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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.


Weekend-Monday  Feb 2-4, 2013    Vol 3009 - Mohawk

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Muhammad Ali's health failing
Drought to Continue
Burger King Admits Horsemeat
Arrow Graham Grills Chuck Hagel
Arrow Pastor "Sorry" for Tackiness
Arrow Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
Arrow Kentucky Senator?  Ashley Judd


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"America. Where they're more likely to come for your birth control than your guns."
    --  LOLGOP in a tweet

  Send e-mail to Bart

Muhammad Ali's health failing
Brother says he could be dead in days

Muhammad Ali is fading and may die before long, his younger brother says,
but Ali's wife and a daughter say the boxing great is fine.
Ali, 71, is in terminal decline from Parkinson's disease.
 "I know him better than anyone," said Rahman Ali, 69.
"My brother can't speak -- he doesn't recognize me. He's in a bad way. He's very sick," Rahman Ali said.
"It could be months, it could be days. I don't know if he'll last the summer," the younger Ali said.
"He's in God's hands. We hope he gently passes away.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Shop Online  sells  everything

Find your purchase
then come back here
and use this link

and they'll throw the Treehouse some pennies...

Amazon business has been slower than usual.
I hope things pick up between now and Christmas
because Amazon has become my financial lifeline.

Extra thanks to those of you who
use the Amazon Portal.

Someone bought a
Bowflex Adjustable Bench Series 3.1
for $123.95 (cheap!) so Amazon donated $4.50 to the Treehouse! 

I think everyone needs a rock-hard body.

Thanks for using this link

Buy online
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Look for 'bartcop' in the link when you place the order.


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Midnight - 3 AM

What if this isn't a drought?
What if, due to global warming, this is the new normal?

If the Mississippi River runs dry - then what?

I suppose the Jim Inhofe's of the world will continue saying that global warming
is a hoax - but can man survive in a perma-drought and 115-degree summers?

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: New winning election strategy/reality TV show pitch

Dem's should push for mandatory gun ownership laws in every red state.

But we should also push for those states to have no minimum drinking age, no licensing of drivers,
no drug laws, no inspection of foods, no regulation of drugs, no licensing of any professional service
providers, no consumer protection laws, no regulation of their financial industries, no social security,
no medicare, no minimum wage, and no unemployment benefits.

Let them all return to the Hobbesian state of nature, where they are all completely "free" in the
Randian sense, but where life is "nasty and short."  The true "makers" will fly out of those libertarian
paradises on the underground railroad for the relative paradises of the blue states, and the "takers" who
fancy themselves as "makers" (the Koch brothers, the Walton family (how ironic that is)) will eventually
be gunned down by the ignorant, liquored-up but now massively well-armed workers they abuse. 

The bottom line is that, in time, there will be fewer and fewer teabagger idiots and the greedheads who
manipulate them.  The true beauty here is that we can use natural selection, which they don't believe in,
to drive them to extinction.  We just need to give it a little push every now and then to compress the time line.

Finally, we can televise it all on TV, like in the "Hunger Games" or its earlier incarnation "The Running Man."
If you want to know what the resulting show might be like, check out an episode of "Buckwild."

  Send e-mail to Bart

I figured this out when I was six years old.
The nuns told us Lucifer was an angel who organized a revolt
in Heaven and I wondered, "Why didn't God see that coming?"

And even in Heaven, you have to watch your back?
I remember thinking, "*I* could come up with a more
believeable story than this and I'm only six f-ing years old."

Another thing: The nuns also said the Pharisees (whoever)
would ride into town and say, "Who here is a Christian?"
and those people who raised their hands were boiled in oil.
I remember thinking,
"Not me. I'm keeping my hands in my damn pocket."
If you can't fool a six year old
maybe your bullshit story needs more work.

Subject: How I Knew I Was Gay

Hey Bart,

I knew I was gay when I attended a Boy Scout troop pageant at age 11.
The Eagle Scouts were performing dances wearing American Indian garb.

This consisted of elaborate feathered head gear, leather moccasins and very
skimpy little breach cloths.  Nothing else.  And I got to take one of the feathered
head dresses home for safe keeping.  Bliss.  But they wouldn't let me take any
of them breach cloths!

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out Garland Nixon's radio show

Burger King admits Horsemeat charge
It's the only burger that comes when you whistle

Burger King has admitted that it has been selling burgers and Whoppers in the UKcontaining
horsemeat despite two weeks of denials.  The fast food chain, which has more than 500 UK
outlets, had earlier given a series of ‘absolute assurances’ that its products were not involved.
However, new tests have revealed these guarantees were incorrect in a revelation that threatens
to destroy the trust of customers.   Burger King has faced allegations of orchestrating a cover-up
of its links to the horsemeat scandal in order to give it time to find an alternative supplier.
It is currently shipping in burgers from Germany and Italy in order to meet demand at its UK outlets.

There's still a demand for Burger King burgers in the UK?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Graham Grills Chuck Hagel
"You brute! You brute! You brute!"


Sen. Lindsey Graham, (R-Bottom) pressed Chuck Hagel about an interview in which Hagel
referred to the “Jewish lobby.” Graham asked: “Name one dumb thing we’ve been goaded
into doing by the Israeli, Jewish lobby.”

How about attacking someone who, apparently, had two less-than-skillfully-phrased comments
about Israel in a long career.

The comments in question were from 2006, in an interview with Middle East analyst Aaron
David Miller. “The political reality is that the Jewish lobby intimidates a lot of people up here,”
Hagel said. “Again, I have always argued against some of the dumb things they do because
I don’t think it’s in the interest of Israel. I just don’t think it’s smart for Israel.”

In his confirmation hearings Thursday, Hagel again expressed regret for those comments.
“I’ve already said I regret referencing the Jewish lobby,” Hagel said. “I should have said
pro-Israel lobby. I think it’s the only time on the record I’ve ever said that.” He added that
he should have said “influence,” not “intimidate,” and “I should not have said ‘dumb’ or
‘stupid’ because I understand, appreciate there are different views in these things.”

We recently ran this toon:

We get the joke - so what does it mean when you're not allowed to
mention Israel in any kind of less-than-flattering comment?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart

There's a reason why some people don't have kids...


  Send e-mail to Bart

Pop TV Quiz

On Person of Interest, how did Reese's dog (Bear) get his name?

Pop Movie Quiz

In Pulp Fiction, when Marcellus Wallace is giving Bootch the Boxer (Bruce Willis)
the big "Pride" speech, what Obama song is playing in the background?

Bart, that’s Al Greene’s “Let’s Stay Together” playing during the scene.
  Rick P

Send e-mail to Bart

Pastor "Sorry" for Tackiness
But she got the bitch waitress fired


The St. Louis pastor responsible for the credit card receipt heard ‘round the Internet
termed her snide scribblings a “lapse in my character and judgment,” adding that the
Applebee’s employee who posted the receipt online was fired yesterday after Pastor
lodged a complaint with restaurant managers.

In a TSG interview, Alois Bell said that the online firestorm created by the receipt has
left her stunned. “My heart is really broken,” said the 37-year-old Bell. “I’ve brought
embarrassment to my church and ministry.”

Well, the good news is you got that c-word waitress fired.

The poor waitress isn't in the lucrative business of stealing from the sick and the old.
No, she was waiting tables at a fucking Applebees, for Christ's sake.

Maybe she has kids to feed - did you think about that?
Maybe her husband hasn't worked since Bush ruined the economy.
Or worse, maybe he smacks her around because their lives are such shit and then YOU,
a "Woman of God" comes along with your shitty attitude and get her fired from her shit job.

Yep, that's what Jesus would've done: Retaliate and take revenge and
get that uppity c-word fired from her shit job.  That'll teach her - Bitch!

 Send e-mail to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff
every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer

We do the repairs magically, over the Net.

Follow us on Twitter and Facebook
Get updates when a new issue goes up.

It's Stranger Mystery Car Week


The cars this week are all weird, weird cars from weird places.
If you get close, we'll call it a win.

 Subject: last issue's Mystery Car    Link

Bart, that's a 1971 Buick Gran Sport convertible.

The front bumper on a 70 is different, and a 72 (which I had)
had a thin black rubber strip across the front bumper and a
slightly darker grille, so that's definitely a 71.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Know Your Classics


 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Bart, that is James Joyce's "Ulysses," which changed all the rules on novels.
 Matthew in CA

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Today's Don't Look Down Picture


 Craziest Don't Look Down Picture ever?

 Send e-mail to Bart

Know your Supermodels


 Subject: Last issue's supermodel     Link

 Even with all those clues, nobody got Arielle Kebbel?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Safe for Work, 90 seconds, cool

Today's Wildlife Photo




  Subject: last issue's wildlife photo    Link

Bart, I’m pretty sure that’s a baby alpaca. 
 Suzanne B

  Send e-mail to Bart

This is why we're going to win again in 2016.
America voters hate these heartless sons of bitches.

Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo 


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity    Link

Bart, that’s the still quite luscious Sophia Loren.
  Rick P

  Send e-mail to Bart

Going to Alaska

Mrs Bart has always wanted to go to Alaska and Hawaii.
Thanks to Scott H (Don HO) we got to Hawaii in 2005 and we thought we'd
better go to Alaska before I have to drag an oxygen tank behind my wheelchair.

We bought tickets last year but we kept running into reasons why we couldn't go so
we're trying once again to go - and we're Alaska newbies. Astrocat says March is the

best month for aurora viewing and the weather isn't always freezing - hopefully.

I heard Alaska had something called Matanuska Valley Thuderfuck
but I'm a journalist so I can't say it exists because I've never seen any.

Any Bartcop readers in or near Anchorage?

And some thing new we're trying:
Would you like to sponsor a portion of the trip?
Maybe a tank of gas or a few dollars towards a hotel or a ferry ride or something?
That would get your name in the sure-to-be-fun Alaska Trip Report.

"And the fourth night we stayed at Chena Hot Springs in Fairbanks
  thanks to Greg and Fran and Ducks," type of thing.

Be in Bart's Alaska Trip Report

You could
PayPal something to

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or make a one-time Donatation

or you could send a "love" check to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155

We accept credit cards
Thank you

Today's Mystery City



Subject: last issue's Mystery City    

Bart – The wife and I have been there 9 times. 
This is Paris and the building with the glass roof is the Grand Palais. 
The street is the Champ Elysees. That Ferris wheel gets moved around all over Paris. 
The last time we saw it, it was parked in front of the Eiffel Tower.

Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?   


Subject: last issue's History Mystery    Link 

Bart, that's Groucho Marx and Jack Nicholson - 1972 I think.
It was a fundraiser party or maybe just a party for George McGovern.
John C


 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Thanks to Marcia P in Fairhaven, MA for the Alaska donation.
Lok for your name in the Trip Report, Marcia.

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.  
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" is my best bet to staying on the InnerNets.
if you shop with them, you might even save some money.

Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online.

It never hurts to check prices.

Kentucky Senator?  Ashley Judd

 In 1998, the Kentucky basketball team sent Ashley Judd a basketball jersey and asked her
 if she'd pose for a picture while wearing it.  They had no idea they'd get back such a hot photo.

Check out  over 5 sexy and tasteful photos of  Ashley Judd

More hot babes in
BC Hotties

Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties...

Send Your Hottie Suggestion to Bart

Shopping online?

 Use this Amazon portal
and they'll send
a few pennies from each dollar.

Use this link to Order


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