POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
||||
|
|
||||
|
Gene
Lyons
|
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 |
|
|
|
|
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT |
||||
|
|
||||
|
Gene
Lyons
|
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 |
|
|
|
Quotes
"We're going to re-group and come up
with some new strategery."
--The Taliban, riding their camels away from
Kabul
TV Talk
From: DanCarver@aol.com
Subject: 24
Thanks for turning me on to this show. I
never would have watched if not for your website.
The second episode was better than the first.
My wife and I were yelling conspiracy theories
at each other during the show..."She's the dirty
agent!"..."He's not dead!"etc.
Thanks again for notifying us about this show.
***WILD SPECULATION BELOW***
The mom is as much of a kidnap victim as her
daughter - she just doesn't know it yet!
DC
Dan, 24
seems to be this year's West Wing in terms of quality.
Well acted, well written, a real plot, not just horseshit,
it has suspense,
it has a sense of reality, and maybe the best thing about it is it
just doesn't suck.
At least two-thirds of the shows on TV suck really, really bad.
It's as tho the networks intentionally give us crap so they can take
the tax writeoff.
Last night, at the second hour we had Egoboy, NYPD Blue, 24
and the 200th Frasier.
We watched 24,
and taped Frasier and Egoboy Michael Jackson.
I'll write my review of the ego concert as soon as I see it, but until
then, consider this:
Hi, my name's, ...well, ...I don't have to introduce myself, cause I'm the King of Pop!
...uh, ...The King of Pop.
What do you mean, "What does that mean?"
It means I sell a whole lot of records.
Well, I used to sell a whole lot of
records, but then I had some zipper trouble.
No, ...no, they were young boys, but people just don't understand me, sometimes.
But I'm one helluva performer. Want to come
to my New York concert?
Tickets are just $5,000 each.
No?
Would you pay $2500?
How about $5?
Screw it, what if I get some network to show
just the very best parts of the concert?
Would you watch me then?
No?
What if I get N' Sync to play with me?
Wait, why are you laughing?
What if I get N' Synk and Britney Spears and
Destiny's Child and Whitney Houston??
Would you watch me then?
No?
But, I'm the King of Pop!
What if I get my brothers and Chimpy the Chimp
and McCauley Culkin and Liz Taylor?
No?
What if I get a morbidly obese Marlon Brando
to give a rambling speech about
cutting of children's extremities with a machete,
would you watch me then?
No?
[crying and whining]
I used to be a big star, but now I can't get
anyone to watch me even when
I have the biggest stars in the world onstage
with me.
I might just hang myself.
What?
You'll watch that?
From: (withheld)
I linked your site about a year ago, but
forgot to check in often.
In the wake of the jingoism after September
11 I needed to hear another voice that
wasn't praising George Dubious Bush to
the skies for his so-called achievements.
You have been that voice for me.
What's more, in reading your archives,
I feel better and better.
Keep fighting the good fight!
Catherine
Whoever did this - thanks - and send more.
Wait, you did send more - wow, those are great.
(Small, too, so I can publish them)
Send me an e-mail so I can give you credit.
Quotes
"It would be so much easier if this was
a dictatorship, so long as I was dictator."
-- The unelected and illegally appointed
George W. Bush,
ushering in
his own version of the 21st century.
SECRET TRIALS?
SECRET
TRIALS?
SECRET
TRIALS?
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's Cuba
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's North
Korea
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's Afghanistan
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's Libya
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's Iraq
Welcome to the Bush Family Evil Empire's ......vision of America's future.
We can't let them do this.
Line by line, we're losing the constitution, for
all we know, this war is about the Bush Family Evil Empire
screwing the bin Laden family on a dope deal
and Osama doesn't take a screwing laying down.
Fuck this secrecy.
Why can't we know what Bush is doing with our money in our name?
We're losing the Constitution because it's a secret?
I'd like to know why the Bill of Rights is being
suspended (or thrown away entirely)
It's martial law, and Ashcroft is the Marshall.
The following was in the Constitution when Clinton was president:
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions,
the accused shall enjoy the right
to a speedy and public
trial,
...but that no longer exists.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not on the terrorists side, but America's attorney
general is religiously insane,
and he believes that gays and liberals and negroes aren't "real" Americans,
so how long before Ashcroft
prays and comes to the conclusion we don't need public trials for "domestic
terrorists," either?
...and you still don't own a gun?
...and you nuts?
I have non-specific but credible evidence that the Bush Family
Evil Empire
is pulling off the greatest power-grab in history - and nobody
seems to care.
From: Quirk
we are under martial law now. it's just not officially announced.
they have not defined
"terrorist" yet, but one of the groups included is anybody
getting into anything
on the net they don't like. they put that specifically in the law.
when you enter the service,
you are no longer under the constitution. bring civilian cases to
a vastly different justice
system, puts us all under military law rules and regulations or they
couldn't apply that
justice system to people any other way.
this is as close as they
will declare us to being under martial law.
make no mistake it has
happened.
smirky now has his dictatorship.
question is how long
before the freepers figure it out?
or will they think it's
ok because it's the repuglithugs are heading it?
I have non-specific but credible evidence that George W Bush was
arrested for possession
of cocaine with intent to deliver, but his politically-connected
Daddy got the charges reduced
to where community service would erase everything but the American
press has been told
"That was in the past, and we have a
new tone, so don't ask about it."
From: (withheld)
Of course there's not a prayer (maybe this is
good time to test that
healing prayer theory) that Bush will actually
be impeached, but..
search
and seizure is out the window
right
to counsel and speedy trial is out the window
freedom
of assembly is out the window
freedom
of speech is hanging out the window
Freedom
Of Information Act is out the window
trial
by military court (I've been through that system and I'm always reminded
that
military justice is to justice
what military intelligence is to intelligence)
For the
first tax cut/stimulus package Bush gave away all the cows on the farm
to Big Corp
and The Insanely Wealthy;
and now for TC/SP II he wants to give them what's left of the farm.
But the Buscisti control the press and the House of Republicans, so it ain't gonna happen.
I told several people last December that Bush
had to win to keep the
Reagan-Bush I papers away from the public.
They laughed then.
My next out-of-my-ass prediction is that there
will soon be another trial balloon for suspending
next year's elections. When they sent Rudy's
"just a little longer" balloon off it stayed up in the air
for a couple of weeks. It won't be such
a shock this time to hear it.
Especially since we're only likely to hear from
people who support it.
Eric, I wish your note was a joke, but it's not.
Private trials is how they do things in North Korea, Cuba, Iraq, etc.
The Bush Family Evil Empire has succeeded in their takeover
Ashcroft can imprison anyone he wants - no lawyer, no arraignment.
Under the Bush Family Evil Empire, you can get life in prison
without a trial.
This is not America, at least it's not Clinton's America..
Christ, Reagan's wars and recesssions look like a picnic next to Smirk's Amerika
...but wait, I received a hysterically funny photo-toon from Kevin Cunningham.
Isn't that funny?
The idea that a Democrat might actually fight back?
I'm laughing, ...aren't you?
Try
This Recount Standard
By Marc Ash
Excerpt:
Still trying to figure out which recount
standard to apply? Try this one: Al Gore won Florida by
approximately 30,000 votes and there were
30,000 excuses for not counting then. From butterflies
that flew away, to the local Sheriff blocking
the road to the poll. The standard ultimately applied
in Florida was the Joseph Stalin Standard
'It is not he who casts the votes that
matters -- but he who counts the votes.'
Maybe 47% of Americans believe George W.
Bush won Florida but the rest of the world sure doesn't.
From: erikerlandson@yahoo.com
Tally Briggs made an interesting observation
via e-mail:
That it was strange for the news-consortium
to announce a *date*
on which they would release the results.
Why not just release them?
Was it so that it could be coordinated
with some other event?
Yeah, like an "accidental" plane crash in New York?
Reminder: Conspiracy theories are, by definition, wild.
But we're dealing with an unelected fraud who's Daddy ran the
CIA.
You don't think the CIA can bring down a plane if they want?
For total world domination, you think something as small as 10,000
lives would give them pause?
The Bush Family Evil Empire controls the world's gold,
the world's oil and the
US Treasury and the US military. (Not to mention
California's water rights)
They're going to be pretty goddamn hard to stop.
I have non-specific but credible evidence that George W Bush never
worked a day in his life.
Still hasn't.
More proof of the whore press
Monday, I heard Ann Compton (ABC News) saying the White House
was asked
if the New York plane crash (the most recent one) would stop
President Game Boy
from taking ANOTHER vacation. (Does the bastard ever work?)
The White House assured Compton that Bush would, indeed, go on
vacation
as scheduled, to which Compton replied,
"So the White House is wanting to show that
President Bush HAS
THE COURAGE to go forward with his vacation."
Can you believe that horseshit?
I heard it myself - don't try to say it didn't happen.
The never-did-a-day's-work in his life bungler gets points from
the whore press for
having the COURAGE to take ANOTHER vacation while New York is
still smoldering.
...and they impeached Clinton for what?
From: baconslab@baconslab.com
Subject: prayer and science
BC-
You're missing the point on the whole scientific study of prayer thing.
There have been numerous studies which conclusively
prove that prayer enhances health and
increases longevity. Whether it is a placebo
or not, the health benefits of faith are well documented.
Now here's the good part: All these studies also
indicate that IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT
THE FUCK YOU PRAY TO. No bonus for the magic
"J" word. So when a dittomonkey comes
onto with the scientific prayer argument, you've
got him right where you want him.
Science confirms Bartcopism and rips apart all the "My God can beat up your God" faiths.
Yours in Christ,
baconslab
But you knew that all along dincha?
Gens, you know me - never one to argue...
But surely you didn't mean what you wrote.
Perhaps you were enjoying some home brew when you wrote that?
If Jim prays, Jim might feel better, knowing God "heard" his prayers.
But no way Fred, in Ohio, will feel better if Jim prays for him,
unless Jim calls Fred and says, "I prayed
for you, do you feel better?"
"The health benefits of faith are well documented."
They are not well-documented at BartCop
Manor.
I've never heard of such a thing until this wacky pregnant-prayer thing
showed up.
We had a fun chat last night.
Julie Hiatt Steele's getting to be a regular.
The topic of the night was the dismantling of the Constitution.
I have non-specific but credible evidence that George W Bush committed
perjury
when he helped fix that Texas Funeral Home scandal, but his Daddy
stepped in and
convinced the state of Texas that it would be better if the claimant
making the charges
was to receive $210,000 so she would drop her claim and refuse
to talk about it.
From: jamie_flores@yahoo.com
Subject: Understanding Ashcroft Logic
Bart,
So, if I'm terminally ill and want to end my own
life legally (I live in Oregon),
I'm not allowed to because John Ashcroft says
I can't.
On the other hand, if I'm a right-wing nutcase
bastard who hates the government, blows up a federal office
building, gets caught, gets sentenced to death,
and then WANTS TO DIE SO I CAN BE A MARTYR
FOR THE RIGHT WING LUNATIC CAUSE - I CAN because
John Ashcroft says so.
So the solution seems to be for anyone living
in the United States of Ashcroft - if I'm dying of leukemia
and I want to end my own life legally, all I
have to do is go out and kill someone and get sentenced to
death. Then good ol' John Ashvorkian will
be more than happy to assist in my suicide?
Makes sense....if you're a right-wing religious nut.
Jamie
I have specific and credible evidence that in the winter of 1971,
George W Bush was gaving sex
with a teenager named Robin Lowman (now Robin Garner).
Miss Lowman became pregnant by him
and he arranged for her to have an abortion
- which was very illegal in Texas in 1971!
Miss Lowman's abortion took place at the Twelve Oaks Hospital
in Houston, which is now called
the Bayou City Medical Center. But we don't like to talk
about felonies committed by members
of the Bush Family Evil Empire because Mr. Rove doesn't
like it.
Click Here for more details
FOX Watch
Roger
(Ailes) and Me
by Jeff Koopersmith
Click Here for the vastly superior AMPOL original
Click
Here for the pitifully inept forever version
Jeff Koopersmith beats Fox News Chief (and Rush's old boss) Roger
Ailes
about the face and head while trading hysterical e-mails.
I have non-specific but credible evidence that George W Bush was
AWOL from his
National Guard unit for a year and a half because he was doing
massive amounts of
cocaine and screwing Mexican hookers while drunk on Jim Beam.
From: wrando@snet.net
Subject: join discussions
I would love to participate in the next chat with
Julie. Is this possible?
I'm registered as (withheld) on your forum.
thanks
Bill
Click Here for chat room get-into info.
Y'know, it's hard doing a comedy page when your country
is being taken over by a gang of ruthless fascist thugs.
So, the Constitution is taking a severe beating under Failure
in Thief.
Are we surprised? No.
War and recession, coupled with a denial on our constitutional
rights.
Who will try to rally the public?
Who will point out the daily abuses by the Bush Family Evil
Empire?
Who's going to save us from this nightmare?
The gelding Democrats?
They were timid bunnies BEFORE September 11th.
The American whore press?
They're a joke, shielding the snot-nosed kid at every theft and
every gaff.
What do we have left?
bartcop.com?
If that's so, we in trouble.
Support bartcop.com
The way things are going, it may be all we have left.
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
.Support
Bartcop.com
POBox 54466....
Tulsa,OK
74155
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
