"Since that day almost four years ago, I have
vowed to do everything I can
to ensure that the torture and cover-up I suffered will not be inflicted
on my children or anyone else's children in the future."
- Abner Louima, regarding "It's Guiliani time"
Gets Three Years in Dog's Death
Forcible sodomy to be man's new best friend
A man who tossed a fluffy little dog to
its death in a bout of road rage last year
was sentenced to the maximum Friday: three years behind bars.
Andrew Burnett, 27, was convicted last month
of animal cruelty for throwing the dog
named Leo into oncoming traffic after a fender-bender with the dog's owner.
I love it.
Granted, it was "just a dog," but this son of a bitch got what
His point wasn't to kill the dog, I don't think, but to cause the maximum amount of pain
to the driver of the car he hit. Let's hope he gets an over-sexed, 300-pound roommate
who's doing life without parole for a string of sexual torture crimes.
Subject: 12 Mile Limit/200 Mile Limit
I notice that when the United States was flying
spy planes over China,
it only recognized China’s border at 12 miles off shore.
But when it comes to drilling for oil in the Gulf,
our country has oil rights
that are at least 100 miles off shore. What gives?
Mediaman, what gives is that China now has the 2008 Olympics,
and President Weak & Stupid has no comment on that fact.
I think when Smirk got on his knees and begged China to play nice, they
"We want an apology, we want you to stop spying on us, we want your compliance
on the Olympics decision and we want some favors in the future, too."
...and President Weak & Stupid agreed.
Of course, Smirky's uncle is president of the US-China Grab-Ass Association,
which we disclosed a few days ago right here on bartcop.com
Hell, I didn't even know there was a Prescott Bush Jr.
Prescott Bush Sr. made secret deals with the Nazi's, and Junior is going to make
hundreds of millions for the Bush Family Evil Empire on this Olympics deal.
But, as always, since it doesn't involve Clinton's zipper, the press
and the Bush Family Evil Empire is allowed to do any goddamn thing they want.
We don't have a free press in thsi country.
We have willing whores on the Bush Family Evil Empire payroll.
by John DePaola
For decades, our nation had been armed to the teeth just to defend ourselves
from the hapless Soviet block. Now with the failure of this doomed system,
we were told by our leaders that finally, there would be more money available
for important national concerns. But only after President Bill Clinton fixed the
economic disaster left to him by Reaganomics. So with wise political decisions,
fiscal responsibility, and a brilliant slate of economic advisors, the Democratic
president focussed “like a laser beam” on our nation’s economic woes.
Subject: Republican liars
I had to send you this e-mail first thing this
morning because I am so damn mad I can't see straight.
First thing this morning Ollie North is on Fox talking about the Condit scandal.
Naturally he and Bob Barr are asking Condit to resign. Those bastards are the ones that should have
resigned long time ago. I can't believe these people can get on television and condemn the Democrats.
I think Dick Morris, Ollie North, Henry Hyde,
Bob Barr, Dan Burton, Livingston, Newt, Bush Sr.
and if he could Ronald Reagan (if he was in his right mind) should have stepped down from politics
for things that they have done. It makes my blood boil to hear these bastards try to pretend that they
are so moral. I wish Larry Flint would get on the Republican case again.
They are some mean hateful people. I
will be glad when they become the minority again.
I also wish Fox News could go bankrupt if that was possible. To me they act like they are insane.
They scream at the guest and they're so rude to them. I can see why some people don't want to
do their shows. I have found that cable news is very destrutive. They lie a lot on the cable shows.
They don't have facts, so they will just say what they think is going on. They will repeat a rumor
before it has been proven to be a fact. That kind of stuff ruins people's reputations, when a rumor
gets out, some people are going to believe it regardless, and that's real bad.
I am getting to the point that I don't want
to watch TV anymore.
Bart please let me know what you think, maybe I am wrong.
Please let me know.
Bert, you're so right, I put the parts I agree with in bold.
Can you believe it?
Gary Condirt seems significantly more guilty now
than he was the last time we talked.
Can you believe it?
Aide Smashes Phone To Avert Bush Wrath
What is a congressional aide to do with a phone
rudely ringing just as President Bush
is about to enter the room? Knock it off the wall, apparently. That was the course of action
chosen by Kyle Downey, aide to Uncle OJ Watts (R-Passing) as 200 GOP House members looked on.
"The spotlight was on," said Downey. "It was a unique moment."
Downey confirmed an account of the incident as
described in the Roll Call newspaper. As the GOP
conference awaited the President's arrival in a Capitol building meeting room, a wall phone started ringing.
Knowing that Smirky gets testy when phones ring during meetings, the members looked to Downey for action.
When Downey's efforts to unplug the receiver didn't
do the job, Uncle OJ ordered him to remove it from the wall.
So he whacked it off the wall. Or, more precisely, "I just popped it off the wall," Downey said. "It took a little force."
Bush entered the room a minute or so later, crisis
Hey, whatever makes Weak & Stupid happy...
rests comfortably after surgery to implant pacemaker in brain
Thanks to a device similar to the one in Vice President Dick Cheney's heart,
the nation has healthy, clear-thinking, plain-speaking leaders again.
In the second White House health scare in little more than a week, doctors Wednesday night implanted
a sophisticated pacemaker in Bush's brain. The device, known as an implantable cranial defibrillator, or ICD,
continuously monitors and records the president's brain waves. When Mr. Bush's brain activity becomes
dangerously slow for a chief executive, the device delivers a mild electric shock, jolting the president back
to a relatively active mental state.
Conservatives afraid of the dark?
by Carol Schiffler
The June 21st Voluntary Rolling Blackout protest apparently struck a real sore spot with our
conservative brethren. For reasons that are totally beyond me, the simple act of turning off a light
switch seemed to awaken some primal emotion, buried deep in the hypothalamus, and resulting
in some of the least lucid hate mail we have seen to date.
The most common right-wing reaction was,
“Oh yeah? Well I am going to turn my lights on
and fire up all my appliances and drive around in my big, gas-guzzling SUV.”
There are so many things wrong with that picture that it is hard to know where to begin.
Have you ever used your computer to play along on Millionaire?
I have, and it works pretty well.
I'm not talking about playing the online version, I'm talking
under the same conditions as the phone-a-friend. Depending on the question,
the guy in the hot seat can mention one or two words to the friend at home
who's got his hot little hands on the keyboard.
To simulate actual conditions, all you have to do is turn down
until the friend gets on the phone. Then, without looking, see if you can
punch in the info you hear and watch how fast the answer appears.
The times I've tried it, the answer came right up, with 15-20 seconds to spare.
No big point to make here, but why don't more contestants call
high-speed modems on their computers? Or better yet, a party of people
with more than one computer involved?
With a potential million dollars at stake, why not give it a try?
From: Jim Carr
Tom Daschle is a Communist
DemoCRAPS eat s&i$!!
Eat your heart out!
It's always nice to hear a reasoned, well-thought out argument
from the conservative viewpoint.
Looking around for advertising possibilities, I was just quoted
a rate of $300
to be included in an e-mail politics newsletter with a circulation of 10,048.
You can get more views at bartcop.com for just $60
I ask you - what's a better deal?
10,000 views for $300 ...or more than 10,000 views for $60?
The intelligence of our presidents has never been seriously scrutinized
at any time in our history until now.
There is a widespread perception that President G. W. Bush is not qualified for the position he holds.
That increasing awareness by the people has led to a study of the intellectual ability of all presidents
for the past fifty years. There have been twelve presidents in that time, from Roosevelt to G. W.Bush.
All were rated based on scholarly achievements, writings
that they alone wrote, their ability to speak
effectively, and a number of psychological factors. The conclusions of the study, conducted by an
independent think tank located in Scranton, Pennsylvania were surprising.
This think tank includes high caliber historians, psychiatrists,
sociologists, scientists in human behavior,
and psychologists. Among their ranks are Dr. Werner Levenstein, world-renowned sociologist, and
Professor Patricia A. Williams, a world-respected psychiatrist. All members of the think tank are experts
at being able to detect a person's IQ from the criteria stated earlier. After four months of research, these
learned men and women have determined the IQs of each president within a range of five percentage points.
The IQs listed below are the norms for each president.
147 Franklin D. Roosevelt (D)
132 Harry Truman (D)
122 Dwight D. Eisenhower (R)
174 John F. Kennedy (D)
126 Lyndon B. Johnson (D)
155 Richard M. Nixon (R)
121 Gerald Ford (R)
175 James E. Carter (D)
105 Ronald Reagan (R)
099 George HW Bush (R)
182 William J. Clinton (D)
091 George W. Bush (R)
The non-partisan researchers who evaluated the twelve presidents determined
that the six Republican
presidents for the past 50 years had an average IQ of 115.5, with President Nixon having the highest IQ,
at 155. President G. W. Bush was rated the lowest of all the Republicans with an IQ of 91.
The six Democrat presidents had IQs with an average of 156, with
Bill Clinton having the highest at 182.
President Johnson was rated the lowest of all the Democrats with an IQ of 126. The margin of error is
plus or minus five percent. This study was initiated on February 13, 2001 and completed on June 17, 2001.
This study validated the widespread feeling of people about the sitting president. President Bush was rated
low because of his inability to command the English language, his lack of any scholarly achievements, and
an absence of anything authored by him that would reflect an intellectual effort.
...thanks to Jennifer Daniels
Subject: "Going back to Crawford"
I don't understand. Is this "threat" supposed to scare someone--anyone?
He's proving too weak to really deliver for the
He's destroying the chances for moderate Republicans.
It SURE doesn't scare dems that he might cut and run.
What's the point of making the threat?
Pat, you know how it is with these snot-nosed rich kids.
When they strike out playing sandlot ball, they say,
"No, that's just two strikes, and if I don't get another chance
I'm gonna take my ball and my bat and my bases and go home,"
so the poorer kids give in and let him strike out again.
It's how he was brought up...
Subject: Levy theory
BTW, how is this theory for the Condit incident:
Here is what we know:
She had "big news"
She left her keys
He has ties to Hells Angels
He lied numerous times to the cops (at least 3 interviews)
He has other affairs
My theory is this, she was pregnant. She
believed that he would leave his
wife as he probably told her on numerous occasions. Upon telling him on the
phone the day before her diappearance, he panics. He calls her from a pay
phone the next day (day of disappearance) and tells her he is going to pick
her up for a "celebration". He picks her up and drives her to an out of the
way locale for a "picnic". He drugs either the food or the drink. Upon her
passing out, he hands her over to the Hells Angels who kill her and
bury her in an out of the way locale (they would know one, right?).
Of course those damn people are on TV saying "nobody
believes he did it"
....when one of them on LK live last night said he was in Chicago and 99%
of the people in the airport he talked to DID, the other person jumped in and
said "Well I don't believe that"..... everyone I talk to thinks he has something
to do with it, it seems the only ones who don't are criminal defense attorney
who are programmed to spout doubt filled words.
Yesterday, I would've thought your theory was too wild.
Today I'm not so sure.
This Just In...
CHANDRA LEVY WAS PREGNANT;
HER COMPUTER, CELL PHONE WERE USED
THE DAY AFTER SHE WENT MISSING
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER is reporting in its July 24 edition set to hit
newstands on Friday that
missing intern Chandra Levy was pregnant with Congressman Gary Condit's baby!
"Authorities have information that Chandra told at least one friend
that she was pregnant --
and she said the baby was Condit's," a source close to the investigation disclosed to the ENQUIRER.
The ENQUIRER cites a Justice Department source:
"A friend told investigators Chandra said she was pregnant. The FBI
and Washington D.C. police
have subpoenaed her medical records. One investigator told me: 'We believe Levy was pregnant!'
The source also added, "The FBI does believe her disappearance is a 'love crime.'"
The ENQUIRER quotes a source who says that at least 5
women who were romantically involved
with Condit are now afraid of him, and are keeping a low profile.
The ENQUIRER quotes a cousin of Chandra's, Michael Maistelman, who says
and former Condit lover Anne Marie Smiths's accounts of being followed "closely parallel" those
told by Jennifer Baker, a former Condit intern and the person who introduced Levy to the congressman.
"Jennifer is getting the same kind of phone calls and is convinced she's
being followed," said
Maistelman, who helped the Levys get the FBI involved in the case.
According to a source at Justice, investigators "have records indicating
someone used Chandra's computer
the day after she was last seen on April 30, and that her cell phone had also been used on May 1."
"Her computer was definitely logged on with her password."
Webster's dictionary announced today that from now on when you
look up the word "guilty," instead of OJ, you'll see a picture of Gary Condit.
From: Joe C
Subject: Explaining to my daughter
My ten-year old Daughter came up to me and asked,
"Daddy, what are layoffs?", after explaining it
to her, I realized she had probably never HEARD the word "layoff" until this year.
...She grew up during Bill Clinton.
I remember the Repubs saying "how terrible" it was to have to explain words like "adultry" to our kids.
Somehow, this seems MUCH worse.
Try explaining words like layoffs, rollbacks, blackouts, and recession to a ten-year old.
It's HARD. And I don't see it getting any easier.
Soon I'll be trying to explain all those "terrible"
republican ideas, like how when WORKERS come together
in unions to fight for living wages and safety laws, THATS "socialism", but when oil companies collude to
raise energy prices, THATS "free markets".
Joe, yeah, a whole generation is going to have to learn words like
"recession, depression, layoffs, unemployment, downsizing" etc etc.
And as far as "adultery," that's one of my pet peeves.
The GOP claims, "Clinton made oral sex a household term," but he didn't.
Clinton did everything in his power to hide that.
It was the nasty-ass cock-hunters in the GOP that insisted every broadcast
of the evening news held "fantastic new developments" about Monica
because they were unable to beat him fairly at the ballot box.
When Smirky came along, they just said "fuck it," and stole the election.
Democratic dream team: Clinton-Condit in 2004
by Ann Coulter
What a whore.
If/when you read the article, you'll find Clinton's name doesn't even come up.
She's just being a partisan whore, yammering on about Condit and "stained dresses,"
continuing the vulgar Pigboy line of reasoning that "this is EXACTLY like Clinton and Monica."
Sure it is, Annie, except Monica wasn't hurt by anybody except Hardon Kenny.
Annie draggs Clinton's name into the headline because she knows
the sexually-dysfunctionate Freepers get when they see Clinton's name.
Ann, you're such a whore, and you're lucky I don't use the "C" word on this page.
J-Lo in hot water
I haven't seen the tape yet, but there was a group of vocal black
threatened to throw rice and beans at Jennifer Lopez while she was performing live
on NBC's Today Show this morning.
I haven't heard it, but it seems J-Lo used the "N" word in a song
on her recent album
and the black folks didn't think it was appropriate.
I saw some pre-show interview with her and Matt Lauer where she
hid behind the fact that
the guys who wrote the song for her were black. You'd think since she lived with P Diddy
for a year or two, she'd have some cred for being non-prejudiced against black people.
If anyone saw the Today Show this morning, could you send
some e-mail and let me know if J-Lo got a rice and beans shower?
...and also, wouldn't showering her with rice and beans be a racial slur?
A special message from Bob Barr
Subject: DASCHLE'S AFRAID OF ROVE, MCAULIFFE IS NOT
I think you were right to praise McAuliffe as
a tough partisan who isn't afraid to take on
the corrupt sleazebags that run this junta. The cherry on the sundae is none other than
the porcine Rove, a despicable character. Daschle is acting like the Dems we've all
come to know and love: whipped, scared, mealy-mouthed, prissy and uninsprired.
We need some people of McAuliffe's mettle in Congress but fast.
by Ellis Bacon, PhD
Getting it right, or, blame it all on liberal wording
And Fox News' conservative Bill O'Reilly, host of "The O'Reilly Factor," has no real equal
in modern talking head-dom. Perhaps MSNBC's Chris Matthews ("Hardball") has some of
the cultural pull of O'Reilly, but not the ratings, and his centrist (and fervently anti-Clinton)
politics are in no way a left counterpoint to O'Reilly's right point. Jesse Jackson, a genuine liberal,
has a talk show, too, but it has barely made a dent in the consciousness.
I guess this was drawn before Thursday...
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.