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Show 96 is up

 Weekend-Monday   Aug 19-21, 2006 Vol 1822 - Guilty sicko

Quote of the Day

"George Bush's mental weakness is damaging 
  America's credibility at home and abroad. 
      -- Joe Scarborough, swear to Koresh   Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
American Turning Point 
Tampering with Rights
Rules of Engagement 
Arms Dealers 'MaK' 
Rich Bart Wins Contest 
Penis Pump Judge 
Try Rove for Treason 
Pundits Denounce W
Brooke Burke Engaged 


Bush Blew a Guy


"I just want to be hot. I just want to be buff. I want to be fit.
  Do you think I'll lose a couple of pounds in boot camp?"
    -- idiot teen girl, joining the Marines to lose weight    Link

 Great idea, Honey.  Sign right up.
 If you leave your legs in Iraq, you'll come back weighing 77 pounds.


An American Turning Point
 by Peter Dyer

 Robert Parry:
The new trend among Washington pundits is -- finally -- to admit that the Iraq War hasn't
turned out exactly like they had expected. But they are still blaming tactical errors: not enough
U.S. troops, not enough realism in the hasty decision to disband the Iraqi army, not enough
targeting of Shiite militias, not enough saber-rattling against Iran and Syria.

Bush has so thoroughly lost credibility with nearly everyone on the planet and is so widely despised
that he himself has become a clear and present danger to U.S. national security. Bush has become
Osama's perfect foil, yet Bush is incapable of admitting mistakes and changing course.

Thus, no serious discussion can be held about solving Bush's disastrous foreign policy as long as Bush
and his team remain in office. In this guest essay, Peter Dyer suggests the first difficult step that the
United States must take is to change national leadership and to demonstrate to the world that the
American people are determined to reclaim their proud history as the chief defender of international law:

 Peter Dyer:
If and when President Bush is impeached and removed from office, the next step should be
to arrest him and the other architects of the unprovoked invasion and occupation of Iraq.

Note:  is the most important site on the internet


Tampering with Rights
 by Helen Thomas

Why does Bush insist on tinkering with the long-established laws on military conduct and treaties?
They are drafting amendments to the 1996 War Crimes Act to immunize political appointees,
CIA officials and former military personnel from criminal prosecution for humiliating or degrading
treatment of prisoners of war.

Bush's proposed amendments would reduce the number of acts against detainees that are subject
to criminal prosecution. Bush seems most concerned about Common Article 3 that bars "outrages
upon personal dignity, in particular humiliating and degrading treatment."

I know the answer to that:
Bush, in his feeble mind, is still exploding frogs in a creek in west Texas.
Like other serial killers, Bush started with animals and now has graduated to human beings.


Subject: Snakes on a Plane!

Snakes on a Plane is HILARIOUS!
I have never had so much fun at a movie!!!

It was sold out, and full of SOAP geeks!  It was like being at a midnight show of  Rocky Horror.
I've never laughed so hard in the first 15 minutes of a  movie. I was CRYING, I was laughing so hard.
It's like a parody of a B  movie (but played completely straight which is why it's so f-ing hilarious)
with an A-List actor (Samuel L. Jackson) in a film with the GREATEST TITLE OF ALL TIME.

I don't know if it would have been as great an experience had it not  been for the audience.
It was the most interactive/ participatory movie event I've been to in YEARS.

People SCREAMING/ hissing at the screen!
Every time there were snakes, or SLJ opened  his mouth, people cheered!
When he said, "I am tired of all  these muthafuckingsnakes on this muthafuckingplane,"
everyone jumped to their feet and CHEERED!    IT WAS FUN!!!

The film KNOWS it's camp, and plays on that BIG TIME.
Going for classic camera angles, music, etc.... this film has the biggest  collection of one-liners EVER.

Tally,  movie critic


If only the Democrats would speak up...

Rules of Engagement

The rules posted on the wall of the Marine base in Barwana
concisely summed up the American predicament in Iraq:
Be polite,
be professional,
have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

If we're there to kill everyone we meet.
wouldn't it be cheaper (in lives) to just come home?


Quotes about a Coward

"Bush goes in the back way the same way as the banana republic dictators."
     --Charles Lane, comparing Bush to Nicaragua's Somoza, who was so loathed
        he had to sneak in all public places through back entrances,  Link

"I think he's very consistent with his cowardice.
  He never sees us, so he thinks everyone supports him."
     --Todd Baxter, on Bush hiding from the public,    Link


Subject: your Mideast solution

Don't know if you have heard, but there is a fine comedian out there named Tim Bedore 
(not sure of spelling) that is touting "his" solution to the mideast conflict.  

It sounds exactly like your except he uses, instead of Oklahoma, all of Nevada
except Vegas and Reno, as "they have done very well with deserts in the past".  

Jim, as time goes by, I expect everyone to agree with me.
My solution solves every problem but religious insanity.


That Olathe corn from western Colorado continues to totally rock.
It's late August and I'm still Sonny on the Causeway!

Arms dealers 'making a killing'

The estimated costs for the development of major weapons systems for the US military
have doubled since Bush's 9-11 surprise, with a trillion-dollar price tag for new planes, ships,
and missiles that would have little direct role in the fight against insurgents in Afghanistan and Iraq.

The soaring cost estimates have led to concerns that congressional supporters of multibillion-dollar
weapons programs, the Pentagon , and the defense industry are using 9-11 and Bush's phony
"war on terrorism" to fulfill a wish-list of defense expenditures, needed or not.

Gee, I'm shocked.
You mean someone thought Bush would lie us into a major world war and not make a profit?

Looks like more people need to be reading


 Hempfest Seattle

 Randi Rhodes wasn't on Friday because she MC'd the event.

 I always find out about these things after the fact.
 Next time, could somebody remember to tell me a couple of months in advance?


Subject: Arianna

Bart, why does Arianna have such a vendetta against the Clintons?

Good question.
If she has a heart, she has to know She would be better for America and the world
than another four years of Der Monkey promoting rape, murder, invasions, and pillaging.

My guess is money.
Right now, you can make tons of money by slamming the Clintons
no matter how much it helps the Fascist Republicans with their plans.

It's as if Arianna really still belongs to and supports the crazy right-wing.
Jealousy is such a dangerous thing; anyhow, doesn't she have enought
to write about Bush-Chency-Lieberman team of terror?

I keep asking the same question about Molly, Sirota, Doud, Kos and the rest.
Maybe if Bush did something outrageous, they'd write about him instead of Her.

Also, why do you think Scarborough is starting to slam Bush the idiot?

I believe that's the wrong question - the right question is, "Why is Scarborough
the only one with the brains to admit that backing Bush is a losing gamble?"

Because I'm old enough to remember, I keep comparing this to Vietnam.
In the 70s, seems like every week another politician would open his eyes, change his mind and say,
"I no longer believe in this unwinnable war - it's time we brought the boys home,"
but even tho that's what the majority of people want, most elected officials, and Democrats,
have failed to do the right thing - even when it's going to make them look good.

And Hagel's come close, but the first prominent Republican who says,
"Bush policies have failed and we need to change direction to save our country,"
will be the front-runner for 2008, with the people if not with the RNC.

You're so good at smacking down the monkeys, so keep up the good work.
 Withheld in Missouri


Richard Bartholomew wins Cartoon Contest


Richard Bartholomew's  "Exit Strategy" won the top prize in the 26th Annual Homer Davenport
Cartoon Contest in Silverton, Oregon. Last year, Bartholomew won both the "People's Choice Award"
with "Identity Theft," and 3rd place with "Social Security," which was also selected for "Best Editorial
Cartoons of the Year: 2006 Edition."

 See more of Richard's work.



"There are no hereditary kings in America
   and no powers not created by the Constitution."
    -- Judge Anne Diggs Taylor, slapping Der Monkey for his
        illegal power grab because the Democrats wouldn't  Link

With 2/3 of the country against the war, with Der Monkey's approval at 34%,
Democrats are STILL afraid to stand up to the retarded schoolyard bully.


Driving while O'Reillying

Subject: JoeNoMo

Has anyone else had the thought that if Joe (R-Sumbitch) had fought half this hard six years ago,
he'd be halfway through his second term as Al Gore's VP and the undisputed frontrunner for 2008?

 Eddy the Pillar

...and we'd be riding in electric cars, the WTC would still be standing,
there'd be no World War III and the Cubs woulda won a World Series by now.


How a Fascist reads the NY Whore Times

(Run your cursor over a headline)

Four years for penis-pump Okie judge


A former judge convicted of exposing himself while presiding over jury trials by using
a sexual device under his robe was sentenced Friday to four years in prison.
Donald Thompson had spent almost 23 years on the bench.

His former court reporter said she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during a 2003 murder trial.
A whooshing sound could be heard on the court reporter's audiotape of the trial.


Subject: Lisa's  WPE shirt

I really liked the modified WPE worn by Lisa in the last issue.

You might want to consider such a shirt for sale.
I suggest you use yellow for the face of the cowardly, AWOL Worst President Ever.


The net's best advertising deal

Reach over twenty people per penny.

 advertise on

Fear Finally Strikes Out

The results are in for the White House's latest effort to exploit terrorism for political gain: the era of 
Americans' fearing fear itself is over. In each poll released since the foiling of the trans-Atlantic terror 
plot - Bush's approval rating remains stuck in the 30s, just as it has been with little letup in the year 
since Bush Katrina disaster. While the new Middle East promised by Condi Rice remains a delusion, 
the death rattle of the domestic political order we've lived with since 9/11 can be found everywhere: 
in Americans' unhysterical reaction to the terror plot, in politicians' and pundits' hysterical overreaction 
to Lieberman's defeat, even in the ho-hum box-office reaction to Oliver Stone's World Trade Center.


"Try Rove for Treason!"
  Cindy disrupts Bush's Goebbels gathering

Austin, Texas - Chanting "Try Rove for treason," Cindy Sheehan and more than 50 other
war protesters disrupted a reception before Karl Rove spoke at a fundraiser Saturday.

One woman was arrested during a scuffle with police after Sheehan and friends rushed
toward the closed doors and kept chanting loudly after the guests went into the dinner.
Rove was speaking to the Associated Fascists of Texas. He was not in there at the time.

"I want him arrested. He planned the [fake] war that killed my son," Sheehan told officers
guarding the door. Sheehan's oldest son Casey was killed in Iraq in 2004. ush


Subject: Rush on Jimmy Carter

Bart -

Dead on, bro.  This idiot worships Der Monkey, and says stuff like this and NOBODY
in his audience can get through to point out facts about how wrong he is.
His boys won't let calls like that through, so why try?

He's a coward who can't take a challenge from non-dittoheads.

And yet, he gets a solid three hours here in Des Moines, and is followed up by a guy for ANOTHER
three hours who sounds like he's wearing a white sheet. And a three hour morning guy who sounds a
little more reasonable, put puts the sheet on when it suits him (so to speak).

All this, and Faux News at the top of each hour, and it's called "Des Moines' News Station"!!!
If it weren't for the best corn-on-the-cob in the whole damn country, I'd leave.

Keep swingin' that damn hammer - I can hear the dents!
 Mike in Des Moines

Dude, it's the same way in Tulsa.
We get Nazi hate from 6-9AM, then more Nazi hate from 9AM-noon, then the vulgar Pigboy spew
Nazi hate from 1-4, then Hannity the Fascist from 4-7, then some other Nazi from 7 to10 - non-stop.

Before we had the FF miles, we would sometimes drive to Vegas.
Tulsa was all Nazi hate.
Oklahoma City was all Nazi hate.
Western Oklahoma was all Nazi hate.
Amarillo was all Nazi hate.
Albuquerque was all Nazi hate.
Gallup was all Nazi hate.
Flagstaff was all Nazi hate.

Same for going to Colorado.
Wichita was all Nazi hate.
Western Kansas was all Nazi hate.
Denver was all Nazi hate.
Boulder was all Nazi hate.

Nazi hate, from sea to shining sea.

I wish I could get on the air somewhere following Rush.
I could replay his first hour, every day, and list the lies and then tell the truth.
I think it'd be damn entertaining - for a few weeks, at least.


Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

TIME poll

She Has Highest Favorable Rating of All Democratic Frontrunners

Looks like Molly, MoDo, Kos, Arianna etc need to step up the attack.


Subject: what I think happened

(By someone who says she knew Patsy Ramsey)



The Shatner roast on Comedy Central was a riot.
Catch the replay all week.

The next pro-war Democrat to fall?
 by another liar who really, really hates the Clintons

Joe Lieberman's sorry hide has been nailed to the wall, and there is rejoicing in the land
(except from the political hacks who make up the permanent occupation force of Washington).

And while I am pleased to see a discredited, humiliated Lieberman forced to cast his lot in
with his friends in the Republican Party, I won't be completely convinced that the revolution
is here until Hillary Clinton's hide is nailed to the wall beside Joe's.

Will we ever see an intelligently written column about Her?
If she's that bad, why can't they tell the truth when "exposing" Her?
Is she so perfect that name-calling is their only workable tactic?

This guy is entitled to his own opinion, but he's another in a long line of fools who claims
to have been inside Her head and truly knows Her innermost thoughts and motivations.

The real test as to whether there is a shift in the Democratic Party is how Clinton fares
in the New York primary on Sept. 12. Will she too be punished by voters for trying to
have it both ways on Iraq, or will she get a free ride to a second term in the Senate?

First, she's going to win re-election big-time, which pops this idiot's argument.
According to him, that means the nation is pro-war, which it no longer is.
Like an idiot, he's gambling his position on certain defeat.

His second sentence, if he came to this argument with clean hands, could've been,
"Is she popular enough in New York to overcome her go-to-war vote?"
but there's not enough hate in that sentence, so he added that "free ride" shit
to make it sound like she just robbed somebody.  Like most haters, he pretends
Her position on Iraq is identical to Kissyface ie "This war is going great!"
He knows that's not true, but you can make more money if you lie about Her.

They say to win, you have to please your party in the primary, then run towards the center
for the general election.  The wants-to-lose Democrats insist that she pin herself to that
left wall so it can be used against her in November. She's smarter than that.

They've chained her, they've hooded her, they've tied her feet to a pulley.
They're lowering her into the water-torture tank, and America wonders - can she escape?

 ha ha

If only people were willing to put their money where their hatred is.



Subject: Bush to Steal Millions from Pensions

You want to know how Bush is going to steal millions?   There are a couple of clues…

The article states that defined benefit plans (pensions) are horribly underfunded…and that is true.
It is what happened to Bethlehem Steel, because they gave bonuses and perks to upper management
without funding the pension plan, and then when business slumped and their retiree roles grew, they
were unable to meet obligations, causing them to go into bankruptcy (US Steel funded their pensions
and that is why they are still alive and well).  It is good news that the administration is at least making
noise about getting those obligations funded…but I doubt it will be much more than lip service.

The key to the theft in the bill is found in the following - "The law lets employers automatically enroll
workers in 401(k) plans. In addition, there is a mechanism to increase gradually the amount saved,
and employers are encouraged to match some of the dollars that workers stash away".  You see,
this is one of the Enron issues…and that is in a 401(k), all investments are under the name of the
company, not the individual participants.  401(k) plans have a 'Third Party Administrator' who
keeps track of which portion belongs to the employee and which portion belongs to the company
and how much of the company's contributions are vested.  However, from the outside it appears
as though the entire retirement account belongs to the company and as such can be used as
collateral in loans or corporate bonds.

Without seeing all the provisions in the law, it would be difficult to speculate whether or not the
employer could withhold some of the employees wages as part of their 'mandatory enrollment',
but even without that provision, it would allow the corporations to contribute funds, deduct said
funds from taxable income, and then use those funds to payback loans if they go to into default.
In other words, they could basically shelter those funds from corporate income taxes, take out
loans to fund options and bonuses for upper management, then default on the loans and use
those tax free funds to pay back the debentures.

Keep up the good fight!

As always, I didn't have time to get into but I know two things:
If Bush says he's going to "reform" something, that means they're going to steal it.
Bush gave companies SEVEN YEARS to comply

That means they're going to rape it silly for seven years. 

Then, when all the money is gone, they'll say, "We have a problem, 
and we don't have a magic wand that can make the money magically reappear, 
so let's not get into the blame game. Let's look forward."

...and the Democrats will say, "It's not our place to question the president."

       "Bart, you always suspect the worst of our president!"



"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to
persist in delusion, no matter how satisfying and reassuring."
- Carl Sagan

 Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2003 Halliburton Upgrade)

 Iraq oil output up to 2.5M barrels per day
 times today's oil price which is going to $100 a barrel
makes $250,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

You heard it here first.
Oil is going to $100 a barrel, then to $200

No wonder they were so eager to start a war

Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2605....2607 American victims


By Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Bush will have killed
more Americans than his old partner Osama.

               Official Bartcop Chinaco Anejo shotglasses
                           Photography by Andrew Estes

These shotglasses are sweet.
In a room with many lights, they sparkle like a fine diamond.

"These glasses really do shine in broad light," says the photographer.

We located the highest quality shotglasses available on the web.
The gold is real gold.

You can get a set of four for just $35.
If you just need two, get them for just $25.

 Get Chinaco shotglasses Here We take credit cards

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Gay question

I saw an old movie with Lance Bass kissing the fabulous Emmannuelle Chriqui.
He looked like he was into it, but he was gay at the time so I wondered...

Do gay guys cringe at the thought of kissing a girl the way a straight guy
might balk at playing a Brokeback Mountain role?

I know it's a dumb question, but who else would I ask?


Network of Fear Mongering
 by Jon Stewart



Pundits denounce Der Monkey


For 10 minutes, the caption across the bottom of the television screen read, "IS BUSH AN 'IDIOT'?" 
But the host was no liberal media elitist. It was right-wing handjob Joe Scarborough. And his answer to 
the captioned question was hardly "no." While other presidents have been called stupid, Scarborough said:
'I think George Bush is in a league by himself. I don't think he has the intellectual depth as these other people.'"

So we ask again - why is Scarborough the only guy on TV smart enough to realize that Bush is in big trouble 
and it's OK now to tell the truth about him?  The first people to wake the hell up will come out winners.


Overcoming Masturbation


Step 4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. 
                  Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- long enough to bathe 


Subject: Imus

I'm so old I can remember when Imus used to be funny. Now he's disgusting.  
Every time I flip through the channel and see his ugly leathered face looking like 
a cow chewing its cud with that ridiculous cowboy hat on, it reminds me of the old joke:
Question: What do cowboy hats and hemorrhoids have in common?
Answer:  You only find them on assholes. 
Imus adds legitimacy to that joke!


Party at the Palms, Sept 16
 Tickets are still available - first come, first tequila!

 Tequila update - Info

Remember - you need a number to get in.
When we run out of numbers, we're full.


Brooke Burke Engaged


Former Baywatch star David Charvet and TV's Brooke Burke 

are getting married and expecting a child together


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We know you work hard for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each month.

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