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Cinco de Mayo Weekend May 4-7, 2007 Vol 1972 - Royal Monkey
Thanks to Mo Paul  Quote of the Day "People don't understand how it can be
What Dana means is - when she refuses to
|
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
|
Quotes
"Research into Stone Age humans now argues
that far from having intercourse
simply to reproduce, they had sex for
fun. One thing we know for sure, folks,
and that is this: Stone Age sex toys
were cordless."
-- the vulgar Pigboy, trying
to be funny
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Tenet's
Disgrace
by Ray McGovern
Excerpt:
On "60 Minutes," Tenet explained what he meant
when he uttered "slam dunk" - the words he says
have now been distorted to blame him for the
war in Iraq. What he says he meant was simply:
"We can put a better case together for a public
case." (sic)
Tenet still doesn't get it. Those of us schooled
in the craft and ethos of intelligence remain in wide-mouthed
disbelief, perhaps best summed up by veteran
operations officer Bob Baer's recent quip:
"So, it is better that the 'slam dunk' referred
to the ease with which the war could be sold?
I guess I missed that part of the National Security
Act delineating the functions of the CIA - the part
about CIA marketing a war. Guess that's why I
never made it into senior management."
Tenet got his "Heckuva job" Medal of Freedom for keeping quiet about
the Neo-con's plans.
Does this mean he has to give the medal back?
He told Tom Brokaw he didn't resign if protest because,
"I had a job to do."
If we was ordered to herd Jews into railroad cars, would he still "have
a job to do?"
If a fake war for personal greed isn't worth resigning over - what is?
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Hillary's
F-ing Business
How has this crookess stayed out of prison? - by Greg
Palast
Excerpt:
Sam Walton called Hillary, "My little lady."
Sam paid her an eyebrow raising sum for a director - equal to
60% of her entire not-insubstantial salary as
a lawyer. By contrast, Wendy Diaz (her real name), a 13-year-old
in Honduras, was paid 25 cents an hour to make
shirts for the "little lady's" label.
Hillary's rake-in was made possible by Wal-Mart's
100% union-free operation and out-sourcing of 100%
of its manufacturing, some to prison factories
in China. Now, you could say that Hillary couldn't hear the
screams of the kiddies in Kamp Wal-Mart in
Honduras.
Hillary is pure evil.
She's worse than the BFEE and the terrorists combined.
Palast is gonna shit when she takes the oath.
.
Send
e-mail to Bart
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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Subject: your Hillary problem
Excerpt:
She is divisive. She is self-absorbed.
She has a bad image.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
God's Wrath
in Kansas
And their National Guard is in Iraq
"It looks like Hiroshima," said one of God's victims.
Excerpt:
Rescue crews on Sunday combed piles of debris
where homes and businesses
once stood in Greensburg, Kansas, in a meticulous
search for survivors of a killer tornado.
By nightfall searchers had not found anyone else
-- alive or dead -- in the rubble, leaving the
twister's toll at eight dead in Greensburg and
one dead in nearby Pratt County as a result of
Friday night's twister. At least 50 people were
injured, some critically.
Some 90 percent of the businesses and homes in
Greensburg, a town of about 1,800,
were damaged or destroyed when the mile-wide
tornado and winds of 165 mph ripped through.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Quotes
"Our Homeland Security is run by the religiously
insane.
These people - who we trust with our
lives - have a panic attack
if they get a two-second glance at Janet
Jackson's titty."
-- Lewis Black
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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Cruise the Mexican Riviera with Mike & Kathy Malloy!
Hurry! Cabins are selling out!
Subject: Sheryl Crow
Bartcop:
You were wrong, just admit it.
Don't bluster. You sound like a repug.
I think you should wear the Pink Tutu,
cause you didn't know it was a joke,
and you didn't fight back
against the Reich-Wing Sound Machine.
You threw in the towel.
Kapps
Tustin, CA
When you say I was wrong, you're making one of two claims:
Sheryl didn't say what she
said,
or
She said it, but no harm
was done to the movement.
Which way would you like to argue that?
If, every time a Democrat does something self-destructive, I'm "throwing
in the towel,"
I'd better order a shitload of towels.
And yep, I figure that's how I'll be remembered:
He didn't fight back
against the Republicans.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
France elects
Monkey
Is it OK to use mustard again?
Excerpt:
The win gave Sarkozy a strong mandate for his
vision of France's future: He wants to free up labor markets,
calls France's 35-hour work week absurd and plans
tougher measures on crime and immigration.
"The people of France have chosen change," Sarkozy
said in a speech that sketched out a stronger global role
for France and renewed partnership with the United
States.
America's Murder administration welcomed Sarkozy's
election as an opportunity to strengthen relations with France.
"We certainly look forward to cooperation with
the fags, I mean the French," snorted Tony Snow with a giggle.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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Quotes
"Anyone stupid enough to join the military
...ought to be able to."
-- Bill Hicks,
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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Subject: Gas-out chain letter
Hiya Bart, longtime reader without the option of paying just yet.
I write is to help you keep ahead of the idiots
that pretend they're saving the world
by not buying gas for one day. I found
this on Snopes.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/gasoline/nogas.asp
If people wanted to help, they'd all write their
congressmen and demand alternative fuel,
like hydrogen, be granted a large amount of money
for research. Or selling their SUV and
buying something a little fuel efficient would
hurt oil profits enough for someone to take notice.
Keep swinging, brother.
Bhrett
I don't think oil companies care if you fill up on Tuesday or Wednesday.
They have a monopoly and they gouge because they can.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Check out dissentisterror.com
Bart vs the Priest - Part One
Slur and
Outrage
Other Watergate hero turns whore
Excerpt:
All you ever read about Hillary is how the American
electorate hates her, and yet the only reason
you're reading about her in the first place is
that she is, in effect, 50% of the candidacy for leadership
of the Democratic party. Somebody, surely, must
like her.
Carl Bernstein is dishing the dirt that contrary
to what she's said, she did know about Bill and his
affair with Gennifer Flowers. Or at least, she
probably
knew.
The greatest outrage is that the next accusation
will be that she isn't a "heavyweight".
Misogynist opinion sees no contradiction in reducing
any given woman to a series of soap opera and/or
biological roles - and then, using this as "evidence",
levelling at her the charge that she isn't serious-minded!
If she's not a heavyweight, why is Bernstein writing a book about her sex life?
I thought Bernstein was the non-whore half of that team.
Looks like the Woodword-Bernstein team is all whore now.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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It pays to advertise on bartcop.com
Still at 2006 prices!
Subject: BCR 116
I am listening to BCR Show 116.
Bart, please just do this kind of thing, you
are so good at it.
Hit Rush, Weiner, whoever.
God, I love listening to you beat down the retard,
right-wing bozos
who keep poor people voting for the conservative
candidates because of Yahweh.
Salud, Bart,
Badams
Brian, thanks.
So far, you're the only one who wrote.
...but am I really doing BCR for one listener?
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Hoodies!
$36, 3
for $100
Teresa
Get a free WPE magnet with each shirt!
T-shirts,
$23 each, 5 for $100
If you don't love your grandkids, I understand
WPE
Refrigerator Magnets
New, lower
prices!
3 for $10
8 for $20
20 for
$30
Re-sell them,
make big bucks!
In a tourist town they'll pay $11 each for these.
Bartcop Flashback
Know of a good bit from the back issues we should re-link to?
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
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featuring 
Romney Kisses Pat Robertson
Excerpt:
Mitt Romney (R-Onewifesofar) did not discuss
his Mormon faith as he blew Pat Robertson.
Instead, Romney, who is needs the GOP's religiously
insane base to win the presidential nomination,
expounded on the same old tired conservative
themes such as the importance of child-rearing and
marriage and the presence of evil in the world.
"There is no work more important to America's
future than the work that is done within the four walls
of the American home," Romney blathered. He
also criticized people who choose not to get
married because they enjoy the single life.
ha ha
Why should single men be happy?
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That's a lot of BCR
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Mike
Palecek:
The
American Dream Book Tour
Tour
Dates
Tonight!
AS220 Performance Space, Providence, RI
May 8: The Book Cellar, Brattleboro, VT
May 10: Lucy Parsons Center, Boston, MA
May 11: Elizabeth, NJ Catholic Worker House
Tell Mike Bart says "hey!"
Condi's Smoking Gun?
Excerpt:
George Tenet is just the latest to join this
blame game, which began more than three years ago when his
fellow Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient
Tommy Franks told Bob Woodward that Douglas Feith,
the Pentagon's intelligence bozo, was the "stupidest
guy on the face of the earth" (that's the expurgated version).
Last fall, Kenneth Adelman, the neocon cheerleader
who foresaw a "cakewalk" in Iraq, told Vanity Fair that
Tenet, General Franks and Paul Bremer were "three
of the most incompetent people who've ever served in
such key spots." Richard Perle chimed in that
the "huge mistakes" were "not made by neoconservatives" and
instead took a shot at President Bush. Ahmad
Chalabi, the neocons' former darling, told Dexter Filkins of
The Times "the real culprit in all this is Wolfowitz."
And of course nearly everyone blames Rumsfeld.
This would be a Three Stooges routine were there
only three stooges.
Subject: stubborn on Sheryl Drow
Hey Bart,
I think you ought to drop the defense of your
Sheryl Crow reaction.
I have no intention of dragging this out - but
I keep getting letters.
It's OK that you didn't know it was a joke, but Crow is an entertainer and an activist.
You seem to be under the impression that all the
comedians are doing Sheryl Crow jokes
because of Ol' Bart's reaction and I don't think
that's true.
She's not running for office. Politicians have
to be very careful of what they say, but you can't ask
all Democrats, activists, entertainers, etc.
to muzzle themselves just because the mainstream stupidity
machine might make them a target.
I think it was a stupid thing for her to say.
On Thursday's Laura Ingraham Show, she dedicated
a song to Sheryl called,
"All we are saying is give One Piece a Chance."
Expect more of those.
We can't be that timid. (Where have I heard that
before?) Nobody muzzles Bart.
In fact, you're so stubborn, even when friends
try to tell you you're wrong, you stick by a losing argument. ;-)
It was a stupid thing for her to say.
It was Kerry-in-a-condom-suit stupid.
How does my reaction change that?
The American people GET the environmental issue.
Leno making stupid toilet paper jokes isn't going
to change that.
Are you saying the American voter is too smart
to fall for horseshit?
He still makes stupid Clinton's cock jokes, but
the Big Dog is as popular as ever.
And the people who watch FOX and listen to Limbaugh
aren't very likely to "see the light" anyway.
It's probably pretty dark where their heads are
stuck.
I don't want to live in a country where we have to watch what we say that closely.
Best regards,
DanL
So you're backing my right to publish an opinion
on what Sheryl said?
Thanks.
Marty's Entertainment Page
always has good stuff.
Click on the E!
Subject: Bush on trial
You guys absolutely SUCK!!!
You are a disgrace to America and your comments
are shameful to our brave troops!
I will send a bcc: to ALL of my friends and family
and ask them to report your site as offensive!
Ted from San Diego
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering
if they made a
difference in the world. But, the Marines
don't have that problem."
Ronald Reagan, who
got 220 Marines killed in one day
Ted, I hope your friends and family were too smart
to fall for Bush's jihad against
some Arab prick who was living above oil that
rightfully belonged to George W. Bush.
But - if someone has to die for Bush's insatiable oil greed,
there might be some fairness in a true believer going down.
Setting
the Table
by Peter Dyer
Excerpt:
"All options are on the table."
When faced with a problem, most of us would like
to have at our disposal any and all tools available to remedy the problem.
But what do these words really mean when used
by the most powerful people in the world's most powerful country?
The bland lanaguage of the cliche masks its implicit
terror.
It is a simple, blanket assumption of unconditional
power: we can do whatever we want, to whomever we want,
whenever we want, however we want to do it, as
often as we want, and for whatever reasons we want.
"All options are on the table" sums up the reckless,
arrogant, lawless and short-sighted American assumption that
seemingly remains intact even after four years
of catastrophe in Iraq: that the United States has the right to invade
and occupy any country at all, whether or not
we have ever been harmed or even threatened with harm by that country.
With all respect, I think Peter's got this all
wrong.
"All options are on the table"
doesn't mean "We'll invade any country we like."
It means we'll go nuclear if we have to - a chilling
but different thought altogether.
And he attacks Hillary, Edwards and Obama for
being Bush's twin on this - using that term when
it comes to preventing Iran from nuking up -
as tho a nuclear Ahmahandjob is acceptable.
I'm on record saying a nuclear Iran is unacceptable
and I was attacked heavily for saying it.
I guess that means I'm butt-buddies with the
Mossad, or some such hogwash.
Discuss
it on The Bartcop Forum
Discuss it on the BartBlog
Iraq pumped 3.5M
barrels daily before
Bush invaded
and then they got their 2003 Halliburton
upgrade
Bush is stealing $220,000,000 every day.
No wonder they were so eager to start a war,
stealing $220,000,000 every day.
It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.
Exxon made
$10B profit in 90 days
$100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war
Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...
3,351....3,377
American victims
3,377 families destroyed by Bush greed.
They got 26 while we were in Texas
...and how much did BIG OIL make yesterday?
Exxon
makes $108M - every day
Bush can live with that,
because Iraq's oil wells have
no meters
and his front company is moving
to Dubai.
$100M
a day,
$200M a
day,
$300M a
day - where's that money going?
Bush has killed more Americans than Osama.
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Old Business
Last year, I was disappointed that I didn't hear
about the
2006 YearlyKos convention in fabulous
Las Vegas in time.
This year, he's having it in Chicago in August
- plenty makeable
- but the price of getting in the door is $225
per person.
(Registration fees are subject to increase. Registration
fees are non-refundable.)
It will include:
* Panels and caucuses led by national and international
experts about issues affecting all our lives,
* Prominent nationally recognized political,
issue and policy-oriented speakers,
* A progressive film screening series,
* Appearances by many of the presidential candidates
for 2008,
* The most concentrated gathering of high-profile
progressive bloggers to date,
* The opportunity for you to meet, commune with
and actually get to know all the people
you've virtually known as a part
of the Daily Kos and Netroots communities,
* And so much more.
I'm curious - anybody bought their tickets to
that yet?
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it on The Bartcop Forum
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The Texas Trip report will be better spoken than written.
Look for that in BCR
117
Paris Hilton
going to Jail
45 days for violating probation
See more of The Jailbird at BC Hotties
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it on The Bartcop Forum
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Thanks to bartcop.com subscribers.
We know you work hard
for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each
month.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
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BCR Show
#116
Listen to it before you share it
There's a little language in this show.
Part One is a "debate" with Randi Rhodes.
Hopefully this we been seen as an example
of how 2 Democrats can strongly disagree
without the usual hyper-snippishness.
Who won the "debate?"
I think the vote will go her way.
Click to Listen
to Part One of Show 116
Click to downloadPart
One of Show 116
Part Two needs some 'splainin'
Michael DelGiorno is a lying, Nazi whore and,
worse than our vulgar Pigboy, he hides behind Jesus.
He broke the law, he got caught on tape,
so he "confessed" and begged for forgiveness.
I know I got carried away.
I had a little too much fun, so be prepared
to not hate me for what I did to him.
If you're not in the mood for a mega-sarcastic,
rhetorically violent beatdown, maybe skip Part Two.
There's some comedy at the end of each half.
Click to Listen
to Part Two of Show 116
Click to download
Part Two of Show 116
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