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Volume 431 - The Chapel of Democracy 
.Old Stuff .  .......... ....Celebrity-hoe-mails ...... .....  ...Required Reading.  .....   .The Myth of the Liberal Media
                 .Onthe Far,  Far Horizon........................LiveWeb Cams ........................TheRuby Tape           The BartCop Tax Plan
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 March 19-20, 2001       Thanks to JennyQ at for the Smirk/Pigg graphic.

More Contender



I agree with you about the movie The Contender -- really good movie with a bad ending.
But I didn't find fault with Joan Allen's not challenging the authenticity of the photo.

Rather, I didn't like the fact that the movie made the photo fake. The premise of the movie
seemed to be that there is a double standard between men and women with regards to sexual
activity, yet the movie didn't allow Joan Allen the sexual freedom it claimed to champion.
The movie fell short because it insisted on categorizing the female lead as either a Madonna
or a whore, and that was just a little too sexist for me.

I'm having trouble drawing the distinction that my debate opponents draw on this.
There will always be a double standard - and maybe there should be.
(Words mean things - I said maybe.)

If this planet is going to continue to spin, the male will have to be the aggressor and the female
will have to play the role of the resistor.  I believe there will never come a time when it's OK
for women to do what men do because we probably cannot procreate without that chase.

You know I'm not a Promise Keeper or a Biblical nut, but we can't have two aggressors.
It's just not going to work. I can't foresee a time when women brag about bagging 50 guys back in college,
while the men under-report their sexual partners because our society isn't set up that way.
You can stomp and spit and shout but we are what we is, and I, for one, am not ready to switch roles.

Maybe that's why I can't buy her reasoning, "Had this been a man, would it be that bad?"
No, it wouldn't, but how can we re-write thousands of years of male/female sexuality?
If we get to the point where couples can't have sex unless a woman does the chasing
the planet will drop in population a billion people per decade.

That story (below) about the priests raping the nuns?
You're never going to see a headline, "Nuns rape priests."
It's not going to happen.

Look, I'm all for the equality of women - surely 430 issues gets my foot in the door of credibility.
But it's not equality I'm talking about. Men are pigs - that's why men cheat.
Male lions kill other male lions because that's what males do.
You can't teach the lionesses to kill the other lionesses.

We are what we is, and that's all it is.
You is what you am, and cows don't make ham.

What if you went to Mardi Gras, and the women begged the men to drop their pants
so they could throw a string of beads around his Tom Delay?
See how crazy that is? That's not going to fly, no matter how equal women get.

(I can see the mountain of hate mail heading my way, but - on this subject - you women
can only be guessing. You have no idea what it's like to be a man, (read: pig) and vice-versa.
I'm just saying if we throw away our present roles in sexuality, with what will we replace them?
If you women write with a complaint, address that red paragraph.)

About midway through the movie Joan Allen was given information about an abortion that the
wife of the Gary Oldman character had had many years earlier unbeknownst to Gary Oldman,

(Quick sidebar: was that the case? Oldman's wife told him, "I gave up my life to make you happy,"
 which led me to believe he knew.)

which would have been a Big Hammer if ever there was one. Joan Allen was told to use this
information during her confirmation hearings if the issue of abortion came up.

Sure enough, the TV cameras are cranking away at the confirmation hearings, and Gary Oldman
goes off on a tirade about killing innocent babies. This is her chance to squash him like a bug and
be confirmed as Vice President. And she refused to use the Big Hammer.

No, no, no, that was a hueueueuege mistake on her part.
In chess, it's not what you do, it's what you CAN do.

She should've said, "Excuse me, Mr Chairman, are you saying, for example, if someone was always
preaching about abortion as "killing babies," then paid for an abortion, that person would then be
a hypocrite and unworthy of holding public office?"


She made her threat without naming him, and the next move is his.
If his next sentence was "Yes, that person would be unfit for office," THEN she nails the bastard.
But if he understands what she's doing, he'd likely say, "Perhaps I've chosen my words poorly,"
then he would've backed down and probably voted for her, knowing she had him by the balls.

Right there she proved that she was a better person than I am, even if she had participated in
a three-way back in college.   Maybe I just have trouble believing that anybody is that righteous.


Actually, she was accused of "having the whole show, and that's a natural fact," to quote Mark Farner.
But I sure agree with that last sentence. To be put thru that kind of hell and not fight back is, well, ...Clintonian.

Can you believe Clinton has been sitting on the Iran-Contra proof all this time and hasn't used it?
Maybe he was only going to use it if the Demos came to him just before the impeachment vote
and said, "You're going to lose."  Maybe then, he would've played the Reagan's Ruined Legacy card.

I'd sure like to ask him that when I meet him.

Well, I'd better sign off now so I can start reading the hate mail about what a pig I am,
which is part of my whole point.  A woman wouldn't have written this piece.

 Today's Bushism

 "But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent,
  that hide behind the ... that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to.
  They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these
  people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example,
  to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans."
       -- The Idiot Smirk, Media roundtable, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2001

  Thanks to


Subject: Juan Williams

Hey Bartcop,

Just now on NPR Juan Williams said that those visitors on the sub were NOT big Republican donors.
They were just donors to the USS Missouri memorial fund....

This guy is supposed to be on a "liberal" radio alternative to the pigboy lies?
I'll e-mail him about him, but why is it that we have to ALWAYS be watching
our "friends" who keep repeating GOP lies?

It's my understanding they were contributors to The Missouri Fund, but that fund
has the same legal status as the Clinton Library, and look at the shit Clinton caught.

There is a reason why the White House and the GOP are being protected,
and it's NOT because these good ol' Texas oil men wanted to help The Missouri.
We can't get the facts because the whore press is too busy chasing Clinton's cock.

Koresh, it was only six months ago when the media was a White House watch dog.
Now, they don't report on White House crimes, just Clinton allegations.

We have nine dead and nobody cares!

 Priests Rape Nuns?
  Force then to have abortions?
  Right here in the United States?

 I wouldn't print such a salacious headline if Yahoo wasn't standing behind it.

 Click  Here  for the forever version

 Click  Here  to see Yahoo's attribution

 Read the report.
 It says they've known about this since February 1995 - over six years ago.
 How many hundreds or thousands of rapes has the Vatican ignored in those six years?

 I've told you again and again
 The Church exists to collect money.
 What's the difference between praying at home and going to church?

 The collection plate.

 Quotes Then

 "Prosperity, itself, is on the ballot in November."
   -- Al Gore, again and again

 Quotes Now

 "The economy is slowing down."
  -- The unelected Smirk

 Looks like Gore was right.
 Even tho American voted for prosperity, Tony (Three Fingers) Scalia said, "No!"


Subject: How far will it go???

Morning Bart,

It pisses me off to hear on the news that smirk is blaming the energy crisis
on Bill and not one Dem. calls them on it.

Got a letter from the DNC telling me we know your mad about the election.
Yeah I am, but I`m mad at you wimps for letting the repugs lead you by the nose!

Bart, all I read is you and grit my teeth to watch the news.
Be reading you.


Joe, you're not alone being mad at the fake democrats.
They think their job is kissing the thief's ass - and it's pissing me off!

 The BartCop Tax Cut Picks Up Steam

 "Senate GOP leaders are giving renewed attention to rebates as a quick way
   to get tax cuts into consumers' hands. Democrats are pushing for the refunds,
   which would likely be the same for all families,"
       -- the Whore Street Journal reports.

 I don't need to get the credit for this.
 Who came up with the idea is not important - just do it.
 I've always said anything written on  is yours.
 Get the damn 10 percent rebates for a maximum of $1500 per wage-earner
 and I don't care if you give the vulgar Pigboy the credit - just do it.

 ...anything is better than billions for the billionaires.

 The Clinton-Gore Recession?

 Text of a Letter sent by a Friend (Retired Navy Veteran)to the RNC Chairman Gov. Gilmore:

For Governor Gilmore:

Governor, I believe it's about time for the Party and its leaders in Congress to preemptively begin
calling the current economic slump exactly what it is, namely the "Clinton-Gore Recession."

The economy started to slump last summer. Before the Democrats begin to blame it on President Bush,
as they certainly will, we should beat 'em to the punch. Republican guests on the Sunday talk shows,
O'Reilly, HardBall, Crossfire, etc., shouldn't miss ANY opportunity to blame the previous administration
for what's happening to the economy. Republicans on the floor of the house and senate should do it, too.

Let's give the Democrats a dose of their own medicine and put them on the defensive for once.

For too long we've been the party of "Mr. Nice Guy."
It's time for US to behave toward them in the same ruthless and mean-spirited way they've treated us for years.
The hell with collegiality!!

(name & town)

ha ha

Isn't that precious?
The only time in history when they blamed the guy driving the boat was Jimmy Carter.
Carter's problems were Carter's fault.
Reagan's problems were Carter's fault.
Bush's problems were Carter's fault.
Clinton's miracle was Reagan's doing.
Bush's problems are Clinton's fault.

...and after a nine-year cock hunt, they're tired of being "Mr Nice Guy?"

ha ha

 Quotes Then

 "What I think the president ought to do, is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel
   and say, 'We expect you to open your spigots!'  I think Americans ought to be asking where's
   all the capital we earned overseas after defending some of our OPEC nation friends?''
     -- Candidate Smirk, campaigning like he had a pair and knew what he was doing

 Quotes Now

 Asked about OPEC cutting output again, Bush said Monday that the oil producers were simply
 "responding to decreasing world demand'' and no more.

 I'll tell you what's going on:
 OPEC is playing ball with Smirk and the American oil companies.
 If OPEC floods the market with oil, Smirk and his buddies can't rape the consumers.
 If they pretend oil is scarce, they can charge any goddamn price they want.
 Smirk wins, the oil companies win, OPEC wins, and when the economy tanks
 Smirk can blame Clinton for the whole mess and the whore press will shout it.

 You can't think it's an accident that energy prices are going thru the roof with Cheney in charge.
 Why do you think he got that $25,000,000 bonus for qutting his job?
 They knew that money was coming back a thousand-fold.

 This never would've happened when Clinton was in charge.
 We're staring to see what a great president Clinton was.
 Peace and prosperity is quickly becoming a thing of the past.

 ...and all it took was one little "harmless" stroll by Ariel Sharon to kick it off.

 Unrest in the Middle East helps BIG OIL get richer faster.
 Unrest in the Middle East gives the military industrial complex an excuse to crank up production.
 Unrest in the Middle East gives Smirk an excuse to blame Clinton for our "unpreparedness."
 Unrest in the Middle East gives that goofy-ass Star Wars a shot at being funded.

 There's so damn much money in just Star Wars that would've been reason enough, all by itself,
 for Smirky's friends to buy and cheat him into the White House.

 Oh, by the way, his friends need a tax cut, too, so fuck you, America.

 Contender Feedback

 Click  Here

GOP Will Never Say 'Die' In Pursuit Of Clintons
   by Steve Young in the Albion Monitor, March 12, 2001


March 11, 2075, WASHINGTON -- In a move surprising almost no one, and in a
response to the most recent Senate subpoena, grave diggers at Arlington National
Cemetery began the unenviable task of exhuming President Bill Clinton's remains.

The Senate hearings looking into a particle of DNA found in the Oval Office humidor, are
expected to reach an elevated sense of drama and wit. The dead President is expected
to receive a relentless grilling from Republican foes who seemed bent on bringing the
former Commander-in-chief to his knees, contingent, of course, on whether or not his
knees have yet to decompose entirely.

It is the seventh time this century that the beleaguered former President has been dug up
to answer questions concerning alleged wrong-doing, a record surpassing former
five-term President Hillary Clinton's six unearthings.

With cryogenics playing an ever-burgeoning part of the Republican Party's effort to
humiliate the dead President, an amazing simulation of the late Senator Arlen Spector of
Pennsylvania, said that, once again, "impeachment would not be out of the question." If
the Congress and Senate are successful in their efforts, this would be Clinton's third such
impeachment since his death in 2048.

172 year-old Senator Strom Thurmond, whose sustained efforts to embarrass the former
president are only surpassed by his continued refusals to die, said, "President Clinton
was and still is..." (The rest of his statement was unintelligible).

The death-impaired Clinton refused comment, except for a statement released from his
office which continues to insist that "...the former President is once again the target of
Republican enemies who still can't run on the issues."

From this robotic home at Disneyland's famed Hall Of Spinners, Clinton animatromnic pal
James Carville said that, "...this is all a lot of Republican hooey. We all know that even
dead, Bubba could whup whomever the GOP puts up against him." Carville's comments
seem supported by Bill Clinton's unexpected third term in office (2060-2064), to date the
only known incidence of a deceased candidate elected to the top post and serving his
entire term. "His distinguished performance, considering his being a corpse, was
first-rate," Carville drawled.

With recent polls still showing the deceased Chief Executive with a 78 percent approval
rating, reporters have asked the former President if he will entertain running for public
office again, considering that he remains severely dead. The obviously tired -- but still
enthusiastic -- Comeback Kid smiled, "it depends what your definition of dead is."

Steve Young is a 2000 Prism Award winner and Humanitas Nominee for his comedy television writing.

 Have you been to

 I liked it more than I thought I would.
 The newsbabe gives you actual, real news from today - while stripping.

 I had to make a detour to get a Windows multi-media plug in, which I needed anyway,
 but once that was installed it was nakednews.

 You gotta see it at least once.

    Diane            Holly            Victoria

 Wasn't that a frustrating Sopranos last Sunday?

 If you missed it, Tony's psychiatrist was raped by some bonehead thug in a parking garage.
 The idiot cops screwed up his processing and a judge ordered the charges dropped,
 so he was released and couldn't be legally punished for the rape, even tho she can identify him.

 Dr Melfi accidentally discovers where he works, and she knows all she has to do is mention
 this to Tony and the guy will be castrated before he's killed - but she won't tell him.
 She came reeeeeeeeal close, but she just told Tony she'd been in a car wreck.

 Me? I have no conscience.
 I would've told in a heartbeat.

 I know this sounds weird but The Sopranos needs more crime and more violence.
 I mean, this is about a mob family, right?

 My favorite guy on the show is Paulie.
 Paulie is violent enough for two thugs.
 Have you seen his file at

 Check this out:  (Genaro is his real first name)

 ha ha

 He threatened to use a baseball bat on some guy and then carve his initials in the guy's forehead.


Subject: Scandals

I was listening to some pundit talk about the Clinton presidency. He seemed to think that, if it wasn't
for the scandals, his tenure would have been great. This pundit went on to blame Mr. Clinton for the
scandals, talking about him as a "flawed character".

Now, I'm not very good at remembering things, but, apart from the Lewinski thing (which I see as more
of a scandal for Starr & Co than Mr. Clinton), I can't for the life of me remember a scandal that wasn't
almost strictly a ditto-head Repug invention. Of course, we ALL know that the Press only presents the truth,
so there must have been something! Can you help me here?

Robert Webster

No, your memory is just fine.

There was never anything to any of the scandals.
It was all horseshit, I think, designed to give the whore press something to talk about
besides Smirk Daddy's pardoning everybody to hide the Iran Contra felonies.

We now know the Whore Court wanted the Democrats defeated all along,
that's why they made one idiotic anti-Clinton ruling after another,
like forcing the Secret Service and Clinton's own lawyers to testify against him.

We're locked into many more years of the Whore Court taking our rights away.

   Courtesy of the Wizard of Whimsy

 I caught a load of horseshit over at

 Federal taxes are the highest they've ever been in peacetime.

 That can't be true.
 Rush tells us every day that JFK lowered the top rate from 90 percent to 60 percent.
 How could today's less than 40 percent be higher than 1960's 90 percent?

 Americans pay more in taxes than they spend on food, clothing, and shelter combined.

 That's crazy talk.
 My mortgage, by itself, is more than my taxes each month.

 Americans work nearly five months of the year just to pay their tax bill.

 This one might be true.
 So get Trent Lott to stop building ships (in Mississippi) that we don't need.

 High tax rates are keeping low-income taxpayers out of the middle-class.

 If that's true, why don't we lower taxes on the low-income taxpayers?

 Economic slowing and widespread corporate layoffs prove that the American economy needs a boost -- now.

 That would make you a supporter of The BartCop Tax Plan.
 Smirk's plan slowly gives a tax break to the super-wealthy over five years.
 The BartCop Tax Plan gets immediate money to every wage earner.

 Is Metallica breaking up?

 Click  Here


Subject:  Energy Secretary Warns of Shortages, Recession Risk

How many energy shortages did we have while Clinton was president?

Do they really think we are so fucking stupid as to buy this line of bullshit?

 Napster Talk

 Click  Here

 Another thing, have you ever been to alt.binaries.sounds.2000s?
 They also have alt.binaries.sounds.1990s, alt.binaries.sounds.1980s etc.

 You can't dial up what you want, like on Napster, but sooner or later everything shows up.
 Nothing can stop the newsgroups.


Subject: Rush makes sense -- but only in his own mind

Rush makes sense -- but only in his own mind
"The dirty little secret remains: Cut taxes and you increase revenue to Washington."

Rush, if this is true, then why is Congress so reluctant to cut taxes?
The more they collect, the more they can and will spend, as you never tire of pointing out.
So why the reluctance? Do they know something you're not saying?

Huh, Rush?


 "He's embarrassing. He's not my president. He will never be my president."
    -- Julia Roberts, speaking for the majority

 "I can't believe this moron is president."

 I still hadn't seen The Contender.

 When I went to the local Blockbuster, it was sold out.

 Of course, they had tons and tons of shit movies.
 I had a pen in my pocket, so I made a list of movies and how many they had:

 Get Carter 40
 Hollow Man 40
 The Sixth Day 40
 Battlefield Earth 40
 Rocky & Bullwinkle 40
 Mission Impossible II 40

 Almost Famous 0
 Meet the Parents 0
 The Contender 0

 Who buys their movies for them? How does he keep his job?
 Why did they buy so many copies of shit films nobody wants to rent?
 Of course, the shit movies all have that "Guaranteed in Stock" sign on them
 because nobody rents them so they're always be in stock.
 I wish digital video on demand would hurry up and get here.

 Anyway, I called them the next day and they said they had a copy, so now I've seen it.

 Click Here  to read spoilers about the movie.

 Wait, here's one thing that won't spoil anything.

 Click  Here to hear Joan Allen put religious insanity in it's place.


Subject: The BartCop Tax Plan

Okay, here's what's been bugging me about this whole tax cut thing.
We've already seen that trickle-down economics helps only the rich,
and rather than trickle-down the rest of us get trickled ON.
The wealthy do not become more generous when they become more wealthy.
Doesn't work that way.
You give a wealthy man an extra 50K and he has an extra 50K.

But it DOES work the other way:
You give anyone who ISN'T wealthy an extra thousand or two, and what happens?
We SPEND it!  Yes!  Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but guess what?
Eventually, it ends up in the pockets of the wealthy ANYWAY.
And along the way, it enriches everyone that much more, stimulates the economy,
saves jobs, puts food on the family, etc, etc.

EVERYBODY WINS with the BartCop tax plan.
So why doesn't everybody support it?

It's like you've been telling us all along.  They don't care so much about
winning as they do about EVERYONE ELSE LOSING.

US diplomats cringe as Powell gets standing ovation for Jerusalem slip

Whore City, March 19 (AFP) - US diplomats cringed Monday as a large crowd exploded in raucous applause
for Secretary of State Colin Powell in appreciation of his recent gaffe in calling Jerusalem the capital of Israel.

Powell, speaking before the annual meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, carefully avoided
any mention of Jerusalem or Israel's capital in his remarks, but his hosts were eager to play it up.

"This is one audience that appreciates your testimony before the House International Relations Committee that
Jerusalem is the capital of Israel," Tim Wulliger said while introducing Powell to the Jewish lobby group.
The capacity crowd in the ballroom immediately rose, enthusiastically clapping, while Powell sat quietly
at the head table and embarrassed State Department officials remained in their chairs, heads lowered.

Powell infuriated the Arab world when he told the congressional committee Smirk was committed to moving
Washington's "embassy to the capital of Israel, which is Jerusalem."

The holy city is claimed as a capital by both Israel and the Palestinians and long-standing US policy is that
Jerusalem's status must be resolved in negotiations between the two sides.

For days after Powell's testimony, the State Department was forced to repeatedly deny that US policy on Jerusalem
had changed and the secretary himself acknowleged committing a diplomatic blunder in his unscripted remarks.

Israel's claim over the whole of Jerusalem, the Arab eastern part of which it captured and annexed in the
1967 Middle East war, is not recognized by the international community.

 Common Sense Redux
  by Christian Livemore

 Click  Here

 Daschle Moves Toward BartCop Tax Plan

      Tom Daschle recently announced his plan to cut the bottom income tax rate
from 15% to 10% immediately and retroactive to January.
      Although we applaud him for finally getting the Bartcop message, he offers too little too late.
Even though it does not favor the wealthy, like the Bush Plan, the amounts are too small,
the method too complicated, the stimulus comes too late and it still does not provide relief for
everyone who pays taxes.   It's another lame political loser.
      The Bartcop Plan is still the only plan on the table that meets the Presidents criteria to
provide economic stimulus and give relief to all taxpayers.   Let's all of us contact Daschle
and tell him to adopt the Bartcop Plan, a sure political winner, before its too late.

The Unbiased Reporter


 "A promise made and a promise broken. After eight weeks in office,
  President Bush has gone from C02 to see you later."
      - Hillary Clinton


 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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