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WELCOME TO BARTCOP.COM A modem, a smart mouth and the truthNews and Commentary NOT Approved by Karl Rove, bcause vicious extremists can NOT be appeased.

BCR 147 is Here!HOT

Tuesday   Jan 6, 2009   Vol 2267 - Gazamaul 

Quote of the Day

"Senator Al Franken ... Has a nice, 
  drive-the-wingnuts crazy ring to it." 
      --  David Neiwert,    Link


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Arrow Obama puts Panetta at CIA 
Arrow Reid Rejects Rule of Law HOT
Arrow Franken Win Certified HOT
Arrow O'Reilly on Franken 
Arrow Reid says no to Franken HOT
Arrow Pity the Poor Neocons 
Arrow Richardson, Obama fight 
Arrow Alizee, Music Hottie 



Mike Mallow returns Wednesday

Listen to Mike on your computer


"Here is a partial answer to my own question of how should we behave, directed especially 
to the next president and members of his or her administration but also to all of use who will 
be relieved by the change: We must avoid any temptation simply to move on. We must instead 
be honest with ourselves and the world as we condemn our nation's past transgressions and 
reject Bush's corruption of our American ideals. Our constitutional democracy cannot survive 
with a government shrouded in secrecy, nor can our honor be restored without full disclosure." 
    --  Dawn Johnson,  the new head of the Office of Legal Counse,   Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Obama picks Panetta for CIA 


Obama has chosen Leon Panetta, Clinton's chief of staff to lead the CIA. 

The choice of Panetta for CIA director was one of the last major nominations 
for Obama, who takes over from the Worst President Ever on January 20. 
Outside of his stint in the White House, where he served between 1994 and 1997, 
Panetta has relatively little experience in national security matters. 

He was a member of the Iraq Study Group, whose recommendations for a phased 
troop withdrawal were largely ignored by the Bush bastards, who chose to increase 
the U.S. military presence there instead.  Before joining the Clinton administration, 
Panetta was a congressman between 1977 and 1993, where he focused on budget, 
nutrition and environmental issues. 

CNN says Obama wanted somebody who didn't have torture blood on his hands
so that meant he had to look outside the agency for somebody who is untainted.

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

Reid Rejects the Rule of Law


How will it look if the Sergent at Arms bars Burris from the Senate floor, but did nothing to 
Harriet Miers and Karl Rove when they defied Senate subpoenas? How will it look if they refuse 
to accept Burris into the Democratic Caucus after having accepted Joe Lieberman, who spent years 
enabling the Bush bastards' crime and corruption as Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee?

How does it look to be screaming about Burris's 'taint' when they did nothing for decades about 
Ted Stevens, and gave him a standing ovation even after he'd been convicted? Or for that matter, 
their inaction with regard to Larry Craig? How does it look now that Reid is manipulating Senate 
procedure to exclude Burris, but simply shrugged his shoulders over Samuel Alito, warrantless 
wiretapping and the Military Commissions Act?

Harry Reid has rejected Burris.
How did we get stuck with this loser/enabler/coward/idiot?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog


"Congrats to Al Franken...But I give it 48 hours before Harry Reid 
  issues his latest alibi why Senate GOP-ers will still be running things." 
      --  HarpoSnarx, who has it exactly right,    Link

 Harry Reid always has 101 excuses for why he failed.

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

The boy with no eyes

 Subject: BartCat

Dear Bart & Mrs. Bart --
My most heartfelt condolences on the passing of Bartcat.

I don't expect you to remember each person who writes you, 
but I have mentioned many times over the years my pre-disposition toward cats.

In my lifetime, I've adopted or cared for or rescued dozens and dozens of cats. 
They are my special creature on earth.  And, I feel it is justified, by their nature.

I've lived long-term with about a dozen, and I've been there to give life to and to bury dozens more.
They have all been dear friends.

I'm so very sorry to hear that Bartcat has moved on. 
I grieve for you and with you; it's a pain that never becomes easier.  As it should not.

But, when you feel it, also remember the moments when you laughed the most.
It's the best way to honor them.  As with all friends.
 -- Geoff

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Pity the Poor Neocons
 by Robert Parry


As bloody and grotesque as Israel’s pounding of Gaza has been, it marks a bitterly disappointing end 
for seven-plus years of neoconservative dominion over U.S. foreign policy, a period that was supposed 
to conclude with the dismantling of Israel’s Muslim enemies in the region.

Contrary to those neocon plans, George W. Bush is limping toward a historical judgment as possibly
“the worst President ever”;  U.S. power is waning in Iraq under a “status-of-forces agreement” that is 
showing the Americans the door by 2011 if not earlier; and key neocon targets – Iran, Syria and 
Hezbollah in Lebanon – have gained in regional influence.

It figures.
After a year of fabricating lies and distorting the facts to scream insults at Hillary,
Parry has to use "possibly" to describe Bush as the worst president ever?

If he had given Hillary 1/10th of the respect he gives Der Monkey
I might still care what Bob Parry has to say.

I wonder - in all those lies he wrote about Hillary in 2008, I wonder if Parry 
ever used the word "possibly" to mitigate his senseless Hillary hatred?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"He is the weakest, most pathetic Majority Leader I have ever seen. He can't seem to grasp 
that he has the upper hand. Its either that or he's a secret republican. How about a little use of 
that power? Threaten to treat them the way they treated Dems over the previous 6 years. 
This is disgusting...Now if we can only chip in enough money to buy Reid some testicles so he 
can lead the Senate. Why won't he fight the GOP's filibuster machine? Get his tired, weak ass 
the hell outta there."
     -- TN, speaking the kind of truth I like to hear,   Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


 Subject: Worst Speaker Ever?

Let's not forget that raving lunatic Newty Gingrich. 
Remember his first horrid day on the "job?" 

Walking back and forth with his gavel like a salivating madman. 
Next to him, Pelosi (although she does indeed blow) looks like a champion of liberal causes.
It was a great day when he was summarily tossed out on his fat ass. 

I just don't want the revisionist historians resurrecting his stinking carcas.

I'm no Newt fan, but he didn't take impeachment of the table.

Y'know, I'm not real smart.
I do better with big issues ...rather that the geeky details, but I'll go on record as saying that telling 
a greedy, blood-thirsty, oil-gouging, religiously-insane war criminal in advance that he WILL NOT 
be held accountable for his future rapes, murders and tortures is a crazy fucking thing to do.

"But bart, when W shouts "Dance, you bitches," we dance!

Excuse me...


  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Franken Win Certified in MN
 Sore Loser Coleman can't accept the facts


The Minnesota State Canvassing Board certified results Monday showing Al Franken
winning the recount over Norm Coleman (R-Prick) who is expected to whine and pout.
Earlier today, the state Supreme Court rejected the Coleman campaign’s petition to 
count several hundred additional absentee ballots.

After this weekend’s tally of mistakenly rejected absentee ballots, Franken was holding on 
to a 225-vote lead. The Supreme Court declined Coleman’s appeal to consider 654 more ballots. 

I'm very happy about this.
I wanted to beat Saxby Chambliss, but this is just as good.

 Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

 Subject: pressure

I have a good idea what that kind of pressure is, and what it means to 
take care of deserving loved ones while you have a pile of your own troubles.

I say good luck and post when you can.
 Bill from ct

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog


"Maybe when Hillary leaves the Senate for the State department
  she could leave one or two of her three testes behind for Reid's use?"
   -- DaddyD,  Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: Thank you

Without qualification, your blog has helped me keep my sanity for years. 
I look forward to every new issue. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

My wallet will try and give thanks to you mid-month. 
I'll be thinking of your cats when I plant the 'nip this spring. 
I don't envy you your new task - making a living is getting harder for almost everyone...
 Steve from Libby

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Marty's Entertainment Page

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

Richardson, Obama Teams Trade Blame


Sources within the transition and the Justice Department said that Richardson had played down the 
importance of the probe and did not reveal that his office and staff could be at risk. The seriousness of 
the matter became apparent after the FBI began its own background check on Dec. 2. But Richardson's 
longtime aides defended his disclosures, noting that subjects under examination by a grand jury are rarely 
aware of its secret deliberations.

"This was out there, and he told them," said a senior Richardson aide. "I feel that they just missed the boat on it. 
The FBI or the campaign or something. I don't think it's fair that this is being portrayed as him holding anything back."

Yesterday, Richardson hired a prominent white-collar lawyer to represent him in the investigation, 
which centers on a California financial services firm that won a lucrative contract from the New Mexico 
Finance Authority after donating to political committees linked to the governor.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Facebook - inventing the idea to list 
the countries where their page is read. 


"The Weekly Standard’s Michael Goldfarb makes the case that it’s appropriate and 
praiseworthy for countries to deliberately target the wives and children of people they 
consider enemies. This kind of moral posture is not unheard of, of course. But it’s strange 
to see the ethics of Osama bin Laden being explicitly adopted by the organs of mainstream 
conservatism. To be clear, he’s not saying that it’s sometimes okay to kill a bad guy’s 
innocent children as part of a military operation directed against the guy. He’s saying 
it’s better to kill his children than it would be to avoid killing them."
    -- Matthew Yglesias,,   Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: Wish you well 

Hello Bartcop,
It sucks when you try to do the right thing and it comes back to bite your ass (helping the old man.) 
I know you don't believe in God but it goes to show that you do not have to to have ethics. 
Try explaining that to religious handjobs. May things turn out well with the situation. 

The one thing is that when you come back from a hiatus, the next page you post is powerful. 
You never disappoint, at least not me. I apologize for telling you now that I enjoyed Bartcop #147 
(I think I listened to it 3 weeks ago.) That Jimmy Page solo peeled back my scalp and I was rolling 
on the floor when you noted that, what, our F-16s could not keep up with the Somali pirates? 

I'm real sorry about Bartcat. I'm a cat lover myself and I have this 6 1/2 month old kitten that 
I would like to send to military school. I hate it when the critter is smarter than me. I know you 
would rather be writing a page daily, but I understand you have do what you have to do. 

Just watch yourself and don't get worn out in the meantime because as long as we have our spineless 
Dems blowing the ones without the power(see Mitch the Bitch), we will be needing your, "I'm mad as hell..." 
You are always what the doctor ordered. Please send my regards to Mrs. Bartcop.

Best of luck and keep swinging that hammer,

Mrs. Bart is under much more pressure than me.
She has to deal with all this plus a 46-hour a week day job.
So far, she's holding up like the USS Missouri (a compliment).

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

 Subject: Mike the Dealer replies 

I really don't have a place where I've stored all my poker advice. 
What I'd really ask of Mark and anyone who reads my advice is.

1) What questions do you have about hold 'em in general, like position/starting standards/
when to raise/the differences between tournaments/cash games, etc. Once I know the topic 
my audience is seeking advice on the more I can do to shed light on it.

2) Do you have a hand you've played recently that's been bugging you? 
Lost with Aces and feel like you made a mistake? I'm not looking for 'bad beat' stories like 
"I flopped a set and got all in, and the guy hits runner runner for a straight!" cause that's pretty 
self evident that you got your money in really good and just got unlucky. 

I'm asking about a hand that went down to the river and you don't know if you played it right. 
I need as much info as possible (Cash/tournament, what position you were in the hand, stack sizes 
of you and your opponent, etc.) and then I can puzzle over it, and then pick the brains of some of 
my poker playing friends to go over the hand and see what mistakes were made (If any) to try 
to help you see a better line of action on your play.

I'll have a new column written up by Wednesday.
 -Mike the Dealer

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Can't Wait Until O'Reilly Announces Franken's Win


Christmas vacation is over. Monday morning will have the megamouths more than ready to take back 
the Lords of Loud seats from unlistened to, exaggerated drama-queens and notso best ofs. The broadcast 
guys and gals will choppin' at the bit to get to the real business of demeaning Dems and putting a wedge 
between Americans. And they'll be more than ready. Rush, Sean, Glenn and the wannabes who received 
the gift of an overwhelming Republican defeat will spend the next couple weeks building up the momentum 
so that January 20th will kick off at two, four or more years of blaming Obama and Democrats in power.

You think tearing apart every word and move by Obama won't be a helluva lot more fun than the defending 
of the Bush debacle? It's exhausting trying to nail the powerless Democats for the demise of America. 
Behind closed mikes, they'd admit that blaming the recession on a president-elect was a contortion of 
logic that even the Velvet Fog of talk radio, Mark Levin, probably found a bit unweildy.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: thanks


I hated to hear about your recent struggles trying to help a family member. 
Hope you get things straightened out and back to a more peaceful existence
(is it possible?) but know that dealing with the dementia issue is frustrating. 

On the positive side, we have a chance at some sanity in the White House 
for the first time in 8 years. Just remember that your fans will understand when 
you cannot post or produce the radio show, and take it easy when you can. 

Best wishes for 2009 to you and yours,

     Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!


"Sources tell ABC News that officials on the Obama Transition Team feel that before he 
was formally offered the job of commerce secretary, Bill Richardson was not forthcoming 
with them about the federal investigation that is looking into whether the governor steered 
a state contract towards a major financial contributor."
    -- ABC News,   Link

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 Subject: swearing out ceremony for boy blunder


I know you're old but did you ever hear National Lampoon's "Missing Basement Tapes"? 
It contained a swearing out ceremony for the big dick.  It was Rev Billy Graham:
"Gawd Damn you Richard Nixon! Richard Nixon, you Son-of-a-bitch, 
you lied your ass off to the American People.  Now fuck off!"

True, it is a return to your 'blue period' but I think it would be fitting if we could provide 
this same good-riddance to the worst president in the history of the country.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

Reid says no to Franken 
Is Mitch the Bitch still running the senate?


Harry Reid says he will not attempt to seat Al Franken in the Senate today -- though they 
are reiterating Reid's call for Norm Coleman (R-Prick) to concede the race rather than drag it out.

The statement from Reid spokesman Jim Manley:

"Now that the bipartisan state canvassing board has certified Al Franken as the winner, we hope 
Senator Coleman respects its decision and does not drag this out for months with litigation. 
Shortly after Election Day, Coleman criticized Mr. Franken for wanting a recount and wasting 
taxpayer money. Now that it is clear he lost, Coleman should follow his own advice and not 
subject the people of Minnesota to a costly legal battle. However, there will not be an effort 
to seat Mr. Franken tomorrow."

Is Harry Reid really Alberto Gonzales with a mask?
How many hueueueuege mistakes can Harry make in one day?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: Bart, you wrote: 

> Sidebar:  If I had a dollar for everyone who wrote to complain 
> about that chupacabra joke - we'd have no financial troubles at all :)

I loved that chupacabra joke bart!
It's classic Bartcop.
It's why we come here, Politics, Humor and a Smart Mouth.

Love it!
Tim from BLUE STATE Indiana 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

 Subject: TQuigly rebuttal 

Mr. Bart,
Thank you. 

He means for running his letter and my reply

To answer your original question, 'what can he do?' 
He could get a set of balls and of ethics, that's what he could do.

I asked what Oboma could do to make you happy 
and you respond with a physical impossibility?

Check out  http://www.campaignforliberty.com/blog.php?view=7287 to see what 
a genuine scholar and statesman would do, would say.  For 30 years Ron Paul has 
insisted on speaking Truth, even when he stood alone to speak it (people love 
'Mr. Smith Goes To Washington' - Dr. Paul is the present-day living embodiment of that ideal).

Paul is free to speak the truth because he's nobody.
If Paul was the President-elect, he'd have to bite his tongue like Obama is doing,.

There are hundreds of marches and protests around the world in response to 
Israel's demonic and unprovoked invasion of a defense-less country. 

I knew it!
You're infected with that Israeli insanity gene.
You can''t think straight because you're too close to the madness.

Obama remains silent to the death, hatred and destruction. 

Obama might fumble the ball in the future, but right now he's on the bench.
You want to comdemn him before he gets in the game.

Mr. Bart, I know you are a humor site and we love you for it.  But please, take off 
the Democratic/obama blinders - telling TRUTH enhances, not detracts from humor. 

And I remember just a few months ago I was called "an Obama hater."
I have always been on the side of science, logic and the facts.
One reason I get to claim that is because I'm not religiously insane.
You, however, are not in a position to say that.

You may lose some present supporters if you do tell the TRUTH, but you will gain credibility 
and other supporters if you stand for TRUTH, rather than for blind support of garbage. 
Unfortunately,  obama has proven himself to be a dupe-maker even before he takes office. 

Clearly, one of us is wearing blinders.
I have no dog in this fight, so whose really wearing those blinders?

Anyway, we pray for Peace and Prosperity for All in 2009.
Ia orana iti matahiti api (HappyNewYear in Tahiti)
Hozhi Nagahi (Dineh)

TQ, I think you're sincere - but you're wrong.
If you had the ability to look at that Middle Eastern madness like I do you'd realize both sides 
would rather fight, both sides would rather die than give up their precious sacred fucking sand.

Israelis could move to Oklahoma and live to see their grandkids get married but nooooooooo.
They'd rather placate some non-existent Cloud Being than protect the lives of their kids.

That's the scourge of religious insanity and I'm too smart to fall for such horseshit.

How can an uneducated, tequila-drinking Okie see things so clearly
while those smarter than myself are still groping in the religious darkness?

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

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 Subject: Palin's grandkid a chupacabra?

My wife called just as I started reading your Chupacabra story in the last issue
I was laughing so hard reading it to her that I could barely get it out. 

She was laughing at me because I was laughing so hard.  She asked where I was
reading that from and I said the Great Bartcop of course.  We shared a few more 
Bartilicious giggles; she forgot why she called and we reveled in your greatness for 
another moment or two and went on to our mundane lives.

If people still don't get your humor…well, maybe they'll never get it.
Keep Swingin' Brother,
 Jeff the Texas Democrat - There are very few of us. 

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog


"He's gonna come home with his head high, knowing he ran a clean operation and 
he kept this country strong and free after an unprecedented history attack of 9/11. 
He'll have a lot too be proud of and he can start by his mother and father being 
very proud of him...and we always will be. You can go back to your, what do you 
call it, your Google, and you figure out all that" 
    -- Poppy Bush on his son, the murderer,     Link

"I went to the Google and typed "worst president ever" and guess who's name 
came up in link after link after link? Poppy Bush must have been on the Google too 
just before this interview." 
    -- Gunsandbigots,  Link

   Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog!

 Subject: Al Franken

So the Senate Repubs are going to block seating of Al Franken...

They don't need to - they have Harry Reid blocking for them. 

If the Democrats in the Senate had a pair (insert your most disgusted question here...), 
they would use the same rule to say "Fine, and we'll keep Saxby and Mitch out 
until Al is seated as well!"  Not very likely... 

Harry Reid doesn't play that way.

He plays the surrender card every time.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

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 Subject: The Left and Clinton

Bart, to call Clinton the best president in 60 years is a more than a mere reach. 

I disagree and I'll bet you can't back that up.

He went along with Newt Gingerich's Contract ON America, pushing & signing NAFTA, 
signing the T-Com Act of '96 and the Phil Gramm bill that gutted the Glass-Steagall Act...
NAFTA and the Gramm bill can basically be tied to our financial woes now. 

None of that means anything because anyone can criticize any president ad nauseum.
The criteria is - Name a president better than Clinton in the last 60 years.

Clinton took the Reagan deregulation ball and ran it up to the one yard line. 
All Dubya had to do is fall forward to land it in the endzone.

Yak, yak, yak - you're still not saying anything.

I'm no fan of Bush or The Cons but please, enough with the rose-colored glasses 
where Bill Clinton is concerned.  He was better than Bush, yes, but he also carried 
the torch for Republican domestic policy throughout his terms as well.

Spoken like a true Lefty, who's idea of the perfect president has yet to be realized.
Well guess what - it's never going to happen.
You can't compare Clinton to perfection.
I'm asking you to compare him to the last 11 presidents.
When you do that, you'll learn I'm telling the truth.

And I don't hate the Clintons, I just abstain from both koolaid flavors. 
 Judy in Cleveland

I didn't ask you to drink anything.

If all you can think of are failures and mistakes and bad decisons 
when you hear Clinton's name, then I suggest you do hate him.

Even after eight years of war, death and recession Bush, you won't give 
Clinton any credit for the eight years of peace, surpluses and prosperity?

Republicans make their presidents into saints - and the press buys into that.
Democrats hate their best - so the lazy whore press goes along with that, too.

  Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

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Subscribe to Bartcop

You can select a monthly plan to provide recurring support.
Please sign up for whatever you can afford.
(10% of your gross is the usual tithe.)

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Option: If you want to donate on a regular basis
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Bart, call me so I can sign up!

BCR 148

I've never wanted to do a radio show more than this one.
It's the weirdest story. 

What happens when peace, prosperity, science and logic 
gets kidnapped by old age, meth-heads and shit happens? 

If Artie Lange can reach the NYWTimes Number One Best Seller List
then I have to think the BartCop Autobiography would reach at least Number 40.
Somebody write me a big check so I can write my story while there's time.

 Send e-mail to Bart  |  Discuss it on The BartCop ForumComment on it at the BartBlog

If I was the governor of Culli-fornia
I'd always wear a shirt outdoors.

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Worldwide Bartcop

They read it in Zurich, Switzerland 

They read it in Beamsville, Ontario, Canada

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They read it in Feldkirchen-Westerham, Bayern, Germany

  Want to sell stuff everywhere?

They have money - their economy isn't run by a religiously-insane moron.

 Why sell to America when you can sell to the world?

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Subject: Donation

Not even a nomination?

Hi Bart, the problem is, you are quality.
Since when has quality been popular?

What was the last time you joined a bandwagon?
What was the last time you incited a mob?
What was the last time you stirred up mass hysteria by getting base  instincts active again?
Quality sucks in popularity ratings...

But you get a donation from me, cos quality makes ALL the difference!

We (the World) are going to need you more than ever. 
It is MUCH harder to hold a Good Guy up than to knock a bad guy down...

Your disagreeable friend,
 Helmut in Germany

Helmut, thanks for that.

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Old Business

All WPE and Mooselini shirts have now been shipped.
If you've been waiting for yours, the wait is about over.

My apologies for not getting those to you sooner.
The printer's computer broke then the shirt people
took time off for Christmas.

Lately, life has been a real Dr. Laura.

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Alizee, French Music Hottie 


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