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March 13, 2001

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "The only way to stop a bully is to beat the xxxx out of him.
   Most bullies have a bully parent, ...usually the mother."
    -- Herr Goatsucker, third hour

 But Rush, when your mother died, you said you loved her.
 Now we find ouit she bullied you all your life?
 We assumed it was your father who made you wear those dresses
 But it was your mother?
 Why let that out of the bag, Rush?

 Marta, can't you get him to take his medicine?

 VCR Alert - There's a Janet Jackson "salute" of some kind on tonight. As always, they have screwed it up and
 done everything wrong. Janet will sing one song (in a tasty little white nothing-there outfit) and for the other 85 minutes
 we're expected to suffer thru N'Sink, Bill Bellamy, Taye Diggs, Jamie Foxx, Shaquille O'Neal and Michael Jackson
 sends a video "wassup" to his sister. If this was 90 minutes of Janet Jackson, I'd watch, but noooooooooooo.
 This is the Sony conglomerate pushing every act they have on us in pretense of paying tribute to the nasty Ms. Jackson.
 Remember when Roger Waters performed "The Wall" in Berlin when it fell? I fell for it, because "The Wall" is one of
 the greatest rock albums ever, and I wanted to see a killer live version of it - but what did we get?
 Cindy Lauper, Van Morrison, Rick Danko and Sinead O'Connor, (who did not tear up a photo of the Pope) and
 every loser act that Polygram couldn't keep off the stage.  I expect similar treatment tonight.


 On the way to his first visit to Florida since taking office, Bush said continuing
 analysis of the state's ballots isn't recounting.
 "That's all re-voting," he said in an interview with USA TODAY.

 His tone was scornful as he added,
 "I don't know how many times I have to win the recount."

 Hey, Dickhead, I have a thunderbolt for you:
 You haven't won shit.

 You were appointed to that job by your Daddy's friends on the Whore Court.

 ...ignorant son of a bitch.

 ...and don't think I'm having a stroke when we re-visit this story:

 In Florida, a DOZEN or so protestors carried signs saying
 "Gore Won" and "Bush stole the election."

 Today's earlier story (see below) was from the AP.
 This story is from USA TODAY.

 You'll think I'm being picky, but there's more than 300 percent difference between
  two people held a banner + while a third carried a sign (that's THREE people) and
 a DOZEN or so protestors carried signs.

 Obviously, at least one of them is lying.
 They saw the same two signs, so they can't claim they saw different groups of protestors.

 The nameless "AP" claims three protestors, but Judy Keen of USA TODAY is on record
 saying there were "a DOZEN or so," which is techinically more than a dozen.

 Am I splitting hairs?  Maybe.
 But why should the AP play down the protestors?
 Why should Judy Keen claim there were 12+ is there were only three?

 Answer: They are bought-and-paid-for whores.

 You can't trust the press.

 Ugly Alert

 I know what you're thinking: With BartCop, everything is sex.
 - You have the Party of Lincoln on the non-stop Hunt for Clinton's Cock.
 - You have Hardon Kenny staining his copy of the Impeachment Referral with his semen.
 - You have "backdoor" Bettina Gregory getting wet while giving impeachment updates.
 - You have the House Managers so caught up in the rape of the Constitution that
    they can't stop until they have their ugly ejaculation.

 It gets worse - it gets so much worse.

 I have one more for you, and it's not going to be pretty.
 Subject:  The mean-spirited whores of the GOP using JFK's voice to push for tax cuts.

 A. They want big tax cuts, we think it's unwise.
 B. They have their point of view, we have ours.
 C. They want to win, we want to win.
 D. They think they're right, we think we're right.
 E. Everyone lies, everyone exaggerates, it's called politics.

 ...but using the voice of a martyred Democratic hero, over the stern objections of the family
  is just more proof that the sons of bitches have no heart.

 You want to know the ugly truth?
 The Republicans, led by Pigboy and Hannity get erections when they drag JFK's memory thru the mud.
 Truth be told, that tax cut doesn't matter to them.

 Repeat: That tax cut doesn't matter to them.
 They would gladly give up that tax cut, as long as they get to rub JFK's face in the dogshit of
 "lower taxes to help every household and every business."

 Tearing down the Democrats, and what they stand for, means more to them than tax cuts.
 Their minds are so sick, they don't even want to win.
 Their only goal is to be sure we lose.

 Can I prove that?
 I submit the proof has been around for years.

 If I'm wrong, explain the logic behind Gingrich, Barr, Burton, Livingston, Hyde and the rest
 going after Clinton in some goddamn Dirty Laundry Contest.
 Go ahead - I'd like to hear your explanation.

 They didn't care if they lost their power, their families and their reputations.
 All that mattered was "destroy Clinton."

 Like Christopher's induction ceremony into the Mafia, when you join the GOP, you have to swear
 that "getting the Democrats" means more to you than your wives, your children and your parents.

 Can anybody deny the facts before your eyes?
 If that's not the case, what the fuck were Gingrich, Barr, Burton, Livingston, Hyde and the rest thinking?
 They KNEW they were likely to be exposed if they started down that path of destruction,
 but it didn't matter because there was a chance they could stick a shiv into Clinton.
 They didn't even take a calculated risk, they just went for it, like a dog in heat.

 No, it's not Ol' BartCop who has sex on the brain.
 I'm just calling it the way it is.

 And what do we have to fight back with?
 1. The fake Democrats, who'd rather switch than fight.

 2. The whore media refuses to print the real stories that affect real Americans.

 3. Thank Koresh for websites like:

 I know there's a lot of great sites that I'm leaving out, (I feel like Sally Field) but just remember:

The whore press cannot be trusted.

 The next time they tell us the Clintons stole this or vandalized that,
 just remember the lazy, lying sons of bitches are trying to score some easy money
 and they don't mind fabricating a story because it beats working.

 Joe DiMaggio was right - Fuck the Press


Subject: Marination and grilling


    Never let it be said that you shouldn't grill something after marinating.
In fact, the two go together like Mom and apple pie as far as I'm concerned.
As a matter of fact, I'm working on a recipe right now that involves grilled chicken
(leave the damned bones in there, boneless has no flavor!) marinated in a tequila-vinagrette.
I figure if the recipe comes out right, it might provide a use for all of that Jose
Cuervo crap that up until now is best used as a degreaser for your stove.
    But seriously, any method of cooking is going to impart a particular flavor to a food
regardless of what it is. Just because something is marinated doesn't mean that grilling
will take away that flavor. What grilling does is impart a kind of smoky flavor that can
mask some more subtle flavors (things like quality oils, marjoram, parsley, etc.) while
accentuating others (things like peppers, vinegars, molasses [a must-have for a good
barbecue sauce] and seasonings like oregano or cumin).
    Like anything else, some thought should be given as to how the ingredient flavors in a
recipe will develop as they are exposed to the desired cooking process. However, one
should also bear in mind that in cooking, there aren't any hard and fast rules that one has
to abide by when developing a recipe. If it tastes good to you, do it.

Johnny Crash,
Sous chef and liberal-in-chief
Vecchia Roma Ristorante


Subject: The Train Station Pub & Grill


Loved the menu at the Train Station.
In order to judge the quality of the joint I have one very important question.
Were the onion rings frozen?

Ha, ha.


Bernie, I cannot tell a lie.
Well, I can, and have, but I'm being honest now.
...they were frozen.
I don't know Dole about fresh onion rings, but let me tell you this:

Our fried chicken was better than anything you can buy in any restaurant in K-Drag.
It was fresh chicken breast, cut into strips, hand-rolled in flour and buttermilk.
We also had the first Bacon Bit Nachos I ever saw on a menu.
Our burgers were dipped in Maggi Sauce, and flame broiled to perfection.

The au jus for the French Dip was finer than frog hair.
Even the mozzarella sticks were the best I'd ever tried.
Oh, and our #5 sandwich, The Missouri Pacific was to murder for.
If it wasn't the best, it wasn't on the menu ('cept for the O-rings)

But it wasn't all perfect:
Sadly, Jose Cuervo was our finest tequila.

Ignorance can be sooo sad.


 USA TODAY reports Bill O'Reilly of the Lying O'Reilly Factor will sign a new contract
 in the $4,000,000-a-year range for telling lies about Bill Clinton and prominent black leaders.

 Yet Mary Moretti accuses me of spending eight hours a day on this website "for the money."

 Mary, if I was in this for the big bucks, I'd be a highly-paid ditto-monkey whore.
 You see, the truth doesn't sell as much as the dirty, scummy lies - and I accept that.
 Why do you think Laura and Pigboy make the multi-millions?

 Oh, I forgot, after Volume 424 you said you'd never read  again
 and you were going to tell your friends to never read again, either.

 I guess I should've been more of what you wanted me to be, instead of what I am.

Collective unconscious
A stunning absence of outrage as Bush names Iran-Contra figures to two key diplomatic posts

Click  Here

What was Bush the elder so concerned about? Perhaps it was the fact that Weinberger’s diaries
implicated him in the Iran-contra cover-up and demonstrated that without a doubt, he had lied
about his level of knowledge of the entire operation.

(These pardons were politically far more significant than any of the foolish pardons issued by
Bill Clinton in the final moments of his term, despite hysterical press coverage indicating otherwise.)
No doubt the younger Bush wants to behave as if his father did nothing wrong in participating
in Iran-Contra and then lying about his having been “out of the loop” afterwards.

 The Liberal Media?
 (Quotes from

 These whores are called "liberals" by the Washington Smirk press.
 Rush calls these people "Clinton's shill media"

 AL HUNT: The former first lady hasn't been any more discreet than her husband.
     Her record $8 million book advance and shakedown of friends for gifts
     before she became senator was ethically dubious and politically dumb...

Gee, Al, thanks for being a friend when they were kicking your president.

MARGARET CARLSON: What's most revealing here is not the gifts themselves—although it is
     hard to picture one adult giving another a sofa—but how horrified people were at the very suggestion
     that Hillary would lean on supporters to furnish her house.  The Clintons have long dismissed the
     criticism of those in the vast right-wing conspiracy whom they don't respect. But how do you dismiss
     the views of those you do respect—who insist you would never sink so low, until they are silenced
     by proof of your grasping?

Gee, Margaret, thanks for loading the guns for Hannity, Pigboy and O'Reilly..
Was Margaret this upset when they gave Red-Ink Reagan his furnished mansion?
Another member of "Clinton's shill media," Rush?

JUAN WILLIAMS: Well, you know, the whole thing now really boils down to corruption in terms of access.
Now, you can get access by being a member of the family, in which case you can just kind of float in and out,
as Hugh Rodham, as Roger Clinton. Or you can ante up in terms of dollars, which is what I think we're seeing
more and more become apparent, in terms of Beth Dozoretz and Denise Rich, that these were people who
were big fundraisers—the number of times that Denise Rich visited, you know, it's repeated by some,
but it's truly stunning that this person is in the White House.
Some people say she may have had a key. It's unbelievable.

Juan, "some people" say you have class, but that doesn't make it true, does it?
"Some people" say you're not an Uncle Tom, giving Smirk all the Monica he wants.

Jesus Christ, if I'm ever in trouble, don't let any of these Judas traitors defend me, OK?

In today's whore America, these whores are considered "the liberal press," and they enjoy
the lying, the back-stabbing, the fabrication of horseshit, and they love fucking their friends.

I have blisters on my fingers, and it seems like nobody even knows we're getting screwed.


 "I give good nag."
   --Laura the Unlaid

Did you see where they signed Doug Flutie to a six year contract?

San Diego gave him $30 million.
I like Flutie allright, but he's 38, for Koresh's sake.


Denis Leary Gets New Cop Show

 I like him a lot as a comedian.
 Haven't seen much of him lately, tho.

NEW YORK (AP) - Denis Leary, the often foul-mouthed comedian,
has a new perspective on working blue: He's got a new cop show.

In ``The Job,'' Leary plays a boozing, cheating, chain-smoking detective
who sometimes catches the bad guys - and sometimes doesn't.
Leary got the idea after watching real New York City detectives at work.

"When I first started going out with these guys, I was more interested in the
official ins and outs,'' the actor told The New York Times on Sunday.

"But what struck me after all the going in and out of the precinct was that these guys
were hilarious: the relationship stuff, the jealousies, the attraction, the protective thing.
We got to see the stuff you don't see cops on TV do.''

"The Job'' premieres Wednesday at 9:30 p.m. EST on ABC.

So my question is:
If we tune in tomorrow to watch his show, will he turn whore on us
and become Smirk's cabanaboy like Dennis Miller did?

 Kennedys Decry GOP Tax Cut Pitch Using JFK Voice

 Click  Here

 The letter from Carolina Kennedy Schlossberg said the GOP ad
 "intellectually dishonest and politically irresponsible."

"I never remember Democrats whining like this during the Kennedy initiatives"
 said Scott Reed (R-Sonofabitch) one of the consultants in the group airing the ad.

 From: Cathy Thal

 Subject: Pardons

 Dear BartCop,
 I hope it does your heart good to know that you're helping the REAL liberals stay sane
 in this upside-down dimension where we have a fake president, a fake supreme court,
 (the lack of capitalization is intentional) and a fake Democratic Party. You always make
 me laugh and that's not easy these days.

Your attacks on the whore media are so on-the-mark. It's a scary country since November
and I'm not talking about the school shootings. Without you and Bob Somerby, I'd have to
move to Canada, where at least they seem to want to help their own people stay healthy.
I almost lost it when Bob Somerby quit for a while ( he's back now,
at least temporarily. I luuuv Bob Somerby. If the Democrats could argue as cogently
as he does, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Enclosed is $25, I'll send more when I can afford it,
probably after I get my BartCop tax rebate check from the government.

ha ha

My question:
In all the whining about the pardons, the Repugs and fake democrats keep bitching about
the Justice Department not having approved said pardons. How often do they approve, I wonder,
and why bother having them review if the odds are heavily against approval?

We can't count on the whore media to ask.
Can you find out?


Cathy, good note.
I like the "fake Democrats" term, I may steal that.
I also like the Daily Howler, but I'm always jealous when he gets quoted by the bigger fish.
Of course, his site is real, and this is, after all, a treehouse, so I understand.

The Pardons:
I will throw the technical question open to the readers, but I can tell you my opinion.
The pardon power of the president is absolute because the Founding Fathers knew
there'd be times when an injustice needed to be righted.

The "outrage" of the Marc Rich pardon was fabricated by the whore media.
Nobody cares.  If Clinton wasn't such media whore dynamite, it would've been ignored.
We know all about the Rich pardon (which is the purpose of the Justice dept review -
to verify the claims made by the pardonee's attorneys) and the whore media pretends
this is so terrible and unconscionable.

But the real truth is this:
When Bush pardoned Weinberger and the gang to protect the memory of Saint Reagan,
and keeping his own ass out of jail, he was covering up crimes we DON'T know about.

What crimes did Reagan commit?
What crimes did Bush commit?

We'll never know because (broken record) it had nothing to do with Clinton's cock.
In today's whore media, the only "crimes" worth investigating and covering are the ones
that involve Bill Clinton and his zipper.

If the crimes involve nine dead Japanese - we don't care.
If the crimes involve missiong billions from the S&L's - it's not a story.
If the crimes involve arming terrorist nations (and theft, perjury, obstruction of justice etc)
it just doesn't matter because Clinton is not involved.

We have NO IDEA what all Reagan and Bush and his CIA buddies successfully covered up,
and the whore press doesn't care because they are paid to ignore the public's interests.

Smirk steals the White House, and the whore press doesn't care.
But when Team Smirk fabricates White HOuse vandalism stories, the press eats it up, without proof
and they make it daily front page news for six fucking weeks.

You're right.
We live in a scary country.


"Some of the Democrats here want to keep revoting the election but if they would
   listen to America they will find Americans want to move forward.''
      -- Our appointed Commander in Thief, at a Florida Fourth Reich rally

 Hey, Smirky.
 You lost the popular vote, remember?
 You lost the electoral vote, too, but Three Fingers don't play that.
 America doesn't like your snot-nosed, smirking ass, boy.

The whore media story continues:
Bush encountered few tokens of the lingering bitterness among some Democrats
over the election's outcome and his motorcade route was lined with flag-waving supporters.

Outside the civic center where Bush spoke, two people held a banner reading
"Bush stole the election'' while a third carried a handmade sign that said simply "Gore won.''

Now, isn't that a load of horseshit?
If there were three people demonstrating against Clinton, the networks would have their
banners on the nightly news, with the slogan, "Has Clinton lost his mandate?"

Whatever shitty things the Freepers had to say about Clinton (who actually won two elections)
would be on ABC News radio every hour, and then that shit O'Reilly would have them on
for an hour, then Hannity and Frank would have them on for an hour, then Paula Von Zahn
would have them for an hour until the Beltway Boys came on, and on and on and on.

...and speaking of the whores at Fox News,

I saw somebody, maybe it was John Hockenberry holding a round table discussion
about Smirk's deficit-exploding tax cuts for the super-rich, two-yatch set.

The topic was not "Is this plan good for America?"
The topic was not "Can we afford this boondoggle now?"
The topic was not "Is it fair to reward the rich - again - and stiff the working middle-class - again?"
The topic was not "This tax cut is such a dog, it peed on my leg."

No, the topic was, "Is it smart politics for congressmen to go against the president?"

...and another thing about those whores at Fox.

I was cataloging some video the other day and ran across that recent mini-interview with Susan McDougal.
The whole time she talked, those shits at Fox had a graphic super-imposed on her chest that read,
"Pardons for Sale," as she spoke.

Fuck you, Fox.

That's NOT giving the facts so we can decide, you lying bastards.
That's a conscious manipulation and distortion of the truth.
That's taking a Hannity or Limbaugh-inspired horseshit and assigning it fact status.

Fox isn't a news organization.
They're just really ugly Bada-Bing girls, and Rupy Murdoch is their Tony Soprano.

...and another thing about those shameless whores at Fox.

There's a new kind of celebri-whore.
Juan Williams does it, Mara Liason does it, Chris Mathhews does it - it goes like this:

When they're on their own shows, they are one hundred percent horseshit.
But when they go on NPR or The Today Show, they clean up and semi tell the truth.
I remember a while back, Matt Lauer smacked Chris the Screamer around on
The Today Show when Chris was screaming how "impartial" his Nazi ass was.

Matt cut him off in mid-lie and called him on that horseshit.
Good for you, Matt.
Juan Williams, Mara Liason and Chris the Screamer want that easy whore money

Oh, you looooooove that money, don't you?

But then, they want to pretend they still have reputations,
which proves they're even lying to themselves.


Subject: The Train Station Pub and Grill

Did you really marinate the chicken breasts?
If so, didn't char broiling defeat the purpose thereof?


I dunno.
I have a degree in food (required at all K-Drag restaurants)
but all they told us was "keep warm stuff warm and cold stuff cold."

...but Emeril Lagasse does it all the time.

 The BartCop Tax Plan

     The Concord Coalition, a Non-Partison Think Tank including Robert Rubin and Warren Rudman,
said today that we should have a modest tax cut now and in 4 or 5 years look at it again.
Their statement was echoed by Sen Edwards (D-Carolina) on Meet the Whore Sunday.
As we know, the modest 300 billion dollar BartCop Tax Plan can be revisited each year.

      After the recent Stock Market collapse the need for Economic Stimulus is clear.
Can anyone tell me what plan would provide a better stmulus at precisely the time it is needed?
This slowdown can be over by Christmas if Democrats will get behind the Bartcop Plan.

What will happen to the Stock Market the day after The BartCop Tax Plan is passed?
Really, think about it.  What would happen?

I know Democrats lost to a moron, but after giving 200 million people $1500, how could they lose again?
And remember, if your spouse or kids work they get an extra $1500, too.

In the interest of full disclosure,  I declare that under The BartCop Tax Plan I get $1500
and Mrs. BartCop gets $1500.  Under the greed-driven Smirk Plan I get $60.

I invite Cokie the Ho, Chris the Screamer, and all TV blow-dried shit-slingers who claim
to be giving impartial commentary on the greed-driven Smirk Plan, to reveal
what they're getting for pushing the Republican's version of "fairness."

They can't, because they know The BartCop Tax Plan is better.
It helps more people, it helps them faster, and it's 80 percentcheaper than the greed-driven Smirk Plan.

With Smirk doing his best to pave Denali, Yellowstone and Yosemite,
the imperiled critters, (unlike the spineless Democrats) are fighting back.

 A special thanks to Frederick T. Borts in Hawaii.
 (I don't have your e-mail address.)

 Does Dave Matthews read


 "You can't stop the future.
   I think working with the future will be easier than fighting it.
   People were trying to ban cassette tapes because they thought home taping would
   destroy the recording industry. Napster seems uncontrollable, but I think most people
   have enough respect for intellectual property that we can work something out."
     -- Dave Matthews, today's USA TODAY

  The first sentence was the most important.
  The future is here, we're not going back to the pre-Napster world.

  They shut down Napster, but what did they gain?

  Go to
  It's today's Napster.

  If they get a court order and shut it down, another will pop up.
  It can't be stopped.
  It's the future.

 I don't know who it was, because my mail program doesn't connect atachments to the sender,
 but somebody sent me a positively tacky picture of a girl having a good time
 with a young man and a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

 Shame on you.

 ha ha


Subject: Flying Monkey

Why was I banned from the flying Monkey room.
I can easily get in, I have software and I can easily go anywhere I want.
But out of respect to yur site I wont.

What gives ??

I dont go in there to make friends or engage those assholes in anything other than
a confrontational stance. In my opinion they lie and are among the most brainwashed
Assholes on the net. I do one thing, kick their Ass and they dont like it.

Is your site just for people who get along with those Assholes???
Let me at them or tell who ever keeps Fucking with me to leave me the fuck alone.
Do the flying Monkeys at the Sucks forum run your site??
The sonofabiches are running the government now.

Pissed off in Long Beach

I'm not entirely familiar with your language and references.
I've been to the Sucks site, and found a bunch of spineless weenies who don't
have the balls to stand up like men and face me, so they hide together like simple
ditto-monkeys do and grab each other's ass and offer "dittoes" at how superior they are.
That's all they've got - and I feel sorry for them.

It would surprise me to find out the DMs run that board, but I've been surprised before.
Perhaps  has set aside a room for the ditto-monkeys to play with themselves.
That might be good strategery.

But if it makes you feel any better, I'm six years now, waiting for a ditto-monkey
to stand up and explain to me where I'm wrong and why their way is better.
They can't.
They are cowards by nature.
They can't fight fair, so they gather in groups and pretend and it makes them feel better.

My advice?
Accept victory, pour yourself a shot of fine, luxury tequila and thank Koresh you were born
with logic and reason, free from the ditto-monkey/follower mindset that possesses them.

= = = = =

I haven't been there in a while, so I cruised into the Sux forum, saw this:


Subject: Answer this, liberals

      Suppose the left succeeds in derailing any meaningful tax cut? What does that mean to you?

You start off with a "stop beating your wife" non-question.
How do you define "meaningful" tax cut?
A Lexus?
A Rolls Royce?
Another yacht?

     Well I guess the liberals in Congress will have all that much more money to spend on votes.

How absurd and logic-free your "thinking" is.
We have a bought-congress, paid for by Big Oil, Big Cancer and the NRA,
yet you think the liberals are the ones buying votes?

     What else, what about the rest of the surplus? Even these big-spending Democrats can’t spend it all,
     as much as they love deficit spending.

Complete horseshit.
Reagan spent us into near bankruptcy and Clinton brought us out of it.
The Democrats have become the party of fiscal sanity, which is proven once again
by our desire to pay Reagan's debts while you scream for a trip to Disneyland.

     Why don't we invest it to “shore-up” Social Security and Medicare?

That's the first sane thing you're written.

     Where do you suppose we invest it?
     Well, we could invest it where everyone else invests. Stocks, bonds, mutual funds.

     But what happens when the government starts investing more and more of the surplus that has been
     pilfered from taxpayers in stocks, bonds and mutual funds? Quite simple, really. The government ends
     up owning more and more of the private sector.

     Now, what sort of political system do you have when the government owns the means of production?

ha ha
Let me guess - socialism?
ha ha
Paying our debts is socialism?
Who told you that?
Hannity or Pigboy?

So, be anti-socialists, ...we need an additional 5 trillion in debt?
You see what I mean about the Democrats being the party of fiscal sanity?
Rush has done well with you, my friend.

     Again, suppose the left succeeds in derailing any meaningful tax cut, what does that mean to you?!

Repeating a stupid question doesn't make it any smarter.

From: (wuthheld)

Subject: Your ego

Your Ego is so big, homeless people sleep under it!
Thanks for letting us build and feed your shadow ego, it't been an honor.


 Do we still have the right to vote?
       by Maxine Waters

 Click  Here

 This is not simply a black issue this is a voting rights issue for everybody.
 I think a lot of people are absolutely amazed that their vote may not be counted
 no matter what color they are.

From:  (withheld)

Subject: About Socialism...

    Bartcop, you are not a Socialist!  I would like to tell every Ditto-monkey who comes
to this website that Bartcop is not, repeat, NOT a Socialist.
    How do I know....?  Well, Bartcop, I know because I AM a Socialist, and
every time some redneck with a GED e-mails you and calls you a Socialist or a
Communist, it bothers me, because you are neither.
    Please stay with me, here.  Let us consult Webster's Dictionary.  ::ahem::
    Socialism:  any of the various social systems based on shared or governmental ownership
and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.
    To simplify for the Ditto-monkies, Socialism is an economic system in which the workers
--ninety percent of the population, say--control the means of production.  It's quite simple.
    Socialism is NOT giving tax cuts to the poor.
    It is NOT social security.
    It is NOT welfare, retirement pensions, or even the 'socialized' medicine of Western Europe.
    Are you following, everyone?
    Bartcop is not a Socialist. He is a Democratic Capitalist.  For heaven's sake, stop e-mailing him
and telling him that he's a Commie!  I am a longtime reader of Bartcop, and I have seen absolutely
no signs that he is a Socialist.
    I read Bartcop because, although I'm father to the left than he is, I like the fact that he says it's
not okay for the rich to shit all over the middle and working classes and to destroy our environment
in the process.  I lost a lot of faith in the Democratic Party when they traded in their workboots for
Gucci loafers.  I often vote Democrat because the Socialist Party in this country is a sellout joke and
the only way to  support the Average Joe and the Environment right now is to vote Democratic.
The Greens are finally getting their shit together, but they've got a long way to go.
    I hope that you don't mind getting an endorsement from a Commie Pinko like me, Bartcop, hahahaha.
    I hope that this letter clears up the confusion as to your preference in economic systems,
you Democratic Capitalist, you.   HAHA.

    In solidarity;


    P.S.  I'm not a tequila person---more of a whiskey girl myself--but I saw Chinaco Anejo at the store
and decided to give it a shot.  That's good stuff!  And please keep in mind that when I drink hard liquor,
I go for Johnnie Walker Black.  But Chinaco is really decent, I put the margarita mix away and
sipped it straight.  And to think that I used to drink Jose Cuervo, when Chinaco is only a few dollars more!
No more Cuervo for me.  Thanks for the tip, Bartcop!

 TV Guide has a great story about The Sopranos this week.

 I don't know what this is called, maybe understatement, but TV Guide says
 HBO bought hundreds of bus stop advertising panels in the New York area.
 (If I had an art department or a staff, this would be so much better...)

 In classic understated fashion - and this is so cool - the HBO people
 bought these panels at bus stops and all it said was one word:

 ...and the only clue, if you looked closely enough, was the letter "r" in March.

 It looked like this : 

 Is that not the epitome of class?

 Say a hundred people see that mini-billboard at the bus stop.
 Fifty New Yorkers might say, "What the fuck is that?   March what?"
 Another twenty might notice the "r" is different and mindlessly wonder why.

 ...but to the thirty who saw the "r" and got the message,
 it was sweet reaffirmation that the people who knew got the message.
 I mean, how often is Hollywood subtle?

 Sunday's episode was a great one.
 We got to see the newest "made man" take his oath.
 "You swear here today - that our family comes before your kids,
   before your wife, and before your parents. When you take this oath,
   you're saying you're in this family until the day you die."

 ha ha

 Poor Christopher (the maddog, donut attendant-shooting psychopath) was afraid
 he might be about to get the Joe Pesci treatment in "goodfellas."

 This is why we watch The Sopranos.

 That deadly mix of reality and absurdity that reflects how we live everyday.
 Not only did we see Christopher's induction, we saw the one-in-a-million Pauley Walnuts,
 one of the greatest characters ever invented, explain the rules to newbie Christopher.
 And when Christopher came up short, his old friend chopped him off at the knees, so to speak.

 They also gave us a good, old-fashioned armed robbery, which this show needs.
 I can't get into the Carmella redecorating subplots.
 I can't get into the everyday, nagging problems as much as I should.
 I don't want the FBI stalking Tony.
 Hey! Let the mob be the mob!
 Show me some gandland rivalry!

 And speaking of trouble, if you read the TV Guide, next week Svetlana asks the Russian mob
 to help her get her artificial leg ("worth $20,000 fucking dollars") back from the spiteful Janice.

 Poor Tony - next week he has to contend with Sack-boy from New York, who knows
 about Tony's occasional "epileptic seizures" and his visits to the leggy shrink.
 He has to contend with "Joey Pants" making a move on his territory.
 He has to contend with Christopher's newbie mistakes.
 He has to contend with the FBI's microphones planted in his home.
 He has to contend with Anthony Junior's newly discovered panic attacks.
 He has to contend with the Russian mob demanding Svetlana's stolen left leg.

 ...and to top it all off?

 His baby girl hates him for calling her black/Jewish boyfriend "Buckwheat."

 (Time out for a sip of God's sweet sunshine - ahhhhh)

 Right now, West Wing is the best show on television, no doubt.
 Right now, West Wing wears the heavyweight belt with pride.
 But The Sopranos is calling them out.

 By the end of May, only one of these shows will be the clear champion.
 Is this not American capitalism/competition at it's finest?

 We're seeing Leonard/Hearns.
 We're seeing Ali/Frazier.
 We're seeing Tyson/Holyfield, without the ear-biting.

 Two champions, slugging it out, fighting for the title, "Best Show on Television."'s a good time to own a TV.


 "When I was younger, I was such a hueueueuge fan of Led Zeppelin,
    I would've cut off my right hand to meet Jimmy Page."
     -- Alec Baldwin, VH-1's countdown of Best Hard Rock bands.

 Alec, I know how you feel.
 I'd rather meet Jimmy Page than Clinton.

 ...but, that you're no longer with Kim,
 I'll bet you're damn glad you still have your right hand.


Subject: Pigboy in Fantasyland

Hi Bartcop,

I was spying over at Pigboy's site today and saw this
- it's the cover of his latest selfindulgent-propaganda rag.

It looks like he superimposed his own blubbery head on Russell Crowe's Gladiator body.
I'd puke if I wasn't laughing so hard!



ha ha

Poor Pigboy.
All those hundreds of millions and he has the self-esteem of warm dogshit.
I almost feel sorry for him.

"A man, ...a legend, ...a way of life,"  is how the sick bastard introduces himself.

I wonder, is he a battered husband?
What could cause him to go to such lengths to seek approval?
Hiring a choir of black singers to sing, "Thank God Rush is on the EIB."
I think of it as "Playing for Time."

And paying Paul Shankland and others, to praise his Wholy Infected ass.

"Talent - on loan from God," and the Christians don't mind???

 It's OK if Rush "borrows" Jesus Christ's good name. After all, Jesus Christ died on the cross for us,
 and Rush hates Clinton, (and that's Christlike?) so we forgive Rush for borrowing Holy God's name and dignity,
 as long as he does a tampon joke or a Monica choking on Clinton's cock joke, because, after all,
 if Jesus Christ didn't stand for personal insults, well, you just don't understand God like Rush or Papax7.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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