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BCR #162 is here
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 Friday  March  12, 2010 Vol 2488 - Food stamps & puppies 

Glacier National Park, Montana

Quote of the Day

"The Beltway has changed nothing 
  since the GOP scandals and is still 
  acting blind, deaf, and dumb toward 
  the Democrat scandals. 
    -- Michelle Malkin, lying again,   Link

  One difference?  Massa resigned while
  Vitter, Sanford and Ensign stay in office.


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Whore ABC News admits HOT
Arrow Devil made me blow him  HOT
Arrow Eldrick hires Forked Tongue  
Arrow Eldrick's latest big mistake
Arrow Democrats Unwilling To Fight HOT
Arrow Crashes Shaving Hoo Hoo HOT
Arrow Disgrace for the Democrats  
Arrow Jessica Alba - in shape 



Marty's has new stuff every day
on her tons-of-fun Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!


"There is a real shot we are going to get slaughtered in elections this fall if we aren't 
  leading the efforts to reform Washington. We campaigned in '06 and '08, and if voters 
  don't see that change, we haven't lived up to that promise."   
    --Steve Hildebrand, deputy campaign manager for Barack Obama's presidential campaign,   Link

  Hey Steve, we all get that - you don't need to tell us,
  you need to get word to your former boss that change is what we voted for.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Whore ABC News admits faking Toyota video
 "It shook too much when we did it honestly".


Brian Ross' "World News" report showed him driving a Toyota with Gilbert that was rigged to quickly accelerate. 

Briefly during the drive, ABC cut to a faked picture of a tachometer with the needle zooming forward. The impression 
whore ABC meant to give was that the tachometer was documenting the ride Ross was taking. Instead, that picture was 
taken from a separate instance where a short-circuit was induced in a parked car.

ABC said they faked the report because it was impossible to get a good picture of the tachometer while the car 
was moving because the camera was shaking. The camera shot was steady when it was taken in a parked car.

"The tachometer showed the same thing every time," claimed ABC News spokesliar Emily Lenzner.

Toyota spokesman John Hanson disputes that, saying tachometers react much more dramatically when 
short-circuits happen in a parked car than a car that is moving. Tachometers measure engine speed.

It all points to problems that are created when whore journalists try to alter reality in order to get a better picture.

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Subject: Jesus was a long-haired, no-job, sandal-wearing, gay community organizer  

Bart, you know the conservatives already crucified him once - looks like they're willing to try again. 
Most likely with Pat Robertson standing by, cheering them on.

You know what their favorite part is?
When the cock crows.

They are sick bastards.

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Subject: Democrats need to lead polls, not follow them

There's a difference between being a follower and a leader and the Democrats haven't figured that out. 
Many Dems are trying to decide of health care reform based on polling or the number of people calling their office. 

What Democrats should be doing is what is right for America. If they fail to pass the Senate health care bill next week 
we will never see reform in our life time and insurance premiums will skyrocket. I can't imagine the Democrats wanting 
to get reelected after failing to pass health care reform. It seems to me that if they don't know what to do they should 
just do the opposite of want the Republicans want them to do.

Marc Perkel

Founder of the Church of Reality
Reality changed my life. It can change your life too

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Subject: that crooked congress

I just can't get my mind wrapped around a Congress that thinks it's just peachy keen for a 
very few chosen to make a killing off of the physical miseries of their (allegedly) fellow human beings. Sick. 

At least here in Prague it's just a misdemeanor for an aging, arthritic old fart veteran to own a half ounce of weed, 
with every reasonable assurance of never being brought to court for anything. And at my advanced age (64) medical 
and dental care sets me back about 65 bucks a month. 

What did O'Drone-o-bomber mean by "Yes we can!"? Did we (Gasp!!!) buy the proverbial pig in a poke? 
What is so hard about delivering decent health care to a country? Every other "developed" country in the world does it.
But what do I know? I always thought that the hippocampus was some place like Berkeley, 
or Cambridge, or Ann Arbor, or, even, yes, Austin.  Just a hay-seed ex-pat in Prague,

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Bartcop Radio Summaries


We have a new batch of summaries - thanks to Boston Jane.

The old summaries are in blue, the new ones in Black. 

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Is the 9/11 truth movement gaining ground?

Toyota problem solved?

Yesterday I asked, How can the 2005 & 2010 models screw up now?
Mrs. Bart came up with an idea:

The electronics - every time they "sync" a 2005 Toyota with the main Toyota diagnostic computer,
maybe it infects the 2005 car with the 2010 virus.  That would explain the rash of events, but that 
only holds water if the crazy 2005 cars had recently melded with Toyota's computer

Check Toyota owners who've not recently taken their car back to the dealership for repairs.

So far, there's no evidence that Toyota has a problem beyond the terrible PR, but if there 
is a problem, something has to explain why great cars for 5 years are going crazy.

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by Bruce Yurgil

Subject: Nazifest in Tulsa

Are you going to this or leaving town?

"Taking Our Country Back Tour"
with Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, John Rich, 
Gretchen Wilson, and various local talk radio Nazis

If it was free, I'd go and write a review but I won't pay $45
to hear them chant, "Screw that nigger in the White House."

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Click  for Story

Help  survive!


 OR send a 'love' check to
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"The fact that Wal-Mart is carrying this movie - a movie that specifically exposes Wal-Mart’s 
past practice of taking out secret “dead peasant” life insurance policies on its employees and 
naming itself as the lone beneficiary should the employee meet an “untimely” early death - 
need you any further proof that Corporate America is so secure in its position as the ruler of 
our country, so sure of its infallible power that, yes, they can even sell a movie that attacks 
them because it poses absolutely no threat to them?" 
    -- Michael Moore, on Wal-Mart selling his “Capitalism: A Love Story” DVD,    Link

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Obama's birth certificate

Subject: Olbermann vs Jesse Ventura  

That article you linked to made it as a recommended diary on daily kos. 
Keith Olbermann wrote a diary rebutting Ventura's claim

I have no idea who's telling the truth, just wanted you to know there is another side to the story.
 Andy in Bakersfield CA 

I like Olbermann (when he's not lying about Hillary) but between the two I'd believe Ventura.

Olbermann gives several reasons why MSGOP dropped their top-rated show and I don't believe him.
You don't kill your top-rated show - if nothing else you use it as a loss leader to build other shows.

Also, Olbermann is flat-out calling Ventura a liar, but it's on MSGOP to explain why they wouldn't 
let Jesse on the air but sent him a monthly check for three years which, coincidentally, kept Jesse 
from doing any other talk shows.

Sure looks like they wanted all anti-war voices silenced.
Remember, MSGOP was owned by a war machine.

One other thing:
Did you see last Monday on 24, the suicide bomber was named Markos :)

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Del Castillo live and in 3D 
Thursday Morning, March 18th

Download the software so you'll be ready



"The Beltway media has been doing its darndest to liken the ethical problems facing the 
  Democrats today and those faced by the Republicans in recent years, but the differences 
  could not be more stark. In the case of Eric Massa, for instance, within about a week of 
  allegations of his misconduct coming forward into the public sphere, he resigned. Yet when 
  you look at the scandals affecting the Republican Party, the response is very different. 
  David Vitter, Mark Sanford and John Ensign are all still in office years and months after 
  it became clear that they were worthless scumbags."
       -- Jonathan Singer,   Link

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MMA Rumors

The Devil made me blow that altar boy
  by the Vatican's 'Senior Exorcist' 


The recent spate of sexual abuse allegations rocking the Catholic Church show that 
"the Devil is at work inside the Vatican," says Father Gabriele Amorth, the chief exorcist of the Holy See.

Really?  That's the best you've got?
The Devil made you blow that altar boy?

"When one speaks of 'the smoke of Satan' in the holy rooms, it is all true – including these 
latest stories of violence and pedophilia," Amorth told the Times of London newspaper.

Amorth, who claims he's handled 70,000 cases of demonic possession, said the Holy See was
infested with "cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the demon."

I've said that for years - I don't think any of them believe in God. 
How could you rape God's innocent children KNOWING he's watching you while you do it?

They don't believe in God any more than I do but they keep the bullshit story going 
because it's a great way to meet kids and not pay taxes.

Cardinal: Celibacy = perverts
 You're not supposed to speak the truth, Dude!


A senior cardinal has called for priestly celibacy to be re-examined in the light of sex scandals sweeping the Roman 
Catholic Church. Cardinal Christoph Schönborn, conservative Archbishop of Vienna and a protégé of Benny the Rat, 
shocked the Vatican by suggesting that it should carry out an “unflinching examination” of causes of the scandal.

These included “the issue of priests’ training”, he wrote, “the question of priest celibacy and the question of personality 
development. It requires a great deal of honesty, both on the part of the Church and of society as a whole”.

The Vatican said the remarks had been misinterpreted. 

 ha ha

What else can they say?
In the Church you're not allowed to have independent thought.

“Priestly celibacy is a gift of the Holy Spirit,” Cardinal Claudio Hummes said with a straight face.

Yeah, and what about your little gift to a six year old's rear end?

Between celibacy and the Devil, you guys are going with the Devil excuse on this?

Why doesn't the Devil tempt any straight guys into blowing a dude?
Could it be because the straight guys don't swing that way?

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Have you see Funny or Die's
Presidential Reunion?

Subject: Toyoda 

Bart, how much do they pay you?
 Danny Detroit

You have a point.

I'm paid each month in that I don't have to pay to have our cars repaired. We're approaching 100 months 
on the two cars, one Toyota, one Honda, and I'm a busy man with shit to do, so waiting at a Pontiac 
dealership for them to repair my damn car AGAIN is something up with which I will not put.

So you are correct - I speak highly of them because they have saved me tons of money.

Michael Moore wrote a thing years ago about buying a new Chrysler 

My Chrysler is four years old. I bought it because of its smooth and comfortable ride.  When it would start!! 

More than a dozen times in these years, the car has simply died. Batteries have been replaced, but that wasn't
the problem. My dad drives the same model. His car has died many times, too. Just won't start, for no reason at all. 

A few weeks ago, I took my Chrysler in to the Chrysler dealer -- and the latest fixes cost me $1,400. 

See? That's like getting a check from Toyota for $1400 - without the hassle!

The next day, the vehicle wouldn't start. When I got it going, the brake warning light came on. And on and on

And as much as Michael Moore loves his home state of Michigan,
I assume Michael now drives a Japanese car and I'll bet it starts every damn time.

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Eldrick hires Forked Tongue
 Ari Fleischer has experience in spinning lies



Two sources in the golf community say that Ari Fleischer, the former forked tongue of The Bush Butcher
has been huddling with Woods, plotting a strategy for his return to golf — starting March 25 in Orlando, Fla.

“They were in his living room this week going over a strategy for how to handle Bay Hill in two weeks,” claims one source.

This is a good move for Eldrick.

After that disasterous "press conference" where the press was gagged
he's going to need some expert advice on how to screw up less next time.

People are used to hearing Fleischer tell the clumsiest lies in White House history, lies about rape, kidnapping, 
stolen elections, invasions, grand theft, torture and murder, and Eldrick isn't guilty of any of those crimes - probably.

It's like having a big-time mob lawyer help you with your parking ticket.

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Eldrick's latest big mistake
 Ari Fleischer is not going to help Tiger's image

Ari Fleischer?

The best Tiger Woods could do is hire the guy who orchestrated Mark McGwire's bungled 
re-entry into baseball? The guy who shills for the galactically stupid and indefensible BCS? 
The guy who counseled the Green Bay Packers on how to deal with their Brett Favre divorce?

 ha ha

And now Ari Fleische, is overseeing Woods' return to golf and all that comes with it? What a mistake.

From Fleischer's Web site: Let us help you gain control over the way you deliver your message 
with comprehensive instruction for each point of contact with the media.

Yes, that's what Woods needs right now. He needs to be programmed more! 
Let's load him up with comprehensive instruction and deliver him to America. 
You won't know whether it's Tiger or an Audio-Animatronic at the Hall of Presidents.

When is Woods going to realize that he's in this hot mess because, 
(A) He had zipper-control issues and 
(B) He was disconnected from reality and thought he was bullet-proof? 

Rehab for sexual addiction has begun to address A, 
but solving the B part comes from within, not from a PR firm.

Poor Eldrick - the tide keeps pulling him farther and farther away from the shore.

...but you can bet I'll be watching his comeback tournament.  

"Hex on thee, Tiger, Hex on thee!"

I expect the fans, mostly women, will be hurling the invectives.

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Mike Malloy Live

Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Hoo Hoo
 Toyota needs to stand up and accept responsibility


Megan Barnes was shaving her "bikini area" while driving on the highway when she crashed into an SUV.

The police report said her ex-husband held the wheel while she shaved, neither one noticed the damned SUV
The trim job was apparently essential because she was heading to Key West visit her boyfriend. 

This report was from Whore ABC News so maybe it's true, maybe it isn't.
Whore ABC has been known to fake stories for ratings.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Subject: Toyota and Tiger

When the news hit that Tiger cheated once, *dozens* of other girls came forward to say 
they had also affairs with him in the past.   Plausible enough.   But what we have thought if 
those girls said they all started their affairs with him right after the broadcast? We'd think "Bullshit". 

Well, unless Tiger was a Toyota - in which case we'd apparently marvel 
at the amazing luck of those hard-working reporters.
  -Rex Devious

I think I see where you're going - but it's one thing to keep an affair quiet.

How do you keep the news of your 90-MPH-runaway Toyota quiet?

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A disgrace for the Democrats
They'll  sabotage the health bill to keep their seats


Democrats enjoy a gaudy 75-seat majority. Wait.  Scratch that. The Democrats suffer the affliction 
of a 75-seat majority. That's a joke, except not really. What is going on right now in the lower house 
vis a vis healthcare reform is a stomach-turning sight to behold – a saga of preening, duplicity, pomposity,
self-interest and, most of all, cowardice that is worthy of Holinshed. The players in this drama are participating 
in the destruction of their own party. They know this. And they persist.

What's happening right now, of course, is that Nancy Pelosi and Obama are trying to round up the votes 
in the house to pass the Senate's health bill. Exactly 216 are needed. Right now they have 194. Or 202. Or 210.
Or something. But not 216.

Lots of Democrats – 49 of them, in fact – represent districts where John McCain defeated Obama. 
They live in fear of being tarred by a future Republican opponent of having abetted the march of "socialism." 
So they voted no on the most important piece of social legislation in probably 40 years.

The safest bet in the world is that the cowardly Democrats will stab their president in the back.

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Tally's Idol Review 


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Utah House Leader Admits Naked 
Hot-Tubbing With 15-Year Old Girl
 Hard to believe it was a girl this time

 "Was it wrong? Yes.  Did it feel good? Yes!"


Years ago, the Majority Leader of the Utah House took a nude hot-tub with a 15-year old employee, 
then paid her $150,000 and had her pledge to keep quiet, he admitted yesterday.

The incident occurred in 1985, when Kevin Garn was 30, and married. In 2002, when Garn, 
a Republican, was running for Congress, the woman, Cheryl Maher, began contacting reporters 
prompting Garn to pay her $150,000 and have an attorney draft a non-disclosure agreement.

With his wife by his side, Garn told reporters: "I expect to suffer public humiliation and 
embarrassment. Some lessons are hard to learn."

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Subject: Donation

Bart, buy a shot on me at Recessionfest,
 Kenny K

Kenny, thanks for that.

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Jessica Alba - back in shape 


 Link to Story

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