...read by Homeland Security.
Hi, Tom!
Hi, Johnny!

POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE TEQUILA-VEGAS 
HUMOR-SPORTS-GARBAGE-ENTERTAINMENT


 
Diebold?

Why They Lied

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

 BartCop Store

New to BartCop?

Reagan was famous

The vote was rigged?

 BartCop Forum

Live CHAT


Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
 PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK  74155

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Back Issues
Bart Cook
BartCop Sports
BC Entertainment
Buzzflash
Demo U-Ground
 Contact us
Eric Alterman
Gene Lyons
Joe Conason
MediaWhoresOnline
Mike Malloy
Project 60
Smirking Chimp
Vegas Report
Your Ad Here
 

MORE LINKS

 

Volume 927 - Progress thru pain


click


 Tuesday    Nov 12, 2002 

 Quotes

''We will not permit a dictator who has used weapons of mass destruction
  to threaten America with chemical, biological or nuclear weapons
  This great nation will not live at the mercy of any foreign plot or power.''
    -- President Duncil
 

 George, tell us how to overcome domestic threats from a rich crime family!


 Media treats King George II like royalty

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
"Consider Tuesday night: 36 governorships were up for election. Only one contest mattered on TV,
 the re-election of Jeb Bush. Repeatedly, CNN broke to the White House for small details of how
 the president was reacting to network predictions of his younger brother's win. Shots of a proud
 Poppy brought in live coverage of his son's victory speech. The next hour featured a Jeb Bush interview...
 ...Bush II, through an array of considerations, blandishments and manipulation made over our nation's
  elite media from watchdog to lapdog."

 
 Gee, ...ya think?
 After two years, somebody noticed the obvious


 Election 2002
 Analysys by PBS's Bill Moyers

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 "...for the first time in the memory of anyone alive, the entire federal government the Congress,
 the Executive, the Judiciary is united behind a right-wing agenda for which George W. Bush
 believes he now has a mandate.  That mandate includes the power of the state to force pregnant
 women to give up control over their own lives.  It includes using the taxing power to transfer
 wealth from working people to the rich."
 


Hmmm, ...how did this Al Qaeda get on our airwaves?
We don't allow dissent anymore.
This is Field Marshall Ashcroft.
I need a secret torture chopper over at PBS HQ right away.
This Moyers fella needs a testicle massage - Ashcroft-style.



 Election will make life better -- for the rich

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Americans have just voted for a cartel economy, whether they realize it or not.
 They've reinforced the power of a corporate and political elite that serves itself first,
 and cares little for average people. Get ready for some dizzying times as the members
 of the crony-capitalism crowd - and the politicians they lead by the nose or who themselves
 are members of the club - run even more roughshod than usual over tradition and liberty.


 Subject: Bush Popularity

 If Bush is sooooo popular why are all his appearances carefully staged "by invitation only"?
 We need to ask this question to all the whores touting Dim Son's popularity.

 G. Powers



 Resistance!
   by Wayne Masden

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 For all those who, like me, feel that November 6,  2002 is much like December 13, 2000
 (Gore's concession speech) and September 11, 2001,]  it's time to stop the hand wringing
 and get to serious work to save this nation from certain disaster. But first, some background
 on families and conspiracies to commit crimes.

 ...when Bush was first told about the planes striking the World Trade Center and we all saw him
 nod his head as if he already knew and when he seemed more engaged in listening to a seven-year-old
 girl talk about her freaking pet goat, it all now makes sense.  He pushed the Taliban and they pushed back.
 For this Bush, this war would be worldwide, it would last forever. Unlike his Daddy, his popularity ratings
 would remain high, he would have political coat tails, and he would be re-elected.



 Quotes

"I have no greater responsibility than protecting the American people."
   -- President Pinhead on Veterans day
 

 Hey, Smirk!
 Just like in Texas, you hold the record for "most dead" on your watch.
 If your job is protecting America, you're the worst president in history.


 Subject: A National Disgrace

 I've already posted these sentiments to a couple of discussion groups, and
 responses from the right have been deafening in their silence.

 On arguably the most solemn national holiday we have, George W. Bush (R-AWOL),
 the only President in modern history to actually *advocate* initiating a war (and for the
 most transparent reasons), used his obligatory appearance at Arlington National
 Cemetery to do what?  Pay tribute to America's honored dead?

 No.

 He used it as an opportunity to promote his PRO-WAR agenda.
 He actually stood among the ghosts of America's fallen soldiers and continued his hard-sell
 to America of another war, insulting the memory of those who served, and trivializing the
 deaths of those who sacrificed their very lives for the sake of peace.

 Dismay and disgust aside, I seem to remember, not so long ago, a whole bunch of
 Republicans braying their outrage over the politicizing of a certain memorial service.

 Where's that outrage today?

 Clave in Seattle

 
 As long as the good puppy press follows Mr. Rove's orders,
 the only outrage you'll be able to find is on the internet or overseas.



 Dirt on Nader

 The dirty laundry list on Nader includes the following topics:
 a HUGE hypocrite -- just another politician -- Anti-democratic authoritarian
 -- secret luxury house -- owned by the trial lawyers' lobby -- busted a union
 among his workers -- abuses workers -- amassing millions of dollars and playing
 the stock market with it -- secrecy and stonewalling -- vindictive toward critics
 -- forced "contributions" to his college PIRG groups -- hypochondriac

 for more Click  Here  and  Click  Here  and  Click  Here

 It's also worth noting that, when he ran for president in 1996, Nader refused to file
 the financial disclosure forms required by law, only did so reluctantly in 2000, and then
 filed them late, after having gotten an extension of time from the FEC.
 You can find the Ethics in Government Act disclosure if you  Click  Here

 Thanks to all who sent links


Some people hang a wreath,
and some people hang a referee...


According to Yahoo News, this is
Joe Paterno's front door in State College, PA


 Subject: bart cop

 Sir,
 I was losing faith in the people of America before I read your article on Paul Wellstone.
 Thank God (no definition) there are still good people striving for honest democracy.

 My sincere condolences to all Americans who grieve the loss of a true American patriot.

 Wal Cooper
 Australia.


 Today in History

 November 12, 1997:
 Ramzi Yousef was convicted in New York of masterminding
 the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center.

 History must be lying.
 Rush and Hannity and every whore at Fox News says Clinton never took any action.
 They've put their reputations on the line that Clinton "allowed" them to go unpunished.

 Why is history lying to us?
 

 November 12, 1992:
 In his first formal post-election news conference, President-elect Clinton
 presented a detailed blueprint for action once he took office and promised
 his administration would have the strictest ethical guidelines in history.

 ...and he delivered - want proof?

 (Say yeah!)

 Click  Here



 


 Subject: Roger Hedgehog - Convicted Felon

 bc:
 
 Just in case you didn't already know, Rush's sanctimonious (not to mention felonious)
 scumbag fill-in friend, Hedgehog, was convicted on both conspiracy and perjury charges
 and forced to resign as mayor back in the 80's.
 
 'Ol Roger sure has got a lot of nerve talking smack about Bill Clinton (not convicted,
 not forced to step down) with his criminal record and shameful resignation but that's
 typical of the pious repugnicans.
 
 Read more of the lurid details here

 Take care,
 Dave



HP CEO Carly Fiorina and HP President Mike Capellas hold up HP logos
after sucessfully getting one of their printers to work with Windows XP.
Afterwards, they bought cars for the senior staffers to celebrate.


 Subject: Thank you!!!!!

 Dear Bart-
 Thank you for the beautiful Veterans Day issue with the picture of Betty Grable at the end.
 My 80-year-old father was wounded at Guadacanal and still has shrapnel in his left arm
 and shoulder that sets off security alarms at airports.

 You have become my number one favorite site.
 
 Karen B
 
 
 Karen, thanks.
 I was too sick to come to work yesterday, (the file was at work) so I was unable to post this.

 Veterans Day
  by Christopher Brian Eargle

  Click  Here


 In Remembrance

  Click  Here


 Quotes

"A new regime would bring deliverance to Iraq's citizens.
   -- President Quayle for Brains, Veterans day
 

 But George, the Iraqi people have already been bent over a log.



 The Best of bartcop.com

 I got an e-mail from Toni asking what we had planned for upcoming Issue 1000.
 She suggested a "Best Of" issue with the bits from the past 925 issues, and she volunteered
 to receive, colate and compile the best stuff from waaay back when  bartcop.com  was funny.

 If you saw a good or funny piece send the name of it and the issue # it was in to Toni at

bartissue1000@yahoo.com

 If you want your name listed (or not) mention that to her, too.


 Report: Sperm Quality Poorer in Rural Men

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Men who live in rural parts of the United States have poorer sperm quality
 than men in urban areas, a new study contends, and farm pesticides may be to blame.
 

 Is that why Smirk & Snarl carried all the rock & coyote states?
 

  Serious sidebar:
 I heard a report that young black women are experiencing puberty nine months sooner than
 their counterparts twenty years ago. That's scary as hell, and I'm pretty sure about those numbers.
 If that trend continues, in 100 years, girls will be in puberty four years earlier than today.

 Of course, the poison Bush's friends are pumping into the environment CAN'T be a factor,
 so George should conitnue to accept those multi-million dollar bribes from Monsanto because,
 after all, millions of pregnant nine-year olds wouldn't be a problem - would it?


 

  November 12, 1942
 US Marines on Guadalcanal surround Japanese forces along the Gavaga Creek, killing 450 enemy soldiers.
 6000 men from the Americal Division reinforce the US forces on Guadalcanal.

 Click  Here  for more


  So tacky and sensational, it could only be from a Drudge link
  'Royal Rapist' servant is named

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 Charles is said to be "shattered" and "in deep despair" after being told that his
 ex-valet Mr Smith had gone on record claiming he had been raped.
 His claims are said to be contained in the so-called "rape tape" made by Princess Diana.
 

 In a related story:
 Rupert Murdoch,  Fox News owner and the biggest false-story producer in the world,
 was hospitalized for what London doctors described as a "serious case of the giggles."
 Doctors were unable to get the old codger under control at press time.



Bush gets head from Ari


 Stars risk popularity for politics
 A collection of lies and horseshit by Michael Medved (R-slut)

  Click  Here
 

 Y'know, we expect lies from Rush, Hannity, George Will, Tim Russert ad nauseum
 but I hate it when these "moralistic" whores like Medved, Laura and Bill Bennett spew their loads.
 They act like they're not "in the ring," they're just "nuetral observers" just giving us "the facts."

 This Medved slimeball is such a liar and a fraud.
 He says Barbara Streisand has embarrassed herself and Oliver Stone and Alec Baldwin have hurt
 their careers by speaking out on Democratic issues. He says West Wing ratings are down because people
 don't like my good friend Martin Sheen's activism, but as always, it's a clumsy lie told by a huckster.

 Lets check the careers of Hollywood's elite-right to see how their careers are doing:

 Magnum - take away his gig five years ago on Friends, and what's the former Marlboro Man done lately?
 Shannen Doughtery - take away Jay and Silent Bob - have you seen her lately?
 Major Dad - always at the top of everybody's want list.
 Drew Carey - his show was renewed because last-place ABC is in deep trouble
 Chuck Heston - for those of you under 50, he used to be a Reagan-caliber actor
 Bruce Willis - granted, gets some work
 Bo Derek - not much work lately for the perrenial Oscar winner (that's mean - I'm sorry)
 Marilyn Manson - always a crowd pleaser for the Evangelical Christians
 Ted Nugent - isn't he playing birthday parties now?
 Phillip Morris - who's famous for killing more people than Bush
 Arnold Black Plowman - hasn't had a hit since when, ...1992 with T-2?
 The Oak Ridge Boys - are they still a group?
 Johnny Morris - world champion bass fisherman; (ha ha, I have no shame)
 Rosie the Whore - recently lost her talk show, her magazine, her credibility and her fan base
 Pat Boone - who had last had a hit record in 1961
(By the way, I have nude pictures of Doherty, Derek, Willis, Arnold and Boone,
 and pictures of Magnum in white short pants, which may be even worse).

 So it looks like Mikey might by lying.

 Hey, Mikey - why are you such a whore?
 Why can't you tell the truth?
 Are you, ...like, ...stupid or something, Mikey?

 Why did you try to build an argument with no foundation?
 Is this your first attempt at persuation, Mikey?
 Is Scaife paying you to lie like a Riyahdi rug?


 Why Democrats Are Losing
    by Todd Badmitten

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 While it may be true that Democrats could have run a more spirited campaign, the truth is
 that the deck was stacked against them from the very beginning, and has been for years.
 The Democrats certainly had a message but it was repeatedly tainted, diluted, and
 misrepresented to the voters by the most powerful influence in American politics today:

 The media.



 Quotes

 "Clinton was not magic. Clinton was a huge, huge drag on his party."
     -- Rush (R-Truth Molester) explaining why Clinton was the only
         Democratic president to serve two four-year terms since WWII



November ad special

 Ten ads for just $300

 You can have every Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
 ...and weekends are half-price!

 Don't wait, first come, first served.
 Reach dozens with your message.


 Subject:  Personally attacked by Tony Lauinger
  my good friend Lori Cain, Tulsa Democrat has been attacked

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Out of the six-page newsletter, I was the only non-candidate mentioned. Of course, they attacked
"pro-abortion" candidates Doug Dodd, Laura Boyd, Drew Edmondson, and Brad Carson, but the
 candidates didn't get near the coverage or space devoted to them that I did.



 Beltway Rumor

 Heard at a trendy Republican saloon:

 First right-to-lifer: "That KellyAnn Fitzpatrick really gets around, if you know what I mean..."

 Second right-to-lifer: "No, what do you mean?"

 First right-to-lifer: "After 'dating' Fred Thompson - she changed her name to KellyAnn Fitz-everyone."

 Second right-to-lifer: "Is that why she lists 'pollster' on her resume?

 First right-to-lifer:  "ha ha"



 Suffering Suffrage!
   by Daniel Patrick Welch

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bucking demographic, historic and economic trends, this election result is an anomaly, an obvious,
 logical reaction to the fear instilled by the events of last September. It needn't have been so, and
 quite arguably wouldn't be without the fomenting of Bush and his henchmen storming the country
 shouting 'boo' at every turn, flat out lying about Iraq and al-Qaeda and bashing the U.N. It has
 been Halloween all year for this cabal, and it's only getting scarier.



Marty always has good stuff!


 Swear to Koresh, I was on Google trying to find a picture of Ann Coulter,
 ...a picture where her skirt actually covered her kootie, and I ran across this:

 ha ha



Bush promised to get bin Laden.
He vowed "to bring him to justice or bring justice to him."
That's why his approval numbers went to the high eighties.
That was 415 days ago ...and counting



 bartcop.com  is worth $25 a month

 bartcop.com  is not worth $25 a month, because it needs more __________.

us with your suggestion for a better  bartcop.com

 Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.

 Click  Here  to donate large.


 Did you see Sunday's Sopranos?

 

 It was so real, so gutteral, it was probably the most nervous TV I ever saw.
 When Tony slugged Ralphie, and Ralphie charged back...
 It just HAD to be a fight to the death.

 Tony weighs 265, Ralphie is maybe 165 dripping wet.
 Under different circumstances, I'd applaud Ralphie's gonads.
 If Tony was there to take his wife or his kids, you have to fight to the death.
 But they were fighting over a horse.   (You had to be there.)

 It might've been the best fight I've ever seen.
 The punch - the hot skillet - the kick to the balls - the knife - the can of RAID!
 You talk about product placement!
 Everyone knows what RAID smells like.
 The idea of having it sprayed in your eyes during a life-and-death struggle is so f-ing real!

 Tony eventually realizes all he has to do is cover Ralphie with his weight and it's over.
 Now Ralphie's dead, so it's time to call Christopher and ask him to come over with rubber gloves,
 a gallon of bleach, some heavy-duty lawn bags and a really sharp meat cleaver.

 They chop Ralphie into four pieces (five counting his toupe) and carry him to the car.
 As they're walking toward the cliff to dump his handless, headless body in the ocean,
 Tony explains to Christopher that he's throwing his life away by doing drugs all the time.

 ha ha

 Then they throw their old friend Ralphie's weighted-with-chains body into the depths.
 Even I could see the symbolism.

 One guy called Sunday's Sopranos, "one of the most memorable hours in TV history."
  If you're not watching this show, you're missing out.

 Click  Here  for more on Ralphie's departure.



 What is it?

  An illustrated collection Bushisms
"Wisdom from America's 43rd President"

 How much does it cost?      $9.50

 Can you give two examples?

"...I've been talking to Vicente Fox, the new president of Mexico... I know him...
  ...to have gas and oil sent to U.S.... so we'll not depend on foreign oil..."
     first Presidential debate, Oct. 03, 2000."

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself,
  but for predecessors as well."
   Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

 How can I get a copy?     Send check or money order for $9.50 to:
 Anton Mkrtychev     PO BOX 8364  Minneapolis, MN 55408

 For more details - contact  thewritingraven@yahoo.com



for more Pieman, visit pieman.org




Ho...                 ho...                  ho!

Doing some Christmas shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw  bartcop.com  a nickel.

Search Now:
 
In Association with Amazon.com


 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2002, bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


                      shrl
 



 
 
 
 
Privacy Policy
. .