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 Talk magazine folded Friday

   Full Story

   Excerpt:
 The long-embattled, star-studded glossy, which suffered losses approaching $55 million,
 fell victim to a slumping economy and an identity crisis that dogged the magazine from its
1999 launch to the February 2002 issue, which will be its last.
 

 Tina Brown and her backers spent $55 million trying to get Talk to make a profit.
 They had the resources of Miramax Films and Hearst Magazines, endless publicity,
 exclusive interviews with can't-get people like Hillary Clinton, and on and on.

 ...and they lost $55 million.

 If I had one percent of that $55 million, (call it half a million) I could guarantee
 somebody would make a profit by syndicating  bartcop.com

 We will reach issue # 700 by the weekend.
 I'm not saying all 700 issues have been big-time winners, but maybe, just maybe
 one-in-seven has been pretty good. That's 100 issues, written by one uneducated
 Catholic with ADD and an IQ of 64.    Think what Team BartCop could produce.

 Of course, I haven't done it all by myself, there are dozens of writers who contribute and
 dozens of cartoonists/graphics people have sent in more stories and toons than I can read.

    Sidebar:
Which makes me wonder how much better  bartcop.com  would be if I had a small staff.
 That's the big crime here - the unrealized potential. I have shoe boxes full of 3x5 cards
 with partially written rants that there just wasn't enough time to develop. I have boxes
 of newspapers with quotes and stories circled that were begging to be written,
 but how many hours are there in one day?  If I only had a staff.

 Bandwidth (or traffic) is another problem.
 To keep costs down, I can only run small graphics.
 Sometimes the best toon is too big so it never gets published.
 If I had one percent of Tina Brown's budget bartcop.com  could be a contender.

 Gens has been handling the BartCop Reader and the Forum/Chat rooms, David Friedrichs is doing
 Project 60, Marty on Entertainment and Michele on BartCook and JQ at MediaWhoresOnline
 Don is just now launching BartCop Sports and Christian Livemore has been an enormous help with everything,

 So I can't help but think if I had one percent of Talk's money, one percent of the backing,
 one percent of the publicity, and a tech assistant and a detail guy/gal plus just helpers in general,
 I could build bartcop.com  into a profit-making center for somebody.

 Question: - Did Talk magazine produce 100 issues?   I don't think so.
 As always, the story I quoted from was unclear, but if they started as a monthly
 in 1999 and are folding now, that means they produced what, 27 issues?

 That's two million dollars per issue.
 Two million per issue...  Can you believe that?
 If I had a tiny fraction of two million dollars, I could put bartcop.com on the map.

 The story says Tina blames September 11th for the demise (along with Bush's economy)
 but hits at  bartcop.com  have are UP since September 11th.

 Granted, we're not advertiser supported, but that gives us the freedom to tell the truth.
 If there was some left-leaning millionaire out there who enjoys reading the truth, and would like
 to make a hueueuege profit by backing the truth, contact Christian at publicist@bartcop.com

 I think humor is a most effective tool in politics.

 Remember the 1984 debate between Reagan and Mondale?
 Mondale brought up Reagan's age as a legitimate campaign issue, because everyone knew
 Reagan was napping thru the first term of his presidency and Mondale called him on it.

 And what did Reagan say?
 Something like,

 "I refuse to let my opponents youth and inexperience become an issue in this campaign."

 It was a great line and everybody laughed, Mondale included.
 But instead of attacking Reagan's comedy, Mondale backed off and Reagan won, what, ...75 states?

 But the point is humor enabled Reagan to diffuse a very serious issue about his inability to do his job.
 Because Reagan had a good joke ready, nobody ever questioned his lack of qualifications again.

 So, I think we need a humorist in the mix.
 I think if  bartcop.com  had some financial backing we could really take off.
 To where, I'm not sure, but I think we'd have a lot of fun and I think there's money to be made.

 If we can do what we've done with nothing but reader donations, think what could happen
 if we had a budget and could actually develop the comedy.

 And Koresh forbid somebody sticks a microphone in front of me to see what might happen.
 I admit, I've never done radio, but if I had a partner who knew how to twist the knobs, I'd be the guy
 with potentially interesting opinions on everything, and, unlike Rush Limbaugh and the other phonies
 who fabricate horseshit ONLY so they can add to the hundred million in they already have in the bank,
 I'm always ready to have a conversation with somebody from the other side.

 Last thing I'd want on  BartCop Radio would be an endless stream of ditto-callers telling me
 how great, how fantastic, how smart, how handsome and above all how modest I was.
"Please have children so your genius can be passed on to another generation!"
 I actually heard some caller say that one day on the vulgar Pigboy's show.

 And as long as I'm on this bragging binge, it's my opinion that my stuff has been borrowed by a lot of people.
 During impeachment Greg Craig borrowed from me, and I didn't mind at all.I said something like,
 "This impeachment has all the credibility of Sheriff Cliff Barnes arresting J.R. Ewing for murder
    without a body and without a murder weapon."

 seeVolume #134 - To Be a Rock and Not to Roll

 My recollection is that a week later, Craig said, "This impeachment has all the credibility
 of a murder investigation without a body or a murder weapon."

 see Volume #138 - Taliban Rapes Monica for the Greg Craig recollection.

 Am I certain he stole that from  bartcop.com?
 Hell no, but since I said it first, I semi-sorta have a right to claim he did.

 Did the funniest man in America, Chris Rock, borrow from bartcop.com?
 I wrote that the GOP was using "Niggatrol" patches to combat their racist.
 Months later, Chris Rock used that and held up a picture of a bottle of Niggatrol.-

 Somewhere in the back issues theres a picture of Chris holding that bottle.

 It's also my opinion that Saturday Night Live borrows heavily from  bartcop.com.
 Examples are in the back pages, and there was a run where they borrowed pretty closely
 three weeks in a row, so at some point the coincidence becomes less than convincing.

 Bottom line?

 If Tina Brown and Talk magazine were worth a $55 million investment,
 wouldn't you think  bartcop.com  might be worth one percent of that?

 Even if you dump 84 percent of the lame bits, we still have 100 scripts pre-written.
 I could do a hundred shows without ever picking up a newspaper.

 If I had a staff, and some income, and if I didn't have a day job to interrupt me
 every time I got off on a good rant, and if I had the freedom to record ideas as they hit,
 instead of trying to remember a funny bit that occured to me in the car or on a plane,
 I could triple the output that we have right now, and I think we'd be a winner.

 Geez, with the right deal, I could get a spell checker and a fact checker.
 How smart would I seem with a spell checker and a fact checker?

 So this is for the left-leaning multi-millionaire investor who's going to get
 a great big tax cut from the Weak and Stupid unelected fraud.

 Think about it.
 Consider it.
 Fly me to Vegas and let's kick around a few ideas over some fine tequila.

 I'll damn sure be cheaper than $55 million, and we already have 100 scripts.

 I'll give you four times the issues that Tina produced for one percent of  $55 million.

 That's how we Democrats do business.
 
 
 

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