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Thurs-Friday  January 19-20, 2011    Vol 2812 - Bum palooka


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Obama rejects Tar Sands Pipeline
Arrow Romney's Cayman Islands Stash
Marianne Gingrich is Pissed!
Arrow Willard - Obama's dream opponent
Arrow The Costa Concordia disaster
Arrow Niggerhead Quits Campaign
Arrow Bachelor-chaser Jennifer Love Hewitt


"Newt said he wanted to bang me and Callista - he asked for an open marriage.
  And I just stared at him and he said, 'Callista doesn't care what I do,'" 

     -- Marianne Gingrich, calling Newt and Callista a couple of kinky sluts,    Video

Send e-mail to Bart

Obama rejects Tar Sands Pipeline 

Obama, acting like a Democrat for a chnge, rejected the Keystone crude oil pipeline project yesterday,
a decision welcomed by environmental groups but blasted by the domestic energy industry.

Obama said the application for the 1,700-mile pipeline was denied because the State Department
did not have enough time to complete the review process.

"This announcement is not a judgment on the merits of the pipeline, but the arbitrary nature of a deadline
that prevented the State Department from gathering the information necessary to approve the project and
protect the American people," Obama said in a statement.

With environmental groups concerned about carbon emissions from oil sands production, Obama
delayed a decision on a presidential permit for the project until 2013.

But lawmakers that support the project attached a measure to a tax-cut law passed at the end
of last year that set a February deadline for a decision.

What is he up to?

Is Obama putting a move on the Republicans?
In November, Obama announced that he wouldn't make a decision until 2013.

I thought the GOP would howl like the stuck pigs they are, but now Obama jumps in
to say "No," when nobody was expecting the issue to come up?

He seems to be handing the GOP a campaign issue.
"Obama cares more about environmental extremists than jobs,"
so he must think he can out-wit them on this issue.

What is he up to?

BTW, if the Democrats had any brains, (should I bother to finish this sentence?)
they should NOT call this issue "The XP Pipleline" or the "Keystone Pipeline."

They should call this "The Tar Sands Pipeline" which reminds people
it could spill millions of gallons of tar all over our beautiful America prairie
if the greedy and evil oil bastards are able to get it built.

Democrats - why can't they think?

Send e-mail to Bart

Romney's Cayman Islands Stash
 ...where drug lords keep their money

Although it is not apparent on his financial disclosure form, Willard Romney
has millions of dollars sitting in the Cayman Islands, just like a nasty-ass drug lord.

As the race heats up, Willard is finding it difficult to maintain secrecy around his vast
personal wealth, including his funds located offshore and his "rich man's" 15% tax rate.

"His personal finances are what's wrong with the American tax system," said Jack Blum,
a Washington lawyer who is an authority on tax enforcement and offshore banking.

Romney disclosed that he has been paying a far lower percentage in taxes than most Americans,
around 15 percent.  Romney's Republican rivals have driven the tax issue onto center stage.

"I can tell you we follow the tax laws," he said.

Even if that's true, it means nothing because the tax laws were written by other crooked millionaires
who decided they don't need to pay taxes - leaving us little people trying to pay America's bills.

If the Democrats cou;ls muster three brain cells between them, they should be able to convince
non-millionaires that they're getting screwed and that's why the country is bankrupt.

Warren Buffet pays a lower rate of taxes than his secretary.
Why can't the Democrats make that an issue?

Why can't Democrats think?

Send e-mail to Bart

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   "Bitter" doesn't begin to describe her rage at Newt


Newt Gingrich’s bitter ex-wife is set to spill the beans on the bastard — a potential bombshell
just days before his make-or-break primary showdown with Mitt Romney in South Carolina.

Marianne Gingrich — who divorced the slimy Newt in 1999 and has threatened to torpedo
his running for president — gave an interview expected to air tonight on “Nightline.”

Team Gingrich is already bracing for the worst from the revelations — which will come
on the same night as a pivotal GOP debate in terribly-racist South Carolina.

In 1995, when Vanity Fair magazine asked Marianne what would happen if Newt ran
for president, she boasted she could derail the bid with a single TV interview.

“He can’t do it without me,” she said.
“I told him if I’m not in agreement, fine, it’s easy.
“I just go on the air the next day, and fuck him to death...
I don’t want him to be president, and I don’t think he should be.”

Marianne, now's not the time.
Let Newt get closer to his dream before you crush him.

Send e-mail to Bart


Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

BTW, Williard actually lost Iowa
The whore press continues to say he won there


So, you know that oft-repeated line about how Mitt Romney is the first Republican to win both
Iowa and New Hampshire? It turns out it’s probably not true — but we’ll never know for sure.

In the final count, Rick Santorum had a 34-vote edge over Romney, 29,839 to 29,805.
But there’s a catch:

Results from eight precincts are missing  — and will never be recovered and certified,
Republican Party of Iowa officials said Wednesday.

America - we can't get an election right to save our lives.

Send e-mail to Bart


The Costa Concordia disaster off Italy

The good news it's not just America that is super-retarded.
The bad news is that it seems the whole world is - not just us.

Here is the route the 4,000-passenger ship was supposed to take
and the route the idiot drunk at the wheel actually took:

I think I remember reading the damn ship costs $470M and it's probably a total loss.
They said they may have to cut it in pieces to move it back to the repair yard.

PLUS, preliminary disaster costs, I suppose after litigation, are expected to be $90M.

My question is - why wasn't this $470M ship, with another $90M to lose, not to mention
the future business they'll lose my letting a drunken handjob drive the damn thing,
equipt with a goddamn iPhone with a GPS?

There must be 50,000 people in America who could write a program that would
send an emergency e-mail to the home office when the ship veered off-course.

I have an iPhone.
It can tell when I leave my La-Z-Boy and walk twenty feet to the bedroom,
but Carnival had no way to know where their damn ship is?

If Carnival Cruise Lines was half as smart as IQ-of-64 Bartcop,
they would've had that ship emailing home a warming a full hour BEFORE
the idiot drove the ship onto the reef and killed 20-30 people.

Worse, they say the idiot captain was show-boating - that's why those people died.

He was trying to show how close he could get to the shore without killing anybody.
That should add an extra $50M to the litigation for punitive damages.

Carnival immediately blamed the captain - what that a good move?
"We only hire rule-breaking, hot-dogging morons to drive our biggest ships."

Really, Carnival?

What in the world could be their rationale for NOT having the ship on GPS?
Did Carnival balk at the $20 a month the iPhone costs for their f-ing GPS service?

So, by saving that $20, Carnival will now pay about $600M in costs and litigation,
not to mention the fines for being reckless and the potential $70M in lost business
and the
extra $50M for punitive damages.

That's $820M in losses they could've avoided for $20 a month.

THIS IS WHY countries needs more government.
Billionaire corporations won't spend $20 a month to protect the lives of 4,000 customers.

Last thing:
I believe Carnival Cruise Lines made $11 BILLION in profits in 2010 and
they paid ZERO federal income taxes to America because our crooked congress
was bought-off to give them the tax-loopholes which helped bankrupt America.

Christ, if we only had a Democrat in the White House.

He'd fix this mess...

 Send e-mail to Bart

'Niggerhead' Quits Campaign
Constant "Ooops" kill White House run


Gov. Niggerhead announced an end to his presidential campaign Thursday:
He endorsed Newt Gingrich during an 11 a.m. press conference.

Perry, who was at the top of the polls when he first announced his candidacy,
turned out to be dumber than fucking Bush, which I didn't think was possible.

Send e-mail to Bart

Sarah Palin Nude


Subject: you are a phony

Yo, I see that you were all against the Iraq War posting stuff all the time on your commie webpage
( connecting folks with Chinese manufacturers, not American ones mind you,
but now you have 2 Ron Jeremy rubber penisis shoved up yer ass fantasizing about an Iranian War.

Are you trying to set the record for most wrong shit ever sent in one e-mail?

You are an ignorant fool with no knowledge of history and a loyal commie in yer already littered commie
democrat party. You are about as useful as Limbaugh or Hannity. Nothing but controlled media rubbish!
  Robert Chavez

I think I could probably refute your nonsensical horseshit
but first I'd need a clue to what the fuck you were talking about.

Am I willing to do business with China the way America does?
Sure, why wouldn't I?

Nobody is fantasizing about war with Iran except perhaps Robert Parry.

Did I say I was a history expert?

I'm publishing "controlled media rubbish?"
Who is paying me to publish this rubbish and where are my damn paychecks?

Next time you feel brave enough to attack somebody via e-mail, try to make your
attack coherent so readers can have a clue what's the fuck you're trying to say.

Do you work safety for Carnival Cruises?

Send e-mail to Bart

Click for info and to order

Nitt Witt Hill [Paperback] just $12.44

What's causing the country and now the President to lose their crackers and voters to elect Nitt Witts?
Clowns and Turkeys are running Congress and the Nitt Witts are everywhere.
But will one more Clown in Congress make any difference?
Would the country be better off with some real Turkeys instead of those Clowns?
Or are the Nitt Witts destined to run Washington?
Set on historic Nitt Witt Ridge in Cambria, California and Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.,
Sebastian Gibson's satire paints the absurdities of the political world
and of daily life with his unique sense of humor.

Better Amazon link

Thanks, they send me pennies...

Subject: SOPA: it's worse to download Katy Perry than to shoot a cop

Bark, I heard that under the proposed SOPA one could get a
five year jail sentence for downloading a Michael Jackson song;

That’s a year longer than his doctor got for killing him.
   Heathen in Miami

Heather, great point.

Congress needs to realize how crooked they look
when they make downloading a song a bigger crime than murder.

Plus, I kinda like the nickname "Bark."

Send e-mail to Bart

Did anybody catch the recent Shirley photo?

Check out the news and toons at

        bart blog

Read all about it!

  on the Bart Blog!

Subject: Reply to Internet Blackout Article

Bart, you wrote:

> We might eventually need the Internet to overthrow a tyrannical government
> so keeping the Internet open and working is a great idea.

That phrase tells it all. 

The powers that be aren't really interested in a kid uploading a video of a Katy Perry song.
They are scared to death of the Internet's power to expose their scams and swindles. 
These bills are all about crippling or eliminating the little guy's AKA the 99% ability
to network and protest and of activists to expose the wrongdoing of the 1%. 

You are right about keeping the internet open and working is in the interest of the little guy
but not in the interest of the 1 percenters.  Since 99.99% of Congress is bought and paid for
by the fat cats that is why these bills have been introduced and promoted. 

I hope that these bills die a well deserved death but I'm not going to hold my breath.



Send e-mail to Bart

Willard - Obama's dream opponent
Anyone could beat the Rat Man


The latest news in Mitt Romney-land is that he has been parking offshore some of the proceeds
from his slash-and-burn adventures in America’s private sector. You’ve got to love a guy like this.
When he falls off a cliff, he doesn’t stop to watch the seagulls.

ABC said that Romney deposited  millions of dollars of his personal wealth “in investment funds set up
in the Cayman Islands, a notorious Caribbean tax haven.” Let’s be clear: this is perfectly legal. It’s also,
for a businessman, perfectly ethical. The tax laws allow it, as long as it isn’t used to evade taxes—as
Romney’s people insist. But it also stinks, as Romney is utilizing the same kind of offshore havens that
organized crime and white-collar criminals use to avoid detection. In other words, it’s very much like
pretty everything else Romney did at Bain Capital: it looks dreadful to the people who f-ing vote.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


Send in YOUR brush with greatness

MSNBC News Flash...

Romney's lead in South Carolina is down to FIVE points...

But wait until Marianne Gingrich calls Newt "pervert" on Nightline tonight.

And what does it say about Catholic Callista that, according to Marianne,
she's willing to share Newt with other women?

Newt changed his religion to be with a swinger?

See how phony religion is?

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: fund-raising idea

Some organization collect dues from members in their birth month. 
  Karen in Indiana

Karen, thanks for that.

Born in January and July folks - can you spare a donation?

(It's a long way to July...)

Donations are accepted.

You could PayPal something to

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Thank you

I Was Born in January/July Bart

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


Send in YOUR brush with greatness

Subject: Seattle Snowmageddon

Hi Bart,

We are snowed in here in Seattle.   Not the Donner Party Palooza yet though.   
Thank you for keeping your site up on the day that others are shutting down
on SOPA and PIPA protest day.  Stay warm.

 Doug, Engineer with a Conscience

Send e-mail to Bart

Bartcop's Worldwide Computer Repair

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We come to you!

Today's Mystery Car


Last issue's Mystery Car Revealed

Bart, Last issue's Mystery Car  is an M4S/PPG Pace Car.
It had a Chrysler 2.2 block and five speed manual with a Cosworth 16-valve twin-cam head,
dual Garrett T25 turbos, and Bosch fuel injection, making 440 hp with 0-60 in 4.1 seconds
and a 12.9 quarter with 195 mph top speed (Road & Track figures).
Charlie Ray

The Dodge/PPG car was Charlie Sheen's car in the movie "The Wraith".
Probably powered by his atomic cheetah-like sweat.
 Steve in MT

Send e-mail to Bart

American Idol chatter 

Did you see Phillip Phillips last night?

He started with a Joe Cocker-ish version of Stevie Wonder's Supersitition.

Then he did a jazzy/country, Richie Havens-ish version of Michael Jackson's Thriller,
which is kinda guaranteed to suck - but it came out amazing.


He looks like this year's Casey Abrams. (Compliment)
If Tally was still speaking to me, I think she'd agree.
People who don't watch Idol "because everyone talks about it" are weird.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: SOPA and fines


Every DVD has a warning that copying can result in a $250,000 fine.
Coincidentally, the GOP with their "Tort Reform", which should really be called
"Damage Recovery Limits" sets the maximum pain and suffering at, you guessed it: $250,000.

So, do they feel a human's quality of life when wrongfully taken, should only be worth a copy of a DVD?
Or is it that taking a copy of a DVD from them should cost you your life.

Doesn't matter which way, does it.
Keep swinging the hammer.
 Ray K

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery Celebrity


Last issue's Mystery Celebrity  Link 

Bart – that's former TV star and recording artist Shelly Fabares.

Shelly was really hot - forty years ago

Send e-mail to Bart

Wildlife Close-up  


Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family...

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: My Brush with Greatness


Send in YOUR brush with greatness

Business slow?
Time to advertise!

Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the monff

Click Here to get more Hits

Even if business is slow,
let people know you're still here.

Today's Mystery City


Subject: last issue's mystery city

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City?

Bart  that's Austin, Texas.
Larry in Austin, Texas


Send e-mail to Bart

Today's History Mystery


Subject: Wednesday's history mystery clarification
Bill Miller is Stephanie's father
In 2008 she and CC Goldwater, Barry Goldwater's daughter, ran for the presidency. 
I think they were the Party Party.  CC is just a good looking as Stephanie by the way.

Also, what use to be KKGN 960 is now KNEW 960 and they took Stephanie off the
morning 6-9 slot and they're stinkin' up the airwaves with Glenn Beck.  Then in the
6-9 evening they moved Mike Malloy back to midnight and  replaced him financial
horseshit that is sure to get more suckers to give up money to the Wall St.

All Hail Clear Channel.
 Eric X

Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

Bart, that's Franklin D, Roosevelt and Douglas McArthur
flanked by secret service people, and theres a swabby driving.
 The Ole Vet, who turned 85 recently

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Hi Bart, hope this puts some food on your family.
Love your site--keep on truckin'.
  Matt in Poultney, VT

Matt, thanks for that.

If you're shopping online,
it never hurts to check prices.

Bachelor-chaser Jennifer Love Hewitt


Check out
sexy, tasteful photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt  in  BC Hotties

  Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Marty always has good stuff.

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