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Thurs-Friday, Aug 25-26, 2011 Vol 2743 - Torrential lightning
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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Quotes
"A drunk driver will plow right through a stop sign
but a stoned driver will sit there and wait for it to turn green."
-- Michael Dare, in a tweet
I have a very interesting Michael Dare story from years ago - but I can't find it.
Michael, do you have a link for that?
Send e-mail to Bart
"A drunk driver will plow right through a stop sign
but a stoned driver will sit there and wait for it to turn green."
-- Michael Dare, in a tweet
I have a very interesting Michael Dare story from years ago - but I can't find it.
Michael, do you have a link for that?
Send e-mail to Bart
Perry Leads Pack of Wild Dogs
but it's ten light-years till the election
Link
Rick Perry, the religiously-insane Texas governor, sits at 29 percent, Romney slipped to 17%
with Ron Paul (Who?) coming in third at 13% and Bachmann falling all the way to 10%.
Bachmann should've been prepared for this. When you attempt to lead a party of cavemen,
you can't be surprised when they say, "We cain't let no dumb bitch lead us!"
I say Perry, Der Monkey Fuhrer's dumber twin, will self-destruct, probably sooner rather than later.
Right now, I'd bet on that liberal, pro-gay, big-government gun-grabber from Massachusetts.
BTW, Jon Huntsman, the most sane candidate, is at 1%.
Sanity gets you NOTHING in today's GOP, Jon.
Send e-mail to Bart
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Marty
always has good stuff.
True Bachmann Quotes
"Earthquakes
don't scare me. Jesus speaks to me through our planet.
Sometimes when I walk on the beach, I fantasize about tsunamis
of blood."
-- that crazy bitch Michelle Bachmann, in a Tweet last night,
swear to Koresh
A crazy-ass Teabagger "fantasizing about
tsunamis of blood" in the White House?
I don't think so...
My good friend Alan
Bisbort has an exhibit
coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT.
Click Here for More Info
coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT.
Click Here for More Info
Inhofe
insane TX GovernorHe wants to have babies with Rick Perry
tulsaworld.com
"I called Rick Perry a year ago and told him, 'If you're running for president, I'll be the first to endorse you,' "
Sen. Inhofe told some Okies at the Tulsa Press Club. "I'm going to be that person on Monday."
Inhofe said Perry is rock steady on key issues, unlike other Republican candidates.
"I like Mitt Romney, but he's a little mushy on environmental issues," Inhofe said.
Translation:
Romney listens to the experts, the doctors and the scientists.
He's not head-up-his-ass crazy like Rick Perry is.
"I look for the person who has the best chance against (President) Obama," he said.
"That person was John Thune, the senator from South Dakota. The reason I say that is
he's taller than Obama is, he's better looking than Obama is, and he's the same age Obama is.
He would have made a good candidate, but he's not running."
In 2008, Inhofe endorsed Fred Thompson because, he said, Thompson's looks
and his role on the television series "Law and Order" would attract female voters.
Damn, looks like Inhofe lets his vagina do his voting for him.
If he's always going to vote for the cute guy,
why don't we run Clooney or Ben Affleck?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: re: sending all the Teabaggers to Texas
Bart, you wrote:
> Everyone who hates the government should move to f-ing Texas
> so they can leave us and we can leave their Teabagging asses.
Holy Shit, Bart!
What makes you (or anyone else) think that everybody in Texas is a Teabagger?
After all, not everyone in Texas is a Republican.
Yeah, I know that Governor Goodhair is stomping around and sticking his boots in his mouth every chance
he gets, and that is why we are painted with that broad brush, but still...
Anyway, why not send them all to Florida, instead? That place is full of yahoos and crazies too!
It's also flat as an ironing board, and right in the path of hurricanes... if you get my meaning.
Or, how about Alaska?
Lost your name (sorry) in Houston
As a Democrat in Oklahoma, I get that all Texans aren't insane handjobs.
But if giving them Texas, Florida, Oklahoma and Alaska would bring
logic and sanity back to government, it would be worth moving for me.
Hell, let's give them ID, WY, UT, KS, MT, the Dakotas and the Carolinas, too.
Send e-mail to Bart
Tribbles found in Chicago
The eat grain like Pigboy on a baked ham
Link
One of the world's "most feared" pests was discovered on American soil. The Khapra beetle, in larva stage,
was identified by customs officials last week in a 10-pound bag of rice that came from India.
In a press release, Customs and Border Protection described the bug as "one of the world's most tenacious
and destructive stored-produce pests because of its ability to damage grain."
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: that really was Clooney's Castle...
Bart, that mystery city was George Clooney’s Castle Island on Lake Como.
Here’s a link.
Ken
Send e-mail to Bart
Dan, you slap me while saying thank you?
I forgive you.
But what's the REAL subject we're talking about?
Obama has been a good/great president
but nobody knows about it?
Who's fault is that?
He has more cameras on him than Paris Hilton.
Obama can command every mic and camera in America.
He chooses not to.
Check out the news and toons
at
on the Bart Blog!
Sarah Palin Nude!!!
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Where do the candidates stand on Reality?
Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman has publicly stated that he believes in science.
The news media seems more interested in asking candidates about God and what religion they are.
The news media should ask candidates if they believe in science and what their relationship is with reality.
Those of us in the reality-based community want to know if candidates have a personal relationship with the real world.
Marc Perkel
Send e-mail to Bart
CNN Points of View
"Sunday's Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial dedication has been postpone because
God wanted Martin to have a fine, sunny weekend for his memorial dedication."
-- Religio-nut Left:
"Sunday's Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial dedication had to be postponed
because God is angry that America has a 'nigger' president."
-- Religio-nut Right:
Why can't a f-ing hurricane be just a f-ing hurricane?
How does God get dragged into everything?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: If the Quake happened in OK...
...the headline would be, "God saves thousands of lives."
Wiseguy
Subject: If the Quake happened in OK...
...the headline would be, "Quake causes over $2 million in improvements.."
Jeff is Seattle
Send e-mail to Bart
Arrested at the White House
by Bill McKebben
Link
Barack Obama has the power to stop it and no one in Congress or elsewhere can prevent
him from doing so. That means -- and again, it couldn’t be simpler -- that the Keystone XL
decision is the biggest environmental test for him between now and the next election.
If he decides to stand up to the power of big oil, it will send a jolt through his political base,
reminding the presently discouraged exactly why they were so enthused in 2008.
That’s why many of us were wearing our old campaign buttons when we went into the paddy wagon.
We’d like to remember -- and like Obama to remember, too -- just why we knocked on all those doors.”
Dude, seriously?
You're expecting Obama to suddenly turn into a fighter?
Sometimes I think Obama wouldn't stand up to William and Mary if William was sick,
so there's NO chance he'll stand up to the powerful lobbyists from BIG oil.
Obama is a walking surrender machine.
I don't like saying that, but you want the truth, right?
Here's what I saw in today's Tulsa World.
Approval ratings:
President Obama 40%
The Orange Boner 33%
Mitch the Bitch 21%
Why is Obama taking orders from people with such low ratings?
Why can't Obama say, "I won the damn election, we're doing things
MY way until January 20, 2013 and if you don't like it, f-ing resign."
Our president is such a polite, little mouse...
"If you vote for me in 2012, I promise
to fight in my second term - seriously."
He gave us his word that he'd fight for us, then he went to play golf.
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"The Tea Party is a new name on an old game.
Dr. King fought a 'Tea Party' in Alabama...
He had no weapons, but he confronted the Tea Party,"
-- Jesse Jackson, Link
Jesse is still a hero in my book.
He's been fighting about as long as Obama's been alive.
Send e-mail to Bart
But the idiots will vote to
return them to power
Subject: From barackobama.com
Friend --
I have a special offer for you.
This week, we're sending free 2012 bumper stickers to anyone who wants one.
All you have to do is tell us where to send it.
A bumper sticker may seem like a small gesture, but it sends a message that our commitment
to this campaign is one that's shared by Americans all around the country -- and we want as
many supporters as possible to send that same message to folks in their communities.
Jeremy at barackobama.com
What does the sticker say, "I do as I'm told?"
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Gadaffy challenge
Link
You know I love a challenge...
Send e-mail to Bart
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Paypal to bartcop@bartcop.comIs it fair to criticize Tim Tebow?
This is pure horseshit
I have never met Tim Tebow, but I've met a hundred religious nuts like him.
Tebow is free to be as religiously insane as he wants - but he wants more.
Tebow's the type of guy that if you asked him, "What time is it?" he likely reply would be,
"It's time for you to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour."
THAT'S why he's being criticized - because he can't turn that stuff off long enough to play football.
Think how quickly you'd get sick of that - every play, every practice, every game.
They say Tebow is the FOURTH best quarterback Denver has - and he's upset that he's not the big star?
You know what they say, Tim, you can't serve two masters.
As long as you're all-Jesus-all-the time, I doubt you'll ever be an NFL quarterback.
Tebow the victim - isn't it sad?
He's convinced 52% of the people that he's the victim of religious intolerance.
Gag Me Sidebar:
In 2010, a new rule for the next football season, dubbed "The Tebow Rule"
banned messages on eye paint. During his college football career,
Tebow frequently wore biblical verses on his eye black.
Oh, for the love of God...
I can just see dinner at Tebow's house.
"Praise the Lord, can you pass the salt?"
"Here's the salt, and Christ died for you and me!"
Tell me that wouldn't get old after three seconds.
Trust me, if he could throw a damn football, he could be al-Qaeda and Denver's top quarterback.
Remember Uncle O.J. Watts?
He's as black as the Ace of Spades at midnight but racist Oklahoma elected him
again and again because he won the nation football championship for the Sooners - twice.
If Tebow (or is it Teabow?) had half of Uncle O.J.'s football talent,
he'd already be in the Denver Broncos Hall of Fame.
Practice, Timmy, and stop whining and stop making excuses.
You're starting to sound like Sarah Palin (not a compliment.)
Send e-mail to Bart
This is pure horseshit
I have never met Tim Tebow, but I've met a hundred religious nuts like him.
Tebow is free to be as religiously insane as he wants - but he wants more.
Tebow's the type of guy that if you asked him, "What time is it?" he likely reply would be,
"It's time for you to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour."
THAT'S why he's being criticized - because he can't turn that stuff off long enough to play football.
Think how quickly you'd get sick of that - every play, every practice, every game.
They say Tebow is the FOURTH best quarterback Denver has - and he's upset that he's not the big star?
You know what they say, Tim, you can't serve two masters.
As long as you're all-Jesus-all-the time, I doubt you'll ever be an NFL quarterback.
Tebow the victim - isn't it sad?
He's convinced 52% of the people that he's the victim of religious intolerance.
Gag Me Sidebar:
In 2010, a new rule for the next football season, dubbed "The Tebow Rule"
banned messages on eye paint. During his college football career,
Tebow frequently wore biblical verses on his eye black.
Oh, for the love of God...
I can just see dinner at Tebow's house.
"Praise the Lord, can you pass the salt?"
"Here's the salt, and Christ died for you and me!"
Tell me that wouldn't get old after three seconds.
Trust me, if he could throw a damn football, he could be al-Qaeda and Denver's top quarterback.
Remember Uncle O.J. Watts?
He's as black as the Ace of Spades at midnight but racist Oklahoma elected him
again and again because he won the nation football championship for the Sooners - twice.
If Tebow (or is it Teabow?) had half of Uncle O.J.'s football talent,
he'd already be in the Denver Broncos Hall of Fame.
Practice, Timmy, and stop whining and stop making excuses.
You're starting to sound like Sarah Palin (not a compliment.)
Send e-mail to Bart
I haven't hear from Astrocat in a few days...
I hope he didn't get too close to a bear...
Send e-mail to Bart
Palin checks her hand to see what she believes
Wildlife Close-up
Link
Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family...
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Today's Mystery City
Link
Can you guess the city?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: last issue's mystery city
Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is New York with the Brooklyn Bridge in the foreground
and Brooklyn across the East River. For some reason, the photo has been flipped horizontally,
making all the roads appear as though people are driving on the left.
Mike Fisher
Send e-mail to Bart
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Today's History Mystery
Link
Who is today's Mystery Person?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: last issue's history mystery
What is last issue's History Mystery?
Bart, thats the The breathtaking ancient Greek temples in Paestum, south of Naples
Bruce Shoemaker
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