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Sept 22, 2005     Volume 1623 - Drunk Monkey

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Power of Nightmares

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Bush & the Media
Zogby: Pollster for sale 
Et Tu, Greg Palast?
Pot club seek regulation
Download 9/24 POSTERS 
Meet in SF, LA and DC 
Cat 5 Rita sees Texas 
Shirley confirms, denies 
Angie Harmon sucks 


 Quote of the Day

"I wonder if someday we'll learn that 
  Cindy Sheehan had another son that 
   was killed by Hurricane Katrina."
   -- the vulgar Pigboy, who feels comfy
       mocking our dead soldiers   Link


Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=bartcop@bartcop.com

Please click on Sculptor Sam


"The American people want an independent commission to find out the truth. They do not
want a partisan whitewash of what went wrong with Katrina. I will not appoint any Democrats to
participate in this sham. Instead, Democrats have proposed an independent commission, based
on the rigorous and effective example of the bipartisan 9/11 Commission.  (Gag me with a swastika)
I ask the Republican Leadership to join me in supporting an independent commission to determine
what really went wrong with Katrina. The American people expect and deserve nothing less."
     --Nancy Pelosi, wishing Lee "Whitewash" Hamilton could cover-up another Bush crime/disaster,    Link



Bush & Media: Normalizing the Abnormal
 by Robert Parry at  consortiumnews.com


From Election 2000 to the 9/11 terror attacks to the invasion of Iraq, the press corps often acted
as if its principal duty to the nation was to normalize Bush's often abnormal behavior, like the enabling
family of a drug addict insisting nothing is wrong. While traditionally journalists play up the unusual,
in Bush's case, the media did the opposite.

This pattern can be traced back to Campaign 2000 when Al Gore became a favorite whipping boy
of the national press corps, apparently still annoyed by Clinton's survival of the impeachment battles.

As a Consortiumnews.com article on Oct. 16, 2000, noted, "the national news media have altered
the course of Campaign 2000 - perhaps decisively - by applying two starkly different standards for
judging how Bush and Cheney handle the truth versus how Al Gore does.

"Bush and Cheney have gotten almost a free pass. They have been allowed to utter misleading
statements and even outright falsehoods with little or no notice. By contrast, Gore's comments
have been fly-specked and every inconsistency trumpeted to support the media's 'theme'
- reinforced by Republicans - that Gore is an inveterate liar." [see "Protecting Bush-Cheney."]


 Zogby: Pollster for sale
  Says he'll take impeachment poll -  if bucks are right


Zogby asked Americans in June if they would support impeaching Bush if it were proved
he misled us about his reasons for going to war in Iraq.  42 percent said "Yes!"

The day the poll was released, Zogby was on Keith Olbermann. When asked whether he would
raise the question again, he said: "We'll test it periodically, probably in a month from now.
Again, no-one is really talking about it, but it is a good barometric reading."
Zogby did not poll on impeachment again.

Hey Zogby, how much would it cost to get a 60% impeachment figure from you?


Subject: snotty stalker

Do you have any clue where New Orleans is on that map?

Yeah, actually I'm pretty good with a map.
Do you have a clue what good manners are?

Rita certainly isn't "aiming" for New Orleans, unless NO recently moved to Texas.

I'm sure New Orleans feels better with your "guarantee" that they will remain dry.

Rita Raining on New Orleans


Nice to see that your accuracy hasn't improved since you declared
that a tsunami was headed for New Orleans.

So those flooding pictures on TV were all fake?
Asshole, *I* didn't say a 25-foot surge was going to drown New Orleans.
USA Today, Sept 21, headline on Page 2B
"25-foot wall of water caused major destruction"

I realize that sensationalism is your game, but a little accuracy couldn't hurt.

Go suck a Bush male prostitute.


...a Democrat with guns?
...or savvy poker player?

Trust me, if I had no guns, I'd make a big-ass sign that said,
"Watch your ass because I have guns."

Since I have guns, no sign is needed.

Bart's Law Number 11
A man with a Glock and a kind word
can get more than a man with just a kind word.

 The Slime Artist
 Et Tu, Greg Palast?
     by George Galloway, MP


Until a couple of days ago I hadn't heard of Greg Palast in years, the man who claims to have
beenpursuing me with questions for two months. He has never phoned, written, emailed or made
any other contact with me, which is curiously reminiscent of the behavior of the US Senate committee.
Having now forced myself to look at his pernicious writing, it seems like the deranged ramblings
you might expect to find pushed out from under the door of a locked ward.  He claims to be a
journalist. He clearly doesn't get much work.

Palast conflates meetings, truths and half-truths, statements taken out of context to produce a
toxic smear which would be actionable in the country he claims to work in, my country.
How many times do I have to respond to the ravings of guttersnipes?

If I had been guilty of what Palast alleges I'd be sitting not in the House of Commons but a prison cell!
Let that be an end to it because I'm sure the public is even more tired and bemused than I am.

Crawl back under your rock, Mr Palast!

I tried to get to the bottom of this but this feud has been going on a while
and I don't have time to go back to where it all began to see what happened.


All the women wanted Billy...

Please visit our erotic sponsors

Subject: Der Monkey in Chief


It suddenly occurred to me while watching a clip of his New Orleans "jest tryin' to save my legacy"
pack of lies speech, that  the stupid-but-pleased expression that sometimes crosses dubyas face does so
after he successfully completes a FULL SENTENCE in one of his attempts to speak English.

I see some fellow readers are becoming stressed again, thus a marked increase in Bart Bashing.
You do not have an easy job, dude.

Kat in Lake Worth-less

Did you hear how I faked the New Orleans flood?
Pascal says I made all that up.


Subject: Somalia

Somalia was a relief mission when HWB sent US soldiers.
The mission CHANGED to nation building during Clinton's presidency.

You imply Clinton changed it - that's not true.
Bush sent food, bad guys stole the food, so the food had to be defensed.

Armored vehicles weren't sent in because US politicians didn't want to send the message of "escalating things."

So that's the reason the men died?
Because Bush didn't want things to "appear?"

I don't know why you insist on worshipping the Clintons.
Somalia was a mistake. Clinton was in charge, so he gets the blame.

Your "worshipping" characterization is inaccurate.
If you want more of the BFEE, then vote against the only person who can defeat them.

Hillary is now being called out by Cindy Sheehan. Deservedly so.

I haven't heard that, but if it's true, Cindy need to pick her battles better.

I couldn't believe it when you praised Hillary's poker like tactics in regards to her stance on the war.

If you want more of the BFEE, then vote against the only person who can defeat them.

Every politician in D.C. has an OBLIGATION to do whatever they can to help our soldiers.
Hillary should be calling for W to resign.


Sure, why bring down the BFEE if Mike's not happy?
Maybe the Democrats should form a third party called "We hate Hillary"
and take the suspense out of 2008 right now?



"I don't think the president ever talked about putting a cap on the salaries of the CEOs
of Halliburton and the other companies . . . who are getting all these contracts. This president,
who never met an earmark he wouldn't approve or a millionaire's tax cut he wouldn't promote,
decided to slash wages for the least of us and the most vulnerable."
     --John Edwards, (D-Quitter) on Dubya paying minimum wage for hurricane relief,    Link


 Subject: China not communist

I live in China, if they are commies I am an artichoke.
Joel in China

Joel, when did the comminust regime fall?
And why haven't we heard about it?



Subject: protest in Humboldt County

There will be a anti-war protest here in Humboldt County, CA
(Eureka/Arcata/Garberville) this Saturday, (9/24) for those who can't make it down to San Francisco.

It will begin 11:00 am at the Humboldt County Courthouse in Eureka!

Humboldt County

Dude, when is your harvest?


Click for more info

Bruce Yurgil - in person!
At a booth in Jefferson Park, San Francisco, this Saturday.
That is where the march ends up and the rally begins.

 Download and print your own protest posters 
   If you can't get to DC or LA or SF and you need a anti-Bush protest sign...

   Link  to get poster-quality 1.5 Meg  downloads

    (Don't download these to reproduce - they're tiny and not poster-worthy)   Click on the link

...plus Worst President Ever by squeakywheel graphics and Making a Killing by c@

 It's possible the just-waking whore media might like a story about Bush unrest in the streets.
 Copy these 1.5 meg PDF's to a CD and take that CD to Kinko's.
 Have them print as many signs as you have friends to carry them.
 Ask Kinkos for sticks or tubes to hold the signs, too.

 Years from now, when your grandkids ask,
"What did you do to stop the BFEE when Dubya was on his killing spree?"
 you can pull these old posters out of the closet.

Subject: going to the DC rally

Hey Bart,

I'll be driving up from Myrtle Beach, SC.
If someone needs a lift, feel free to give out my email address.


 September 11th,
 His bloody Iraq quagmire,
 his double Katrina bungle...

 What does it take to get you into the streets?



is a


...and the BFEE is making a

...with Bush's bloody quagmire.

Join the tens of thousands
on September 24
Who Will Call for Impeachment

In San Francisco

We will be there at 10 AM, an hour before the protest.
if bartcop people want to help or just get first dibs on the posters,
be there 10 AM.

Zoomable Map

We need official San Fran bartcop photographers

we need pix of the posters being assembled in each city as well as
general shots of people with the posters.
if it isn't someone's official job, it might not get done at all!
squeakywheel neal

In Los Angeles

We will be there at 11 AM, an hour before the protest.
if bartcop people want to help or just get first dibs on the posters, be there 11 AM.
Zoomable Map

We need official Los Angeles bartcop photographers

we need pix of the posters being assembled in each city as well as
general shots of people with the posters.
if it isn't someone's official job, it might not get done at all!
squeakywheel neal

In Washington DC

Zoomable Map

We are going to arrive at the Ellipse at around 7 AM
and set up near the corner of 17th St. NW and Constitution Ave. NW.
We will be there at least until the rally starts at 11:30.
To help Friday night or early Saturday morning,
  contact super_steve_1234@yahoo.com
Steve needs help stapling signs to sticks, etc.

Steve will hold back some signs
for people who say, "I read bartcop"
but get there early so he can give all the signs away.

BIG Protest March

Sept 24, 2005

March with Cindy Sheehan in DC

We had some signs made.

         Those are our "Worst president ever" signs

We have reached our goal!

Now we know the printers will get paid :)

Bring a camera, but don't send every sign picture you take.
Send your best sign pictures to  bartcop-images@bartcop.com


 Subject: donation

Howdy Bart -
Been a while, but I scraped together a little extra change.
Can you send me a WPE bumper sticker?

I gave one to my brother, and now my other brother is jealous and wants one too!
Mad as hell,

You can donate with PayPal...or  snail mail.

 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

  Click  Here  to subscribe or donate



Please click on our sponsors

Bush allies keeping you from reading  bartcop.com at work?

Start surfing anonymously
by entering bartcop.com   HERE

There's too much at stake.
We can't let the bastards win

Subject: Poppy the prick

On October 13, 1993, Bush expressed concern that the humanitarian mission to Somalia
that he had launched nearly a year earlier was being "messed up" by the Clinton administration.

"If you're going to put somebody else's son or daughter into harm's way,
into battle, you've got to know what the mission is, how they are going to do it,
and how they're going to get out of there."

Bush's comments appeared to violate his earlier pledge not to publicly criticize Clinton
during his first year in office. [The New York Times, 10/14/93; The Boston Globe, 10/23/93]


 San Fran pot club owners seek regulation
  Jason Beck, pot club owner, would welcome
   stricter regulation of the herbal business


For years, Jason Beck and his fellow merchants tried to hold up certain standards,
to ensure the good faith of their clients and neighbors. But then a bunch of newcomers
invaded the market, with no heed for tradition. They threatened to tarnish the entire industry.

Clearly, I'm living in the wrong state.


 Drunk Monkey


Family sources have told how Dubya was caught drinking by Pickles at his fake ranch.
Laura privately warned her husband against "falling off the wagon" and vowed to travel
with him more often so that she can keep an eye on Dubya, the sources add.

"When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot," said one insider.
"He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of whiskey and tossed it back. Pickles shouted: "Stop George!"

"Laura gave him an ultimatum before, 'It's Jim Beam or me.' She doesn't want to replay
that nightmare ÷ especially now when it's such tough going for her husband."


If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When the levee breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago...
Going to Chicago...
Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down....

To: Icavedin

Subject: Clinton

Dear Icavedin,

Monday, I shared with you my long and boring speech setting out what needs to be said and done
at this critical moment for our country. Today, in that same spirit of clarity and conviction, ha ha
I want to tell you how I will vote on John Roberts.

I will vote against this vitally important nomination.

John Kerry

John, WTF difference does your vote make?
Your allies have already confirmed the woman-hating bastard.

By the way, thanks for showing up to work today.
You were scheduled to work the summer of 2004 but you never f-ing showed up.

Burger King wouldn't let you show up a year late for work - why should we?


Get six CDs (the last three shows) delivered for just $24.

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"I could stand up here and talk for hours about ineptitude, stupidity, blame, in-e-qual-i-ty,
global warming, the dangerous destruction of the wetlands. We're surrounded by disasters!
The war, the hurricane, the Fox News. I get so depressed! I got a letter from the GOP,
thanking me for supporting Bush. I did what any self-respecting American of integrity
and class would do, I wrote "Go [bleep] yourself!" I sent it back! Postage due!" "
    --Bette Midler, no longer in love with her precious Georgie-Wargie?    Link

 Hey, Bette!
 Why don't you and Neil Young and Rosie O'Donnell get together and have a group cry?
 Maybe next time you'll donate to the Democrats instead of the Fascists goons?


Cat 5 Rita roars towards land
 Bush will be quick to help white Texans


Hurricane Rita turned into a mega-storm as it hurtled across the Gulf of Mexico,
forcing crews to abandon oil platforms and thousands of people to flee the Texas coast.


Marty's Entertainment Page

 Random thought...

 Watching Jon Stewart, I see has new actors helping him on his show now,
 because several of his best performers have springboarded up to greater riches.

 ...which means Jon Stewart has created more jobs than Der Monkey.


Subject: BCR Show 81

Bart, the show was great.
The stand-up comic material was sooo funny!

That was Earthquake - the funniest guy I've heard in a long time.

Your O.J./back room abortion analogy had me laughing out loud.
Best show I've heard.  Thanx, I so needed to laugh today.
Mrs. J

Mrs. J, thanks for that.
You're the third person who wrote.


Call the

...as heard on BCR 81

Put your comments on the next radio show.

You have two minutes to record your message.

 Green Tea Stops Alzheimer's in Mice
  I'm going to outlive everybody


An ingredient in green tea has prevented Alzheimer's brain damage in mice, researchers report.
The compound, called EGCG, decreased production of the protein beta-amyloid, which accumulates
in the brains of Alzheimer's patients and causes nerve damage and memory loss.

"The findings suggest that a concentrated component of green tea can decrease brain beta-amyloid
plaque formation," senior researcher Dr. Jun Tan, director of the Neuroimmunology Laboratory at
the University of South Florida's Silver Child Development Center, said in a prepared statement.


 Shirley confirms it


Garbage will split after their Australian tour this month.
Shirley confirmed the band will take an indefinite "hiatus" after the Australian tour ends.

"We've not stopped for 10 years," she said in Melbourne yesterday.

"We always swore if it wasn't 100 per cent fun we'd stop it. So that's what we've decided to do.
"We're tired, this is becoming hard, we should stop right now."

 Shirley denies it


Shirley Manson says Garbage is on a break, but it is not planning to split up.
"We have discussed this and I don't think anybody is interested in breaking up," she said.


 Chinaco 30-year tequila

This Chinaco is not 30 years old.
It's aged seven years instead of the usual 3-4.

Aged more than twice as long the family's traditional Añejo, the tequila boasts fruit, floral,
oak and butterscotch flavors, and an agave and caramel finish. Each limited-edition bottle
is hand numbered and signed by Gonzalez, and is packaged in a one-of-a-kind, handmade box
featuring Mexican Emperor Maximillian in full Chinaco battle dress.

Only 900 bottles will be available in the United States.
Chinaco 30th Anniversary Añejo Tequila is available in selected locations.

I'm going to open my bottle today (Thursday) when I record the opening segment for BCR 81.


 Subject: re: Random thought

You know, it's hilarious watching you twitch with verbal convulsions on nearly a daily basis on the internet.

Thank you. Bartcop.com is primarily a comedy website.

But this time, you've outdone yourself.  You wrote, 
> "Under Bush, we've lost an American city for the first time."
Does that mean Bush called up a hurricane to wipe out New Orleans and part of the Gulf Coast?
Is that what you're saying?  If so, you're either stupid or insane.

No, only an idiot would think Bush could "call up" a hurricane.
Funny that you'd see something that stupid in an intelligent sentence.
Could your parents not afford to educate you?.

Let me ask you something honestly...what responsibility did the DEMOCRAT governor of Louisiana,
Kathleen Blanco, have to the citizens of New Orleans?  What responsibility did the DEMOCRAT mayor
of New Orleans have to those same people?  What about the evacuation plan that could have been
implemented 24 hours earlier, but wasn't, by the incompetent Governor Blanco (D) Louisiana?

Monkey, you can't have it both ways.
Your president calls this the biggest storm in American history.
It pretty much wiped out city and state resources.
The question is - why was Bush playing guitar and playing golf?
The fedeal resources weren't hit at all - but Bush was on another vacation just like he was when

Condi read the PDM that said "Osama determined to strike inside the US" and Bush did nothing.

What leftists are saying about racism somehow being responsible for the death toll and slow rescue
operations is absolutely appalling.

Only a Monkey would call consider the truth "appalling."

Using this to further a political cause is more than outrageous.

Bush's politics caused this disaster, and now that people are dead,
you think we should remain silent about Bush's greedy decisions?

If you're so goddamned smart, what would you have done differently as president?

ha ha
I never said I was smart - I said I was smarter than your Monkey in the White House.

I would not have cut the funding for the levees the way Bush did.
    Bush stole that money to finance to his bloody quagmire and his oil company bonuses.
After the disaster struck, Bush went on vacation again, instead of doing his f-ing job.

On 9-11, Bush froze like a scared little boy.

"I stared into space while our jet fighters
  waited for attack orders that never came."

 After Katrina, Bush played guitar while
 people were dying from a lack of water.

   "Look Pickles, I'm a gee-tar player!!"

That was a really stupid question, "What would you have done differently?"

 ...even for a Monkey.


 I got a surprise

 In my PO Box was a note from Claven:
You have a package at the PO that won't fit in our PO lockers.

I wasn't expecting anything super large, so I got paranoid...

Turns out, it's from my good friend super_steve_1234@yahoo.com
 It was two of the 9/24 posters.


 The quality is amazing!
 Super_Steve, that's great work!


 Today's oil theft total

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is  $66.23 $67.53 a barrel
makes $135,060,000  Bush stole just yesterday

Republicans and religio-crazies
say losing thousands of soldiers in
Bush's bloody war is acceptable.

1906  1910 have died for Bush greed,
four more since yesterday


 TV Stuff

 Mrs. Bart watched Big Brother Tuesday night.
 If I understand the rules, the people in the house are cut off from all news.

 Tuesday, the final two emerged after 70 days (?) and hugged their families.

 ...what's it like to have a loved one look you in the eye and say,
 "Our Murder Monkey let New Orleans drown while he played f-ing golf?"

 JD won Rock Star/INXS

 Koresh, ...I wish I was a cat.


 Subject: I have subscribed

Rush (the band) BLOWS U2 and the lame-ass posers in Led Zeppelin AWAY!
ha ha.

Bart, the Jews didn't start--and don't maintain--Israel in order to "save souls."
They did so and do so to save LIVES.   During Hitler, Jews didn't have anywhere to go.
(Recall the ship of Jews that made it all the way to Americ and was turned away,
then went to England and was turned away, and then had to return to Nazi-Occupied Europe...
they were taken off the boat and sent straight to the ovens.)

So, you're saying there was a valid reason in 1947 - I have no problem with that.
But why live with the religiously-insane suicide bombers in 2005?

Even the Jewish religion says that Israel is an illegitimate nation.
But Jews didn't start Israel to appease the invisibile cloud being.
They started Israel so no other nation would be able to massacre them again.

Dude, who would massacre them in Oklahoma?

...thanks for the subscription.


|Checkmate in 2 days:
Fire George on 9/24


Spread the word: www.firegeorge.org

Bushville, DC and the 9/24 March will join in an

Act of Nonviolent Civil Disobedience

Click Here to Search Bartcop

 New Angie Harmon show sucks



"Inconceivable" is a misconceived soap set in a fertility clinic where the staffers

are all improbably fetching and anything that can possibly go wrong does.
This show might be better titled "Firing Blanks."

 ha ha



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                          Garbage's last US show 9-15-05
                    Who has a soundboard of this show?


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