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Wednesday,  Nov 2,  2011    Vol 2779 - Highjinkerry


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Some OSW-ers Live in Luxury
Arrow God and His 7 Billion Toys
Sarah Palin Nude!!!
Arrow Dick Stone is on the Prowl 
Arrow My Retarded High School
Arrow Cain harrasses White women
Arrow Spend time w/ Angelina Jolie


Imperialism, Corporatism, Militarism: An American Tragedy
by James P. Huchthausen

For 33 percent discount,  use Discount code:   CNGKSXR5

order at

"If you think gay marriage damages that institution,
  I have two words for you:  Kim Kardashian."
       --  CNN reporting a banner on Facebook

  Note: Kardashian was paid millions to marry some basketball player, now she's
  filed for divorce 72 days later.  One report said she got $17M for the wedding.
  Rumors say she didn't like him laying around all day, watching TV.
  Hey lady, ...Kim, the NBA's on strike - he can't go to work!

Send e-mail to Bart

Some OSW-ers Live in Luxury
Right-wing blog craps tons and tons of horseshit


Many “Occupy Wall Street” protesters arrested in New York City “occupy” more
luxurious homes than their “99 percent” rhetoric might suggest, a right-wing rag alledges.

For each of the 984 OWS protesters arrested, police collected and filed an information sheet
recording the arrestee’s name, age, sex, criminal charge, home address and race.
A right-wing rag obtained all of this information from the New York City government.

Among addresses for which information is available, single-family homes listed on those
police intake forms have a median value of $305,000 — a far higher number than the
$185,400 median value of owner-occupied housing units in the United States.

Some of the homes where “Occupy” arrestees reside, viewed through Google Maps
and the Multiple Listing Service real estate database, are the definition of opulence.

This guy is actually saying nothing, but like the vulgar Pigboy,
he has the talent to make it sound like he's saying something.

He says "many" (What does that mean - 25?   2000?) of the protestors live in nice homes.

So - if you have some money, you're a hypocrite to try and save the middle class?
If you have money, you're a hypocrite to want the billion-dollar thieves to be brought to justice?
If you have money, you're a hypocrite to want congress to stop taking bribes to screw to poor?
If you have money, you're a hypocrite to want the super-rich to pay at least as much taxes as the poor?

Out poor brain-dead Democrats can't figure this one out, either.
If a Dempcrat says,  "The super-rich aren't paying their taxes," the super-rich reply.
"Class warfare," and the Democrat feels defeated and goes home with his tail between his legs.

We should've shoved that "class warfare" crap up their asses years ago.

Just like their, "We can't raise taxes on the job creators."

Why doesn't someone say, one time, "What jobs? The super-rich haven't created
a single job since Clinton left office,"
...but they're just too shy, I guess. you find your self drinking earlier every day?


Send e-mail to Bart

Wolf the Whore
I never intend to listen to this mind;ess, bone-headed peacock, but CNN is on in the background as I work.

Yesterday, they showed that Newark-Warsaw flight landing without their wheels.

It was scary, there were sparks, but nobody was injured.
THAT was the story on every network - but CNN.

They'd been showing the footage all afternoon, but when Wolf the Douche came on,
he said, "You won't BELIEVE the drama that unfolde after the plane landed.
Stay tuned for that - you'll want to see this..."

Since I'd already seen the story on CBS, NBC and online, I knew nothing substantial
happened after the plane landed, so I turned off CNN in disgust to protect That Douche.

Anybody have any idea what Wolf the Douche's "unbelieveable drama" was about?

How can CNN allow that joke to represent their network?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Bart, remind your readers that ads on the page
means food on your family,  so PLEASE turn off AdBlocker.

Subject: Pop Up Blocker

Hey Bart,

Make sure people using Adblock know that if they right-click open new tab/window
on one of your pages (Mystery Car, etc.) then the adblock will re-enable for the new page.
 J. D.

JD, thanks for that.

Send e-mail to Bart

Jon Stewart had this on last night.
These are Goldman Sachs employees, pretending to be homeless.

Gosh, that's funny...

They steal your home and then ridicule you.

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Hey, don't laugh - every dollar helps

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on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

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God and His 7 Billion Toys

 by Mark Morford

Seven billion eager souls later, you'd think we'd have it sort of figured out.
Seven billion mewling, wailing, weirdly miraculous babies in to this bizarre human experiment,
you'd think someone would finally understand something of the true nature of things, how to
make it all hold together, to sustain it long-term with joy and gratitude and humility, as opposed
to the far more dominant energies of war and struggle, force and greed and please shut the hell up
before I stab you in the eye with this fork.
"I don't quite know how it happened. One day I was sipping some Maker's and blowing some
hot love into this sweet Ocarina app Moloch gifted me, and the next, boom, seven billion ravenous
little fleshbombs running around like they own the place. I gotta back off the mushrooms." -God
Is it a good time to look? To take momentary stock? Because the U.N. just announced
that the seven billionth human was just born, symbolically anyway,


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: I was seen by a caucasian doctor . . .

Please, at least make an attempt to put the hammer down
on Aristocrap’s racist statements next time, Bart-o.

I didn't see that as racist.

People are afraid that "socialized mediacine" means they have to see
a Puerto Rican doctor or an Indian doctor or a Columbian doctor etc.

I think Astrocat was assuaging their fears, performing a community service.

  Send e-mail to Bart

AIDS isn't the death sentence it once was.

Next week is twenty years since Magic Johnson
announced he was positive for HIV.

Subject: Perkel vs congress

Marc Perkel mentioned on your site that Congress is only going to work 109 days next year.
So the business of the largest most complicated central government in the history of mankind can be run in 2616 hours?

That's not even work hours that's 109 days x 24 hours. Actual work hours might be a 1/4 of that. 

As a public school teacher I work 185 days or 4440 hours. I spend more time educating
the future of the country than Congress spends wasting that future.

NLadd, good point.
Maybe we should vote out the leaders?

Just thing, no more Pelosi, no more Reid, no more Boner and no more Mitch the Bitch.

Then Obama could surrender to different people...

  Send e-mail to Bart

Old timers might get a kick out of this...

Dick Stone is back on the Prowl
His wife's knickname is "Hard and Deep"


Veteran Republican strategist Roger (Dick) Stone says a serious libertarian third-party candidate
could pose a “great danger” to the GOP’s hopes of winning back the White House in 2012.
“It certainly looms out there as a dangerous possibility,” Stone told some right-wing rag.
“The Libertarian Party, for example, is on the ballot in all 50 states, and if we nominate Romney,
then a Teabagger candidate running would pose a great danger for the Republicans.”

Screw all that - we read that on weeks ago.
Let's talk more about Dick Stone.

Many years ago, near the dawn of, this Dick Stone was on Dole's 1996 staff.
Dole was running on the Family Values crap, like the perverts always do.

Then it came out that Dick Stone was putting
swinger ads in DC and Miami newspapers.
(I told you it was a long time ago.)

Dick's ad, 
You gotta check this Link  invited strange men to screw his wife, who "loves it hard and deep."

ha ha

Does it get any better than that?

I wonder if Dick's wife is still letting him pimp her out to strangers in 2011?
I wonder, do they leave a Twenty on the dresser when they're done?

ha ha

Having Dick Stone around is a big plus for the Democrats, for example:.
He makes Anthony Weiner seem really normal by comparison.

  Send e-mail to Bart


When you're in Colorado Springs,
 be sure and dine at Springs Orleans

Hmmmmm, I'm getting hungry right now!

Sarah Palin Nude


Send e-mail to Bart

Cain accuser paid $35K to stay mum about
his gross sexual misconduct and grabby hands

"He was like an octopus on speed" she might say...


More details continue to emerge surrounding the wild sexual misconduct of Herman Cain.

According to The New York Whore Times, one of Cain's accusers was paid a year's salary
following the alleged wild sexual misconduct from the GOP's Mr. Grabby Hands.

The National Restaurant Association gave $35,000 - a year's salary - in severance pay to a
female victim after an encounter with Mr. Grabby Hands, its chief executive at the time,
made her uncomfortable working there, witnesses say.

The Whore Times also said: "The encounter had taken place in the context of a work outing
during which there was heavy drinking, a hallmark, they said, of outings with an organization
that represents the hospitality industry," reports the paper.

So. Mr Grabby Hands didn't attack that poor White woman - it was The Devil!!

Wait, Cain said the woman was paid "a couple of months salary."
That means she was being paid $17,500 a month to work for Cain?

I'll bet she's cute as hell for
$17K a month...

I hope Cain is guilty and I hope the coming-forward girls seem credible
because they
really are destroying this man and what's left of his credibility.

They're giving him the Clinton Treatment but he doesn't have the skills to handle a crisis.

Good thing we learned that now instead of after he gets sworn in, right?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: October...

Bart, I was born in October, and at night- but it wasn't LAST night!

Loved the site until I saw that silly Venn diagram with "Jesus" in the middle. Converted the mindless?
When will folks like Malloy, Maher, and I guess you stop confusing intelligence (or lack of it) with holding religious belief systems.
There's a lot I'm not sure about when it comes to Christianity, I don't ram my beliefs down anyone's throat,
but I can always seem to count on plenty of people I agree with about most things political demonstrating
intolerance and disparaging MY beliefs!
Sensitive? Yea I guess so, but I thought respect for humanity (as Christ preached) was one of the principles underlying liberalism.
I've split with a lot of lefties on this issue, sadly. I can respect their atheism, but it doesn't seem to work both ways.
 JS in Albuquerque, NM

JS, not sure which toon you didn't like, but I actually hold back on some toons that I think go too far.
Just today, that Mark Morford column was actually entitled, Seven billion ways to swallow God.
which seemed a little heavy so I changed it - see what a good guy I am?

True, I don't believe in any Invisible Cloud Beings and I fail to see how any logical person could,
but you don't have to look at me as the enemy.  I'm sure you're wrong, you're sure I'm wrong,
but why can't we embrace what we agree on and let the other parts go?

Also, say you've been reading a year. By my good Catholic math, you've seen about
14,000 toons, jokes, quotes and stories that a reasonable person could find offensive.

In that year, even if you saw 700 things that pissed you off, I'm still batting 95%.

Don't give up on me.
I need all the clicks I can get.

If I stop publishing, who's going to keep our pusillanimous Democrats in line?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


  Send Your "Greatness" Story to Bart

Congrats to those who were able to locate the camouflaged kitty.


Cops Bust Occupy Tulsa
Constitution doesn't apply in Indian Territories


Tulsa police arrested 10 Occupy Tulsa protesters — and pepper-sprayed nine of them, the group claims — after
confronting them after midnight at downtown’s Centennial Park, where protesters have camped since Friday.

The protesters are accused of violating park curfew after they locked arms and refused to leave about 2 a.m.
Five of them also are accused of obstructing officers or resisting arrest.

"No one resisted anybody. They were non-compliant," said Nick Cox, who has been protesting since Saturday.
"They just thought their constitutional right to free assembly overruled local rules."  Excellent line, my friend.

 A post on Occupy Tulsa's Facebook page said 75 officers were there to arrest the ten Democrats.

 “We did exactly what the police said to do not to get pepper sprayed and they still did it,"
another Facebook post said. Nine were sprayed, a post claimed.

I have no experience with being gassed, but that guy looks like he's in pain.

I wish Obama would step in and have an opinion on this.

How long before we hear, "Tin soldiers and Obama coming, we're finally on our own?"

Send e-mail to Bart

MGM attempts online poker
Careful, Obama could order you droned


Casino operators MGM Resorts and Boyd Gaming have unveiled a plan to partner with online
poker company, subject to the legalization of Internet gambling in the United States.

"There is now an overarching opinion in Washington that this needs to be addressed," says MGM boss Jim Murren.
"U.S. citizens are putting their financial assets at risk on sites that the U.S. government has no comfort over how
they are being operated."

Wynn, MGM and others have been lobbying hard for U.S. legalization of online poker -- which they say
is primarily a game of skill, rather than other forms of gambling where the customer is playing against the "house."
"Federal legislation is a vastly better solution ... to avoid any ambiguities in laws," Murren said.

Millions of Americans are already playing online poker on web sites operated from overseas and legalization
would bring that revenue here, where it could be taxed, jobs would be created and integrity could be assured.

Opponents, including groups like the Southern Baptist Convention and President Obama,
say online gambling is an irresponsible way to raise revenue.

Compared to what?  Playing the stock market?   Buying a home in Nevada?    Donating to a Surrendercrat?

Billions of dollars are involved - why not make poker legal and get a piece of that?

Same with alcohol - we can buy it thru state-licensed stores or
from Blind Bob with a Bathtub full of dirty gin.

And anyone who thinks poker is a game of luck and not skill, take $25K to the Aria
and tell them you want to play a few hands in "Phil's Room," and, if you clean
those sharks out, I'll admit poker is as random a gambling as a roulette wheel.

But step carefully - Obama has the world's strongest military and he hates poker!

Thanks to
  for the story

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

        bart blog

  on the Bart Blog!

Subject: Obama's hatred of Pot

Obama is trying his best to NOT be re-elected.  His BASE is collapsing. 

He hasn’t done a thing the middle-to-left of the Democratic Party expected him to do. 
They voted for a Black Guy, and they got a White “Middle of the Road” Guy. 

No wonder most of them won’t even vote in the next election if he is the only choice they have. 
Another generation of disappointed voters.
 J Poratz

Maybe he wants to be a former president?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: My Brush with Greatness



  Send Your "Greatness" Story to Bart - Connecting Global Buyers with China suppliers

Subject: fund-raising idea

I once belonged to an organization that collected dues from members in the members' birth months. 
From the members' viewpoints, there were no random pay-up dates to remember. 

Thanks for doing what you do,
 Karen in Indiana

Karen, thanks for that.

I'll try that - today is November!

Woo Hoo! 
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My Retarded High School
My high school recently had it's 40th Reunion, the Class of 1971.

I didn't go but I thought it might be nice to go thru the photos from
the reunion to see how some of my old buddies turned out.

Here is a typical picture from the online Reunion Report:

Are these some of my old friends that I haven't seen in 40 years?

I have no fucking idea because they ran
hundreds of photos WITH NO NAMES.

What the hell use is a photo without any names connected to it?
Have you ever heard of anything this stupid in your life?
It's like a book of mugshots - with no f-ing names!

Imagine a high school yearbook with no names in it.

"Here's a picture of someone scoring a touchdown at some game."
"Here's a picture of someone making a speech at some event."
"Here's a picture of some guy talking to an EMS tech about something."

Granted, they're Catholics, so that explains some of it, but how in the wide,
wide world of sports is it possible for someone to be this stupid?

If nothing else, name tags would've solved a lot of problems, but noooooooooooo.

I wonder, if this photographer had drawn blood from 100 people, do you think
he would've written the names of the donors on the individual vials?

I'm old, I've seen lots of stupidity in my day, but this might take the cake.

This wasn't A-bomb important, but it's certainly historic, but the cameraman
didn't bother to get any names and that's felony stupidity beyond comprehension.

I sent them a less-than-scathing letter asking why there ware no names with the pictures.
The Dude wrote back, "That's a great suggestion!"

It's not easy being this smart...

Send e-mail to Bart

Business slow?
Time to advertise!

Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the monff

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Even if business is slow,
let people know you're still here.

Today's Mystery Car


Last issue's Mystery Car Revealed       

Hi Bart, I wondered when you would get around to this one.

Last issue's Mystery Car  is Bobby Darin's Dream Car, which can be seen
at the St. Louis Museum of Transportation. As a kid, maybe around 1972-74,
I was on a field trip to the museum with my school when I first saw it.
I was blown away.
Another kid in my class thought it was a "year 2000 car." Heh!
 - Phil in St Louis

Bobby Darin was slightly before my time, but I know he had a hit with Dream Lover,
Maybe the car is related to that?  

Others say it was built from 1959-1963, so it has no real "year" and it's called The Dream Car.

Is is a bad-ass set of wheels.

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery Celebrity


Last issue's Mystery Celebrity  Link 

Hi Bart, that's Kirk Douglas and Brigitte Bardot at Cannes in 1953.
 Stan in Occupied Territories Oklahoma

Send e-mail to Bart

Beautiful Nature Picture

This may blow you away...

...more magic from Astrocat

Wildlife Close-up



Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family...

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Today's Mystery City


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: last issue's mystery city

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City that's Kiev, Ukraine

Jer, you are close - that was Savannah Georgia.


Send e-mail to Bart

Today's History Mystery


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

Bart dude,
That would be Elvis, Joe Esposito, Frank Sinatra and Fred Astaire in Vegas on August 29, 1969.

Some post-performance party in connection with Nancy Sinatra’s show.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Hey BC, I got a notice from Paypal that my subscription to you didn't go through.

So I'm sending it again and adding ten bucks to make up for the misfire.
Sorry your donations are down, but as long as there IS a,
I'll be a BartCop supporter. Until you do, I'll... NEVER QUIT!!

Ray, thanks for putting food on my family.

PayPal can be a pain but I'd still be at the car lot without them.

If you're shopping online,
it never hurts to check Amazon's prices.

Spend time with  Angelina Jolie


  Check out 1214 sexy photos of Angelina Jolie  in  BC Hotties

  Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Marty always has good stuff.

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