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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR 126 is here!

Tuesday Sept 18, 2007  Vol 2039 - Laughs from Hell

Quote of the Day

"The cockiest guy I ever met in my life." 
    --Former Mexican President Vicente Fox, 
      describing Der Fuhrer in his memoir,  Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Bush-Osama Symbiosis
Arrow Republicans hate Blacks? 
Arrow Nebraska senator sues God HOT
Arrow GOP Child Sex Sting HOT
Arrow Dateline's Predator HOT
Arrow Young, Stevens - Guilty
Arrow Catholics vs Kathy Griffin 
Arrow Today's Westmoreland 
Arrow Vanessa Hudgens - what?


"I have a slight temper..."


"I don't think I have ever seen the world in such a mess. I believe that Iraq is going to
  go down in history as the greatest disaster in American foreign policy - worse than Vietnam."
     --Madeleine Albright,   Link

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Bush-Osama Symbiosis
  by Robert Parry

In a new video, bin Laden again taunts Bush, the United States and then the Democrats for not forcing
an withdrawal from Iraq, which should help guarantee that the Democrats won't dare press for that withdrawal.
In Sydney, Australia, President Bush then did his part, highlighting bin Laden's Iraq comments:

"On the tape Iraq was mentioned, which is a reminder that Iraq is part of the war against extremists.
al-Qaeda wants to achieve their objectives in Iraq, which is to drive us out."

Except that U.S. intelligence has long concluded that al-Qaeda really wants the opposite: to bog us down
in a hopeless, bloody war in Iraq that has been a boon for recruiting young jihadists, raising money and
protecting al-Qaeda's leadership holed up in base camps inside Pakistan.

Bush made Osama the most famous Muslim "leader" in the world, while Osama gave Bush his 90% 
approval rating, an excuse to rape the Constitution and deny us whichever "unalienable" rights that
Bush wants to steal. Then his old friend sends him a tape whenever he needs a boost.

Osama is like Hyman Roth in Godfather II.
He always made money for his partners.

"Osama is good people..."

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Used with permission


"Bush was very intelligent, razor sharp, warm, focused and was very cool.
  The President of the United States slapped my hand and called me "brutha". Top that."
     -- Matthew Burden, (R-Liar) who's apparently willing to let thousands more soldiers die
         because Bush high-fived him like a four year old and called him "brutha" Link

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Why do Republicans hate Blacks?


Fraud Thompson has become the fourth leading GOP presidential candidate to shun the PBS debate
this month at a historically black college in Baltimore, the Huffington Post has learned.

The debates, moderated by Tavis Smiley, will go on as planned, despite the absence of  well-known
black-haters Thompson, Giuliani, Romney and that crazy McCain bastard. Each campaign cited
"scheduling issues" as the reason for their absence. Nevertheless, the rejections underscore the
consistent absence of GOP candidates at minority voter forums.

"There is a pattern here," Smiley told the Huffington Post. "When you tell every black and brown request
that you get throughout the primary process that 'no, there's a scheduling problem.' That's a pattern...
Are we really supposed to believe that all four of these guys couldn't make it because of scheduling?"

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Our dining room tables are handcrafted individually
by Amish master craftsmen with many long
years of furniture building experience.

A good picture can be worth a thousand words.
You may view many of our photographs on our Flickr Gallery


"My question focused on how national political reconciliation will affect progress
  in the Anbar Province and Fallujah specifically, and the President's answer honestly
  surprised me in its length, level of detail and grasp of events on the ground."
     -- blogger Bill Ardolino, wearing his presidential knee-pads before Bush, Link

 Why don't these bloggers have the brains to tell us lies we might believe?

 "The president was friendly and seemed glad to see us."
 "The president knew of my blog, he was coached well."
 "The president wanted to talk baseball - so we did."
 "The president seemed sincere when he talked of the pain of his war."

 But no, they're so in love with this Fascist ass, they're trying to sell us on his brains?
 Don't they know that ship sailed during the first debate with Gore in 2000?

"Anyone who sat through an hour with this man as I did and came away unconvinced that he sincerely
believes in the message of freedom and the necessity of this fight would have to be crazy. He exudes
sincerity and passion when he speaks of the this mission, and I'm simply baffled by anyone who tries
to claim that it's all politics, or all Halliburton, or all about the oil. Not for the man I saw today, it isn't."
     --  NZ, wearing his presidential knee-pads, too   Link

 How many BJs can Bush handle in one hour?

 Congrats to the White House staff for finding the most star-struck Republicans with computers.
 I wonder how many of them signed up to help in the "fight for civilization itself?"

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Let's pay back Sally Field for speaking out.

Watch Brothers & Sisters this Sunday

Subject: Parents of the fallen

I saw on Rawstory:  A parent whose son was killed in Iraq said that
"it shows disrespect to the troops to protest this war".

That really floored me, because it's really quite the opposite. Those of us who are
wanting this war to end are the very ones who are trying to get the troops to safety.

For a parent to be all right with this war, and still believing in the Bush-Cheney Oil war,
especially after losing a child, seems to me they are showing a lack of respect for the
troops and our country. There's no way in the world I would be willing to lose my sons
or daughter to a farce like that.
 Marian in Missourim

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FKN Facts 9/11 - The Emperors Clothes

I have not heard this, I was told it was good.

Audio - Video

Was OJ set up?
How did the "victims" know to have a tape recorder 
running before Simpson's thugs barged into their room? 

Nebraska senator sues God
Who will he get to serve the subpoena?


State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit against God last week, saying that God has made 
terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread 
death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and 
often criticizes Christians, said he filed the lawsuit to show that anybody can file a frivolous lawsuit.

Paula Jones, call on Line 1.
Larry Klayman, call on Line 2.
Ted Olson, call on Line 3.

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Taser anyone carrying a Greg Palast book

Is torture the remedy for speaking too long?

Audio - Video

Subject: Sally Field censored

If Sally Field had said, "When Republicans are in the White House,
there are no goddamn blowjobs in the oval office." you can BET that not only
would Fox have aired it, they would be airing it ovvr and over and over again.

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Bush 'Kicking Ass' in Congress
 by Robert Parry

Bush reportedly told Australia's deputy prime minister that "we're kicking ass" in Iraq, 
but the pithy tough talk may fit better with what the President is doing to the Democrats in Congress.

To cover their political beating, some Democratic operatives are advising the party's leadership to 
claim a measure of victory when Bush and Gen. David Petraeus agree to make a symbolic troop cut
- perhaps 5,000 - from the current levels of about 172,000.

But a Democratic "victory" declaration would not likely pass the smell test for the party's anti-war base.
When the Democrats won Congress, Bush had about 130,000 American troops in Iraq. The political 
momentum also was in favor of a significant withdrawal of U.S. forces in the near future.

Bush, however, went in the opposite direction. He purged internal dissidents who favored a drawdown 
(including Rumsfeld, Generals Abizaid and Casey) and replaced them with gutless pussies (Bart's words)
Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Gen. David Petraeus.

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Join the Solution



"The Republicans in Congress lost their way.
  They swapped principle for power.
  They ended up with neither."
     -- Alan Greenspan, who, apparently, has recently learned a language people can understand,Link

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Subject: They knew it would be a madhouse

Hey Bart, Gladjerback!

About that article on Blackwater, Bush signed legislation that in effect "No contractors doing business
in Iraq can be tried for ANYTHING...In Iraq or in the US for ANY crime they commit while in-country.

They knew it was going to go to hell and wanted to make sure their Business partners... I mean "constituents"
could be free to cowboy it up.

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Lewd Larry

Audio - Video

From our good friends at

Subject: Osama

We are in Iraq because there is more money to be made there than in Afganistan.
Maybe Osama is getting a piece of the action.

The Bush Family Evil Empire will do business with anyone if they can make a buck.
Hitler, Osama, Saddam, Noriega, Hezzbollah, Hamas - anyone - if they can make a buck.

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Has Karen Hughes gained weight?

Subject: Wes Clark as Sec. Def.


Clark can't be Secretary of Defense. 
He would need to be retired from the  military for ten years.

I've heard that, but I don't get it.
A retired general can go work for Lockheed or a bomb manufacturer
but he can't serve his country when asked by the president?

As far as his surprises there.  They've been friends for years.
Not to mention, his support of depleted uranium, and his history of working for 
The School of the Americas fits well with her neoliberal gestalt.

Hmmm. sounds like you're looking for a left-winger with no military experience for Defense.

I wonder if Ramsey Clark would be interested?

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Bush Prosecutor Pinched In Child Sex Sting
 "Your honor, she might be 5 but she looked older to me..."


An assistant U.S. attorney from Florida was arrested in Detroit on suspicion of traveling 
to Detroit to have sex with a five-year girl. 

John David R. Atchison, 53, was arraigned in Detroit Monday on charges of enticement 
of a minor using the Internet and knowingly traveling interstate to engage in illicit sex.

A lady cop posed as a mother on the Internet offering her five-year-old to Atchinson for sex.

...and since he's a Republican, he whipped out that Gold Card and flew to Detroit.

"You might think my career is over, but
 Bush could still appoint me to something..."

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Subject: You lose

Dear Saint Bart:  Don't you realize that if the Goddess wins you loose? 
Think about it. 

I pray every night before I go to sleep that a human throwback wins the election, 
just so I don't loose you as my role model. 
 A Fan

I've said it many times, a Hillary victory would hurt me, personally, but I don't think this country 
can stand another four years of Fascist bastard-ism, so I may have to take one for the team.

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Click  Here  for t-shirts, shotglasses
bumper stickers, fridge magnets
and pins/buttons.

Get yours before President Cheney invades Iran!
Same style shirts, but with more war-mongering President!

Join the rest of the world!

Click  to  Order

Blogging at BartBlog

We need a team of people to help with the blog.

For instance, every day we get maybe 60 cartoons, but use only 30 or so.
We need someone to post the best toons that we don't have room for on the page.

Blogging is easy, especially if your IQ is greater than 64. 
Why start your own blog for family and friends when you could 
Bart-Blog and be read by dozens the first day?

Blogging is like sex - it works if nobody else is around,
but it's so much more fun with other people involved.

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Subject: MoveOn's Petraeus ad is bad news

Bart, I'm too busy or lazy to sign up on the blog -- I'll try to do better soon -- but I just have to
unburden myself on that God-damnable MoveOn ad juxtaposing Petreus' name with "betray us."

At first I thought so, too, but then I took a closer look at it.

I am appalled at how many of my fellow liberals are defending it. Whatever MoveOn was trying to accomplish,
that ad was STUPID, STUPID, STUPID for the obvious reason that playing games with peoples' names is an
asshole, REPUBLICAN thing to do. It's the cheapest of cheap, juvenile shots, beneath contempt and FAR
beneath any proper national discourse.

I saw it more as an attempt to be cute - that was their real crime.
If his name was "Smith," they wouldn't have used the "betray us" line.

But all they were saying was, "Can we get the truth, please?"
It's not wrong to insist on honest testimony when GOP lies are killing our soldiers.

The ad was unoriginal besides. There isn't a one among us who hadn't thought of that friggin' little play on words
weeks or months before MoveOn spewed it in the Times. But sane adults, and ANYONE with a modicum of
rhetorical awareness, knew NOT TO TOUCH IT.   God damn MoveOn for that ad, and God damn every
phony-ass liberal who defends it. God damn 'em to hell. More than a year out, and we're ALREADY finding
ways to gratuitously throw the fucking election away.

MoveOn, like Kerry, Gore and Sheryl Crow should stay out of the funny business.
When a joke backfires, it can go real bad real quick.

Besides, if the Democrat would ever learn to fight back, every time they throw MoveOn at us,
we should throw back at them the KKK, the abortion bombers and Bob Jones University,
but they don't do that because Democrats can't f-ing think.

Enjoyed Show 126, BTW.

recent new subscriber
Fountain, NC

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Dateline stung over 'Predator' seriesHOT


Does NBC go too far to entrap innocent perverts?

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Male Hotties

By special request.

Women only, please.


"That's going back in history. I don't remember the details of it."
    -- Fred Thompson, asked about Terri Schiavo case from 2005Link

 Is the GOP really going to nominate another brain-dead moron?

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Best cartoon this month?

It should also show Bush withholding their armor.

Greenspan on the Bush bandwagon


When Bush first stole power, it seemed unlikely that he would succeed in getting his tax cuts. 
The questionable nature of his installation in power seemed to leave him in a weak political position, 
while the Senate was evenly balanced between the parties. It was hard to see how a huge, 
controversial tax cut, which delivered most of its benefits to a wealthy elite, could get through Congress.

Then Alan Greenspan testified before the Senate Budget Committee.

Greenspan had warned Clinton not to endanger its hard-won budget surpluses. But now Republicans held 
the White House, and the Greenspan who appeared before the Budget Committee was a very different man.

Suddenly, his greatest concern was to avert the threat that the federal government might pay off all its debt. 
To avoid this awful outcome, he advocated tax cuts. And the floodgates were opened.

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Subject: The war is largely about oil

Alan Greenspan in his book said, "I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient
to acknowledge what everyone knows. The Iraq war is largely about oil."

I think we should fly an Exxon flag and military funerals just for the sake of honesty.
If anyone doubts that this occupation is about oil ask yourself this.
Would we stay in Iraq another day if there wasn't any oil there?
I don't think so. It's still about oil.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA

They say we might be there another 9-10 years.
Do the math - I'll bet BIG OIL estimates they can suck Iraq dry in 10 more years.

Once BIG OIL has fully raped and robbed that backwards country, we'll leave.

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Send e-mail to Bart


"I helped build that park."
   -- FL Rep. Bob Allen, another in the long list of Republicans caught with a penis in his mouth,
       when he was asked what he was doing at Veterans Memorial Park,  Link

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It pays to advertise on

Still at 2006 prices!

Click to get more Hits

Is Britney another O.J.?
 FBI warns of contract out on Federline
 Weeks after her "murder for hire" rant in Vegas


The Firm Dumps Britney
 Her handlers don't want to handle her


Britney's Bad Day in Court
 Bodyguard says she's a drug nut


Chateau Marmont bans Britney
 It seems she does Belushi imitations


Britney to lose kids?
 She's making Michael Jackson look sane


Don't write and say, "So it's all Britney all the time now?"
Besides Bush, have you ever seen someone have seven days like Britney's just had?

All the above happened in about 30 hours. 
What will tomorrow's headline be?

Britney's body found in tub by kids
 She was the world's youngest, richest has-been


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Saw it on

Pigboy's Syphilitic Quotes

"I don't want to go through O.J. again and I don't want to
  go through the Clintons again. I just do not."
     -- the vulgar Pigboy, once again equating a BJ with a double murder, Link

 I wonder - how many votes does the GOP lose every time they equate sex to murder?

"I wake up and I'm smarter.  It just happens."."
     -- the vulgar dropout, educated by the Tooth Fairy,  Link

"Mrs. Clinton doesn't start wars?  Mrs. Clinton has started more wars 
  from the time she's been in Washington than anybody I can remember."
     -- the poor, sick bastard...  Isn't it sad what final-stage syphilis can do to the brain?  Link

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Catholics vs Kathy GriffinHOT


This is my favorite story of the day.
Can the Catholics make her pay for her words?

 ha ha

I'd sure like to see 'em try.

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"Happy Rosh Hashanah! ... Today, down in Washington, DC, 
   a confused President Bush carved a pumpkin." 
     -- David Letterman

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Marty's Entertainment Page
always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Young, Stevens - corrupt Republican


A former oil field services company bastard convicted of bribing Alaska state legislators
testified today he was instrumental in organizing an annual pig roast fundraiser that brought in
thousands of campaign dollars to U.S. Rep. Don Young (R-Roast Pig).

Allen testified during Kott's trial last week that he had assigned one to four employees for up to six months
to work on the home of U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Tubes).  Allen also testified that his bribery conviction
included payments to Stevens' son, former state Senate President Ben Stevens, (R-Guilty), through a
consulting contract. Ben Stevens has not been charged.

Both Smith and Allen pleaded guilty to conspiracy and bribery and agreed to cooperate with federal
investigators in the widespread corruption probe.


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Police state 2008?

Audio - Video

Bruce Yurgil Toon-Off Semi-Finals - Round 10

 Click to vote for your favorite Bruce Yurgil toon

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Fallon Derided Petraeus, Opposed the Surge


In sharp contrast to the lionisation of Petraeus by Republicans, Petraeus's superior, Admiral William Fallon,
chief of the Central Command (CENTCOM), derided Petraeus as a sycophant during their first meeting in
Baghdad last March, according to Pentagon sources familiar with reports of the meeting.

Fallon told Petraeus that he considered him to be "an ass-kissing little chickenshit" and added,
"I hate people like that", the sources say. That remark reportedly came after Petraeus began the meeting
by making remarks that Fallon interpreted as trying to ingratiate himself with a superior.

That extraordinarily contentious start of Fallon's mission to Baghdad led to more meetings marked by
acute tension between the two commanders. Fallon went on develop his own alternative to Petraeus's
recommendation for continued high levels of U.S. troops in Iraq during the summer.

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 Iraq pumped 3.5Mbarrels daily before Bush invaded
 and then they got their 2003 Halliburton upgrade

Bush is stealing $220,000,000 every day.

No wonder they were so eager to start a war,

It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.

Exxon made $10B profit in 90 days
 $100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war


Some people celebrate Bush's bloody oil war...

Some don't.
x 3,782....3,787

We lost  5 since last issue.

What sub-human bastard would get 
3,787 soldiers killed just to steal some oil?

How much did BIG OIL make yesterday?
Exxon makes $108M - every day

Bush can live with that,
because Iraq's oil wells have no meters
and his front company is moving to Dubai.

 $100M a day,
$200M a day,
$300M a day - where's that money going?

Bush has killed more Americans than Osama.

Sports Round up

Those Dallas Cowboys somehow won. I hate that.

Eldrick shot a record 28 on the front nine at the FedEx Cup, which almost impressed me
until I saw that some newbie named Mike Hunt shot a 31, so maybe it's just a really easy course.

My Razorbacks were down 21-0, then 31-19, then rallied back to take the lead 38-31,
but they totally collapsed in the final seconds and gave it to Alabama 41-38, probably.
They have the two of the best and most exciting running backs in all of college football
but the quarterback can't complete a screen pass when he has all afternoon. 

The Oklahoma Sooners beat some AA team by 50 points, as usual.

Michigan beat Notre Dame in the Toilet Bowl.

Sure wish we had a Sports Editor blogging for us.

Subject: donation

Hey Bart.

I was going to advertise with you, but I can't afford it.   Sorry.
I just switched jobs and I'm struggling just to pay the credit card bills.
I was trying to advertise for this fundraiser I'm doing for leukemia & lyphoma.  .

I'm running in  memory of my dad who died a few years back.

I see you're having your own problems trying to raise funds.
I can't believe you've been stuck on $2000 for so long.  Maybe you should go on strike for a few days,
just leave the whole screen blank, other than the words: "Bartcop will return when we reach $3000."
and a link  to donate.   That'll loosen their pockets.

Anyhow,  I went ahead and gave you what was left in my paypal account.
$8.84, not much, but I hope it helps.

Just wanted to drop a line and let you know you rock.
Keep swingin'  that hammer, bro.
 Jim in Brooklyn

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Is Petraeus Today's Westmoreland?
  by Ray McGovern

Cpl. Jeremy Shank, 18, was killed on Sept. 6, 2006. According to the Pentagon, Shank was
on a "dismounted security patrol when he encountered enemy forces using small arms."

What was the mission of Cpl. Shank while on security patrol, and who were the "enemy forces"
he encountered? Was his mission to prevent Iraqi religious fanatics from killing each other?

On Sept. 7, 2006, the day after Shank was killed, Bush in effect mocked Jeremy Shank's
death by drawing the familiar but bogus connection to 9/11:

"Five years after September the 11th, 2001, America is safer - and America is winning the war
on terror and will leave behind a more peaceful world for our children and our grandchildren."
Not for the children, grandchildren of Jeremy Shank.

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Vanessa Hudgens caught
  Is she Paris Hilton with fewer miles?


I don't get this.
She's 18, the star of Disney's squeaky clean High School Musical,
which has set records for Disney viewership - then the nude photos show up.
Note: They're not triple vulgar, like the Dr. Laura photos

Most people assumed the low-quality pics were fake,
until Hudgen's people popped up with, "No, that's her!"

What were her agents and legal staff thinking?
Are they trading her career for a 2-week flash-in-the-pan?
In the old days (10 years ago) they would've spent millions to keep this hidden,
but Hudgens' people jumped at the chance to verify it was, indeed her.

See more of fully-clothed Vanessa Hudgens  at BC Hotties


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