"Gasoline prices have plummeted for six
Now, wait a minute. I thought that the evil oil companies were going to
price gouge to make obscene profits during the summer driving season.
What went wrong here?"
-- the vulgar Pigboy (R-Lyingnaziwhore)
Gee, Rush, could it be that Congress announced an investigation
into oil profits,
oh, about six weeks ago?
Thanks to YB.
ignore Condit's faulty alibi
Falsely used as a Condit alibi -- and, she says, falsely smeared by the tabloids
-- an ABC News reporter is surprised she still hasn't heard from D.C. police.
Cooper has confirmed to Salon that she was the reporter who met with Condit at Tryst,
a restaurant/bar in the Adams Morgan neighborhood, in the late afternoon of May 2,
to discuss the California energy crisis as well as Condit's three meetings at the White House that week.
In a timeline drafted for the media, Condit
staffers subsequently and erroneously reported that meeting
as having taken place a day earlier, from 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. The error in the timeline certainly seems
significant, since it purportedly creates an alibi for Condit on the day that Levy was last heard from.
Tabloid World Sex carries the day
by my good friend Gene Lyons
Remember how Gore was portrayed as a ruthless Machiavellian who "would do anything to win?"
Remember how the GOP rolled out Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf to wave the flag over military absentee
ballots, and how Democratic vice-presidential candidate Joe Lieberman rolled over on his back and waggled
his little paws in the air?
Well, also courtesy of The New York Times,
it turns out that even as Judicious Joe was widdling on his belly,
Republican congressmen were enlisting and getting Pentagon help for an e-mail campaign urging late-voting
military types to raise hell about being "disenfranchised," a courtesy not extended to civilians.
...and the illegal takeover by the Bush Family Evil Empire can't get a headline.
Have you seen what Dave has been doing to Smirk for the last couple
They start out by saying they're going live to the White House.
Then Smirk comes on the screen, apparently waiting for the signal that he's on.
Dave starts talking to him.
"Mr. President, good evening. can you hear me?"
The whole time, Smirk is looking around the room, scratching his
(thank Koresh he's not picking it) looking like he needs a comic book.
Dave keeps talking to him, "Mr. President, can you hear me? Talk to me..."
...while Smirk is looking around, straightening his tie, etc.
Catch Dave tonight - he's been doing this every night, sometimes twice.
"The great thing about America is you
don't have to listen unless you want to."
- President Weak & Stupid
It's 1:08 CST as I write this.
Hannity has gone completely Clinton-cock crazy, as predicted.
The show starts here at 1:06, and Hannity has said "Clinton"
That's eleven times in three minutes.
He said "Monica" six times in three minutes.
It's all Clinton's cock all-the-time with Hannity and the vulgar Pigboy.
...that's almost like an "I told you so..."
Folks like you helped give The Guardian the courage to
keep pounding Barrick's butt!
Take a bow, Bartcop!
GUARDIAN TANZ. PAGE 1: BARRICK MINE DEATHS
Why is Greg Palast being sued by the Bush Family Evil Empire?
President Benjamin Mkapa inaugurates the Kahama Mining Corporation's
Bulyanhulu mines today but allegations of the killing of small artisanal miners
at the largest underground gold mining has resurfaced.
Allies of the Bush Family Evil
Empire have seized control of Earth's gold production.
If a few dozen miners die, and a few honest people get thrown from helicopters when they
try to blow the whistle on the Bush Family Evil Empire well, that's the cost of doing business.
Greg Palast wrote a story on this.
Instead of murdering Greg Palast, they're suing his newspaper.
Above all, the Bush Family Evil Empire must be protected.
...meanwhile, the American whore press is still chasing Clinton's cock, because that's important!
Losing our right to vote, so the boy king can be installed to
promote the Bush Family Evil Empire.
well, that's none of our business because Karl Rove said so.
I need a drink...
Subject: Birth Control pills in Schools
When you were filling in for Rush Limbaugh on
Monday (July 16, 2001) you made the statement that some
high schools are distributing birth control pills to students. This seems strange to me, considering that there
are no over-the-counter birth control pills in the United States, and (to the best of my knowledge) prescription
medications may only be dispensed legally by pharmacies, hospitals, and medical clinics.
Also, you failed to mention the name(s) and location(s)
of the school(s) that is/are doing this.
Since this/these school(s) is/are acting illegally, I would think that you would want to let the
proper authorities know about the lawbreaking.
But then again, you're probably just making the
whole thing up, aren't you?
After all, you do lie quite often.
Did you know Al Sharpton and a Kennedy are STILL in jail?
They were protesting the bombing in Puerto Rico.
They're putting their bodies on the line for a reason.
When has a Republican ever gone to jail to change a corrupt system?
The answer is never - whores don't like jail.
"I think we ought to go and find and produce
oil and gas wherever we can find it in America.'
-- Tom Delay (R-Squirrellybastard) last night.in Houston
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
Democrat Demands Rove Probe
If there are any Democrats in Washington with balls, it's the
The Senate Democrats are cowering in fear, shaking like bunnies.
Niki Taylor returns home
After a second stay in the hospital, supermodel Niki Taylor has
and returned to her home in Davie, Fla., her publicist announced Wednesday.
Taylor, 26, was riding in a car that crashed into a utility pole
in Atlanta on April 30,
leaving her with severe liver damage. Doctors at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta
treated Taylor's life-threatening injuries for eight weeks before releasing her June 26
to a private rehabilitation center.
Taylor was readmitted to Grady on July 6 to have fluid drained
from around her liver,
said her publicist. She was released from the hospital again today.
"Words cannot express the gratitude in my heart
for Dr. Jeffrey Nicholas and everyone
at Grady who worked so hard to save my life," Niki Taylor said in a written statement.
Taylor plans to begin physical therapy at home. Her publicist
said she also intends
to hold a celebrity benefit to raise money for Grady hospital.
Coke Bear says,
"You made it, Niki!"
How did Tim McVeigh really die?
Tim McVeigh (R-Governmentistheproblem) recently died.
Do you know what his official cause of death was?
Is a Freeper bothering you?
From: Rude Rich in NY
Subject: The Second Coming
What a fucking dork you are.
You tell me that Danny Gatton can't be any good on guitar because you never heard of him.
Then you proclaim you have a tape of the illegitimate son of Les Paul and Charo playing in your living room.
In fucking Oklahoma no less. Gimme a break.
Using your reasoning, I guess your boy has
the same management as Mariah Carey
...just can't get the music to the people. Maybe she should work in the paint store and give him her contract.
I suggest you go to your local music store and buy either of the two Gatton instructional tapes on sale
and compare your boy to him. I'll also bet your man knows who Gatton is.
Rich, the Drunken Dwarf
Rich, I didn't say your boy Gatton was no good - I've never heard
I have heard my guy, and I saw the other guitar player's jaws drop seconds after he began playing.
Thanks for offering to send me a tape of Mr. Gatton. (heavy sarcasm)
I noticed you didn't ask for a copy of my tape - which would prove
Perhaps ignorance is the gas in your engine?
...and what's with your Mariah Carey obsession?
She has more top hits than anyone in history except Elvis and the Beatles.
How does that prove she can't get her music to the people?
I agree Oklahoma is an old place for a guitar god to live,
but didn't the all-time greats come from the Mississppi Delta?
PS. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
NRA Opens branch office in Missouri
Matthew Toland loved seeing his father at his Little League games. His mother knew better.
Carmen Anderson saw her estranged husband,
Matthew Toland, arrive at a park on the city's north side
Monday night, and immediately screamed for young Matthew to hurry into the car.
He couldn't make it off the field in time.
The elder Toland opened fire, killing Anderson
and his 10-year-old son as other players and parents
fled for cover, police said. Matthew died at the scene, still wearing his black-and-gold uniform.
What is the GOP's answer?
More God, more guns and less education.
Pres W&S: Daddy, I'm so scared. My IQ is only 91,
and I don't understand what I'm doing.
Pres Arms Dealer:
That's OK, Son.
Just do what Karl Rove and Uncle Dick tell you.
You've seen that IQ story, right?
Check out our last two presidents.
182 William J. Clinton (D)
091 George W. Bush (R)
Clinton has twice the brain of Weak
& Stupid, yet W&S is getting twice the pay to screw up
the things Clinton fixed from 12 years of war and recession under self-serving Republicans.
BTW, who will help W&S write his memoirs?
Subject: Gran Centenario TEQUILA
I inadvertantly bought a bottle of the Gran
Centenario Anejo on my first trip to Mazatlan.
I was looking for a bottle of Patron on a friend's request, but they don't sell Patron (or Chinaco) in Mexico.
They are both made for export only.
The charming and gracious man behind the counter
tried his best not to laugh at the silly gringa who was
asking for Patron. Instead he gently explained to me that Patron was strictly an export, but if I wanted
a really top of the line luxury tequila, that was reasonably priced, to try his favorite, Gran Centenario.
He explained I could spend more, but still wouldn't get a nicer bottle. 100% pure blue agave.
I took him at his word, and after having a difficult
time figuring out how to open the damned bottle
(there was a special pour top), I remember it being smooth with lots of smoke and honey.
It was nicer than any tequila I had tried to date, and a MILLION times better than Patron.
Someday I'll try the Chinaco and the Centenario side by side for a real taste test....
Someday.... Centenario is not that easy to find here.
"I am frequently asked if I expected
this level of success ($285 million deal) and the honest
answer is yes. At least it was the goal, so why should I feign surprise when it happens?"
-- The vulgar Pigboy, claiming it was all in the plan.
Hey, Pigboy, why not use that money for some ego management classes?
Happy Birthday to Hunter S. Thompson (64)
"The Edge... There is no honest way to explain
it because the
only people who really know where it is are the ones who have
gone over. The others --- the living --- are those who pushed
their control as far as they felt they could handle it, and then
pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when
it came time to choose between Now and Later.
But the edge is still Out there. Or maybe
it's In. The
association of motorcyles with LSD is no accident of publicity.
They are both a means to an end, to the place of definitions."
-- HST '65
- In 1984: A gunman opened fire at a
McDonald's restaurant in San Ysidro, Calif.,
killing 21 people before he was shot by
- In 1989: Actress Rebecca Schaeffer,
21, was shot to death at her Los Angeles home
by obsessed fan Robert Bardo, who was later sentenced to life in prison.
Are the NRA offices closed for the holiday?
Subject: MUST READ!!
For all who don't have this sight bookmarked,
For your own sanity, do it now.
It's the best stories on the Smirk you'll find anywhere,
not to mention one of the very few honest ones.
And they have interactive sections as well, including
How much fun can those be?? (c;
Have you been to Bushwatch.com lately?
Koresh, he has a lot of information on just his front page.
Subject: Just a reminder of a revealing Smirk quote
As the "liberal media" sleeps through this administration, it might be prudent
to remind your readers just HOW Smirk gets away with his far-right policy madness.
He knows he can do whatever the hell he wants,
and the press will do for him
what they have always done for him... from the very start:
"You know I could run for governor, but Iím
basically a media creation
- Iíve never done anything."
- Dumbass 
(always worth reading again)
Shame, shame, shame on the American
whore press for propping up this idiot/fraud.
Read that Robert Parry piece (below) for further proof!
I have three words for you:
"Clinton, Monica, Intern"
How many times will Sean Hannity use those words today?
Hannity is going to spend three hours on Clinton's cock today.
He's going to use Chandra Levy as his excuse, but he doesn't give a goddamn
about Chandra levy or the torture her parents are going through.
All he wants to do is play with Clinton's cock.
He's going to use those three words over and over and over and
Do you know why?
Because those three words have nothing to do with Gingrich, Burton,
Barr, Chenoweth, Livingston and the other Republican scumbags.
He's going to spend three hours talking about how terrible it
"a Democrat takes advantage of an intern."
He's not going to rail against "congressmen who cheat on their
because that would include his law & order God-fearing Christian allies.
So he restricts his outrage to "Clinton, Monica and Interns."
It would be interesting to get an accurate count of how many times
Hannity says "Clinton, Monica or Intern," today because Hannity is nothing
but a partisan whore (why do you think Rush picks Hnnity to sub for him?)
and he doesn't give a goddamn about Chandra or her family's pain.
ONLY reason we ever heard about Monica is because Newt,
(who was screwing a staffer while cheating on his wife while trying to take down
a political enemy who was cheating on his wife) got together with Sentelle, Helms
and Faircloth to appoint crooked prosecutors who would use $100,00,000 of
our money to threaten everyone Clinton ever met with death in prison if they didn't
give Hardon Kenny something to attack Clinton with.
A year before the press agreed to write
about Gingrich, readers of bartcop.com
knew Newt was cheating on his wife because we broke the story in America
(as far as we can tell) that Newt was putting hotel charges with his whore on
his credit cards and the "liberal press" refused to write about it.
So when you hear hannity today go on and on and on and on and
on and on and on
about "Clinton, Monica and Interns," remember that he's only framing his attack that way
so he can shield his best friends who were doing the same thing Clinton was.
He's going to waste the the time of 4 million dittoheads by talking
when he could be rightfully attacking Condit for withholding valuable information
about the disappearance of a 24 year old "child" in Washington DC.
This was posted at 9:45 AM CST, before that shit Hannity went on the air.
Bugliosi's "The Betrayal of America"
Reviewed by Carla Binion for OnlineJournal.com
Bugliosi says the only reason no technical, true crime was committed by the five conservative justices,
is because "no Congress ever dreamed of enacting a statute making it a crime to steal a presidential election."
Nice work if you can get
it, Mr. Congressman
I don't know why we should be paying this bum's salary when all he is doing for the money
is working out at the gym, going for his morning jog, and trying out new pickup lines on flight
attendants and waitresses. I'm not at all suggesting that Condit had a hand in the disappearance
of Levy, or that he even knows where she is. She may very well be alive and living in France
and I certainly hope so.
Media Is the Mess
by Robert Parry July 17, 2001
From Election Night on, the conservative news media and much of the
mainstream national press granted Bush a sense of entitlement. This
pro-Bush tilt was a carryover from the campaign where the national
news mediaís distaste for Bill Clintonís vice president was a key factor
in helping Bush overcome a public impression that he lacked the
qualifications to be president.
Often relying on false Gore quotes or applying
hostile interpretations to
his remarks, the news media neutralized many of the doubts about Bush
by portraying Gore as dishonest or delusional. By contrast, deceptive
remarks by Bush and his running mate, Dick Cheney, were given a
virtual pass by both the conservative and mainstream news media.
[See "Protecting Bush-Cheney" at Consortiumnews.com]
I strongly recommend that your read this piece by Robert
Parry is the best - he doesn't waste a word.
Rush on Bewitched, 1967
'West Wing' holdouts return
Four stars of "The West Wing" who were holding out for pay raises
have returned .
Filming on the show's third season began Monday.
"They went to work and they are still negotiating in good faith," said publicist Pat Kingsley,
who represents Allison Janney, John Spencer, Bradley Whitford and Richard Schiff.
Each actor "makes in the $30,000 range" per episode and they want more, Kingsley said.
She wouldn't disclose financial details. Daily Variety reported last week that actors Martin Sheen
and Rob Lowe each make six-figure salaries per episode. They both showed up Monday.
team: Chandra was no angel
By suggesting the intern may have her own sordid past,
the congressman's spinners shoot themselves in the foot -- again.
From the moment Chandra Levy went missing, lawyers and spokesmen for Gary Condit have
often seemed more intent on sinking their boss deeper into hot water than helping him out of it.
Monday was no exception. In an apparent effort to push the media focus off Condit,
the congressman's spokeswoman, Marina Ein, is pointing reporters toward a resident
of Levy's apartment building who, according to Newsweek, has four arrests for assault.
And she also speculated that Chandra Levy has her own sordid sexual history.
Fans have to wait for 'The Sopranos'
HBO has announced that the next season of the mob hit show won't
air until June or possibly
September of 2002. The news comes as a shock to many fans who thought they'd only have
to wait until this fall for the critical loose ends of this season's finale to be resolved.
In an effort to cushion the blow to fans, HBO also announced it
will re-air all three previous
seasons of "The Sopranos" in widescreen format beginning Sunday, Aug. 12 at 8 p.m. ET.
Each episode will air in order for 39 weeks, with the marathon of repeats ending in mid-2002.
Don't make the mistake I made...
Estelle Warren, former model
"If you want fuller lips, don't go to Larry's Lips, Inc.
Insist on a qualified plastic surgeon."
Was it a coincidence that Condit's wife was in town when Chandra disappeared?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.