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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.


Thursday   Oct 26, 2006  Vol 1864 - Monkey non-grata

Vote Democrat to save America on Nov 7th

Quote of the Day

"Democrats seek to exploit the war 
   to gain electoral advantage." 
     --Elizabeth Dole,    Link

 Translation: Everybody hates Bush's bloody quagmire 
 and voters will punish the GOP for not stopping him.

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Orig Oct Surprise 
Pigboy's Cruelty 
Cash yes - Press no 
Questions about Her
Strangle yo mistress
BFEE and Enron 
NYWTimes lies again 
Random thought... 
Ashley Judd movie



Separate the BFEE
from our Treasury



"The Republicans have horribly botched our entire foreign policy. The Iraq war has been 
  nothing but one lie after another after another after another after another. After another. 
  And in the process, we've multiplied terrorism severalfold. We've allowed the Taliban to 
  return and prosper in a fed-up Afghanistan. We've literally destroyed two countries under 
  the false banner of "Spreading Democracy."...Almost 2800 dead American soldiers. 
  And it was all supposed to avenge 9-11, but your party avoided the guy who did it. 
  So yeah, Elizabeth Dole. Tough shit if you can't handle it, babe." 
       -- Hoffmania,   Link

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The Original October Surprise
  by Robert Parry

As we head toward a pivotal election on Nov. 7, both Republicans and Democrats are worried 
about the prospect of an 'October Surprise' that could alter the political dynamic in the next two weeks.

Though last-minute campaign surprises are probably as old as democracy itself, the phrase in its modern 
usage dates back just over a quarter century to 1980 when Carter was seeking the freedom of 52 
American hostages in Iran. Then-vice presidential candidate George H.W. Bush fretted publicly that 
a hostage release might be an 'October Surprise' that would catapult Carter to reelection.

Ironically, however, the 1980 'October Surprise' controversy came to refer to an alleged dirty trick 
by Bush and other Republicans that thwarted Carter from gaining the hostages' freedom. Carter's failure 
propelled Ronald Reagan and George Bush Sr. to a landslide victory.

Arguably, the "October Surprise" of 1980 ushered in the modern era of GOP dominance, with the 12 years 
of the Reagan-Bush administrations. Arguably, too, the Democrats' failure in December 1992 to get the truth
out about the Republican chicanery set the stage for the Right's congressional resurgence in 1994 and for 
today's George W. Bush Era.

So, given the importance of the 1980 election in shaping today's political terrain - and given the current 
interest in what might happen in the days ahead - we are publishing a series about the original October 
Surprise adapted from Secrecy & Privilege: Rise of the Bush Dynasty from Watergate to Iraq:

Stupid Americans can't grasp that the BFEE fought to help the Iranians keep our hostages longer.
That should've burned the Bush name in American politics for all time, but Yanks just can't think right.
They either don't know that happened or don't believe the facts in front of their damn eyes.

The Bushes have always worked with terrorists, against America, for profit.
That's how they got in bed with Hitler, Saddam. Osama, Noriega, Hezzbollah, etc etc etc.

Why do you think we have almost 3,000 dead soldiers in Iraq today?
Because the Bush family knows how to make a profit from dead Americans.

Note: is the most important site on the internet

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Used with permission


"It is downright mean to mislead people who suffer from horrible diseases that there
  is a [stem cell] cure around the corner -- if only Republicans could be defeated."
     -- Rush the Ann Coulter wannabe,

Hey Rush, that $2.3 billion Bush spends every week killing Old Testament people?
If we put that into stem cell research instead of murder and torture, I'll bet we'd take
giant steps towards curing or managing a lot of diseases by next Chruistmas.

Think we'll be out of Iraq by then?

Why spend money to help people when you can be a Republican
and use that money to kill people?

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Bush slapped hard with
"Stay the course" video

The Vulgar Pigboy's Cruelty

Rush Limbaugh has proven time and again what a nasty bully he can be. Remember his insult to
Chelsea Clinton, calling her trhe White House dog when she was just a child? And his racist musings 
on whether black men were equipped to play quarterback? 

However, Limbaugh sank to a new low by mocking Michael J. Fox and his Parkinson's battle.

It's hard to say the vulgar Pigboy, "sun to a new low," because all he has are lows.
He's never done a decent thing in his life. he was born to be the vulgar Pigboy.

His father was a personal insult, his mother was a racial slur.
He gets paid by the slur and he's a very, very wealthy man.

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"The current American what the insurgents intend with their October violence. 
  They feed the perception that the violence is intractable. They want our election to be a 
  referendum on Iraq that will speed the pace of American withdrawal...Bush hasn't helped 
  with indecision, asserting on one day that we must avoid 'cut-and-run' while leaking that 
  the Baker-Whitewash report might be a strategic retreat.  Bush's own advisers seem to be 
  well along in their own electoral run for cover." 
    --Whore Street Journal, saying a vote against Godly Bush is a vote for terror,  Link

The Whore Street Journal loves this belligerent Monkey and his fake, bloody war.
Look at Exxon profits, look at the war-machine profits.
Who cares if thousands of soldiers are dying for nothing?
There's money to be made, so screw those mooks falling into the meat grinder.

        "Call me when the stock splits!"

Exxon Mobil makes $10B profit in 90 days 
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


$100M a day - all profit -
because Bush started a fake war!

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Get t-shirts Here


Halloween Special - Three for $60
(Must be shipped to same address)

We have a few shot glasses left.

Subject: Pelosi

Bart, is she the most tone-deaf politician in America? 
She doesn't recognize that she works for us?
SHE has decided to ignore a traitor. 

Can you imagine your new police chief saying that he isn't interested 
in pursuing outstanding warrants because he has better things to do? 

She could have said that there will be investigations, that she can't
predict the outcome but will abide by the findings of Congress. 

But she's too giddy about her anticipated new curtains!

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GOP pumpkin and his Democratic friend

Cash? Yes!  Pictures & press? Not so much...
 Nobody wants to be seen with Der Murder Monkey

Bush has become the Stealth Campaigner.

Candidates across the country, especially those in tight races where the president's power to draw cash
is most valuable, want him to drop by for a fundraiser. They just don't want their picture taken with him
- mainly because they know it will end up in their opponents' television commercials.

 ha ha

So far this year, Mr. Bush has done 10 times as many closed-press events compared to 2002.
He has also not appeared at a single major Republican rally, unlike 2002, when he did 32.
"What a difference a few years makes," said a Democrat. 'Republicans take his cash,
but when it comes to photo-ops and campaign stops, Bush is monkey non grata
Clearly, President Bush is toxic to many of the candidates across the country.'"

He's President Poison.
What took you guys so long to catch up?

   "He poisoned my Daddy.
    He came home dead..."

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Questions about Her
 She has to win Kerry's states plus one more

Will she run? Can she win? The fact that virtually every American voter knows who the "she" is 
means that name recognition will not be a problem if She decides to become the first woman president.
History shows that she is able to woo agnostics and even naysayers. That is how she wound up with a 
Senate seat in a state to which she had only recently moved.  She bested her opponent by 12 points 
because she won over some Republicans and independents and upstate residents. And she carried the 
women's vote by 60 percent, even though pundits loved to parrot anecdotal evidence suggesting women 
were put off by her decision to stand by her husband.

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Subject: 'Lost' and Democrats

"Lost" is a perfect example of the Idiiot Plot, as Roger Ebert explained it. 
The story only works if everybody is an idiot.

Those people imprisoned by The Others are idiots. 
They have been captured by people who are their enemies. 
But they aren't trying to fight them or out-think them. 
The Others aren't just kicking their asses; they're trying to control their minds.

When that doctor guy had managed to escape, he didn't knock out the woman guarding him. 
He took her along. She whined and wheedled him all the way. 
When he came to a door, he was told "Open that and we'll all die." 

Well, he did, and the ocean (supposedly) came in. Did he try to swim out the door?
Or wait until the room filled with water and then try to swim out? 
No - he shut the door and let them lock him back up!

The supposedly tough convict outside in the "bear cage" gave in this week 
because he thought they'd planted a bomb in his chest. End of episode, they told him 
that it was a lie and he swallowed it. Tough Convict didn't have the nerve to try to 
make a run for it at episode end, to try to dive off the cliff and get away.

Didn't any of these jerks ever want freedom so bad that they'd fight for it
no matter what - or do they prefer to remain slaves?

That's what angers me about "Lost." 
These people are acting just like Kerry and the Democratic Party. 

They don't have the courage to fight for what they want, against an enemy 
that wants to kill them or destroy their souls. 

The Others are The Republicans. 
The people who should be fighting them are straight out of an Idiot Plot.


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"The best news in the field.'

Subject: yesterday's link

Bart, I clicked on that  link, and saw this lady dancing.

Is she saying, "Bartcop?"

I can't hear a thing.

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"So I will bigly, hugely admit that I was wrong, and I will apologize to Michael J. Fox, 
  if I am wrong in characterizing his behavior on this commercial as an act.
  People tell me they have seen him this way on other interviews and TV appearances."
      -- The vulgar Pigboy, pretending to apologize without apologizing.  Link

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Bush's Economy
 by Molly Ivins

One attorney sums up the legislation's impact:
"It's designed to make life miserable for anybody who owes money.
 It's a help-the-banks, squish-the-little-guy law."

Bush's remarkably good economy is only good for the richest -- for the rest of us, incomes are stagnant
and education and health care costs are skyrocketing. The Republican Congress blindly rubber-stamps
policies designed to help only a few. Are you better off than you were six years ago?"

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"I told you the big guns would be aimed at me today, and that is the case. 
  You have to understand who I am to these people. They ought to hate my guts. 
  They used to have a monopoly. It makes total sense they would despise me." 
     - Rush the vulgar Pigboy, apparently talking about the hundreds of Rush wannabes 
        that spew hate on every radio station in America except the ones run by AAR

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Strangling your mistress
 It's almost always a bad campaign move

Carol Sherwood, the wife of GOP Rep. Don Sherwood, has sent a letter to constituents.
The letter appears to be a last-ditch effort to get Carney to stop making a campaign issue
out of allegations that Sherwood had a five-year-affair with a younger woman and abused
his mistress. a Sherwood spokesman said that the letter didn't reflect "campaign strategy."
But it was paid for by the Sherwood campaign and sent mainly to registered Republicans. 

...and Bush held a special fund-raiser for this mistress-choking scumbag.

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 Want to trade links?

The link page is bigger than ever,
thanks to Chicago Jim

Send e-mail to Bart

Put "Link me" in the subject header.
Maybe mention what section you belong in - news, humor, etc

Your link will be seen by dozens


"Things have become so dire for the GOP that Bush is cutting and running from Bush. 
  A presidency built on message discipline ('Stay the course') is trying to salvage itself 
  with un-messaging ('No more stay the course')" 
      - Maureen Dowd, opportunistic whore, Link

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Subject: Suzanna Hoffs

I always liked Susanna Hoffs too, but your link so named in Wednesday's
issue didn't seem to link anywhere: "Access Forbidden", it says.  What is
it supposed to be, a Bangles video? or maybe Ming Tea?

Roger, the link works, the problem must be on your end.
Or maybe your employer blocked all youtube files?

It's a super-hot version of "Feel Like Makin' Love."
If you like Hoffs, you gotta see this video.

Note: You can spend days at
Punch in "Bush parody" and go crazy.
Punch in your favorite (or most hated) stars or bands and just go crazy.

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If they hate gays so much,
why put a gay guy in charge 
of the Republican party?

The BFEE and Enron

I'm not thrilled over Jeffrey Skilling getting 24 years in prison for his role in the Enron scandal.
While he and fellow Kenneth Lay were clearly guilty, the handling of this case by the Bush Justice
Department is a functional coverup of the Bush family's role in enabling these crimes.  The victims
deserve better. By focusing on narrowly drawn criminal charges and the public's wrath against Skilling
and "Kenny Boy" - the culpability of the president's family in this sordid saga is being whitewashed.
How convenient to close the book without considering the ties between the Enron perps and those
in two Bush presidencies whose actions enabled these hustlers.

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Subject: Clinton fundraiser

Bart...attended a fundraiser tues. evening...
the big dog....he held my hand twice and i told him.... 
"we miss you bill,... we miss you bill"

there were so many cameras flashing in his face 
his eyes were rich in depth...he had an aura...he was saint clinton.....

oh god i will never forget
cathy b in louisville

I'd like to meet him, too.
I need to shed my nobody status to make that happen.

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The net's best advertising deal

 advertise on

Mike Malloy Returns Monday  has more details.

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NYWTimes lies for Kissyface
 We lied, we got caught, so here's the truth


Kissyface has used "stay the course" several times in discussing the war in Iraq in recent years, 
contrary to an article published Tuesday in The New York Whore Times. The article used a 
database to analyze Kissyface's comments since 2001.  It said Ned Lamont frequently criticized 
Kissyface for being a Bush suck-ass puppet on Iraq, and said that in the statements reviewed, 
Kissyface never actually uttered that phrase.

In fact, Kissyface used the phrase more than a half-dozen times over the last two years, 
during debates and interviews - including several instances that were in the Times database.

Why does the NYWTimes have to lie for Kissyface?
Why did they leave the facts and fabricate a story that helped Kissyface?

I'm so old, I remember when you could trust The Old Gray Lady.
Now she's just an aging whore that'll do anything for a nickel bag.

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Subject: Good as gold

In England, from 1717 to 1930 there was no inflation. 
This is because Sir Isaac Newton, as Master of the Mint, established the pound sterling in terms of gold. 

In the United States, the dollar-gold ratio was established in 1792 and except for the Civil War period
and briefly during World War I, the dollar remained convertible into gold. The experience with prices 
was the same as in England. The wholesale-price index was the same in 1930 as it was in 1800. 
There was no inflation in America for 130 years and none in England for over 200 years.

Inflation followed Roosevelt's devaluation of the dollar in 1934, from $20.67 to the ounce to $35; 
but the chronic inflation did not begin until the dollar-gold link was finally severed in the seventies. (Nixon)

History tells us that one of the keys to prosperity for everyone is partly assured by a solid, non-inflating dollar. 
Today our dollars are gradually becoming worth less - inflating.

This is because to pay bills, the government is printing more of them instead of raising taxes.
Gold backed currency cannot be inflated. Our fiat currency can. 
We need to return to sound commodity -based money.

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 Minor Flood at Casa de Bart

 Click  Here  to sponsor a $4 square foot of the floor of Casa be Bart

 Click  Here  to sponsor three square feet of Casa be Bart  for just $10!  (cheap)

 Thanks, you can send that to

 I didn't think we'd have a page today,
 but it didn't take long to tear up Mrs. Bart's wood floor.

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Marty's Entertainment Page

always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

BFEE to buy LA Times, Chicago Trib?

The Tribune Co., publisher of the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune, may sell the company,
asking private-equity firms, including one run by America's criminal president, to submit nonbinding
indications of interest by the end of the month, according to a report from The Whore Street Journal.

The BFEE has more money than the Mint and God combined.
They can buy every paper in the country if they want.

They've been stealing $200M-$300M a day since they started their fake war.
The billions that Halliburton is stealing are pennies compared to the big picture.


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Subject: "We've Never been Stay the Course"

Bush is finally giving up, declaring "We've Never been Stay the Course". 
His message now is that when something isn't working, try something different. 

That's something I agree with and that's why I'm voting for the Democrats. 
When you're heading in the wrong direction - turn around. 
Even Bush finally  gets it.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

Note: Perkel has two homes.
One in San Bruno, one in San Francisco.

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Hack the Vote
  by Jake Tapper at ABC News

Cheryl Kagan was shocked when she opened her mail Wednesday morning.

Inside, she discovered three computer discs. With them was an anonymous letter saying the discs
contained the secret source code for vote-counting that could be used to alter the votes cast
through Maryland's new electronic voting machines.

"My understanding is that with these disks a malicious person could skew the outcome of an election," Kagan said.

Diebold, the company that makes the voting machines, told ABC News,
"These discs do not alter the security of the Diebold touch-screen system in any way,"
because election workers can set their own passwords.

But ABC News has obtained an independent report that says the original
Diebold factory passwords are still being used on many voting machines.

How many times did we tell the Democrats to look into this?

         "Bart, no need - we know the Republicans are honest!"

At Bush's lie conference Wednesday, he mentioned that "some politicians" are so
certain of victory that they're picking out the colors of the drapes they plan to order.

Does this mean he's reading the paper?

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I always liked Gwen Stefani

 Iraq pumped 3.5M barrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100 a barrel
makes $350,000,000 Bush will steal every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

stealing  $350,000,000 every day.

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days 
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...

2803....2809 American victims

Bush killed  6  more soldiers since yesterday,
but that's OK because

Exxon made $100M just yesterday

Why are the military families so silent?
Do they still think their loved ones died for a reason?
What would that reason be?

Exxon made $100M just yesterday

 Meanwhile, Bush's war costs taxpayers $2 billion a week.
He's the greatest president ever - if you have oil stocks.

Bush has killed more
Americans than Osama.


"Armed with guitars, amps and attitude, the Clash
  rocked the casbah, fought the law and hijacked a train in vain.
     -- Tom Withers, King of the Shithead Cliche Monkeys and Whore AP writer, Link

I hate it when some half-wit (And that's ME calling him that) tries to get f-ing cute.
He can't give you the news, he can't give you the facts, no, he's gotta be cute.
He wants you to know that he knows the names of 3 Clash songs.
Gee, wish *I* had access to a Clash Discography

Tom, that comedy writer's hat on your heat?
It's actually a pile of dog shit.
Take off the "hat," Tom.

Who did you blow to get this job - Goofy?
If I was within a few yards, I'd slap you.

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October Special

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and double CD BCR 96
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and double CD  BCR 98
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PayPal to
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No livestock or stamps, please.

Random thought...

If they had listened to me...

Months ago, when Coulter slimed the 9-11 Widows, we talked about their nasty hate against them.
We talked about making Rush's words and Coulter's words equal Bush's words just so
we could watch Der Fuhrer squirm when asked to comment on their hateful shinola.

A Wednesday's press conference, someone could've asked,
"Mr President, do you agree with Rush that Michael J. Fox is faking it?
 And does Rush speak for you, or your party with such accusations?"

He's either going to refuse to answer or he'll denounce Rush's words.
If he says, "I don't know" that's as good as a slap, so the trap is fool-proof.

So either he looks like a weasel who can't talk straight - or he slaps Rush.

If he slaps Rush, the vulgar Pigboy might be stupid enough to slap back,
and then we'd have a GOP civil war going into the dumper while we party.

We could sit back - smoke one - watch the Fascists destroy themselves.

But no, ...they don't listen to me.

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Is Cardinals manager Tony La Russa a Democrat?


Rather than demand a mound inspection during the first inning - when cameras captured 
Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers cheating with pine tar - La Russa merely asked the umpires 
to make sure Rogers washed his cheating hands before returning to the mound.

"I decided I was not going to be part of the bullshit of asking the umpire to go to
the mound and undress the pitcher," he said.

La Russa knew Rogers was cheating, based on his video review of Rogers' pitching. 
Why not try for the ejection and possible suspension of Detroit's top postseason pitcher?

"I thought the way to handle that situation was to get it fixed so we could play the game," 
La Russa said. "I have no regrets. We got it fixed but we couldn't beat him."

TV Stuff

It's all repeats tonight, 'cept for Ugly Betty (they say it's good) and baseball.

It's been raining in Tulsa for a while, St Louis might get rained out again tonight,
but thank Koresh for this beautiful weather - 50 degrees, cloudy and rain.
It's the perfect kind of stay-home-and-be-irresponsible weather I love.

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Subject: playing fair / worst congress ever / bart's rules

dude... i THINK i sensed in pelosi on 60 minutes that she was using your rule 
of lying in a political campaign re not unloading on the repedocons in order to 
keep her powder dry and keep the hysteria down until after winning enough seats 
to make the hysteria not matter anymore
 sugar moes

Could be, but Pelosi is also the "I'm measuring for drapes lady."
Let's hope I'm wrong about Nov 7th.

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The UPS man arrived...

Not with gold, not with frankincense, not with muhr...
(I haven't had any good muhr since Reagan invaded Lebanon in 1982)

The UPS man arrived with a box of the South's Finest Milk Chocoloate.

Their chocolate has Mouthfeel

Fine milk chocolate should feel creamy and melt smoothly across the palate. 
The extra fine creamy texture is achieved by conching (agitation/blending) ingredients. 
The longer the conching, the creamier the chocolate. 

Thank you, God, for The South's Finest Candy Company..

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Ashley Judd's new movie
'Come Early Morning'


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