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Jan 1-3, 2011    Vol 2802 - No hell below us


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Another Robert Reich Prediction
Arrow Iran threatens US Navy
Defectors and Disinformation
Arrow Katy Perry, Russell Brand Split
Arrow Green Disses John Lennon
Arrow Bartcop Consigliere Shocker
Arrow Supermodel Josie Maran


Check out  http://endof

"The rap on Iowa?  It doesn’t represent the rest of the country…
  It's too white, too evangelical, too rural. Still here, politics are personal.”
     --  NBC's Andrea Mitchell,     Link 

She's right, of course.
 It's ridiculous to hold America's first primary in a state ruled by religious insanity.

Send e-mail to Bart

Another Robert Reich Prediction


Since my New Year's prediction that Obama would select Hillary Clinton for his running mate in 2012

That's not going to happen.
I doubt Hillary will stay on as Sec State once Obama wins re-election.
I think she's going to retire with her 73% approval ratings and live out her life in peace.

(and Joe Biden would become Secretary of State), I've been swamped by requests for my GOP prediction.

What horseshit.
A guy makes a means-nothing prediction, and them is "swamped" by requests for more?

Romney will be the nominee. Romney will choose Marco Rubio for VP. Why do I say this?

First, Romney will need a right-winger to calm and woo the Republican right. Tea Partiers are attracted
to Rubio -- an evangelical Christian committed to reducing taxes and shrinking government. Rubio's meteoric
rise in the Florida House before coming to Congress was based on a string of conservative stances on state issues.

Who gives a rat's ass about Florida issues?
Who knows if Rubio can play on the big stage?
Why would he do any better than Rick Perry?

Rubio is also a proven campaigner, handily winning four House elections starting in 2002,
and then beating Charlie Crist in the 2010 Republican primary -- with the help of Teabaggers.
Moreover, he's only 40, thereby giving the GOP ticket some youthful vigor.

This could happen, but I doubt it.

Romney is still pretty much an unknown to most Americans.
Why would he want a completely unknown Teabagger running with him?


Send e-mail to Bart

"Obama's probably going to lose this election..."
     --  Chris Matthews on Friday's Hardball

  Chris,  I got money that says you're wrong.

  Sure, he could still lose this - he could lay down like Kerry and Gore,
  but if he tries, even just a little bit, he's going to win.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Ask candidates about Bush

In all the debates and all the interviews of all the Republican candidates running for president,
I have not yet heard a single question about former president George W. Bush.

After all, he's the one who got America into the mess we are in so I would think the Bush issue
should be discussed. I'd like to ask the candidates how they would compare and contrast their
policies with that of the Bush administration. From what I see if we vote for any of them
they're just going to do the same thing Bush did. Why would we want to do that again?
 Marc Perkel

Great point.
When you ask a Rethug what his plans are to fix America, they always say,
"We need to cut taxes and get the government off the backs of business."

But Bush did that and bankrupted the whole world.

Only a Republican would think the answer to getting out
of the giant hole Bush pout us into is to continue digging.

Send e-mail to Bart

If we could just get the Democrats to list the facts...

Iran threatens US Navy
The fifth grader is asking for trouble


Iran threatened on Tuesday to take action if the U.S. Navy moves an aircraft carrier into the Gulf,
Tehran's most aggressive statement yet after weeks of saber-rattling as new financial sanctions take
a toll on its economy.

The prospect of sanctions targeting the oil sector in a serious way for the first time has hit Iran's currency,
which reached a record low on Tuesday and has fallen by 40 percent against the dollar in the past month.

Queues formed at Tehran banks and some currency exchange offices shut their doors as Iranians
scrambled to buy dollars to protect their savings. On world markets, oil prices soared.

Army chief Ataollah Salehi said the United States had moved an aircraft carrier out of the Gulf
because of Iran's naval exercises, and Iran would take action if the ship returned.

"Iran will not repeat its warning...the enemy's carrier has been moved to the Sea of Oman because
of our drill. I recommend and emphasize to the American carrier not to return to the Persian Gulf," he said.

"I advise, recommend and warn them over the return of this carrier to the Persian Gulf
because we are not in the habit of warning more than once."

When we argue about Iran, people say, "Iran isn't crazy enough to committ suicide."

After seeing what we did to Iraq and Afghanistan, Iran says, "Let's see you try that with us?"

BTW, since we last talked about this, the IAEA says Iran IS working on nukes and Leon Panetta
says Iran will have the bomb in a year - or less if they have underground facilities we're not aware of.

Send e-mail to Bart

This is one of Romney's homes - in Utah

Seeing the ads puts food on my family,
PLEASE turn off your AdBlocker.

Katy Perry, Russell Brand Split


I hate to see it - I like them both.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Tim Tebow


I am not a football fan and really don’t know much about the whole Time Tebow thing
other than media sound-bites. So, please don’t take this as anything other than an intellectual inquiry.

You stated: “When Tebow wins, he says "God won this game, not me."

I did a quote search on-line for some time and can’t find that quote anywhere.
Are you sure your information is correct? Can you name your source?

Dr. Jeff, Professor of Low Brass

DR Jeff, I've never lived in Miami or Denver.
I know very little about Tim Tebow other than the fact that everyone says
that every word out of his mouth is "Jesus this and Jesus that."

Plus, when one "does a Tebow," they get on their knees and point to the sky.

Send e-mail to Bart

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Defectors and Disinformation
  by Robert Parry


A new American war hysteria is rising, this time over Iran, and – like its predecessor with Iraq – this one
employs “defectors” who come forward, often under the umbrella of neocon organizations, to impart alarming tales.

I think that's crazy talk.
The latest example is a “default judgment” by a U.S. federal judge implicating Iran in the 9/11 attacks.
It is based largely on Iranian “defectors” whose testimony was given without Iranian lawyers or anyone else
present to challenge the lurid claims. Since Iran has no diplomatic relations with the United States and rejects
the judgments of U.S. courts, the “default judgment” was predictable.

Parry used to bat 1,000, in baseball terms.
Lately, his average is closer to what the major league hitters have.

Who thinks we're going to war with Iran?
I certainly don't.
Iran would have to commit the most blantant mega-crime possible (like grabbing a US ship) for Obama
to even consider taking action against them.

And if we do take some military action against them, it damn sure won't be a "war."
Obama may decide to "slap" Iran, which is the action he should've taken a year or two ago
but we're damn sure not sending troops to Iran - why is Parry pounding on that drum?

Nevertheless, it is being used as another talking point for launching a war against Iran.
[See Gareth Porter’s analysis, “Muslim Haters Tie Iran to 9/11.”]

WHO is "Launching" a war against Iran?

Certainly not Obama, certainly not Hillary.
Is Parry predicting the military will attack Iran without authorization?

And why does Parry think Obama is another Der Monkey Fuhrer?
Why does Parry think Hillary is another Cheney?
Who are these "neocons" who are preparing for war with Iran?
Beyond the exaggerations and falsehoods of this Iran-9/11 argument,

Bob, what the hell are you talking about?
Because some unnamed judge issued a "default judgement," you think Obama is going to war? is also worth recalling how Iraqi “defectors” were deployed in the run-up to war with Iraq.
American journalists and intelligence analysts were either duped or overwhelmed by the sheer
number of these “walk-ins.”

Actually, "Curveball" and the others were recruited and welcomed by the Bush bastards
to create a false reason to invade Iraq.
  Once again, Obama isn't Bush and Hillary isn't Cheney.

I don't believe Robert Parry really thinks we're going to war with Iran,
so what is the point of this series of columns predicting this coming war?
Yet, as the CIA and the Senate Intelligence Committee belatedly discovered, some “defectors” had been
coached by the neocon-backed Iraqi National Congress, which was fabricating a casus belli around Iraq’s
alleged WMD stockpiles and Iraq’s purported ties to al-Qaeda to justify the U.S. invasion of Iraq.

Yes, and Obama is too smart and too honest to walk the same path the Bush bastards took.

If I can see that, why can't Parry?

Send e-mail to Bart

Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Subject: Gingrich fraud

When Gingrich’s campaign turns in 1500 fraudulent voter registrations it is a simple mistake.

But when Acorn turns in Mickey Mouse we have to overhaul the entire election process
to stop the liberal niggers from stealing the election.

Subject: Gingrich fraud

When that happened to Acorn, they were accused of committing voter fraud. 
Does that mean that Newt has been committing voter fraud too?

It's only an issue of the Democrats make it one.

They're Just not into listing the facts.

See more at

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


Send in YOUR brush with greatness

Sarah Palin Nude


Subject: Rocky Anderson

Hey Bart,

I saw the question from someone about Ross "Rocky" Anderson, former mayor of Salt Lake City. 

He was a real firebrand here and was re-elected whenever he ran, which says how liberal the actual
city of Salt Lake is (SLC is only a small part of the Salt Lake valley).  He kept the streets clean,
he filled the potholes, he kept crime down, and he always seemed to work well with the city's
real rulers, the Mormons; but he also totally pissed off the far-right Utah legislature every chance he got. 

They hated him and it often worked to the city's detriment, because the repukes in the Utah lege
hated him so much that they would withhold funding for the city because of him.  When he organized
an anti-Bush protest when Dubya showed up at some veterans conference in Salt Lake, their collective
heads just about exploded, much to my delight.  He's very liberal and very progressive, much, much more
so than Obama.  So no, Rocky doesn't have a chance in H-E-double hockey sticks as we say in Eutaw of
winning the presidency, he just wants to stir things up.  And he's really, really good at that.

keep hammerin',
rdale in Euta

After that was posted I remembered who Rocky Anderson was.

Send e-mail to Bart

Click here to Get "Razors and Rose Petals --The Cliff Johnson CD that Helps Bart buy Catfood.

Cee Lo Green Disses John Lennon


Cee Lo Green's re-writing of the lyrics to John Lennon's song "Imagine" is causing a very big uproar.

Charged with singing Lennon's famous tune on New Year's Eve, Green changed the lyrics from
"Nothing to kill or die for, And no religion too" to "Nothing to kill or die for, And all religion's true."

The change didn't go unnoticed, and to preempt criticism, he soon tweeted,
"Yo I meant no disrespect by changing the lyric guys! I was trying to say
  a world were u could believe what u wanted that's all."

Hey, Cee Lo, big fuck-up here.
You don't "fix" the words of our martyrs.

What's next, "Ask not, what Cee Lo Green can do for you?"


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: guitar players

Bart, man. I know I don't have your passion for music (I like a good tune, but my musical palette
isn't particularly refined. I can never identify who does what), but I have something impressive for you.

Chances are you've seen this before, but this kid is pretty damn impressive:

Ben Lapps plays Squaredance

-Eric from Boston

Eric, thanks for that.
This will make some people angry, but that's the kind of guitar playing I hate.

Sure, he's got the mechanics down, he's amazing, but does anyone want to hear it?
I couldn't even make it thru the whole song.

Like Eddie Van Halen, the kid has one style, one speed.
I clicked on some other songs of his and they're all the same.

He's lightning-fast with his triple-hammering - but he's got no soul.
A song like "Going to California" doesn't need lightning-fast triple-hammering

I wish the kid luck, but he'll never fill a stadium.

Send e-mail to Bart

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Bartcop Family Catholic Consigliere Shocker


Subject: Santorum surge

Bart, am I the only one who is really afraid of surging Santorum?
 Mike in Maine:

Mike, not to worry.
He can only surge in religiously insane states.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Permanent Amazon link to help Bart

Hey BC, here is a better Amazon link for you:

  Brad in CA

Brad, thanks for that.
Anything that makes it easier to buy things will help a lot.

Every purchase helps The Tequila Treehouse and costs you nothing.

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

        bart blog

  on the Bart Blog!

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


Send in YOUR brush with greatness

Subject: fund-raising idea

Some organization collect dues from members in their birth month. 
  Karen in Indiana

Karen, thanks for that.

Born in January folks - can you spare a donation?

Donations are accepted.

You could PayPal something to

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Today's Mystery Car


Last issue's Mystery Car Revealed

Bart, Last issue's Mystery Car  is obviously a Chrysler DeSoto but the year is tough.

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery Celebrity


Last issue's Mystery Celebrity  Link 

Bart – that's John Belushi and Chevy Chase, backstage on Saturday Night Live, 1975-1976 season.

Send e-mail to Bart

Wildlife Close-up


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Today's Mystery City


Subject: last issue's mystery city

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is the Gangnam district of Seoul, South Korea.
The view is from the World Trade Center Seoul.


Send e-mail to Bart

Today's History Mystery



Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

That looks like the Grable test of the nuclear cannon at the Nevada Test Site on May 25, 1953.

From the Nuclear Weapon Archive web site:

This is the first test of a nuclear artillery shell (Grable for "gun") - the 280 mm AFAP (artillery fired
atomic projectile).  The shot was an artillery delivered airburst. The shell travelled 11,000 yards before
detonation which occurred 86 feet west, 137 feet south, and 24 feet above the designated burst point.
The 280 mm shell was also a "gun" weapon in another sense, it used a "gun-type" fission weapon
assembly method like the Little Boy bomb. This was in fact the first test of a gun-type bomb
(and second detonation - Hiroshima not being a test). The predicted yield was 14 kt.
  Kenny G

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Bart, I really look forward to your site mostly because it makes me laugh.
You are dead on when it comes to the issues and sometimes all you can do is laugh.

I'm getting ready to send a child to college so $5 is the best I can do.
Good luck from a fan in PA.

PS. I hate the Cowboys as much as you do.

Rod, thanks for that.
Yes, the Cowboys lost again so I have to wait until next year to hate them. 

If you're shopping online,
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Supermodel Josie Maran

Check out
sexy and tasteful photos of Josie Maran in  BC Hotties

  Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties.

  Send e-mail to Bart

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