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 Weekend-Monday  April 29-May 1, 2006   Volume 1755 - Pigboy Busted

Quote of the Day

"A full 10 seconds of silence passed after a 
  reporter asked Sleazy and Rumsfeld what the 
  intense secrecy and security surrounding their 
  visit to Iraq signified about the stability of the 
  country three years after the U.S.-led invasion. 
  Rice turned to Rumsfeld to provide the answer. 
  Rumsfeld glared at the reporter." 
    -- Glenn Kessler,    Link

 This is a point we've made many times.
 They crow about how "stable" Iraq is, yet every
 visit has to be a surprise, and is only revealed after 
 they've left the danger and are safely in the air.

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Pigboy Druggie Busted 
Target: Negroponte 
Mexico Legalizes Drugs? 
Powell Finds a Conscience 
Dead Bush Walking 
Dubai Jet Parts? 
Hideous Kinky 
Buchanan: Impeach
Anna Nicole Smith 


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Deployed and blogging - that's fauxnewschannel.com


"We're not going to win in 2006 by default. We're not going to win in 2006 by running out the clock.
 At the right moment, just when the Democrats start feeling their oats, they'll (Republicans) say
 'The Democrats don't support the troops' or 'They're not patriotic,' and all of a sudden the Democrats
 go back in their foxholes. It's a great victory for al-Qaida if they can get us to be so afraid to stand up
 for our system of government that we let the president get away with this."
     -- Russ Feingold, telling Democrats to stop snivelling  Link


Pigboy Busted for Drugs

              Charged with being a Fraud, but we've known that for a decade


Prosecutors accuse him of "doctor shopping," or illegally deceiving multiple doctors to receive overlapping prescriptions.
Der Pigboy ate about 2,000 painkillers, prescribed by four doctors in six months, at a pharmacy near his Palm Beach mansion.

Limbaugh pleaded not guilty Friday to a charge of fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions. Though he steadfastly
denies reality, the charge will be dismissed in 18 months if Limbaugh complies with court guidelines, his lawyer Roy Black said.


"Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs,
pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. ... And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs,
they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up," Limbaugh said
on his short-lived television show (that the free market said was no good,) on October 5, 1995.

As always, Rush didn't mean what he said. He used to be Mr. Tough-on-Crime, but now
that Der Pigboy has become a "victim" of drugs, he thinks drug abusers should be coddled.


Target: Negroponte & Iran
  by Robert Parry  as seen on  consortiumnews.com


In a replay of the Iraqi WMD charade, neoconservative supporters of George W. Bush are pushing
the U.S. intelligence community to take a more alarmist view about Iran's nuclear program - only this time,
the nation's top spy John Negroponte is resisting the pressure unlike former CIA chief George Tenet.

Tenet joined in Bush's hyping of the WMD evidence about Iraq - famously telling the President that the case
was a "slam dunk." But Negroponte is defying hardliners who want a worst-case scenario on Iran's capabilities.
Instead, he is citing Iran's limited progress in refining uranium and their use of a cascade of only 164 centrifuges.

"According to the experts that I consult, achieving — getting 164 centrifuges to work is still a long way from
having the capacity to manufacture sufficient fissile material for a nuclear weapon," Negroponte told NBC on April 20.

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site in the Internet


Mexico Legalizes Drugs
 Sanity from South of the Border?


Mexico's Congress approved a bill Friday decriminalizing possession of small amounts of marijuana,
ecstasy, cocaine and heroin for personal use - a measure sure to raise questions in Washington about
Mexico's commitment to the war on drugs.  The last step is President Fox, who is expected to sign it.

Supporters said the law would let police focus on drug smuggling, rather than on busting casual users.

Common sense and sanity towards drug laws?
We can't have that - unless a GOP icon gets caught.


Impeach Bush if he Attacks Iran
 by  Pat Buchanan

"We hate him, too."


Many Democrats now concede they failed the nation when they took Bush at his word that Iraq was an
intolerable threat that could be dealt with only by an invasion. Now, Bush and the War Party are telling us
the same thing about Iran. And the Congress is conducting itself in the same contemptible and cowardly way.

It is time for Congress to tell President Bush directly that he has no authority to go to war on Iran and to
launch such a war would be an impeachable offense. Or, if they so conclude, Congress should share full
responsibility by granting him that authority after it has held hearings and told the people why we have no
other choice than another Mideast war, with a nation four times as large as Iraq.


Protesting Bush's bloody quagmire Saturday in New York

Powell Finds his Conscience


Just back from Baghdad and eager to discuss promising developments, Sleazy found herself
knocked off message Sunday, forced to defend prewar planning and troop levels against an
unlikely critic — Colin Powell, her predecessor at the State Department.
For the Bush thugs, it was a rare instance of in-house dissenter going public.

On Rice's mind was the political breakthrough that had caused her and Rumsfeld to sneak
into Iraq like theives to cleared the way for formation of a national unity government.

Yet Powell sideswiped her by revisiting the question of whether the U.S. had a large enough
force to oust Saddam, steal his oil and then secure the peace.


Subject: Well...


I just have to answer this. Bush hates to "respond" (answer) questions, even those softballs
that could be pitched for any six year old, asked by the media supposedly for the public?

Maybe, just maybe, if Bush hadn't been given the White House by a partisan Supreme Court's illegal move,
he would appreciate the fact that it's not that he is above the people . . . the people are actually above him.
He is supposed to work for us.

Maybe, if Bush were to be made accountable for his crimes while in the White House, he would get to
really love to respond, because he would be on the same level as every other criminal in his administration,
and he would still be below those he is supposed to serve.

Spoiled rotten sociopath, how lucky can we be.
Thanks BartCop,
 Shirley S



DeLay toadie Denny Hastert (R-Sweaty Wrestler) gets out of a
Hydrogen car, left, as he prepares to board his gas-guzzling SUV
after his dog-and-pony show in DC to discuss BIG OIL's gas gouging.
Hastert and other GOP hypocrites drove off in the Hydrogen cars for the cameras
only to switch to their gas-guzzling SUVs to get back to the Capitol.


"Mitchell Wade, who has pleaded guilty to bribing Duke Cunningham, told the feds that a
"limousine would pick up Cunningham and a prostitute and take them" to the hospitality suite.
 The San Diego Union-Tribune suggested that "as many as a half a dozen other congressmen
 may have been involved in this" prostitution scandal."
      -- The Progress Report,   Link

I assume the Democrats are "above" using a sex scandal to score political points...


Subject: Rosie has learned her lesson

Rosie admitted on her blog that she'd made a mistake bashing Clinton.
She said she hadn't realized how horrible the alternative was.

Rosie is a good person.
She has a lot of clout and a lot of money and she uses it to help people, mostly kids.
You can see some of the positive things she has done on her blog, but a lot of it she does
because she thinks it is right and not because it will make her look good.
She's not perfect, and will always cop to her mistakes.


Carol, I can be persuaded to giver her another chance, but do you know what set me off?

Clinton never sent a man into battle who didn't come home, while Bush lied 2400 soldiers to death.(So far.)
Yet the military loves the Giggling Murderer and would shoot Clinton on sight if they ever got the chance.

Because Clinton tried to bring some honesty to the gays-in-the-military issue.

Some people say Clinton wasted his political capital trying to help gays - and that was a factor (along with race)
that helped launch the massive impeachment effort. In other words, Clinton was wounded while fighting HER battles
and Rosie stabbed him in the back for his troubles and that really pissed me off. 

She also used her "Clinton disgusts me" schtick to launch her stand-up comeback. 
That's not how you treat a guy who was injured fighting your battles but, since  bartcop.com is all about forgiveness, 
I'll begin to let it go ...starting today.

Thanks for the update.


"I have 40 years lying experience."

Get your two minutes on BartCop Radio

Bush lovers welcome to call
Spankings are free


WWJD Producer Gets Ugly Slurs
 WWJD  making Nazi bastards angry


Ava Lowery is a fifteen-year-old who lives in Alabama. She calls herself a peace activist, 
and for the past year, she's been producing her own short animations on her website, 
peacetakescourage.com. All in all, she's made about seventy of them, she says, 
and most of them oppose Bush and his Iraq War.

But she was unprepared for the viciousness of the negative feedback—especially the ugly sexual slurs 
similar to those that Cindy Sheehan has faced. (If you can't stand foul language, stop reading now.)

"It's people like you who need to fucking die and get raped while your corpse rots in the sun," 
said one e-mail Lowery shared with me. "Fuck you, I would jack off on your parents if I could. 
If you don't like the team, get out of the park. That means take ur small dick and get the fuck off 
of my homeland you faggot chocolate gulper."

It's like the monkey's only have one place to go when they feel lonely - Sex slurland.



Subject: Democrats

My name is Dave and I'm from Portland and I've written you before about your unfortunate habit
of printing Hillary bashers and constantly downing Dems. I'm glad you printed another letter where
Madame B questioned you about same Dem-bashing.

I love your response where it says, "Stop attacking each other and go after Republicans".
One of us is insane. It very well might be me, I'll grant you that, but do you really mean that?
You constantly criticize Dems yet you ask us, your readers, to stop attacking each other and go after Republicans?

I gotta go drink now, I can't take it anymore. I found this fine article titled The Victorious Opposition:
Why the Dems are doing better than you think. Please read it Bart, that's all I ask.

Anger at Dems has a time and place but not anymore,
 Dave in Portland, Oregon

Dave, that wasn't directed at the readers - it was for elected Democrats.
When I "attack" Democrats," it's for sleeping thru the Bush crime spree.
When Pelosi attacks Howard Dean, it's for telling the truth about the Bush crime spree.

Those are two very different things.



Hideous Kinky: The Pentagon


Imagine growing up in a family where every day, father raped daughter, mother tortured son,
brother abused brother, sister stole from sister, and the whole family murdered neighbors,
friends and passing strangers. Imagine the underlying assumptions about life that you would
adopt without question in such an atmosphere, how normal the most hideous depravity would seem.

(That's what we got last week) when the Washington Post outlined the Pentagon's plan to put
dirty war - by death squad, by snatch squad, by secret armies, subversion, torture and terrorism
- at the very heart of America's military philosophy. Not defense against declared enemies, not
deterrence of potential foes, but conducting "continuous" covert military operations in countries
"where the United States is not at war" is now the Pentagon's "highest priority," according to the
new "campaign plan for the global war on terror" issued by Donald Rumsfeld.


Subject: Vonnegut vs Dems - which has monopoly on infalability?

Bart, what did you mean when you wrote, "Kurt has no stranglehold on infallibility?"
Are you saying that Mr Vonnegut was wrong, and that Dems have not sold us out to corporate interests?
"the wolves are eating the sheep." Well there are some sheep eating us sheep right along with the wolves.
And that makes me more sick than being hunted just by the predators.


All I meant is that one person can't say they speak for all Democrats.
When Molly Ivins recently attacked Hillary, I'll bet 100 people sent that column to me,
as though I'm supposed to desert the Democratic front-runner, "because Molly Ivins said so."

Like most people, Molly and Kurt are smarter than me so I can learn from them.
But I'm not going to change how I think because someone else had an opinion.


Bush OKs Dubai Takeover of 9 Military Plants - WTF?
 Bastard loves Dubai more than America


President Bush has approved the takeover by a Dubai-owned company of American plants that make parts
for jets and tanks after a review that seems to have satisfied lawmakers who helped block an earlier Dubai deal.

Bush said Friday the proposed sale of a U.S. subsidiary of a British precision engineering firm to the Dubai company
"has been looked at very carefully." He said he had signed off on the transaction after receiving recommendations
from the     Pentagon and a committee that reviews security-related sales to foreign entities.

Initial reaction from Capitol Hill was favorable. "This investigation was an improvement over what happened before,"
said House Homeland Security Chairman Peter T. King, R-N.Y. "It's been much more thorough, much more detailed."

Why are we outsourcing our munitions factories to Arabs?
Our jet parts will be manufactured under Dubai control?


The net's best advertising deal

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Dead President Walking


George Bush is still walking, but his Presidency died today from a massive stroke.
Like Bush's soul(less)mate Ariel Sharon, White House doctors can probably keep his
Presidency's heart beating, but its brain will never come out of its coma.

I learned Bush's Presidency had suffered a fatal stroke this evening from Bill O'Reilly during his
segment with Dick Morris, when they announced the latest FOX poll had Bush's approval rating
down to 33%. That was 3% below their previous poll - with the drop coming from a loss of Republicans,
only 66% of whom still approve of Bush. When Morris and O'Reilly agreed that Bush's Republican base
was hemmorhaging, I knew Bush's Presidency had suffered a fatal loss of blood.

It's hard to specify the time of death. It didn't happen last night, because Bush's Presidency
was still somewhat alive when I turned on the TV this morning.


Subject: re: Friends of Kerry calls

Bart, I had a similar experience.  The DNC called and wanted a donation.
I told the girl the same thing, no money till I see you fighting back.

Then she asked if I'd like to donate a smaller amount.
I told her, "Aren't you listening? I said no fight, no money."
I hope they get the message.  I know Ron Wyden of Oregon has.

Keep swinging,
Richard K

Just think - if you went up to your boss and asked for a raise and he said,
"I'm not giving you a raise until you do some work," and you replied,
"How about just a half a raise for doing no work at all?"

Democrats think they're going to get our money to bend over for Bush?


from a time far, far away...

Musical Quotes

"I have a theory that the people who cook in jails are British chefs."
    -- Ex-con Steve Earl,  Link


Subject: Rush getting busted

Limbaugh is paid to tell the lies that these mouth-breathers want to hear, and give them
the lying-points of the day.  His full stock in trade is telling the most outrageous lies imaginable,
and he is so weak in the fundamentals, he cannot go head on with an opposition.

RL is a deliberate lawbreaker, and knows he can get away with murder.
He gets off on insults, a blowhard.
His knowledge is very shallow, and 99% bluster.
In short, like his listeners, he has a criminal mind and has contempt for his listeners.
He's self-indulgent and doesn't give a damn about others.

The difference between a Rush fan and a Conservative, is a brain and a conscience,
the former lacking either.

 Iceman on  alt.fan.rush-limbaugh

Sidebar: After all these years on the Internet, and you still haven't been to the Newsgroups?
Some people call it "Usenet," but it's where the real Internet is.

Yes, that's also where the bad stuff is, but the bad stuff is there because it's totally free.
It has fewer rules than the www.

If all you've seen are web pages, you haven't seen the Internet.


Living With War will stream on NeilYoung.com beginning today.
The album will be available online May 2nd.
CDs will be available in stores early May.

Vatican: 'Da Vinci Code' is Bad


The Vatican stepped up its offensive against "The Da Vinci Code" on Friday when Archbishop
Angelo Amato blasted the book as full of anti-Christian lies and urged Catholics to boycott the film.
Amato is the number two official in the Vatican doctrinal office which was headed by Benny the Rat
until his Rovian power grab of St Peter's throne last year.

Amato, addressing a Catholic conference in Rome, called the book "stridently anti-Christian .. full of calumnies,
offences and historical and theological errors regarding Jesus, the Gospels and the Church."

Movies that present alternatives are bad.
I guess Jesus was almost HUMAN, and almost had a sex drive.


Subject: obsequious e-mail

Mr. Bart:

I read your site every day. And pretty much every day someone e-mails you to tell you
you're just not as smart as they are because you don't think like they do, or don't like
the same music, or don't like the same television shows.

Well, I just wanted to write and say I don't know everything, and I am not as smart as you are.
And if we don't like the same music or television, well, shit, I hope you enjoy yours as much as I do mine.
That's about all there is to it, really.

For what it's worth, you're aces in my book.
Best regards,
 Charles E



"If there's one thing that will change your mind about immigration, 
  it's trying to build a 2,000-mile fence without the help of Mexicans." 
    -- Bill Maher,  Link


SNL with Smigel

The whole show was a series of off-color Robert Smigel cartoons.
One toon was about The Smurfs, with which I am not familiar.
The main lady Smurf was doing her best Anna Nicole Smith impression, then she developed
female problems, (her "smurf" itched) so they took her to her gynocologist, which was a giant cat.

I'm not sure what happened next, because the screen went black.
NBC pulled it off the air, at least on the East Coast.

It's the type of skit whose audio could turn up in BCR 92.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Subject: Limbaugh skates

Rush and the Palm Beach Attorney's Office have reached a settlement in the case.
Rush will plead Not Guilty to one charge and the Prosecutor will drop the case.

OK, I can live with that.
But from now on, any poor black kid in Florida who gets caught with enough
real or synthetic heroin of sufficient weight gets the same deal - that's fair, isn't it?

The rich never have to obey the law.
If I was a half-assed lawyer with a poor, black heroin client on trial next week,
I'd like to think we could get the same deal the president's super-wealthy defender gets.



If you see a star in an anti-Bush or pro-peace shirt,
please send that in.

Chevron profit soars 49%


Chevron Corp., the No. 2 U.S. oil company, said Friday its quarterly earnings rose 49 percent 
to $4 billion, topping Wall Street expectations and sparking a 2 percent rise in the stock.

The results came as U.S. consumer anger grew over high gas prices and Big Oil's gushing profits. 
On Thursday, Exxon reported $8.4 billion in earnings -- its biggest first-quarter profit ever.



Subject: viewed your site

To the world of atheists, pedophilias, and perverts:
Suggest you go off into some corner and jack off.  That should complete your life.

John P Laughman

John, I'm a pervert because I don't hate blacks and gays?
I'm a pervert because I think 2400 dead soldiers is too many?
I'm a pervert because I prefer science to religious superstition?

That can't be the best argument your side has...


Only 50 days till the first batch
of sweet Bixby corn - yum!


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Subject: Dem-bashing comment

Hi Bart,

Thanks for putting my comment on your page. 
I was shocked, however, that you snipped out my entire argument 
as to what Dems are actually doing in Congress (and didn't even 
alert your readers that you had done so with a 'snip'). 

I guess if the facts don't support what you are saying, you simply ignore them.

I was a faithful reader, but you know what? 
There are plenty of entertaining pro-democracy sites out there 
that don't treat their commenters this way. Hasta la vista.

"Madame B"

Laura, it's called "editing."
Some people need 600 words to express a simple thought.
Some people go over old ground that has already been covered.
Some people ramble on, as if more words means they're making a better point..

In my opinion, your main argument was, "what exactly is it that you'd like the Dems to do?" 
so I printed your question and answered it.

Since you feel that every word you write is very important, I'm printing your entire letter.


But I'm also going to call your bluff.
There are plenty of entertaining pro-democracy sites out there that won't print your words, 
unless it's an "everybody post here" kind of thing where the site's owner is too busy to comment.

There was no reason for you to turn on me.
I'm a guy on your side who thought you asked an important question.


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is$71.88 a barrel
makes $143,760,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps FOUR M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 6 M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $71.88 a barrel
makes $431,280,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

That's nearly a half a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2396  2400 soldiers are dead


Subject: re: Foreclosures Up 63 Percent

Bart, you wrote:

> Jobs lost, interest rates rising, cost of gas rising, soldiers dying...

I'd be curious to know how many of those 101,597 foreclosures had a soldier paying on the loan,
and they couldn't make the payment because the army pays worse than even Home Depot?

Love you Bart, keep swingin' it
 Michele K in PDX


The Crony Fairy


The U.S. government is being stalked by an invisible bandit, the Crony Fairy, who visits key agencies
by dead of night, snatches away qualified people and replaces them with unqualified political appointees.
There's no way to catch or stop the Crony Fairy, so our only hope is to change the agencies' names.
That way she might get confused, and leave our government able to function.

The Crony Fairy is named George W. Bush.


Gas Prices

I'll be the first to say it - gas prices are too high.
BIG OIL is gouging us because they know Bush will back them up.
It's that simple.

...but you know what really pisses me off?

Jay Leno is the king of this, but I hate when they compare commodity prices.

"In Europe, gas is $5 a gallon and they're not complaining."

To me, that's,
Wife #1: "I hate it when my husband beats me on Saturday nights!"
Wife #2: "You're damn lucky, my husband beats me on Saturday and Sunday."

They want us to be happy about the beatings we get.
They want us to accept the beatings with a smile on our face, and if we don't?
"They're trying to help Osama destroy our freedoms."

...and the idiot majority falls for this horseshit.

Then we get Jay Leno's tired-ass jokes that've been recycled 40 times:

"People bitch about paying $4 for a gallon of gas, but they don't mind
paying $7 for twelve ounces of a chocco-coffe de-caf latte," and then the
drummer does a slo-mo, double flam kick and the crowd guffaws their approval.

Hey Jay, you're a multi-millionaire working for the GE war machine billionaires.

When's the last time you struggled to pay the fucking rent?


Subject: Pigboy's frogmarch

yeah bartcop, the obnoxious pigboy was frogmarched, but he had a "get out of jail free card" 
and was soon back in his sty spreading the big lie.  apparenty his ditto jerks still believe in his puking swill 
and buy into the pigboy worldview-  those cretins don't see hypocrisy when it stares them in the noggin.

his ratings ain't gone down, he is still as self-sure and obnoxious as ever. 
a few yrs in jail woulda wised him up, but no, the prosecutor/judge or whoever runs things down there 
in florida land made some deal to keep this miscreant  on the air, completely unscathed.

there oughta be a law......a real frogmarch for such slime.... but so be it 2006 in the Theocratic States of Jesus.....


don carmon
in stockholm
-readin n weepin-


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Page, Plant to play Montreux fest


It seems Jimmy Page and Robert Plant have buried the hatchet -- again.

The pair are set to perform together at the Montreux Jazz Festival as part of a tribute to
Atlantic Records' founder Ahmet Ertegun on June 30th, according to a posting on Led-Zeppelin.com.

Will I'm-sooo-old Plant agree to play real songs for this show?
Or will he force Jimmy to play, "If I Were a Carpenter?"


Subject: 80 percent of the house and senate

This is probably close to correct.  The problem however is the ignorance of the voting public. 
A coworker of mine agreed with me that the republicans have screwed everything that they have touched,
that he is worse off now and that prospects for the future are bleak.  He also admits Bush is the worst president ever. 

Okay now hold on to your hat, he also says he could never vote for a democrat as they would raise his taxes and 
increase the debt by wild spending.   It is enough to make one bang his or her head against the wall. 
Mike R.

Mike, he thinks that because the Democrats haven't told him any different.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)


We have updated the "Contact us" page.

My former right-hand gal Sam has a new job where she is not able to continue helping with the mail,
so if you were sending things to Sam, please re-direct those to jim@bartcop.com or  bartcop@bartcop.com


Subject: Joe Dirt and Heather Locklear

Funny is the word.
But I have to tell you, ever since you made me aware that Heather is a rethug
I've been completely screwed up. I've  had to totally redo my spanking rotation.
Anyway, good for Ritchie.  He's a really good guitarist.

James T

James, I like Ritchie, but let's face it - he's an American guitar player.
I like Spade, too, enough to forgive him for nailing Eva Von Locklear.

In the old days, we'd run the nude picture of Locklear to punish her, because she 
does not want those pictures out and Playboy can't run them without permission.

Good thing we don't do that anymore...


Anna Nicole Smith wins ruling 


Anna Nicole Smith and gets a new chance to collect millions of dollars 
she says her late Texas oil tycoon husband promised her

Give the lady a few million out of the thousands of millions her husband had.
She earned it, trust me.


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I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
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