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Thursday, July 20, 2006  Vol 1802 - Battlefield Earth

Quote of the Day

"It wasn't our idea, it was God's." 
      -- Rep Mike Pense (R-Fascist) saying God told him
          to spend his life tormenting gay Americans  Link

 Why would God create people for the GOP to torment? 

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Terrorism on Both Sides
Full-scale invasion? 
Ken Lay's Alive!
Open Mike Night 
Bush is an Imbecile 
Ralph Reed loses 
Not spare parts 
Top 10 Bush Moments 
Katherine Heigl sex tape


Bush Blew a Guy

The net's best advertising deal

Reach over twenty people per penny.

 advertise on


"If stupid ideas ever get to $40 a barrel,
  I want the drilling rights to Dick Armey's head."
     -- Paul Begala, less than four years ago,   Link

 Hey Paul, guess what?
 Stupid ideas have gone to $78 ....and we have 2550 dead soldiers.


Terrorism on Both Sides
  by Ivan Eland

The classic definition of terrorism is the use of violence against civilians to achieve
a political end.  The 9/11 attacks were a prime example. A suicide bomber at a
busy restaurant would be another clear case.

But often selective judgments are applied. If you favor a cause or despise a population,
you're more likely to tolerate violence against civilians. But shouldn't that still be called
terrorism? For instance, when George W. Bush ordered the bombing of a Baghdad
restaurant at the start of the Iraq War -- hoping to kill Saddam Hussein -- but instead
butchered 14 civilians, including seven children, shouldn't that be denounced as terrorism?
That it isn't is more a measure of Bush's power than an objective application of a word.

In this guest essay, the Independent Institute's Ivan Eland examines the double standards
that have been applied to the current bloodshed involving Israel, Lebanon, Hezbollah and Hamas:

Note:  is the most important site in the Internet



"Today I have a message for the people of Lebanon:
  The American people are on your side."
     -- Der Promise Monkey, March 2005    Link

"[Current events] send a clear message to every Arab reformer and every Arab politician.
  And that message is: Don't count on the United States." 
    --Joshua Landis, Oklahoma University, on Dubya's lack of commitment to Lebanon,  Link


Israel hints at a full-scale invasion
 Have you prayed today?

                         Looks kinda like the WTC on September 12, 2001

 Yahoo News

Israeli troops met fierce resistance from Hezbollah guerrillas as they crossed
into Lebanon and Israel hinted at a full-scale invasion.

Israeli warplanes also launched new airstrikes on Beirut's southern suburbs,
a Hezbollah stronghold, shortly after daybreak, followed by strikes in the
guerrillas' heartland in the south and eastern Bekaa Valley.

Do you think it's Bush's intention to screw up the world so bad
that we're all going to pine for the "good old days" of May, 2006?



Thug: Give me $10,000, or I'll break both your legs.

Jack Benny: Does it have to be both legs?


Subject: religion

Bart, last issue, pipe said this on your page.

> Bart, I don't think religious idiocy enters into it.
> Rather it is the human spirit that fights against all odds to overcome brutal dominance.
> Don't you agree?  Would you, Bart, fight -- or would you take your family and move
> to a desert in Oklahoma and wait for the next armed cretin to come along and dominate you?
>  pipe

I think what Pipe falls to realize;  it is about religion.

Roger that.

The Jewish people believe that God gave them that land over there.
If you crack a bible you would know that.

ha ha

I would know that God gave them that?
Or that they were willing to lose their kids for that belief?

The problem is that Muslims believe that is the holy land for them too.
 Indy Willy

Dude, roger that.
Over the years, I short-lined that concept into the phrase, "the sacred sand."

We have thousands of square miles of plain-ass sand in DuPree, Oklahoma,
where the Israelis could live for hundreds years and never see a blown up school bus.


...the DuPree sand isn't sacred enough - so they'd rather dress for their kid's funerals.

<Bart does a shot>

On the other hand, if someone asked me:
"Bart, do your kids mean more to you than a pile of sand?"

I'd say yes, ...but I've always had that anti-social streak.


Ken Lay's Alive!
 by Greg Palast

Don't check the casket. I know he's back. When I saw lights flickering at La Guardia
and heard the eerie shrieks and moans in the dark, broiling subway tunnels, I just knew it:
Ken Lay's alive! We can see his spirit in every flickering lightbulb from Kansas to Queens
as we head into America's annual Blackout season.

It wasn't always so. For decades, America had nearly the best, most reliable electricity system
on the planet and, though we grumbled, electricity bills were among the planet's lowest. It was all
thanks to FDR's tough regulation of the power monopolies. They were told what they could charge,
the maximum profit they could take and — what I think about when the lights dim — exactly how
much they had to invest to keep the juice flowing.

But then, in 1992, Poppy Bush, fired by the US electorate, gave Ken Lay a billion-dollar good-bye kiss:
Bush's signature authorizing deregulation of electricity.


Subject: sincere question


As a 58 year old boomer, my cynicism is more than I would want it to be.
Forgive my for asking, but how come I can no longer access your radio show site?

We've gone through bankruptcy, have virtually no money, just listed the home in which
we've lived for 18 years, and even drained my wife's retirement fund.
Yet, despite the freebie you were most gracious to give me of accessing your site,
I recently sent you $25.00.  I just had to show you my appreciation.

First, it was wrong of you to send that $25.
The first rule is take care of yourself first.

After that, if you have hooker money, if you have cocaine money,
if you have Tally-on-the-Paris-slots money, then sure - send alllll of that to me.

But now--after the ugly dollar sign enters the picture--I can no longer listen to your genius.
Is this some fluke coincidence of Koresh, or are you pissed about something?

ha ha

When you donate, it angers me!

Of course, it's your prerogative to cut me off, but why the hell did it happen AFTER I DONATED?
I would not make such a big deal of this if I didn't hold you to a higher standard than most people in my life.
You are real and I'm real confused.
 Sleepless in Ohio

Dude, you have to realize who you're dealing with.
I have no staff to blame.
I have to middle managers to harrass.
I have no upper management to threaten.
All the mistakes fall on me.

Hopefully your subscription is back on now, just in time for BCR 95.


Bush's Open Mike

"See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit,
and it's over," he said, apparently referring to the guerrilla force's firing of rockets into Israel.
"I felt like telling Kofi to get on the phone with [Syria's] Assad and make something happen."

Our president employs language that would earn a radio shock jock a fine from his own rabid
obscenity-sniffers at the FCC.  His profound ignorance is appalling.  Israel, Hamas and Hezbollah
all have their own hard-core agendas—Syria is just one player in the tortured region. Furthermore,
Bush's disinterest in the Mideast peace process—especially as an "honest broker" between Israel
and the Palestinians—since he was handed the job in 2000, has paved the way for this moment.

Excellent point.
If CBS broadcasts the word "shit," Der Monkey's church lady FCC can fine them $300,000.
Meanwhile, the guttermonkey can say it and Cheney can tell a senator to "fuck off."

Should these thugs have to pay a fine for indecency?


Subject: the enemy is who?

America is trying hard to get Americans out of Lebanon so that
American's aren't killed by enemy forces who are attacking.

Who are these forces who Americans are running from? Israelis?
But I thought Israel was our friend. I'm so confused.

Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.


One general admission price includes all
the "Olathe Sweet" Sweet corn you can eat.

Olathe, in western Colorado

Bush is an Imbecile

You know it, I know it [Bob Dole knows it] and the American people know it.
But everyone is afraid to say it. They say it privately, but people are afraid of saying it
publicly because you will be branded as a liberal, elite, intellectual snob. But believe me,
you don't have to be an intellectual to see how painfully stupid our president is.

Bush: "It takes him eight hours to fly home. Eight hours. Russia's big and so is China."

Russia's big and so is China??????? This guys sounds like a third grader.

If someone is this ignorant, they're usually embarrassed and try not to talk much.
But this guy is so dumb he has no idea how dumb he is.
This is a conversation you'd have with a mentally challenged child.
Johnny, do you know how big Russia is? How about China?

This would all be unfortunate if George was your dentist, or worse yet, your accountant.
But he is the leader of the free world. This man makes life or death decisions every day.
If you say you're not scared about that, you're lying.

Do you remember CBS's whore, Bob Scheiffer, praising Bush in the 2000 debates?

We knew Bush was too stupid to be a greeter at Wal-Mart way back in 1999.
Now, sadly, the whole world is finding out.

Shame on America's whore media for helping this crooked moron steal power.


Subject: chicken shit

Bart, you're a chicken shit for not writing about
the massacre of innoncent people in Lebanon etc.

When you say, "etc.," do you mean the massacre of innocent Israelis, too?
Or are you saying I should only write about one side in this nutty-ass circle jerk?

Give Israel all they want Blood/Land/Money
and you and Kos keeping your chicken shit mouths closed

ha ha
Yep, it's Kos & me, standing together against the rest of the world!

Look, if two insane groups want to murder each other
more than they want to see their kids grow up,
why should I get involved in something that ridiculous?

Israel wins all the way around.
 Mike Hunt

Mike, you're insane with rage because *I* refuse to be insane with rage.
I might be the most mentally healthy man in political punditom.

If I start to lose my grip, I'll call and ask for you by name.
Which bar do you hang out at?


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Friday, Marty's E! turns five years old!

Click on the E!


"Bush brings the same smart-alecky attitude, the same simplistic approach
 - swearing, swaggering, talking to Tony Blair with his mouth full of buttered roll,
 and giving a startled Angela Merkel an impromptu shoulder rub. He can make
 even a global summit meeting seem like a kegger."
    -- Maureen Dowd, eager to go after you-know-who, Link


Ralph Reed loses fascist primary
 Bastard tainted by corruption and gay sex rumors

 Yahoo News

Ralph Reed (R-Passing as straight) was unable to overcome his ties to Bush's favorite
disgraced lobbyist, Jack Adogoff and conceded defeat to Casey Cagle in Tuesday's
Fascist primary for Georgia lieutenant governor.

In attack ads and televised debates, Cagle hammered at Reed's connections to Adogoff,
and asked whether Reed could face criminal charges for accepting more than $5.3 million
from two Indian tribes. Reed has not been charged with a crime and claims that he regrets
the work he did with Adogoff.   Rumors have swirled around Washington DC for years
that Reed was "friendly" with Bush's top, Jeff Gannon.

    "Ralphie's a cute one, no doubt!"


Subject: my WPE shirt

I have gotten nothing but positive comments when wearing my shirt.
One guy said he was offended at my shirt only because it showed Bush's face.
He can't stand to look at him.

I can't stand to put his face on my chest but it does get the word out.
I have not been approached by one rabid repug.



Print out this wpe-business-card.pdf then cut them up.

If you bought a WPE shirt, it might save you a lot of trouble to
download that PDF and print out 2-3 pages and cut them into little pieces.
Sane Americans who stop you on the street will thank you for it.

Subject: my WPE t-shirt

Newly married Pink in her WPE shirt

Send in a picture of you in your WPE t-shirt!
Be seen by dozens!

 Here's my picture, Bart!

 Get WPE t-shirts Here

Subject: our president

I was shocked.
Our leader has the table manners of a 4-year old.



Bartcop Flashback


No excerpt - you gotta click.
It was a pivotal period in history.


They're not spare parts, they're props

The charade to announce that Bush vetoed a bill that could have saved millions of lives was
one of the most obscenely crass political displays of the Bush presidency, and that is saying a lot.
To shift attention from the reality that only discarded embryos would be used in the research,
the president's staff filled the room with children who were born from frozen embryos.
The craven use of used these children as political props turned ironic when Bush said of them,
"These boys and girls are not spare parts."



Subject: Bart, is Israel using WMDs on Lebanon?

WMR reported that the Israeli military was using poison gas on villages in south Lebanon.
According to a former U.S. weapons expert who served in Iraq, the artillery shell in a photo
taken in Lebanon (below) is a chemical weapon delivery device. It is being handled by an
Israeli Defense Force soldier and Hebrew lettering can be clearly seen on the armored vehicle.


 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2003 Halliburton Upgrade)
 times today's oil price which is going to $100 a barrel
makes $200,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

You heard it here first.
Oil is going to $100 a barrel, then to $200

No wonder they were so eager to start a war

Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2555....2557 American victims

The Iran invasion is back on.


By Christmas, Thanksgiving, Bush will have killed
more Americans than his partner Osama.

Thune runs from Pres Poison

First-term Fascist Senator John Thune, who received major "heckuva job" accolades
from President Poison has to distance himself from the administration, sources say.

The Whore AP reported that Thune, who defeated Daschle in 2004, said, "If I were running
in the state this year, you obviously don't embrace the president and his agenda."

Thune is seeking to be head of the NRC Senatorial Committee in 2008, and warned that
because Bush's ratings are so low, "these are going to be tough races to win," referring to
this November's Congressional elections.

Now if we could just convince some elected Democrats to run from him...


Subject: her

What is it that you likes about her again?

She's going to win and she's not Bush.

That she tried to have a "low key" fundraising lunch with.. RUPERT MURDOCH?

She took Rupert's money.
If I could, *I* would take Rupert's money.
If you could, you would take Rupert's money.

That her husband is... SUPPORTING "don't count the votes in Florida...

I'm unfamiliar with that allegation.

...SUPPORTING I've got my senate seat sewn up" lieberman?

She made it crystal clear that she'd support which ever Democrat won.
That's a pledge I'd like to see the hueueueuege Demo web sites take.

...that she can't quite find it in herself to condemn torture or kangaroo courts
that convict female, uneducated, WA-A-AY overstressed privates for following orders?

If she shows her hand too early, she could lose.
She's the only person in the senate who can't speak up too soon.
People who say, "She's just one of 100 senators," are kidding themselves.

That she and Joe are synonymous on their entire list of issues?

I believe you're getting carried away.
She is not Lieberman - if she was, Bush would kiss her.

She couldn't even find it in herself to vote AGAINST the Credit Extortion Bill!
She "sat that one out," whatever the hell that means.

Hmmm, you might be talking about the Bankruptcy bill, and that's a legit beef.
But IF our choices are more Bushtorture, more Bushinvasions, more Bushspying,
more Bushsleeping thru 9-11 and Katrina or Bill's wife, I'm going with Bill's wife
and I think America joins me on that.

Lieberman=bush thugs.
She=Bart's Great White Hope??

<massive, mega-snippage>


Dude, the goal is to get rid of the Bush thugs while the Earth is still spinning.
If a more electable candidate comes along, I may change my mind,
but the least we could do is make it a fair fight.

Some hueueueue web sites are spreading "false facts" about her and that's a losing idea.
Shooting the front-runner in the back is a uniquely Democratic tradition.

Let's be the party of change this time.


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Church of Reality:
Israel's Invasion of Lebanon is Wrong

The Church of Reality condemns the unprovoked attack by Israel against the nation of Lebanon
as a crime against humanity. This undeclared war against this new sovereign democracy of Lebanon
is unjustified and we urge the free thinking people of the world to speak out and condemn this act
and to resist accepting an artificial justification for what is essentially an act of terrorism.


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Get your opinion on BartCop Radio

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Top 10 Bush Moments
 Includes the dreaded "wiping" incident

Like the rest of America, Dave hates him now, too.


Subject: elections

Bart, you wrote:

> "It's like the Democrats (most of them) are afraid of winning."

I'm not sure that they're afraid of winning, or that they're just afraid.
Many are certainly just benefiting with the cash/lifestyle.
 bob bob

Bob, I've seen that charge leveled 100 times, but riddle me this:
Wouldn't winners have a better lifestyle than the losers?
Why contribute to a powerless party without a spine?


Party at the Palms, Sept 16

 Updates - Info


Katherine Heigl plans sex tape

"I think maybe I should do a sex tape. Look what it did for Paris Hilton!
 There's never enough sex for me. The guy I'm dating now is just so
 fantastic in bed that half the time I just want to leave the handcuffs on."


Thanks to  subscribers.
We know you work hard for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each month.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

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