...read by the Justice Department
PayPal to email@example.com
PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155
"...who, besides Carville and me, is going
the Democrats back from the political wilderness?"
--Paul Begala, Crossfire, 11/07/02
Suspect C.I.A. in Bali Blast
by Jane Perlez for the NYWTimes
The perception among many of the educated elite in this largely moderate Muslim country
is that it was not, as the United States has suggested, a radical Islamic group with links to
Al Qaeda. Instead, they blame the CIA. Some have argued that the United States prompted
the Bali attack as a way of prodding Indonesia to join a possible war against Iraq.
Well, we know that can't be true.
Greedy men,. no matter how evil, would never commit murder to take over the world.
Keep it up, Funnyboy!
Your time is coming...!
by William Rivers Pitt
The day bullets flew in Dallas and virtually tore President Kennedy's head from his shoulders was worse.
The day a bullet ripped through the throat of Martin Luther King, Jr. was worse. The day Robert Kennedy
won the California primary and was rewarded with a bullet in the head was worse. The day a partisan
Supreme Court defied constitutional law to appoint a President who had not carried the vote was worse.
The day commercial airplanes slashed the blue sky with ash and woe was worse.
There have been worse days, but not many.
Quotes that make me sick
"At each pivotal moment, President Bush has
chosen a course of moderation
and deliberation. I believe he will continue to do so... This resolution and the
president's words make it clear that the administration's objective is to disarm
Iraq, that's its rationale is to enforce Iraq's obligation to the United Nations,
that its determination is to work with others, not alone. And the president has
made it clear that was is neither imminent or inevitable."
-- Senator Joe Biden, (D-Name Only)
I guess Biden is running for president, too?
Where does it say you have to give the enemy Monica to run for president?
Subject: USA -- conservative or just lazy?
Is the US a conservative country? Maybe,
maybe not. But as the recent
Daily Brew article pointed out, the US is definitely a deluded country.
Because our enemies control the mass media, and
because most of us waste several
hours each day consuming the mass media, the brains of America have been thoroughly
pickled in a cesspool of right-wing propaganda.
I never watch TV. I don't subscribe to a
newspaper. So I'm immune to the
right-wing propaganda machine. Plus, I've got more time to advance my career,
maintain my health, and correspond with friends.
The fundamental problem we must confront, if we're
to triumph in Civil War II,
is that most of us are lazy bastards who would rather sit on our fat asses being
entertained than do something useful with our lives. Thinking, dreaming, creating,
growing, exploring -- they're all just too much work.
If we can't think of a way to get people to turn
off their TVs and turn on their brains,
then the next best solution is to take over the mass media. But that's going to take lots
of money, and Bartcop's got to struggle just to get a few $5 and $10 subscriptions.
Keep hangin' in there, BC.
I will continue hammering.
A good friend of mine is printing private e-mails between John Fund and Matt Drudge.
Plus, you gotta click on "more
tapes" to hear recorded phone calls
between the woman-beater and the woman who had him arrested.
Listen to the weasel squirm!
I'm John Fund.
I'm a weasel.
I beat women - got any?
Ten ads for just $300
You can have every Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
...and weekends are half-price!
Don't wait, first come, first served.
Reach dozens with your message.
could the Democrats have lost last Tuesday?
by Carol B
The Democrat base is still ticked off about 2000.
All glitches favored Republicans.
The economy is in the toilet, and the people are feeling it.
The current administration is itching to plunge us into WWIII
Quotes that make me sick
"We're ready to go to work. As I've said to
others, `Let's roll.' "
--Trent Lott, (R-Whites only) once again senate majority leader
The Best of bartcop.com
I got an e-mail from Toni
asking what we had planned for upcoming Issue 1000.
She suggested a "Best Of" issue with the bits from the past 925 issues, and she volunteered
to receive, colate and compile the best stuff from waaay back when bartcop.com was funny.
If you saw a good or funny piece send the name of it and the issue # it was in to Toni at
If you want your name listed (or not) mention that to her, too.
Devil Made Me Do It
How the Religious Right get led around by their noses
by Bryan Zepp Jamieson
“You know the peace symbol?” she asked.
I reckoned I did. It was a major part
of my life in the late sixties and early seventies, and as Putsch careens
toward a war in Iraq, it’s starting to become a prominent part of the American psychic landscape once again.
“Sure. What about it?”
“It’s a broken cross. It’s the sign of devil worship.”
12 Nays of Christmas
by Merrill Lynch
Does Merrill Lynch have any confidence in Bush?
I'm not saying it's great writing, but this story's been in my
head for weeks
and it feels great to finally get in down on paper or whetever this is called.
Was it fixed from the start?
I was just thinking the same thing. As you
know, I had been working on the campaign of Anne Summers for the 5th
congressional district in New Jersey. Polls just prior to the election showed her in a dead heat with her opponent.
At 9 pm while watching the numbers come
in I saw her losing 33% to 63%, and it stayed at that exact same
percentage for the entire night! How could that be? Btw We use touch screens here.
You'd think at least someone could run a comparison of touch-screen
races to non-touch
just to see if the tough-screens had a higher pertcentages of "miracle wins" for the GOP.
Does Shirley Manson read bartcop.com?
She did her Orlando concert in a pink tutu!
Thanks for saying Hi, Shirl!
Roger Hedgehog is a lying whore
I heard him on the EIB Friday, while Rush was taking another vacation day.
"Because of Clinton's lack of character, George
W. Bush has to work extra hard to get our
allies to the point where they can trust the word of the president of the United States again.
All through the nineties, Clinton's lack of backbone and carelessness with America's reputation
caused a lot of trouble with allies such as Saudi Arabia. The reason the Saudis can't get on-board
this war with Iraq is because they're afraid we might attack Saddam, and merely wound him,
and then abandon them again like we did in Desert Storm."
How do you like that?
Bill Clinton ran Desert Storm in 1990 and 1991? Did you know that?
It's kinda strange when they let the governor
of Arkansas command our armed forces.
But then again, Clinton ordered the FBI to murder Randy Weaver in the summer of 1992 - just ask Rush.
This is why they can't have guests
on the show, because a guest would say,
"Hey, you ignorant moron - Poppy Bush was the Commander in Chief who pussied out, not Clinton."
this were a dictatorship...
by Samuel Gish
G. W. Bush has abused the office of the President to cement his dictatorship, by using taxpayer dollars
to campaign shamelessly for Congressional races. He devoted time and energy to wooing big corporations
and big donors, telling them that he'll get his tax cut for the rich made permanent, he'll gut environmental
laws and make sure that no one complains.
It might make you too angry to finish ready today's page, which
would be a shame,
but you need to see this and make up your own mind.
Marty always has good stuff!
- The Final Solution
by Ken G
We know this is coming. Rumsfeld, the FBI and CIA have already told us this. And when it comes,
Bush and Ashcroft will suspend habeas corpus, and declare Martial Law. Ashcroft and Rumsfeld
will be more then willing to "detain" any unpatriotic Americans that resist the new B.F.E.E. order.
I got a letter from a lady who used to live in Croatia.
I asked if she had any stories to tell.
Subject: Stories on Croatia, i guess are old news
My husbands family's home and village were
destroyed by Serbs during the war in 1991.
Things are pretty good there now. Clinton did the right thing in Kosovo.
It takes years to understand what happened in the former YU.
Anything you and your readers would like
to know about anthrax though i may be of some help.
I used to work at fort Detrick in Frederick, MD during the Gulf war. I was hired to produce
anthrax vaccine on a DoD contract. the army sank millions into our production plant and just
about when we were ready to go on line, the war ended and Poppy cancelled the contract.
Now they are short on vaccine.
My boss went to Iraq with Unscom on a fact
He was certain they were making anthrax spores but no real proof.
Dont know the guy who is currently under suspicion.
He worked at USAMRIID (army infectious diseases). Very secretive building.
V, thanks for that.
Subject: Afghan war faltering, Gen Myers says
Nov. 8 - The U.S. military is losing momentum in the war on terrorism in Afghanistan
because the remnants of al Qaeda and the Taliban have proven more successful in adapting
to U.S. tactics than the U.S. military has to theirs, the chairman of the JCS said this week.
It sure is convenient that this story didn't come out before the election.
After all, an informed electorate can be much harder to fool.
Bush promised to get bin Laden.
He vowed "to bring him to justice or bring justice to him."
That's why his approval numbers went to the high eighties.
That was 414 days ago ...and counting
Institute of Policy Study's analysis of the latest UN resolution.,
by master filmmaker Kent Bye
The bar is set so high that Iraq will have to reject it and face an American invasion.
This is about regime change and not about Weapons of Mass Destruction otherwise
we'd be doing the same thing to North Korea.
bartcop.com is worth $17
bartcop.com is not worth $17 a month, because it needs more __________.
us with your suggestion for a better bartcop.com
Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
Click Here to donate large.
Bush Says Iraq Faces 'Final Test'
Will Saddam take the test or, like W at
will he send someone to take it for him?
What is it?
An illustrated collection of about 250
"Old and New Bushisms:
One of the Most Complete Collections of Wisdoms from America's 43rd President".
How much does it cost?
Can you give some examples?
"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call
it hemispheric in nature
because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
— Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
"If affirmative action means what I just described,
what I'm for, then I'm for it."
— St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000
"You teach a child to read, and he or her
will be able to pass a literacy test.''
— George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001
How can I get a copy?
Send check or money order for $9.50 to:
PO BOX 8364
Minneapolis, MN 55408
For more details - contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Are you planning to do any quest appearances
on "The Mike Malloy Show" in the future?
Thanks for your time!
I'm paying my boss for a week off in December.
I'm going to scream some rants into a microphone and test BartCop Radio.
I can't post it, because the sound file will be too big,
so I plan it to e-mail it to every subscriber.
Wish me luck.
...and I'd like to go back on Mike Malloy, if he'd have me.
I'd like to go on really angry about something, maybe after a few shots :)
"If Jennifer Lopez could write songs like Fiona
she wouldn't have to spend all those hours in the gym."
-- Shirley Manson
for more Pieman, visit pieman.org
I was hoping you would run your Veterans rant from Issue 96.
Do not worry about it being from your "blue" period
what you said was
exactly what needed to be said.
I also found it interesting that you mentioned
the police and the firefighters
long before the "Ditto's, Monkeys and Freepers" took up their side.
How can the right wing possibly explain what they
have done, taking away of
benefits etc, to the those two groups and the veterans when they do not need them?
Anyway, as a veteran, I once again thank you for
your support of the us regular guys who did
the jobs that we signed up to do. We may not have always liked what we were doing or where
we were but at least most of us were responsible enough to live up to our end of the contract.
In closing I have a request - Please remind your
readers that if they know a veteran to thank them
for their service to the country. The vet will appreciate the sentiment even if most will try to say
that they were only doing their jobs.
Thanks in advance.
No-Dak, sure thing. We owe our vets a lot.
It's Veterans Day
You'll need to excuse my language on this next piece, because I'm not
a very good writer,
and sometimes I resort to profanity when I don't have the proper words to express myself.
I wish I was more eloquent.
Since 1941, over 100,000 Americans have died fighting our wars. We can
argue the mission
and the tactics, but we can't debate the courage of the men and women who fought and died.
Is there a more anguished sound than bagpipes at Arlington Cemetery on Veterans Day?
No matter who was president, no matter which war, no matter what the
mission, if you went
into harm's way for your country, America owes you, and your widow and children, BIG time.
Same for policemen and firefighters.
I have a war story for you.
It was D-Day, June 6th, 1944 on the beaches of Normandy.
As the final echoes of German machine-gun fire faded,
thousands of wounded Americans were rushed to hospital ships.
Soldiers in two-man teams had the worst job:
Picking up the dead, and putting their bodies on flatbed trucks.
One guy grabbed the hands, the other guy grabbed the boots.
"Get them in the truck, move as fast as you can," they were told.
This one team was moving down the beach, loading body after body.
Bodies on top of bodies - pieces of bodies - parts. They grabbed the next body - and they heard a sound.
A soldier they thought was dead was somehow still alive. Much of his mid-section had been shot away.
Minutes from death, he looked up at them, gasping for air, and said "...not...yet..."
He was looking at a picture of a girl.
The dying soldier was staring at her picture, waiting to die, wondering
what might've been, knowing he'd
never see her again, knowing that he'd never get to live his life with her, never get to have children together
or raise a family. A minute later, he was gone, and they put his body on the truck.
He was eighteen.
If you know a veteran, give him or her a break.
If that's too much for you to handle,
if you think veterans have it too easy,
if you think veterans should take a cut in benefits,
if you think veterans should stop "whining,"
I want you to do three things for me:
Get off my subscriber list,
Go fuck yourself,
Go to your local VFW Post, find
a "lucky" old veteran who
only lost an eye or a hand or a leg, and explain it to him.
...a shot of Chinaco
Anejo for our men in uniform.
Ho... ho... ho!
Christmas shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2002, bartcop.com
Betty Grabel - for the WWII veterans