listening to about 60% of BCR 77 when I thought,
> "Bart is a cunning linguist."

 I can't believe your dumb enough NOT to know that this guy
 just called you a xxxx xxxxxx.

 Dan
 

 Dan, put it back in your pants.
 It's a song lyric by Deep Purple.

 http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/deep-purple/38776.html

 ...we put her on the hit list
 of a common cunning linguist
 A master of many tongues
 and now she eases gently
 From her Austin to her Bentley
 suddenly she feels so young...
 

 Plus, that was BCR 77 which you've never heard
 yet you have such a strong opinion about it.

 Why do people have to be so hostile when they screw up?
 

  Comments?

..

 Subject: Swift Boaters

 I pose a question.

 What if the Swiftboat Vets were telling the truth?
 Maybe this is why Kerry didn't "fight back".
 He had nothing to fight except the truth?

 The facts say the Swift Boaters were lying.
 The main accuser said there were no bullets flying around them,
 yet his own bravery citation says "for dodging bullets."

 Until 2004, being a war hero meant something.
 Until 2004, a Purple Heart was something the GOP respected.

 Truth is, the press thought the Swift Boaters were cute so they helped them
 and Kerry didn't have the brains, the balls or the will to fight back.
 Will we pick a scared-to-fight candidate three times in a row?
 

 Why is every claim made about a democrat automatically an "outrageous lie"?
 Are they all lilly white and innocent?
 Brandt
 

 Democrats like to have sex with women - that's their weak point.
 The GOP likes to fuck the Constitution - that's their crime.

.
  Comments?

 Most say Bush dishonest

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Americans' approval of Bush's handling of Iraq is at its lowest level yet,
 and fewer than half now think he's honest. Approval of Bush's handling of Iraq,
 which had been hovering in the low- to mid-40s most of the year, dipped to 38

 Bush's overall job approval was at 42 percent, slightly lower than at the beginning of the year.
 The people who consider Bush a honest fell to 48 percent.
 

 That five week vacation he's on (again?) will be over around Sept 9th.
 Bush will come back to the White House before the 9-11 anniversary and FOX News,
 the networks and talk radio will tell us how Bush is "hard at work protecting America"
 from his former partner in the oil business, Osama.
 

..

  Comments?

 Subject: LA Cops are NOT out of control

 Sure, cops can make mistakes like every human being alive.

 A trained professional with a gun isn't supposed to "make a mistake" into a kid's brain.
 It's not like someone asked for the salt and the cop handed him the pepper, instead.
 

 But to claim that LA cops are "out of control" based solely on the death of this child is a mistake.

 I didn't do that.
 I said they were out of control three ways, and just this summer.
for some reason, they shot a baby when shooting baby wasn't called for
The LA Police Chief declared his men innocent until the facts proved them guilty
The judge ruled they cheated in the murder trial of a black man.

 How many strikes, in one summer, does an LA Police Chief get?
 

 And to blame the cops for this child's death is also a mistake.
 Her father caused her death by shooting at cops while carrying the child as a shield.

 The coroner says you're mistaken.
 The coroner says a cop bullet was the cause of death.
 That toddler could've used some LAPD restraint.
 

 Should the cops have allowed other innocents to die because this suicidal,
 homicidal coward chose to use his child like this?  No way!

 Dave the Lawyer
 

 Objection!
 No foundation has been laid for "other innocents to die."

 Sure, if Pena was "killing people" he would've needed to be dropped ASAP.
 My total recall tells me one cop was wounded in the shootout, not seriously

 I notice you didn't touch the second half of the charges.
 Is there an excuse for honest cops to hide exculpatory evidence during a murder trial?
 

  Comments?

 Honor system no longer extant
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 [America's news organizations] played Bill Clinton's sexual sins bigger than the invasion
 of Normandy. Their coverage of the 2000 election clearly favored George W. Bush,
 and their failure to effectively expose the Swift Boat dirty tricksters probably decided
 the 2004 election. Their collective performance during the run-up to the Iraq war was
 a national disgrace. Otherwise, yeah, they're more "liberal" than Rush Limbaugh.
 But then, that's how the fundamentalist mind works in religion and politics: You're either
 with them 100 percent or you're the enemy. In that regard, no selfrespecting press
 organization can be anything but "liberal" in the sense of sharing a post-enlightenment
 world view that distinguishes between fact and belief. And facts, see, are the enemy of dogma.
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Isaac's letter

 Dear Mr. Peterson,
 Thank you Sir for your short, yet inspiring letter to BartCop.

 A little ray of sunshine...or should I say...a diamond glistening on a Bush-polluted beach?

 Doug Keene
 in Bushwhacked DeLand, FL
 

 He's gonna kill me, but I have a picture of Isaac from, ...like, ...the eighties.

..

 Check him out - he looks like he's trying to work out the 'Stairway to Heaven' solo
 on his Gibson doubleneck, standing between a water heater and a support beam in the
 parking garage where Deep Throat met Woodward in All the President's Men.

 ...but nobody was laughing when we met Isaac the weekend I headlined in Vegas.

 In real life, Isaac is smoother than James Bond raised by Miles Davis.
 For one thing, he dresses sharper than Ann Coulter's tongue.
 Plus he's so low key - like if the building caught fire, he might raise an eyebrow.
 He's the type of guy who could watch a tape of himself at last night's party and be proud.

 That Isaac - he's one cool dude.
 

  Comments?

 Random thought...

 Paul Hacket just lost his House race in Ohio.
 Not-unrelated, Ohio lost 20 soldiers from the same unit this week.

 Is Ohio happy that they elected a religiously-insane handjob
 who will support every bloody invasion the Murder Monkey attempts?
 

  Comments?

  Subject: comments

 VERY depressing reply in 1594 re: "Why post comments link?"

 I too see no difference between you and Rush here.
 A soapbox is a soapbox.
 

 If you only care about your own views, that's fine.
 At least I know where I stand.
 The respondent is right, why bother?

 Maybe you're just a false flag GOP black op anyway.
 Paul McLain
 

 Paul, in the comedy business, we call what I do sarcasm.
 I don't really write the letters from readers. We get a lot of mail.
 There is more mail than four of us can read.

 You see no difference between me and Rush?
 Would Rush lose a debate on his own show?

 BTW, how'd you know I was a false flag GOP black op?
 (That's more sarcasm, Paul.)
 

  Comments?

..
   Click

 Subject: Donation

 Thanks for your tireless work, Bart!
 You help keep me sane.
 DRoberts
 
 

 You can donate with PayPal...or  snail mail.

 bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

  Click  Here to subscribe or donate
 

..

  Comments?

 Hot teacher busted for sexing Cath boys

..

  Click  Here

 When I was a young Catholic boy, all of my teachers looked like this

..

 ...and none of them would have sex with me.

  Comments?

 The great Bushwatch/Bartcop war

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Friends say that while Mr. Politex usually appears upbeat - and is trying to convey
 a sense of normality - the Bartcop voting attacks and their campaign aftermath have
 weighed on the editor far more than the lowest moments of his Bush Watch coverage
 of the grueling presidential campaign between Al Gore and George W. Bush.
 

  Comments?

 HELP WANTED
  "Paying position" - those are rare at  bartcop.com

 I need someone with  Cafepress.com  experience to run the BartStore.
 If you have a  Cafepress.com  store and want to make money
 don't send an e-mail saying "I'd like that job."

 Instead, send the link for your current store to  bartcop-store@bartcop.com.

 This will be super-easy for someone who already has a store.
 It should only take 30 minutes a week, or more of you want more money.

 All you have to do is check the  bartcop.com  website and grab a graphic off the page
 or a phrase like "Murder Monkey" or "Pinhead President"  and slap it on
 the different shirts, mugs, mousepads and you're on your way to untold riches!
 Every Friday (or more often if you like untold riches) we'll unveil the new slogan
 and you just sit back and watch the big bucks roll in.

 The job pays 30% of the profits and you can do the job in your underwear.
 It would be perfect for a disabled person, but we'd hire a healthy person, too.

 We can hire up to seven people.
 Cafepress.com  allows unlimited stores, so if seven people sign up,
 we can put everyone's ideas up, one day at a time, and play "Survivor."

 Each week, we'll unceremoniously dump the loser and after six weeks you'll be
 so burned out we'll have to advertise again - BUT - saying you worked for
 bartcop.com  will look great on future resumes.

 People who've never worked with me say they think I'd make a great boss.
 Sign up and see for yourself!

 So - send the link for your current store to  bartcop-store@bartcop.com.
 and start looking at new cars because you're sure to be rich quick!
 

  Comments?

..

 Subject: Shaq

 I have to explain the sports world to you, you dumb xxxx.

 As I understand it, Mr. Shaq took a cut with his new contract to give his team more money
 to spend on other player so they can improve. He took quite a cut to help the team.
 If he puts fannys in the seats, the team is getting a good deal.. Now it could be questioned
 whether he's worth the money, but not by you.

 ha ha
 What, the sane need not offer an opinion?
 

 You wouldn't know a basketball from one of Pam Anderson's tits.

 You're wrong about that.
 The basketball is slightly larger.
 

 Basketball doesn't "suck" because you don't like it any more than U2 sucks because I don't like them.

 How nice of you to stick up for Bono that way.
 I figured you for a closet Bonomaniac.
 

 Arena's are full every night they play, at least in the big cities with good teams.
 You don't like it. Who cares?

 Rude Rich
 

 No, basketball really sucks.
 Maybe if they wore felt on their shoes they wouldn't squeak so damn much.

 ...and intentional fouls when you're in trouble?
 Who drew up the rules for this game - Catholics?

 BTW, remember the time we played pool all afternoon in D.C. and you never won a game?
 Basketball sucks worse than you playing pool.
 

  Comments?

 Flashback to BCVol 903        October 2002,

 Something that needs to be said

 The GOP (and their good puppy press) keep whining about Democrats not
 standing behind the Unelected Fraud as he murders his way to more wealth.

 Does anyone remember a little thing called impeachment?
 While Clinton (elected fairly - twice) was pounding that bastard Milosombitch, stopping his genocide,
 the GOP bastards were impeaching him, and then screwing their whores in hotel rooms at night.
 That scumbag David Schippers even brought his whore to the impeachment proceedings.
 

 Reminder:
 The ONLY reason Dennis Hastert is Speaker is because he was the ONLY Republican
 they could find who wasn't cheating on his wife - they had no choice but to run him for Speaker.
 

 Gingrich, who ordered the trumped-up impeachment circus, had a whore, too.
 Barr, Burton, Livingston and Hyde were all scumbags, impeaching Clinton for
 doing what they had all done or were currently doing.

 ...eh?  What's that?

 Darn, I always make that mistake:
 Barr wasn't caught cheating - he financed the murder of his unborn daughter.

 So the next time you hear the GOP (and their good puppy press) whining about
 Democrats not standing behind Dim Son as he murders his way to more riches,
 remind them that Bush would be impeached if the democrats had any balls at all.
 

 Flash-forward to 2005
 Democrats are still sacless wimps, offering their dignity and their lunch money
 to any bully with enough cojones to bark at them.
 

  Comments?

 Police group OKs jihad on suspects

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 An international organization of police chiefs has broadened its policy for the use of
 deadly force by telling officers to shoot suspected suicide bombers in the head,
 The WaHoPo reported on Thursday.

 The International Association of Chiefs of Police issued new guidelines to its 20,000 members
 about two weeks before British police shot dead an innocent Brazilian electrician because
 they mistook him for a suspected suicide bomber, the newspaper said.
 

 "Suspected" suicide bomber?
 As in "That nigger suspect looks guilty to me" shoot 'em in the head?
 Legally?

 As in "That camel jockey seemed kinda suspcious" shoot 'em in the head?
 Legally?
 

 I think I'll take my chances with Al Qaeda.
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Open letter to the Muslim Community

 We, the People of the United States ask that you not vent your anger on us citizens
 for the acts of George Bush. Our ballots are rigged and our elections are fixed.
 We no longer have a free press.  We used to be a democracy but like you,
 but we are now occupied by a power that is hostile to freedom and liberty.

 When you attack the American people you only strengthen the hand of our
 common oppressor.  I live in the San Francisco area where Muslims, Palestinians
 and Jews march hand in hand for peace and social justice.

 We too are angry about the state of the world, but we need to ask ourselves what we
 want for the future. Do we want live in violence or peace? What do we have to do to
 make sure that the future that we leave to the next generation is better that what we inherited?

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.
 

  Comments?

  Subject:  Hoo Hoo catches Rush lying again

 Being a loyal Opie and Anthony listener, I haven't heard Howeard Stern in months
 but the other day Al Franken played a bit from Hoo Hoo's show this week catching
 Fat Boy in yet another lie.

 One of Howie's staff found a tape from the old Rush failed TV show in which Rush
 was blasting poor Darryl Strawberry for taking drugs. Rush said that drug abuse
 wasn't a disease, it was a life style choice. Drug addicts choose to take drugs, he said.

 He also said he was sick of all these druggies going into rehab and coming out
 proclaiming themselves victims, everything Rush did when he came out of rehab.
 Maybe he only meant black people.

 Kudo's to Howie for playing this bit and to Franken for crediting Hoo Hoo.
 Don't believe Rush when he says he never talked about druggies, as if you'd
 ever believe anything Rush says anyway.

 BTW...we call him Hoo Hoo because he's always crying about people ripping him off......
 Tell 'em, Fred.

 Rude Rich

..
   Click to hear Rush defend himself
 

 Dude, that was like the nicest e-mail you ever sent me.
 You didn't call me a dumb-ass Okie hick or anything...
 

  Comments?

..
           Click  to  Join

  ...make money - players are drunk.

 Deposit $50 and the'll give you a $25 bonus.

 You can also play for pretend money.

  Comments?

  Subject:  Scuse me, while I kiss this guy...

 LOL
 I always thought that was the  lyric.
 Keefer.
 

 Dude, lots of people did.
 

  Comments?

 Kate Hudson: It's OK if husband strays

..

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"If for some reason, that's what he has to go do, I just don't want to know.
 As long as things are good in our house, just please, don't get caught."
 

  Comments?

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2005, bartcop.com

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..
               Shirley the Tigress

 Garbage playing Portland Sept 3, maybe
 Garbage playing Seattle Sept 4th, maybe
 Garbage playing San Fran Sept 10th

 Shrl, Steve - send me an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 Catch you in Vegas at The Hard Rock -- but when?

 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.

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