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Tuesday,  Aug 30,  2011     Vol 2745 - Bobbing for Bacon


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Rick Perry's bad press 
Arrow Dick Cheney's Regency
Sarah Palin Nude!!!
Arrow Why Cavemen Hate Science
Arrow My Teabagging Family
Arrow What 'everyone knows'
Arrow Spend the day w/ Amanda Bynes


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"Has anybody seen my stool softener?"
      --  McCain, just turned 75, in a tweet

  He's still getting used to what's appropriate to tweet.

Send e-mail to Bart

Rick Perry's bad press

We're already getting sick of him


He's the frontrunner at the moment, but Rick Perry's facing down growing media scrutiny
 -- especially over his past statements.

Here's an example: when his campaign attempted to back away from his book Fed Up!
which contains attacks on Social Security that might make mainstream voters skittish,
Perry publicly rejected it, doubling-down on his claim that the popular program is a
Ponzi scheme and maybe unconstitutional.

Democrats certainly seem to think talk like this is playing into their hands.

"For Rick Perry, the way he matches up with Republican voters has proven to be at least
a short-term political bonanza for him," says Bill Burton. "But in the long term, his ideology
could have devastating consequences for our country. Especially the middle class."

If Obama decides to campaign, he should be able to handle Perry easily.

But as I've said 100 times, *I* could beat up Mike Tyson if Tyson
absolutely and positively refused to throw any punches at me.

If Obama stays on his turn-the-other-cheek politics of suicide,
(like Gore and Kerry did) I'd expect Perry to win about 58 states.

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"The fire explodes from the elevator banks into the WTC lobby and engulfs me, its tentacles
  of flame hungrily latching on. 
An immense weight pushes down on me, and I can barely breathe.
  I am whipped around 
… I see people lying on the floor covered in flames, burning alive.

  Like them, I am on fire.

  I prayed for death, in that unspeakable way that people who are experiencing unimaginable pain can.
  But then I thought of my ten month-old son, Tyler: I can't leave my son. I haven't
had him long enough
   … I can't die like this, stumbling into the streets in flames, surrendering
my life in a gutter.  
  At first, the EMTs stepped around me to help others. I could see that I'd been pegged as a goner."

      --  911, WTC survivor Lauren Manning,     Link


A shot of Chinaco to Lauren Manning.


Christ, I'd rather do six tours in Afghanistan than have 85% of my body on fire.

 Buy her book.

         Click  to  Order

Next time you think you're having a bad day, think of Lauren Manning.
Your day will instantly get a fuck-load better.

Subject: Nancy Grace on dancing w/ Stars
We're told Grace and her partner met for the first time in Atlanta last week. 
This could be another Kate Gosselin situation, where Nancy practices in Atlanta
so she doesn't miss her TV show ... then travels to L.A. once a week for the live performance.

So that's what she meant by "The Devil is Dancing Tonight."

From Tom DeLay to Bristol Palin, they sure like repugs on that show.

Nancy Grace craves attention like McCain's swimsuit model.

Send e-mail to Bart

My good friend Alan Bisbort has an exhibit
coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT.

Click Here for More Info

Libya 'won't hand over' Lockerbie bomber


This scumbag murderer seems very close to death.

Usually I'd be for dragging him back to justice - but he's already been thru that.
They released him to die and now he's dying.

Of course, I'd feel differently if I lost someone on that plane.

I'd want to go squeeze his breathing tubes...

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: science vs war
There is talk that the International Space Station might be shut down because we can no longer
get supplies up there anymore. America shut down the Space Shuttle program without developing
a replacement program first leaving us without the ability to put people into space. Now the Russians
are having problems with their rockets and because of that we can't even put people in low orbit anymore.

Instead of investing in science humanity has decided to put money into wars and religion.

So we can't do the thiungs we used to do like go to the moon. I think humanity is on the wrong track
and that we should be preparing for the day when we are no longer a single planet species. We should
see a future where we travel between star systems rather than fight wars over who has the mightiest deity.

We are losing ground and that's what happens when humanity turns it's back on reality. 
  Marc Perkel

I have a slightly different take on this.

We can no longer afford NASA because Obama
thinks the super-rich haven't been coddled enough.

Send e-mail to Bart

Obama's team should hire Mario Piperni.
Mario knows how to frame the opponent.

See more at  http://mariopiperni.com

Wake his raping ass up!
Don't let him sleep thru his sentence - make him do every minute.
Seems like the biggest crooks always wiggle out of doing time.
Nixon, the Bush bastards, Ken Lay - they never did a day in prison.

I'm surprised they got Bernie Madoff.

Dick Cheney's Regency
In his book, he disses D.M.F. and boasts of power


Cheney's memoir -- by turns implacable, misleading and frank -- presents strong evidence that he
served as de facto co-president of the United States from the morning of  9-11 until late 2006.
Certainly, the book demonstrates that no vice president in American history has ever wielded
such influence -- some would say control -- of the levers of power in Washington.

His radicalism is served proudly. "I wanted to make sure the governor understood my record
was not moderate," he writes about an early meeting with Der Monkey Fuhrer..

The Cheney Regency featured a canny bureaucratic mandarin waging war in tandem with a
passive chief executive,

"a canny bureaucratic mandarin waging war?"
That looks like English, but what does it mean?

...who shared his views but his not skills. There is nothing comparable in the history of the
American presidency. Some sympathizers have discerned the hand of God in Bush's presidency.
Cheney, a less sentimental observer, gives more credit to himself.

So, Cheney is a massive asshole with delusions of godhood?

Who knew?

BTW, have you seen Tweety lately?
He calls this massive asshole "Cheeney" and insists that others do the same.

Hey Chris, the whole world calls him "Cheney" or "that massive asshole."

Don't try to change world opinion - you don't have the juice to do that.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: "Obama is a very lucky man"

Bart, you wrote:
> "Obama is a very lucky man. The GOP's Great White Hope
>  just lost the votes of every non-rich person over 50." (August 29, 2011)

I think you're forgetting that this is America, and the one thing we can all count on
is the stupidity of the average American.

Nobody knows that better than me.
Currently, Perry has jumped to a double-digit lead in the Repug run-off that's less than a year away:
he's already polling better than Michelle Bachmann and Mitt Romney after only a week or so in the field.
So my guess is that he's a shoe-in for Repug candidate.

That's possible, but Perry has 15 months to make America sick of him.
For some reason, politics is like horse racing - the guy in the lead at the start
rarely maintains that lead.  The guy lurking in 4th place usually ends up winning.
When about half your population looks like this:

Listens to this:
Sorry, I meant this:

Thinks like this:

And votes for this:

Well, then, just about any moron wearing cowboy boots with a Texass accent can get elected.
All he's got to do is talk Jeebus, shoot a gun, and execute an innocent man.
(Of course, being an ex-cheerleader also helps:
Keep up the good work, and thanks for providing a northern wall of sanity
against the unthinking morons that inevitably seem to all come from Texass.

Robin, nobody holds the American voter in lower esteem than me, but I can't see
America signing up for another tour with a brainless, bragging serial-killer from Texas.

If this was October 2012, I'd say Perry has a chance.

But as of August 2011, he still hasn't done a real interview or debate.
He may come off as dumber than Bush.

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

bart blog

  on the Bart Blog!

What 'everyone knows' that ain't true

  1. There are a number things the public "knows" as we head into the election that are just false. If people elect leaders
  2.  based on false information, the things those leaders do in office will not be what the public expects or needs.
    Here are eight of the biggest myths that are out there:
    1. President Obama tripled the deficit.
      Reality: Bush's last budget had a $1.416 trillion deficit. Obama's first budget reduced that to $1.29 trillion.
    1. President Obama raised taxes, which hurt the economy.
      Reality: Obama cut taxes. 40% of the "stimulus" was wasted on tax cuts which only create debt,
    2. which is why it was so much less effective than it could have been.
    1. President Obama bailed out the banks.
      Reality: While many people conflate the "stimulus" with the bank bailouts, the bank bailouts were requested by President Bush
    2. and his Treasury Secretary, former Goldman Sachs CEO Henry Paulson. (Paulson also wanted the bailouts to be "non-reviewable
    3. by any court or any agency.") The bailouts passed and began before the 2008 election of President Obama.
    1. The stimulus didn't work.
      Reality: The stimulus worked, but was not enough. In fact, according to the Congressional Budget Office,
    2. the stimulus raised employment by between 1.4 million and 3.3 million jobs.
    1. Businesses will hire if they get tax cuts.
      Reality: A business hires the right number of employees to meet demand. Having extra cash does not cause a business to hire,
    2. but a business that has a demand for what it does will find the money to hire. Businesses want customers, not tax cuts.
    1. Health care reform costs $1 trillion.
      Reality: The health care reform reduces government deficits by $138 billion.
    1. Social Security is a Ponzi scheme, is "going broke," people live longer, fewer workers per retiree, etc.
      Reality: Social Security has run a surplus since it began, has a trust fund in the trillions, is completely sound for at least 25 more years
    2. and cannot legally borrow so cannot contribute to the deficit (compare that to the military budget!) Life expectancy is only longer
    3. because fewer babies die; people who reach 65 live about the same number of years as they used to.
    1. Government spending takes money out of the economy.
      Reality: Government is We, the People and the money it spends is on We, the People. Many people do not know that it is
    2. government that builds the roads, airports, ports, courts, schools and other things that are the soil in which business thrives.
    3. Many people think that all government spending is on "welfare" and "foreign aid" when that is only a small part of the government's budget.

Thanks to DC Dennis

Sarah Palin Nude!!!


Send e-mail to Bart

Did anybody go to Seattle's Hempfest?
Care to tell us what happens at a Hempfest?

Send e-mail to Bart

Biden in Tulsa today

You watch, I won't even get a phone call...

Subject: Dangers of a Catholic upbringing


Send e-mail to Bart

Why Cavemen Hate Science
by Paul Krugman

Jon Huntsman isn’t a serious contender for the Republican presidential nomination. And that’s too bad,
because Hunstman has been willing to say the unsayable about the GOP — namely, that it is becoming
the “anti-science party.” This is an enormously important development. And it should terrify us.

To see what Mr. Huntsman means, consider recent statements by frontrunners Perry and Romney.

Perry recently made headlines by dismissing evolution as “just a theory,” one that has “got some gaps in it”
— an observation that will come as news to the vast majority of biologists. But what really got peoples’
attention was what he said about climate change: “I think there are a substantial number of scientists who
have manipulated data so that they will have dollars rolling into their projects. And I think we are seeing
almost weekly, or even daily, scientists are coming forward and questioning the original idea that man-made
global warming is what is causing the climate to change.”

That’s a remarkable statement — or maybe the right adjective is “vile.”

The second part of Perry’s statement is, as it happens, just false: the scientific consensus about man-made
global warming — which includes 97 percent to 98 percent of researchers in the field, according to the
National Academy of Sciences — is getting stronger as the evidence for climate change just keeps mounting.

The main development over the past few years has been growing concern that projections of future climate
are underestimating the likely amount of warming. Warnings that we may face burning up by the end of the
century, once considered outlandish, are now coming out of mainstream research groups.

Perry suggests those scientists are just in it for the money, “manipulating data” to create a fake threat.
In his book “Fed Up,” he dismissed climate science as a “contrived phony mess that is falling apart.”

I think *I* could beat this load of shit in an election.

Trick Question:
Hey Rick, at what temperature does water boil?

Odds are he doesn't know - that would make him look stupid -er.

But if he does know, I could reply,
"So, you believe in science on even-numbered days or what?"

OR, travel with a fifth grader and ask him questions:
"Hey kid, how old is the Grand Canyon?"

The kid replies  "two billion years" and then play a clip
of Perry saying the Grand Canyon is only 2,000 years old,
proving to the voters that
he's not as smart as a fifth grader.

I think I could mock him into quitting.

There are a hundred ways to defeat a moron.
Think Obama will try any of them?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: the poor paying taxes...

Somebody ought to ask these dirty doucheschnozzles - if they are so f-ing concerned
that these poor people are not paying any income taxes exactly why they don't promote
policies that would create some good paying jobs that these folks can have so they would
be lifted into the income tax paying class?

Remember what Henry Ford said?

He wanted his cars to be cheap enough that his employees could afford to buy one.
Today's GOP wants the middle class destroyed - so who will buy their American products?

Send e-mail to Bart

My Teabagging Family
 by The Angry Liberal

I spent a few days away with family and friends. Needless to say, many are Republicans and worse yet, Tea Baggers.

I'm sure many of you can sympathize (empathize?) with this situation, looking to spend some R&R time away,
visiting loved ones, catching up with old acquaintances, and yet knowing all the while the political leanings of those
you will meet and that there's always the chance of something being said -- whether it be by them or you -- where if
not handled delicately could domino into a full-blown squabble.


Send e-mail to Bart

No, these numbers are NOT fun to play with.

What kind of moron talks about the national debt
in realation to how high the dollars would stack?

I'd like to kick John Gordon in the balls.

"I have to admit that I was seduced by the idea of Barack Obama.  The idea of a black president,
  a young president, an articulate president, married to such a stand-up woman from a working-class
  family was hard to resist. There were those who warned, but I guess I didn't want to listen.
  We pinned our hopes on a shrewd, ambitious and double-faced political performance artist."
      -- Danny Schechter, Reader Supported News      Link


  I disagree.
  I think Obama is a good man with an odd need to be accepted by his peers.

  But his peers are two-headed, mad f-ing dogs and he seems to not understand that.


Send e-mail to Bart

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Today's Mystery Celebrity


Do you know who the Mystery Celebrity is?

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I haven't hear from Astrocat  in a few days...
I hope he didn't get too close to a bear...

Will it ever end?

This year Tulsa was in the biggest blizzard in history,
affecting over 100 million people from New Mexico to Boston.
After three days, I paid Tractorboy $60 to dig us out.

The biggest blizzard ever followed by a whole summer of 110 degree heat.

Record droughts in Tejas, record flooding in New England.

A hurricane hit New York, tornadoes in Massachusetts.

Remember what God did to Joplin?

Remember what happened in Wichita?
The temperature jumped from 85 degrees at 12:22 a.m. to 102 degrees at 12:42 a.m.
The heat burst was also accompanied by winds of 40 to 50 miles per hour.

I saw on the news last night some power plant in VT
built a 100-year flood wall - it was underwater Sunday.

But don't worry, this has NOTHING to do with global warming.

Name that Song!


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Today's Mystery City


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Subject: last issue's mystery city

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City  remains a mystery...


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Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

Bart, I believe that's Mr "Bay of Pigs" himself - Allen Dulles.
Bill from Napa


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