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 Thursday     April 20, 2006         Volume 1749 - The De-sider

Quote of the Day

"It's not always the nuns that get raped. 
  Sometimes the strippers get raped."   
    -- FOX's Herendo Revolver, on the Duke case,  Link


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Shame on WaHoPo
Our New Gettysburg 
Worst President Ever
In Survival Mode 
Crisis Without Equal  
Oil Price vs Value 
Stop GOP Pedophelia
Tom Eats Placenta? 
Teri Hatcher Apology


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"In a free society with working, honest public mechanisms, it would be nigh impossible to elect 
  an imbecile sock puppet fronting for a latter day nazi party cabal. But it happened here in 1980, 
  1988, 2000 and 2004. Why? Corruption. Corporate money. Media consolidation. Media fraud. 
  Vote fraud. Stupid voters. Lazy voters. All based in corporate and corrupt money; corrupt, 
  bribable congresshumans; dishonest pols (Rove, etc.); and, most of all, a servile fascist media. 
  Perhaps the demise of this piece of shit nation is best."  
      -- jtree,   Link

 jtree, you might not have long to wait


Shame on the Post's Editorial Page
  by Robert Parry  as seen on consortiumnews.com


As arguably the most influential newspaper in the nation's capital, the Post might have been expected
to encourage a healthy pre-war debate that reflected diverse opinions from experts in the fields of government, 
diplomacy, academia, the military and the broader American public. War, after all, is not a trivial matter.

Instead, the Post's editorial section served as a kind of pro-war bulletin board, posting neoconservative 
manifestos attesting to the wisdom of invading Iraq and tacking up harsh indictments of Americans who 
dissented from George W. Bush's war plans.

Yet what is perhaps most amazing is that even now - after all that's been learned about Bush's Iraq War 
deceptions - the Post's editorial page continues to act as the administration's hall monitor for the war, 
trying to keep the American people and especially Washington insiders in line.

This month, the Post published two more editorials disparaging critics of the Iraq War. One resumed the 
near-three-year-old campaign to tear down former Joe Wilson for challenging "twisted" pre-war intelligence 
on Iraq; a second scolded retired generals for speaking out against Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

I'm so old, I remember when the Washington Post printed the facts and the truth.
Now they print whatever Karl Rove tells them to print.

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the Internet


New Orleans is our Gettysburg
 saw it on blackcommentator.com



This Saturday's elections in New Orleans represent yet another element of the vast crime committed 
against Black America.  With as many as 300,000 residents, overwhelmingly African American, strewn 
about the country in government-engineered exile, the elections are an insult to the very idea of democracy, 
and to the dignity of all Black people.

This farcical exercise in faux democracy will no doubt be followed by corporate media declarations that 
New Orleans is returning to "normalcy" - the same term that the media bandied about when the city held
a shrunken Mardi Gras, in February.

Behind that bland word, "normalcy," lies a wish list and narrative that sees white rule as normative in America
- the way things should be - and Black electoral power as an aberration... 

Does the name "New Orleans" even come up once a week in the news? And like the author says, 
when it does come up, you always see "back to normal," while blacks are strewn everywhere and
the white land-snatchers are busy with their coastal casino construction plans.

Like with Iraq and Iran, if people of color are on land that Bush wants to possess, they need to have
a military superpower or prepare to meet their maker because that greedy Bush bastard plays hard ball.

Wars, hurricanes and 9-11 all present money-making opportunities for the BFEE.
Peace puts nothing in their pocket.


Worst President Ever
 Leading historians agree on that


George W. Bush is in serious contention for the title of worst ever. In early 2004, an informal survey of 
415 historians conducted by the nonpartisan History News Network found that eighty-one percent 
considered the Bush administration a "failure." Among those who called Bush a success, many gave Bush
high marks only for his ability to mobilize public support and get Congress to go along with what one 
historian called the administration's "pursuit of disastrous policies." In fact, roughly one in ten of those 
who called Bush a success was being facetious, rating him only as the best president since Bill Clinton
-- a category in which Bush is the only contestant.

The lopsided decision of historians should give everyone pause. 


Subject: yesterday's Monkey Mail

That ditto-monkey wrote:

> you're still wondering why ya'll can't keep the oval office for more than one term

Which explains President Dole.

 ha ha



"It almost makes me want to run for office. Almost"  
    -- The Cheney Monster, on being praised by super-rich Republican donors  Link

"I would say he's the most hated and dangerous person in the world."  
    -- Mike Yanasak, a retired Vietnam veteran, carrying a "Terrorist in Chief" sign,  Link


"...tell me again why I must invade Iran."

Did you hear what Tony Soprano said to his shrink about Rick Santorum?

It was sooo perfect, and sooo true.

It'll be in BCR 92.


Subject: The two most insane handjobs on the planet?

Bartcop, you need to be a bit more circumspect about the people and leadership of other nations.
How the hell do you know anything about Iran?  
Everything you and I are told is filtered through the corporate propaganda machine.

Mike, the Santa Barbara attorney 

Mike, I don't know much about Iran, other than the reports that their handjob is
begging our handjob to invade them, kill their leaders and steal their oil...

...and our handjob is brave enough to do it, with other people's kids. 


Put your dot.com on Bartcop Radio

If you don't use  free advertising
you don't want more readers.

Bush lovers welcome to call
to get spanked, not advertise


Monkey in Survival Mode
 Hitler called it "Bunkered down"


One of Bolten's biggest challenges will be to find ways to open up Bush to new ideas and to the opinions 
of people who are not longtime Bush confidants. (Good luck with that.) On that score, people are dubious.
Bush prefers a tight circle of loyalists and does not welcome dissenters. As Bush put it on Monday, in asserting 
that he would not fire Rumsfeld, "I'm the decider, and I decide what's best."  

Rove's return to a role that closely mirrors that which he played in Bush's first term demonstrates how much 
Bush has now shifted to survival mode -- and how far events have pushed him from the grand ambitions 
with which he opened his second term just 15 months ago.


Visit  funnytimes.com

Stop Republican Pedophelia
 Women reject them, so they kidnap kids


Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters. 
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. 

It's a very long list....


Subject: big party in the Nevada desert

Hey Bart,
Have you heard about the test in Nevada scheduled for June 2nd?  
They are planning to explode a device with 1.5 MILLION tons of TNT.  

Now, there is NO delivery system in the world that can deliver that much weight in one trip.  
As Randi Rhodes said, this can only mean that they are testing the possibility of using tactical nukes 
of this power to hit underground targets in Iran.  They want to see how deep the damage from the blast will go.

Leland, I'm so concerned about that, I might attend.
We have some FF miles that will expire in June.

Where, exactly, will the blast take place?
Are there any hotels nearby?


Contest - how many faces can you identify?
Use the numbers.

The first person (cont US only) to get them all right wins a pound of
the South's Finest Chocolate - the best chocolate you'll ever taste.

Send your answers Here

So far, nobody has made it thru the first seven, so I'll give you a start:

1. Chuck Heston
2. Joe McCarthy
3. Ann Coulter
4. Tom DeLay
5. Rasputin
6. Baghdad Bob
7. Jacques Chirac
8. Prescott's partner Adolph
9. Kenny Boy Lay
10. Poppy's partner Saddam
11. Barbara Bush
12. Bill Gates (not shown, he demanded a fee)

This is really good chocolate.

Song Writing

It's a mystery (to me, anyway) why good song writers lose their talent.
As always, Example #1 is Paul McCartney.  McCartney's latest work is so awful, 
it makes you wonder if John Lennon was carrying him all those years ago.

But Paul's not alone. When's the last time you heard a good, new song from Daltrey and Townsend, 
Richards and Jagger, Gilmore or Waters, Page or Plant, Slash and Axl, Springsteen, Fleetwood Mac, 
Rod Stewart, AC/DC, The Eagles, Billy Gibbons, Greg Allman, Bob Seger, Queen or Clapton?

Springsteen, Clapton, Stewart and others have chosen to raid the classics for their latest works, 
but what happened to their proven ability to write great songs?

And, maybe it's just sexism in rock n roll, but how many good female song writers have their been?
Carole King pops into my head (from 30 years ago) but where are the others? 
Can you name a woman with a string of song writing hits?  
Maybe Shania Twain would qualify, but that's only semi-rock n roll. 

Could the answer be as simple as  ...testosterone?

Is a young man's insatiable sex drive partly responsible for writing a good rock song?
Ask most rockers and they'll tell you they got into the business to score with the chicks.
Is sex drive directly related to song writing ability?

And if that's true - what explains U2?

After 25 years, they should be producing weepy ballads and "tributes" to old geezers.
Instead, they're still rocking the world with new, vibrant songs that really pump the adrenaline.
In almost every interview, when asked that their goals are, they reply,
"We don't want to be a band that sucks," rightly implying that the others (now, anyway) do.

Why have Bono and the Edge managed to not suck?
How have they avoided the trap that got alllllllll the others?


"Bush is great!
Clinton's cock!
Bush is great!

Clinton's cock!"

Crisis Almost Without Equal 


Let's assume that we have George Bush to kick around for another almost-three-years. 
How worried should we be about the possible damage he might inflict -- and what can the press do about it?
Consider Thomas Friedman's column in The New York Whore Times today, and its implications. 

Friedman, who still supports the Iraq war, opens by declaring that given a choice between a nuclear Iran 
and an attack on that country engineered by the White House, he would choose the former. That's how little 
he trusts the BFEE.  He cites "the level of incompetence that the Bush team has displayed in Iraq, and its refusal
to acknowledge any mistakes or remove those who made them."

But then he goes on: "I look at the Bush national security officials much the way I look at drunken drivers. 
I just want to take away their foreign policy driver's licenses for the next three years. Sorry, boys and girls, 
you have to stay home now -- or take a taxi. ... You will not be driving alone. Not with my car."


The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on  bartcop.com

Rove on the Chopping Block?
 Grand Jury hears evidence on his guilty ass


Just as the news broke Wednesday about Scottie the Underbear and Karl Rove, Fitzgerald met with 
the grand jury hearing evidence in the CIA leak case and introduced additional evidence against Rove, 
attorneys and other US officials close to the investigation said.

The grand jury session in federal court in Washington, DC, sources close to the case said, was the first time
this year that Fitz told the jurors that he would soon present them with a list of criminal charges
he intends to file against Rove in hopes of having them return a multi-count indictment against Rove.

Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, confirmed that Rove remains a "subject" of Fitzgerald's two-year-old probe.

"Mr. Rove is still a subject of the investigation," Luskin said. In a previous interview, Luskin asserted
that Rove would not be indicted by Fitzgerald, but he was unwilling to make that prediction again Wednesday.

Bush is going to pardon these bastards before the trial and the sorry-ass Democrats will be shocked!
They'll issue press releases saying they are "disapppointed" that Bush pardoned everyone before
the truth about their worldwide crime spree could be told to the voters.. 

If they would consider an ounce of prevention, they could avoid acting all shocked when he does that.
Put him on notice right now that he can pardon anybody he wants - that's the law.

But if he pardons anybody before their trial, then they should promise to shut down the government
until impeachment hearings are underway and, goddammit, they should stick to that as if they had balls.

Bush is a cowardly little shit who's always had everything handed to him and he's always had Poppy
to bail him out. This cycle need to be broken before we lose another 2378 soldiers.

What will it take to wake up the cowardly Democrats?  Bush's approval is at 36 percent!
Two-thirds of the country disapproves of his crimes, so step up and stop him.

     "We don't want truculentnessity - we are Dubya's friends..."


"Help!  They're going to eat me!
This crazy bitch poured BBQ sauce on my leg!!"

Subject: your 'Blood for Oil' section

Hi Bart,
Your blood for oil section inspired me to some grisly math today.

The average barrel of oil in the US holds appx. 42 gallons (55 gallon drum)
The average human being holds 1.5 gallons of blood +/-
2378 soldiers have been tragically lost
2378 x 1.5 = 3567 gallons of blood / 42 = 84.93 barrels
That's nearly 85 flag draped barrels, the cost is incalculable.
My machine won't go high enough for me to determine the number of barrels if I included the Iraqis killed.



"This joke grows sicker by the day. The ones who belong in jail are the accuser, the DA, 
  and whatever black buffoons/ Al Sharpton Wanna-bes are down there stoking race hatred. 
  An obvious fraud. I bet the woman comes clean soon, now that the persecution has been 
  narrowed down to two individual faces, obviously innocent boys, with families."  
     -- iago beets, a Bush fan, dismissing the black accuser in the Duke rape case
         with a typical  "We know how those niggers lie" Republican attitude.     Link


Subject: 9-11 conspiracies


Common sense is too often wrong.  Common sense tells us that when struck by a high-powered rifle slug, 
the human head recoils away from the bullet.  But the truth is actually the opposite. Common sense tells us 
that photographs of astronauts on the airless-Moon should also show bright stars in the background. 
But again common sense is wrong.

The problem with most conspiracy theories is that they are so full of common sense that they no longer
have any room for rational, logical analysis.

Here are some logical, reasonable questions that the 9/11 conspiracy buffs either fail or choose not to ask:

I didn't have time to get heavy into each question,
but I tried to play Devil's Advocate on a few.


Subject: Best tasting chicken ever

I love chicken. But we only have one place in town and it sucks. 
I have a recipe for Mrs. Bart that tastes better than ANY fried chicken. 
Everyone uses my recipe!! 
I am sending it to you just in case you want to say yummm.
 Sherry B

Sherry, I'll have to try that.  Did you know I have a degree in food? 
You have to, to own a restaurant in K-Drag.

Check out my recipe for Train Station Fried Chicken and the "funny" story.
What's more fun than cooking drunk?

"War is fun drunk!"


'Oil Price Is Lower Than Value' 

  "I think just like Boosh." 


Wading into oil politics for the first time, Iran's handjob president said Wednesday 
that crude oil prices — now at record levels — still are below their true value. 

"The global oil price has not reached its real value yet. The products derived from crude oil 
are sold at prices dozens of times higher than those charged by oil-producing countries," 
state-run Tehran radio quoted Ahandjob as saying.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Bush approval ratings 


Bush has a positive approval rating in just four  backwards, undeveloped states:
Utah, Idaho, Wyoming and Nebraska.

The other 46 states agree with what we've been saying for years at  bartcop.com
Bush is a crooked, incompetent bastard/thief who's hobbies are murder and torture.


If you see a star in an anti-Bush or pro-peace shirt,
please send that in.

Subject: TV characters and rape 

Bart, you asked:

> ..in the history of TV, has any other female lead in a show ever been raped?

Veronica Mars isn't breaking any new ground.

Oh, you've seen the show?

"All in the Family" had it happen to Edith Bunker 30 years ago.
And, while it wasn't at all played for laughs in that episode, AITF was a comedy.

Hmmm…maybe you are a little too in love with today's current, crappy, un-original TV programming.
But keep swinging the hammer…I'm not looking for a monkey over this.

Jim in Palm Beach

Jim, you are in error.
Edith was almost raped - by an actor named David Dukes.


Actor David Dukes, on filming the scene where he attempts to rape 'Edith Bunker' -- 

"There was a moment when I did something, I tore her dress or something, to where 
it was clear that I am not going to be a funny rapist and the audience went 'ahhhh.' 

And when 400 people do that it's a big sound, and I just looked at Jean and it was like,
'Jesus God, what's happening?' Because the audience just hated me, hated me. 
And I had no idea what I was stepping into."

Dukes said the rest of his life, people came up to him 
saying they remembered him for what he almost did to "Edith."

...but what's with the snarky attitude?


Your "maybe you are a little too in love with today's crappy TV programming," line.
What does that mean? 
Were those words meant to belittle my tastes?
Can I get a list of the classy stuff you, with your superior taste, enjoy?

What joy do you get in trashing today's TV programming?
There are bad web sites - does that make all web sites bad?
There are bad movies - does that make all movies bad?
There are bad songs - does that make all songs bad?
There are bad people - does that make all people bad?

Even if I agree that most TV is crap, what is the movie average?
What is the song average?  Or the people average?

Nobody needs to like the shows I like, but I'm unable to see what you gain
by personally insulting me for having tastes that are different from yours.


Tom's Placenta Plans


Can't Act told GQ magazine, ''I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. 
Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there.''

But, it seems Tom may have bitten off more than he can chew with his bold declaration.
The interviewer pointed out that a placenta is rather large, so Tom replied: "OK, maybe I won't."

Hey, he says he does all his own stunts, remember?



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saw it on therandirhodesshow.com

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is$72.17 a barrel
makes $144,340,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps 3M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 5M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $70.82 a barrel
makes $360,850,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's a third of a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2377  2378 soldiers' lives

Latest data shows no soldiers killed in the last 24 hours.
Bush's whore media will spin this as "another important victory
for George W. Bush in his personal fight to save America."


Subject: yesterday's Monkey

What a maroon!  Clinton was in office for TWO terms.   
Just like a mud-slinging conservative to not be able to count.

He's an idiot.  You're not.  
Thanks for your hard work, Bart. 

Sorry to say that my donation to you went into my Camry's gas tank.  
Guess I better map a safe route to work on my bicycle.
Jeebus knows the price of gas is gonna put me outta business.



Big $$ Strike Set for May 1

Don't spend any money on May 1.



"The Durham dirt-bag case disgusts me to my core. Here, you have a drunken slut stripping whore 
  accusing men of raping her when there is absolutely no evidence of such a rape other than what 
  comes out of that filthy mouth of hers.  What kind of system do we have that anyone can scream rape 
  and not have to show her face, not answer to the public. And, yet, those she accuses are suddenly guilty 
  until they're proven innocent. This is all the product of the out-of-control lesbian feminist movement."  
       -- Michael Savage, who took the opposite side when the accuser was Paula Jones,  Link

Unlike everyone else who has an opinion on this case, I wasn't there.
Unlike everyone else who has an opinion on this case, I'm waiting for the evidence.


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Yahoo screws China Internet writer 
 At Yahoo, money means more than freedom? 


Yahoo may have helped Chinese police to identify an Internet writer who was subsequently jailed 
for four years for subversion in the third such case, an advocacy group for journalists said on Wednesday.

News implicating Yahoo in the imprisonment of Jiang Lijun in 2003 surfaced on the eve of a summit 
between Chinese President Who and President What in Washington.

It was the third such case involving the greedy bastards at Yahoo.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)


"The dumbest thing Bush could possibly do right now is fire Rumsfeld. 
  Either a forced resignation or a dismissal would effectively bring the Bush presidency to an end."
     -- John Podhoretz,   Link

So, thousands more men must be maimed or die to protect Bush's phoney legacy as a smart war hero?
That's fucking sick logic.

Join the military, kids.
Sacrifice your legs or your eyes or your life for Bush's phoney legacy!


Teri Hatcher gets Tabloid Apology
 She does not have sex with strangers in a van




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