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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR 151 is Here!HOT

Weekend-Wednesday    April 11-15, 2009 Vol 2318 - Not Dead Yet

Quote of the Day

"I'm just glad the grandmother is there." 
       -- Dr. Laura, harpy and slut,
            commenting on Michelle's parenting skills

  Harpy, please close your mouth and your legs.


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Licensed to Kill 
Arrow More Hijackings, Hostages HOT
Arrow 50 years of Stupid Grammar HOT
Arrow This Whole Pirate Thing HOT
Arrow Financial Crisis in 28 Minutes
Arrow Gene Lyons on 'Delusions' HOT
Arrow Benny's New Lap Dancer 
Arrow Stevie Nicks vs LiLo HOT



Still the best advertising bargain on the Net

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Click to get more Hits


"You see these caskets, flag-draped, it's sobering beyond belief.
  You realize that this is the end."
     --  David Pautsch, after he watched the remains of his son returned,  Link

 Maybe that's why our drunken president wanted those images hidden?

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Licensed to Kill


Bush issued a license to the CIA to torture and kill. The Justice Department was offering assurances that there would be 
no prosecutions.  A prosecution would likely have resulted in disclosure of many uncomfortable details - how the Bush bastards
approved not only techniques, but even specific torture programs.

Of course they did.
Torture is right-wing Viagra.

A prosecution might have brought the truth close to the surface. Can’t have that. Is there any chance that this process 
will be reversed by the Obama Administration?  So far, signs run in the opposite direction. Panetta offers absolution: 
“Officers who act on guidance from the Department of Justice - or acted on such guidance previously - should not be 
investigated, let alone punished. This is what fairness and wisdom require." He adopts the "go forth and sin no more" approach...

What if Bush told Blackwater that rape wouldn't be prosecuted?
Would Paneta, Holder and Obama stand behind that illegal order, too?

Leon Panetta’s promise of absolution is being implemented - by way of cover-up. 
And (Obama's) Department of Justice is complicit at every step along the way.

I hate to see *my* president involved in this shit.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: piracy

It's interesting to hear news stories about real piracy - the kind of piracy 
that has nothing to do with downloading music on the Internet.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

Can you really get five years for illegally copying a movie?
Sometimes you can kill a cop and not get that much time.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog


"It's time to let Cuban Americans see their mothers and fathers, their sisters and brothers." 
     --  Obama, taking small steps towards following my advice,   Link

 Barack, why not tear down that wall?
 What are we afraid of?

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Pirates hijack 4 ships, take 60 hostages
 Just like Reagan, but Obama didn't arm any terrorists


When Reagan was president, the hijackers would say,
"Give us tons of weapons and we'll let this hostage go."

Reagan would agree (he loved dealing with terrorists) but then those pro-Iranian bastards would 
grab another American hostage - so Reagan lost and America lost and the kidnap victim lost, 
but Reagan's terrorist friends won and Iran won and BIG OIL won - but that's all OK because 
America's whore media always portarayed Reagan as "tough on terror" and, of course, 
the idiots Democrat agreed - every f-ing time.

Ask any handjob Republican what he liked about Reagan and he'll probably start with, 
"He made us proud to be Americans again."

Under Obama, we got the kidnap victims back and the bad guys took a dirt nap.

Yeah, Reagan was soooooooo great at combating terrorism.

"Bart, Reagan was great - why are you dissing a great man?"

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

We are now on Twitter

Look for  bartcop


"After 9/11, what’d they do? They pointed at Bill Clinton and said, "why didn’t he do more about catching Bin Laden? 
Why didn’t he take further steps to prevent this eventuality, this possibility?'" 
    -- Tom Juan Williams, on the Bush bastards blaming Clinton for 9/11,   Link

 Tom Juan, stay on their side - we don't want you.

"I don’t believe President Bush ever said that." 
      -- Fox News’s Bill Hemmer, to Tom Juan Williams,      Link

 Really, Bill?
 Bush never blamed Clinton?

 So who did he blame - his father? 
 Did he blame Saint Reagan?
 It won't help to blame Carter because Reagan/Bush 
 created and funded Al Qaeda after Carter left office.

 Bill Hemmer - are you saying Bush took responsibility for his (at the time) biggest failure?

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Strunk and White — 50 years of stupid grammar advice


It’s sad. Several generations of college students learned their grammar from the uninformed bossiness of Strunk and White, 
and the result is a nation of educated people who know they feel vaguely anxious and insecure whenever they write “however” 
or “than me” or “was” or “which,” but can’t tell you why. The land of the free in the grip of The Elements of Style.

So I won’t be spending the month of April toasting 50 years of the overopinionated and underinformed little book that put 
so many people in this unhappy state of grammatical angst. I’ve spent too much of my scholarly life studying English grammar 
in a serious way. English syntax is a deep and interesting subject. It is much too important to be reduced to a bunch of trivial 
don’t-do-this prescriptions by a pair of idiosyncratic bumblers who can’t even tell when they’ve broken their own misbegotten rules.

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"Watching Glenn Beck of Fox News rant about “progressive fascism” – and muse about armed insurrection
  – or listening to mainstream pundits prattle on about Barack Obama as the “most polarizing President ever,” 
  it is hard to escape the conclusion that today’s U.S. news media represents a danger to the Republic.
     --  Bob Perry, talking like the old Bob Perry - before he caught Hillary fever,    Link

    Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: GOP caller hands Pigboy his ass HOT


 Thanks to Craig

  Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

This Whole Pirate Thing
 (written pre-rescue)

OK, so the world's a violent place.
Did the Democrats finally figure that out?

If you're going to travel on the high seas you can't be caught alone.

If, ...say, ...there are a dozen handjob pirates trying to board your (how do you spell yatch?)
they're going to OWN YOU until they're BORED with robbing and raping you.

Oh, really?
Is that reality?
Is that what pirates do?

Yeah, lady, and Johnny Depp won't be one of them.

If you're caught alone ... and you're being threatened with bodily harm or death by a person 
or persons ...(don't get me started on that English Major crap) ...anyone who boards your boat
 - owns the rest of your life.

Why don't all Democrats get the non-surrender thing?

Gee, it's almost like you'd be stupid to be caught alone without a gun.
Why does "prepared" mean "evil" to most Democrats?

The characture that the smart people are millstoned with is,
"I don't believe in violence to solve a problem."

Well, that's liberal horseshit.
Face the facts, there are times when ass must be kicked.

Ever see the old TV series Kung Fu?
Every episode, he'd explain to the bullies:

"Dudes, let's all chill,  because violence is a ...language that's primarily
  best spoken by the duck... ...something"     ...I don't know

And then he'd kick the bad guys in the teeth - end of show.
Why are Liberals so against defense?

You wacky liberals - we all live in the same world!

When you awake to breaking glass,
when your ship gets boarded by pirates, it's all the same thing.

Granted, if you live in an upper-East side townhouse with a doorman
who wears a fancy top-hat, maybe YOU don't need personal protection.
But what about the other 309,900,000 of us?

Why is self-defense a clear priority on water - but not on land?

  "I can explain that, Bart"  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

NASA names treadmill after Colbert
 Instead of naming a room in the space station after him 


NASA earlier held an online contest to name a room (or "node") at the international space station. 
With write-in votes, the name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options: Serenity, Legacy, Earthrise and Venture.

On Tuesday's "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, astronaut Sunita Williams announced that NASA
— which always maintained it had the right to choose an appropriate name — would not name the node after Colbert.

Instead, Node 3 will henceforth be called Tranquility, the eighth most popular response submitted by poll respondents. 
The node's name alludes to where Apollo 11 landed on the moon — the Sea of Tranquility.

All in good fun - but why hold a contest and then give the award to the eighth-place finisher? 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: another money grab?

 Bart, is this (hospital visit) another of your poor bart for bucks thing? 
 Well if it pays off, good for you. 
  Randy Who didn't wanna work anyway

 Dude, since Sunday I've suffered 100 pricks bigger than you  :)

 Almost as bad are those sticky heart monitor things - you reach for
 a glass of water and six hairs get pulled out of your chest - I hate that

 Sidebar: Tuesday, I set a record for the most women in a room with me when I had no pants :)

 Plus, my ER doctor looked similar to, but was cuter than DWTS's Kelly Monaco.

 She was drop-dead gorgeous but I wasn't that sick.
 Sure makes it hard to answer questions like, "What's your name?"

 If you ever need a Tulsa hospital, go to St Johns.

 Funny: They have a big statue quoting St John: "We never turn anyone away!"
 but they still verfy your insurance before they admit you  :)

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

We have broken the $2,000 level!
Thanks to all who have been so generous.

I know what you're thinking...
"I like Ol' Bart, been reading him for years,
maybe I should send him a 'love' check."

Fact is - about 2% contribute.
Ergo, ipso facto - times are tough.
Help Bart's dreams take wing!
Things are so bad, I'm shaving the kitties to sell the fur!
(That's a Bob Dole joke)

to bartcop@bartcop.com

 OR send a 'love' check to

 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

Random thought...

This is for Danny I-was-gonna-donate-but-now-I'm-not Detroit, who
(I have to guess since he hasn't made his position clear) throws a hissy
when somebody criticizes the bad decisions Detroit has made the last 25 years?

Who's fault is it that more drivers won't buy American cars?

  "You fell for my trap, Bart - Now I've got you!"  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: If I were they...


 I think some people need to realize they're a bit stubborn.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog


 Subject: 2009 World Series of Poker

I got hired as a dealer for the WSOP and this year, they are having a $1,000 buy in event, which is cheaper than normal.
It's being called the "Stimulus Special" Sat. May 30th.   The rest of the schedule can be found at Worldseriesofpoker.com

If the money for the Bartcop WSOP dream slows down you should offer folks half their donation as action,
somebody gives you 100 dollars, give them 5% of any winnings you make, etc. etc.
--Mike the Dealer.

 Mike, that's a great idea - let's do that (or I may never get to $1000 :)
 Each $100 donated gets you 5% of my winnings.
 AND, for $300, I'll wear your logo on my cap at the final table

 Join Team Bartcop to make this once-in-a-lifetime dream come true.

to bartcop@bartcop.com

 OR send a 'love' check to

 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK  74155

 We have reached 55% of our WSOP goal.

  I'll donate to your seat at the WSOP, Bart!  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Marty's Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Need to take a sudden trip?

 Here's the deal:


"The gang is getting together next week in Dallas for a reunion, the Bush team's first since leaving power. 
On tap is a dinner with Bush and a daylong discussion of the future George W. Bush Policy Institute..."
      -- Peter Baker,  Link

 A "day long" policy discussion?
 And you expect Bush to pay attention?
 All day?

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

The Financial Crisis in 28 Minutes


WILLIAM K. BLACK: To know everything. To know who committed the frauds. Whose bonuses we should recover. 
How much the assets are worth. How much they should be sold for. Is the bank insolvent, such that we should resolve it in this way? 
It’s the predicate, right? You need to know the facts to make intelligent decisions. And they’re deliberately leaving in place the people 
that caused the problem, because they don’t want the facts. And this is not new. The Reagan Administration’s central priority, at all times, 
during the Savings and Loan crisis, was covering up the losses.

BILL MOYERS: So, you’re saying that people in power, political power, and financial power, act in concert when their own behinds 
are in the ringer, right?

WILLIAM K. BLACK: That’s right. And it’s particularly a crisis that brings this out, because then the class of the banker says, 
“You’ve got to keep the information away from the public or everything will collapse. If they understand how bad it is, they’ll run for the exits.”

I haven't had a chance to see/read this, but I hope he names some names.
Blaming "people with power" during a political transition is kinda lame.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Gay Elephant

Random thought...

To all those wacky handjobs holding "Tea Parties" today, 

...where were you last year?

Now that the country is teetering at the edge of a cliff - now you get involved?

And when you say, "Obama's spending too much money,"
what's your cheap and easy alternative to solving Bush's economic disaster? 

You want to "ride it out" with 10-20% unemployment for the next 5-10 years?
You want to close your eyes and hope Detroit and the banks somehow survive?
You want to pray, and hope some non-existent God will fly down and save us?

Is that what we elected Obama to do?
Ignore our problems and let them solve themselves?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


 Subject: WRC films

 Hey Bart,

 Just Google "super thermite WTC" for some recent, very interesting findings.
 I'm terribly afraid there's no other conclusion to draw: the collapses of those buildings
 that day were engineered, and the entire plot had to be an inside job.

 It's time to quit pussy-footing around and open a serious investigation.
 The perpetrators of these vile deeds must not go unpunished!
  Bob, a friend in Prague

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

First time in front of a big crowd?HOT

Trust me

Play it in Hi-Def

(work friendly)

Delusions moving to center
 by Gene Lyons


Newt Gingrich, who fancies himself something of a futurist, recently prophesied : "If the Republicans can't break out of being the 
right-wing party of big government, then I think you would see a third-party movement in 2012." Conservative ideology, see, 
cannot fail, it can only be failed. In Gingrich's fevered imagination, principled conservatives vigorously objected to George W. Bush's 
profligate ways; they deserted the administration in droves after Cheney reportedly said that Reagan "proved that deficits don't matter."

Of course, that rebellion never actually happened. Most Republicans rediscovered the evils of deficit spending only after Obama's election. 
Notwithstanding the fact that 90 percent of the existing national debt was created under Reagan and the two Bushes, many are running around 
with their hair on fire about a proposed tax increase of 3.6 percent on income over $250,000 - a tax increase Obama needn't cause to be 
enacted, but merely wait for George W.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Chris Brown: Worst Boyfriend Ever?


 First, you kick your girlfriend so far into next week they have to change the calendar.

 Then you promise to marry her if she drops the charges. 

When she does, you say, "Gotcha," and then you openly date 
other women - two at a time, even - in front of the paparazzi? 

I'm very surprised he's still in show business.
If he still has a career after this, I'll be very, very surprised.

Geez, this makes the woman who married Charlie Sheen seem sane.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Have you met Dr Laura's son Deryk?

"Hah, Ahm Deh-hik..."

How else could you feel if 
the She-thing was your Mom?

Benny the Rat's New Lap Dancer


Anna Nobili, 38, spent 20 years performing in strip clubs across Europe.
Deciding she wanted more out of life, Miss Nobili has joined the the order
of the Sister Workers of the Holy House of Nazareth.

Next week she will be in Rome to perform for senior cardinals and bishops.

  "Bart, be fair - you know I'm not into women..."

  Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

 Subject: a few words of praise


Recently stubmled across your site on a link from another.  I find it brilliant.

Why, thank you - I do what I can...

As an old comic book fan, I say you do all the super heroes proud.

I assume you start with actual comics and do the art work
but your ability to use old covers to express current themes is wonderful.

You have been moved into my favorites and I shall visit your site 
every day or two for a good laugh and insightful commentary in art.
  Jon in Brush, Colorado -  Home of Marilyn (gag) Musgrave

Oh, ...so it's the comic art work you're praising, ...not the site itself  (Bart kicks dirt)
The comics you've seen lately are by RS Janes at  http://ltsaloon.org/

We've also featured comic toons by Bruce Yurgil.


    Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Pigboy, Hannity rule hate talk universe


The sniveling Pigboy and Sean Hannity lead the field for the most hate-talk-radio listeners, according to the Talkers.

They say Pigboy has 14.75 million listeners who tune in at least once a week.
Hannity is second with a minimum of 13.75 million.

So Rush is lying again - big shocker..
Pigboy likes to brag he has 20 million listeners, buit that's really less than 3 million a day.

Tied for turd are Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Dr. Laura Leg-spreader,
with around half of the vulgar Pigboy's gullible sheep.

Again, the reason they have so many listeners is because Facsists fear they're wrong 
so they need constant re-affirmation that "niggers" are sex-crazy, "beaners" are lazy, 
"faggots" should be put in ovens and the poor should be fed to the rich's little dogs.

  Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Phil Spector found guilty of 2003 murder
 Expects to be sentenced around 2015


   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: You've let me and a lot of other readers down


really disappointed in you
lamest excuse I've heard
this is an outrage
nothing more than self-delusion
very disappointing indeed

Scott, you're as wrong as sex with as mule.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Be the first on your block to wear this t-shirt!
(Design by Tally of BCR)

Click  to  Order

Mens and women's shirts,
v-necks, doggie shirts, boxer shorts,
tank tops, hoodies, thongs, sweatshirts in
black, white, yellow, green and pink.

Get your historic shirts today!

Click to Order

 Subject: Why I hate Obama by Keith Olbermann

Bart dude, I'm not exactly sure what your message is here.  Are you saying that we progressives shouldn't
voice our disagreement over policies which we find objectionable because a progressive is in the big chair now?
If I'm getting all the information correct I have to agree with Olbermann on this one.
This issue isn't something I would've expected from the Obama admin.

P.S.  Simon Bros. corn and heirloom tomato seasons is coming!  WOOHOO!

If Olbermann had acted like an adult in 2008, instead of a giddy schoolgirl with a crush, 
he'd look far less stupid now.

Remember, MSNBC had to take away his anchor duties on election night
because it was so embarassing to see him gush over Obama.

Or was it that he just hated Hillary so f-ing much?

I'm ready for some good corn, too.
I figure we got about 60 days to go.

  Send e-mail to Bart  | Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

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Bart, call me so I can sign up!

 Subject: hey from China

 Bartcop reader Joel and his fiance Jordan riding into Yuncheng, China on a very polluted day

  Joel and Jordan. checking out the scallions at the market

 I love these kinds of pictures.
 If you're in some foreign/exotic land, send me some pictures.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Check out the toons and stuff


 on the Bart Blog!

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Worldwide Bartcop

They read it in Port Said, Egypt

They read it in Visalia, California

They read it in Prague, Czech Republic (Hi Bob!)

They read it in Earth City, Missouri

They read it in Trujillo, Peru

  Want to sell stuff everywhere?

 Why sell just to America when you can sell to the whole world?

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Subject: Donation

Bart, thanks for the daily dose of sanity!
 Dave in Alexandra, VA

Dave, thanks to you.

 Click to Subscribe or Donate


or send a "love" check to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155

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Stevie Nicks vs Lindsay Lohan


Stevie Nicks is throwing a hissy on reports that Lindsay Lohan wants to play her on the big screen.

"Over my dead body," Nicks barked at The New York Whore Times when asked about it.
Adding, "She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we'll talk."

Isn't it sad when fading stars can't get in the news unless they attack somebody who is?

Last week, Faye Dunaway attacked Hilary Duff, saying she wasn't a "real" actress.
Gee, Faye, how many Oscars had you won by the age of 21?

And Stevie, you were drug-free when you were 22?  Really?

When you were 22, if you were famous enough to have hundreds of paparazzi following you 24/7,
how many of your personal, embarassing secrets would've screamed from the tabloid headlines?

I'm not Lohan's biggest fan, but she's as pretty as any woman in Hollywood and for someone who
never grabbed the brass ring in the looks department, Nicks ought to be thrilled to have someone
as good-looking as Lindsay immortalize you on film - but I guess those sour grapes taste sweeter?

Hey, I know an actress who'd be a better fit - Courtney Love!


Sidebar: Human nature is a funny thing.
I'm going to get 5-10 e-mails saying that I'm crazy, that Lohan is "actually quite ugly."

Isn't human nature interesting?

 Check out hundreds of  Lindsay Lohan  pictures  at BC Hotties

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