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 Tuesday  May 9, 2006    Volume 1760 - Shrum's Millions

Quote of the Day

"The Speaker believes they should not have a 
  military person leading the CIA, a civilian agency."  
     -- Ron Bonjean, Dennis Hastert's spokesman, 
         pretending Hastert has thoughts of his own,  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
A Bush Family Fiefdom
Bush: We Don't Torture
Bush's Big Catch
Digital Lynch Mob 
Bush Falls to 31% 
Bush Voter Apology 
Cruella in Dub Trub 
Rupert loves Hillary? 
Ashlee Simpson's Nose 


Visit   funnytimes.com


"It is a reasonableness standard in the Fourth Amendment.  What you've raised to me is, 
  in terms of quoting the Fourth Amendment, is an issue of the Constitution. The constitutional 
  standard is 'reasonable.' And we believe -- I am convinced that we are lawful because what it 
  is we're doing is reasonable."  
    --Gen. Michael Hayden, Bush's CIA nominee, on why the Fourth Amendment no longer counts, Link


The CIA, a Bush Family Fiefdom
  by Robert Parry as seen on  consortiumnews.com


What's wrong with the U.S. intelligence community is that over the past three decades its ethos of telling truth
to power has been corrupted by politics to such a degree that George W. Bush now sees the CIA as virtually
his family's fiefdom, with the Langley, Virginia, headquarters even named for his father, a former CIA director.

So, when analysts at the CIA were viewed as undercutting George W. Bush's case for war with Iraq,
the White House launched a counter-attack against these intelligence professionals for perceived disloyalty.

During the buildup to the Iraq War, Vice President Dick Cheney personally went to CIA headquarters to
bang heads with intelligence analysts who doubted White House claims about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.
While some analysts resisted, many mid-level bureaucrats acquiesced to Cheney.

Paul Pillar, the CIA's senior intelligence analyst for the Middle East, said the Bush administration didn't
just play games with the principle of objective analysis, but "turned the entire model upside down."

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site in the Internet



Bush: We Don't Torture - Honest!


The BFEE lied thru their teeth when they told a U.N. watchdog Monday that Americans
are barred from using torture in interrogating terror suspects and other prisoners.

"U.S. officials are prohibited from engaging in torture at all times and in all places," John B. Bellinger III,
a State Department legal adviser and Bush toady told the U.N. Committee Against Torture.

Bellinger said the "regrettable incidents or allegations" of detainee mistreatment at Abu Ghraib and
elsewhere had occurred several years ago and that laws, training and monitoring have since improved.

The whole world knows they are straight-out lying.
They say they don't torture while seeking legal remedies to torture.
They say they don't torture while claiming the right to torture, ...but they don't torture.
They say they don't torture while kidnapping darkies to send to countries that torture.

America has no credibility left with any government.
All we have are bigger bombs and faster jets so other countries fear us.


Digital Lynch Mob


The anger festering on the Democratic left will be taken out on the Democratic middle. (Watch out, Hillary!)
I have seen this anger before -- back in the Vietnam War era. That's when the antiwar wing of the Democratic 
Party helped elect Richard Nixon. In this way, they managed to prolong the very war they so hated.  
The hatred is back. I know it's only words now appearing on my computer screen, but the words are so angry, 
so roiled with rage, that they are the functional equivalent of rocks once so furiously hurled during antiwar 
demonstrations. I can appreciate some of it. Institution after institution failed America -- the presidency, 
Congress and the press. They all endorsed a war to rid Iraq of what it did not have. Now, though, that gullibility 
is being matched by war critics who are so hyped on their own sanctimony that they will obliterate distinctions, 
punishing their friends for apostasy and, by so doing, aiding their enemies. If that's going to be the case, then Iraq 
is a war its critics will lose twice -- once because they couldn't stop it and once more at the polls.

Will the Hillary haters give the BFEE four more years?


Bush's best moment in office?


America's Monkey told a German newspaper his best moment in more than five years
in office was catching a big perch in his own lake.

"Tt's hard to name the best moment," Bush told weekly Bild am Sonntag when asked
about his high point since becoming president in January 2001.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake."

Subject: Caught Bush In Another Lie

The world record for Yellow Perch is four pounds, three ounces.




Subject: World Cup targets

Hey Bart, that quote from AP --

>  The other 31 buses have large national flags of the teams painted on rear sides.

Doesn't that mean that the terra-ists will go after the unflagged bus, knowing that it's 'murican?


P.S.   Do you get any e-mails from comcast.net?
         They are blocking you and Marty at Bartcop Entertainment

Can I get some confirmation about this comcast censorship?
Why would anyone stay with a Internet provider that blacked out parts of the Internet?
That's what they do in Cuba, China and Iran - censor the Internet.

Later that day, I got this spam:

Sexually Explicit: Girls Blowing Farm Animals

I'll bet  comcast.net  lets them get thru,
but Ol' Bart is too radical to be seen by comcast's adult readers.



These guys mentioned  bartcop.com


"Bush replacing Colin Powell with Condi Rice was confusing enough. Replacing John Ashcroft with 
  Al Gonzales was even stranger. His initial pick for head of the 9/11 commission was Henry Kissinger
  -- that didn't last too long, did it? And picking Harriet Miers to replace Sandra Day O'Connor was 
  simply funny. But the idea of replacing Porter Goss with Michael Hayden -- now that's vintage Bush. 
  Take the guy who oversaw the nsa's illegal wiretapping program and put him in charge of the cia. 
  If this isn't a vote of "no confidence" in congress, the intelligence community, and the american public, 
  then I don't know what the friggin' hell is."  
       --Mimus Pauly,   Link


Subject: Kerry in '08?


Then to my horror, on the night of the "election", I saw how exit polls didnt reflect election results,
how Ohio was reft with voting problems. It felt like a repeat of what we had in Florida in 2000.
Then to my total shock, I saw John Kerry, the fighter, the champion of the democratic party,
roll over and concede with a whimper. Never have I felt so betrayed in my life by ANY politician.


Get your two minutes on BartCop Radio

Bush lovers welcome to call
Spankings are free




"People say we cannot 'cut and run.'
  Cut and run was what got us out of Vietnam."
       -- Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., 88,  Link

 How else do you get out of an unwinnable, bloody quagmire?



Bush Approval Falls to 31


President Shit-for-Brains saw his approval rating fall to 31 percent in a USA Today/Gallup Poll,
the lowest recorded in the survey and a drop of three percentage points in a single week.

Bush, at 34 percent a week ago, tumbled on declining support from conservatives and Republicans.
The poll found only 52 percent of conservatives approved of Bush's performance.


GOP Prison Watch

Subject: Retroactive Impeachment


Where are all those hits you promised?
Went to the trouble over the weekend to put together a
special welcome page for the moonbats and they're not showing up.

Kevin Groenhagen, Dittohead, USMC, 0231

Dude, I'm surprised, too. If someone wrote and told me
there was a Bizzaro Bartcop page, I'd have to look at it.


The Grand Finale  of "The Brandon & Sean Show"
is Wednesday.the 10th.
8 pm to 10 pm Pacific at www.kssu.com .
Go there and click on the "listen live" button.

Apology from a Bush Voter
  by Doug McIntyre, Talk Radio 790 KABC


I was wrong to have voted for George W. Bush. In historic terms, I believe George W. Bush is
the worst two-term President in the history of the country. Worse than Grant. I also believe a case
can be made that he's the worst President, period.I believed the President when he said we were
going to hunt down Bin Laden and all those responsible for the 9-11 murders. I believed Bush when
he said we would go after the terrorists and the nations that harbored them.

So, accept my apology for allowing partisanship to blind me to an obvious truth;
our President is incapable of the tasks he is charged with.

Note: KABC also hosts O'Reilly and Hannity.

That's O'Reilly on the left, McIntyre in red and Hannity on the right.


The net's best advertising deal

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Random Thought

When Hillary wins, will  bartcop.com
be the only lefty web site to support our new president?

I don't know this for a fact,
but I've been told dailykos and Atrios are solidly against her.
I think the same could be said about Democratic Underground.

It's kinda creepy to think the left and the right will be after her.



"Goss' primary roll at the CIA was to execute partisan purges on Bush/Cheney's behalf."
    -- from the Randi Rhodes newsletter  Link


Subject: Bob Shrum's millions


Shrum and his firm ended up receiving roughly 6 percent of the money Kerry spent on TV ads 
from the end of the primaries until Election Day. While precise figures are unavailable, Shrum and 
his partners made more than $6 million from their losing effort to oust Bush from the White House.

Shrum cared not if Kerry won or not. Shrum got his huge piece of the pie.

Kerry could've hired me for $100,000 and won.


Buzzflash 6th Anniversary


Six years ago, BuzzFlash.com was launched on the Internet.

We were committed to being a pro-democracy news and commentary site, with an emphasis on
hard hitting, irreverent advocacy for the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and inclusive government.
We have grown from 34 visitor sessions a day in May of 2000 to 5 million readers a month in 2006.

Congrats to the gang over at Buzzflash!


Subject: big oil

Oil companies have consistently made 8% profits. 

Then why did Fat Bastard get a $400M retirement package?
Because profits have been steady?


Oil companies didn't shut down refineries, the regulators and greens did. 

The GOP controls everything.
How many refineries have they built since Bush was elected?

There is no energy shortage but there is a refinery shortage. 

The GOP controls everything.
How many refineries have they built since Bush was elected?

Environmental regulators shut down the refineries not the companies.
 Carson, Monkey Emeritus

Right - the greens overruled the Oil President and the Republican congress 
and the Republican Supreme Court and dictated "No more refineries."
I'll bet Limbaugh's listeners would believe you.

Banana Fact: A single banana is called a "finger." 
Four to six bananas sold in the retail store are called a "cluster."



"What's the difference between Iraq and Iran? 
  When it comes to Iran, the nature of the catastrophe will be evident on day one."  
     -- Eric Alterman,   Link


Katherine Harris scandal
 Cruella caught in bribe


Former staff members for Katherine Harris say she directed staff members to submit a defense
contractor's ten million-dollar appropriation request after they rejected it. The request is being
challenged by a congressional watchdog group.

Today's edition of the Orlando Sentinel says Harris insisted the request be submitted although it
was late and hard to understand. The newspaper cites Harris' former chief political strategist Ed Rollins.
Rollins left the campaign in April.

Jeb: Cruella Can't Win
 Everybody hates her - even the Bush family


Gov. Jeb Bush said Monday that U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris has dropped so low in polls
she cannot beat Democratic U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson in November.

"I just don't think she can win,'' Bush said in his strongest statement yet about Cruella's struggling campaign.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Murdoch/FOX News fundraiser for Hillary?
 I thought April Fool's Day was in April...


Rupert Murdoch, the soulless tabloid whore, has agreed to host a political fundraiser for Hillary.
The decision underlines an incongruous thawing of relations between Murdoch and Hillary.
Murdoch will host the July fundraiser on behalf of News Corp.

Last month Hillary surprised Washington by attending the "Fox News Sunday" party,
where she chatted with Mr Murdoch.

I didn't see this one coming.
Maybe Murdoch doesn't need an enemy in the White House for eight years?



From Doonesbury's FAQ Page

I read a post on your BLOWBACK page from a vet who says B.D.'s story
has helped her decide to seek counseling. I'm at that same point myself, and
would appreciate your advice on how to get the ball rolling. Who do I call?
   -- M.B., Seattle, WA

We checked with our VA sources, and they suggest that you begin by going to the Vet Center
main page HERE for information regarding readjustment counseling for combat veterans and their families.
This includes contact information for all 207 VET CENTERS, links for PTSD information at the
NATIONAL CENTER FOR PTSD, and numerous other resources. Vet Center staff can be reached
at 1-800-905-4675 (during normal business hours - Eastern). All of these services are part of the

 Click  Here  to get activated Links

Trudeau and his 'toon may be doing more to help Vets than Bush.



Subject: ...if not Hillary, who?

Wes Clark, that's who. Check this guy's resume. 
Poor boy makes it good. He was first in his class at West Point, a born leader.  
He is a Rhodes Scholar, and he won many military honors. 
He has and guts, brains. Not only that, but he looks and acts presidential.

I can't knock Hilary, but I like to pick my leaders on basis of ability and Wes remains my number 1 man.

Ramstein AFB,

I agree.
I'd support Clark-Clinton or Clinton-Clark.

But then, I'll support any Democrat not named Lieberman.



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 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is $70.19 a barrel
makes $140,380,000 Bush stole just yesterday

...add to that, Iran pumps FOUR M barrels a day.

Once the sick bastard invades, that's 6 M barrels a day
times today's oil price which is  $70.19 a barrel
makes $421,140,000 dollars Bush will steal daily

No wonder they were so eager to start a war

...and what did it cost us?

2417  2428 soldiers

They got 11 yesterday


Bush's Perfect Storm


A perfect storm" occurs when several weather conditions - for example, a low pressure area,
a cold front, a diversion of the jet stream -- each significant by itself, converge and combine at
a particular time and place, with catastrophic results.

Analogously, a perfect political storm may now be gathering over the Bush Administration, with each element
intensifying the effects of the others. Heretofore, the Bush regime has been able to handle one element or two
at a time, put the emergency behind them, and then move on. Similarly, the problems facing the Busheviks today
might be dealt with successfully if they were to appear in sequence. Unfortunately for Bush and the Republicans,
they are arriving all at once, and this time they may well be overwhelmed and, come November, overthrown.


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C-Span Asks Web Sites to Pull Colbert Clip 
 Mr Rove isn't happy about this clip being played so much


Political comedy often is intended to stir controversy, but this doesn't usually involve
broadcasting rights and the public affairs network C-SPAN. 

The cable network asked two Internet video providers, YouTube and IFILM, to pull clips 
of Stephen Colbert's April 29 performance at the WHCA dinner from their Web sites.
Both YouTube and IFILM complied with the request.

The Emperor is pissed that a hundred million Americans are laughing at him.


Subject: Democrats

Why do the fascists win? They pick a candidate and everyone supports them, 
then they make their bargains for payback AFTER they take power. 
Not us. 

We demand the perfect candidate for 12 different points of view, give the fascists ammo in the primaries, 
go off in a snit and vote for a Libertarian or some other sure loser, and ensure our own defeat. 
Not to mention simply ignoring the illegal vote-stealing antics on the Dark Side.
But we're pure and good, and they're not, so it's all worth it.

Liz McLucy 

It's a fact - Democrats prefer to lose with honor.
In the last 40 years, have you ever seen Republicans demonize their front runner?
It doesn't happen, because they'd rather win than lose with honor.


 Call the all new, toll-free 
 GOP callers Welcome (snicker)

Subject: Murdoch and Hillary

Now why would he do that Bart? 
Because maybe she is a right wing policy maker?

Crazy Chris in Boca


Maybe Murdoch knows a winner when he sees one.
Maybe Murdoch knows America is fed up with the BFEE and Republicans.


Ashlee Simpson Gets a New Nose


Her representative said, "Ashlee is as beautiful as ever. 
When the swelling goes down, it's going to look really cute."


Thanks to bartcop.com  subscribers.
I know you work hard for your money, so I take it as
a compliment when you throw some my way each month.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

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