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 February 16, 2001
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Reminder - The treehouse will be dark Saturday because I'm going to...  can't tell you.

VCR Alert - Tonight, Crockett and Tubbs together again, CBS, 10PM EST


Subject: The Lincoln Bedroom Disaster

You forgot about this story, didn't you?

July 12, 1997 (Rueters)  The White announced today that 26 people were
rescued and 9 still missing after a tragic accident in the Lincoln bedroom.

A gathering of Clinton campaign donors, along with 5 hookers and an eight ball
of coke were partying in the White House when a wall collapsed on a group of
Japanese schoolgirls who were meeting in private with President Clinton.

One donor, Mr. Earl Scheib, an Arkansas real estate mogul, gave this account....
" The White House butler asked me if I'd like to pop the cork on a $300 bottle
of champagne. Naturally I jumped at the chance. Unfortunately, It flew across
the room and hit Star Jones in the back of the head while she was chatting with
Lucianno Pavoratti. The force of the blow pushed her into the rotund tenor and
the two of them fell against the wall, collapsing it into the other room."

Sources say the force of the impact with the wall was registered at a 7.5 on the
Richter scale. Ms. Jones was assisted back to the buffet table while rescue crews
freed those trapped in the rubble.


Don't remind them.

 Does anybody know a loser named Wes Minter?

 He's taken the after-Pigboy slot on K-Drag Nazi radio.
 He replaced that ultra-right, religio-crazy Michael Del Giorno,
 who was a former lootenant of Pat Robertson.
 Minter said he's from Atlanta, so maybe Betty Bowers knows him.

 He's on now, praising Smirk for "cleaning up Clinton's mess in Iraq."
 In Oklahoma, you get a RAISE for saying something that stupid.

U.S. Planes Attack Iraq Radar Sites think anyone told Smirk?

Saw it while surfing...

Puffy stands trial and Eminem is busted for having a concealed weapon.
It appears that the only way to be a part of the rap music scene is to break the law.

Y'know, it's possible to carry a gun and not use it.

If Tupac and Biggie had guns on the day they were each shot,
they might simply be in jail now instead of being buried.

Chinese Espionage Was a Reagan-Bush Scandal
    By Robert Parry  with New Information

 Click  Here

Flashback - from BartCop Volume 5


The number of times Reagan claimed "I don't remember" when
testifying under oath about his arms sales to the Ayatollah.

The last year a GOP administration won the election
that didn't issue or accept a Presidential pardon.

The number of Americans President Bush put in harm's way
to cover his foreign policy blunders.

The number of Republicans it takes to screw in a light bulb.

The number of cabinet officials that were prepared to testify
about the Reagan/Bush crimes, forcing the pardons.

The numbers of days Butch was missing in October, 1980
when accused of meeting Iranian terrorists in Paris.


Subject: Geraldo Last Night

Hey Bart,

I hope you caught Rivera Live last night.
For the first 35 minutes he absolutely kicked John Fund's ass from here to Tuskeegee.
I mean I've never seen Geraldo so animated and so on the attack defending Bill Clinton.
He was sitting across from Fund and demanded, DEMANDED an official apology by the
Wall Street Journal for the smearing smarmy editorials and articles they ran about the Vandalism,
the theft from AF One, for Whitewater, for Filegate, and on and on.

It seems that Rivera spent about 20 minutes on the phone with Citizen Bill today and was saddened,
shocked and outraged at how beaten down and bewildered Bill was by the latest bullshit attacks.

Finally, someone with the fucking cojones to finally blast the shit out of not only Fund and the Journal,
but the New York Times and Washington Post. Conason would have been very proud.

I wish I had a tape or transcript, but I'm too cheap to pay the 19.95 that
Burrell's charges. Though this one might be worth it.

Keep up the great work. I'd love to see you on Fox Network!
I may be getting another radio gig in Phoenix on the biggest talk station there.
I'll know next week. keep your fingers crossed.

Of course, you'll be my first guest.

I'm there, Dude.


-For bold and hard hitting political commentary visit

Bob, might be in Vegas in May.
We'll do some Chinaco.

Senate Committee Questions Clinton's Pardon of Deutch
  Washington Whore Post Staff Writer

Full Stupid Story

The Senate Select Committee on Intelligence yesterday launched an inquiry into former President Clinton's
pardon of former CIA director John M. Deutch, sending a letter to CIA Director George J. Tenet to determine
whether he or anyone else in the U.S. intelligence community was consulted beforehand.

A senior intelligence official responded last night that neither Tenet nor anyone else at the CIA had any
knowledge of the pardon in advance. The official also disclosed that Deutch's CIA security clearances
-- suspended by Tenet in August 1999 as punishment for Deutch's home computer security violations
-- have been revoked within the past week.

Clinton pardoned Deutch on Jan. 20 for mishandling hundreds of highly classified intelligence documents
on unsecure home computers linked to the Internet, making them vulnerable to cyber-attack.

The pardon caught Justice Department officials by surprise. It came less than a day after they had secured
Deutch's signature on a plea agreement -- nullified by the pardon -- in which he admitted to a misdemeanor
for unauthorized retention of classified material and agreed to pay a $5,000 fine.

Oh, yeah, Deutch must've REALLY harmed America if there was a $5,000 fine.
Let's spend five years and $50,000,000 chasing this non-story.

 They found a host - a damn good one.

Jon Stewart to host Grammy Awards Wednesday

With Dennis Miller having turned disgusting Smirk apologist,
Jon Stewart has replaced him as the funniest white man in America.

Leave Presidential Pardon Power Alone
 by Bill Press

Click  Here

The power to pardon is the one absolute power granted in the Constitution.
It is given only to the president. And many presidents have used it to grant
what were considered, at the time, controversial pardons. Washington pardoned
leaders of the Whiskey Rebellion. Jefferson pardoned persons branded as traitors
under the Alien and Sedition Act. Lincoln pardoned Confederate sympathizers;
and Truman, draft dodgers in World War II.
In our own day, Ford pardoned Nixon and Bush pardoned Weinberger.
Clinton was not the first to raise eyebrows with his use of the pardon power.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not defending the Rich pardon.

Of course you're not.
Why should you defend a Democratic president, Bill?
Why the hell should you spent any time or effort to slow the mob
walking towards Clinton's office to hang him?

After all, you're,'re, ...wait - you're a Democrat?
Maybe that's why you should defend your Democratic president.

I don't know anyone not on Rich's payroll who does. Rich did not merit a pardon.
For whatever reason he did it, Clinton was just dead wrong.

How in the world do people say that?
How can ANYBODY out themselves in Clinton's shows?
IF Barak and the CIA and the NSC got together and told Clinton it was
necessary to pardon Marc Rich (I don't know that they did, but we have hints)
why are the Democrats not willing to give their own president the benefit of the doubt?

Look at the other side:
They got behind a cocaine monkey, wartime deserter with AT LEAST three arrests
who's a total idiot who can't answer the simplest questions about anything.
No matter what - they stick with their man.

What does our side do?
- we stand around
- we do nothing when the bully strikes
- we do nothing when Smirk nominates a racist monster
- we believe the White House trashing stories
- we believe the Air Force One trashing stories
- we refuse to give Clinton the benefit of the doubt after he have us eight years
  of peace and prosperity and took eight years of shit for doing it.

  Christ, if nothing else, he taught us how to win again, but we forget what he taught us
  and we go back to being losers who stab their greatest heroes in the back.

Swear to Koresh, if it wasn't for the "We hate blacks, gays and women" plank of the GOP platform,
I'd join the Republicans just to get out of this party of weepy, sickly turncoat losers.


Subject: Bush and Submarine Disaster

On the 2/15/2001 ABC Nightly News, Jennings reported that approximately
one-third of the civilians on the submarine were TX oilmen.

So we want the facts: were they campaign contributors receiving their
_quid pro quos_ from the illegitimate Bush?

And how many are CEOs at Enron?

Joseph Nagarya
Boston, MA

Great Political Quotes

"The Marc Rich pardon has been one of the greatest successes
of the conservative propaganda machine. Perhaps Jesus Christ
flew out of George Bush’s heart [where we know he now lives]
and personally helped them along. I mean, Bob Barr (R- LUNATIC)
is all over the media presented as a regular well meaning guy
looking only for the truth.  JESUS CHRIST!"

Rack Jite


Subject: Recount

I'm an avid democrat and fan of bartcop -- I would really like to know what's holding up
the results of the media post-election unofficial recount of Florida's 67 counties.

No one has claimed to know when the results will be out, but many have guessed and been wrong.
When do you think the bomb will be dropped?

Jerry Rogers
Wichita, KS

It's taking forever.
Last I heard they'd counted two cities and Gore picked up 600 votes.
Maybe we'll know before 2004.

 How low can the Clinton haters go?

"I hate Chelsea Clinton."
  by John Derbyshire, the caveman who says  "All left-wing women are double-baggers."

 Read the entire hate article, from National Review

 Punch  Here

  At this point I had better make a confession. It's a bad one, I know it.
  It is low, contemptible and — yes! — mean-spirited.
  It may very well place me beyond the pale of civilized society.
  I don't care. Truth will out, I will be heard.
  Brace yourself:
  I hate Chelsea Clinton.

  ...and I thought Christopher Hitchens was a prick.


Subject: FOUR Arrests???

Hey, Copper!

Saw a thing on your site, today, about dubya's four arrests.
But I couldn't find the back-up.
Will you please tell me where I can find that?


He's the ROTUS not the POTUS...

He has admitted THREE arrests, and when the reporter said,
"So you've only been arrested 3 times?" Karen Hughes said,
"This interview is OVER!"

That's a yes, I guarantee it.
Christ, for all we know he's been arrested TEN times,
 ...but the whore press refuses to ask the goddamn question!

Just think of the shit Clinton would catch if he refused to answer that question.

Every whore news organization in the world would stop whatever they were working on
and fly detectives to Arkansas and comb thru every arrest report by fucking hand if they had to
to get the scoop on that, but Smirk the Wonder Dog gets another pass?

Will he never be held accountable for anything?

If only I had a bigger hammer, I'd force the question and then we'd know.

Hi, I'm Tina the PayPal girl assigned to help Bart.
Wouldn't you like to see a bigger hammer in Bart's hands?

Click above to make a donation to the BartCop Hammer Defense Fund.
If you can't, that's OK, we'll still beat back Smirk's fascists in the long run,
but we'll get there faster if the hammer is bigger.

 Great Political Quotes

  Bush has shown how easy it is to hornswoggle liberals.
  All you have to do is go around calling yourself nice.
  He just treats liberals like small children having nightmares.
  Darn if it didn't work.
   -- Ann Coulter

 I'll be damned.
 I've never agreed with Ann Coulter before, but she's right.
 The Democrats just roll over and offer their ass to Smirk.

 The next time some know-nothing moron starts quacking about the Marc Rich pardon, show him this column.
 It's written by Jack Quinn, the man who personally asked Bill Clinton to grant the pardon.

A Pardon Deserved
 by Jack Quinn

 Click  Here

Subject: Joe Conason defends his column

Joe Conason responds to criticism of:
"How the Middle East impasse and the Jonathan Pollard case
  influenced Clinton's decision to pardon Marc Rich."

I didn't write the original headline over my column and asked that it be changed to reflect
what the column actually said: not that Clinton traded a pardon for peace, but that his
intense negotiations with the Israelis probably affected his decision about Marc Rich.

I certainly understand why people are dismayed and angered by the Rich pardon.
Both on Salon and in my columns for the New York Observer, I've expressed my own strong
criticism of Clinton's decision. Yet some who have accused me of "defending" the Rich pardon
-- seem not to have noticed that I called it "improper in both substance and appearance" and
"a bad judgment that benefited a very bad man." Nowhere have I tried to "excuse" the pardon
or suggest that it was "somehow ethical" or "salutary."

I do, however, believe that the evidence revealed so far indicates a more complex story than
the simplistic "follow-the-money" narrative favored by Clinton's adversaries on Capitol Hill
and in the media. I am by now accustomed to the abuse that often greets any skepticism
about the conventional wisdom regarding the Clintons.

But I'm not alone in thinking there might be other motives behind this decision that were more significant
than Denise Rich's generosity. As I noted, Joseph diGenova, who prosecuted Jonathan Pollard and is a
longtime Republican adversary of the Clintons, believes that Israeli influence carried far more weight
than the checks written by Rich's ex-wife. Readers who dismiss that view ought to read the e-mails,
notes and letters obtained by my colleague Jake Tapper. Among other things, those documents prove
that the pardon effort began long after Denise Rich's contributions to the Clinton library and the Democratic
Party. Until late last fall, in fact, Rich and his lawyers were trying to cut a deal with the Justice Department.

Moreover, there is simply no evidence to date that Denise Rich tried to influence Clinton to help her husband
in any way when she gave money to the library and other Clinton-related or Democratic causes. Later, she did
try to persuade Clinton to grant the pardon. But her pleas were clearly considered insufficient by Rich's lawyers
and associates -- otherwise, why did they expend so much energy organizing influence from Israel?

That question leads to another: Was Clinton justified in heeding the entreaties of Ehud Barak, Shimon Peres,
and the former head of the Mossad, among many others, if that is indeed what he did? The Constitution affords
him absolute discretion to do so in his exercise of the pardon power -- as it did George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford
and all of his predecessors who also issued controversial pardons. That unique discretion was written into the
Constitution by the founders precisely because of such "reasons of state."

I still think Clinton was wrong because Rich's money and connections should not exempt him from facing
justice the same way that ordinary people must, regardless of any foreign policy or geopolitical considerations.
But I also think we ought to examine context, complexity and all of the facts before making our own rush
to judgment about this case.

 Mail Bag and Toon Bag

 Click  Here

Jeb Bush caught with Hooker?


Subject: Jeb and babe on FBI tape....

Since the FBI had surreptitiously set up multiple surveillance cameras during the Super Bowl,
there had been a substantial number of matches, including many people wanted for questioning,
regarding allegations of espionage, terrorist activities, as well as a large assortment of escaped felons,
parole and probation violators, etc.

Some high-level prominent politicians were also caught on camera, including Jeb Bush with an unknown
attractive woman -- not his wife. In this latest scandal, the FBI has a problem because they're afraid
that one of the women has threatened to file a lawsuit to obtain copies of the tape. The girlfriend is
evidently asking for some hush money, after becoming aware thatshe and Jeb were photographed
by the FBI. As youcan imagine, the FBI is in a quandary.

 Shame on my alma mater
  by Mitch Albom

 Click  Here

 Somebody write to me - real quick!

 Laura the Unloved is broadcast in God's Dust Bowl on a one-day delay.
 (For those of you in Florida, that means we get Tuesday's show Wednesday.)

 She opened Thursday's show (which I heard just now) by saying tomorrow, (meaning today)
 she would have "an important and painfull announcement to make."

 Logic and history tells me her announcement is probably:

 1. Her boring-as-hell TV show has been cancelled.
 2. Her precious bunchkin Derherychke has revealed he is a cannibal.
 3. Her deviant homosexual porno movie is being released.
 4. News about her abortions (was it two or three?) is about to break.

 As I write this, those of you who get Laura the Unloved live already have heard the
"important and painfull announcement."

 You must write to me immediately and confirm which of the four likely predictions is true.

 Great Political Quotes

  I am deeply disappointed that this is being handled as an investigative
  and not a legislative, fact-finding matter. I am further disappointed that
  this committee views its role as adversarial, requiring us to take an oath
  as if we had something to hide.
  -- Roger Ailes, Pigboy TV's producer, now head of Fox Whore News,
      testifying before congress as to why he let Smirk's cousin call our election.

 Hey, asswipe, the reason you don't want to be under oath is because have to be more careful
 with the lies you're telling. When I testify before Congress,  (please God, make that happen)
 I'll be happy to be under oath because I don't plan on telling them anything BUT the damn truth.

 Hey, Roger, I have an idea.

 You testify, we'll decide.

 Texas Oilmen at the Controls of Navy Sub?
  Is This Why the Smirk-Boy Administration Didn't Want to Release the Identities of these "Civilian VIPs"?
   by Tamara Baker  from AMPOL

 SAINT PAUL, (APJP) -- Some interesting tidbits came over the e-transom today:

 Seems that two of the "VIP civilians" involved in the USS Greeneville's smacking into a
 Japanese fishing boat have stepped forward.

 One of them is Todd Thoman. The other is John Hall. Thoman and Hall
 ( were on NBC's Today show this morning.

 Now here's the interesting part:

 A "Todd Thoman" was employed by the Fossil Bay oil company in their just-closed Houston office
(Fossil Bay is headquartered in Dallas). And a John Hall is named on Fossil Bay's web site as being
 on their board of directors:

 - - -
 John M. Hall - Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. Mr. Hall has
 been an independent investor in the oil and gas industry for many
 years. From 1993-1994, he was Chief Executive Officer of Merit Energy,
 where he was instrumental in facilitating a large transaction wherein
 Merit's offshore California assets, and those of several major oil
 companies, were sold to Nuevo Energy.

 - - -

 In other words, to quote my e-correspondent, it looks very much as if the combined stupidity of
joyriding Texas oilmen and GOP-worshiping Navy brass killed nine Japanese fisherfolk and schoolkids.

 And we weren't told this for nearly a week after the fact.
 No wonder the Japanese want our heads over this.

 And does anyone doubt that, if the "VIP civilians" had been Democrats,
 that the US broadcast media would have already told us their names,
 jobs and arrest records within hours after the incident occurred?

 Do we have to invite the negroes?

 Click  Here

 Bad Boy!

 Another real-life demonstration of GOP values
 by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo  from AMPOL

 Thursday, Feb. 15, 2001 -- Chicago (APJP) -- Ever since Usurper Boy and his gang of thugs took control
 of our nation's executive branch, The Doc knows the time he took to bookmark a number of British news
 sites on his web browser was not wasted.

 You see, while the American press succumbed to a relapse of "get Clinton no matter how ridiculous the
 assertion" fever on the day His Illegitimacy was "swored in" with his family of Kenne-Drunk-Port
 WASPbillies looking on, about the only place to get the scoop on everything else of import
 (no pun intended) is the UK.

 Case in point number one: the BBC.

 BBC2's Newsnight is scheduled, according to one reader, to broadcast a segment this evening in a
 continuing series by investigative correspondent Gregory Palast.  The series, "Theft of a Presidency,"
 is focusing on corruption in Florida during the last presidential election.  Palast is focusing on "Database
 Technologies, Katherine Harris, Jeb Bush and the computer program that stole the US elections" by
 disenfranchising black voters and cheating President-Elect Al Gore out of over 20,000 votes.

 At one point during the segment, according to an astute reader, Clay Roberts is seen fleeing Palast's
 camera crew as he was shouting, "If y'all wanna hang this on me, that's fine!"

 Why, we'd be more than glad to oblige, Clay -- because YOU helped Katherine Harris's vote count more
 than that of fifty MILLION Americans!  You just don't get it, do you!

 The segment is scheduled to be up on the BBC's web site this evening
 -- you can find the BBC web site at

 Case in point number two: The Guardian, arguably the best newspaper in London with one of the best news
 web sites on the planet. This morning, while the American press is obsessing on the doomed-to-failure,
 politically motivated new "criminal" witch hunt by U.S.Attorney Mary Jo "Rudy Wanna-be" White into
 possible "felonies" involving the pardon of Marc Rich (the REAL crime being that Rich was the target of an
 abusive and illegal prosecution by a guy named Giuliani -- but I digress), The Guardian ran an AP article that
 could NOT be found in the New York Times or Los Angeles Times AP "breaking news" lists.

 It seems that one Scott Stewart, chairman of the College Republican National Committee (CRNC), stands
 accused of being a bad boy. Reportedly, Stewart "made unwanted advances and regularly spoke in sexually
 graphic terms to and about female employees" -- and three women have filed legal affidavits to that effect.

 Now, The Doc was already laughing out loud at yet another demonstration of Republican moral "erectitude,"
 but -- you guessed it -- there's more to the story.

 The three women, Kathleen Kirst, Jennifer Gorski and Youmna Salameh, also allege that Stewart used several
 thousand dollars of party cash to party, "paying for his own and others' personal expenses, such as cellular
 telephone bills, plane tickets and campaign mailings."

 The RNC, which finances the CRNC, received copies of the affidavits in January. Meanwhile, Stewart is
 running for another two-year term as CNRC boss.

 Given the allegations of abusive horndogging and financial impropriety, The Doc feels that Stewart should
 abandon his run for the CNRC and instead run for a high-profile state or federal legislative seat, where he'll
 f eel right at home with his fellow GOP "moralists."

 'Nuff said!

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 Dave "Doctor" Gonzo left a lucrative career as a disgruntled executive in the music industry to
 become a disgruntled political writer. His multifaceted career includes stints as a video and record producer,
 congressional lobbyist, lecturer at the Smithsonian Institution and developer of data analysis software.
 He lives in a heavily fortified satellite-TV and high-speed-Internet-equipped apartment compound with
 his wife in Manhattan.

 Read the  Previous Issue
 It had everything - dating tips, a mystery that's not, a naughty Jennifer and a great trip report.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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